Tag: fc

< Mini-sode 75.5.5.5.5.5

I glance around my flat, searching for something to do. Something to talk about. Anything. Anything at all. I’m so bored. There’s nothing new with Meatloaf and Burnie. Meatloaf’s still a dickhead and Burnie’s still the lovable scaredy cat. I’ve currently got no tactical decisions to make, no transfers on the horizon, no drama at all in fact, footballing or otherwise. I take a deep breath and let out a long sigh… Fine, let’s talk about Brexit.

The United Kingdom is, to quote Graham Chapman, a silly place. It’s a silly place where rich silly people tell poor silly people to vote for laughably silly things. The poor silly people, just to compound the misery of everyone involved, then proceed to vote for the laughably silly things. The upshot of this is that the Kingdom is basically fucked. The silly people will stay imprisoned in a jail of their own making, breeding with other silly imprisoned people and creating silly imprisoned children, who will grow up and vote for an entirely new generation of silly people and laughably silly things, thus completing the silly circle of life in the United Kingdom. Anyway, I’ve decided to stay very neutral, journalistic and professional about the whole thing as I tell you all about how Brexit has played out back in Great Britain.

In truth, the warning signs were there for all to see in early 2018 when Theresa May resigned her post as Prime Minister due to a lack of support and a publicity stunt by bookmakers BetFred went horribly wrong when the public voted in Robbie Savage as her replacement, narrowly beating Alan Curbishley in the polls. Robbie Savage, to give him his dues, was a pretty horrific footballer but a decent defensive midfielder. He was actually like a “Premier League standard” version of me in my playing days, so I can’t really have a go in that regard. Since retirement, he’s been a regular presenter on the BBC’s pit of unrelenting toxicity known as the 606 phone in, and more recently the Fletch and Sav show, which to be honest I’ve never watched, so I can’t really comment. The Welshman was faced with a sink or swim round of negotiations to determine the fate of the UK and their relations with the EU, and much like in his playing days he went diving into the metaphorical ocean with 2 feet and studs raised, dropping like a sack of spuds deep beneath the waves. To put it simply, it turns out that Robbie Savage is unable to negotiate. My homeland was left with a ridiculously confusing and long-winded deal. Mind you, it just wouldn’t be political negotiations if the outcome wasn’t wordy, confusing and needlessly complicated, so here we go…

So whether a non-domestic player is signing for an English club with or without a pre-existing work permit or even if he’s just renewing his contract, the rules that determine if a permit is granted are the same, in as much as he must have played in a certain percentage of his nation’s recent International matches. If his national team is in the top 10 in the FIFA World rankings, he must have played 30% of their recent matches. If the nation is in the top 20, then it’s 45%. In the top 30 it’s 60% and in the top 50 it’s 75%. To be honest I’ve no idea what happens if the poor bloke made the unfortunate decision to be born and raised in a nation outside the top 50, but I would imagine that they’re just out on their arse. If the work permit is not granted, the club must wait 120 days before applying again.

Of course, the club could choose to appeal the decision. If the club appeals, then the decision is postponed and a work permit can be granted as long as the player ticks enough of the boxes to convince the powers that be that he deserves a chance to come over and play football. The boxes are as follows (Player needs 4 points to gain a work permit on appeal):

3 points are given if the transfer fee paid for the player is in the top 25% of Premier League transfers in the last 2 windows. Currently in the Premier League the bar to beat is £9.25M, but I imagine that fees will increase to beat that figure, driving the average up, and hence raising the bar that needs to be beaten. This could get messy. 2 points are given if the fee is in the top 50% over the same period (Currently £3.7M).

Another way to bag 3 of the 4 points required is if the player’s proposed wage would put them in the top 25% of the 30 highest earners at the club. Again, 2 points are given if they’ll be among the top 50%.

1 point is given if the player being signed is currently an “active player” for a club playing in the top 6 leagues in Europe or the top 2 leagues in South America. “Active player” is an extremely ambiguous description and will undoubtably lead to arguments. In other words, it fits perfectly into the football rule book.

Simple, eh? Of course not. You got ripped off, Savage. We all got ripped off.

So let’s just think about the fallout from the deal that the former Blackburn Rovers midfielder made with the European Union. Firstly, because of the work permit appeal system, the teams with money will still be able to get any player they want, giving them another advantage over the rest. Just tack an extra few million onto the fee and an extra £15k onto the weekly wage and you’re sorted. I hate this. I hate this with a fucking passion. The gap between the rich clubs and everyone else will grow exponentially because of these bloody rules, making the Premier League more predictable, which is the worst thing it could be.

Secondly, I’ve already mentioned the fact that everyone tacking on a few more million every time they want to sign a player will raise the average transfer fee, which will mean that everyone needs to tack a few more million on. The same goes for wages. These rules are going to accelerate inflation in football! Accelerate inflation! As if it needs any bloody help! As if the amount of money swilling around the game isn’t already utterly laughable.

Finally, as I’ve mentioned, throwing yet another ambiguous rule regarding “Active players” into football that’s “At the discretion of XYZ” will only end in tears and will ironically make the 606 phonelines that Savage used to abide explode with furious football fans, just itching to give their “controversial” 2 cents about the direction in which the game’s going.

By the way, I understand that this doesn’t affect us at the minute, but my career is only just beginning. I guarantee you I will head back to Blighty eventually, and when I do I’m going to have to deal with all this shite. For now though I’m going to settle into my new job and my new flat in Lansdowne and let Mourinho, Guardiola and co deal with it.

So to summarise, top level football is going to be more predictable, even more advantageous to the rich and even more ambiguous from now on. Fuck you, Savage. Fuck you, Brexit.

Stevie & Chappie (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Mini-sode 75.5.5.5.5)

“Santos is the people’s team, bru.”

< Mini-sode 75.5.5.5

I’ve never been outside Europe before, you know. Never. I’ve always wanted to though. There’s certain countries that I’ve always been wary of visiting, like Australia, purely because it seems like it’s designed specifically to eat, poison, or just generally kill humans, what with all the sharks, spiders, snakes, stingrays etc, but I’d still go. I want to explore these places. I want to see them all. The thought does cross my mind though, as I sit quietly like a brave boy and receive my jabs for Diphtheria, Cholera, Hepititis A and B, Rabies, Tetanus and Typhoid, that I may be jumping right into the deep end here.

My flight from Katowice takes 15 hours, with a quick 90 minute stop in Frankfurt, before eventually touching down in Cape Town. From there, I catch a train to the small and relatively quiet suburb of Lansdowne. My new home.

Maybe it’s the fact that I’m so drastically unenlightened to life outside of my European bubble, but I’d sort of expected Africa to be a 24/7 safari. I’d heard that Cape Town was inhabited by Otters, Seals, Wildebeest, Mongooses, Porcupines, Aardvarks, Leopards and Baboons, so to find my new digs on a quiet suburban street with no herds of wildebeest sweeping majestically across the main road is a huge disappointment.

I’ve rented a 5th floor apartment in quite a small block of flats, set back slightly from the road behind a mesh security fence. It’s a fairly nice building, with a sign next to the door that reads “Geen Rook Nie”. I assume that this is the name of the building. It sounds pretty exotic.

After a few minutes, I’m joined outside the security gate by a man that I recognise to be my new landlord, Stevie. He’s a tall, heavily built bloke with bronze skin and a friendly look about him. His hair’s braided into cornrows and he’s wearing the 2019/2020 Santos FC Home shirt, which was only released yesterday. Trotting alongside Stevie is a dog; Some kind of collie cross by the looks of it, although my dog breed knowledge has never been fantastic. She’s panting excitedly at Stevie’s heel as she watches me.

“There’s your keys, bra”, he says, with probably too much enthusiasm for such a mundane event. He hands me a trio of keys on a ring: One for the gate, another for the Geen Rook Nie building and a third for my flat.

“Cheers”, I mutter. “Want me to sign that?” I gesture to the Santos shirt.

Stevie grins. “Let’s see how you fare first, bru, eh?”

“Probably fair enough” I grin. “What’s you dog’s name?” I glance down at the Collie-ish dog, who is still watching me with interest, her tongue lolling out as she pants.

“She’s called Chappie. Say hello Cha…” Stevie is cut off as Chappie lunges towards me, almost knocking me over. She jumps up and rests her front paws on my stomach, supporting herself with just her hind legs, and I give her a stroke and a scratch behind the ear. It’s only now that I appreciate just how big Chappie is; she’s almost as tall as me now that she’s stood up on her hind legs. After getting a good look at me, Chappie lowers herself back onto four feet and goes back to Stevie’s heel. I smile as I watch her, then I look back at Stevie.

“Nice dog”, I smile. He smiles and nods. “So you’re a Santos fan then?” I ask, pretty redundantly.

“Ya, nee, all my life, bru.” He replies proudly.

“Go on then, what have I let myself in for?” I ask, anxious to get a fan’s perspective on my new club.

Stevie thinks for a moment. “Santos is the people’s team, bru. We aren’t the oldest club in the world, but we’re proud, you know?” His face suddenly turns very serious. “If you want my honest opinion bra, the players we have aren’t great. They aren’t bad, but they aren’t great. We stayed up last year, but it could still be tough trying to keep us up.”

I furrow my brow. “So what would you do if you were me?”

“Ag man, unless you can buy a whole new team…” Stevie scratches his chin and sighs. “You’ve got to get more out of them”, he concludes unconvincingly. It’s not the helpful and insightful ‘voice of the fans’ that I’d been hoping for.

I thank Stevie, give Chappie another scratch behind the ear, and make my way through the gate, into the building and into my new flat. My cats, Meatloaf and Burnie, are already in there. For a moment, I question how that’s actually possible, but then I just accept it as the explanation is probably dull and not worth thinking about too much.

After initially dismissing Stevie’s words as unhelpful, I find myself going over them in my head that night. How do you get the best out of what you’ve got? How do you lift mediocre players to the point where they can challenge the best in the league?

I’ve got some ideas.

Mini-sode 75.5.5.5.5.5 >
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Year 3 World Roundup (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Mini-sode 75.5.5.5)

Let’s have a look at what’s been going on around this big blue football we call Erf, shall we?

< Mini-sode 75.5.5

Do you want to know the worst thing about being a journeyman manager?

All the packing. I hate packing. I despise it. I’m the kind of person who’ll pack very begrudgingly the night before going on holiday, and then live out of my suitcase while I’m there so that I don’t have to unpack and then pack again a few days later. I just can’t be arsed.

It’s for this reason that my suitcase currently lies empty on my bed. Well I say empty, but Burnie’s decided that it’s a damn fine place to have a sleep, so he’s curled up in there. Right now though, that’s my excuse for not packing. Let sleeping cats lie, right? Right.

Let’s procrastinate. Let’s have a look at what’s been going on around this big blue football we call Erf, shall we?

It’s become increasingly clear over the last 3 years that Arsene Wenger has been the victim of an “Invasion of the Body Snatchers” style abduction. Because there is no way that the Arsene Wenger we all know and love has guided his team to a third successive title! Not only that, but he’s Manager of the Year once again!

Compared to his Arsenal side’s last 2 title wins though, this one was a bit trickier. They came out a solitary point higher than Conte’s Chelsea in 2nd place. Admittedly though, they wrapped up the league with a match to spare and had their flip flops on when Mark Warburton’s Newcastle visited on the final day, allowing Chelsea to close the gap and save face.

The big 6, none of whom have changed their managers in the last 3 years, were all once again in the top 6, this time joined by Brendan Rodgers’ Leicester City in the final European spot. Walter Mazzarri’s Watford now seem to be establishing themselves as a top half club, while West Ham plummeted down to 15th after successive top 8 finishes in the last 2 years, despite the £40m signing of Christian Benteke. My old pal Slaven Bilic was sacked in March and replaced by Maurizio Sarri. The mighty Toffees seem to be getting closer to relegation with each year that passes, but they sacked Ronald Koeman at the end of the season, so hopefully new manager Michael Laudrup will bring about a change in fortunes.

In terms of relegation, Mika Lehkosuo couldn’t keep his job after taking Fulham straight back down, despite being the one who got them up there in the first place, and has been replaced by Robbie Neilson. Another of last year’s promoted sides, Derby County, went straight back down too, costing Steve McClaren his job by the end of 2018. Up and coming Scottish Manager Stevie Crawford took over the Rams, but couldn’t charge them out of the drop zone. The last team to be heading for the Championship is Sunderland. They actually let David Moyes off the hook for relegating them in 2017 and he got them back up the next season. Taking them straight back down again though was seen as an excessive amount of failure by the Black Cats’ hierarchy and they’ve curiously appointed former Wales International and lower League One side Wycombe Wanderers’ boss Rob Page as his replacement. I’m interested to see how he does.

Anyway, Chelsea’s Mauro Icardi was the Premier League’s top scorer this season with 22, just ahead of Bournemouth’s Callum Wilson. At 27, Callum’s scored 54 goals in his last 3 seasons and is now worth £32m, which is great to see for an English lad. He’s only made 1 appearance for the national side somehow though, despite the fact that Eddie Howe was appointed England Manager last year.

Mesut Özil and Nathaniel Clyne both had outstanding seasons for their clubs, while City’s Ilkay Gündogan and Sunderland’s Oriol Romeu got the most assists. Alexis Sánchez, still at Arsenal of course because he’s incredibly loyal and content, was voted Players’ Player of the Year and Footballer of the Year, while Dele Alli bagged his 3rd Players’ Young Player of the Year award in 4 years and his Spurs teammate Hugo Lloris picked up the Golden Glove.

The team of the year exclusively features players from the top 6, with Arsenal’s Özil and Sánchez, Chelsea’s Aymeric Laporte and Icardi, Tottenham’s Lloris, Alli and Eriksen, Liverpool’s Clyne, City’s Otamendi and De Bruyne, and United’s Daley Blind.

Coming up to the Premier League are Brian McClair’s Southampton and Burnley, who were brought up but then abandoned by the Goodison-bound Michael Laudrup. Both sides are back up at the second time of asking, and are joined by Crystal Palace, who sacked Laurent Blanc in February and replaced him with Claude Makélélé, who successfully guided them to and through the play offs. If I was a betting man, I’d put my money on Patrick Vieira to be Claude’s eventual replacement. I think I see a pattern emerging. Shout out to Brian Deane too, while we’re on the Championship. He saw that his beloved Sheffield United were in trouble and leapt into action, taking over at Aston Villa and sending them down to League One instead of the Blades. Now that’s dedication.

En España, the top 2 have finally been broken up, allowing the perennial underdogs FC Barcelona to get their moment in the sun. I actually feel really sorry for their fans, having not seen their side win the league since 2016, so good on them. And fair play to ‘Manager of the Year’ Luis Enrique’s side, the title race was not close. They finished 16 points ahead of Simeone’s Atleti, and 18 ahead of Zizou’s Real Madrid. Zidane got the sack at the end of the season, which is really disappointing for the footballing world, but the massively experienced Marcelino has left Porto to take over.

Luis Suárez had a great season, scoring by far the most goals, putting on consistently excellent performances, and even pipping Leo Messi to the Player of the Year award; an accomplishment only equalled once in the last 9 years by Cristiano Ronaldo. Simone Zaza of Valencia scored the second most goals, while Celta Vigo’s highly rated young midfielder Rodrigo Bentancur got the most assists, followed by Real Sociedad’s Recio. Real’s Keylor Navas won the Goalkeeper of the Year award for the 3rd straight season.

Surprisingly Cristiano Ronaldo is only named on the bench in La Liga’s Team of the Season, and there’s no place for Simone Zaza at all! Navas is in net, with Athletico Madrid’s £35m 2018 signing Alessandro Florenzi and Real Madrid trio Sergio Ramos, Raphaël Varane, and Nacho across the back. Across midfield, Bentancur, Recio, Messi and Neymar are the picks, with Suárez and Sevilla’s Franco Vázquez up front.

The German Bundesliga has surprisingly dropped below the Premier League and Serie A in the European standings recently. Unsurprisingly though, Carlo Ancelotti’s Bayern Munich won the league for the 7th time in a row. I’ve got to tell you though… ‘Bundesliga Manager of the Year’ Thomas Tuchel’s Borussia Dortmund were so, so close. With 33 out of 34 matches played, they sat in 1st place, with Bayern a point behind them, and then they went and lost to Hertha bloody Berlin. At home. And Bayern won away at Mainz to snatch the title.

Roger Schmidt’s Bayer Leverkusen couldn’t quite keep up with the top 2, despite having the 2 highest goalscorers in the league: £24m signing Timo Werner and Javier “Chicarito” Hernández. As usual, Bayern put on a defensive masterclass, with Players’ Player of the Year David Alaba and Mats Hummels the standout performers. Leverkusen’s Kevin Kampl and Red Bull Leipzig’s Naby Keïta were the top assisters and Manuel Neuer was unsurprisingly the top keeper.

The Team of the Year was made up mainly of Bayern players, with Neuer, Jerome Boateng, Javi Martinez, Mats Hummels, David Alaba, Douglas Costa and Renato Sanches all making the cut. Naby Keïta, Marco Reus, Mario Götze and Timo Werner made up the rest of the team.

Serie A went pretty much back to normal this year I’m afraid. Spalletti’s Roma, following their dramatic last gasp title win last year, reverted to type and got in line behind the Champions: Jardim’s Juventus.

Udinese were the surprise package in the league, snatching an unlikely European spot and earning manager Luigi Delneri the Manager of the year award. A big factor in the achievement was their equally unlikely strike partnership of Stipe Perica and Jay Rodriguez, who bagged 30 goals and 12 assists between them.

Perica finished a not-so-close second in the goalscoring charts though, with Paulo Dybala having another scintillating season in front of goal. Dybala won the Serie A Player of the Year award and shone in a Juve side that also benefitted from the stunning defensive form of Leonardo Bonucci and Gigi Buffon’s replacement, Gerónimo Rulli, who won the Goalkeeper of the Year award.

The team of the year’s back 6 consisted of 5 Juventus players; Rulli, Bonucci, Sami Khedira, Alex Sandro and William Carvalho, along with Cristian Ansaldi of Inter. Napoli’s Jorginho and AC Milan’s Giacomo Bonavetura are in midfield, and there’s a front 3 of Roma’s Mo Salah, Juve’s Dybala and Fiorentina’s Federico Chiesa.

Paris Saint Germain have taken back their throne in Ligue 1, with manager Unai Emery winning the Manager of the Year award for finally pegging José Barros’ AS Monaco back. Edison Cavani’s 25 goals helped, as did £31.5m signing Gianluigi Donnarumma’s Goalkeeper of the Year winning performances.

Monaco were 10 points behind the Champions in the end, but still had a good season thanks to the goals of Alexandre Lacazette and the incredible performances of Bernardo Silva, while left winger Kylian Mbappé won the Player of the Season award. PSG’s £74m 2017 signings Thiago Alcântara got the most assists in the league, followed by Lyon’s Sergi Darder.

The Team of the Season was made up almost entirely of players from the top 2, with PSG’s Donnarumma, Serge Aurier, Thiago Silva, Marquinhos, Thiago Alcântara and Edison Cavani joined by Monaco’s Fabinho, Thomas Lemar, Bernardo Silva and Mbappé. Marseille’s Ludwig Augustinsson rounds out the numbers.

There were some huge names in the Europa League this season, resulting in some high profile ties, such as Luis Enrique’s title winning Barça being beaten in a Quarter Final tie by Pep’s Man City (3-2). City were knocked out in the semis (4-3) by Luciano Zauri’s Sampdoria. David de Dios’ Celta Vigo beat Hertha Berlin (4-3), Napoli (3-3 on away goals), Braga (4-1) and Sampdoria (5-2 in extra time) with Andreu Fontàs, Rodriguo Bentancur, and Robbie Brady the star players.

In the Champions League, Arsenal and Chelsea knocked out Bayern (3-1) and Real Madrid (3-3 on penalties) in the first knockout round, setting up all English quarter final ties Man Utd v Chelsea (2-1) and a mouth watering North London derby (5-5, Spurs won on penalties). Athletico Madrid had to beat PSG (2-1), Monaco (4-2), Dortmund (5-1) while Man Utd had to beat Olympiakos (4-1), Chelsea (2-1), Tottenham (4-3) to reach the final, where Man Utd won on penalties after drawing 1-1. Miguel Layún, former City man Matija Nastasic and Juan Mata were their star performers.

It’s funny looking at these leagues. They may as well all be taking place on a different Planet they’re so far away. But one day I’ll manage in one of them. Maybe all of them. One day.

My attention is caught by Burnie, standing and stretching, before stepping out of the suitcase and plopping onto the floor. I’d better start packing I suppose. Next stop – South Africa.

Mini-sode 75.5.5.5.5 >

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Year 3 Review (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Mini-sode 75.5.5)

Let’s have a look back on year 3.

< Meta-sode 75.5

I don’t think it’ll surprise any of you to learn that I’m immensely pleased to be leaving Poland. It’s been a real slog of a season, especially since Christmas, but in the end I did my job. I did what I set out to do. Let’s have a look back on year 3.

GKS Katowice

Final Position: 14th

Record: W9 D10 L19

Key Player(s): Sebastien Nowak, Jean “Olivier” Sumo Kingue, Bartlomiej “Bart” Kalinkowski, Grzegorz Goncerz

Highlight: Our 4-0 win away at Cracovia in August

Lowlight: Our record breaking runs of losses and games without a win

I realise that I’ve been incredibly negative about GieKSa, especially in the last few months when things weren’t going very well. Don’t get me wrong, I’m incredibly happy that I was given the opportunity to move to the Polish top tier as it was a big step up for me. And I’ve showed the World that I can (Just barely by the skin of my teeth) do a job at this level.

Lech Poznań’s Hadi Sacko won the Lotto Ekstraklasa Player of the Year award. I was a bit surprised to see that he’d clinched it as from what I saw there were plenty of players in the league that looked better, but he had a pretty good year by the looks of it, racking up the most assists out of anyone in the league, so fair play to him.

The Katowice Football Post summed up my overall feelings about this season. “They will be delighted to have finished with their heads above water”, and yeah. Pretty much. I’m still disappointed though that we lost to Rozwój Katowice in the first round of the FA Cup though. At some point I’d love to have a proper cup run, but I suppose it would’ve only been a distraction this year.

Our player of the season and young player of the season took me a bit by surprise. The fans voted by quite a distance for Tom Scheffel, but I often found myself disappointed with him. I was tipped off by the coaches upon joining GieKSa that he was one of our best players, but in my opinion he was mainly fine and sometimes awful. Bart came in second, and Mario Gregurina, who could easily be overlooked as he wasn’t a nailed on starter for us, came in third. Those two I do agree with. Also, our best eleven for the season was quite predictable, with Nowak in net, Scheffel, Olivier, Wilson and Garbacik across the back, Bart and Hurley in the middle, and Janga, Fossy and Kevin behind Goncerz.

Our goal of the season was a very good choice. Grzegorz Goncerz’s effort in our December win over KGHM Zagłębie might be the best goal that any team’s scored under my stewardship. It was not only a fantastic strike, but a great team goal.

Olivier on a free was our signing of the season, and for good reason. He attracted a lot of interest and eventually got his move away thanks to stats like these:

He made the joint second most key tackles (13) in the divison, behind Kornel Osyra.

He made the second most key headers (115), just behind Pape Djibril Diaw.

He made the most interceptions in the league (592) by a country mile.

Grzegorz Goncerz, although he received a fair bit of flack from me at times, was a decent enough striker for me. He was the joint fourth top scorer in the league with 13 in 32, and was obviously our top scorer too. Grzegorz also assisted more than any of our players. He only got 5 though, so I think that says more about the rest of the attacking players than it does about him. Finally, nobody won more Player of the Match awards for us than Grzegorz (4).

Overall, Bart had the highest average rating throughout the season, which is no less than you’d expect from the Bartbeat of the side. He had the best pass completion percentage out of everyone in my squad with 88%, and unfortunately but unsurprisingly, he got the most yellows (11) and reds (3) for us too. He also made the second most (4.00) tackles per game, coming in just behind Korona’s Vanja Markovic.

In other vaguely impressive statistical news, Hurley covered the seventh most distance per 90 minutes (8.85 miles), and Kevin made the joint seventh most key passes (25) in the league.

And finally, Olivier and Kevin were inducted onto the GKS Katowice Best Eleven sub’s bench. Good job lads.

I think the reason that I’ve not fallen in love with GieKSa in the same way that I did with SC Angrense is that with Angrense, we made a tweak here, a good signing there, and it all just slotted into place. I was spoilt. We had a bloody unbeaten season! With GieKSa, I feel like I tried everything in that second half of the season and nothing worked. Every crushing defeat was another punch in the face. I was powerless. It was incredibly frustrating.

I wish them all the best and I sincerely hope they can stay up again next season and establish themselves as a Lotto Ekstraklasa club, but I had to get out. Incidentally, so did Bart. He left just 5 days after I did, joining Russian Premier Division rookies SKA Khabarovsk for £275k.

Former Clubs

SC Angrense

I’m absolutely delighted to see that SC Angrense have had a very successful season. They were one of the clubs tipped to go back down to the Portuguese Championship, but finished 16 points clear of the drop zone in 9th place. The man that Os Heróis chose to replace me last Summer was Pedro Amora, who I had faced off against 4 times (Winning 3 times and drawing once, I might add) the previous season when he was in charge of Barreirense, and he’s done a fine job in the second tier.

Their squad is already pretty unrecognisable, with the frustratingly immovable Cristiano Magina, the heartbreakingly underused Benjamim, and O Capitão Jaime Seidi the only familiar faces on their roster. Lassina Touré was the vice captain until he was released this Summer.

FC Höllviken

Höllviken are difficult to find details on at this point, as they’re still in the 5th tier of Swedish football. Captain Wani Mukoko, Vice Captain Mattias Andersell, Lawrence and Stefan Bouvin are all still knocking about though.

So all in all, it’s been a year that I’ll be happy to leave behind, but one that I’ll hopefully learn from. Here’s to a better one at Santos FC in Cape Town, South Africa.

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Another Year Over (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Meta-sode 75.5)

That last 6 months has been bloody exhausting!

< Episode 75

Hey,

Well… That last 6 months has been bloody exhausting! The good news though is that I’ve already started playing through the league with our new club Santos FC, so in terms of gameplay I’m ahead of where I usually am at this point in the season. There is however still the small matter of writing everything down, so I’m going to take 2 weeks without dailies to get everything sorted and that should be plenty of time.

As usual, there’ll be 3 or 4 mini-sodes over the next 2 weeks where you’ll find out where we’ll review the year, have a look around the world and maybe do some kind of wacky pure story mini-sode, and then daily episodes will be back on 25th September!

As always, if you’ve got any feedback, either negative or positive, feel free to email me at franjofm23@gmail.com

Thanks for sticking with me as we’ve scrapped and scraped ourselves through a tough year in Poland and genuinely, thanks for reading and for all your feedback. Have a great couple of weeks!

Cheers,

Franjo

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Itchy Feet (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep75)

My heart is not in this job anymore. I want out so badly.

< Episode 74

Summer 2019 is a blur. Because of the winter break, the Lotto Ekstraklasa season starts in late July and it doesn’t feel like long enough of a break when your last match is in June. Nevertheless, the Summer actually starts off really well. I’m on the shortlist for Manager of the Year, which is a bit of a shock, but flattering.

I don’t win it of course, Piotr Jawny of Piast does. He guides his side to 4th place in the league after they were predicted to end up 12th, so he’s a good choice to be fair. I vote for rival manager Jacek Paszulewicz of Jagłębie Sosnowiec, as he’s overachieved too in 5th.

Then comes the inevitable pitter-patter of itchy feet, and not just from me. First Olivier, who wants to move to Sporting Gijon. In all fairness, they’re going up to La Liga and I’m not going to stand in his way of playing in such a great league. He’s earned it. After some arguing and low ball bids, I eventually let him go to Alanyaspor for £375k, rising to £620k plus 50% of the next fee. It isn’t exactly what I signed up for, as I thought he was going to La Liga, but the Süper Lig is a good one too, with some top clubs. I wish him the best of luck and I’m genuinely saddened to see him go.

The next person to attract interest from elsewhere is actually my assistant, Dennis Lawrence. Relegated Korona offer him the job of manager but I convince him to stay with GieKSa because of our good working relationship. I also tell him that he might have a shot at the Katowice job as I’m looking to leave, so he may as well stay for a while.

Then comes the hammer blow – Our Bartbeat knocks on my office door and tells me that he wants to leave. Cracovia are showing interest and he wants to jump ship. I tell him that Cracovia would have to make a bloody good bid for me to accept, but that he can leave if somebody activates his £375k foreign club release clause. Ironically, if he hadn’t scored that goal against KGHM and saved us from relegation, Cracovia would have been able to snap him up for £200k, the value of his relegation release clause. I don’t share my thought with Bart. I don’t think he’d find it funny.

It’s at this point though that I start to become completely disillusioned with the idea of staying in Poland for another year. No Olivier, no Bart, and barely any money to replace my 2 key players. I start looking around again, sending my CV in for the top jobs at Pohang in the K League Classic, USA U23s, and Maccabi Tel Aviv in the Israeli Premier League.

Sebastien Nowak and Jakub Wilk then call time on their careers. I don’t think I played Wilk more than twice at most, but fair play to Sebastien. He’s had a couple of bad moments this year but on the whole he’s been a solid number 1.

I don’t offer him a role as goalkeeping coach, because frankly the one we already have, Janusz Jojko, is far better. And as I found out when speaking to a GieKSa fan* once, he’s actually a bit famous in Poland too. Janusz made a spectacular blunder in his playing days that some still remind him of today.

But then finally, a bit of good news. Janga and Kwarko both agree to extend their loan deals by a year. They’ve been decent this year. I’ve used Janga a fair bit more out of the 2 and his performances have reflected that, but I’m glad that they’ll both be staying.

I then make a huge decision. I make the decision that me and Cristiano Magina are done professionally. I mean technically, he decides it for me by rejecting the chance to join us again, this time for a £60k fee. He’s had a decent year with Os Heróis (More on them in another episode) but sometimes you need to know when to take the hint, and that’s what I’m doing. Good luck, CM9.

When the time comes for friendlies, I’m actually quite excited. Our new shirt sponsors are a Polish… Wodka company named Wodka Wyborowa, and amongst a host of highish profile matches, I help to arrange the first annual Wodka Wyborowa Cup.

4 teams are involved: Us, CSKA Sofia, AA Gent and Ingolstadt, and our season gets off to an absolute flyer when we finish in 4th place, losing 2-4 to Sofia in the Semi-Final and 0-2 to AA Gent in the 3rd place play off. Still, at least we’re actually testing ourselves.

I keep my CV circulating outside Europe. I apply at Minnesota United in the MLS, or Min United as I hope they’re nicknamed, Santos FC in the South African Premier Soccer League, Plaza Colonia in the Uruguayan First Division, Millionarios in the Colombian First Division, Belgrano in the Argentinian Premier League, Busan in the K League Classic, and most optimistically, the Argentinian, Chilean and Colombian national team jobs.

I get a couple of interviews that go quite well, but meanwhile we keep plugging on with the friendlies, losing to Honvéd 0-1, beating Bohemians 1905 2-1 despite having Danny Wilson in net for most of the match, beating Ahi Nazareth 4-1, and finally losing to Hull 1-3. It’s a mixed bag but overall, I’m pretty pleased with where we are and how we’ve performed against quality teams.

Unfortunately, as Azevedo is injured throughout pre-season, our only goalkeeper is young Kacper Gajdemski, who spent last year in the reserves. He does fine really, but then breaks his collarbone against Bohemians 1905, ruling himself out for 7-9 weeks and forcing me to delve into the transfer market. I sign a third Scotsman for my collection: 25 year old keeper Jack Hamilton from Hearts for near enough £100k. He’s pretty good, but there’s not much value in the market for us this Summer. He’s not worth £100k, but nobody else that we could realistically sign is good enough to play.

Hurley strains his knee ligaments in our final friendly against Hull and will miss the first 2 months of the season, but on the upside, Cracovia are no longer interested in Bart and I offer him a new 3 year deal and he seems content to stay. Danny Wilson is made the new club captain, with former captain Grzegorz Goncerz demoted to his deputy, and we’re a generous 1000-1 to win the league.

All I keep thinking about though is how much my heart is not in this job anymore. I want out so badly. I wanted out months ago, and we’re now days away from the start of the 2019/20 season. I get back to Radzinski’s in a mood after finding out that Kamil Karwot has broken his arm in training and will be out for a couple of months.

I walk through the door to see GieKSik stood behind the bar. I freeze like a rabbit in headlights. I’ve heard that his vision is based largely on movement. He turns towards me though so I’m fairly sure I’ve been spotted. “What are you doing here?” I ask, trying to play it cool. GieKSik takes his head off and places it down on the bar, revealing a much smaller, much more familiar head beneath.

“I’ve just got back”, sighs Radzinski. “Went to give a talk on the dangers of excessive drinking at a primary school on the other side of town.”

“That seems unnecessary.” I reply, perplexed. “And hypocritical.” There’s a few seconds of awkward silence. “You’re GieKSik.” I ask, but as more of a statement. Radzinski scrunches up his face.

“Of course I am. You didn’t know?” My mind is racing.

“I just thought that all Polish people were awful at using English idioms.” I say quietly. Radzinski sighs.

“That’s an offensive old sterotype.” He looks at me like a parent that’s disappointed with their child. I think for a moment.

“I don’t think it is…”

“You missed a phone call this morning, a Goolam Allie?” He interrupts. My pulse quickens. Allie is the Chairman of Santos FC, the South African side that I interviewed with.

“What did he say?” I ask, again trying to play it cool.

“He said…” Radzinski ducks below the bar and rummages around for a few seconds before emerging with a tiny sheet of paper, on which a message is scrawled.

“He said… Save us, Franjo.”

Meta-sode 75.5 >

* Cheers to @GralingradPL on WordPress for letting me know about Jojko’s ridiculous throw way back in episode 52!

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Us Or Them (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep74)

I believe in Project: Meatloaf, and call me daft, but I believe in GieKSa too.

< Mini-sode 73.5

I didn’t sleep at all last night. I spent the hours that I should’ve been resting for the big game going back and forth on my decision to bring back Project: Meatloaf. We tried it once here in Katowice, and it went poorly, but we need to play for the win and the element of surprise could give us that extra edge. I know that this system works, and my squad is more tightly knit than it was earlier in the season. They’re bound together by our collective failures and subsequent fight back from the brink. I believe in Project: Meatloaf, and call me daft, but I believe in GieKSa too.

In the build up to the match, I offer a new 1 year contract to our rarely called upon goalkeeper Délcio Azevedo. If I end up staying here another year, I’d like to have a goalkeeper that I know, and Nowak’s already decided that he’s off to enjoy retirement. The delicious Avocado accepts the offer and then promptly breaks his toe, ruling him out until next season.

Garbacik and Bart both come back into the side after completing their suspensions, along with Janga and Fossy. Abramowicz, Silva, Gregurina and Amonike are the ones to drop out for this crucial match. I keep my team talk short and sweet. The players know what they need to do. They know what I expect. “Go and keep us up” I tell them with a grin, before they troop out of the changing room to line up in the tunnel.

KGHM come out with fire in their bellies. They start quicker than us, and look the more threatening of the sides. 23 minutes in, El-Bouazzati plays a long ball forward to Klimala. Klimala dribbles forward to the edge of our box and shoots, but it’s straight at Nowak and he catches the ball, which is greeted by applause from the home fans.

On the half hour, KGHM get a throw in level with our box. Nobody goes short, and the taker Warcholak takes a long run up, ready for a long throw. He launches it into the box, and into the crowd of players at the near post. Nowak comes out to claim it, but he can’t. It’s Uzelac that reaches the ball and nods it on. It bounces off Nowak’s shoulder and he dives back towards his own goal, clawing at thin air. He can’t reach it. In agonising slow motion, the ball bobbles across the line and into the net.

I get that feeling again. The one that I’ve felt just once before. That unique feeling of being hit in the face by some kind of heavy, blunt weapon, but being oblivious to the pain. The numbness has taken my body. I can’t even feel myself standing. This can’t be how my time with Katowice ends.

We haven’t been in the relegation zone since Saturday 4th of August, which is just over 10 months ago. We climbed out when we won in our 2nd league game against… Any guesses? Yeah, of course it was KGHM Zagłębie. We beat them to escape the drop zone after finding ourselves there after our first game, a thrashing against Jagiellonia, and now with an hour left of the season, they’ve put us back. As it stands, I’m taking GKS Katowice down to the second tier of Polish football.

In first half injury time, we come forward with purpose. Fossy plays a nice through ball into the path of Amonike, but the winger shoots straight at Polacek, the keeper, who catches the ball with ease.

As the players trudge down the tunnel at half time, I turn to Dennis, stood next to me in the dugout. He looks tired and worried. I’m glad I’m not the only one. We go in after the players and walk into the changing room.

I shut the door behind us, and let the silence permeate the room, broken only slightly by faint laughs and excited voices somewhere outside.

“Do you all know who I am?” I ask eventually. I get no response. I turn to Tom Scheffel. “Tom, what do you know about me? About my career?”

“You were unbeaten in Portugal somewhere?” He replies sheepishly.

“Correct, but what about before that?” I ask. Amonike pipes up.

“You were in Sweden.” He says. “The news in Angrense said that you beat a top Swedish club with a tiny one.” I give him a broad smile.

“Yeah, I remember that.” I grin. “The news labelled me as some kind of genius. As a giant killer. I couldn’t really afford to correct them at the time.” My smile fades. “But that match was a tiny, insignificant speck in my extremely short time with FC Höllviken.” I can feel everybody’s eyes on me now. I’m not entirely sure what I’m doing. It’s a bit of a Hail Mary.

“We were relegated.” I continue. “It was between us and the team we were playing in our final match, just like today. We went behind to an early goal, just like today. We just couldn’t find a way back after going behind.” The silence amongst my players is palpable. Maybe it’s pity, or worry, or resignation that my history will repeat itself.

“Once was enough.” I say quietly. I actually feel confident. I feel conviction in my words. I feel different than I did in late 2016. My Höllviken team was a bunch of misfits. The best set of vaguely talented footballers I could get at the time. This is Katowice. This is the top tier of Polish football. These are professional footballers.

“One team gets relegated today. It’s us or them. WHO’S IT GOING TO BE?”

“THEM”, comes the reply.

“WHO’S GOING DOWN?”

“THEM!”

“MAKE IT FUCKING HAPPEN!”

We go out for the second half a different team. Buoyed, confident and determined. When we kick off, we’re faster, tougher, more aggressive. I make a double sub too, with Amonike and Tarnowski replacing Fossy, who picked up a knock in the first half, and Goncerz, who has been ineffective.

With an hour gone, we’re the side in control. Project: Meatloaf is in full effect. Tarnowski plays a great ball through for Amonike in the area, similar to Fossy’s at the end of the first half. Amonike hits it, but it’s always curling just wide of the far post.

5 minutes later we go on the attack and immediately we look even more dangerous. We win a corner on the left, which Amonike swings towards the near post. It’s headed away by Zlicic, but only as far away as Janga, who heads it back into the area. Garbacik plays it on for Hurley, who shoots – But Zlicic stands firm and blocks it and the ball bounces away as far as Garbacik again. He can’t control it and the loose ball rolls to Bart. As Bart strikes the ball, Stadion GKS Katowice falls silent. As the ball ripples the net in the top right corner, it’s anything but.

I allow myself a fist pump and a smile, but then my thoughts are back on tactics. Do we drop back and invite KGHM back into the match, or do we keep going on the front foot, pegging them back? For now, we’ll stay as we are. It crosses my mind that this may turn out to be the worst mistake that I’ve made in my career to date. It’s a thought that I could do without.

With 20 minutes to play, Kevin gets the ball on the right wing. He drills the ball across the ground into the area, and Bart gets on the end of it. He goes for his second – But the ball hits the post and it rolls back across the line. Modica is the first on the scene and he hoofs it – Against his own bar, but then clear nonetheless. I decide that now is actually the time to drop back. We can hold them out for 20 minutes, I know we can. We go to an all out defensive 4-1-4-1, with Gregurina replacing Janga.

We last until the second minute of injury time, and there’s only time for one more attack. KGHM are on the ball. Their own 4-1-4-1 looks more like a 3-4-3 as they pile men forwards in search of a goal. El-Bouazzati passes to Vlasko 30 yards out and he turns towards goal. He gets the ball out of his feet, takes aim, hits it – Way, way over the bar. The referee checks his watch, and blows his whistle.

We’ve done it. We’ve survived. By the skin of our teeth, and carried through in the end by our Bartbeat, we’ve held on and avoided the drop zone by a solitary point. The weird thing is though, it feels pretty hollow. 2019 so far has been exhausting mentally. I think as soon as the final whistle went, all of the adrenaline that had been keeping me powering through all this time just dissipated. The Sword of Damocles has been hanging over my head, getting lower and lower as we’ve approached the end of the season. I’m relieved that I’ve jumped out of the way at the last second, of course I am, but it’s left me with mixed feelings.

I just want to get this Summer done with. I want to see where I’ll be at the start of next season. Who’ll want me? Who’s been watching apart from the bloody Cameroon boss? The relegation favourites have stayed up against all odds, my job here is done, and the world’s my bloody oyster.

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SuperFran – Part 2 (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Mini-sode 73.5)

Sometimes it’s not the results of our actions but our actions themselves that make us superheroes.

< Episode 73

When I was a player, albeit a pretty awful one, I had two strings to my bow. I could defend, and I could run. Defend and run. Run and defend. That was my game. We’d win the ball and I’d run into space to provide a sideways or backwards option. We’d lose the ball and I’d run back, closing down, man marking playmakers, tackling or shutting off passing lanes. I’d get the ball, I’d play it straight on. My left foot was pretty decent, although my right was non-existent. Oh, and I couldn’t shoot. Not at all. Not even a little bit.

I think my point is that in my playing days, I didn’t care about being the star player, or the goalscorer, or the superhero. I was never the name on the back of the fans’ shirts. I approached the game in the same way that I’d approach being helpful in any other situation:

Just do as many little things as you can. Make it as easy as possible for everybody else.

You can’t go far wrong with that philosophy in any walk of life. Do the boring things. The unglamorous things. The repetitive things. In the end, you can end up being a superhero to someone without scoring a bicycle kick against your rivals. Without guiding your relegation threatened team to a shock title win. Without saving your team from relegation full stop. Sometimes it’s not the results of our actions but our actions themselves that make us superheroes. Maybe not to everyone, but to someone.

I’ve done my best with my time in Poland. I can say that with my hand on my heart. I’ve made mistakes, but I’ve tried to learn from them. I’ve tried different formations, different systems and different players. I’ve tried being nice, I’ve tried being harsh, I’ve tried dropping near enough my entire first team, and for one reason or another, here we are. With a winner-takes-all match that’ll result in one of the 2 participating sides getting relegated.

We have the advantage, definitely, as a draw will keep us up, but I am not playing for the draw. I never have done and I never will. Sometimes you can look back on draws as acceptable. Sometimes you accept that a 92nd minute equaliser to level a match at 4-4 is the best that you could have hoped for in the circumstances. But we’ll play this match to win it, and during my deceptively short career I’ve found one system in particular that can save me when I’m in a bind. One philosophy in particular that can secure the win and achieve the impossible.

We won’t sit back and wait for the game to come to us. We will be the aggressor. We will be meatloaf. We will be fucking superheroes.

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KGHM: Resurgence (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep73)

These 3 games are everything.

< Episode 72

There are 3 matches left of our season, and most likely of my Lotto Elstraklasa career. 3 measly matches. It seems like nothing, doesn’t it. But these 3 games are everything. In our relegation group of 7 teams, Korona are 8th and have become the first team to be relegated, with 14 points and 2 games left.

KGHM Zagłębie have been on something of a resurgence of late after winning the Polish FA Cup, beating Bruk-Bet Termalica in extra time in the final. It’s quite an achievement, and they’ve since beaten Cracovia 2-0, Wisła Kraków 3-2 and Wisła Płock 2-1. We really need to look out for them because their late winning streak has meant that the second relegation place is very much up for grabs. They sit in 7th place on 21 points but have played one more game than us, and we’ll play them in our final game.

Wisła Płock on the other hand are without a win in 6 weeks, but we’ve not beaten them in our previous 2 meetings this season, which worries me. They sit in 6th place, also with 21 points but with 3 games left, and we’ll play them today.

You know as much as anyone how we’ve fared lately. We’ve had a torrid time followed by a sudden upturn in form, and here’s hoping that continues. We sit in 5th place with 22 points.

Wisła Kraków have had a bit of a mixed bag of late, but interestingly they’ve only won once in the last 3 months. They sit above us in 4th, also on 22 points but with only 2 games left.

Jagiellonia are in 3rd with 22 points but we’ve already played them, and I’m going to ignore Lechia and Cracovia completely as they’re pretty much nailed on for the top 2 places.

But do you see how much these next 3 matches mean? Wisła Płock, Wisła Kraków and KGHM Zagłębie are our direct relegation rivals and if we lose against them all, we’re down. We need to get a win as quickly as possible to take some of the pressure off of ourselves, so let’s do it today against Płock, shall we?

We’ve been forced to make a few changes today. I was planning on using Project: Burnie MK II anyway, but Hurley is both suspended (1 match) and injured (8-10 days with a strained wrist), Silva would have started but he’s out for 3-6 days with a bruised head, and Olivier has blisters and is only fit enough for a place on the bench.

Savanovic, Gregurina and Hutton will start in their places. Also, Tuovinen has been impressing the coaches lately with his application in training and his matches for the Reserves, so he’s in too, taking the place of Amonike.

The match starts slowly as the teams work each other out and it’s not until 10 minutes before half time that either side creates a decent chance. It’s Płock’s Aurélio that gives the ball to José Kanté on the edge of our box. Hutton sticks in a foot but Kanté hurdles it, before turning and thumping the ball into the top corner of the net. It’s a fine goal to be fair.

It all goes quiet again, and on the hour mark I decide to try to take control. We go to a controlling 4-2-3-1 with Tarnowski replacing Gregurina. We improve instantly, putting a good passing move together. Savanovic ends up with the ball and passes it to Goncerz, who holds it up before playing in Tarnowski. The substitute shoots low but Kielpin saves well.

We seem to grow in confidence over the next few minutes, but it’s a feeling that’s abruptly cut short when Bart trips Kanté and receives his second yellow card. We go down to 10 men and I adjust our tactics again, bringing off our 2 wingers Tuovinen and Kevin and replacing them with Olivier and Fossy. We go to a narrow diamond with a single striker and Hutton as the holding man.

With a quarter of an hour to play we go attacking, and very fluid, trying to recapture the hope that we so briefly showed before Bart’s red card.

A few minutes later we do show it. We counter after a Płock free kick breaks down, with Fossy passing inside to Tarnowski, who’s stationed in our half. He looks up, gets the ball out of his feet and plays a brilliant ball over the defence for Goncerz, who chests the ball down, runs through on goal, and shoots straight into the grateful arms of Kielpin.

The clock keeps ticking on and we approach the end of 90 minutes, still trailing 0-1. It doesn’t stay that way for long though, because Kun’s near post cross from a corner is nodded on across goal by Reca, and turned into the net from close range by the unmarked Kanté.

I won’t lie, that’s a really disappointing result and a really disappointing second goal. The marking by Goncerz on Reca was sloppy and the marking by absolutely anyone on Kanté was non-existent. Otherwise, I was pretty pleased with our performance. We went behind to a great strike, forced their keeper into making a couple of brilliant saves and held our own with 10 men. It’s at this point of the season especially though that pleasing performances just aren’t good enough. Points are the only thing that matter, and Wisła Płock have just separated themselves from the pack with that win.

Next up then is Wisła Kraków, another away match. Garbacik and Bart are both suspended because of their 8 cumulative yellow cards and 1 red respectively, while Olivier, Silva and Hurley are all fit and available to start, so changes are made. Olivier, Abramowicz, Silva, Hurley and Amonike replace Hutton, Garbacik, Bart, Savanovic and Tuovinen. KGHM played these away recently and won. They played 4-1-2-3, so we do too. Admittedly though, they also had the bounce from that FA Cup win. We’ll be disciplined, we’ll stick to our positions and we’ll go direct, with Hurley acting as our main creator in a deep lying playmaker role.

The sight of players like Vidémont and Morrell make me shudder slightly. They were both very good going forwards the last time we played Kraków in that insane 4-4 draw. Indeed only 3 minutes in, Vidémont passes to Morrell just outside our box and he shoots towards the bottom right corner, but Nowak just manages to tip the ball against the post. It rolls back across the line and thankfully Danny Wilson is there first to hoof it away.

Near the end of the half, Maczynski sends a corner in towards our near post. Goncerz heads it away but only as far as Malecki, who takes it down and drills it towards the bottom left corner. Amazingly, Nowak gets down again to tip the ball onto the post. The ball rolls across the line again and this time Olivier clears it before anyone can knock it in.

2 minutes later though, Wisła Kraków get the breakthrough that I think we can all agree they deserve when Morrell lays the ball off for Maczynski and he slides the ball under Nowak.

10 minutes into the second half we’ve still barely had a sniff, but then Hurley breaks forward on the ball and plays it to Gregurina, who’s promptly tripped by Popovic. He’s shown his second yellow and we’ll play against 10 men for the remaining 35 minutes.

With half an hour to go, Fossy comes on replacing Silva and we change to a 4-2-3-1 with wing backs. Kraków have gone to a narrow diamond so we’ll have our wingbacks and wide men double up on their fullbacks, overloading and exploiting the wide areas.

We’re still failing to break through over the next 10 minutes or so. The only shots are speculative efforts from Morrell and Mak, both of which go well wide. We go attacking.

With 5 minutes to go, our misery is compounded when Brlek’s free kick is met by Czerwinski, who directs his header into the bottom corner of the net.

The first shot that I can remember us actually having comes from Hurley in injury time, but it goes wide. This has been a toothless performance and the best team have definitely won.

Nounkey, the Cameroon boss, was in the stands again today. How much do you need to see of Olivier before you make your mind up, Nounkey? You’re like the bloody kiss of death for my defence, you never turn up for a win.

Anyway, here’s the situation following that shambles: Jagiellonia, Wisła Kraków and Wisła Płock have all dragged themselves out of the relegation battle. Our final match will be against the only team apart from ourselves that can take the second relegation spot: The resurgent KGHM Zagłębie. We sit a single point above them, so if we win or draw, we’ll stay up. If we lose however… Bye bye, Lotto Ekstraklasa.

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Mr WT Franco (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep72)

Well I’ve made a sworn enemy today.

< Episode 71

To MR WT FRANCO,

Thank you for your interest in the position of MANAGER at Ajax Cape Town.

We regret to inform you that on this occasion, your application has been unsuccessful, but we’ll keep your CV on file should any MANAGER positions become available in the future.

Warmest regards,

Ari Efstathiou

Ajax Cape Town Chairman

“Mr WT Franco”. I read the words over and over. “Mr WT Franco”. “Mr WT Franco”. “Mr WT Franco”.

Huh.

Well I’ve made a sworn enemy today.

I crumple the letter in my hand and throw it roughly in the direction of the bin. It’s nice to know that I was seriously considered for the job. I mean, I had an interview for fucks sake. He called me Franjo in the interview! … Didn’t he? Maybe he called me Franco and I instantly shrugged it off and forgot about it, assuming that he misspoke or that I misheard.

Well in any case, I hope you’re pleased with yourself Ari, because you just made my list. You will know my name. You’ll curse my name as your empire crumbles around you.

I’ve got to get myself to South Africa.

Anyway, that’ll have to wait. For now, Grzegorz Goncerz has won a place in the team of the week for his 2 goals against Jagiellonia in our WIN!

That’s right, our fucking WIN last week! That monkey’s been on our back for 5 long and painful months, but against Jagiellonia we grabbed it by it’s stupid little primate face and threw it into the Baltic sea. Our fight to avoid relegation has officially begun.

Our victory also prompted Wojciech Cygan to offer me a new one-year contract, and here’s the thing… I signed it.

I do realise that I’m sending out mixed messages, but the long and short of it is that I don’t want to be unemployed. I do want to leave Poland this Summer, but if nobody wants me I’m willing to stay in Katowice rather than have another few months on the dole. Of course, there is still the chance that we’ll be relegated in 5 games time, in which case I’ll be chucked out on my arse anyway. Another upside to my new contract is that I demanded that the need to sign high profile players be removed as we just don’t have the resources or the pull, and Wojciech accepted.

A trip to Lechia awaits us today, a team that have already beaten us 3-0 and 1-0 this season. I really would like to kick on and get another win, so I’ve been doing extra homework this week. The thing about Lechia is that they play with that really annoying withdrawn 4-2-3-1 that is incredibly difficult to break down. Our usual wide 4-2-3-1 would be useless against it, as their block of 4 central defensive players would isolate our 2 central attacking players without breaking a sweat, and they aren’t particularly vulnerable on the wings either with their fullbacks supported by withdrawn wide midfielders.

So my solution is a new, bespoke system just for them. It closely resembles a narrow diamond formation but with the fullbacks pushed up as wingbacks. This way, we have 2 strikers (Tarnowski and Goncerz) and an attacking midfielder (Fossy), and 2 central midfielders (Bart and Gregurina) with specific instructions to push forward through the centre. We’ll outnumber their defensive block 5 to 4. The wingbacks (Scheffel and Garbacik) will provide width and support attacks, while we have our own defensive triangle (Olivier, Wilson and Silva) to keep us safe. We’ll play a fluid, counter attacking game and focus all our play through the centre where we have the numeric advantage. It’s a ballsy system, but I think it’s just ballsy enough to work.

I’m practically smacking my lips as I walk into the away dugout, but once the players come out onto the pitch and line up, my eyes widen with terror. They aren’t playing the annoying, withdrawn 4-2-3-1 after all. They’re playing a bog standard 4-1-2-3. All of my preparation for nothing. This side is delicately balanced to counter their usual system! The system they use every pissing game!

Captain Goncerz turns to me from his place on the centre spot, narrows his eyes and shrugs. He too has obviously spotted the 4-1-2-3. I give him a thumbs up and mouth “It’s fine”. This seems to reassure him and he turns back around, ready to kick off. We’re so fucked.

7 minutes in, Cermak swings a corner in for the hosts. Gregurina’s there at the near post to head the ball away, but only as far as Cermak again. He crosses a second time and this time Grozav gets his head to the ball, directing it into the net.

With a quarter of an hour gone though, Bart plays a great chipped pass over to Scheffel on the right wing. He turns inside and crosses for Goncerz, who volleys it sweetly past the keeper.

After another 10 minutes, a free kick right outside the box is smacked against the bar by Lechia’s set piece specialist, Cermak. It’s a narrow escape for us.

The first half ends with the scores tied, but to be honest our new system has worked quite well. It’s kept Lechia guessing and we’ve played some quite nice football. We head back out unchanged.

5 minutes later, Fossy drifts a free kick from the left wing into the box. Olivier rises above his marker and nods the ball over the stranded keeper, who had come to claim the ball. It loops over his head and bobbles slowly over the line, giving Olivier his first GieKSa goal.

Another 5 minutes pass before Wolski chips a cross in from the left, Kadlec lays the ball off and Grozav shoots for the bottom corner, but Nowak gets down to parry it behind. We change to Project: Burnie MK II to try to protect our lead. Amonike replaces Michal Tarnowski to balance the side.

With just over 15 minutes to play, Cermak chips the ball across for Remmer on the right, who volleys it brilliantly into the 6 yard box for Kadlec, who bundles it in to equalise for Lechia.

Each team has a decent chance in the final 10 minutes. First, Amonike drives down the right and shoots into Kuciak’s arms, and then Grozav runs through on goal but puts his shot over the bar. All in all, we’ll happily take a point from that game, but more pleasingly, I suspect that Lechia will too.

I’m especially happy for Olivier. He doesn’t threaten from set pieces too often, so it was great to see him on the scoresheet today. He even earns himself a place in the Team of the Week.

So a win and a draw in 2 matches. I honestly pity the fools that have to try and stop this runaway train now that it’s picking up speed. Step on up, Korona.

Korona visit us today as the team that are bottom of the league. That feels good. However, they’re only 4 points below us, which, if we take our eye off the ball, could easily turn into 1 point. Then we’d be right back in the thick of it.

We’ll line up in a counter attacking 4-2-3-1, with Hurley replacing Gregurina in midfield and Janga replacing Fossy in the hole. It’s make or break time.

It takes less than 10 minutes, and I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. Amonike runs down the right wing and swings a peach of a cross to the far post. Kevin leaps to meet the ball with his head and heads it straight against the bar. For a second, everything stops. The ball rebounds back into the 6 yard box. Who’ll reach it first? Kevin wants it. So does Goncerz. Unforunately it’s right back Mateusz Mozdzen who leaps in to ensure he gets to the ball first. Fortunately though, he knocks it straight into his own net.

It really is a horrible half of football. There are no more quality chances, just 22 men kicking 7 bells out of each other. The bookings flow like draft wodka. Silva comes on for Janga at half time to drop back in front of the defence, and we prepare for a scrap.

Just after the hour mark, a long Nowak free kick is aimed towards Amonike, but Tomasevic challenges him for the ball in the same way that a wrecking ball challenges the structural integrity of an old abandoned building. He flies through our winger and earns himself a second booking and an early bath.

With 10 minutes to go, we go all out defend, and I tell the lads to keep the ball in order to kill the game, but it doesn’t make the last 10 minutes any less vicious. We make it until the 2nd minute of injury time, but then Hurley collides with Zubrowski. Both players were already on a booking and to be honest I thought it was an old fashioned 50:50, with both players having just as much blame as the other. The referee disagrees though and shows Hurley his second yellow. He heads down the tunnel for an ever so slightly earlier bath than everyone else. In the moment though, I couldn’t care less. The final whistle blows. 1-0.

Now this is pod racing, my friends. My lads have finally come through. That’s 7 points from our last 3 matches, and if we keep up that kind of form for the final 3 games, we’ll be well clear of relegation.

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One Of Two Ways (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep71)

Right, I think as I get to my feet and reach for my trusty grey coat, let’s do this.

Side-note: Fixed my PC over the weekend so video highlights are back!

< Episode 70

“I won’t lie to you, I’m nervous.” I say quietly. “We need to win at least a couple of matches out of the 7 we’ve got left, or we’re going down. We’ve not won a match in 5 months, so that’s going to be a bit of a challenge.”

Burnie stares back at me silently from my lap, watching with vague interest as I think aloud.

“I’m bringing all of the players I dropped back into the first team, but that could go one of two ways.” I press on. “They could come back with something to prove, having learned their lesson. They could come back determined and aggressive.” Burnie continues to stare at me curiously. “Or…” I let out a sigh. “… They could come back resentful and apathetic. They could decide that they don’t care about the fate of GKS Katowice, or that they just don’t want to play for me anymore. I wouldn’t blame them to be honest.”

Burnie yawns widely, showing his many tiny feline teeth as he seems to unhinge his entire jaw, like a cobra about to chow down on a whole cow or whatever it is they like to eat. He stands, stretching his legs, and plops gracefully down onto the floor, before wandering away in the direction of his food bowl, leaving me quite alone.

The one player we’ll be without today is Hurley, who’s serving a 1 match suspension for accruing his 4th yellow card. We’ll play 4-2-3-1 and we’ll sit deep before hitting Cracovia on the counter attack. Nowak plays behind a back 4 consisting of Scheffel, Olivier, Wilson and Garbacik, Bart and Gregurina form the midfield duo, with Janga, Fossy and Kevin behind Goncerz.

Right, I think as I get to my feet and reach for my trusty grey coat, let’s do this.

After quarter of an hour, Forsell chips a free kick into our box from the right. Adamczyk goes for goal on the volley, but his shot deflects off a crowd of bodies and bounces to the far post. Covilo acts faster than Tom Scheffel and gets to the ball first, directing it past the helpless Nowak and into the net.

5 minutes later, it’s us with the set piece. Our corner is cleared as far as Tom Scheffel, our last man, who takes 5 full seconds to think about where he wants to play the ball. Unfortunately, that’s plenty of time for Apostolovic to tackle him and play a quick ball ahead of Platek, who dashes through on goal and clips the ball easily past the outrushing Nowak. 0-2 down after 21 minutes, we quickly change to a more attacking playstyle.

Right on the stroke of half time, Janga intercepts a rogue Cracovia pass in our half and powers down the right wing. He does brilliantly, leaving the defenders for dead and drilling a low cross in to Goncerz, who bundles the ball into the net from close range. The goal gives us something to be optimistic about during the break.

With 25 minutes to play, we still trail Cracovia by a goal. Tarnowski and Kwarko come on for Fossy and Kevin. Just a few minutes later, Platek gets the ball and runs directly at our centre backs. Olivier sticks out a foot and trips him, conceding a free kick and earning himself a second yellow card and thus a red. Luckily, Cetnarski hits his free kick straight at Nowak, who catches it cleanly.

With just over 10 minutes to go, our 10 man team collapses. First, Apostolovic receives the ball from Dabrowski and drives down the right, getting himself a yard clear of Garbacik and drilling in a cross. Platek lays it off for Adamczyk, who’s unmarked and finishes calmly. Then almost straight from kick off, Garbacik decides to lump the ball forward and hand possession back to Cracovia. Another exquisite ball from Damian Dabrowski finds Adamczyk on the left wing. He gets clear of Scheffel and chips the ball into the centre, where Platek is waiting to tuck the ball into the net. Game well and truly over.

I don’t think I’ve got it in me anymore to just shout at them. I don’t know what good it’ll do. I walk straight from the dugout out of the ground and onto the team bus, forgoing the team talk. I sit at the front, alone, and wait for the players to troop on silently, filling up the seats behind.

But hey, need something vaguely resembling good news to pick you up? Me too! So congratulations Sebastien Nowak for becoming GieKSa’s oldest ever player!

And congratulations to Zagłębie Sosnowiec’s Ben Whitfield for being shortlisted for the Lotto Ekstraklasa Player of the Season award. Just take my vote and get out of my sight.

And finally, I’m sure it won’t surprise you to learn that I’ve been casting an eye elsewhere lately, resulting in an interview with Ajax Cape Town in the South African Premier Soccer League. I attend and it goes quite well. I’ve been wanting to get out of Europe for a while now and I’d relish the challenge of managing in South Africa. I’ll keep you posted.

Anyway, next up is Jagiellonia at our place. They remind me of a happier time as they were one of the last teams we defeated before we embarked on this horrific run of games.

Scheffel and Olivier are both suspended for one match, so they miss out. Gregurina, Janga and Fossy are all left out too as I bring in Jaworski, Hutton, Hurley, Amonike and Tarnowski. We’ll try to get on the front foot and control the game.

Just over 5 minutes in, Ngombo comes forwards with the ball, drawing Hutton out of position before playing a pass into the space for Starzynski. He shoots with power but the ball flies just wide.

The rest of the half is tightly contested, but the best chance comes a few minutes before half time when Garbacik throws the ball down the line from a throw in. Tarnowski is on the receiving end and lays it off for Kevin, who’s stood 25 yards out from goal. Kevin plays the ball on first time for Goncerz, who holds it up well before sliding the ball across to Amonike. The winger just needs to place it into one of the corners, but only manages to pea roll the ball straight into the arms of the keeper from 12 yards.

With almost an hour gone, Garbacik wins the ball from deep in our half and hoofs it towards Goncerz on the halfway line. Our striker takes it down and dribbles forward into the Jagiellonia half, before playing it across into the space outside the area for Bart. He takes a couple of touches and shoots, but his effort just grazes the top of the bar as it goes over.

We win the ball back quickly after the goal kick though and Bart spreads it out to Amonike on the right wing. He thinks about attacking the fullback and going down the line but instead turns inside and crosses with his left foot. The ball falls to Goncerz in space at the far post and he takes it down brilliantly, before sliding it into the bottom corner with his left foot. 1-0.

I’m skeptical at this point of our ability to hold onto a lead, and rightly so. Not even 5 minutes after Goncerz’s goal, a nice move from Jagiellonia leads to Kucharczyk laying the ball off for Jelic, who smacks it into the bottom corner to equalise.

With a quarter of an hour to play it’s still all square. Bart wins the ball in out half and finds Tarnowski, who plays it on first time to Kevin on the halfway line. Kevin looks up and sees Goncerz running through the central channel beyond the defenders. He picks him out superbly, lobbing his path over the defenders, and Goncerz takes the ball down. He runs through on goal with the defenders snapping at his heels. He looks up to see the keeper coming off his line to close the angle. Goncerz picks his spot and shoots left footed – And the net ripples as the ball flies into the top corner.

Every member of my coaching staff and all of my substitutes are instantly up off their feet, cheering and applauding, but there’s still 15 minutes to play. As I say, I’m skeptical nowadays.

“Calm down,” I bark, silencing them all at once. “Mario, warm up.” Gregurina comes on replacing Michal Tarnowski and we swap to a 4-1-2-3 formation. We go all out defence. But Jagiellonia are throwing the kitchen sink at us now. We go into injury time still ahead. The 92 minutes are almost up and Jagiellonia are in possession of the ball. Canouse has it 25 yards from our goal.

Come on, I mutter under my breath. Just once. Just once, let us win.

Canouse looks up, takes aim and smashes the ball – Just over the top of the bar. The referee blows his whistle. That was the last kick of the game.

I get straight to my feet this time, beaming from ear to ear. Dennis grabs me and ruffles my hair. In the words of Mr Burns, it’s a little overfamiliar, but I’ll allow it. I stride over to Piotr Szendzielorz, the Jagiellonia manager, and offer him a trembling hand.

“Well played,” I smile.

“Well done, friend” he smiles back warmly and takes my hand, shaking it firmly. I think my immense relief must be showing on my face.

Our winless nightmare is over. It’s finally bloody over.

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All Hands On Deck (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep70)

I may well be the worst Manager that GKS Katowice have ever had.

< Episode 69

Ah, the sweet relief of avoiding a loss. It’s a bit disappointing that results like this are cause for celebration nowadays, but we are where we are and it is what it is. A strange and disturbing thought crossed my mind after the Wisła Kraków match when I was informed that our 12 games without a win was a new club record. It crossed my mind that “Achieving” that record, along with the one for our 6 straight defeats a couple of months ago, means that I may well be the worst Manager that GKS Katowice have ever had.

It’s a really unsettling thought, but put into perspective, we’re actually overachieving. Remembering that we were not only heavy favourites to go down, but to finish bottom of the league gives me some comfort.I suppose it’s all about context. For example, I still think of my stint at FC Höllviken as the biggest failure in my career to date. I saw the team through 3 wins and 5 defeats in 8 matches. That’s far, far better than we’re currently doing. The difference of course is that in the first half of this season with Katowice, we bought ourselves some much needed breathing room, whereas at Höllviken we had no such luxury. It’s strange comparing my stints with the 2 clubs in that way. It makes you think.

We welcome Pogoń to Katowice today. This is our last chance to put some points on the board before our tally gets halved and we head into the relegation stage. We’re without our Bartbeat as he serves a 1 match suspension for collecting 8 yellow cards. Hutton replaces him at centre back. I’m also making a couple of other changes as we swap to a 4-1-2-3 formation with which we’ll try to control the game. Fossy comes out despite his excellent game against Kraków as we aren’t using a number 10, which I’ve found is the only position he can successfully play. Rodrigo Silva replaces him as a holding man, fresh from scoring his first professional goal in extremely dramatic circumstances. I’m also bringing Jaworski out of the team. We gave it a go but he’s not ready and I feel like putting him through this with the first team is slightly unfair. Franczak will drop back to fullback, while Tuovinen takes his place on the right wing.

I’m not entirely vindicated in my decision to start Tuovinen when he loses possession in Pogoń’s half 5 minutes in. What comes next is a brilliant, high tempo counter attack culminating with Rudol placing a cross straight onto the forehead of Jaroch, who directs the ball into the far bottom corner.

You’d think we’d fight back. You’d think we’d keep peddling. Especially when we go on the attack at half time. Apart from a Gyurscó pot shot just after half time though, the match fizzles out. None of Jaworski, Machalski or Karwot can turn the tide when they’re brought on with half an hour to go. It’s a gutless performance and I’m thoroughly disappointed.

What a wasted opportunity. We’d brought a losing streak to an end with a dramatic 92nd minute equalising penalty to draw a match level at 4-4, and what do we do next? We throw away our chance of gathering momentum. We finish 14th in the Lotto Ekstraklasa league stage, marooned between Wisła Płock, who are 7 points above us, and Korona, who are 6 points below.

Everybody’s points will now be halved as we enter the relegation group, meaning that on the upside, we’re only 3 points behind Płock, but on the downside we’re only 3 points ahead of Korona in the relegation zone.

I’m sick of dropping people. Overall it’s a motivational strategy that’s had little to no impact and who knows, may have even cost us points. Everybody will come back into the fold for our next match. Clean slates all round. We’ll absolutely need points to avoid relegation now and we need all hands on deck to make it happen.

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All Downhill From Here (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep69)

I don’t know if I can do this anymore, GieKSa. I think I’m done.

< Mini-sode 68.5

It’s all going to be OK. It’s all going to be fine. Somebody once told me something that really resonated with me. They said “It’s all downhill from here.” It’s not an uncommon phrase, and I’d heard it many times before. But it wasn’t the words that resonated with me, it was the perception of the meaning behind them that I hadn’t heard before.

If you’re riding a bike up a steep hill, then going up is the tough part. You pedal, and pedal, and pedal. It’s exhausting and it’s painful. But once you’ve pedalled enough, once you’ve put in the work and the pain, once you’ve shed enough sweat and tears, you find yourself at the top of the hill. And it’s all downhill from here.

Recently, we have been pedalling and pedalling and pedalling and I have to hope that we’re coming close to the top of the hill. What I’d give at the minute to be able to just hold onto the handlebars, keep my feet steady on the pedals and let gravity take care of the rest.

Today we take on Górnick at home. Last week we travelled to Piast and were unravelled by Tricky Janicki, and so I must drop 3 of my players. As the lowest performing players in that match, Tom Scheffel, Danny Wilson and Adrian Garbacik will be the ones to make way. Wilson’s suspended anyway after picking up 4 yellows, but I want it on record that he’d be sat in the stands even if that wasn’t the case.

To be honest, I had hoped that this new self-imposed rule would spur my players on to pick up a win, but I think that all I’ve succeeded in doing so far is cutting my nose off to spite my face. The upside though is that I have the chance to freshen up my squad with new or rarely seen faces.

I had hoped that Alan Hutton could replace compatriot Danny Wilson, but he picked up a bruised head a couple of days ago and so is not fit to play. I know, I don’t get it either. I thought he was Scottish. I doubt that Duncan Ferguson’s head was ever completely unbruised, but he still racked up 98 career goals. I’m willing to bet that at least 95 of them were with his head too. Anyway, Hutton is out of contention, so Bart will drop back into the centre of defence, with Gregurina replacing him in midfield. Abramowicz replaces Garbacik and 15 year old Tomasz Jaborski replaces Scheffel. He’ll set a Lotto Ekstraklasa record as the league’s youngest ever player.

I know what you’re thinking.

“You’ve lost it, Franjo!”

“You’re out of your mind!”

“I have a tattoo of your half-robot face on my thigh!”

Maybe you’re right. Maybe I’m crazy. Maybe I’m mad. Maybe I’m extremely photogenic and an excellent choice for anyone’s thigh tattoo. But my squad is failing. I expected them to bounce back by now and they haven’t, and yes, a lot of the blame for that is on my shoulders, but this kid’s mind is fresh. He’s untroubled by our recent failure. If he can play with a smile on his face and a couple of the lads follow suit, my gamble will have paid off.

10 minutes in, we go close. Kevin plays a well timed cross to Aaron Kwarko, but his header bobbles wide. A few minutes later, Kwarko gets into the box again, this time on the end of a pass from Fossy on the right. He shoots with power, but Berkovec saves and does well to hold onto it.

Alas, our promising start unravels before the 20 minute mark. Peyrzak’s corner is headed clear by Gregurina but only as far as Dzalamidz, who toe-pokes the ball into the bottom corner from the edge of the area.

We try to control the game after half an hour, but we just can’t find the equaliser. 10 minutes into the second half, Mackiewicz has the ball on the left wing for Górnick. He skips down the line past young Jaworski, who sticks out a foot and brings him down for a penalty. I bury my head in my hands. I’ve picked a young lad in the team to add some optimism into the squad, and within an hour he’s set a new record for “Youngest ever player to give away a penalty in the Lotto Ekstraklasa”.

Vukobratovic’s penalty is near perfect. Power, accuracy, straight into the bottom corner. Nowak dives the right way but gets nowhere near it. With an hour gone, I break out a rare triple substitution. Gregurina, Kwarko and Tarnowski are replaced by Machalski, Tuovinen and Stryjek.

Within minutes, the extremely unfit Machalski is looking lively and wins the ball from Olejarka. He hoofs it onto the right wing for Ari Tuovinen, who breaks away down the line. I feel my vindication blanket drawing closer… Until Tuovinen makes the absurd decision to shoot from way out on the right wing. The ball goes nowhere near the goal. I am displeased.

We go attacking, but the last chance of the game goes to Mackiewicz following a Dzalamidze free kick. His shot is caught comfortably by Nowak. 0-2 it ends. I guess we’ll just have to pedal that little bit more.

The GieKSa press officer, Michal Dabrowski, is sending me weekly updates on how long it’s been since we last won a match, which is really fucking helpful and appreciated.

Next up in my fully immersive nightmare is a trip to Wisła Kraków. After their terrible start to the season, Kraków have picked themselves up for the second half of their campaign. Good for them. They currently sit above us in 13th place with 4 more points. We risk really isolating ourselves in the relegation scrap if we lose to them.

In terms of our inevitable personnel changes, Kwarko, Kevin and Tarnowski are dropped. Franczak, Glen and Stryjek are all in. With no disrespect to these guys, I’m really scraping the barrel now. Jaworski stays in the lineup because I want to give him another chance to prove himself.

It takes just over 10 minutes for Malecki to hoof a cross in from the right wing, and for Morrell to slip into space between Bart and Jaworski and nod the ball home.

Another 10 minutes passes before Morrell receives the ball again, this time skipping effortlessly past Gregurina and Hurley and into the box. He shoots, but drags his shot wide of the far post.

5 minutes later, Ondrasek crosses from the right. The ball flies over Bart’s head once more and Vidémont’s there to volley it in at the far post. 0-2.

I can barely believe my eyes though when within 2 minutes, young Stryjek releases even younger Glen on the left wing. The nippy youngster takes it forward and clips a lovely cross to the far post, where Franczak arrives to apply the finish. My fist flies into the air so fast that I nearly dislocate my shoulder.

Straight from kick off however, Kraków come back at us. This time, Bartosz crosses to the near post and Ondrasek is there to volley the ball into the bottom corner, restoring his team’s 2 goal lead almost instantly.

It’s actually quite impressive that with 25 minutes gone, we were losing 0-1, and with 30 minutes gone, we’re losing 1-4. Kraków’s 4th comes just 2 minutes after their 3rd, when Morrell dribbles into the box and up to the byline, squares the ball for Ondrasek, and he blasts his second past Nowak.

I watch my players’ body language as they troop back to their positions, heads down, shoulders slumped. I watch the travelling fans, those who’ve shown up at least, as they boo and shout and throw their hands up in despair. I don’t know if I can do this anymore, GieKSa. I think I’m done.

In the 32nd minute though, Bartosz is caught in possession outside his own box and Fossy nicks the ball away from him. I look up hopefully from my current position, slumped back in my seat in the dugout. Fossy lays it off for young striker Stryjek, who shoots from just outside the box – And the ball flies into the top corner. 2-4. All I can manage at the minute is a smile though. Good for Stryjek, I think. Maybe I’ll try to sign him on loan for my next, far inferior club after I’m sacked in disgrace.

With just under 10 minutes to go until the break, Abramowicz takes a throw in, launching the ball down the left wing and into the box for Fossy to chase. Fossy does chase it, but just as he gets close to the ball, he’s tripped by Maczynski. My heart skips a beat. He was inside the box. The referee blows his whistle and runs over, pointing to the penalty spot.

Mario Gregurina places the ball at 12 yards and measures his steps backwards. The referee’s whistle blows. Gregurina takes a step, and another, and runs the last few, before striking the ball, and placing it comfortably into the bottom left corner. 3-4. I do stand this time, feeling hopeful enough to fist pump once more. The bastards are pedalling. They’re pedalling furiously against the steep incline, against the force of gravity, against wind resistance. Just keep going, I beg them silently, just pedal a little further.

Half time comes and goes. I urge the lads on in my team talk, convincing them that the next goal will be ours. That they can still get a result. I think they believe me. I hope they do.

Nearly 10 minutes after the restart, my group of lovable misfits are playing with their chests puffed out. Fossy is having the game of his life and he plays a nice through ball into the box for Stryjek, who should shoot first time but takes a touch instead, allowing Lis to close down the angle and save his shot. The crowd are on board now though, cheering the players on. Kraków are getting scared, mistakes are becoming more and common among their players.

With a quarter of an hour to go though, they break. Sylwestrzak gets away down the left wing. He crosses the ball into the centre and Ondrasek meets it with his head – But the ball cracks against the bar. He was inches away from his hat trick. We go on the attack.

5 minutes later, I opt once more for a triple substitution. There’s only 10 minutes to play and the fresh legs can only be good for us. Off come Gregurina, Hurley and Glen, on come Rodrigo Silva, Machalski and Karwot.

But it’s no use. The clock keeps ticking on. 90 minutes pass and the 4th official signals for 2 minutes of injury time. We’ve not gotten close since Stryjek’s chance in the 54th minute.

But then Stryjek finds himself with the ball, 20 yards out. He holds it up well. I get up from my seat, along with the travelling fans and my coaching staff. Stryjek lays the ball off for Rodrigo Silva, who’s bombed on from his regular holding man role, arriving just outside the box. He shoots low, and the ground goes silent. The whole stadium inhales as one as the ball fizzes towards the bottom corner – And is saved by Lis. I make an involuntary agonised noise as I watch it bobble onto the right wing, away from goal.

But we aren’t done. Franczak picks the ball up on the right, turns and swings a cross towards the far post. Kamil Karwot leaps to reach it, but he can’t. He ends up in a heap on the floor. Because he was pushed by Malecki. The referee’s whistle goes as he once again runs over, pointing to the spot.

After a split second of realisation, every single person affiliated with GKS Katowice lets out a cheer or a scream or a shout of delight. Apart from me. Not yet. Not until I see 4-4 up on the score board.

After a few seconds, the delight turns into worried murmurs and I think I know why. Mario Gregurina, our usual spot kick taker who has already put one away today, has gone off. And we’re left with, quite frankly, a bunch of kids to choose from to take the second.

And then I remember. I remember a moment that seems like it was played out a whole lifetime ago, but in reality was only just over a year ago. A moment when I watched a 16 year old boy step up for a team of youth candidates, unfazed by the prospect of taking a penalty against a goalkeeper twice his age. He rifled the ball into the net from 12 yards then, and he can do it again. I catch Silva’s eye as he trudges back towards the half way line, and point towards the box. “Take it Rodrigo!” I shout.

Dennis turns to me with a look of confusion on his face. “Rodrigo, Boss?” He asks.

“He’ll be fine.” I reply, as Silva starts jogging back towards the box. I sound a lot calmer than I feel.

Silva does look slightly more worried than I remember in that youth candidates match last March though, as he steps up and places the ball on the spot. He, like Gregurina, counts his steps back. The referee blows his whistle, and Rodrigo breaks into a jog, before hitting the ball – Nay, fucking twatting the ball – Straight down the middle of the goal, past the flailing feet of the goalkeeper as he dives out of the way to his left. 4-4.

Euphoria ensues. I don’t think I’ve ever celebrated a point more. The players are piling up on top of Silva in the corner where the fans are sitting. The travelling fans that have finally been rewarded; Bouncing, singing and cheering as their heroes gather below. Dennis leaps into the arms of one of the coaches like he’s Scooby Doo, laughing hysterically while the rest of the staff high five, hug and laugh.

I just stand outside my dugout: Applauding, breathing a sigh of relief, and wearing the first genuine smile I’ve worn in a long time.

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Chin Up (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Mini-sode 68.5)

“We’re in relegation form at the minute and I can’t turn it around.”

< Episode 68

Our eyes meet as I turn the corner towards the home changing room. He’s walking towards me from the other end of the corridor and we’re on a direct collision course. I avert my eyes sheepishly and step to my right, but as I do, he steps to his left. I see him in my peripheral vision. We’re still heading straight towards one another. I quickly step back to my left, but he steps back to his right at the exact same time, like he’s my mirror image. My horrifying, vampiric mirror image. GieKSik starts to laugh. “We seem unable to avoid each other,” comes the gruff, familiar voice from behind the dead eyes and the joyless, unmoving smile.

I look up and give the kind of facial expression that every Englishman perfects over his lifetime; The eyes roll in a full circle, as if to say “What are we like?”. The head shakes back and forth, and at the same time tilts ever so slightly upwards, to ensure that eye contact absolutely cannot be made. The lips curl up at the corners, in an attempt to convince our new foe that we feel something other than pure, unbridled fury towards them and the situation that they alone have caused and inflicted upon us. The whole thing is brought together by a short “Tsk” as the tongue clicks against the roof of the mouth. For such a tiny noise, it packs a hell of a passive-aggressive punch.

Content that I’ve made my point, I continue to walk, stepping to my right so that I can pass GieKSik. As I do though, he stops and places a huge padded hand on my shoulder, stopping me in my tracks. I instinctively look around for something that could be used as a weapon. A ready-made wooden stake perhaps? A clove of Garlic? A vial of Holy Water? I see none of them lying around. Just my luck.

“You have flies up your nose, my friend.” He says softly.

“I beg your pardon?”, I ask, taken aback.

“You are troubled. What is wrong?”

I smile wryly. “It’s no secret,” I tell him. “We’re losing. I’m failing. We’re in relegation form at the minute and I can’t turn it around.”

GieKSik considers this for a moment. I mean, I’m not great at reading the body language of vampiric sports mascots, but he does go quiet. “You’ve had some bad results, Franjo, but it is no use crying over sliced bread.”

I nod slowly. “You know, you really butchered that idiom, but I do appreciate what you’re trying to get at.”

He claps me on the shoulder. “Chin up”, he says slightly cheerily, before walking past me and rounding the corner. Feeling slightly confused, but slightly buoyed, I continue walking in the opposite direction towards our changing room. A weak smile creeps across my face.

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Tricky Janicki (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep68)

This is a ‘Do what I fucking pay you to do’ situation.

< Episode 67

“Let’s play a game shall we?” I ask the squad in the changing room. “This”, I gesture to the whiteboard sat on an easel next to me where my team is laid out in formation, “Is our starting 11 today. Nowak, Scheffel, Olivier, Wilson, Garbacik, Bart, Hurley, Amonike, Janga, Kevin, Goncerz.” I point to each of their names as I reel them off. We’re going with our 4-2-3-1 and the exact lineup that took a 2-0 lead against Bruk-Bet in the reverse fixture earlier in the season, before we came away with a slightly disappointing 2-2 draw.

“If we fail to win today”, I continue, “The 3 players who I deem to have played the worst will be… Out.” Wilson raises his hand.

“Out, Boss? Out of the side?” He asks.

“Out of the squad, Danny.” I reply. “If we do not come away with 3 points today, then 3 of you will be dropped.” The changing room starts buzzing with disgruntled murmurs. I raise my voice accordingly. “If we then do not come away from our next match with 3 points, then 3 more of you will be dropped. Etcetera. Understood?” I smile around at them. I know that I’m being a dick, and I know that this plan has the potential to backfire horrifically, but I honestly don’t know what else to do at this point.

“I’m not asking any of you to become Ruud Gullit. This isn’t a ‘If I take on the entire Bruk-Bet team and score, I’m safe’ situation. This is a ‘Do what I fucking pay you to do’ situation. Of course, the silver lining for anyone who does get dropped is that if we don’t get a win soon, we’ll be relegated, I’ll be sacked, and you’ll get a clean slate under your next Manager in the First Division. Good luck.” And with that I walk out of the stunned dressing room, through the tunnel and out into the dugout.

God, I hope that works. I need to assert my authority now more than ever. Aside from the fact that we haven’t won in 8 matches, I’m apparently the favourite to take over at Korona after they sacked Dariusz Wdowczyk. The stories of my departure have been doing the rounds this week, piling more uncertainty into a squad that’s already undeniably broken. It’s mildly flattering to be linked with them, but the way this 2nd half of the season has gone so far, I have my doubts that I’ll be staying in Poland beyond the end of the Season whether we go down or not.

Bruk-Bet get off to a flier when Budzyn hits a 25 yard free kick straight into the top corner. My heart sinks. The sensation’s becoming all too familiar. Budzyn comes close to doubling his tally less than 10 minutes later when he’s released by a Gutkovskis pass, but his shot comes back off the post.

After the half hour, Amonike swings a corner into the box. Janga gets up to direct a header towards the far corner of the goal, but Misal’s there to clear the ball off the line.

In the second half, we try to control the game, but we fail to fashion any decent chances. With 20 minutes to go, Kwarko and Tarnowski replace Amonike and Janga, and with 10 minutes remaining we go all out attack. We still create nothing until the 90th minute, when Goncerz finds himself with space on the left and has a shot, but the keeper makes a routine save. Bruk-Bet go straight up the other end, with Kiepura playing in Gutkovskis, but he skies his effort.

I follow through on my pre-match promise. Unsurprisingly, the 3 players that I deem to have played the worst are 3 attackers. Goncerz, Amonike and Janga are dropped. We have a 2 week gap before our trip to Piast, so that’s 2 weeks to figure out who’s going to come in for them. I eventually decide on Tarnowski up front, with Fossy behind him and Kwarko out on the right.

7 minutes in, the seemingly inevitable happens when Janicki’s free kick is cleared as far as Kurminowski. He gives it back to Janicki, who rifles the ball into the back of the net from the edge of the box.

20 minutes later, we have a corner on the left. Hurley swings in a good cross and Kwarko nods it down towards the near post. Danny Wilson’s there to blast it, but it’s blocked by the goalscorer Janicki, who’s stood on the goal line.

Right on the hour mark, we’re looking threatening. Scheffel splits Piast apart with a great through ball, which Tarnowski runs onto. He sprints through on goal but is forced onto his left foot by the back-peddling defenders and skews his shot wide. We go on the attack shortly afterwards and bring Kawot and Stryjek on for Kevin and Tarnowski. Kawot should give us more width as a natural left winger.

With just under quarter of an hour to play, we come forward again. Hurley dwells on the ball for too long though, and Piast counter attack. Niezgoda ends up with the ball and pokes it through for bloody Janicki, who buries it in the bottom right corner of our goal. I can’t say that I like Tricky Janicki all that much to be honest.

In the final couple of minutes we’re still coming forward, but Hurley loses the ball again, this time on the left wing. Piast counter once more, culminating in Kurminovski laying it off for Tricky Janicki. The bastard aims for the top left corner, but his shot flies just wide. The fact that he fails to bag his hat trick brings me a small but hollow moment of happiness.

We have 3 matches left of the league stage and we’re 6 points clear of 15th placed Korona. When the Relegation Group stage begins, every team’s points tally will be cut in half, meaning that we’re actually only 3 points clear. Ambitions of finishing in the top 8 are now a distant memory. Our new goal is picking up as many points as possible in order to avoid the second relegation of my career. We need to fix this before it’s too late.

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Turn The Tide (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep67)

Another loss here today would be catastrophic.

< Episode 66

“Here’s the thing,” I begin, pausing to take a drink of my unnecessarily strong Polish lager, “I’ve not taken any confidence whatsoever from the falling counter system. We’ve lost both of the matches that we’ve used it.” Dennis listens quietly, a worried look spread across his face. “The far more vexing thing at the minute though is that I’m genuinely losing faith in the players.” I continue. “I know they can play better. I know they can be better. But they just aren’t rising to the occasion.”

“It’s only been 2 matches though.” Dennis pipes up. “The players will get comfortable in the system given time.”

“We don’t have time though, Dennis. We need to stop losing. We need to pick up some points or we’re going to get dragged into a relegation scrap.” Dennis nods with reluctant acceptance. “Korona away is a must win game. They’re second bottom. We need to turn the tide. Another loss here today would be catastrophic.”

“It’d be a league record too”, he says quietly. “7 losses in a row.”

“Excellent, thanks.” I reply, covering my face with my hands in exasperation.

“With 6 in a row, we’ve already set a club record”, he continues, unhelpfully.

“Right, well I’d rather not go down in Lotto Ekstraklasa history as the guy who can’t stop fucking losing.” I snap. We both take a long drink.

“So what do we do?” Asks Dennis, breaking the silence.

“We catch Korona off guard.” I reply thoughtfully. “They stick religiously to their 4-4-2, so we go 3-5-2. We outnumber their strikers and midfielders and we dominate the game.”

After more scheming and more of that lager that I suspect might have been originally manufactured as a weapon, we settle on our team. A back 3 of Olivier, Hutton and Wilson, with Hutton playing a stopper role, Scheffel and Garbacik as the wing backs, Gregurina and Fossy playing in the midfield 3 either side of our full debutant Vladan Savanovic. Goncerz and Tarnowski are up front.

I signed Savanovic as a possible replacement for Baran when the young playmaker left at the start of the season, and I feel like now is as good a time as any to give him a try. He’s young, hungry and unpredictable. He might just give us that unknown factor that’ll secure the win against Korona.

3 minutes in, Tarnowski releases Scheffel down the right wing. Tom whips a cross straight into the box, and straight onto the boot of Goncerz, who simply helps the ball into the bottom corner. 1-0. We’re winning. We’re actually winning.

The rest of the half is awful, but I’m fine with it. We completely nullify Korona. The only downside is that Savanovic hasn’t really been in the game at all, so we’ll go more direct in an attempt to create chances without him. Fossy moves into the central midfield spot as a deep lying playmaker to facilitate the change.

Almost 15 minutes after the break, Korona do actually threaten. Rovcanin crosses from the left but it’s awkwardly behind Palanca, and his header reflects that. The ball flies well over. Suddenly though, the whistle blows. The referee comes sprinting over and points to the spot. I’m flabberghasted. What possible reason could he have for giving Korona a penalty? A quick, friendly chat with the 4th official reveals the decision was made because Alan Hutton shoved Mitsanski in the 6 yard box. Neither player was anywhere near the ball. It was just a random act of violence from our centre back. I hate everything again.

Palanca steps up to hit the penalty – And Nowak saves brilliantly to his left! You brilliant old bastard, Sebastien. Wilson clears the ball following the save, but Korona smell blood now. It comes straight back at us via a Markovic ball over the top. Rovcanin latches onto it on the left and shoots at the near post. The ball ripples the back of the net. I have no words. We go control.

With 20 minutes to go, Garbacik and Tarnowski are replaced by Kwarko and Stryjek as we try to push Korona back and snatch another goal, but to no avail.

With a couple of minutes still to play, Tomasevic plays the ball over the top of our defence down the left wing. Olivier gets to it first but is tripped by Mitsanski. The referee waves play on and my fists clench. The red mist is descending. Mitsanski is one on one with Nowak and shoots, but our veteran keeper saves brilliantly at the near post. I’m still incensed. The ref’s extraordinary eagle eyes didn’t catch that one, did they?

I have a pop at the officials in my post-match interview. We nearly went into the history books in a really shitty way thanks to that late decision not to award us a free kick for the foul on Olivier and I would’ve gone full on Mourinho if we had done.

Let’s move on swiftly though. We’ve dropped down to 14th. We’re 1 place and 5 points above the relegation zone. Górnik Zabrze visit us next and they’re 13th, on level points with us but with a much, much better goal difference. This is another match that we just can’t afford to lose.

We’re changing system again. The 3-5-2 was specifically for Korona as they play a 4-4-2 and I don’t want to go back to the falling counter, so we’re trying a 4-4-2 of our own. We’ll attack Zabrze, focus down the wings where we’ve got power and pace in Kwarko and Janga, pass into space and float crosses into the box for the aerially proficient duo of Stryjek and Goncerz. We’re the home side. We should have enough about us to win. This may be some of these players’ last chance.

The first half is predictably dull. Towards the end I instruct the wingers to hit early crosses in towards the strikers. But it’s not actually until after the hour mark that we see any action, when Goncerz plays a one-two with Stryjek and gets himself into the box, before forcing a good save from Bolten. Kevin comes on replacing Stryjek and heads out to the left wing, while Janga accompanies Goncerz up front.

With 15 minutes to go, Gregurina and Goncerz are also replaced by Hurley and Tarnowski. It so nearly pays off in the last couple of minutes when Hurley’s through ball finds Tarnowski in the box, but his shot comes back off the post. The match ends goalless.

The good thing about draws is that they’re not losses. The bad thing about drawing the matches we have done is that we were playing against teams that in my eyes we should have beaten. At least we can take solace in the fact that we’ve picked up a couple of points, but I really am losing patience with some members of the squad, and I might have to start mixing it up and bringing in some new faces to keep it fresh. Who knows, my job may depend on it.

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Welcome To GieKSa (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep66)

Today is the day of the annual youth candidate match.

< Meta-sode 65.5

Today is the day of the annual youth candidate match. After our recent unimpressive run, it’ll be a perfect palette cleanser and an opportunity for our latest band of young footballing wannabes to show me that they deserve to join the mighty GieKSa.

I’ve been told to pay particularly close attention to a number of players. Firstly, young right back Tomasz Jaworski. At 15 years old, it’s already clear that he’s a great athlete, a born leader, and that he’s as brave as a lion. That’s a very good recipe for an aspiring footballer.

Next, 15 year old left winger Filip Glen. He’s quick off the mark and full of tricks, with a decent cross to boot.

And finally, Michal Grzybek, a 16 year old striker. He’s pretty good with his feet and a decent athlete, but his real quality is his mental strength: He’s another born leader and is remarkably mature for his age.

As per usual, I let the members of my first team that need game time play for the Under 18’s, making it more of a B Team, so the youth candidates are in for a tough time.

Grzybek actually goes close early on when he breaks through the Katowice B Team, but he can only put his shot from a tight angle into the side netting.

Just after half time, Koj pushes Amonike in the area and gives away a penalty, and Gregurina steps up to confidently put the B Team in front. Machalski’s free kick is headed home by Krawczyk 15 minutes from time to give the Under 18’s a 2-0 victory, but I’m pretty impressed that the match was so close.

Interesting, that. I hope to be given reason to promote a few of the new lads to the first team over the next few months. Welcome to GieKSa, boys.

Anyway, back to first team news! Kevin’s earned himself a place in Team of the Week for his consolation goal against Cracovia.

But please hold your applause. Sit yourself back down, Kevin. We aren’t in this for personal glory. His accolade is meaningless because we’ve now lost 4 matches in a row. In an attempt to halt our recent decline, I’ll be trying out a new system at home against Lechia today: The gracefully named “Falling Counter” system. It’s essentially a variation on Project: Burnie MK II.

Our back 4 will stay the same personnel-wise but our full backs will be encouraged to fly up the wings on the overlap. A holding midfielder will be deployed just in front of the centre backs to offer stability to the side. Bart and Hurley will stay as the midfield duo, but Hurley will be given freedom to roam and to run into channels in the final third. Our front 3 will consist of Tarnoski, our right-of-centre attacking midfielder who will also run the channels, Kevin, our familiar left-sided inside forward, and Goncerz, the spearhead.

So the idea is that we’ll have a defensive triangle of Olivier, Wilson and Hutton, who I’ll be trying as a makeshift holding man, with Bart winning the ball in front of the 3 of them and starting counter attacks. Hurley and Tarnowski will get forward through the channels in support of Goncerz, with Kevin also cutting in providing support, while Scheffel and Abramowicz bomb up the wings, with strict instructions to stay as wide as possible, providing the width. They aren’t ideal candidates for this, but I reckon they’ve got enough about them to give it a go.

Annoyingly, Goncerz isn’t yet fit to play following the chest injury he picked up against Cracovia, so he won’t feature. Janga starts in his place, and will play behind Tarnoski.

The match never really gets going if I’m honest. Janga hits a long shot in the first 5 minutes that’s easy for Kuciak to catch. After 40 minutes we change to short passing and attempt to work the ball into the box.

With around 15 minutes to go, we go on the offensive. Kwarko and Fossy come on in straight swaps for Kevin and Hutton as we try to find the breakthrough. In the last 10 minutes though, the cost of my changes becomes clear. First, Jorge Diaz slams a shot against the bar, which I should have seen as a warning. Then, from a 91st minute Gajos corner, Kadlec heads home the winner. Nobody deserved to win this match. It’s so, so cruel.

The bad news, apart from the obvious, is that Hurley twisted his ankle in the last 5 minutes and will miss the next 2-3 weeks. The good news however, is that I was really quite impressed with Alan Hutton’s first ever (That I know of) performance as a holding man. He did a fine job, and I’ll be training him to play there.

OK, now we really need a win. Or a draw. Why didn’t I shut up shop and take the draw? Next up is a trip to our local rivals Zagłębie Sosnowiec. Gesundheit. Hurley’s injured, Goncerz is fit again, and let’s face it, Abramowicz is awful. Fossy, Goncerz and Garbacik come into the side. Hurley, Janga and Abramowicz are out.

With just over 10 minutes played, Fossy loses the ball in Sosnowiec’s half and they counter. Fast. A move that I might have found quite easy on the eye in other circumstances sees Makengo tee up Mystkowski, who chips the ball on for Mills, who volleys it deftly past Nowak. 0-1.

It’s another eventless match but nevertheless, we’re somehow on the back foot again. With half an hour to go, nothing has happened and I see nothing to convince me that we’ll turn it around without a change. Kwarko comes on for Kevin and we go attacking, and more direct.

5 minutes later, Tom Scheffel’s… Direct… pass is cut out, and Sosnowiec counter. Fast. Makengo’s glancing header from Pawlowski’s pacey cross is saved well by Nowak, but our keeper is left badly positioned a split second later when Mills passes the rebound into the empty net. 0-2.

Not even 3 minutes later, Goncerz loses the ball high up the pitch and Sosnowiec counter. Fast. Or they would do, but Mills is tripped just into our half by the already-tightrope-walking Bart. He receives his marching orders. I’m about ready to walk down the tunnel myself. Amonike comes on and will spray crosses towards the big men from deep on the right. Tarnowski comes off.

But then, 5 minutes from time, it clicks. I don’t know what it is, but it just clicks. Fossy’s chipped free kick comes back to him and he tries another cross. It evades the defence and Goncerz is there to help it past the keeper. And the linesman’s flag is up.

Sorry, did I say it clicks? I meant to say that I hate everything. I hate the linesman, I hate winter breaks, I hate wodka, and I hate Zagłębie bloody Sosnowiec. Goncerz does blast an injury time consolation goal in, but it’s too little, too late.

The new Cameroon boss, Yves Nounkeu, was in the stands today watching Olivier. Why anyone would travel from another continent to watch any of my defenders at the minute really is beyond me. We need radical change and we need it now.

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No Video Highlights For A While (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Meta-sode 65.5)

Because TECHNOLOGY!

< Episode 65

‘Ello,

Quick heads up that there’ll be no more video highlights for a while. I know that most of you just read the scintillating story and don’t watch them, but I thought I’d let you know anyway.

In case you’re interested, the reasons for this are that:

A) If you try to export highlights from a Mac (The save is on a Mac), it doesn’t work properly. The highlights are unwatchable and from what I’ve seen from the forums, this has been a bug ever since exporting highlights was introduced to the game.

B) Because of that, I’ve always sent the save to my PC to export the videos, but the poor old thing’s fallen on hard times recently and is currently incapable of doing certain things that I want it to do, such as exporting videos, powering on or being even remotely useful.

So yes, it’s broken. While my PC’s out of commission, there’ll be no video highlights. If I get it working though I’ll add them all retroactively.

Thanks for reading, have a great week.

Cheers,

Franjo

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Is This Good Enough? (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep65)

Nobody’s place is safe in my squad.

< Episode 64

So. Wisła Płock. It’s strange in a way watching them disembark from their team bus. If I’d answered the press differently about the rumours of me moving there over the winter break, maybe it’d be me getting off that bus. I’d be getting ready to play my first match, poetically at Stadion GKS Katowice. I stand by my decision to deny interest though. I might go as far as to say that they’ve got a marginally better squad, with players more used to playing in the Lotto Ekstraklasa, but my team is made up of players that I know, and for the most part, players that I’ve brought in. I trust my team and that’s not a thing that should be understated.

It’s snowing again as I make my way back inside and into the home changing room. We’ll line up with the extremely standard 4-2-3-1 that’s often served us so well this season, with no real surprises in terms of personnel. Nowak starts in net with Scheffel, Olivier, Wilson and Garbacik in front of him, Bart and Hurley in midfield, with Janga, Fossy and Kevin behind Goncerz.

10 minutes in, a hoofed goal kick flies into our half. Reca nods it on for Guinean striker José Kanté, who dribbles easily away from Bart and fires just wide.

A few minutes later, the 2 almost connect again when Reca swings a cross in from the left towards Kanté, but Olivier heads the ball clear. Fossy goes for the header but aerial prowess is not his strong suit. Wlazlo beats him in the air and heads it back to Kanté, who makes himself a yard of space and places the ball into the bottom left hand corner. We immediately try to get on the front foot and try to control the game. By the end of the first half, we’re full on attacking Płock, but we remain behind as the whistle blows to signal the break.

5 minutes after the restart, Reca plays the ball to Aurélio just inside our half. He dribbles forwards with purpose and gets to the edge of the box, before lashing a shot towards the bottom corner of our goal. Luckily, Nowak is on the ball and tips the ball behind. Zgrablic’s header from the resulting corner is wide.

I am growing concerned about our chances of not conceding a second though. Płock have had 3 good chances, all of which have involved them exploiting the space between our defence and midfield. I drop Bart back to a holding man position in an attempt to close that area off.

The response is almost immediate. We start a pretty clunky counter attack after a spell of possession for Płock breaks down. Kevin passes to Hurley, who chips the ball into the box first time for Janga. The young Dutchman takes it down as the keeper rushes out, and powers it past him into the back of the net. I feel my vindication blanket flop down onto my shoulders once again.

With 23 minutes to go, Płock are venturing into our half again. Wlazlo catches Olivier out with a pass in behind him, into the path of Kanté. Olivier recovers with an inch-perfect sliding tackle, but in doing so, knocks the ball straight back to Wlazlo, who smashes it in off the bar.

I bring on Kwarko and Tarnoski for Kevin and Goncerz to try to give us the physical advantage against Płock’s tiring defenders.

With 15 minutes to go though, our bottle seems to have gone. Aurélio drives the ball against the foot of the post, but the clock ticks away and the whistle blows, signalling a 1-2 loss.

We’ve now lost 3 on the bounce but 2 of them were against very good sides. Am I disappointed? Yeah, of course. Am I worried? Not really. We’ll sort ourselves out.

And who better to sort ourselves out against than Cracovia? I had low expectations at Stadion GKS Katowice, and we came away with a well deserved 4-0 win. Now we’ll go to their place and hopefully pick up another 3 points to end our miniature slump.

The good news is that Gregurina is back in full training. The bad news is that Tarnowski comes down with the flu just a couple of days before the match. I was considering giving him a start but he’s only fit enough for a place on the bench. Therefore, we go unchanged.

20 minutes in, Cracovia are retaining possession well, presumably to kill off any early “We can turn these over again” spirit we may start with. It’s the home side that get the first chance when Platek slips through Adamczyk, but his shot goes into the side netting.

Some worrying news comes in the 24th minute when Goncerz suffers a chest injury after a particularly rough challenge. He’s able to play on though, so he does.

Before the half hour mark, Jendrisek sprints away down the left wing, leaving Scheffel for dead. He gets to the byline and crosses into the centre, and Platek’s there to head it in. 0-1. We change mentality and try to control the game.

At half time, I sacrifice Fossy and bring on Kwarko, who moves to the right wing. This frees up Janga to move up front with Goncerz in a 4-2-4. He’ll play as a false 9 to try to link our midfield to Goncerz.

With not even a minute of the second half gone, Adamczyk releases Platek, who’s through on goal, but his shot comes back off the post.

The next 10 minutes are all Cracovia, and in the 54th minute, Forsell curls a brilliant 20 yard free kick over the wall and into the top corner. This will not do. We go attacking and we’ll try to be more fluid.

Just after the hour, Kevin plays a good ball into the centre of the pitch for Janga, who runs it to the edge of the area but shoots just wide.

A few minutes later, Adamczyk, one of the best performers today, feeds Nagy, but his shot is saved well by Nowak. We go fairly narrow to try to limit the number of through balls cutting through us, and we’ll close down slightly less to keep our shape.

With about 15 minutes to go, Goncerz plays a nice ball into the left channel for Kevin, who’s cutting inside. He toe pokes it into the far corner of the net, but as I’m in quite a critical mood, the keeper should have done better. In a final roll of the dice, Stryjek comes on for Janga, and will be the poacher while Mr. Link-up, Goncerz, will play as the target man. We go more direct as we’ve now got 2 big players up front.

I do bring Savanovic on for a late cameo, but we can’t turn the tide. Another match ends 1-2. I go into the changing room and wait silently while the players trudge in.

“In our last 4 competitive games, we’ve conceded 9 goals and scored 2”, I seethe. “Do you think that’s good enough?” I ask nobody in particular. No response. All eyes are on the changing room floor. “What’s so fucking exciting about that floor?” I snap, prompting the players to snap their heads up towards me. I turn to Tom Scheffel. “Is it good enough, Tom?”

“No, Boss”, he says monotonously. I turn on Grzegorz Goncerz.

“Is it good enough, Grzegorz?”

“No, Boss”, he echoes. I can sense that I’m getting through, but I need to make this hurt. I wheel around towards Hurley, Kevin and Olivier, who are sat side by side, looking nervous.

“What about you 3?” I demand. “I brought all of you here because I thought you could step up to this level and make this club better. Was I fucking daft?”

“No, boss”, they reply in unison. I turn back to address the room.

“IS. THIS. GOOD ENOUGH?!”

“NO, BOSS!” Comes the slightly more enthusiastic reply. The words echo against the tiles for a second or so.

“No, it’s fucking not.” I sigh, grabbing my trusty grey coat and walking out of the changing room. I don’t hear a single word as I stride down the corridor. I think I got through to them. My old manager at Worksop Town would be proud. Something tells me that spurring the players on won’t be enough though. I desperately need to make some changes, and as far as I’m concerned, from what I’ve seen lately, nobody’s place is safe in my squad.

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My First Winter Break (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep64)

I’m not a fan.

< Mini-sode 63.5

“Please can we take a break, Boss? We’re knackered.” Asks Alan Hutton, between deep, gasping breaths.

“What did Święty Mikołaj bring you, Alan?” I call.

“Eh?”

“What did you get for Christmas?”

“Oh. New boots, Boss.” He grins.

“Ah, very nice. Did you get 90% of them or did you get 100%?” Alan rolls his eyes. I suspect he knows where I’m going with this.

“100% Boss.”

“Right, well pay it forward, you lazy bastard! Give me 100%!” I’d been waiting for someone to ask to stop. I really wanted to use that line.

The lads are currently running cross country as a part of my winter high fitness training schedule, which should help carry us through until the end of the season. What certainly won’t help is all of the bloody useless friendlies against weaker opposition that we’ve got lined up.

Janga won’t be joining us for at least a month after straining his knee ligaments in the Legia match. He could be out for as many as 7 weeks, but other than that we’re all looking good.

2 Months Later…

This has been my 1st winter break. As a player, a fan, or a manager. I’ve got to say, I’m not a fan. Maybe it’s just that we’ve not done it properly. Maybe we should have arranged some kind of warm weather training camp, played a few top clubs to test ourselves, and that kind of thing. As it stands we’ve barely trained because we’ve had shit friendlies almost every other day. (I’ve realised that at some point I must have given responsibility for organising friendlies to Dennis for whatever reason, but I’ve made it abundantly clear that I’ll be arranging them in future). In short, it feels like we’ve just stagnated. We’ve had a massive amount of disruptive, small, niggling injuries throughout the squad but nothing serious. It’s just been quite a frustrating couple of months.

Sebastien Nowak tells me not long after the Legia match that he’s hanging up his boots at the end of the Season. I try to convince our vice-captain to reconsider, but his mind’s made up. He’s had a good career and I’ll try and get him to stay on as a coach, but we’ll deal with that at the end of the season.

I also have quite a few conversations with Carmine Gautieri, Manager of Verona, as his club once again pepper me with offers for Kamil Karwot, our promising left winger. They start with an insulting bid that could rise to just under £80k and I reject it without hesitation. They make another, slightly better bid, and as much as I try to negotiate, they never get close to my asking price. Their 3rd bid is accepted – By Wojciech Cygan, our Chairman. It could rise to £275k, but as I may have already mentioned, Chairmen who go over my head with transfers can fuck right off. I talk him into backing down. Their persistence eventually wears me down though and I negotiate the same deal I give all of the clubs that come around trying to poach our young players: £500k and 50% of his next fee. We finally agree a deal. Days later though, Karwot turns down the chance to join Verona and instead signs a contract extension, because he’s a bloody good lad. The Verona saga is finally over. Until the Summer, I’m guessing.

And then there’s the small matter of these friendlies that I’ve been bleating on about for so long. We win most of them, but I don’t learn anything. We don’t test ourselves. We don’t get anything out of them aside from match sharpness and that’s very frustrating.

Polonia Bytom:

Olimpia Zambrów:

KS Polkowice:

Liptovsky Mikulas:

Radomiak:

Siarka:

Widzew:

MKS Kluczbork:

Kisvárda:

Puszcza:

One of the most curious stories that pops up in Polish newspapers over the break is the one linking me with the vacant Wisła Płock job. When asked, I quickly distance myself from the story.

As we enter February, the transfer window opens, allowing promising winger Ari Tuovinen to finally complete his transfer from PKKU.

We don’t have the finances to do any more business, but I do allow Pawel Mandrysz to join Bruk-Bet on loan until the end of the season. It makes me feel slightly uneasy that a better club want him when I don’t, but he’s young and maybe some much needed game time will show me what he’s made of.

Stjepan Geng also wants to leave, and I have absolutely no objections to him doing so. He’s nice to have as a versatile backup, but I’ve barely needed him. I put him on the transfer list.

The final piece of “transfer” news is that Jakub Wilk decides that he’ll retire in June. In all honesty I had tried to release him from his contract just days before his decision, so I won’t lose any sleep over it. He strikes me as a player who never quite fulfilled his potential, and at this point he’s past the point of being able to do so.

As our match against Wisła Płock draws closer, Maciej Machalski and Rodrigo Silva both rule themselves out for 5-6 weeks and 3-4 weeks respectively through injury, but I doubt that either of them would’ve started anyway. We’ve got to put our best foot forward if we’re going to reach the top 8 by the end of the League stage. We’ll be going full strength. We’ll be fighting tooth and nail. I just hope it’ll be enough.

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Dennis Arranges Some Friendlies (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Mini-sode 63.5)

“I didn’t ask you to do that.”

2017/18 Fantasy Premier League (League Code 103559-27627)

< Episode 63

“…And so the penguin says: ‘Dude, he’s not an eggplant, he’s retarded!'” I raise my eyebrows expectantly at Radzinski, but he looks puzzled as he absent-mindedly rubs his glass with a cloth for seemingly no reason.

“I don’t get it.” He says blankly.

“Oh”, My face drops. “Because the penguin…”

At that moment, Dennis Lawrence pushes open the door to Radzinski’s, revealing the thick snow that’s settled outside. He steps in from the frigid cold to join us, looking extremely pleased with himself.

“I’ve done it!”, he exclaims triumphantly, waving a sheet of paper in his hand.

“Done what?” I enquire.

“Arranged our friendlies for the winter break!” He beams, offering me the piece of paper. Excitedly, I snatch the sheet and scan my eyes down the list of teams and dates. My face drops.

“Who are these?” I ask. Dennis looks taken aback.

“They’re… they’re our opposition.” He offers weakly.

“There’s a million of them… And these are all bloody Polish Second Division sides! Third tier sides! How are we meant to prepare against these? And come to think of it, why are you arranging the friendlies? I didn’t ask you to do that.” Dennis looks crestfallen as I barrage him with my scathing, negative logic. I continue to scan the page. “And here, look! 7 matches in 16 days? Are you insane?” I bat the sheet of paper with my hand and give it back to him. “And these are all confirmed, are they?” Dennis nods, avoiding eye contact. “Perfect.” With that, Dennis shuffles back out of the bar and into the snow as I glare after him.

After a short pause, I hear “Bit harsh.” In Radzinski’s gruff voice. I sigh.

“Yeah you’re probably right.” I acknowledge. “I’m going to see if I can catch him up, get him back in for a pint.” Radzinski smiles darkly. “Of beer. A pint of beer.” I clarify, narrowing my eyebrows and throwing back the dregs of my Polish lager. “Nobody wants draft wodka, you maniac. Watch the cats will you?” He nods. There’s not much to watch to be fair, they’re both curled up in one of the old booths with bellies full of wet food. They aren’t going anywhere.

“Piece of icing on the cake.” Radzinski says thoughtfully, as he gazes at Meatloaf and Burnie.

“Great, thanks.” I laugh, as I don my trusty grey coat.

As I open the door, I hear “Franjo”. I turn to see him still rubbing the glass with the cloth for seemingly no reason. Still staring vacantly at the cats. “Merry Christmas.” He mumbles.

“Merry Christmas, mate.” I smile. And with that I step out into the cold.

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Back To Reality (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep63)

God, it feels good to be King.

2017/18 Fantasy Premier League (League Code 103559-27627)

< Episode 62

God, it feels good to be King. I hope that doesn’t come across as big headed or anything, but I’m working wonders at Katowice. The press can’t believe it. Neither can the players, staff or board for that matter. To be fair, neither can I. We’re now unbeaten in 5 matches and edging closer and closer to a top 8 finish which would guarantee our survival.

Dependable right back Tom Scheffel, the possible future Cameroon International Olivier, Scotland’s forgotten man Danny Wilson and the quite enigmatic Grzegorz Goncerz all get a place in The Lotto Ekstraklasa team of the week after we thumped KGHM. God, it feels good to be King.

We welcome Lech to Stadion GKS Katowice today. At their place in August, they put 3 past us and missed a penalty in a performance that we all, especially Olivier, wanted to quickly forget. This time though, we’ll meet them in good form with our chests puffed out. We go unchanged, because why change a winning side?

The groundsmen have done a good job keeping the snow at bay before the match. It’s been falling heavily and settling across Katowice since yesterday and shows no signs of letting up before kick off, but the pitch is green for the most part.

20 minutes in, the party atmosphere that we’ve been cultivating in recent weeks comes to an abrupt end when Gumny’s floated far post cross is met by Jozwiak, who rises above Tom Scheffel to head the visitors in front.

Less than 10 minutes after the goal, Radut and Sacko press Kevin to win the ball from him. Our left winger has already had a frustrating afternoon thanks to Lech’s aggressive closing down and has picked up a booking, so his sliding lunge at Sacko is ill-advised, and not only because the grass is frozen solid. He goes straight through the Lech player from behind and thoroughly earns his 2nd yellow. I ignore Kevin as he trudges off the pitch and instead turn to one of my coaches. I instruct him to follow Kevin into the changing room and restrict his shower or bath to cold water only. Prick.

Anyway, there’s no point whining about it. Let’s try a narrow 4-2-2-1 formation, with Janga and Tarnowski playing off Goncerz.

We hold Lech off until half time, but not a minute more. Another fine Gumny cross just after the restart is put in at the far post by the unmarked Jevtic. 5 or so minutes later, Janga works himself an angle just outside the box and shoots low towards the corner, but Putnocky gathers it easily.

We have a free kick in a decent position a couple of minutes later, but it breaks down and Lech counter. Sacko gets to the byline and chips the ball into the centre, and Vázquez compounds my misery with a nice volley. We go attacking and I give our 2 full backs license to push up on the overlap.

Just after the hour, Janga squares the ball for Bart who shoots from 20 yards. Putnocky gets to the powerful shot but can’t hold onto it, and Goncerz nips in to bury the rebound. I look over to the linesman though, and sure enough, he’s stood there looking infuriatingly smug with his flag-arm outstretched.

Over the next 20 minutes I bring on Hutton, Fossy and Garbacik for Scheffel, Tarnowski and Abramowicz, but I think the lads realised long ago that it wasn’t going to be our day. Sacko does excellently to get clear down our right hand side with 5 minutes to play, but then makes the bizarre decision to shoot (And it was a shot) from a ridiculous angle way out on the right wing, sending the ball into the side netting.

It doesn’t lift my spirits much to see Bart put Goncerz through in injury time, as Putnocky makes another good save to deny him. The match ends 0-3.

It’s been one of those days. We faced a good side, didn’t put our chances away, and to be fair, got absolutely torn apart. It’s a reality check, definitely. Don’t forget who you are, Franjo. Don’t forget who you are, Katowice. Don’t forget what’s expected of you all.

There will be no palette cleanser though. No home tie against a league minnow. We’ll have to try to bounce back against the mighty Legia Warszawa Away. We beat them in a thoroughly satisfying match at the start of the season but they’ve since found form and propelled themselves up to the top of the league. Repeating our winning performance today will be a tough ask. Mind you, we’re only 7 points below them despite the fact that we’re down in 10th place.

Tom Scheffel’s yellow card against Lech was his 4th of the season, so he’ll be donning his suit in the stands along with Kevin as they serve their 1 match suspensions. Hutton and Kwarko will come in to replace them, but Kwarko will start on the right wing with Janga taking the left. Garbacik and Gregurina are also in for Abramowicz and Tarnowski as we revert to our slightly narrow, flank exploiting Project: Burnie MK II that beat these in Katowice.

20 minutes in, Trinks drives forward into our half. He then passes to Costinha, who runs to the edge of the box and shoots powerfully towards the top corner, but Nowak pulls a save right out of the top drawer to tip it over the bar.

Familiarly, our free kick breaks down a couple of minutes later and Legia counter. Well I say Legia counter, but it’s really only Trinks that counters, dribbling the length of the pitch before running into trouble just outside our box. He’s forced to pass to Ritzmaier, who slots it through for Szymanski, who slides the ball under Nowak. It’s a great goal.

As the second half arrives we go on the counter to try and stop Legia being able to counter quite as effectively, but 20 minutes after the restart, Szymanski swings a corner into our box. Rzezniczak barely has to move to lose Hurley, his marker, and nods the ball on towards the far post. Chatziisaias is waiting there, having barely had to move to lose Olivier, his marker, and he nods it in to double his team’s lead. Game over.

The introductions of Amonike and Tarnowski don’t help, and just to add insult to injury, or more accurately to add injury to a poor performance, Shurendo Janga comes off with 4 minutes to go with a potentially serious knee injury. Luckily he’ll have the whole winter break to shake it off.

Well, consider me brought back to reality. 2 comprehensive losses against 2 good sides will do that. I still maintain that a top 8 finish is within reach and that will continue to be my goal, but for now, as we enter my first Winter Break, I’ll look at the 8 point gap between us and Korona in the relegation zone and smile.

God, it feels good to be King.

Find me on:

Ziggy Plays The Ball (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep62)

Running good past Kevin and Hurley, for Jagiellonia.

2017/18 Fantasy Premier League (League Code 103559-27627)

< Episode 61

Humiliated. Found out. Out of their depth.

These are just some of the words and phrases used by the local media to describe GieKSa after Jagiellonia ripped us apart in our first Lotto Ekstraklasa match. But it was one thing defeating us in their own back yard, sweeping aside a shambolic thrown-together mix of half-fit players managed by a fresh faced and naive manager. Beating us again today will be a completely different proposition.

I went into our last match completely petrified. Scared stiff by the nagging worry that I had made the wrong decision. That my career was over. That I had put all my eggs in an extremely precarious basket. But GKS Katowice are no league’s whipping boys. We aren’t the cannon fodder we were expected to be. We are spirited and determined. We are strong and skilful. We have learned to be somewhat efficient, and our Portu-Polish side has become much more of a unit, as oppose to the 2 halves of a team that it was. We all speak decent Polish now. We have better quality depth in our squad. And most importantly, we’re all hungry for revenge.

Jagiellonia are having a decent season. They’re sat 1 place and 1 point above us, sitting in 9th with 21 points. Interestingly, with 15 games played, we’ve won 5, drawn 5 and lost 5. We go unchanged today.

To give Jagiellonia credit, one of their players has the best name I’ve ever seen. Their Scottish fullback, who I remember from his contribution in our first encounter, is brilliantly named Ziggy Gordon. What other name could remind you so succinctly and vividly of both David Bowie and Brian Blessed? Maybe Brian Bowie would, but it’s definitely not as good a name.

Ziggy plays the ball. Running good past Kevin and Hurley, for Jagiellonia. Crosses from the right, but crosses too far. Then Khomchenovskyi heads, but can’t get it in the net.

GORDON’S A LIVE… wire all through the first half (Sorry) and we’re kept pinned back a lot while he leads Jagiellonia forward from the right fullback spot. Indeed, with a couple of minutes to play before the break, he gets up and clips in a low cross towards Romanchuk and Guti. The ball reaches neither of them and instead deflects off Fossy and into our net. Luckily, both Romanchuk and Guti were stood in offside positions when Ziggy crossed the ball, and were deemed to be interfering with play enough for the goal to be chalked off. That was a huge stroke of luck.

At the break I tell my team to go back out and control the game. We’ve not looked like the home team so far and I’m well aware that our last encounter with Jagiellonia was 0-0 at the break, before we promptly lost 0-3.

In the first 15 minutes back on the pitch, Hurley chips a pass over the top of the defence and into the central channel for Goncerz. He takes it down and fires a venomous shot straight at Stachowiak, and the keeper tips it over.

I bring on Kwarko and Tarnowski in place of Janga and Fossy. Kwarko has become my go-to second half substitute to bully the tiring defenders with his immense physical presence, and Tarnowski tends to do quite well off the bench with his pace and intelligent runs.

A few minutes later, an exquisite passing move that includes most of Jagiellonia’s players culminates with Frankowski at the right byline. He crosses to the far post and Khomchenovskyi puts it away. I’m having flashbacks. It’s happening again.

As I said before though, we’re a better side now. We show our composure and refuse to instantly capitulate like we did last time. With 20 minutes to play, we go on the attack.

7 minutes later, Hurley plays a carbon copy of his earlier pass, over the top and into the central channel. Goncerz takes the ball down again and expertly holds it up, luring 2 defenders out of position before slipping in Tarnowski, who drives it home to equalise.

A couple of minutes later, we’re pushing for a winner. After a good move, Tarnowski plays a slick one-two with Goncerz and then slams home his second from the edge of the area, the brilliant bastard.

I bring on Gregurina for Kevin and shut up shop. We change to a 4-1-2-3, with Tarnowski playing as a just-left-of-centre attacking midfielder instead of a left winger, in case he fancies completing his hat trick. He doesn’t, but I couldn’t give less of a shit. We’ve held on. We’ve won. We’ve got our revenge.

Tarnowski’s fantastic cameo not only won him the player of the match award, but also a place in the Lotto Ekstraklasa team of the week, alongside Goncerz, who did my confidence in him the world of good with those 2 clever assists.

KGHM Zagłębie are next at their place. I don’t want to paint them as the worst team in the league, but in my defence they’ve done that themselves. After finishing 10th last season and being predicted to finish in the top 8 this season, they’ve lost 12 of their first 16 matches, drawing the other 4. Needless to say, I would be mortified to lose today.

We make 2 changes – Abramowicz comes in for Garbacik, who is suspended having picked up his 4th yellow card of the season against Jagiellonia, and Tarnowski comes in for Fossy as our number 10. He’s earned it.

We get off to a surprisingly quick start when 6 minutes in, a near post Tom Scheffel corner is nodded into the net by Danny Wilson. The Scotsman celebrates his first GieKSa goal passionately with the travelling fans. Well in, Danny.

2 minutes later, Abramowicz whips in another near post corner from the other side. Wilson gets there again and nods it across goal, but Janga’s subsequent header is cleared off the line by Uzelac.

That’s pretty much the only action we see in what is a dominant first half display. That is until Olivier is caught in possession on the right and robbed of the ball by Badía. Badía dribbles down the left wing and crosses to the near post, where Nespor is waiting to turn the ball in from close range.

There’s a sombre atmosphere in the changing room at half time, as is always the way when you concede just before the break, but a passionate plea to keep doing what they’ve been doing sends the players back out with smiles on their faces.

10 minutes later, we score a fucking beauty of a goal. Tom Scheffel stands over a free kick 35 yards out, and passes short to Olivier. The centre back turns and finds Bart, who plays it on first time for Janga, who plays it on first time for Goncerz on the edge of the box, who shapes his body and crashes the ball first time – In off the bar.

That goal really was a thing of beauty, and KGHM’s manager certainly seems shaken. So shaken in fact that he throws me a curveball with extra mustard. KGHM change to a flat 3-5-2 formation. As I watch their players take their new positions, my face scrunches up as I try to process what to do now. Weirdly, I suddenly realise that I’ve barely played against such a formation during my Managerial career and it poses us several problems.

The first and most imminently dangerous problem is that their strikers are now 2 on 2 with our centre backs. I like our 2 central defenders, but they’ve proven themselves susceptible to clever movement that pulls them out of position, coupled with runs in behind.

The next problem is that our central midfield duo is now outnumbered by 3 KGHM players, so we’ll be dominated in midfield.

And finally, our strike force of Goncerz and Tarnowski, because he is playing as more of a striker than a midfielder, are now outnumbered by 3 centre backs. The entire central column of the pitch belongs to KGHM and if I don’t act fast, they have the potential to turn this back around on us.

So I roll the dice and do something that I don’t think I’ve ever done before. I go with a back 3. Our 2 wingers Janga and Kevin come off and are replaced by Alan Hutton and Mario Gregurina. We change to a 3-5-2 as well, but with Scheffel and Abramowicz as wing backs. Hutton slots into the defensive line with Olivier and Wilson, Gregurina takes his place alongside Bart and Hurley in a formidable looking midfield trio, and Tarnowski joins Goncerz as a second orthodox striker. I’ve never played a back 3 before. I’m quite excited.

With 25 minutes to go, Gregurina plays a long ball into the left channel, and Goncerz does what he does, calmly placing the ball in front of Tarnowski to set him up with a great opportunity. Tarnowski takes a touch too many though, and by the time he shoots the keeper is off his line to close down the angle and block it. Promising signs nonetheless.

5 minutes later we’re still winning the battle of the 3-5-2’s. We break quickly following a half-hearted KGHM attack and Tarnowski chips a cross from the right wing towards the back post. Gregurina arrives and volleys it, but the keeper saves well. The rebound falls to Goncerz though, and with the keeper still stretched out on the floor, he has the whole goal to aim at. 3-1.

We go on the counter after that and KGHM have no response. I even have the luxury of bringing on young Stryjek for a bit of game time in place of Tarnowski. We see out the game with ease.

Our second half of the league stage begins with 2 wins. A few more and we’ll be flying towards the top 8 and away from the prospect of relegation. Oh, and who was watching from the stands today? Cameroon Boss Joseph Onana. We might be a player light come the next international break. Today was a good day.

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Tough Opposition (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep61)

The half way point of the first stage of our season is fast approaching.

< Meta-sode 60.5

I am blinded. I’m blinded by the lights, and I’m blinded by the pain. The ground is cold and unforgiving against my back. The sudden silence is broken only by the scurrying of feet across the turf towards me. This can’t be the end. Not now. Not like this.

I awake in a cold sweat. My heart is hammering in my chest and my left leg is aching. I feel sick. I’ve not had that dream in a long time. I hate that dream. I dread it. Dragging myself out of bed, I force myself to think of something else. To think of Katowice. The aching starts to fade.

The half way point of the first stage of our season is fast approaching. 13 out of the 30 matches have been played and the final 2 games before we start playing our 2nd round of matches are against 4th placed Górnick Łęczna and 2nd placed Pogoń Szczecin, both away. I’m obviously expecting 2 tough matches, but we’ll have plenty of preparation time for them as they’re the only 2 matches we’ve got in the remainder of November.

Surprisingly, Górnik aren’t in great form. They’re 4th, but they recently had 3 0-1 losses in a row, followed by a 0-0 against underperforming Wisła Kraków and a 1-0 win against Jagiellonia. We aren’t making many changes today, but we are absolutely dropping Project: Meatloaf in favour of our usual, less fluid 4-2-3-1. We learned the hard way last time out that this team is not currently equipped to play fluid football. We’re also bringing in Gregurina to replace Bart, who’s picked up 4 yellows – A one match suspension in this division.

10 minutes in, Olejarka stretches his legs and dribbles forward powerfully. He reaches the edge of our box and shoots, but the ball flies comfortably wide.

Kevin dribbles forward himself on the half hour and springs Amonike, who’s got himself goal side of his marker on the right. His shot’s tame though and straight into the arms of Berkovec.

It’s another scrappy and even match, and nothing much has happened by the time I make my 67th minute double sub, bringing Aaron Kwarko and Michal Tarnowski on for Amonike and Grzegorz Goncerz.

5 minutes later though, Spiaczka plays a pass over the top for Grzelczak, who places it past Nowak and into the bottom corner of the net. With not much time left, we need to put our game faces on. We go attacking.

It only takes a few minutes to claw our way back into the game. Fossy receives the ball from Tarnowski and plays a great pass over the top for Kwarko. The towering winger takes the ball down and pokes it under the keeper to equalise.

With momentum on our side, we keep attacking in the hopes that we can find a deciding goal, but with 5 minutes to go, Grzelczak plays a clever pass through our defence for Dzalamidze. His low shot is tipped behind by Nowak, and I take the hint. We go on the counter and take our point.

I’ll take that. Despite their poor form, Górnick Łęczna are a good side and we’re hardly in a position to turn our nose up at a point against the likes of them.

As we stare down the barrel of another international interruption in which not one of our players will participate, I arrange our first transfer of the upcoming February transfer window. 17 year old Finnish Under 19 International Ari Tuovinen will join us on a free when the window opens from Finnish amateur side PKKU. He’s an interesting little player; A very aggressive and lightning fast right winger with decent levels of fitness, flair and work rate. He needs to develop the technical side of his game a lot but I reckon I can mould him into a solid winger.

I use the International break as an opportunity to keep fitness levels high and make sure we don’t take our eyes off the ball. Premier League strugglers Fulham make the trip to Stadion GKS Katowice for a friendly match. We’ll be facing the Cottagers without Alan Hutton though, who’ll miss 2-3 weeks with a groin strain.

It’s a good match to be fair. Bart drills us ahead on the stroke of half time, but 2 late goals from Aluko and Woodrow turn it around for the away side.

It’s not the end of the world, that. The thing that frustrates me much more than Fulham’s second half turnaround is the sharp increase in medical attention that my squad requires during the build up to the Pogoń match. First, Kevin comes in with a strained neck, and will be out for 5-6 days. Then Tom Scheffel limps in dragging a dead leg, and he’ll be out for 1-2 days. Mario Gregurina strolls in with a bruised jaw and is out for 3-6 days, and finally Michal Tarnowski wanders in clutching his gashed head. He’s out for 1-2 days. I realise that all of these injuries could have been a lot more severe, but I do worry that a couple of the players won’t be back to full fitness for the weekend.

Pogoń are 4th in the league but could actually move up to the top if they beat us by 5 goals and other results go their way. There’s no doubt in my mind that they’ll be tough opposition but I’d rather they didn’t end the match as league leaders.

Bart comes back in after serving his suspension. He’ll replace Gregurina and will play next to Hurley, with Fossy deployed behind them as a deep lying playmaker. Janga also comes in on the right wing in place of Amonike. At some point I’m hoping that someone will stake a claim to be our nailed-on starting right winger, but until that happens you can call me Lazy Susan, because I’ll keep rotating.

The match is slow to start, and the first real chances comes 10 minutes before the break, when Olivier’s free kick bounces off the wall and back to him. He passes to Janga, who’s tripped by Sebastian Rudol on the edge of the box. We’re given another free kick, which Olivier hits wide, but more importantly Rudol sees his 2nd yellow and we’ll play against 10 men for the remaining 55 minutes.

Just minutes after the second half kicks off, Pogoń’s day goes from bad to worse when yet another Olivier free kick is chipped into the box from the left. Gregorz Goncerz goes for the ball but is shoved by Senic. No card’s shown this time but the referee points to the spot without hesitation.

Goncerz won the penalty and he steps up himself to take it. He runs up, smashes it towards the left, and the ball crashes in off the bar as the keeper dives the wrong way. We’ve taken the lead.

From that point on though, Pogoń seem galvanised and determined. Tuszynski leaves Wilson for dead as he sprints towards goal, only to thwack the ball wide of the near post. We go on the counter.

With 20 minutes to go, Danny Wilson makes a pig’s ear of clearing the ball after Augustyn’s cross, and can only get it away as far as Bargiel, who hits the ball over Nowak and into the back of the net.

We can’t let this match go without picking up 3 points. We’ve had a penalty against a 10 man team, we can’t fail to capitalise on good fortune like that. We change to an attacking 4-2-3-1, bringing off Fossy, replacing him with Kwarko, who moves onto the right wing and switches with Janga, who’ll run from deep positions to link up with Goncerz.

With 10 minutes to go, Kwarko squares the ball across the edge of the box for Goncerz. The striker takes aim for the top left corner, but his shot comes back off the bar. Amonike comes on for a late cameo, but the match ends 1-1.

Through gritted teeth, I’ll accept that result too. It is frustrating, don’t get me wrong, to fail to get the result against 10 men, but we just need to keep pressing on. We’re now at the half way point of the league stage, we’re well clear of relegation, and we’re close to the top 8. I’ll take that.

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Taking A Winter Break (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Meta-sode 60.5)

There’ll be no episodes next week

< Episode 60

EDIT: I apologise for anyone waiting on ep61, but my week long winter break is going to become a 2 week break! Please direct all aggression towards Dennis Lawrence, who took the liberty of scheduling 15,000 friendlies for me during the break (You’ll see). Anyway, sorry for the extra week, see you on the 21st!

So, what I didn’t really consider at the start of the season is that a Lotto Ekstraklasa season contains a rather large (2 Month) winter break. It’s taking a while to play through so there’ll be no episodes next week while I get everything sorted. We’ll come back strong next Monday (14th) and hopefully try to climb into the top 8 by the end of the season!

As always, thanks for your patience, thanks for your feedback and thanks so much for reading.

Cheers,

Franjo

Episode 61 >

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Give Me Strength (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep60)

Surely today’s the day that we turn it around.

< Episode 59

Andreja Prokic has left Katowice. “Who?” You may ask. Prokic was the left winger who I voiced my concern about shortly after arriving in Poland. He had a good pre season friendly where he set up 2 goals, before promptly injuring himself, and I’d be surprised if I’ve mentioned him since. He’s gone out on loan to Icelandic Premier League side KR for the remainder of the season after telling me that he wanted first team football.

Anyway, let’s talk about Piast. Piast were the other side to get promoted to the top division last season and are in front of us in the Lotto Ekstraklasa by a nose, sitting in 11th place on 16 points. We’re in 12th on 15 points, so this should be a close match between 2 evenly matched sides.

I’m told that Piast’s manager, Piotr Jawny, is a bit of a game player though. A bit of a shit stirrer. You know the type. And low and behold, he goes out in front of the press in the build up to our match and singles out veteran goalkeeper Nowak as GieKSa’s weak link.

Now, I’ll let a lot of things slide. Bragging, delusions of grandeur, even sometimes direct insults. But a lack of respect for a stalwart of the game is something that I will not stand by and watch. Piotr, you’ve pissed off a man that will hold a grudge at the drop of a hat, and you are going down. And Nowak will start in net. And I’m half considering doing that hilarious thing where I offer you my hand for a handshake, but then pull it back at the last second and run it through my hair instead. Prick.

Also, the only change we make is bringing Tarnowski in for Janga. The Janga plan worked last week but I want to see how Tarnowski does in that role.

An early chance goes Piast’s way when Janicki’s corner is nodded on by Polczak, before being glanced wide by Banasiak. 10 minutes later they’re still pressing forwards. Wilson fails to clear his lines after a cross and Bart clatters recklessly into the back of Kurminowski, giving away a spot kick. Bollocks. Wieteska’s penalty is pretty close to perfect, right into the bottom corner with plenty of power. Nowak, annoyingly, has no chance.

We have a chance to draw level on the half hour mark, when Amonike’s cross from the byline is met by Goncerz, but he hits his shot into the side netting.

I’m very used to our matches dying off for a bit before a frantic finish, but this one just sort of… Dies. We try to control, we try to attack, we use all 3 subs, but it’s a nothing match.

I said a few weeks ago that because of the congestion in the middle of the table, we could either climb or fall very quickly. As it turns out, we’re falling. We’re now in 12th place and my ideal finishing position (within reason) is 8th so that we’re safe from relegation. But surely today’s the day that we turn it around. Wisła Kraków are having an absolute shocker of a season. They we’re predicted to be in or around the race for the Europa League places, but as it stands they’re 15th, they’ve won 1 of their 12 matches and they have below half of our points tally. The only side doing worse than them are KGHM Zagłębie, who are yet to win this season.

I’m going off-menu for this one. We need to assert our dominance as the home side and as the favourites. Give me 4-2-3-1. Give me fluidity. Give me dreamies. Give me strength, we’re breaking out the fucking Meatloaf.

We start off on the front foot. 20 minutes in, Hurley passes to Goncerz, who squares the ball for Fossy. He’s been returned to his number 10 role today as we’re trying to play a nice brand of football that a tidy player like him can often help to facilitate. Fossy’s shot has power and precision, but a good diving save from Carlos keeps the scores level.

After half an hour, I’ve seen some warning signs, but in the 33rd minute, we collapse. Garbacik heads the ball needlessly to Mak, giving possession away. The ball goes to Llonch, who is closed down by Olivier, but also Scheffel. This leaves space for Vidémont to move into on the left. He receives the ball, at which point Olivier and Scheffel both abandon Llonch to chase him instead. Vidémont pokes the ball back through for Llonch, who side foots it past the keeper from close range.

I am incandescent with rage. Everything about our defending was wrong. I seem to remember similar teething problems after introducing Os Heróis to fluid football, but I won’t accept that 3 of our back 4 forgot the very basics of defending because I gave them slightly more freedom. What a fucking shambles.

But in for a penny, in for a pound. We’re going attacking but we’re staying fluid. There’s every chance that the rest of this match will be about us trying to break Kraków down while they cling to their precious goal, and we’ll be best off doing that with fluidity. Instantly, Amonike cuts in and hits a pot shot from 25 yards, but it goes just wide of the far post.

Just before the break, Malecki’s corner is curled into the 6 yard box, but Maaczynski heads the ball just over the bar.

The second half is just as frustrating as the first. Nothing interesting happens until Grzegorz Goncerz has to be brought off with a broken nose with just under half an hour to go. Michal Tarnowski replaces him up front and Shurendo Janga comes on for Fossy.

With quarter of an hour to go, I’m sat in my seat in the dugout with my notebook open, silently fuming. In a bid to finish the game off, Popovic plays the ball behind our defence for Ondrasek, who runs through on goal and shoots, but the ball clatters back off the far post.

A minute or so later, we’re finally stringing some passes together though. Tarnowski dribbles forward and feeds Janga in the area, who takes a touch, picks his spot, and buries the ball in the bottom corner. I leap out of my seat, sending my notebook flying through the air as I pump my fist. This match just got interesting.

5 minutes later, Hurley’s on the ball. He spreads it onto the left for Amonike, who turns inside and chips the ball into the centre – And Michal Tarnowski’s there to volley it left footed into the bottom corner. No time for fist pumping now. We fall right back. Mario Gregurina comes on for Kevin. We see the game out.

Well, we definitely made hard work of that, but a win is a win is a win. Tarnowski picks up the player of the match award despite only playing for 27 minutes, which should give you a good idea of the overall quality displayed by both sides. He scored one goal and set up another for fellow substitute Janga, and colour me impressed with both of them. Goncerz has yet to fully convince me that he deserves to be our undisputed striker, and I’m starting to wonder why it is that a couple of other first team regulars keep getting games too. These boys have both just done their chances of a run in the team the world of good.

Meta-sode 60.5 >

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Climb Or Fall (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep59)

We need to rack up all the points we can.

< Episode 58

The league table is starting to get extremely congested in the middle. We’re in 9th place on 14 points, a respectable tally. We could well climb above Bruk-Bet Termalica to 4th if we win our game in hand, which would be incredible, but we’re also only 2 points clear of 12th placed Cracovia, and only 4 clear of today’s opponents Korona Kielce, who are in 13th. My point is that we could climb or fall very very quickly in the next few matches, and we need to rack up all the points we can.

I’ll be making a few changes for the Korona game. I’m going to do something I never thought I’d do, and drop Olivier. It’s nothing against him, but I want to see if there’s anything to be gained by having an all-Scottish centre back pairing of Hutton and Wilson. I also bring in Fossy and Janga for Gregurina and Amonike. We’re at home and we’re going 4-2-3-1.

It doesn’t even take Cebula 5 minutes to unlock our defence with a through ball. Klups takes the ball and places it well into the far corner and we’re behind already. In the 12th minute things threaten to go from bad to worse when Klups dinks a free kick in from the left wing, but Arak’s near post header comes back off the angle.

Just after the half hour mark though, we’re put in our place. Klups crosses in again, this time from open play on the right wing, and Arak heads this one in. Changes must be made. I tell GieKSa to go control the tie and I tell Hurley individually to change from his deep lying quarterback role to his preferred attacking central midfield role.

As half time looms, my players start to push back. Fossy plays a direct ball to Goncerz on the edge of the area, and the brilliant bastard lobs the onrushing keeper to pull one back a couple of minutes before the break.

I encourage the lads at half time, sensing that spirit might be just enough to get a result today. It nearly pays off quickly. Fossy chips another ball to Goncerz and he shoots towards the near post, but Gostomski flings out his big gloved paw and bats the ball behind.

We go attacking, we go route one, I even throw Wilson up front as a makeshift target man towards the end, but apart from a Zubrowski shot that Nowak saves, the second half is drab and actionless.

In the spirit of not taking dropped points too hard, that was not the worst match I’ve seen. We were OK, but that first half hour when Korona played out of their skins killed us. Also, Goncerz was named in team of the week! His chipped goal was doing the rounds on social media too.

And also, remember in the final days of SC Angrense when I convinced Borba to pay for my National C license? I’ve kept it all a bit hush hush for the most part, but I just completed the course. I’m not sure if this is a good thing to announce 2 years into a Managerial career, but I finally have a professional coaching qualification!

OK, so let’s pick ourselves up and go again. Bruk-Bet Termalica away promises to be a tough game. We’re 11th and still only 3 points behind them in 7th, but they’ve won their last 4 games by a single goal and we’ve now picked up 1 win in our last 5 matches.

Olivier comes back in to partner Wilson at the expense of Alan Hutton, as we’ve picked up 4 points in the 2 games that those 2 have played together. I’m also trying something a little different going forward. Amonike plays on the right, Kevin on the left, and Janga in between them as an attacking midfielder. I’m sacrificing Fossy’s playmaking role in the hopes that Janga can link up with Goncerz and get some runs in behind the defence. Goncerz seems to really like holding the ball up and playing others in, so let’s lean into it.

We start off OK, but neither side is able to fashion any chances of quality. By time the first real chance comes for either team, there’s only 10 minutes to play before the break. Janga has the ball, he flicks it skilfully to Kevin and sets off sprinting into the box. Kevin finds him to complete the one-two, and Janga stabs the ball home for his first GieKSa goal. As I watch him peel away towards the travelling fans, I feel something soft and warm on my shoulders. The feeling wraps itself around my torso and arms, and then my entire body: Swaddling me from head to toe. It’s my Vindication Blanket. Hello, old friend.

We go on the counter attack after that, hoping that the trailing home side come out at us and leave gaps that we can exploit on the break.

5 minutes before half time, we have bodies forward following a free kick. Olivier lays the ball off for Garbacik and he rifles it in for 2-0.

Bruk-Bet come out swinging for the second half, though. Holownia swings in a perfect cross from the left wing, right in that awkward spot between defence and goalkeeper. Kiepura launches himself forwards to reach it and heads it home. I have to applaud that one, it was an all-round great goal.

About 10 minutes later, Gergel swings a corner in for Bruk-Bet. We’re right on the back foot so far since the break. Putivtsev gets his head to the ball and powers a header at goal. It’s going just wide until Hadascok glances it into the net. All square once more.

The game dies off once again. We bring on Kwarko and Tarnowski for Amonike and Goncerz, but can’t find the winner. I’ll take a draw there. It’s always disappointing to lose a 2 goal lead, but both sides deserved a point in the end.

On the other hand, that’s now 1 win from 6. 6 points from a possible 18. The league table is still congested in the middle, and we could find ourselves slipping further and further down towards the relegation spots unless we start to turn some of these draws into wins. It feels like we just need that extra 10%, to finish our chances and to stop the sloppy mistakes. I feel like I’m getting to know this squad well though. I’m getting to know their character and their ability. They’ll turn this around. I know they will.

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Gesundheit (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep58)

I jolt awake in bed. Shit, that was a dark one.

< Episode 57

Someone’s knocking at the door. At my office door. It’s a quiet, meek knocking, but it’s clearly audible, cutting through the thick silence that hangs in the air. I stand, stride over to the doorway, and wrench the door open to see little Ben Whitfield stood on the threshold, looking up at me with wide, terrified eyes. I tower at least 3 feet above him.

“Please, Franjo”, he whimpers, in his generic Southern English voice, “Please let me join GKS Katowice!”

Tears are welling in his eyes as he begs to join the tremendous GieKSa. We’re on top of the league with a 100% record, while Ben’s team, Zagłębie Sosnowiec, the team whose name sounds like an elaborate sneeze, have managed to be relegated 13 times this season already.

“I’m sorry”, he continues as his voice cracks and the tears begin to roll down his cheeks, “I never should have passed up the chance to work with such a great team, and such a world class manager. I was wrong!”

My right hand reaches slowly down to the nunchucks attached to my waist, and I meet Whitfield’s eyes. “Who do you play for again?” I purr.

Perplexed, Ben Whitfield answers “Zagłębie Sosnowiec”, and with my lightning fast reflexes, I grab the nunchucks and swing them at his head, knocking it clean off. His decapitated body slumps to the floor as I turn back to my desk.

“Gesundheit.” I quip, in sunglasses.

I jolt awake in bed. Shit, that was a dark one.

Shaking myself well and truly back to reality, I reassure myself that I did not actually decapitate Ben Whitfield, and that he will in fact be joining us today at the Stadion GKS Katowice as we take on Zagłębie Sosnowiec.

Contrary to my dreamtime beliefs, Zagłębie Sosnowiec have actually made a decent start to the season, sitting in 4th having won 4 and lost only 1 of their first 7 matches. Also, Ben Whitfield’s been a bloody revelation, scoring 4 and assisting 2 in his first 8.

Apart from bringing Hurley in for Fossy to accommodate a 4-1-2-3 formation, I wasn’t planning on making any changes from the previous game, but Alan Hutton is injured the day before the match and that forces my hand. Danny Wilson will partner Olivier today on his debut appearance.

Just over 10 minutes into the match, a Hurley corner starts a game of pinball in the Sosnowiec penalty box, and eventually it’s Kevin’s shot that’s deflected in off a defender to open the scoring.

In the 23rd minute, Ben Whitfield, who remember has not been the slightest bit decapitated, curls a corner in towards our near post. Makengo nods it on and Mills is waiting at the far post to get a shot away, but Garbacik gets a heroic block in, sending the ball out for a corner.

If that was a warning, I missed it. Only a couple of minutes later, another Whitfield corner is headed in at the near post by Mills to equalise.

To try and take a foothold back in the match and end Sosnowiec’s growing dominance, we start to retain the ball, which succeeds in the sense that nothing happens at all. For the rest of the match.

We go route one towards the end, throwing Fossy on for Gregurina to hit some good passes towards Kwarko, who comes on for Amonike, but to no avail.

I’m fine with a draw, I think. They’re a handy side. Plus, if we were to draw every game this season we’d probably survive. As long as we aren’t losing, I’m happy.

Górnik Zabrze are next at their place. They’re not enjoying quite as good a start as Zagłębie, or us for that matter. They’re sat in 14th having lost half of their 8 league matches and won only 1. We should have these! We go unchanged.

Unfortunately, and for all my optimism, we start poorly. Just after the 10 minute mark, it’s Arcon who turns in Grendel’s low cross to put Górnik Zabzre ahead.

We show some spirit though and about 5 minutes later, Adrian Garbacik stabs home the equaliser after Hurley’s corner is nodded down for him by Mario Gregurina.

At some point, I really need to sit down and have a good long think. I need to scratch my head and work out what it is about my management style, or system, or formation, or players, that makes it so that the 40 minutes leading up to the hour mark are so bloody uneventful.

Luckily, when something does happen just after 60 minutes have passed, it’s a GieKSa goal. Bart fires the ball down the right wing for Amonike, who whips in a good cross for Goncerz, and the big man heads us back in front.

With the lead back in our possession, I swap us to a defensive 4-1-4-1, keen to kill the game again. I bring on Fossy for Kevin and sit back to actually enjoy a dull half hour of time wasting.

Within 2 minutes, Mraz lays the ball back for Matuszek, who cracks a shot against the bar. 5 minutes later, it’s Mraz that’s pulling the strings again. He floats a cross to the far post and Konrad Nowak heads it into the side netting. This “killing the game” thing isn’t working as well as I’d hoped.

With about 15 minutes to go, Macierzynski equalises for Zabzre. My fist clenches involuntarily and my eyes narrow as I glare at nothing in particular. Throwing leads away is quickly growing tiresome.

In a considered risk, we swap to our 4-2-3-1, with Aaron Kwarko coming on in place of Bart and going to the right wing, while Amonike goes to the left and Fossy takes his place between them. It nearly pays off within 5 minutes when Goncerz’s floated cross is headed just wide by Kwarko.

The last 10 minutes is tense and frustrating, but as we enter injury time we win a corner, prompting a roar of encouragement from the 300-odd travelling fans. Amonike swings the ball in, and it’s cleared, but only as far as Fossy who’s stood just inside the area. Everyone in the stadium holds their breath as one as Fossy lets it bounce, picks his spot, and drills it into the bottom corner.

The final whistle blows. That’ll do, I think as I applaud the players, listen to the cheers and songs of our fans, and let the relief wash over me. It was a close game. Very close. But just then a thought occurs to me. Maybe I’ve not fully adapted back to Managing an underdog yet. Maybe I’ve expected too much from these players at times so far. Maybe I’ve not savoured the wins enough. Maybe I’ve taken too many of our dropped points to heart. We’ve already picked up enough wins to give me hope that we can beat the drop, so fuck it. I’m going to savour this one. The pizza’s on me tonight, lads. Dilly ding, dilly dong.

Episode 59 >

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Knock On Wood (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep57)

Everything’s coming up Franjo.

< Mini-sode 56.5

I’ve got to admit, August was a bloody great month. After a shaky July start to life in Poland, we picked up 9 points from a possible 12, including a win over the Champions and the thrashing of a pretty good team. I’ve been awarded 3rd place in the Manager of the Month award behind Lech’s Nenad Bjelic and Lechia’s Waldemar Fornalik, which is excellent. Everything’s coming up Franjo.

Anyway we kick off September with a visit to Wisła Płock, and having studied their start to the season, it seems that they play a very solid looking withdrawn 4-2-3-1 with defensive and wide midfielders. In most of the matches they’ve lost so far, their opponents lined up with a 4-2-3-1 with defensive midfielders, leaving Płock’s attacker and number 10 isolated and outnumbered. This makes sense, so I’ll do the same. I withdraw Hurley from the starting line up and bring Bart back in following his suspension to form a defensive midfield partnership with Mario Gregurina. Danny Wilson takes a seat on the bench.

In under 5 minutes, Reca’s low cross bounces off Olivier’s shin and Basca thumps the loose ball into the roof of the net.

We go on the counter after half an hour, and then on the attack after an hour, but both sides struggle to create quality chances. With 15 minutes to go, I bring on Kwarko and Hurley for Janga and Gregurina and tell the boys to be more direct. Hurley will add some good passes from deep and Kwarko will be a target to aim at further forward.

Thankfully, that does the trick. Hurley passes to Kevin, who puts a good ball into the path of Goncerz, who in turn slides the equaliser into the far bottom corner of the net.

I throw Amonike on for a cameo appearance, but the only other “decent” chance comes a couple of minutes later, when Szewczyk gets behind our defence and literally hits the corner flag with his shot. This has not been a great match.

I then get another one of those “Wow, I’m at a big club” reminders, as the International break actually disrupts our schedule. None of our players are internationals though, so we just get a 2 week rest.

Our next match is Lechia away. I had planned to bring Hurley back in and give Mandrysz another chance to impress on the right wing, but they both pick up knocks just a few days before the match. They’re still lacking fitness when I pick the team, so Gregurina stays in and Amonike makes his full GieKSa debut on the right.

Just over 10 minutes in, Goncerz lays the ball off for Bart, who drives it left footed from the edge of the area and into the bottom corner of the net.

We don’t get to hold the lead for long though. Only a few minutes later, Olivier fails to properly clear a Wolski cross and can only bobble the ball away as far as Gajos, who hammers it over Nowak and in.

Not uncommonly for one of our matches, everything dies down until just after the hour mark. I bring on Kwarko for Amonike, who’s been quiet today. I’ll put it down to the fact that he’s still settling in. Not long after the sub, Gregurina chips the ball onto the left wing. Kevin rises well and nods it perfectly onto Goncerz’s left foot, and he unleashes a thunderbastard of a volley – That smacks the top of the bar and balloons away.

With under 20 minutes to go, Kupisz lays the ball off for Kadlec, who lashes his low shot against the foot of the post. I decide to bring on Tarnowski to see if he can get another late goal, and Abramowicz as Garbacik has made a few mistakes today.

In the 82nd minute, the woodwork is struck once again when Takacs’ free kick cracks against the bar. This time though, Kadlec is there to follow up and puts the rebound away. I feel sick.

To add insult to injury, the goal goes down as a harsh own goal for Alan Hutton. If the ball touched him, it must have grazed his shorts and it was on target anyway.

The goal only spurs my boys on though. Straight from kick off, Tarnowski plays a good ball through for Kevin – Who hits the bar. Ever get the feeling that it’s not your day?

A couple of minutes later, Gajos’ ball over the top is nearly converted by Kadlec, but he puts it just wide. Gajos tries again instantly though, passing it through for Makuszewski, who rolls the ball into the bottom corner. GG WP, Lechia. For fucks sake.

Look, we’ve been here before. This isn’t new territory. “The Gods of Football blah, blah, blah”. We came close a few times to scoring more, but so did Lechia. In the end, they finished their chances, and although I think we played well, we didn’t finish ours. Today hurts. Luckily I know a place that serves pints of draft Wodka.

Episode 58 >

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Deadline Day – Summer 2018 (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Mini-sode 56.5)

Our squad is finally complete.

< Episode 56

It’s that bizarre time of year again. Marital aides are being removed from their drawers and taken down to football stadia with those select few fans that feel like spending their day standing behind journalists, looking half excited and half ashamed. Jim White’s fucking yellow tie has been clipped onto his collar, the colour merging with his fake tan to create a nice sunset effect. It’s a biannual international holiday when copious amounts of unjustified excitement is followed swiftly by disappointment, anger and reluctant acceptance.

Transfer deadline day is upon us, ladies and gentlemen.

We start off by shedding a piece of self entitled dead weight named Ryszard Baran. It’s Genoa in the end that stump up £500k and a promise of 50% of his next transfer fee, trumping the previous frontrunners Bologna. He has real potential so I’m happy that we’ll get a chunk of what might be a big future fee. It’s just a shame that the club was already about £1.5m in the red from inherited debt, so we’ll only see 25% of the cash, but it’s better than nothing.

Anyway, Baran’s got a bad attitude and I think we’ll be better off without him. I tell him as much actually, before he leaves. Ta ra, Ryszard. Don’t let the door hit you on your way out.

Our first incoming of the day is a possible replacement for Baran’s position in the squad. Vladan Savanovic signs on a free transfer, well, for £8k compensation, from a small Bosnian side called Vlasenica.

Vladan is an 18 year old Bosnian midfielder. He’s by no means the finished article, but he has potential. Good technique and leadership, along with great speed, balance and aggression are particular highlights.

My final incoming transfer of the window is a familiar face, but for once it’s not one of my former heróis. Danny Wilson puts pen to paper after being released by Glasgow Rangers in the Summer.

I’ve always been a fan of Danny, ever since he came through Rangers’ ranks as a youngster. In my opinion he took too big a step too quickly and paid a steep price. He’s not convinced since moving back North of the border in what many saw as his last chance, but I still think he can make it. He’s got everything a centre back needs: He’s determined as all hell, a great leader and defender, fine on the ball, tall and physically excellent.

The one drawback to this deal is that Danny’s agent insisted upon a £240k release fee for foreign clubs, but my thinking is that if he does well enough to make someone activate it, we’ll have had a solid defender and we’ll have made a profit.

“I’m recruiting so many Scottish warriors, it’s like I’m Braveheart, isn’t it Danny?” I ask enthusiastically in his first training session with the rest of the squad.

“Nae really” replies Danny Wilson, bluntly and without looking at me.

“Oh.” My face drops slightly. I turn to Alan Hutton. “What do you reckon Alan, I’m a bit like Braveheart aren’t I?”

“A wee bit, aye” replies Alan, who seems slightly annoyed by the question. I’ll take it.

The last deal of our window is for our promising young centre back and central midfielder Arkadiusz Pluta. I turn down a potential £140k offer from Brentford, which naturally pisses Pluta right off, so after a bit of haggling, Brentford become the 2nd team of the day to sign one of our young players for £500k and 50% of the next fee.

I don’t really mind. With Danny Wilson joining fellow scotsman Alan Hutton, the trusty Olivier and our regular left back Damian Garbacik, we’ve now got 4 players who’ll do good jobs at centre back if needed, so relieving our debt a bit more for a youngster I had no intention of playing is a no brainer.

And with that, the day is done. The Sky Sports camera crews all pack up and head home from their respective stadia, the marital aides go back in the drawer, the yellow tie is unclipped and Jim White is put back in frozen carbonite where he’ll remain until January.

The sun has set on deadline day, and our squad is finally complete.

Episode 57 >

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Bartbeat (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep56)

Today we take on Legia Warszawa. This should go swimmingly.

< Episode 55

Some might say “Franjo, could you leave SC Angrense alone now please?”

To those people I say that technically, Angrense released Amonike in the Summer and we’ve signed him on a free transfer, so I’m not exactly raiding them. Any more. They didn’t want him for some reason, and I do. Welcome back, my friend.

I’ve been vocally unhappy with my options on the wings since I joined Katowice, hence the signing of Kevin and the loan signings of Kwarko and Janga, but I see Kevin as a left inside forward, Kwarko as more of a late game destroyer substitute, and Janga as a utility squad player. I needed a first choice right winger, and hopefully, once he’s back to full fitness, Amonike will be just that for me once again.

Anyway, Amonike will get a place on the bench today as we take on Legia Warszawa. Our previous opponents Lech Poznań finished 2nd last season and are predicted to do the same again this year, but 3 guesses where Legia finished last season and where they’re predicted to finish again? Top of the bloody pile. This should go swimmingly.

Having done my homework on Legia, I’m seeing that they usually play quite narrow in a 4-2-3-1 with 3 central attacking midfielders. I’m quite pleased with this if I’m honest, because if we can just deny them space in the centre we might be able to nullify them entirely.

We’ll be going for our Project: Burnie MK II system again, which has become a standard flexible system in the past few weeks as oppose to the counter attacking system we tried to play against Jagiellonia Białystok. We’ll also be playing the same line up we played against Lech. I will be making a couple of crucial tweaks for this match though, considering Legia’s play style. We’ll be fairly narrow, restricting space in the middle, and we’ll exploit the flanks where they’re weakest.

The game starts with lightning pace. First Chukwu plays a good ball through for Costinha, whose low, central shot is saved by Nowak, then at the other end Goncerz plays a similar ball through for Hurley, and his considerably better shot has to be tipped behind by Majecki.

Then in the 6th minute, Jedrzejczyk’s cross into our box is headed clear by Alan Hutton. Janga gets to the ball on the right and plays it down the line for Goncerz, who surges forward as reinforcements arrive to his left. He dribbles forward and skips over a dangerous and malicious challenge from Hlousek, before swinging a cross to the far post. The ball hurtles towards Kevin, who decides not to go for goal, and instead uses his head to cushion the ball down for Bart, who lashes it on the half volley – Into the back of the fucking net.

I keep my poker face once again, as I don’t want to celebrate now and look daft in 10 minutes when we’re 1-4 down, but inside my heart is hammering and I’m fighting a losing battle trying to hold back the massive grin that’s appearing on my face.

A couple of minutes later, Scheffel swings a cross in from deep on the right and it falls perfectly for Hurley at the far post. He pokes a volley at goal, but it doesn’t have much power and Majecki keeps the ball out.

It all goes pleasingly quiet after that and we are indeed nullifying Legia, until 10 minutes before half time when Szymanski’s drilled cross is turned towards goal by Chukwu, but he hits the near post.

Before half time, Goncerz, who I’m beginning to think likes setting up chances way, way more than he likes scoring goals, plays the ball to Hurley, who drives forward to the edge of the area and shoots, but Majecki catches it with a degree of comfort.

Half time comes and goes, and as we pass the hour mark, not much else has happened. I stand up and catch Amonike’s eye. “Warm up mate”, I smile. We’ll bring him on for young Janga on the right. Except we won’t. Because before the ball goes out of play, before our substitution can occur, our goal scorer Bart, the beating heart of GKS Katowice, or Katowice’s Bartbeat if you will, trips Hämäläinen from behind. He was already booked in the first half and receives his second yellow for the trip. We’re down to 10 men.

I scramble, telling Amonike to sit back down and gesturing instead to Fossy and Machalski. Our central midfield duo come on replacing Janga and Kevin, the 2 wingers, and we’ll change to a flat 4-1-3-1 to make us as solid as possible. I also get the message out to go even narrower.

With quarter of an hour to go, we’re more than holding on. We’re pushing for a second! Goncerz again plays hurley through, but the midfielder’s shot is just wide. There’s a real partnership developing between these 2, I just wish Hurley would put a couple of these chances away.

We enter the final 10 minutes still relatively untroubled by Legia. With 8 minutes to go, Hurley plays a lofted ball forward and Goncerz takes it down and turns well. He tries to chip the ball towards the far top corner, but it goes just over the bar.

I don’t think I’ll forget today in a hurry. I love a good giant killing. The exhilaration when the ball hits the back of the net, the relief of the full time whistle. We’re really onto something now. This is starting to feel a little less Höllviken and a little more Angrense. Today was a very good day. The final score: Predicted title winners Legia Warszawa – 0, The 10 men of predicted cannon fodder GKS Katowice – 1.

And do you know what? I won’t forget Bart’s contribution today, nor will I begrudge him that second yellow. A journalist asks me immediately after the match if he’ll need to sit out of a couple of matches to learn his lesson, and I want to tell them not to be so fucking stupid.

It’s not him that makes the team of the week though, it’s Olivier! Aside from his off day against Lech, he’s adapted really well to his new league. He’s mainly been very solid, and of course, he played a big part in completely nullifying the champions.

So all we need is to keep spirits high, keep the players happy and try to build on this platfo… Oh bollocks, Baran wants to leave. So basically we’ve just received 2 bids: Up to £40k from Verona for our 16 year old left winger Kamil Karwot, which I reject, and up to £165k from Genoa for Ryszard Baran, our young and incredibly talented playmaker, which I also reject.

Instantly, Baran is banging on my office door, demanding he be allowed to move to Genoa. I tell him, very reasonably, that he can go if someone comes in with more money. In the next few days a bidding war erupts between Saint Etienne, Bologna, Cagliari and Bordeaux, and I allow Bologna to enter contract discussions as they bid the most: £400k and 50% of his next transfer fee. I’m not happy with this situation at all, Baran’s been a little brat about it, but we’ll just have to wait and see how that develops.

For now, Cracovia are my sole focus. They’re an upper mid-table side and call me crazy, but I reckon if we can turn Legia over then we turn these over too. As the home side we’ll return to our incredibly standard 4-2-3-1 and bring Fossy in for the suspended Bart.

Nearly a quarter of an hour in, Gregurina runs forward and sprays the ball out to Kevin on the left wing, and he crosses low to Goncerz on the edge of the box. Our selfless striker touches the ball straight on for Gregurina, who rifles the ball into the bottom corner for 1-0. What a start.

The rest of the half is cagey, not that I’m complaining. The second half begins tentatively too, and our first chance comes when Kevin chips the ball over the Cracovia defence and into the path of Goncerz. Goncerz dribbles out to the left hand side of the area before skimming a low cross into the centre, which Fossy converts from close range.

We’re 2 to the good! Against a pretty good team! I’m over the fucking moon! I consider belly bouncing Dennis, but think better of it.

10 minutes later, Kwarko and Amonike are on for Janga and Kevin, and we’re still playing the best football I’ve seen us play. An excellent passing move on the right hand side culminates with Fossy sending in a low cross from the right. A quick game of pinball begins as Osyra deflects the ball with his outstretched foot, sending it towards Goncerz, who’s only a few feet away from goal. Before it can reach him though, Kotula slides in with a perfect tackle but only succeeds in knocking the ball away as far as big Aaron Kwarko, who stabs in his first Katowice goal just minutes after coming on.

3-0! Bloody 3-0! We’re cruising! This is absolutely not what I expected from Cracovia. I expected them to take 1 point at the very least, but they’re rudderless. They’re helplessly throwing sandbags in front of their doors as the tidal wave of our fantastic football crashes into them. The gentlemanly thing to do would be to kill the game and take our 3 points without trying to humiliate Cracovia, but as far as I know gentlemanly conduct has never saved anyone from relegation, so we press on.

With a quarter of an hour to go, Fossy hits a hopeful ball forward from deep in our half. It falls to one of Cracovia’s centre backs, Kornel Osyra, but it falls awkwardly and he miscontrols it, knocking it backwards towards his own net. Goncerz runs through and collects the loose ball, takes aim, and smashes it against the bar. It bounces back and into the grateful arms of Sandomierski.

I decide to bring Goncerz off and replace him with Michel Tarnowski. Tarnowski hasn’t scored in 15 matches and today seems like the day to end that run, given Cracovia’s capitulation.

A couple of minutes later, Scheffel’s cross is cleared as far as Garbacik on the half way line. The left back thumps the ball straight back into the box, and as the defence snoozes Tarnowski acts quickly, losing his marker and nodding the ball over the onrushing keeper and into the net.

With a couple of minutes of the match to play, Cracovia’s Ferraresso attempts to justify his side’s decimation by getting himself sent off. “10 man Cracovia hammered 4-0” makes for a slightly less embarassing headline I suppose.

I don’t think that I’ve had a more satisfying victory in my short career. We were immense. Everything we did came off for us. Fossy, Tarnowski and Gregurina all got off the mark for the season and Kwarko got off the mark for Katowice full stop. What a bloody day.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to tilt my head back and pinch my nose to prepare for the inevitable nosebleed. We’re sat in 4th place in the Lotto Ekstraklasa.

Mini-sode 56.5 >

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GieKSik (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep55)

I see something that sends shockwaves of pure terror through my entire body.

< Episode 54

…NOW. And do you know why we’re starting now? Because we’re playing KGHM Zagłębie at home. They lost their first match too, 2-0 against Wisła Kraków, so they’re only 1 place above us in 15th. I know that league places are meaningless at this point but it’s still a bit of a confidence booster.

As I walk towards Stadion GKS Katowice’s home changing room, I get my instructions for the players ready in my mind. We’ll play an incredibly standard and flexible 4-2-3-1 and we’ll work the ball into the box. That’s all. No messing about.

As I turn the corner though, I see something that sends shockwaves of pure terror through my entire body. Walking towards me is a man. A huge, horrifying man, with skin as white as snow and lifeless eyes as wide as saucers. His jet black hair is slicked back and his mouth is wide open, the corners curled into an unsettling smile.

“Powodzenia”, says the scary man in a gruff, muffled voice. His lips don’t even move.

“Are you a vampire?” I ask quietly, as he really looks like a fucking vampire.

“I am GieKSik”, he replies, somewhat more chirpily but still muffled. He continues walking towards me until he’s very very close, and then stops, holding up his massive hand for a high 5. I don’t move. I stay perfectly still. He seems to get the message after a few seconds and I sense a touch of sarcasm in his gruff voice as he says “Well we could talk until the cows freeze over, but I have to go.” As he skirts around me he drops a business card into my suit jacket’s right pocket, before striding around the corner that I’ve just come from and out of sight.

Once I’m sure that the obvious vampire’s gone, I take out the business card and have a look. It reads:

“GieKSik

Maskotka GKS Katowice”

He’s a mascot. Of course he’s a bloody mascot. And of course I already knew that. And of course I wasn’t really scared.

Anyway, there’s a link to GieKSik’s Facebook page on the card too, because obviously. I make a mental note not to have a look later because I’d like to sleep tonight.

I walk into the changing room as the lads are chatting amongst themselves and announce in my boomiest voice “Right lads, thank you.” The room falls silent.

“Are you OK boss?” Asks Dennis Lawrence, a look of concern on his face.

“Fine thank you Dennis”, I reply.

“You’re all white, you look like you’ve seen a ghost”.

“No I don’t. Right then.”

“Can anyone smell piss?”

“RIGHT THEN, KGHM Zagłębie”, I boom, feeling the colour flood back to my cheeks.

The team that I name for this match is the same as the team that faced Jagiellonia, with the exception of Fossy replacing Rodrigo Silva and playing behind the striker. After relaying my minimal instructions and making my way to the dugout, the match begins. And it’s not a good one. The only first half action is an early shot from KGHM’s Vasilef which flies high and wide, followed by a quick game of pinball in their box which we’re unable to capitalise on.

The second half is no better, but as the match begins to wind down, I realise that I’m OK with it. Our first point on the board is not a thing to be sniffed at in our position. We might even move out of 16th place.

With 15 minutes to go, Bart finds himself with the ball in KGHM’s half and plays it out to Kevin, who’s cutting in from the left. He takes a touch, looks up, and drives the ball low into the far corner of the net.

Kevin is mobbed by his teammates, in particular his fellow former Heróis Hurley and Olivier, but he wriggles free and runs over to me in the dugout and I give him a high 5, as our resident scary bastard, GieKSik, watches on enviously in the background.

A couple of minutes later, Bart nearly makes it 2-0 when Goncerz lays the ball off for him, but his fizzing shot across the ground is just wide of the post.

Thank fuck for you, Kevin. I know that one swallow doesn’t make a Summer, but that goal gives us a bit of vital breathing room. From being mid-meltdown last week, we’ve now scored the first goal of my tenure, kept our first clean sheet, picked up our first points and our first win, and that is not bad for a day’s work.

So let’s keep this momentum going… Against the team that finished 2nd in the Lotto Ekstraklasa last season… And are predicted to do so again… Well let’s at least try. Lech Posnań have so far won 1 and lost 1 but as they’re favourites to beat us in the same way that the Death Star was the favourite to beat Alderaan, we’ll be playing a cautiously standard and flexible variation of Project: Burnie MK II, with Gregurina coming into the team in place of Fossy as a holding man, and Janga replacing Mandrysz on the right wing.

Less than 10 minutes in, Jevtic stings Nowak’s hands with a low drive, but the veteran keeper can only parry it as far as Jozwiak, who thankfully smacks the ball into the side netting.

A few minutes later Lech are dominating, and Mbemba plays a good long ball forward to Galán, who dribbles into our area – And is tripped by Olivier. My heart sinks. The referee puts his whistle to his lips and runs over, pointing to the spot.

Jevtic stands at the edge of the area as the ref blows his whistle again, and the attacking midfielder runs forward to hit the ball from the penalty spot. He places the ball low to the left – And Nowak goes with it, tipping it behind for a corner, the beautiful bastard.

Before the 20 minute mark, just as things are starting to turn our way, Olivier under hits a back-pass to Nowak. Hutton tries to get to the loose ball before Galán, but he’s not the quickest off the mark. Galán gets to it first and smashes it past our helpless keeper. Oh Olivier. Poor, sweet Olivier. Today is not your day, my friend.

Lech’s pressure does not let up. A couple of minutes after the opening goal, Mbemba dribbles forward and hits a hopeful shot well wide, and a few minutes after that, Jevtic’s free kick is shoved away by Nowak and Galán rifles the rebound against the post.

At half time, I tell Janga to position himself more centrally as he and Goncerz have been quiet so far, and I’m hoping having Janga as more of a secondary striker will bring both players into the game.

We start to drag ourselves back into the game after the break, and 10 minutes into the second half, Scheffel hits a good pass over the Lech defence and Goncerz runs through on goal, slotting the equaliser past Lis, the Lech keeper.

Spirits are high after that, but only temporarily. On the hour mark, Radut swings a free kick in from the left, Jach gets up above poor Olivier and directs what I would describe as a “Bobbling header” towards goal. It is utterly without pace, and Nowak should save it really, but he doesn’t. 1-2. I suppose the penalty save balances out that horrendous mistake though, so I’ll let him off.

5 minutes later, Baran and Fossy come on for Gregurina and Janga and we change to a fluid counter attacking system to try to catch Lech out again. It nearly pays off immediately when Hurley runs the ball into the box, but he puts his shot just over the bar.

With 10 minutes to go, Majewski swings a Lech corner to the near post. Galán nods it on, and their debutant centre back Valente is unmarked at the far post to head past Nowak. We go attacking, but the game’s over.

You know what? Fine. I’ll take that. On another day, Olivier is his usual solid self and doesn’t give away a penalty, under hit his backpass, or get beaten in the air for their second. On another day we keep our focus from that late set piece and mark Valente. We were no doubt beaten by the better side, and I have no problem with that, but on another day we might have scraped a draw. I can live with that result though. And I can live with 13th place too.

Although there is one thing that’s troubling me. Something that’s been eating away at me for the last week, actually.

Why does GieKSik need business cards?

Episode 56 >

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Going Dutch (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep54)

Today is a very good chance for us to pick up our first win.

< Episode 53

Well, our first match was a bit of a downer, I won’t lie. But what better way is there to raise spirits back up than with a couple of brand new exciting loan signings from big clubs? I have taken roughly 100 wingers on trial this Summer (I’m not even kidding) as we did still need reinforcements there, and to be honest, aside from Whitfield who we missed out on, the quality of the available players hasn’t been great, but we’ve signed 2 pretty promising young Dutch lads to bolster our ranks.

First to arrive is Vitesse’s Aaron Kwarko. I signed him for a few reasons, but mainly because he’s a… I don’t know if there’s a term for what he is, so I’m going to call him an Anti-Winger. Wingers are traditionally small and nippy, and burst past defenders purely through pace. Anti-Wingers are tall and strong, but still quick. They bully defenders and surge past them with power, and will be useful in a physical league like the Lotto Ekstraklasa. Kwarko is an excellent example of an Anti-Winger as he’s 6’5″, has good acceleration, speed and strength, as well as technique and crossing ability. He’s only 19 but he can be a different option to what we already have, and he’s also perfectly comfortable on either wing.

Our other signing is Feyenoord’s Shurendo Janga. He’s also a big lad at 6’2″ but prefers to play through the middle as a striker or attacking midfielder, although he’s also comfortable on either wing. At 20 he’s another young man and he has a good touch, good technique, and he’s quick, agile, skilful and strong. He’s got the makings of a very good player there.

Our next match is a Polish FA Cup match away at our First Division neighbours Rozwój Katowice. Today is a very good chance for us to pick up our first win, and it’s also a good chance to see what the rest of my squad can do. I’ll try my second string with Project: Meatloaf and see how they do.

Azevedo makes his debut in net, with Geng, Pluta, Abramowicz and Franczak in defence. Silva and Fossy start as our midfield duo, and Janga and Kwarko make their debuts either side of Baran, with Tarnowski up front.

My new signings are almost vindicated in the 12th minute when Janga drills the ball into the box low from the right. Kwarko collects it in the centre but drags his shot just wide of the mark.

On the 20 minute mark, the ball’s up the other end. Sobotka blasts a free kick from just outside our box, and it flies over the wall, past Délcio Azevedo and into the net. Bollocks.

At half time, I pace up and down in front of my team as they stare blankly back at me. I don’t know what words to use. And even if I did, I don’t know how to say them in Polish. I feel like this Country, this League, and this club are showing early signs of rejecting me like a transplanted kidney. The most frustrating part is that I’ve brought this on myself, playing the kids and reserves instead of the first team was a mistake. I should’ve known that.

I stop my pacing and turn to face the poor rabble, glaring at each of them in turn. I decide that the best course of action is to just open my mouth and let words happen.

“Bollocks! I’m a fucking kidney…” I blurt out. I feel myself go bright red. Did they understand that? A couple are smirking. This is awful. I lower my head into my hands. “Just… Just don’t… Just win!” I sigh in desperation, before walking shamefully out of the door and away from the room full of confused and demotivated footballers.

Shockingly, those footballers come out swinging for the 2nd half. Less than 2 minutes after the restart, Tarnowski plays the ball into the box for Kwarko, who places it first time past Slowik and into the net. What’s not shocking though is that the linesman’s flag was already up and we’re still 1-0 down. And in deep trouble.

On the hour, I decide to just stick to the original plan. I may as well give a couple more kids some game time. Kamil Karwot, a 16 year old left winger, and Mariusz Stryjek, the 17 year old striker who scored for us in pre season, replace Baran and Tarnowski.

But to be honest not a lot happens in the remaining half hour. Azevedo makes a good save from Zak, I beg the team to attack and even bring on Wilk as a makeshift second striker in place of one of our centre backs, but to no avail.

Listen, I know I fucked up by not playing my first team. I know I fucked up again by trying to solve the problem by bringing more youth players into the equation. But these are the stupid decisions that get made when you’re panicking, and I am absolutely panicking. This is feeling more like Höllviken with each passing day. I feel like I’ve turned up to the battle of Minas Tirith on the back of a 3 legged Shetland pony equipped with a pea shooter I got free with a copy of the Beano. And no peas.

But no more. No more will I let fear rule my decisions. No longer will I listen to Nuno’s voice saying “You fail, Inglês! You fail, Inglês!” as I fall asleep at night. Katowice will not become another black mark on my CV next to Höllviken. We’ve had a bad start, but we’ve punched above our weight before in Portugal and we’ll bloody well do it again here. Starting…

Episode 55 >

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Optimism (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep53)

I’m worried. Very worried.

< Mini-sode 52.5

Let me level with you. I’m worried. Very worried. There have been times this Summer when I’ve questioned my decision to join Katowice. Off the back of a hugely successful season with SC Angrense, maybe it would’ve been more sensible to take a job in the Slovenian or Czech 2nd tier. I could’ve taken over at one of the big hitting clubs in a division like that and maybe continued to build up my reputation with another promotion. Instead I took the biggest job I could find, and possibly the most difficult one too.

There’s every chance that this squad won’t cut the mustard in the Lotto Ekstraklasa and that I’ll be back on my arse in 6 months having been sacked, with GieKSa rooted to the foot of the table.

I’ll be back where I was 18 months ago, trying to convince anyone who’ll listen to take a punt on a Manager who’s effectively relegated 2 clubs.

But enough of that. Optimism is the way forward now. We line up against Jagiellonia in our new look Project: Burnie MK II, a simple counter attacking 4-1-2-3 system. Vice-captain Nowak will start in goal, with Scheffel, Hutton, Olivier and Garbacik in front of him. I’m giving Rodrigo Silva a chance in front of the defence too. It’s a risk, but his potential is excellent and I want to see if he’s ready. Bart and Hurley are our midfield partnership, Mandrysz will take the right wing while Kevin cuts in from the left, and Captain Goncerz leads the line.

We start on the front foot, and Goncerz shows a glimpse that he can fashion chances, holding the ball up well and playing it through for Hurley, whose shot is straight at Stachowiak, the Jagiellonia keeper.

The rest of the half is quiet but we start the second 45 promisingly too. Mandrysz plays a long ball over the Jagiellonia defence almost straight from kick off and Goncerz latches onto it, but he drags his shot wide of the far post.

Less than 10 minutes later, the deadlock is found. And not in the way that I’d hoped. Khomchenovskyi squares the ball from the left side of our penalty box and Jelic drills it past Nowak from close range.

5 minutes later, Khomchenovskyi’s corner is headed back to him and he crosses it in again. Cernych rises and heads the ball against the bar. I keep a poker face but this is a nightmare. The little momentum we’d built up from the chances we’d made has evaporated with the opening goal. We’ve gone all wobbly while Jagiellonia are growing in confidence.

2 minutes later, another Khomchenovskyi corner comes back to him and he crosses the ball back in to the far post. Gabacik swipes at the ball but can only clear it as far as Frankowski a few feet away, who puts it past Nowak for 2-0.

I tell the boys to attack and to play in a more structured way, but we’re getting battered. Less than 5 minutes after the second goal, Frankowski plays the ball in to Jelic in the area and luckily for us, he skies it.

I decide to just go for it. I withdraw Silva. I feel quite bad that I started him today in such a big game, I shouldn’t have put so much pressure on him. We go 4-2-3-1 and I bring on Machalski, an attacking midfielder, in Silva’s place.

A couple of minutes later though, Jagiellonia’s Scottish full back Ziggy Gordon swings a cross in from the right and Jelic volleys in his second. The match ends 0-3.

Huh. I don’t want to sound like an arse hole, but I’d sort of forgotten what this felt like. To be beaten so soundly. To be torn apart by a far superior team. If I had to guess, I’d say the last time this happened to me was the first time Angrense played Caldas.

It doesn’t feel good. I was worried before the match and I’m worried now. We offered up very little in terms of attacking threat or defensive solidity and in all honesty, Jagiellonia should’ve beaten us by 4 or 5. Our counter attacking was minimal. Our creativity was non-existant. We need to improve massively if we’re to survive this year. Or come to think of it, if I’m to survive past Christmas.

So the road to survival with GKS Katowice is indeed going to be long and gruelling. We’ve gotten off to the worst possible start and we’re already down at the foot of the table. Let’s hope we don’t stay there for too long.

Episode 54 >

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2018 World Cup – Russia (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Mini-sode 52.5)

Let’s take a second to talk about the 2018 World Cup.

< Episode 52

Let’s take a second to talk about the 2018 World Cup. I’d completely forgotten about it this Summer, what with everything else that’s been going on, but it seems like it’s been a pretty interesting tournament.

Italy were the biggest side not to even qualify after finishing 2nd in Group 7 of the European Qualifiers and getting knocked out of their play-off match by the Netherlands. The tie finished 4-3 on aggregate after the Netherlands turned it around with an impressive 3-0 win in the second leg.

England were the only side to qualify from the UK & Ireland, and promptly finished bottom of Group A below the Ivory Coast, Australia and host nation Russia, whose home advantage didn’t save them when Australia, who had an identical record to them in the group, were automatically chosen to proceed to the knockout stages at Russia’s expense.

There were some surprise faces in the Group Stage too. Uzbekistan, the Democratic Republic of Congo and Qatar all made it to Russia, but were all sent packing before the knockout stages began.

Without any other major surprises in the Group stage, the second round got underway. The USA, Spain, France (After extra time) and Portugal all progressed at the expense of Australia, Austria, Switzerland and our new resident nation Poland, while the 2 biggest South American nations, Brazil and Argentina, both went out against the Netherlands and Belgium respectively. Uruguay went one better than their neighbours, beating the Ivory Coast to progress to the quarter finals, but Belgium knocked them out too. Elsewhere in the quarters, Germany beat the Dutch, Spain knocked out the USA and France took a second extra time win in as many games against Portugal.

Germany got themselves past Belgium and France beat Spain to set up a tense final in Moscow, which France won on penalties despite Dimitri Payet’s 92nd minute red card.

So yeah, France are World Champions for the first time in 20 years. Man United’s Paul Pogba, who scored the champions’ only goal in the final, also won the competition’s Best Player award. Real Madrid’s 2017 £87M signing Eden Hazard and Chelsea’s N’Golo Kanté came 2nd and 3rd respectively.

The Best Young Player award went to Portugal’s and PSG’s Gonçalo Guedes, an extremely talented young man who scored 3 goals and set up another 3 in only 4 matches.

Thibaut Courtois won the Best Goalkeeper award despite his Belgium side conceding 11 goals in 7 games in a style that’s being described globally as “Classic Martinez”.

And Edinson Cavani won the Golden Boot with 4 goals, but ahead of Paul Pogba by virtue of playing fewer matches. Guedes was in 3rd place.

The Dream Team doesn’t hold many surprises given everything that I’ve just told you, apart from the fact that Guedes is only named on the bench. But then, he had some serious competition. 6 of the 8 defence and midfield spots are made up of French players: Djibril Sidibé, Samuel Umtiti, Laurent Koscielny, Paul Pogba, N’Golo Kanté and Antoine Griezmann. Raphaël Guerreiro of Portugal and Dortmund takes the other spot in defence, while Eden Hazard is the other man named in midfield. Courtois is in net of course, and Cavani is picked up front with his chompy compatriot Luis Suárez.

So that’s the 2018 World Cup then. Vive la France. I very, very nearly forgot to tell you about it but that’s just what happens when you spend half your Summer on the phone to your bastard of an ex-Chairman, and the other half getting peer-pressured into drinking pints of draft Wodka in the pub below your flat.

Episode 53 >

Find me on:

2017/18 Fantasy Premier League (League Code 103559-27627)

Pre Season 2018/19 (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep52)

I want to bring in my Heróis.

Start from the start with Episode 1

< Mini-sode 51.5

Do you remember Stefan Andersson? I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t. Stefan was a Swedish youth player that I signed for FC Höllviken. He played pretty well at centre back considering his age (16 at the time) and I subsequently moved to make him my first signing at SC Angrense. Sadly, he never managed to break into the first team there, putting in fairly solid performances for the U19’s but not really making a case for a call up to the senior squad. He was released by Os Heróis this summer and snapped up by Sporting Ideal, a PT Championship side.

Anyway, I mention Stefan because he was the only player that I managed to bring with me from Sweden to Portugal. He was the only one that wanted to step up with me and take on a fresh challenge. This time I intend to do better. I want to bring the players I know and trust along for the ride. I want to bring in my Heróis.

30/6/2018

I get the ball rolling just a couple of days after my arrival, moving quickly to bring in Angrense youth squad’s best player, Rodrigo Silva. Considering the money I now have at my disposal, the holding midfielder is a snip at £2.5k and becomes my first Katowice signing.

1/7/2018

The next day I’m on the phone to Borba again. Never one to hold out for a good fee for any of his players, he snaps my hand off when I put £18k on the table for Hurley. This deal won’t be tied up so quickly though: Hurley will take a few days to decide whether he wants to leave his home nation for the first time.

2/7/2018

I’m not really a patient man though, so while my main transfer target has a think, I wrap up a deal for Délcio Azevedo. He’d been released by Angrense and although Nowak will be my first choice Goalkeeper, Azevedo provides a solid and trusted alternative.

3/7/2018

My first knockback comes the day after when my £16k bid for my former side’s promising striker Renato Silva is accepted, but the man himself tells me that he has no interest in relocating. I’m disappointed as we could do with a good young striker, but I wish him well all the same.

4/7/2018

Then comes the big one. I ring Borba once again and offer a whopping £75k for Cristiano Magina. And my old employer rejects it. You bastard, Miguel. You horse’s arse. The only explanation I can think of is that for some reason his balls had been in the drawer of the desk in my old office all this time, and whilst rummaging around for spare change and forgotten possessions that day, he’d stumbled across and reattached them. This isn’t over.

But it is for now while I focus on our first pre season friendly against Frydek-Mistek, a Czech second division side. My inherited star striker Grzegorz Goncerz goes all out to prove that we don’t need CM9 and has an insane match, scoring 4 goals including a penalty, missing another penalty and getting injured. Food for thought there at least.

6/7/2018

But anyway, if I’m gutting my beloved Angrense’s squad I may as well do it properly. An £18k bid for Kevin is lodged and accepted as we desperately need quality on the wings. Like Hurley, he’ll think about it. This isn’t going very well, is it.

7/7/2018

On the 7th comes our second pre-season friendly against Hungarian Division III side BKV Elöre. Goncerz sits the game out after his knock against Frydek-Mistek but we still come out with the win with goals from battling midfielder Mario Gregurina and 17 year old 6’4″ striker Mariusz Stryjek. Left winger Andreja Prokic shows some promise by providing the assists for both goals, before promptly getting injured for 2 months with shin splints.

Oh, but who’s this waiting at our training facility when we return from Hungary? It’s free agent Olivier, recently released by Angrense and here to run lovingly back into my arms. We desperately need central defenders and I can’t think of anyone that I’d rather bring in to fill one of those roles.

8/7/2017

The day after the first friendly is a big day. 2 big blows land with the news that firstly, Cristiano Magina does not want to join Katowice following my improved £90k offer, but then Renato Silva gets his wish of staying in Portugal by joining Nacional da Madeira for a fee rising to just under £17k.

I also get knocked back after a monumental £425k bid for Everton’s versatile and transfer listed forward Dominic Calvert-Lewin is accepted. I’m willing to offer a lot in an attempt to convince him to join us, but in the end he takes the biscuit. As glad as I would’ve been to bring in someone of his quality, versatility and potential, I’m not paying him 3 or 4 times as much as anyone else in the squad.

So you might be thinking that the 8th of July 2018 has been a bad day for us… But has it?

Gonçalo Reyes is in the building, ladies and gentlemen.

#WitamyHurley

9/7/2018

Another blow today. My £22k bid for the new Elano, Jeferson Paulista, is accepted but the Brazilian knocks me back, saying that he’s only been with Angrense for a few months and doesn’t want to move straight on.

10/7/2018

Another friendly arrives and we take on another Czech second division side, Olomouc – Holice. Worryingly, it’s quite an even game, but Goncerz is back in the side to grab us a draw.

13/7/2018

DCL has moved, but not to us. Barnsley have picked up a fine player there, but in the end it’s probably a good thing I didn’t blow the whole budget on him isn’t it.

Our fourth friendly pits us against Odra Opole, a Polish second division side, in our 4th consecutive away friendly match. This time, young secondary striker Michael Tarnowski gets the only goal and secures the win.

14/7/2018

The good news is that Kevin has arrived! Perhaps swayed by Hurley, Olivier, Rodrigo and Délcio, perhaps not, but my God it’s good to have him. Our front line suddenly looks a lot, lot better.

The bad news is that Kevin’s arrival has prompted an uncomfortable line of questioning from our Chairman Wojciech Cygan, who hired me under a couple of assumptions: That I would save GieKSa from relegation, that I would keep our Director of Football, Dariusz Motala, in place, and that I would sign high profile players. So far I’ve only signed 5 players from a former Portuguese Championship side, so he’s not best pleased.

We need a ringer. We need a big name. A superstar that’ll sell shirts and set Polish tongues wagging. It’s safe to assume that we don’t have the pulling power or financial backing to attract a World Class name like Messi, Ronaldo or Neymar, so who’s on the next level down? The just-about-World-Class players like Aguero and Kane are out of reach too. So are the incredibly good players. And the really good players. And the fairly good players. And the pretty decent players.

Oh shit, who can we actually attract?

16/7/2018

If there’s one thing that I’ve always said about Alan Hutton, it’s that he’s a real class act. A hard working, no nonsense, old fashioned defender. And that’s what we really need isn’t it. In many ways, I think I’d turn down the opportunity to sign one of these up-their-own-arse mercenaries like Sissoko or Lukaku. I’d say: “No way Romelu, I need someone who’s willing to rip out his own heart and throw it in front of the ball to save us a goal if he needs to. I need a professional. A solid, dependable Glaswegian who’ll lead by example and kick seven bells out of far more skilful players in order to scrape us a point.”

So yes, I’ve brought in the man known in some circles as “The Scottish Tony Hibbert”. And the good news is that the signing of a former Tottenham and Aston Villa stalwart has appeased Wojciech’s thirst for star power.

The bad news is that at 33 years old and at a price of £43k, Wojciech doesn’t seem to see value for money in the Hutton deal. There’s no pleasing some people is there?

Our final friendly is the only one that I actually arranged and it’s going to be great. My first time overseeing a match in our home stadium, Stadion GKS Katowice, and we’re taking on David Moyes’ Premier League Sunderland side. Overall, I come away extremely pleased. In what turns out to be a very even match, Victor Anichebe opens the scoring on the hour, but Goncerz gets the decisive equaliser 7 minutes from time.

17/7/2018

Fresh from what I am adamant is a massive success for the club, I lodge a loan bid with Bournemouth for Ben Whitfield, a skilful, nippy and versatile young winger that’s spent pre-season on trial with us and impressed.

19/7/2018

While we wait for Ben to decide whether he wants to join us, I go out and bring in another familiar face to our U18’s backroom staff. Maybe my decision is partly driven by sentiment, but a lifelong hero of mine, Leon Osman, has a great deal of potential as a youth coach so I bring him in.

21/7/2018

Ben Whitfield is flying to Poland! To join Zagłebie Sosnowiec, our local rivals. He’ll regret that when we come up against Zagłebie and Alan Hutton starts breaking ankles.

Behind the scenes, I’ve also completely revamped Katowice’s backroom team from this:

To this:

I’m not done on the transfer front, although we’re almost out of funds. We’ve got our trusty backup Goalie, we’ve got both of our centre backs (If Hutton can hold his own there against Sunderland he should be fine in the Lotto Ekstraklasa), we’ve got Hurley, who can provide the passes while Bart does the midfield dirty work, and we’ve got Kevin in on the left wing. So we only really need another winger and a backup striker. I’m lining up a couple of loan signings to provide the finishing touches, but they’ll have to wait. It’s time to start our League Campaign, and we begin our Season against Jagiellonia, who qualified for the Europa League last Season.

Here we go, GieKSa.

Mini-sode 52.5 >

Find me on:

2017/18 Fantasy Premier League (League Code 103559-27627)

Lotto Ekstraklasa 101 (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Mini-sode 51.5)

Meet the teams that form our new League

< Episode 51

You’ve met my new assistant. You’ve met our new club. You’ve met our new squad. Now meet the teams that form our new League, the Polish 1st tier, Lotto Ekstraklasa (LE).

Bruk-Bet Termalica Nieciecza

From: Nieciecza

Ground: Nieciecza

Last Season: 14th in LE

Predicted: 11th

Rivals in Lotto Ekstraklasa: N/A

Cracovia

From: Krakow

Ground: Cracovia Stadium

Last Season: 5th in LE

Predicted: 7th

Rivals in Lotto Ekstraklasa: Wisła Kraków (Fierce, Local), Legia (Historic)

GKS Katowice (Us):

From: Katowice

Ground: Stadion GKS Katowice

Last Season: 2nd in First Division, Promoted

Predicted: 16th

Rivals in Lotto Ekstraklasa: Wisła Krakow, Legia, Zagłębie Sosnowiec (Local)

Górnik Łęczna

From: Lublin

Ground: Arena Lublin

Last Season: 9th in LE

Predicted: 10th

Rivals in Lotto Ekstraklasa: N/A

Górnik Zabrze

From: Zabrze

Ground: Ernesta Pohla

Last Season: 11th in LE

Predicted: 15th

Rivals in Lotto Ekstraklasa: Legia (Fierce), Piast

Jagiellonia Białystok

From: Białystok

Ground: Białystok City Stadium

Last Season: 3rd in LE

Predicted: 4th

Rivals in Lotto Ekstraklasa: Legia (Historic)

KGHM Zagłębie Lubin

From: Lubin

Ground: Stadion Zagłebia

Last Season: 10th in LE

Predicted: 8th

Rivals in Lotto Ekstraklasa: N/A

Korona Kielce

From: Kielce

Ground: Kolporter Arena

Last Season: 13th in LE

Predicted: 13th

Rivals in Lotto Ekstraklasa: Wisła Kraków (Competitive), Legia (Historic)

Lech Poznań

From: Poznań

Ground: Inea

Last Season: 2nd in LE

Predicted: 2nd

Rivals in Lotto Ekstraklasa: Legia (Fierce, Historic), Pogoń (Historic), Lechia (Historic), Wisła Kraków (Historic)

Lechia Gdańsk

From: Gdańsk

Ground: Energa Gdańsk

Last Season: 4th in LE

Predicted: 3rd

Rivals in Lotto Ekstraklasa: N/A

Legia Warszawa

From: Warszawa

Ground: Józef Piłudski City Stadium

Last Season: 1st in LE

Predicted: 1st

Rivals in Lotto Ekstraklasa: Lech (Historic), Wisła Kraków (Historic)

Piast Gliwice

From: Gliwice

Ground: Stadion Piast

Last Season: 1st in First Division, Promoted

Predicted: 12th

Rivals in Lotto Ekstraklasa: Górnik Zabrze (Local), GKS Katowice (Local)

Pogoń Szczecin

From: Szczecin

Ground: Floriana Krygiera

Last Season: 8th in LE

Predicted: 5th

Rivals in Lotto Ekstraklasa: Cracovia, Lech, Zagłębie Sosnowiec

Wisła Kraków

From: Krakow

Ground: Henryk Reyman City Stadium

Last Season: 6th in LE

Predicted: 6th

Rivals in Lotto Ekstraklasa: Cracovia (Local), Legia (Competitive)

Wisła Płock

From: Płock

Ground: Kazimierza Gorskiego

Last Season: 7th in LE

Predicted: 9th

Rivals in Lotto Ekstraklasa: Legia (Local)

Zagłębie Sosnowiec

From: Katowice

Ground: Stadion Ludowy

Last Season: 12th in LE

Predicted: 14th

Rivals in Lotto Ekstraklasa: Pogoń (Fierce), GKS Katowice (Fierce, Local), Górnik Zabrze (Fierce, Local), Cracovia (Fierce), Lech (Fierce), Wisła Kraków (Fierce), Piast (Fierce, Local)

The League rules are not all that different to what we’ve become used to in the PT Championship, although for the first time our squad is restricted to no more than 2 non-EU players in the starting lineup. That shouldn’t be a problem though as we don’t currently have any players from outside Europe.

Anyway, there are 16 teams in the Lotto Ekstraklasa who play each other twice, which is 30 matches. The top 8 teams qualify for the Championship Group and the bottom 8 go into the Relegation Group. Seem familiar?

In both the Championship and Relegation Groups, all teams start with all of their stats from the first Stage, like goal difference, goals scored, conceded etc. All teams also start with 50% of the points they’ve accrued. Apart from that it’s very simple: The bottom 2 teams in the Relegation Group are relegated, the top side in the Championship Group qualifies for the Champions League and the next 2 sides qualify for the Europa League.

So that’s all you need to know about the Lotto Ekstraklasa. It’s a big step up and avoiding relegation will be massive ask, but with the right additions anything can happen… Right?

Episode 52 >

Find me on:

2017/18 Fantasy Premier League (League Code 103559-27627)

A New Challenge (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep51)

Without further ado, allow me to introduce you to GKS Katowice.

< Mini-sode 50.5.5.5.5.5

It seems like an age since I left the Angrense training ground, and it feels good to tie up the laces on my boots and get my feet back on soft grass. Today, as I watch my new club’s first training session alongside my newly appointed assistant Dennis Lawrence, the excitement and optimism that comes with a new challenge is steadily building.

Without further ado, allow me to introduce you to GKS Katowice.

Górnicky Klub Sportowy (Miners Sporting Club) Katowice are a 54 year old club also known as GieKSa. We’re based unsurprisingly in Katowice, a city in the South West of Poland. We’ve not won a trophy since 2006, a record that would be nice to break, but the more pressing matter this season will be survival. After scraping promotion thanks to a goal difference 2 higher than 3rd place Wisła Puławy, we’re now comfortable favourites to drop straight back down.

As I did when I arrived in Hero Creek, I’ve chosen a preliminary starting XI so that I can see what we have and where we need to improve. Here’s our team as it stands:

Goalkeeper – No. 82 – Sebastian Nowak

Sebastian is currently our best option in net, but it remains to be seen how long that perception lasts. He’s 36 years old and could decline pretty quickly. He might already be declining, I’m not too sure, but I’ll be keeping a close eye on him. Still, he’s 6’6″, solid, determined, and a good leader. He is predictably quite slow though.

Right Back – No. 2 – Tom Scheffel

Tom is seen by many as one of the best players in my new side. He’s German, he’s incredibly rounded and determined, difficult to get past at 6’2″ and he’s got plenty of time to develop at 23 years old. I have high hopes.

Centre Back – No. 5 – Damian Garbacik

Damian is probably our best centre back currently, and that’s not so much a compliment on his ability as it is an inditement on our lack of natural centre backs. I intend to play him as he’s a very good player, but I’d rather play him as a defensive left full back. Anyway, he’s strong, good in the air, another sizeable defender at 6’1″, and another with plenty of development to do at just 22 years old.

Centre Back – No. 3 – Dawid Abramowicz

As I said, we’re short on natural centre backs. Dawid looks like he will provide very solid cover at both full back positions. He’s in his prime at 27, another tall drink of water at 6’1″, and he’s a long throw specialist which is interesting. Oh yes, and he’s well rounded. Have I ever mentioned that I like that in a player?

Left Back – No. 12 – Stjepan Geng

Stjepan is most likely going to play second fiddle to Tom Scheffel at right back, but he’s another versatile player and can play at either full back spot or in the centre of midfield. He’s Croatian, a good age at 25, by far the shortest player I’ve mentioned so far at 5’9″, but mentally he’s pretty good. His decision making and leadership are particularly impressive.

Central Midfield – No. 6 – Bartlomiej Kalinkowski

There is no doubt in my mind that Bartlomiej will be the beating heart of my Katowice side. He has absolutely everything that I look for in a central midfielder. He’s a great age at 23, a great height at 6’0″, extremely rounded and mentally excellent. In particular he’s a determined, hard working team player that reads the game well and positions himself brilliantly. My hopes are very high for this lad and I’m excited to work with him. To be perfectly honest though, I’m not exactly pumped at the prospect of writing the name Bartlomiej Kalinkowski over and over again, so say hello to Bart.

Central Midfield – No. 13 – Mario Gregurina

In Mario, we have another Croatian player and another very well rounded midfielder. He’s got experience at 30 years old which will help with our fairly young team, he’s 5’11”, and another hard working and athletic team player. He’s maybe a little bit too similar to Bart though, so he may end up providing backup to him.

Right Wing – No. 16 – Pawel Mandrysz

No offence to Pawel or either of the next 2 players, but this is where we come a bit unstuck. Pawel’s certainly versatile and young enough to improve, but I just don’t think he’s ready for this league. He’s shorter than a lot of the lads at 5’9″, which is fine for a winger, and what he lacks in technical skill he makes up for in his mental and and athletic prowess. He’s pretty aggressive, determined, hard working and quick, so he may still play a part.

Attacking Midfield – No. 8 – Tomasz Foszmanczyk

Tomasz is a decent playmaker, and probably my current first choice for the number 10 position, but we also have a couple of promising young players who might push for his place. The thing that will work in Tomasz’s favour is his brilliant versatility. He’s able to play off either wing, behind the striker, in central midfield or even in front of the back 4, so I’ve no doubt he’ll get a fair bit of game time. He also has plenty of experience at 31, and is pretty short at 5’7″. Similarly to Bart, I don’t want to commit myself to writing his name too often, so I’ve taken the liberty of naming him Fossy.

Left Wing – No. 17 – Andreja Prokic

Prokic is another that I think may be a couple of levels behind the kind of quality we need. He’s a 5’10”, 29 year old Serbian and he could be a decent option on either wing. At least he’s built in the right mould: His determination, speed and stamina might be handy, as well as his flair.

Striker – No. 7 – Grzegorz Goncerz

If we’re to make any kind of push for safety this season, Goncerz will be crucial. He’s very, very similar to Cristiano Magina. A pretty good age at 31, can take care of himself at 6’1″, and he’s extremely rounded with great all round mental attributes and good balance and finishing.

So I think we’ll all be pretty much on the same page now. We need 2 new centre backs and 2 new wingers. We absolutely need them. A good back up Goalie would be nice too in case Nowak shows signs of being past it. We’re well stocked in terms of full backs and battling central midfielders but we could also do with a good backup striker. If I’m still rolling in cash after buying that lot, I may also go in for a better attacking mid, but as I say, we’ve got a couple of young players that could break through in that position. We have up to £1.1 Million to sort out our team, which compared to the sort of budget I’m used to makes us Multi-Billionaires.

I think I’ve got some work to do.

Mini-sode 51.5 >

Find me on:

2017/18 Fantasy Premier League (League Code 103559-27627)

Who To Choose (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Mini-sode 50.5.5.5.5.5)

I put the word out shortly after arriving in Poland that I would be looking for a new Assistant Manager

< Mini-sode 50.5.5.5.5

I let out a sigh as I sit in my new, extremely plush GKS Katowice Manager’s office, in my new, extremely comfortable office chair. I need to think, and to think I need to move. I stand and pace across the room, glancing out of the window to see the sun setting behind the training pitch that my new office looks out upon.

After discovering that pacing isn’t really helping, I sit back down at my desk, interlocking my fingers in front of my mouth. I stare down at the 6 pieces of paper laid in front of me. Shortly after arriving in Poland, I put the word out that I would be looking for a new Assistant Manager, and 6 eager applicants have thrown their names into the ring. I have no idea which one to choose. And the really interesting thing, the thing that makes me realise what a drastic step up I’ve made in taking this job, is that I’ve heard of them. I’ve heard of all of them. And although I respected most of them as footballers, I remain unconvinced with their non-playing prospects.

Option number 1 is everybody’s favourite dreadlocked, goggle wearing Dutch maestro, Edgar Davids. Now, I had a great deal of respect for Edgar when he was playing, and I respected his decision to drop down the English ladder to try to start a Managerial career at Barnet, but… I heard things about Davids’ stint down there. Things like he wouldn’t attend matches that required him to spend the night in a hotel. Things like when he was Player-Manager, he (As a central midfielder) took the number 1 shirt in order to try and “Start a trend”. I need to find someone who’s 100% committed to being my second in command, and I need someone who doesn’t arse about. Davids is out.

Could that someone be Peter Enckelman instead? A Finnish former reserve goalkeeper who most notably “played” for the likes of Aston Villa and Cardiff City? A solid pair of hands he may be, but I feel slightly uneasy about my right hand man having amassed only 150 appearances over a 20 year playing career. Where’s your ambition, Peter? No, I don’t think so.

Next up we have Brede Hangeland, of Fulham fame. Now here’s a man who I’m fairly sure has the commitment, bravery, and brick-shithouseness required to run through walls for his employers. In another life I might’ve hired him, but I would like somebody with a little more experience than he currently has. Sorry Brede.

Option number 4 is Emile Heskey.

Number 5 is Paul Konchesky, the journeyman left back who represented some decent teams like Charlton and Leicester, but I’m not entirely comfortable with the idea of him either. I have no doubt that he’d try his best and if I was looking for a coach I might’ve given him a shot, but an assistant manager? I don’t see it.

Finally, option number 6 is John Arne Riise. Another left back, and another former Fulham player. If I wanted to hire someone to play on my behalf in some sort of free-kick-off, then absolutely I’d hire him. The man had one of the most vicious left foots that I’ve ever seen. But an assistant manager? Again, he doesn’t really have any experience to speak of and I’d like someone more qualified. It’s a no for Riise.

So, I think as I place the final application on the “No” pile, Out of 6 candidates, I… I don’t really want any of them. Where does that leave me? It leaves me grabbing the application forms and heading down to Radzinski’s for a drink.

As I walk through the door into my new and extremely local watering hole, I see something unexpected. I see another Patron at the bar, nursing a beer. I knew that bastard Radzinski had beer. Beer man turns towards the sound of the creaking door and sees me, and I see him. And I recognise him. I’m not sure why, but I definitely recognise him.

As I sit at the bar, Radzinski appears behind it, and after a bit of an argument he begrudgingly pours me a beer. I start talking to beer man, only to find out that he’s Dennis Lawrence, former Swansea player and Wigan and Everton Coach. He most recently had a poor spell as Trinidad and Tobago Manager. He’s been in the country for an interview and has wound up drowning his sorrows right below my new flat. That’s got to be a sign, right?

“Look”, I begin, as I sway slightly on my stool, “I need an assistant. Come work for me. I need someone with your experience.” Dennis delightedly accepts and I hire him on the spot. And I wasn’t lying, he really does tick all the boxes for me: He’s a good coach, he has experience in good quality leagues, albeit under a poor quality manager, and he has international experience as both a player and Manager. In short, he has everything that I’m missing. Plus he doesn’t have that unsettling “Wildcard” characteristic that Davids and Riise do.

I ceremoniously burn the 6 application forms right there on the bar, prompting Radzinski’s lip to curl with disdain once again, but it’s not like this place can get any more beaten up, is it? Mind you, these sudden acts of reckless spontaneity could just be the effect that 2 pints of Polish beer has on normal unsuspecting lightweights like me.

Either way, with my number 2 in position, I think I’m ready to meet my squad.

Episode 51 >

Find me on:

2017/18 Fantasy Premier League (League Code 103559-27627)

No. 1, Radzinski’s (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Mini-sode 50.5.5.5.5)

The place is dark, dingy and deserted.

< Mini-sode 50.5.5.5

Night has fallen by the time my plane touches down. Thick droplets of rain hammer against the window as I attempt to make out the outside world. I can see bright lights of some kind, but they’re distorted through a wall of water. I walk out of the arrivals gate at Katowice International Airport to see a line of individuals holding signs that bare names, just like in the films. I scan across them: “Dean” … “Campbell” … “Mendes” … “Franjo”. Ah, here we are.

Upon spotting my greeter, my first impression is that he’s quite a scrawny man. Short, thin and he looks like a good gust of wind would knock him clean over. His face though heavily resembles some kind of cartoon rodent, maybe a Biker Mouse from Mars. His features are pointed and sharp, except for his ears that are large, round and protruding. One of them has 3 hooped ear rings clinging to his ample lobe. But his most distinguishing feature is a messy black goatee, flecked with strands of pure white.

As he watches me approach, his eyes narrow and his lip curls with disdain, as if I’m strutting all over his new carpet in wellies that I use exclusively to kick around animal faecal matter.

“Cześć!” I announce enthusiastically as I get nearer to the sign man. Cześć, as I understand, is ‘Hello’ in Polish. Never accuse me of being unadaptable. Although it is currently the only word that I’ve learned. Without uttering any sort of reply, sign man turns and shuffles away, dropping his sign on the floor. I quicken my step slightly to make up the ground between us, picking up the sign as I go.

We exit the airport and climb into a small black car. I squeeze into the passenger seat while sign man gets behind the wheel. He turns the key in the ignition, and with a cough and a splutter from the engine, we shudder out of the parking bay and out of the airport car park.

A good half an hour of uncomfortable silence later, we pull up outside a cosy looking hotel on a quiet road. This is the hotel in which I’ve arranged to stay and it looks very nice indeed. The only part of it that I don’t like is the sign on the door, that google translate tells me reads “Closed For Refurbishment”. Not ideal, is it.

I get back into the car and ask sign man to take me to a bar where I can take out my frustration and fatigue on some Polish beer, while I find another place to stay.

We pull up a short while later outside a small, grubby pub, with a large battered sign over the door that reads “Radzinski’s”. I step out of sign man’s car, and as soon as the door closes, the car’s engine starts up and sign man drives away around the corner, leaving me quite alone.

I make my way inside Radzinski’s to find that I am still very much alone. There are no rowdy patrons. There is no bartender endlessly rubbing a glass with a cloth for no reason. The place is dark, dingy and deserted. Is every building in this City closed for fucking refurbishment or something?

But seeing as I am still alone in a new city with nowhere to go, I take a seat on one of the barstools. I then turn around to have a proper look at the rest of the establishment. There’s a pool table in the corner that looks like it’s had a pint or two spilled on it at some point. Lining the wall are several booths that presumably provided quite comfortable seating at some point, but now the tables are scratched up and the seats are ripped and stained. Against the far wall is a dart board, and I can tell that it’s been there for a while. The black sections have faded massively, while the white sections have collected decades worth of dirt and grime, meaning that the once clear alternating pattern is now just a big greyish circular mass. The red and green bits have been similarly affected, and now form solid purpley-brown bands across across the aged board.

I sigh as I turn back around, and nearly leap out of my skin when I notice sign man standing behind the bar, rubbing a glass with a cloth for seemingly no reason, and staring straight at me.

I chuckle at how easily I startled, and exclaim “Christ, you scared me half to death!”. Sign man continues to stare at me without a trace of amusement as he rubs the glass. His lip curls with disdain again. “You work here, do you?” I ask airily.

Sign man immediately reaches for one of the pumps and pours out a pint under the bar. He then plonks the glass onto the bar and pushes it towards me, but with my keen perceptive eye I realise that the contents of the pint glass don’t really resemble beer at all. The liquid inside is clear and colourless, and smells like it could quite easily strip the paint from a car. I hold out a hand to refuse the drink. “No, no. Could I have a beer please mate?” I ask politely.

Sign man nods and continues to try to force the glass towards me. “Wodka.” He utters. I keep my hand out on the bar, pushing back against the glass of ‘wodka’.

“No, no. Could you pour me a… Wait do you keep your vodka in kegs?”

“Wodka!” He growls, somewhat more aggresively. His thick eye brows curl down into a frown as he continues to push.

I grasp the glass begrudgingly and hold it up to my mouth. I can feel the hairs in my nostrils burning away from the scent of the stuff.

“No beer?” I plead. Sign man shakes his head adamantly. “Just… Pints of draft… Wodka?” He nods solemnly.

He watches me curiously and silently as I nurse my bizarre and potentially lethal beverage. And you’re bloody right I nurse it, I don’t drink this stuff with mixers, let alone straight out of a pint glass. And from a keg, no less. Welcome to Poland I suppose.

I have no idea how I’m still upright by time I finish my drink. To be honest I have no idea why I felt obliged to drink it in the first place. As I eventually put the empty glass down on the bar, sign man twists his thin lips into a smile of sorts and holds out a hand. “Radzinski” he mumbles. With a small pang of embarrassment that I hadn’t already figured this information out for myself, I take his hand and shake it, which as it turns out requires a surprising amount of effort and concentration.

“You can stay up there”. He nods towards a staircase visible through the door behind the bar.

“I can? There’s a flat up there?” I ask hopefully. Radzinski nods. I’m taken aback by the sudden offer, and I can’t help but feel like I’ve just been weirdly initiated into something, but I immediately accept. “We do papers tomorrow” he says as he hands me the keys.

“And you speak English?” I enquire cautiously. Radzinski nods once more.

“I am very proud.” He mumbles. “But, it isn’t rocket surgery.” I don’t really have a response to that, so I just smile and nod.

I get up and walk through the door that he gestured towards, leaving Radzinski stood behind the bar, still rubbing the same glass with his cloth, and make my way up the creaky staircase. Before I reach the top, I see the room that is to Become my new lodgings. Placed in the middle of the wood is a faded brass number “1”. But just as my foot hits the landing, a strange thought comes to mind and I start to walk back down. “Wait, do you not work for GKS Katowice? If you just own this place, why was it you that picked me up from the…”

As I reach the bottom of the stairs and step back through the door to the bar, Radzinski is nowhere to be seen.

Mini-sode 50.5.5.5.5.5 >

Find me on:

2017/18 Fantasy Premier League (League Code 103559-27627)

Year 2 World Roundup (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Mini-sode 50.5.5.5)

Let’s find out what’s been going on in the World of Football.

< Mini-sode 50.5.5

After saying my goodbyes and wishing the players well, I leave the Angrense training ground for the last time. I had called everyone together for one last kick about before I left. We didn’t train, we didn’t run drills or split into groups or practice anything in particular. We just played football. It was fun. I discretely took a few of them to one side and asked if they would be open to joining me in Katowice. It wasn’t exactly the most ethical move but I thought I may as well ask. A few of them were open to the idea and a few of them sadly weren’t. More on that later.

For now, I’ve got a plane to catch. I stop at the flat to pick up Meatloaf, Burnie, and my suitcases, we get into a taxi and leave for Lajes Field Airport for the final time.

Goodbye Angra do Heroismo. Goodbye Hero Creek. Goodbye Terceira. Goodbye Volcano Island.

As it turns out, the flight from Terceira to Katowice is not an easy one. It’s an overnight journey, and we’ll initially travel from Terceira to Lisbon, Portugal. From Lisbon, we’ll fly to Warsaw, Poland. And from Warsaw, we’ll zip over to Katowice, our final destination. It’ll take 18 hours all told, except that it won’t, will it, because what are the odds that all 3 of my flights are on time? What are the odds that 1 of them is? I fucking hate flying.

Anyway, the flight to Lisbon isn’t all that bad. We arrive at 40 minutes past midnight, but now we have a 9 hour wait in the airport. Of course we do. I reach into my rucksack and pull out my laptop. We’re here for the long haul, so we may as kill some time hadn’t we? Let’s find out what’s been going on in the World of Football.

The Liga Nos title was retained by SL Benfica, but just barely. They won 79 points, which was only 2 more than rivals Sporting. Braga were a further 3 points behind, and Porto weren’t even close. 4th place with 64 points. Benfica boss Rui Vitória won the Manager of the Year award, which was quite a surprise given that Arouca were predicted 13th, but crept into the Europa League places thanks to the guiding hand of Jorge Castelo, who was the runner up for the award.

There’s been a plethora of great performers in the league this year, starting with Porto’s André Silva, who did one better than last season and scored the most goals in the league, ahead of Braga’s Hassan. Álex Grimaldo of Benfica was again one of the most consistently excellent performers, along with Thiago Maia of Sporting, and Pedrinho of Ferreira and Fejsa of Benfica bagged the most assists. SLB’s Ederson retained the Best Goalkeeper award.

Speaking of retaining titles, Arsene’s Arsenal have gone and done it again. They blitzed the Premier League and won 91 points, the exact same tally that they racked up last year. Again, they finished 9 points clear of Mourinho’s United side and again good old Arsene took the Manager of the Year award.

Oddly though, the top performers in the league were all from Arsenal’s rivals. Sergio Aguero’s still got it, as evidenced by his 22 league goals. Chelsea’s £69 Million 2017 Summer signing Mauro Icardi bagged 20 – the 2nd highest total. United’s Juan Mata, City’s James Rodríguez and Spurs’ Dele Alli all had fantastic seasons, as did United’s De Gea, who won the golden glove again.

Sacking Mick McCarthy and Steve Clarke didn’t save Ipswich or Forest, who are going straight back down to the Championship under the stewardship of Neil Harris and Javier Aguirre respectively. They’re joined by Crystal Palace, who are managed by Laurent Blanc, because obviously.

The trio will be replaced in the big time by Chris Hughton’s Brighton and Hove Albion, Mika Lehkosuo’s Fulham, and incredibly, Steve McClaren’s Derby County!

In La Liga, Zizou and his Galacticos stomped their Madrid neighbours back down from the thrown, running away with the league on 94 points, which is 15 clear of Simeone’s Athletico Madrid and 16 ahead of Enrique’s ever-underachieving Barcelona. Quique Sánchez Flores won the Manager of the Year award for heroically guiding Espanyol to 5th and only 1 place off the Champions League spots, despite their predicted finish of 11th.

Luis Suárez of Barça and Simone Zaza of Valencia lead the way in terms of scoring goals with 23 and 21 respectively, but Lionel Messi unsurprisingly turned in some great performances. He was by far the highest performing player in the league, followed from a distance by his team mate Gerard Piqué, and he recorded the joint most assists with Real Sociedad’s Recio. Real’s Keylor Navas deservedly won his 2nd golden glove in as many seasons.

Moving onto the Bundesliga, and it’s very much as you’d expect. Bayern held Dortmund at arms length to retain the title with 91 points. Dortmund were completely isolated in 2nd, 10 points behind Bayern but 19 points clear of 3rd place Bayer Leverkusen. Bayern’s Carlo Ancelotti won the Manager of the Year award for demolishing the Bundesliga.

Dortmund’s Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang scored the most goals, just ahead of Dimitris Diamantakos, who seems to have single handedly prevented Karlsruhe from dropping straight back down to the 2nd tier. Mats Hummels and Jérôme Boateng put in consistantly excellent displays for Bayern, while Roberto Lewandowski racked up the most assists, just pipping Freiburg’s Vincenzo Grifo to that honour. Neuer was unsurprisingly the top goalkeeper in the league. Wolfsburg are coming straight back up too, along with Braunschweig.

My God, I would not want to be Leonardo Jardim right now. The former Monaco manager moved to Juventus in December after Massimiliano Allegri took up the Manager’s role of the Italian national side. My intuition tells me that Jardim might not be in his new job for very much longer, because Juventus drew with the already relegated Spal on the final day of the season. That in itself might not have been so bad, but it allowed Roma to leapfrog the reigning Champions into first place. So after winning the Serie A Title for the last 6 years running, Juventus end the season on 75 points with Inter, and they pass the baton on to Roma. Nobody will argue with Roma’s Luciano Spalletti being handed the Manager of the Year award, I’m sure.

Paulo Dybala and Leonardo Bonucci both had fantastic seasons for Juve too. Dybala scored 21 and was the Serie A top goalscorer too, 4 goals ahead of Torino’s Manuel Pucciarelli, who was signed from Empoli last summer. The top assisters were Milan’s Andrea Bertolacci and Roma’s Diego Perotti and Inter’s Samir Handanovic won the golden glove.

The rest of Europe really wants to embarrass Juve too. As well as Benfica, Bayern and Arsenal, Monaco have also successfully defended their title with 99 points in Ligue 1, having promoted their former coach José Barros to Manager to replace Jardim. PSG weren’t that far behind on 93 points, but their reign of dominance seems to be well and truly over. Although they were some way behind the top 2, Bordeaux performed well above expectations and nabbed the last Champions League spot, earning Manager Jocelyn Gourvennec the Manager of the Year award.

PSG’s Edinson Cavani scored the most goals, just in front of Monaco’s Valère Germain. Bernardo Silva and Ángel di María had excellent seasons, Dijon’s Nabil El Zhar nabbed the most assists, PSG’s Thiago got the 2nd most, and Monaco’s Danijel Subasic won the Golden Glove.

Something I neglected to mention last year was the European Competitions, so here you go. Last year, Monaco beat a heroic Leicester side 2-1 in the final, meaning that the Jamie Vardy movie will probably have a pretty bad ending, and Man City beat Leverkusen, Barça and Juve to get to the final, and then recorded a comfortable 2-0 win over Real Madrid to clinch the Champions League.

This year however, Napoli won the Europa League, ensuring that there would be no chance of a London-based winner by knocking out West Ham and Tottenham on the way. They drew with Inter 0-0 in the final but won 5-4 on penalties.

Athletico Madrid won the Champions League, knocking Juve, Chelsea and Bayern out on the way before beating poor Barcelona 1-1 in the final via a penalty shootout in which Messi and Rafinha missed from the spot.

I should probably mention Poland too, shouldn’t I? We do need to start learning a bit about the Polish Leagues. In the Lotto Extraklasa, Legia won the League on 69 points with Lech, Jagiellonia and Lechia qualifying for the Europa League. Bruk-Bet Termalica finished safely outside the relegation zone on 30 points, which I make a mental note of for later.

Ślask and Arka weren’t so lucky. They dropped down to the 2nd tier and will be replaced by Piast and our new club GKS Katowice. We, by the way, were promoted by virtue of having a goal difference of 8 while Wisła Puławy’s was 6. It looks like it got pretty tense towards the end there. My predecessor, Krzysztof Debek, who I don’t have anything against… For now… was poached by the aforementioned Bruk-Bet Termalica, which seems like a bit of a sideways move if I’m honest.

Anyway, how much time has that killed?

10 minutes.

Fuck it, I’m taking a nap. Someone watch my cats.

PS – As the new Fantasy Football season is upon us, I thought I’d create myself a team and a League, which you can come and join! If you don’t play Fantasy Premier League but want to join, then follow this link, create a club and enter the code below to join my League. If you do already play, then you probably know the drill! My League code’s below.

103559-27627

Cheers!

Franjo

Mini-sode 50.5.5.5.5 >

Find me on:

2017/18 Fantasy Premier League (League Code 103559-27627)

Year 2 Review (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Mini-sode 50.5.5)

Let’s take a quick look back on year 2.

< Meta-sode 50.5

Pray silence please for the Portuguese Championship Manager of the bloody Year! I hadn’t even been thinking about personal accolades but I’ll take that. That’s the cherry on top.

So… this season was a biggie, eh? Before I head off to enjoy the glitz and glamour of the top tier of Polish football, let’s take a quick look back on year 2.

Club: SC Angrense

Final Position: 1st in First Phase, 1st in Promotion Stage, PT Championship Champions

Record: W27 D9 L1

Key Player(s): “Olivier” Kingue, Benjamim, Gonçalo “Hurley” Reyes, Pedro “Kevin” Aguiar, Cristiano Magina

Highlight: Our Unbeaten League Season

Lowlight: Belenenses’ 120th minute goal that knocked us out of the Taça de Portugal 4th round

This year has gone better than I could have possibly hoped. Our only defeat was in extremely unfortunate circumstances: A 5-4 extra time loss to a Liga Nos side. For the rest of the season we drew a few and won a lot.

There were times that I feared for our unbeaten record. There were times when our oppositions’ well timed defensive howlers and red cards kept the run alive, and there were times when our last minute winning goals did the same. All I know is that it has been a hell of a Season.

Let’s talk about Cristiano Magina. He needs his own paragraph because quite frankly, he’s had a ridiculous season. It’s probably going to be easier if I just list his accomplishments, so here they are (And I stress that the following lists are taken from the Portuguese Championship, in which there are 80 clubs and about a quadrillion players):

– 1st in list of “Most Player of the Match Awards” with 11

– 1st in list of “Highest Average Rating” with 7.59

– 1st in list of “Top Goal Scorers” with 27

– 1st in list of “Minutes Per Goal” with 89.74

He was all of those things in terms of our club accolades too, as well as being our top assist provider with 12 and our Fans’ Player of the Season. Oh, and of course the Championship Player of the Year.

Olivier deserves a mention too. He made the joint 2nd most key headers in the League with 88, and made the most interceptions by a distance with 571. He was also voted Signing of the Season and Young Player of the Season for Angrense.

Kevin scooped the Goal of the Season award for his run and thunderbastard combination against Farense in September, Benjamim was our tidiest player, Hurley picked up 16 yellows, and not one of our players picked up more than 1 red card.

Lastly, if you had to guess the 2 Angrense players that made it into the Portuguese Championship Team of the Year, who would you say?

Hurley and Magina?

Bloody right! Have a toffee.

Former Clubs

FC Höllviken

Sadly, the last year has been brutal for FC Höllviken. When I last updated you Stefan Lundqvist had made a right pig’s ear of replacing me and had been given his marching orders. Joakim took over for a few weeks before former Russia international Sergey Prigoda took the hot seat. He failed to halt Höllviken’s decline and resigned shortly after they plunged into the 5th tier.

Barely anything remains of the squad that fought tooth and nail for me. Ghanaian flop Lawrence is considered their best player after the mass exodus, former pub teamers Stefan Bouvin and Mattias Andersell are still very much involved in the first team, and the striker I signed and pretty much didn’t play, Wani Mukoko, is their captain. That’s about it really.

So what next? Well, we’ve got a new challenge ahead of us. And something tells me it’s going to be another extremely interesting year.

Mini-sode 50.5.5.5 >

Find me on:

Franjo’s Youtube Channel (For General Gaming Videos)

That Time Again (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Meta-sode 50.5)

I’ve decided to take a 2 week break from daily episodes

< Episode 50

Witajcie przyjaciele,

It’s that time again I’m afraid. My God I’ve enjoyed this season and I’m very grateful to my FM save for seemingly going out of its way to create drama for us.

I’ve been playing this by ear for the past 73 episodes, mini-sodes and meta-sodes and I still am. Even after taking a week off after episode 25, it’s been difficult at times to keep up with this story. Not that I’m complaining. It’s been a lot of work but it’s been entirely worth it.

But with that in mind, I’ve decided to take a 2 week break from daily episodes ahead of our first season with GKS Katowice. This should give me time to sort out our new squad, get to know our new club, our new league, our opposition, etc. I’ve got ideas for 3 or 4 mini-sodes throughout the next 2 weeks, so my thinking at the minute is that I’ll release them on the next 2 Tuesdays and Thursdays, and then daily episodes will be back on the 24th of July. This might change but I shouldn’t think it will. I’ll let you know if it does though.

A huge amount of thanks once again to everyone who’s been reading and getting involved by leaving feedback, I really do massively appreciate it.

Anyone wanting to leave me feedback, please leave a comment or message on the medium of your choice or email me at franjofm23@gmail.com !

Also, I set up a subreddit a few weeks ago specifically for FM stories. If you use reddit, then come subscribe and read some stories/post your stories/talk about your favourite stories! At the time of posting I think we’ve only got 4 contributors including myself so anyone wanting to post about their FM experiences is very welcome to.

Anyway, I’d better run. I’ve got a flight to Katowice to catch. Have a great couple of weeks.

Cheers,

Franjo

Vamos… Katowice?

I’ll work on that.

Mini-sode 50.5.5 >

Find me on:

Franjo’s Youtube Channel (For General Gaming Videos)

The Next Chapter (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep50)

What a difference a title winning undefeated season makes.

< Mini-sode 49.5

I’m very, very pleased with the position that I’m leaving Angrense in. Yes, I still plan to come back and pluck the best Heróis for my new team, but still.

The latest piece of big news is that Angrense have gone professional! This is a massive step forward for the club. It should enable them to keep up with the rest of the LigaPro, get players in on full time contracts, hire more staff, upgrade the facilities, the infrastructure, the quality of prawn sandwiches and all that good stuff. Borba has also decided to add 370 seats to Estádio Municipal de Angra do Heroismo, taking the seated capacity to 1306.

So all in all, the future is bright in Hero Creek and I can leave to start the next chapter of my career with a clear conscience and a spring in my step.

And bloody hell. What a difference a title winning undefeated season makes. 18 months ago, I withstood rejection after rejection after rejection, with the exception of the handful of English clubs that tried to bring me home. This Summer is… Different.

I send my CV far and wide to see who needs a new top dog, and at first the response is lukewarm. I decline LigaPro side Farense’s offer for an interview, as well as Vanarama National side Morecambe. Not a good start, I think. Offers from 2 of the only countries that I’m not currently interested in plying my trade in. I want to move on from Portugal and the time still isn’t right to go home.

I then turn down interviews with Budapest Honvéd Futball Club, a 2nd tier Hungarian side, and Union Sportive Concarnoise, a French 3rd tier side, as neither club represent a step up from Angrense. I’m willing to be bullish about this, I do want a step up. I’m not moving sideways.

Chester City in the Vanarama North can jog on, too. As can Vác FC, another Hungarian 2nd tier team. But the next email I receive is intriguing. Wojciech Pertkiewicz, Chairman of Lotto Ekstraklasa (Polish top tier) side Arka Gdynia wants me in for an interview. Now we’re talking. The Lotto Ekstraklasa would be a significant jump up the managerial ladder for me. We make the arrangements and I interview for the role of Arka Gdynia manager.

I do hope for an even bigger opportunity to present itself, but I’m swiftly disappointed. Freamunde, another LigaPro side and Scottish 3rd tier side Arbroath both get in touch, but neither fit the bill. Get me an interview in Glasgow, Scotland. Then we’ll talk.

I do reluctantly attend an interview with Vlastimil Gabriel, Chairman of Czech 2nd tier side Varnsdorf. To be honest though, I attend mostly out of boredom.

Gonçalo Valadão officially retires from football. He’s done well with Angrense and I imagine he’ll have a job for life there, unless he becomes a good coach, in which case I might pinch him.

After deleting an email from Vanarama South side East Thurrock United, offering me another pissing interview in England, I stumble across another from Vlastimil Gabriel. He wants me to take the Varnsdorf job. I stare at the email for a few minutes, before sending a reply in which I courteously decline. I feel like I lead him on a bit by interviewing, but especially as Gdynia is still a possibility, I want to set my sights higher than the Czech 2nd tier.

I reject interviews from Spanish 3rd tier side Tudelano and Slovenian 2nd tier side NK Komenda over the next few days, but I’m starting to sweat. My contract is up in less than 2 weeks. I do have the brainwave of getting Borba to pay the £600 for my National C license studies though, so that should set me up nicely if the worst should happen and I find myself unemployed in a few months.

I do have to laugh when Torreense throw me a cheeky interview offer. They finished 4th in their PT Championship Relegation stage group this year but you’ve got to admire their ambition.

I also decline interviews from Serbian 2nd tier side FK Temnic 1924 Varbarin and Slovakian 2nd tier side Slavoj Trebisov, before attending one with Turkish 2nd tier side Adana Demierspor and their President Melik Toprak. If I’m going to move to a 2nd division side, being 1 promotion away from the Süper Lig wouldn’t be a bad shout.

In another pretty funny turn of events, after I turned down Farense’s offer for an interview at the start of the Summer, they hired the manager of PT Championship Runners up Cinfães, Arlindo Gomes. So naturally, Cinfães send me an invitation. Naturally, I say no.

With about a week to go before my contract expires, and having rejected 2 more offers from Serbian 2nd tier side Buducnost Dobanovci and Spanish 4th tier side Palencia, I receive another email that catches my attention.

It’s Wojciech Cygan, Chairman of Another Lotto Ekstraklasa side, GKS (Górniczy Klub Sportowy) Katowice. In 6 weeks time, they start the new season as heavy favourites to be relegated, having only just been promoted and having a weaker squad than the majority of the division, but I think I’m just about ready for another relegation scrap. I accept Wojciech’s offer for an interview and fly back to Poland for another crack at a top tier job.

29th June 2016: 2 days before Angrense contract expires

[Email]

From: Wojciech Cygan, Chairman of GKS Katowice

Subject: Save Us, Franjo

Meta-sode 50.5

Find me on:

Franjo’s Youtube Channel (For General Gaming Videos)

Final Answer (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Mini-sode 49.5)

“Will you stay with Angrense, Franjo, or will you go?”

< Episode 49

13 Days Earlier…

“I will ask you one more time, and your answer will be final. Will you stay with Angrense, Franjo, or will you go?”

I think for a moment as Borba takes a step back. And then I let out a sigh.

“This decision… would be a lot more difficult if we had a project here, Miguel.” I explain. “But there’s no project. There’s no stability for me here. How am I meant to build a LigaPro squad while I’m looking over my shoulder, expecting my players to be sold over my head?”

Miguel studies me silently, his brow furrowed as he slowly nods. Then he holds out a hand. “I wish you luck then.” He says coldly.

I take his hand and shake it firmly. “You too.” I reply.

As our handshake ends he adds: “Just make sure you beat Cinfães. Your contract runs out at the end of June. You aren’t gone yet.”

“I’ve been gone for months Miguel.” I chuckle. “We’ll be fine.”

He turns away and begins to walk back to the stands. I really do wish him the best of luck. Not for his sake, God no, but for the sake of Angrense. I’ve no idea how it’s only been 18 months but I’ve really come to love this place. The fans, the players, the staff – Well, most of the staff.

But I’d be a fool to overstay my welcome. The time is right for me to move on to pastures new. I wonder whose attention I’ve caught this Season. I’m not sure Bayern will be hammering on my door, but I reckon I should be able to make a decent step up to a bigger club.

I guess we’ll find out in the Summer.

Episode 50 >

Find me on:

Franjo’s Youtube Channel (For General Gaming Videos)

One More Time (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep49)

“Go and make history”

< Episode 48

The last couple of weeks has been a bit surreal. We won promotion from the Portuguese Championship and for a moment I thought that our Season was over, completely forgetting that we’ve still got to face off against the winner of Group A to determine who wins the Division. So in the end, our celebrations didn’t last very long. We’ve still got 1 more match to play before we can claim to have gone the entire 2017/18 season unbeaten, so there’s still work to be done.

We’ve had 2 friendlies against 2 small sides (The biggest teams that would play us right at the end of the season, frustratingly) to prepare us for our match against Cinfães, the winners of Group A. First, we eased past Guadeloupe at home. In a rotated line up, Seidi opened the scoring, Quina bagged goals either side of half time and Kevin put the cherry on top as we ran out 4-0 winners.

For our 2nd friendly I thought it best to play an away match as the play-off will be hosted at a neutral venue. To be specific, we’ll be playing at Liga Nos side Nacional da Madeira’s stadium, Estádio da Madeira. So we travelled to Vitória do Pico and played the exact same side that I plan to play against Cinfães. It was our dress rehearsal, if you like. Anyway, I hope the real match goes that well. Kevin opened the scoring before Sobral got the equaliser, and then Kevin gave us the lead again. Magina, Aires and Hurley all scored to get us another convincing win.

But it’s one thing trouncing teams like Guadeloupe and Vitória do Pico. Trying to take a win against Cinfães will be an entirely different proposition.

The line up that I played in that second friendly, and the line up that I’ve picked today, is as standard and as predictable as it could possibly be. I don’t know what to expect from Cinfães, except for a tough game, but we’ll end the season the only way that feels right. We’ll set up to dominate. We’ll embrace the spirit of my arse hole of a cat one more time. We will of course go Project: Meatloaf.

Goalkeeper – No. 1 – Délcio Borges Azevedo

He has been solid if unspectacular over the last 18 months. Serginho took the gloves for a spell at the start of this season, but eventually Délcio won back his rightful place between the sticks.

Defensive Right Back – No. 13 – Vitor Hugo Alves Miranda

It’s never even crossed my mind to replace him while I’ve been here. Yes, he’s been known to have the odd lapse of judgement, but overall he’s been solid defensively and decent at supporting attacks.

Centre Back – No. 26 – Lassina Touré

A free signing in the Summer, Lassina blossomed this season, even winning his first cap for Burkina Faso against Tunisia. He’s been a solid upgrade on last year’s centre backs.

Centre Back – No. 12 – Jean Olivier Sumo Kingue, AKA Olivier

Take everything I just said about Touré and multiply it by 10. Well, apart from the international cap thing. Olivier has been an outrageously good capture for us. A complete centre back, a danger from set pieces, and one of the unsung stars of my Heróis side.

Defensive Left Back – No. 2 – Mauro Aires Brasil Reis

Another man brought in during my defensive overhaul a year ago, Mauro has been a defensively solid option at left back. He’s been OK going forward but I’ve generally left him out in favour of Diogo Coelho when I’ve wanted us to attack down the wings.

Box to Box Midfielder – No. 17 – Benjamim Pimentel Melo Vicente, AKA Benjamim

When I first saw Benjamim, I described him as a man who ‘would have a good shot at winning the “Most Average Player in the World” award.’ I was dead wrong. He’s one of those players who is far more than the sum of his parts, and he makes the team more than the sum of it’s parts too. He’s the kind of footballer who is often overlooked, but who is so very crucial in every successful team. And that goal against Torreense, eh?

Attacking Central Midfielder – No. 11 – Gonçalo Miguel Reyes Dias, AKA Hurley

I think I’ve already said everything that needs to be said about Hurley. He’s gotten us through so many clutch moments with goals, assists and key passes. He is an excellent footballer and he’ll be in my team next year. Also fun fact, his agent’s name is Hugo. Make of that what you will.

Right Winger – No. 20 – Hugo Fernando Teixeira Bogas, AKA Amonike

I was dead wrong again. When I arrived, I overlooked Amonike. I overlooked him because he isn’t blessed with great pace, or great skill, or even a fantastic end product. He spent most of the first 6 months of my Angrense career warming the bench while Aurélio stunk up the right wing. But just like Benjamim, Amonike as a footballer… Well, he just works. All of his semi-decent qualities just come together to make a fine footballer, and a regular in my side.

Advanced Playmaker – No. 16 – Jeferson Anti Filho, AKA Jeferson Paulista

As I once overheard an enthusiastic Angrense fan say, “Paulista doesn’t know how to score tap-ins, does he?”* And they were right. Of the 4 goals Paulista has scored for us in his short time here, 2 have been free kicks, one has been a volley, and one has been a tidy finish. The man once described as “The new Elano” came in and added genuine quality to our front line, and he made an instant impact.

Left Inside Forward – No. 7 – Pedro Daniel Santos Aguiar, AKA Kevin

Kevin has been an extremely reliable performer since I came in. He started my first season incredibly well, shining a light on Aurélio’s poor form because of his brilliant goal scoring and chance creation. I’ve said before and I’ll say again that if we find ourselves with a genuine goal scoring chance, I’ll be shocked if Kevin hasn’t played a major part in creating it.

Advanced Forward – No. 9 – Cristiano Toste Magina

My first impression of CM9 was that he reminded me of a 16 year old Wayne Rooney. He came deep to collect the ball, jinked and powered past defenders, before trying to score wonder goals from 30+ yards. But Project: Meatloaf made him an entirely different player. With Medeiros, or Antunes, or Hurley, or Paulista playing just behind him, he no longer needed to collect the ball from deep. Instead he became the focal point up top. He became the man who held the ball up and created chances for players around him, the man who got on the end of crosses, be it with his head, feet or chest, and the man who scored a shit tonne of goals. He’s a complete modern centre forward and I’m positive that despite his advancing years, he’s still got time to make it at a much, much higher level.

I struggle for a while to think of what to say to my players before the match. What’s our motivation to win today? If we lose 10-0 to Cinfães, we’re still going up. That makes this match feel on the surface like a meaningless fixture. But we can’t lack motivation now. There’s still silverware to be won. We’re still breaking records. We’re still unbeaten. These are the things that are still to play for. In the end I keep my team talk short and sweet. “Go and make history”, I tell them, before walking out of the changing room, through the tunnel, and out into the dugout.

I suppose I should have seen this coming. If I have a complaint about this season, and I shouldn’t, it’s that too often we’ve failed to make an impact in the first half of games. Too often we don’t start playing until after the break. Today is one of those days. Apart from Joel Silva’s half volley rippling the side netting 10 minutes before half time, nothing really happens.

“One last push.” I say to the team once we’ve all shuffled silently back into the changing room. “One last push and you’ll go down in Angrense History. Vamos Heróis!” The players scream our motto back to me in Unison, and we head back out with our chests puffed out and our heads held high.

It takes less than 2 minutes for Aires to spot Hurley darting onto the left wing and pick him out. Hurley takes the ball and fizzes a cross in towards the near post. And CM9 turns it in. Of course he bloody does.

The goal only spurs Cinfães on though. Less than 5 minutes later Joel Silva gets on the end of an Alves cross and volleys in the equaliser.

The game momentarily seems to have come alive. Before the hour mark, Magina gets in behind the Cinfães defence and shoots from a narrow angle, but Diego Silva saves. The entertainment doesn’t last. The final whistle blows with the scores tied, and our season will carry on for at least another 30 minutes.

I withdraw Hurley before extra time begins. Quite frankly, it’s been a long season and he looks as if he’s scaled Monte Brasil. He’s shattered. After thinking hard, I decide to replace him with Bruce Ávila. If I’m bringing on fresh legs they may as well be on the wing where we can stretch the opposition. Paulista will take up Hurley’s midfield position and Kevin will play behind Magina.

The rotation of positions very nearly pays off instantly, but when Kevin’s excellent through ball is picked up by Magina, the big man uncharacteristically skies his shot.

4 minutes from the break, Bruce Ávila dribbles down the left wing and crosses in for Magina at the near post. CM9 doesn’t mess around this time. He blasts the ball on the volley and it flies into the net. As my coaching staff celebrate, I go into full lockdown mode. We’ll swap to a 4-1-2-3 shape, Seidi will come on for Amonike, and Kevin will take the right wing. We go all out defence.

Or, we should do. But the thing is, if you’re defending a lead in a match like this, the other team should attack. That’s just how it is. That’s how it works. But Cinfães don’t get the memo. They don’t have anything left in the tank. They sit back and we come forward again in the 117th minute. It’s fitting that Hurley’s replacement, Bruce Ávila, is at the heart of it once more, creating chances in his absence. Ávila plays the ball inside for Paulista, whose shot across goal brushes Silva’s fingertips as it flies in.

And that’s it. That’s all of it. Renato Silva has a 2 minute cameo in Kevin’s place, but the game is already won. The league is already won.

We are euphoric. We are record breakers. We are undefeated. We are Champions.

We are Sport Clube Angrense. Vamos fucking Heróis.

Mini-sode 49.5

*The enthusiastic fan is Sammuthegreat on fm-base.co.uk! Cheers for the constant feedback and support mate!

Find me on:

Franjo’s Youtube Channel (For General Gaming Videos)

Vamos Heróis (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep48)

It has all gone horrendously, hideously wrong.

< Episode 47

I stare, unblinking, across the pitch. It has all gone horrendously, hideously wrong. Correct me if I’m misremembering but I don’t ever recall us being 2 goals down at any point this season. But here we are. 37 minutes in. Mafra 2, Angrense 0. What a great fucking time for this to happen.

45 Minutes Earlier…

“Now remember”, I begin, “A loss today does not mean that we’ve failed. If Mafra beat us, all that happens is we pick ourselves up and go again in the play offs. But if we win…” I look around the changing room as I let the word sink in. I watch the players’ body language. A clenched fist here, a flicker of a smile there.

“If we win”, I repeat in a soft tone, “You will be legends in Hero Creek. You will be true Heróis.” With that, a wave of calm optimism seems to wash over the players. “I’m not one for massive speeches lads,” I continue, “but I’d like to remind you of some advice that a friend once gave me. A piece of advice that I passed on to those of you who played for me and for Angrense when I first arrived in Hero Creek.” As my Heróis turn their eyes towards me, a wide smile stretches across my face, and I grasp the handkerchief in my left trouser pocket.

“Don’t overthink it”, I wink.

We’re so fucking ready for this match. I’ve never known these players so excited, or so focussed. Mafra Away could arguably be described as the toughest match of our Season and there’s a strange poetry to the way that it’s come about on the last day to decide who wins Promotion. But to be honest, I wouldn’t want it any other way. This match deserves to be an occasion and my players deserve to be the ones who win it.

We will line up today in a counter attacking 4-1-2-3 variant of our Heróis Original system. We will be solid, we will soak up pressure, and we will hit Mafra quickly on the break. Rúby starts as the holding man as Jaime Seidi is suspended and Diogo Coelho starts in place of the injured Mauro Aires. Jeferson Paulista starts on the left wing, leaving Kevin on the bench.

The first goal comes 13 minutes in when Varão lays the ball off for Bruninho, who belts it into the top corner from just outside the area. It’s a hell of a strike to be fair. I react rashly, telling the players to abandon our plan of counter attacking and to attempt to control the game instead.

In the 37th minute, Carvalhas swings in a free kick from the right wing and big centre back Rafael Goiano heads the ball past the flailing Azevedo.

Do you remember when I mentioned the Gods of football? When I explained that they can be incredibly cruel and vindictive arse holes? Well how about getting beaten for the first time on the last day of the season? That’s them. This is their doing. They’re laughing their celestial tits off at me right now.

But suddenly, we come alive. The 2nd goal seems to flick a switch and it’s only a couple of minutes before Amonike drills in a cross from the right wing, which Guilherme helpfully deflects into his own net.

My players smell blood. There’s a real spring in their step now. In the 44th minute, as I consider what kind of approach I’ll use in my team talk, Amonike gets free down the right again and puts another low cross in, but this time Guilherme does not score on our behalf. He doesn’t need to. Because Benjamim arrives at the near post to score the equaliser.

If there’s one thing that I’ve really grown to love in away matches, it’s the silence. I don’t know if we’re a special case or if the whole division is the same, but generally you can count the number of away fans that attend these matches on one hand. Whether we’re the home or away side, it’s always the same: A couple of away fans amongst a sea of hundreds of home fans. And when we’re on the road, and you could hear the sound of a pin dropping on the other side of the ground, it’s one of the best feelings a Portuguese Championship Manager can have.

At half time, as it turns out, I barely need to say anything. A quick comeback before half time builds an awful lot of momentum and I only ask that the players carry it into the second half. Unfortunately they don’t. Aside from a ridiculously optimistic long range shot from Bruninho, the first 25 minutes are quiet and tense.

Mind you, that may not be the worst thing in the world. After all, as it stands, we’re going up. I don’t want to rock the boat by making big changes, so I just drop our wingers back to form a 2nd bank of 4. We’ll play our standard game in a 4-1-4-1 and try to scrape through to the end.

I’m clock watching now, which is never ever a useful thing to do. It only makes time go more slowly. It makes you feel every tick, and experience every tock. I’m watching the pot and expecting it to boil, but I can’t help it. Into the final 10 minutes we go, and all we need to do is not fuck this up.

In the 83rd minute, Hurley chips a beautiful pass into the Mafra box for Magina, who chests the ball down – And half volleys into the bottom corner. My heart’s pounding. This it it. Have we won it? We’ve surely won it. An equaliser wouldn’t be enough for Mafra, they need to beat us. I promised myself I wouldn’t, but I try to belly bounce Pedro again.

I needn’t have worried about a Mafra equaliser. They may as well raise a white flag from their dugout. They’re dejected and they’re done. Pretty much straight from kick off, we get forward again. Magina squares the ball for Paulista and the Brazilian puts the cherry on top with a low finish into the bottom corner.

4-2. It’s 4-2. The final whistle blows and it’s still 4-2. I can hear screaming and cheering from my staff behind me and my players in front of me, and it’s still 4-2. We’ve won. We’ve done it. We’ve been fucking promoted.

I’m laughing, or crying, or something in between. It’s difficult to tell. All I know is that I’m sprinting as fast as my legs will carry me onto the pitch towards the pile of Heróis in the far corner, along with Pedro and my staff. Even Nuno’s caught up with us. He’s running alonside me, beaming as tears streak down his cheeks. “VAMOS HERÓIS!” I shout, throwing my arm around his shoulder. Nuno looks up at me and just starts wailing with happiness. “VAMOS HERÓIS, INGLÊS!” He sobs. What a game. What a comeback. What a year. What a club.

As I join in the celebrations with the players, a golden retriever that’s obviously sneaked through the turnstiles somehow, and the 2 travelling fans, who by the way have staged the smallest pitch invasion in the history of football, I feel a slight pang of regret. I’ve brought this team up to the LigaPro, but I won’t be here to lead them through it. I’m starting to wonder whether the decision I made is the right one.

At that moment I notice Miguel Borba striding across the grass, looking straight at me. I can tell from his face that he can tell from my face exactly what I’m thinking. He keeps walking until he’s stood uncomfortably close to me, and then he leans in towards my ear and whispers: “I will ask you one more time, and your answer will be final. Will you stay with Angrense, Franjo, or will you go?”

Episode 49 >

Find me on:

Franjo’s Youtube Channel (For General Gaming Videos)

Five-A-Side (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep47)

We go meatloaf, and we go full strength.

< Episode 46

“Dele Alli, definitely. Then Gary Cahill, Jordan Pickford, Harry Kane and… Probably Adam Lallana. You?”

Nuno smacks his leathery lips as he trundles his mower across the pitch alongside me. “Cristiano Ronaldo…” He begins, “Rui Patrício… Bernardo Silva… João Moutinho…” He deliberates over the final name. “Pepe.” He concludes. I chuckle.

“You’d have Pepe in your Portuguese 5 a side team?” I ask, incredulously. “You need skilful players for 5 a side. Players that are good on the ball and handy in tight spaces. He’s a bit of a bull in a china shop isn’t he.”

“If Pepe plays so rough that your team runs away crying, I win, Inglês.”

“Fair point”, I concede. And then after a short pause, “I still think my team would win though.”

“Os Ingleses”, he laughs.

Just then, I notice Pedro striding across the pitch towards us. I give him a nod, which he returns.

“Message for you, Boss” he says sympathetically, “Tuks called. They’ve hired someone.”

I sigh. “Oh well. Cheers Pedro.” He nods and starts walking back off the pitch.

I decided that I would apply for one more job. I had an interview with University of Pretoria (Known as “Tuks”), a South African top tier side the other day. I don’t know what chance I thought I had when a South African second tier side rejected me not that long ago. It can’t be helped though, I don’t think South Africa’s ready for me yet. I’ll have to find another destination. Maybe I’ll stick to Europe for another year or 2 and then conquer the World.

Anyway, now that Nuno’s got our pitch nice and playable, we’re ready to host Barreirense. I have no particularly special plan for this match as I fully expect us to beat Barreirense at this point. We go Meatloaf, and we go full strength.

We start well. It takes Magina only 17 minutes to clip our opening goal into the far corner of the net, after a good pass from Hurley. And less than 10 minutes after the goal, our day gets even better when Barreirense’s star striker Caraballo has to be stretchered off with an injury. He’s scored 17 in 27 so far this season so it’s certainly comforting to watch him be carried from the field. I do feel quite bad, but not bad enough to stop me subtly pumping my fist in celebration.

Before the half hour mark, a brilliant Heróis passing move ends with Magina returning the favour for Hurley, setting the midfielder up so he can slot the ball between the keeper’s legs and double our lead. It could be 3-0 shortly afterwards, but Paulista smashes one of his excellent free kicks against the post.

In first half injury time however, Hurley turns brilliantly to lose 2 defenders, and then plays a perfect pass around the corner for Amonike, who does slot in our 3rd. Game over.

The 2nd half starts fairly slowly. Magina and Zé Francisco both have outrageously speculative long range shots just after the restart, but neither troubles either keeper. Lagoa then plays Zé Francisco through on goal, but he shoots straight at Délcio Azevedo.

With about half an hour to go, I bring on Quina, Dias and Renato Silva. They could all do with a run out and I feel like I can afford to give Kevin, Paulista and Magina a rest. The decision does threaten to backfire on me though. First, Félix latches onto a Severino cross and volleys at goal from close range, only to be denied by Azevedo’s fingertips, and then Santos finds Lagoa with a well practiced free kick routine, but his shot is charged down by Olivier.

The final whistle goes and we record a 3-0 win over Barreirense. And not only that. We’ve also gone and secured ourselves a top 2 finish.

I receive a call a couple of minutes after full time from Miguel Borba. Not one to take a hint, he asks once again if I’d like to discuss a new contract. Just like I did a few weeks ago, but with more sarcasm, I tell him to invest in our academy instead. He declines. And he still doesn’t get it.

I do also find out shortly afterwards that Caraballo tore his hamstring during our match, so I hereby withdraw my celebrations and fist pump. Poor guy.

These next 2 matches are arguably the biggest of our Season. First up is União at home. União have surprised me slightly in the way that they’ve slid out of reach of the top 2. I expected them to be in the mix for the top spot until the very end but I can’t help feel that they’ve underachieved. In fact, they could condemn themselves to another Season in the Championship if they don’t beat us today. We on the other hand, could secure ourselves the top spot and make next week’s trip to 2nd place Mafra a dead rubber, which would be very, very helpful.

The yellow card that Hurley picked up against Barreirense was his 15th of the Season, so he’s banned for today’s match. Jaime Seidi replaces him in our lineup and will be the holding man in a slightly adapted Project: Meatloaf. Otherwise, we’re unchanged.

Hey and here’s yet another record within our reach: We’ve scored 62 goals so far this season. The record for a team in this division is 66. I’d definitely back us to break that in our 3 or 4 remaining matches.

The first half is an end to end encounter. Paulista sees a low shot turned behind by Rodrigo Antunes, before Amonike cushions down Kevin’s cross and Magina executes a Di Canio esque volley from close range, but sends the ball crashing against the bar.

Flávio Silva gets the ball in the net for União after Marakis nods on Bica’s looping free kick, but the linesman’s flag is raised. Silva was offside and the game remains deadlocked. 5 minutes before the break though, Martins drills a cross in from the right and Flávio Silva is there again. And he’s onside. 1-0 União.

At half time we change to be a little more attacking, but we can’t get close to the equaliser. But then, 20 minutes after the break, Sérgio Marakis slides into Magina from behind. It’s an ugly, ugly challenge and he’s shown a deserved straight red. I see our opportunity and instruct Os Heróis to play the ball quicker and into space. We need to make the most of our extra man.

With 10 minutes to go we change again. This time to a 4-2-4 formation. We’re throwing everything forward in search of the equaliser. I absolutely don’t want our season-long unbeaten run to end with only 2 or 3 games to go. Aires picks up a gash on his leg, so he comes off along with Seidi. Coelho and Dias come on as more offensive alternatives.

5 minutes before the end, Coelho overlaps on the left wing and swings a cross deep into the box. Kevin nods the ball back across goal and Magina pokes it in. It’s an ugly goal, and it’s not the first time this Season that our unbeaten run has been saved thanks to a red card for the opposition or a late goal, but I’ll take it. Rúby comes on to sure us up in a 4-3-1-2 system, and we see the match out to claim a valuable point.

That was far too close. Don’t get me wrong, I’m over the moon to have guaranteed a Play-off spot, but I would be gutted at this point if we didn’t achieve automatic promotion. Failure to grab an equaliser in that match would have not only ended our unbeaten run in a “He was only 2 days away from retirement” kind of way, but it also would have put us level on points with Mafra.

I had hoped to get Promotion wrapped up today, but in all fairness, where would be the fun in that? Instead, it’ll all go down to the last day, when 1st takes on 2nd in a winner-takes-all encounter. The victor will be elevated instantly to the dizzy heights of the Portuguese 2nd tier, while the loser will have to get through a grueling 2-legged play off against a team from the division above.

Let’s find out what we’re made of, shall we?

Episode 48 >
Find me on:

Franjo’s Youtube Channel (For General Gaming Videos)

Bilic Be Damned (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep46)

We are well and truly coming up to crunch time.

< Mini-sode 45.5

With 5 matches to play, we are well and truly coming up to crunch time. I’m not sure how seriously I took our promotion chances at the start of the season, but there’s no doubt that we’ll be in the mix now. Today we host Leiria, a side that we beat 2-0 in our last meeting, and a repeat performance would be just great.

With Big Slav’s request still ringing in my ears, I decide to bring Domingos Quina back into the fold and give Jeferson Paulista a rest. He’s been a revelation since he arrived in Hero Creek, but we’ve got some huge games coming up that I need him to be fresh for.

Amonike has drawn level now with Medeiros’ and Magina’s assist record of 10, but Kevin is catching up. There’s plenty of players in the mix for this record, which just speaks volumes about this squad.

We start brightly. It takes less than 4 minutes for Magina to put the ball through to release Amonike, but the winger’s first time shot, although seemingly destined for the bottom corner, is turned behind well by Bonet.

On the approach to half time I tell Os Heróis to push forwards and attack. We’re nearly punished in injury time when Bernardo’s corner connects with Santiago, who powers his header against the bar.

It’s been another one of those halfs. Another one of those halfs that leave me more underwhelmed than 2008 Robinho when he realised who he’d actually signed for. I give the starters 15 minutes of the 2nd half to impress me, which they don’t, before bringing on Silva and Paulista and hauling off Magina and Quina. Bilic be damned, I want to win.

Over the next few minutes, both teams come close. Silva hits a tame shot into Bonet’s arms and Pereira’s ball over our defence is latched onto by Allef, who goes one-on-one with Azevedo but can’t find a way past our pint sized Keeper.

Keen not to keep our defensive line unnecessarily high and invite Leiria to have another go at that, we go back to trying to control the game. It nearly pays off a few minutes from time when we win a corner. Amonike swings the ball in, Olivier nods it on at the near post and Touré gets his head to it at the far post, forcing an incredible reflex save from Bonet.

Ah well. There’s no argument here to say that either side should have won. In the end, both teams will gratefully take the point, the clean sheet, and then never speak of this match again.

Hopefully though, we can find our form again away at Casa Pia. We drew 1-1 with them at our place so we’re all itching to get the 3 points today. Casa Pia usually line up with a narrow diamond, so we’ll focus our play down the wings. Paulista comes in for Quina, and after his recently outstanding form for our Under 19’s (After bagging 5 goals in his last match, he’s now scored 26 in 26), Wilson Dias gets an actual real life start in place of Magina, who’s had a couple of quiet matches.

We start brightly once again when after just 5 minutes, Paulista strides forwards on the ball and cracks a shot against the bar from 20 yards. Just before the half hour mark though, he steps up to take a free kick in a very similar position to the one that he scored on his full debut. Obviously he powers it straight into the top corner again, because that’s exactly what Elano would have done. 1-0. Vamos Heróis.

Moments later, Hurley lays the ball off for Amonike, who forces a good save from Paulo in the Casa Pia net.

We head out after the break full of piss and vinegar. Paulista continues to pull the strings from the number 10 spot, playing the ball to Dias, who in turn feeds Benjamim, but Paulo is on form again to turn our midfielder’s shot away.

Quina comes on with half an hour to go in place of Kevin, and then Magina replaces Dias with 10 minutes to go. Paulista takes a bit of a knock, but that seems to be all she wrote.

Until the 93rd minute. When Hurley’s sloppy pass goes straight to Marques. Marques plays the ball to Ribeiro, who splits our defence with a through ball, and Rodrigues pokes the equaliser past the on-rushing Azevedo.

Bollocks.

Again, I can’t be too critical. I genuinely think that this may be the first time Hurley’s messed up in an Angrense shirt, and it’s cost us a cheap goal and 2 points. But that’s just how it goes sometimes. 2 points in 8 days isn’t the worst tally in the world, although it is slightly annoying. It’s just been a bit of a “Meh” week.

But the only thing that matters to me now is that we still sit at the top of the league. And with 3 matches to play, we’re a nose in front of Mafra in 2nd, but an entire 5 points ahead of Barreirense in 3rd. And somehow we’ve still not been bloody beaten.

Episode 47 >

Find me on:

Franjo’s Youtube Channel (For General Gaming Videos)

Prank Calls – Part 2 (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Mini-sode 45.5)

My phone’s ringing again.

< Episode 45

As I walk home from training, planning my evening around watching our next opponent Leiria’s last match and being shunned by my 2 cats, my phone starts to ring. I dig it out of my pocket to see that I’m being called by a withheld number. In light of recent events, I’m suspicious. I answer the call and hold the phone up to my ear. “Hello?” I say tentatively.

“Hello, is this Franjo?” Says a heavily accented voice on the other end.

“Yep” I reply curtly.

“Franjo, it’s a pleasure. This is Slaven Bilic. I’m calling to…”

“Oh, go fuck yourself” I reply, before hanging up. Roger has been unemployed for a full year now and is obviously struggling to fill the days. But should I feel bad? If you work in football you’ve got to learn how to deal with being sacked haven’t you. It’s not my fa… My phone’s ringing again. Withheld number. I answer.

“What is it, Roger?”

“This is Slaven Bilic”, spits Roger. “You go fuck yourself, you insolent little man.”

“Find a job and leave me alone” I plead.

“I have a job! I loaned you my player and you have not held up your end of the deal!” A long silence follows. Surely not. “You agreed with my staff that Domingos Quina would be a first team player. That’s why we allowed him to join you!” I feel the colour drain from my face. I try to reply but the most I can manage is to repeatedly open and close my mouth like a goldfish. “WELL?” He barks.

“SLAVEN BILIC” I yelp, unhelpfully.

“Yes.” He mutters, irritatedly. “Look, please could you stick to our agreement and play Domingos in your team?” He continues, as I whimper down the phone. This isn’t Roger. This is a Premier League Manager. This is a former Everton player. I had a fucking picture of this guy on my wall when I was a kid! My first contact with a big name in football and I’ve just told him to go fuck himself!

“I am hanging up now.” Says Bilic wearily. “Please stick to our agreement in future.” I continue to whimper as the line goes dead, before the whimper evolves into a high pitched, maniacal laugh. I sink down to a squatting position, still holding the phone to my ear, and pull my Angrense jersey up over my head. I need to be alone and I need to be invisible. I just made a complete arse of myself and I’ve got nobody to blame but… Roger.

Episode 46 >

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Beep Beep (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep45)

I’ve laid awake for the last few nights thinking, plotting and a few times even scheming.

< Episode 44

It’s that time again. I’ve long since forgotten how my long running one sided feud with former SC Angrense Manager Eduardo Almeida started. All I know is that I’ve got one more chance to beat him. And the way that I beat him is by beating Caldas.

In other monumentally exciting news, Lassina Touré made his international debut in Burkina Faso’s home friendly against Tunisia the other day. He came on at half time when the game was deadlocked at 0-0 but sadly he put in a sub-par performance and Tunisia ran out as 2-1 winners. I’m a bit gutted for him, but the silver lining is that he’s a bloody international footballer now!

I’ve also had to swat away another attempt by Miguel Borba to get me to sign a new contract. I suggested that we instead invest in our youth academy. It was a very subtle dig that I think went over his head. He rejected my counter offer.

Anyway, Caldas. Caldas, Caldas, Caldas. I’ve laid awake for the last few nights thinking, plotting and a few times even scheming. In my 3 attempts at beating Caldas in the past, I have used Project: Meatloaf, and lost, I have used Heróis Original and drawn, and I’ve used Project: Burnie and drawn again. This makes things tricky as I’m pretty sure that there’s nobody else in the Portuguese Championship that we’ve played against and not beaten at some point, well apart from a few teams in this promotion stage group, but we’ve still got another chance against them all. And what concerns me is that against Caldas, none of my systems seem to work.

We’ll line up with a tweaked version of Project: Meatloaf today. Tweaked in the sense that our shape will be a 4-1-2-3 instead of 4-2-3-1. We’ll show them respect, but we’ll still try to control the game and beat them.

We’ve ran into a spot of bad luck too, as both of our usual full backs are suspended for this match. Vitor Miranda and Mauro Aires both picked up a booking against União, taking them both to 5 for the season.

Nevertheless, I’ve seen enough of Coelho to convince me that he’s a solid option, so he’ll jump in on the left. Luciano Serpa is a man who I’ve not really played since signing him in the Summer, as Vitor Miranda is a difficult man to shift from my starting XI when he isn’t hacking down opponents. I don’t have a choice though, so he starts too. Hurley actually returns from his suspension and he’ll come in replacing Kevin, while Paulista starts on the left wing.

And as is becoming commonplace with this band of excellent bastards, we’re still on the verge of some records. Benjamim has entered the race with Amonike and Magina to beat Jordanes Medeiros’ assist record, but Magina leads the way having already equalled it. We’re also level with our club record unbeaten run in all competitions, and avoiding defeat today would set a new one of 16 matches without a loss. Bloody Belenenses.

“Why today?” I ask nobody in particular in the dressing room at half time. “We need to make something happen against these. We need to.” Nobody makes eye contact. That first half was one of our drabbest on record. Absolutely nothing happened. “Go out there, keep the ball, get a foothold in this match, and beat bloody Caldas!” I say assertively, before turning on my heels and marching back to the pitch.

They do seem to take my words to heart. With almost an hour played, Amonike swings a free kick in towards the near post. Benjamim takes it down and has a shot, but Paulo makes the save.

With 15 minutes to go, I throw on Kevin and Renato Silva for Paulista and CM9 in the hopes that their fresh legs will make the difference.

And then it happens – With 5 minutes of normal time to play, Amonike curls a corner to the far post. Renato Silva gets up to nod it back across goal, where Olivier heads it from a tight angle – Off the post. Goal kick.

I stand on the touchline with my hands on the back of my head and my fingers interlocked. I know that in the grand scheme of things, a draw against Caldas is fine. Yes, they’re one of the weaker sides in this group, but I’ll take every point I can get in our hunt for promotion. But I just wanted to finish this before I left. I just wanted to get the win over them. Just once.

In the 92nd minute, David Brás brings the ball forward threateningly for Caldas, and my heart jumps into my mouth. But Touré tackles him. Surely not. Touré plays the ball to Kevin on the right, who dribbles forwards and lays it back to Serpa. Surely not. The ball goes inside for Seidi, then back out for Benjamim, then down the line for Kevin. Surely not. Kevin slides a low cross towards the penalty spot…

I’ve done a lot of things wrong in my career so far, but I’ve also done a lot of things right. The day that sits at the pinnacle of the good decision pyramid in my mind is the 31st of January 2017. It was only a couple of days after I joined Angrense, and it was the day that I parted with £1,500 to secure the signature of Gonçalo Miguel Reyes Dias from Operário Lagoa. My most trusted Lieutenant. The footballer that I swear I will take with me wherever I go next. The man whose nickname was a gentle nod and a wink towards a large lovable character from a TV show that most people look back on with derision.

He only needs one touch. Hurley looks up and strokes the ball into the bottom corner.

As he comes sprinting towards the dugout with his arms held aloft, I feel a familiar wide smile stretch across my face. I hold my hand up for a high 5 as he sprints past, and Hurley does not leave me hanging. He never does.

It gives me great pleasure to draw a line through “Beat Caldas” on my Angrense bucket list. I’m sure that wherever Eduardo is, he couldn’t care less, but it would have left a sour taste in the mouth if I’d left without doing it. And now that that’s out of the way, everything else seems easy. We can beat Camacha away. We can beat anyone. We can win this fucking league.

We’re going classic Project: Meatloaf. Back comes Kevin, who’s now also joined the assist record race, along with Miranda and Aires. Out go Seidi, Serpa and Coelho. Move out of the way Camacha, Os Heróis are coming through. Beep Beep.

Specifically Amonike is coming through when Magina plays the ball into his path 10 minutes in. The winger runs through on goal, but his shot fizzes wide of the far post. Nearly quarter of an hour later, Kevin chips the ball to the far post from the left, and Amonike’s there again, but his header is saved by Jesus.

Half an hour in, he’s in the thick of it again, swinging a corner out to the far post. Kevin gets there and cushions a header down to Cristiano Magina, who shapes his body brilliantly as he, how can I put this, absolutely twats the ball into the top corner on the volley. Beep Beep.

A few minutes later, Camacha’s Camacho drives forward on the ball but shoots just high and wide of our goal, and then just before half time, Paulista breaks from a Camacha corner and plays the ball over the top for Amonike on the left. He gets level with the box and whips a cross in to the far side, where Kevin is waiting to take the ball down and slot it past the keeper. Beep Beep.

I’m a very happy man at half time, and rightly so. Vitor Miranda though is developing an annoying habit of ruining my good time. Within 2 minutes of the restart he pushes Roberto in the box and gives Camacha a penalty.

Luckily, for every Vitor Miranda there’s a Délcio Azevedo. He saves the centrally placed penalty and maintains our 2 goal cushion. I don’t know the exact number of penalties that he’s saved this season but that’s certainly not his first.

With 20 minutes left to play, Neto plays a good ball over our defence for Belo, who cracks a half volley against Azevedo’s bar. We respond by swapping our system to the new Heróis Counter and throwing Seidi on for Hurley.

In the dying minutes, Paulista tries to set up our third. First he tees up CM9 for a long range shot that Jesus saves, and then he plays Amonike through on the left. The winger chips the ball over to the far post and Magina’s close range header clips the bar as it goes over.

It doesn’t matter. The 3 points are ours. The 3 points are always ours.

Beep Beep, Camacha. Beep Beep.

Mini-sode 45.5

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Interview (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep44)

“Why should we hire you, Franjo?”

< Episode 44

“Why should we hire you, Franjo?” Asks Gian Carelse. I was expecting this question, of course I was. Who doesn’t expect this question in a job interview?

“Well,” I begin, “In the past 15 months I’ve transformed my Angrense side from a Championship Relegation Stage side into a team that are currently 1 point off the automatic promotion spot. I’ve spent under £10k, I’ve brought players through from the academy, some of which have been…” I shift uncomfortably in my seat. “…Sold on for club record fees. We’re unbeaten in 25 league matches and I think that I can bring similar success to your club” I conclude. My morning rehearsals paid off. I sound very impressive.

Gian’s expression doesn’t change. He continues to look at me coldly, almost like he’s studying me. “You only have 18 months experince…”

“I know! Imagine how good I’ll be in a few years!” I joke. I realise almost immediately that I have made the wrong decision.

“…And you have already experienced relegation” As Gian finishes his sentence I feel myself turn red. I begin to flail.

“Uhhhhh… No. Well yes, but…”

“The Black Leopards are currently in danger of relegation. Do you really consider yourself well equipped to save us?”

It’s a good question. Do I? Although Angrense were in the Relegation Stage when I arrived the quality in the squad meant that relegation was never a real concern. I’ve only had one shot at a survival race and I blew it. Höllviken is going to haunt me forever.

The Black Leopards, by the way, are a South African 2nd tier club that are currently 13th out of 16 clubs, and as Gian said they are in real danger of relegation. I applied for the vacant Manager’s position for a number of reasons, but mainly because I think they have the best name out of any football club. And to a lesser extent, I’d quite like to try my hand outside Europe.

The interview hasn’t gone as I had hoped though. I told Gian that I wouldn’t be able to join at the minute due to my hopes of Promotion for Angrense. I said that I’d be available at the end of the season. The Black Leopards’ Chairman, for whatever reason, didn’t take kindly to that. I suppose he wants a manager that’s able to join in time to prevent their relegation, which is probably fair. I don’t have high hopes that I’ll get the job.

Anyway, let’s fast forward a few days and focus on the matter in hand. I still have a top 2 finish to secure and our next 2 matches will be very big ones indeed. We play Mafra today, the League leaders, and then União da Madeira next week, who are almost certainly going to be in the mix for the top 2.

More records are waiting to be broken today too: Magina’s now 3 goals away from a Championship record, a win today would be a new Club record, and avoiding defeat would make this a record unbeaten run in the Championship. No pressure though, eh?

I’ll be making a few changes for today’s game. Délcio Azevedo’s shoulder has mended so he’ll come back into the first team, along with Mauro Aires and Domingos Quina. I almost forgot about the West Ham man since Jeferson Paulista arrived, but Kevin’s been quiet lately so he’ll be dropped to the bench, Paulista will play on the left, and Quina can have another crack at the number 10 spot.

Magina bruises his thigh in the opening minutes, which is not at all ideal. This is a big match and we really need to be firing on all cylinders.

Within quarter of an hour, Varão has a close range shot saved by Azevedo and Jimmy rattles the post with a drive from 20 yards, as the pessimism continues to be poured onto the occasion. We disband plans to control the game and retreat to a more standard mentality.

That does the trick, sort of. The next thing I know, an hour has passed and I’m bringing Kevin on for the ineffective Quina.

With 20 minutes to play, Amonike floats in a cross from our corner, Rafael Golano heads the ball away, but it falls perfectly for Jeferson Paulista, who crashes a half volley in at the near post. My jaw drops as I watch it happen. We really are unstoppable.

Not keen to let the lead slip, I swap us to a counter attacking 4-1-2-3 system, bringing Seidi on for Magina and shoving Kevin up front for possibly the first time so that the big man can rest his bruised thigh.

With full time approaching, Rúby comes on for Benjamim and we go to our trusty withdrawn 4-2-3-1. We see the match out, and in doing so, write ourselves into Angrense and Portuguese Championship history. We are unbeaten in 26 league games and we’ve won 18 times in the division this season. Vamos bloody Heróis.

Magina misses training for a few days but he’s back in plenty of time for our next match.

Miguel Borba calls me during the week and asks if I’d like to open contract talks, but I politely decline before hanging up and insulting the shit out of him. Unfortunately, Gian Carelse calls just minutes later, to give me the bad news. I won’t have the enviable title of Black Leopards Manager next season. My search for a new club continues.

I think I’ll just leave the job hunt for now. I’ll finish the season here and then start applying again. Nobody’s going to want to hire me if I can’t join instantly anyway. Anyone that might want me at the minute will most likely be stuck in a relegation scrap and will want their manager in pronto.

The rejection of a South African minnow with a really cool name is not the only annoying thing that’s happened either. União have climbed above us in the League, despite us sitting in 2nd and beating 1st place Mafra. So now we’re still in 2nd behind União. I suppose we just have to do to them exactly what we did to Mafra.

We’ll play on our new counter attacking Heróis Original system, which I may or may not rename to something more apt at some point. Hurley is suspended after picking up his 10th yellow against Mafra, but thank fuck for Portuguese league rules, it’s still only a 1 match ban. Kevin also comes back in for Quina as my experiment last week fell flat on its face.

Our title challenge takes a knock instantly. With under a minute gone in the match, Olivier trips Wangler in the box. It could be the start of a horrific 90 minutes, but Flávio Silva’s powerful penalty is well saved by Vitor Azevedo. We breathe a huge sigh of relief.

And within 5 minutes, the tables are completely turned on União. After such a promising first minute, the breakthrough goes to us. Kevin breaks down the right wing and drills it in towards the near post, where Amonike arrives to tuck the ball into the net.

About 15 minutes later it’s all square again when Wangler’s free kick deflects off Benjamim in the wall and sends Azevedo the wrong way, but within another minute Benjamim’s shot deflects through to the far post, and Magina gets there the fastest to put us back into the lead. It’s been a breathless opening 25 minutes.

The next 25 minutes are not so breathless. Half time comes and goes without incident, and it’s not until the 53rd minute that Magina squares the ball to Benjamim in front of an empty net. It’s an opportunity that our midfielder doesn’t waste and he puts us 3-1 up.

I take the opportunity to thank our lucky stars, and then retreat to the relative safety that I keep finding in our withdrawn 4-2-3-1. We go all out defence.

Kévin Rodrigues’ 2nd yellow for a trip on Amonike makes União’s day go from bad to worse, and helps us to secure our precious, precious points.

The last 8 days could not have gone better. We’ve picked up 6 points against 2 teams who were at the top of the Championship Promotion Stage Group B, and we now find ourselves back at the top and 2 points clear. Roll on April.

Episode 45

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Prank Calls (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Mini-sode 43.5)

I look at the phone to see that the call is coming from a withheld number. The time is 1:34am.

< Episode 43

I’m awoken by the sound of my mobile ringing on my bedside table. In my half asleep state I fling out an arm to reach it, but with the zero coordination I possess in the moment, my poor hand smacks straight into the side of the table. Cursing loudly, I swing my legs out of the bed and sit up, grabbing the phone violently like it’d just personally inflicted my injury. I look at the phone to see that the call is coming from a withheld number. The time is 1:34am.

“Hello?” I snap irritatedly.

“Och Aye”, chirps the ambiguously accented voice on the other end of the phone, “It’s Sir Alex Fergietime, I just wanted to tell you how much I look up to and admire you as a Manager” the voice says, seemingly through a fit of giggles.

“Who is this?” I bark. The line goes dead.

Annoyed, I settle back down in bed, and after a few minutes I start to doze. Shortly afterwards though, my phone rings again. This time I leap out of bed and grab it instantly. Seeing that the number is blocked again, I answer aggressively.

“What?” I shout.

“DILLY DING DILLY DONG” Squeals the equally unrecognisably accented voice in reply. “It’s me, Sir Claudio Ranieri. I want you to take over Chelsea when I leave because I respect you so, so much” The layers of sarcasm coming through the phone are so thick that I’m afraid they’ll drip out onto the floor.

“How long has it been since you’ve followed football?” I ask with a sigh. The giggles on the other end are very clearly audible. “And Ranieri’s not even a…”

“Hey it’s me, Fat Sam”, says the suddenly incredibly gruff attempt at a Northern English accent.

“Fat Sam yeah?” I ask flatly. The voice goes quiet. “It’s Big Sam, and you sound like Bollo, you dick.”

“Who?” Replies the voice. I’m taken aback. There’s a familiarity to the accent now. I don’t think this one’s put on. It’s the kind of voice that makes you want to start kicking water bottles and flipping tables, so that the connect 4 sets that sat on top of them go hurtling towards the ground.

“Roger?”

The line goes dead.

Episode 44 >

Find me on:

Franjo’s Youtube Channel (For General Gaming Videos)

Miniature Heróis – Part 2 (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep43)

There’s a real buzz amongst the youth staff about Rodrigo Silva.

< Episode 42

As I make my way up to a good vantage point in the stands of Estádio Municipal de Angra do Heroismo, I turn and look at the players warming up. My eyes scan their faces, searching for someone I’ve been told to look out for.

“Where is he then, Vitor?” I ask, as I turn to face Vitor Azevedo, SC Angrense Head of Youth Development and no relation to our goalkeeper.

“There he is”, he smiles, pointing out a young lad in the middle of the park.

There’s a real buzz amongst the youth staff about Rodrigo Silva. He’s a 16 year old local lad and has already been offered a contract with the Under 19’s squad. This match is a mere formality for him. He’s a holding midfielder with a growing reputation for making the right decisions and being difficult to push off of the ball.

Silva and the other candidates will face off against our Under 19 side. Well I say that, but it’s pretty much an Angrense B team. Most of the side is made up of players who’ve had a run in the first team at some point. In fact, in their defence is 3 quarters of the defence that started for the first team last season, so it’ll be a tough test for the young ones.

The Under 19’s take the lead early on in fortunate circumstances when Leão’s deflected shot runs through for Thiago, and the centre midfielder pokes the ball past the keeper.

The 25th minute gets my nostalgia tingling when O Capitão and Under 19’s Manager Gonçalo Valadão hits the post with a powerful free kick, but then after half an hour, goalscorer Thiago pushes Ribeiro in the box and young Rodrigo Silva confidently wallops the youth candidates’ penalty into the net.

Before half time Xéxé’s low cross is bundled in by Arruda to put the Under 19’s back in front. They hold onto the lead through the 2nd half despite the youth candidates dominating. Andrade hits the woodwork and Serginho is forced into good saves by Amorim and Rodrigo Silva, but they fail to find the equaliser.

Promising stuff from the youth candidates. They went down swinging against a much more experienced side and I’ll be keeping an eye on them. Rodrigo, the jewell of the side, faired very well in the “Benjamim” role of Project: Meatloaf. He showed a willingness to get forward to support attacks and did well defensively, as well as staying composed for the penalty.

In terms of our first team, it’s time for Casa Pia to come to town. Casa Pia are the side that lost in the Promotion play-offs last year after finishing 2nd in Group B. They’re one of the favourites to go up along with União da Madeira, who we play in a couple of weeks.

We’ll set up with Project: Meatloaf with focus down the wings, as we do when a team sets up in a narrow shape like Casa Pia’s narrow diamond. That means we keep Coelho in at left back for his ability to attack. In fact, the only change we make from our victory over Barreirense is that Vitor Miranda comes back in for Luciano Serpa as his suspension has ended.

Oh, and another record is looming for Cristiano Magina! Unsurprisingly, he’s on course to break the record for Number of goals in a Portuguese Championship season. And he wanted me to sell him for £30k.

The first half is largely uneventful until Casa Pia’s right back João Damil gets free and whips in a cross for Rodrigues, who controls the ball and finishes calmly to put the home side ahead with 5 minutes to play before the break.

The only action in the 2nd half comes about just after the hour mark when Kevin, making his 200th Angrense appearance, releases Diogo Coelho on the left wing. Coelho swings the ball into the area and Magina rises above the centre backs to power the ball home.

We try to play more methodically around Casa Pia’s penalty area, we try to attack, we try to pass the ball into space and we try roaming with more freedom from our positions, but nothing I tell us to do breaks the deadlock.

The game fizzles out, we keep our unbeaten run going with a credible draw, and Magina edges closer to a league record. I think we’ll take that. We do slip down to 2nd in the League behind Mafra, but I’m not too concerned. Partially because with each match that passes we’re proving more and more that we’ve got what it takes to go up against anyone in this division, and partially because we play them next.

Mini-sode 43.5 >

Find me on:

Franjo’s Youtube Channel (For General Gaming Videos)

Instant Impact (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep42)

We need someone who can slot straight into the team and give us a boost.

< Episode 41

“Franjo!” Pipes up a short, heavily tanned fellow towards the back of the room. “Diário Insular”, he continues once he sees that he has my attention. “Do you see Paulista as a direct replacement for Carlos Antunes?”

I think for a moment, before replying “Things have changed in Hero Cr… I mean, Angra do Heroismo in the last couple of months. Our priorities have changed and I thought that we needed someone who could make an instant impact. I believe Jeferson is that someone.”

It saddens me slightly to say it, but it’s the truth. The priority for me is no longer playing the long game or giving the youth of Angra a chance, the priority is short term success. We need someone who can slot straight into the team and give us a boost. We’ve drawn our first 2 matches, which isn’t awful, but I’d rather we start picking up enough wins to get promoted.

“And what about Domingos Quina? Did you not bring him in to be a first team player?” Inquires the Diário Insular reporter.

“Domingos is still in my plans,” I say firmly, “But it would be unfair of me to ask him to take up the mantle of being our main creator alone. Now we have good competition for the number 10 spot, which is never a bad thing.”

Jeferson Paulista, to state the bleeding obvious, is our newest signing. He’s yet another player that we’ve brought in from Santa Clara, after Serginho and Coelho last year, but unlike those 2 he cost us £3k and become my record signing. To be honest though, I think we’ve bagged ourselves a bargain.

Do you remember Elano at Manchester City? Jeferson reminds me quite a lot of Elano: A skilful and technically brilliant Brazillian who’s also capable of the odd screamer. He’s a true number 10 at the top of his game and he should be much more comfortable behind Magina than Hurley or Quina have been.

And while we’re talking transfers, I’ve accepted a £2k bid for Hélder Arruda from Penafiel, a Liga Pro side. He’s currently negotiating a contract with them.

Anyway, we follow up our last gasp draw away at Caldas with a trip to Leiria, and then a trip to Barreirense. It’s hardly ideal to have 3 away matches in a row but I suppose it should at least give me a couple more chances to find the winning counter attacking formula that I’ve been looking for.

Leiria also present a different sort of challenge today as they play a narrow 4-3-3. I’m not sure off the top of my head how many times I’ve played against teams in this formation, but all it reminds me of nowadays is Husqvarna. And relegation. And unemployment.

I resist the urge to have a traumatic flashback and go about setting my side up in a tweaked version of our Heróis Original system. We’ll focus our play down the wings like we sometimes do with Project: Meatloaf, we’ll play on the counter and we’ll play slightly narrower in the hopes that we’ll deny Leiria space to play in the middle. We’ll also have Coelho come into the side, using his attacking prowess to overlap Kevin on the left. Jaime Seidi comes in for Arruda to fill the holding man role and Hurley keeps his place behind Magina. My new number 16 is ready and waiting on the bench though.

Also, we’re on the brink of an Angrense record for number of wins in a season. So far we’ve won 15 matches, the record as it stands is 17.

Azevedo picks up a damaged shoulder early in the match. This isn’t ideal, as I never have keepers on the bench, but luckily it’s just a knock and he plays on.

It’s Leiria who start the game well: Bernardo crosses to the near post after 5 minutes and Allef cracks the ball off the woodwork. A couple of minutes later, our corner is half cleared and Seidi squares it for hurley on the edge of the area, but his shot is straight at Leiria’s keeper, Bonet.

A few minutes after that chance though, we break the deadlock. Amonike’s cross from the byline deflects through to Benjamim. His shot is saved well by Bonet but Magina is on hand to boot the ball in on the rebound.

We still don’t stop coming forward, another minute or so passes before Amonike chips the ball into the near post and Magina rifles in his and our second. We seem content after that to take our foot off the pedal and aside from a booking for Miranda just before half time, we play out 60 extremely quiet minutes.

I bring on Paulista for his debut, replacing Hurley in the Brazilian’s favoured number 10 role, but with about 15 minutes to play, Leiria go close twice when Asprilla’s shot is charged down by Touré, and from the resulting corner, João Almeida boots the ball just over.

To see out the last 10 minutes I drop us back to a deep 4-2-3-1, with 2 holding men and 3 across midfield. Rúby comes on for Kevin and joins Seidi in front of the defence, and Paulista heads out to the left wing where he’s also pretty comfortable.

Before you could say “Don’t fuck this up” though, Miranda picks up one of his patented meaningless red cards after a second yellow, but Serpa replaces Benjamim and moves to right back and we see the game out with some degree of comfort.

The win is a massive relief. We were good value for it and we’ve now got 5 points from 3 matches, which is probably about as good a start as we could have hoped for.

So, despite the fact that our next match is another away one, it’s Barreirense. I think if we want to have any hope of making the top 2 we need to win both matches against Barreirense. Having said that, Azevedo will be out for 2 weeks with his shoulder, despite the fact that he struggled through the Leiria match, keeping a clean sheet in the process. Miranda also misses out having received an automatic 1 match ban for his red card, and Benjamim makes up our missing trio when he picks up the mother of all stubbed toes in training, which will keep him out for an entire week.

In other news, although Magina has been on 9 assists for what seems like the entire season, he’s now been joined on that tally by Amonike, so both of them are only 1 away from equalling Medeiros’ record.

They’ll both get the chance to pull level today as they’ll both unsurprisingly start. Serginho and Serpa come in as like-for-like replacements for Azevedo and Miranda, and Hurley drops back into Benjamim’s central spot as an attacking central midfielder. This leaves a space behind Magina, so Jeferson Paulista starts for his full debut.

Sometimes the Gods of football are completely and unapologetically shit. You know what I’m talking about. That time that the team you support hit the bar 3 times and lost 1-0. That time that your club’s new signing broke his leg in his first training session. That time when your club got knocked out of the Cup Semi Final by a goal that shouldn’t have stood.

But sometimes, just sometimes, the Gods of football are on your side. And when they are… It’s just the fucking best.

8 minutes into our mach in Barreiro, we win a free kick in a central position, right outside the penalty area. Jeferson Paulista steps up on his full debut – And strikes it perfectly. It fizzes over the wall and so far into the top corner that I momentarily wondered whether it was possible for the ball to get stuck between the post and crossbar.

I am ecstatic. So ecstatic in fact that I try to awkwardly belly bounce Pedro for the first and probably last time. God I needed that goal. My passion to manage this club certainly didn’t disappear after Borba’s transfer hijinks but it definitely took a knock. I needed a moment like that to remind me what it’s all about. I asked for an instant impact from my new number 10 and an instant impact is what he’s had. And in case I wasn’t clear, what a bloody goal.

Alas, the feel-good atmosphere is short lived. Almost 5 minutes later, Felix’s powerful drive is tipped onto the post by Serginho, and Severino reacts quickly to get to the loose ball, before driving it low into the far corner of the net. Shortly afterwards, Severino plays a pass behind our defence, giving Caraballo a golden opportunity to give the home side the lead, but he shoots straight at Serginho from 8 yards out.

Under a minute later, Magina does the same for Hurley, playing a good pass in front of him in the penalty box, but his shot is saved well by Elói’s outstretched hand.

It all goes a bit quiet until shortly after the break. Barreirense’s corner is cleared by Paulista and we counter quickly. Amonike gets the ball on the right and plays it inside to Hurley, who squares the ball to Kevin in acres of space. Kevin unselfishly knocks the ball forward a few yards so that Magina can blast the ball into the back of the net, giving us the lead. To be honest though, from where I was sitting he was definitely offside.

Barreirense come back at us with the kitchen sink, forcing me to bring back our nice withdrawn 4-2-3-1. Rúby replaces Kevin to once again form the holding man partnership with Seidi, but the chances keep coming for the home team. Breimyr drives forward and shoots just wide and Altaír Júnior rifles the ball against the post with 15 minutes to play. I try to make us more solid, more narrow and less inclined to close the ball down and open space for Barreirense. Silva comes on for a late cameo, and in the 91st minute, Severino too smashes a low shot against the post.

It may not have been pretty, it may not have been convincing, but 3 points is 3 points is 3 points. We’ve risen up the top of the league with 8 points, but something tells me that staying there is going to be the difficult part.

Oh, and how’s this for an instant impact? I like this guy.

Episode 43 >

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Franjo’s Youtube Channel (For General Gaming Videos)

Back Pocket (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep41)

I’ve been looking forward to this.

< Mini-sode 40.5.5

I barely slept last night. I have absolutely no idea how the next few months are going to play out. The thing that I keep reassuring myself with is that we are in incredible form. But the thought that always immediately follows is that we’ve been playing against bad teams and now we’re going to be playing against good ones.

When I did finally sleep, I had that same old dream again. I walk up the gravel road towards Monte Brasil under the dark red clouds, and continue up the winding path towards Pico das Cruzinhas. Half way up, a glum looking golden retriever drags himself along behind me, before disappearing in a puff of smoke. When I reach the top, I get the same sense of foreboding that I always get, and I see the same thing that I always see.

Miguel Borba is standing at the viewpoint, at the top of the hill overlooking Angra do Heroismo, and he’s throwing my players off into the darkness one by one. I stand there, eyes wide in horror, but I’m paralysed and unable to help, or speak. When he’s thrown the last of my team into the inky abyss, he grabs me by the collar of my trusty grey coat and throws me after them. And then I’m falling. And the ground is rushing up to meet me. And I jolt awake again, sweating through my Angrense branded pyjamas.

But today is not the day to be worrying about that, today is the day of our first match. And at least we’ll start off at home. Camacha are coming to town and I decide to keep largely the same team that I used for most of the first phase. We’ll keep Project: Burnie in our back pocket for now as we’re the home side and I don’t want to start on the counter. We’ll use Project: Meatloaf as per usual.

Obviously Antunes and Batista are no longer available, so Amonike and new loan signing Domingos Quina start, and the ever reliable Jaime Seidi comes in for our suspended centre back Olivier.

Before 10 minutes have passed, Rúben leaves our crossbar shaking with a well struck free kick from just outside the area. I tell Os Heróis to abandon any ideas about controlling the match and just play our most standard game instead.

25 minutes in, we hit Camacha on the counter attack and Benjamim squares the ball for new boy Quinos, but the West Ham midfielder floats his shot over the bar when he really should’ve hit the target.

The rest of the half is tight and action-less, and our next opportunity comes when Kevin lumps the ball over the top of the Camacha defence with 10 minutes of the second half gone. Magina runs through on goal, takes aim for the top left corner, but his execution is slightly off and the ball flies just over.

Our 2 chances so far have come on the counter, so for the last half hour we set up to play exclusively on the counter. Rúby and Silva come on replacing Quina and Magina, with Rúby dropping back and allowing Hurley to take up the number 10 role.

Just a couple of minutes later, Rúby runs forward from deep and has a good crack at goal, but Jesus saves it well.

With 10 minutes to play, Renato Silva plays through Benjamim, and the box to box midfielder has a shot from inside the area, but the ball cracks off the bar. The match ends goalless.

In my book, an opening day draw is never a bad thing. A loss in your first match of any league can really put the side in a bad place mentally, but a draw, especially a draw which you were unlucky not to turn into a win, is fine. It inspires hope and optimism for the games ahead.

Caldas are next. I’ve been looking forward to this ever since we found out who we’d be playing against in the Promotion Stage. I reach into my back pocket, and pull out Project: Burnie.

The first half is tense and quiet, as first halfs often have been this season for us. It’s not until the 52nd minute that the first chance is carved out, when Caldas’ Cruz completes a patient passing move by passing the ball into the area for Rodrigues. The attacking midfielder slots it in to put the home side ahead.

We fail to fashion any noteworthy chances. We have a few decent shots but with 5 minutes left to play, we’re staring down the barrel of our first defeat of the season. I withdraw Arruda and bring on Renato Silva.

In the 90th minute, we win a free kick on the right. My staff, our 2 travelling fans and I watch on with silent anticipation as the Caldas fans whistle and boo. The atmosphere is hostile and I don’t know about the players, but I’m extremely nervous. We need to rise above it. We need a goal and we need it now.

Olivier steps up and curls it into the box, and Touré goes for the ball. He doesn’t get it though. He doesn’t get it because Juvenal charges in and pushes the centre back to the floor. The referee blows his whistle and points to the spot.

The whistles and boos from the home fans grow louder and louder as Cristiano Magina places the ball on the spot. He is focussed and he is confident. Our prolific striker steps up – and smashes the ball into the top left corner.

I don’t celebrate the goal. The players celebrate, as do my coaching staff, Pedro and both of the fans. But not me. I’ve failed today. I thought that a new system would freshen us up and allow us to finally clinch victory over Caldas, but it didn’t. We got let off and we keep our unbeaten run going thanks to some bad defending. It doesn’t feel good.

It’s back to the drawing board as far as Project: Burnie is concerned.

Episode 42

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Project: Burnie (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Mini-sode 40.5.5)

It’s time for Project: Burnie.

< Mini-sode 40.5

So this it it, I think as I sit on my tiny bed in my studio flat. My last 14 matches in Portugal (Or 15/16 if we do well). So far in my Angrense career, we’ve mainly gone up against lesser sides, but not anymore. I reckon, despite the media’s predictions, that Barreirense are the weakest club in this group. Well, they’re there or there abouts, admittedly I don’t know enough about most of the other teams. But look at last season: Caldas and Camacha topped their relegation groups, União da Madeira were a Liga Pro side, Casa Pia lost in the Promotion play off, and Mafra and Leiria finished mid table in their Promotion Group. We finished 2nd in our relegation stage group and Barreirense were 3rd in theirs, so we’d probably be considered 2 of the weakest sides here. And our matches against Barreirense this season have been no walk in the park: They went ahead twice in Hero Creek and probably should have beaten us in Barreiro.

My point is that I’m worried. We’ll face tougher opposition in the next few months than we have at any point during my Angrense reign and we need to be prepared for that. We start with a home match against Camacha. They’re no doubt formidable opposition but I have to admit I’ve already got one eye on the following match – Away at Caldas. I feel like we’ll need to go off-book for that match, and for a few other matches in this league, what with us being against some of the best Championship clubs and all.

I look around my flat to see that Meatloaf and Burnie are scrapping again. They’re always scrapping. I’ve mentioned before what an arse hole Meatloaf is, in fact in a weird way I’ve built a career on what an arse hole he is. But every now and then, passive, patient Burnie has his day. Every now and then, while Meatloaf has the poor lad pinned down and dominated with his aggression, Burnie strikes back, catching his brother off guard.

Can you see where I’m going with this?

It’s time for Project: Burnie.

With Project: Burnie we will play on the counter, luring our opposition into a false sense of security and dominance, and then striking quickly on the break with our claws out.

Our back 4 will be a wall in front of Azevedo’s goal, as it has been for much of my time in Hero Creek. Their job will be simple in that I will not be asking them to do anything other than defend. To win the ball and hoof it clear. Miranda, Touré, Olivier and Aires will start as the most solid defenders I have at my disposal.

Our midfield will consist of a second bank of 4, because nothing says solidity like 2 banks of 4. The central midfielders, it won’t shock you to know, will be Hurley and Benjamim. Hurley has proven in the past that he can play as more of a deep lying playmaker than an attacking midfielder, staying back to help out the defence, so that’s what he’ll be doing. Benjamim next to him will be doing what Benjamim does – Running his heart out between our box and theirs, being a nuisance and an option in equal measure.

Either side of our dynamic duo will be Amonike on right wing, taking on defenders and swinging crosses in like he does, and Kevin on the left, building up play less agressively. I want him to look to switch the play to Amonike, or play killer passes to one of our two strikers.

That’s correct. Two strikers. I’ve rarely utilised a striking partnership in my career so far, but I feel like giving it a try. I have 3 good centre forwards at my disposal and it’s about time I pair them up. Plus it’s no good being solid at the back if we aren’t equipped to threaten at the other end.

I pick Magina and Arruda. They’re both able to do any job required of a centre forward: They can both link up play, run channels, get behind defences, hold the ball up and bring team mates into play. But I want their jobs to be clear in their mind, so Magina will lead the line and Arruda will be the deeper lying second striker, carving out chances and linking up play.

So there it is: Project: Burnie in all its glory. A more direct, higher tempo 4-4-2. We’re going to need to hit some of these teams on the break, and this should do the job purrr-fectly.

OK fine, but if Meatloaf and Burnie were here they’d be laughing their little feline faces off.

Episode 41 >

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Franjo’s Youtube Channel (For General Gaming Videos)

PT Championship – Promotion Stage Group B (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Mini-sode 40.5)

Because I’m staying, we’ll need to get to know our new group: The Promotion Stage Group B.

< Episode 40

So my decision has been made. I’m staying with Angrense. I’m pretty sure I’ve made the right decision, but of course if Borba sells Hurley and Magina in the next couple of days I’ll feel like a bit of an idiot.

Because I’m staying, we’ll need to get to know our new group: The Promotion Stage Group B.

Barreirense

From: Barreiro

Ground: Campo da Verderena

First Phase Position (Out of 10): 2nd in Group G, behind us

Last Season: 3rd in Relegation Stage Group G

Predicted: 6th

Rivals in Group B: N/A

Caldas

From: Caldas da Rainha

Ground: Campo da Mata

First Phase Position (Out of 10): 1st in Group E

Last Season: 1st in Relegation Stage Group F

Predicted: 8th

Rivals in Group B: Leiria (Fierce, Historic)

Camacha

From: Camacha

Ground: Complexo Desportivo da Camacha

First Phase Position (Out of 10): 2nd in Group H

Last Season: 1st in Relegation Stage Group B

Predicted: 7th

Rivals in Group B: N/A

Casa Pia

From: Lisboa

Ground: Estádio Pina Manique

First Phase Position (Out of 10): 2nd in Group F

Last Season: 2nd in Promotion Stage Group B, Lost 2-3 on aggregate to Sporting B in Promotion Play off

Predicted: 5th

Rivals in Group B: N/A

Leiria

From: Leiria

Ground: Estádio Municipal de Leiria

First Phase Position (Out of 10): 2nd in Group E

Last Season: 5th in Promotion Stage Group B

Predicted: 2nd

Rivals in Group B: N/A

Mafra

From: Mafra

Ground: Campo Dr. Mario Silveira

First Phase Position (Out of 10): 1st in Group F

Last Season: 4th in Promotion Stage Group B

Predicted: 3rd

Rivals in Group B: N/A

União da Madeira

From: Ribeira Brava

Ground: Centro Desportivo da Madeira

First Phase Position (Out of 10): 1st in Group H

Last Season: Relegated, 20th in Liga Pro

Predicted: 1st

Rivals in Group B: N/A

Oh, this is delicious. I have a few months left in Portugal and if I could have had my pick of any side to be put in a group with, do you know who I’d pick?

Of course you do.

I’d pick Caldas.

Caldas are more than an opposition team for me. They’re more than a rival even. They’re a metaphor. They are my Everest. My predecessor Eduardo Almeida couldn’t beat them and they are the milestone that I set myself last year to prove that I was a worthy manager at this level. A win over Caldas would represent how far we’ve come and how far I’ve come. Last year they demolished our relegation stage group and they demolished us. But this time, to misquote Baddiel, Skinner & The Lightning Seeds, We are strong. We have grown.

Caldas are predicted to finish last in the group and we’re predicted 4th, which already speaks volumes, but I want to see the official result in black and white when we beat them. I never got to become Franjo, Who Crushed Caldas, but I still can.

Remember when I took this job I made a slapdash overview of how the leagues work? I’ll link it here so that you can get a refresher on how the promotion stage is structured.

Mini-sode 12.5

In short, we need a top 2 finish. Anything below that means we stay in the Championship, which seriously dampens my chances of being snapped up by a bigger side. A 2nd place finish means we’ll play off against one of the Liga Pro sides for promotion, and a top place finish means we win promotion and we play off against the winner of group A to determine who wins the Championship.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go and listen to Three Lions and Three Lions ’98 on a loop for a few hours.

Mini-sode 40.5.5 >

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Franjo’s Youtube Channel (For General Gaming Videos)

The Decision (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep40)

I’ve thought long and hard about where my future lies over the last couple of weeks.

< Episode 39

I’ve thought long and hard about where my future lies over the last couple of weeks. Miguel Borba has made it impossible for me to stay in the long term. His interference in the transfer market has cost us 2 fantastic, young, home grown footballers. And for a fraction of their true value. Yes, if Carlos Antunes makes it then Angrense might see some more cash. At least his deal includes several clauses and a big chunk of the next transfer fee. The thing that makes this so much worse is that he accepted a bid for Batista that is not only £20k less than other bids we have received, but also includes no future clauses whatsoever. In his greed he’s potentially cheated Angrense and himself out of a lot of money.

Borba has set a precedent. I’m pretty sure that it’s a matter of when, not if, he accepts derisory bids for star striker Cristiano Magina, his potential replacement Renato Silva, and all of the other players that are in demand. This makes my long term future absolutely impossible.

Having said that, I have unfinished business with this club. I want to see them through the promotion stage. And I need to be smart. I was so, so close to resigning, but who’s going to want me right now? I’m pretty sure the best case scenario is a sideways step to a similar club and I’ll have to get to know them and shape them all over again. The worst case scenario is another few months on the dole, and then a move to a worse club.

So here’s the plan: I’m going to stay. I’m going to keep well away from Borba and get Os Heróis promoted despite him. After promotion I will be headhunted by a bigger side. And when I accept their offer, I’m going to bid pennies for Magina, Hurley, Silva, Kevin, Benjamim, Olivier and all the other good players at this club. And Borba’s going to accept my offers because he’s a stupid, useless arse hole.

Of course, this all hinges on my ability to win promotion. I’ve made my mind up: I will let my contract run down and I will leave at the end of the season. If we go up, I should be fine, but if I fail to win promotion my future may still be bleak. Yes, we’ve won 15 out of 18 matches in the first phase of the Championship, but as I said way, way back at the start of the season, our group was weak. Astonishingly weak. We’re now going up against the best teams the Championship has to offer, and we need to finish in the top 2 in our group of 8.

Am I apprehensive? Yes.

Will I relish the challenge? Yes.

Do I back us to pull it off? Fucking right I do.

Mini-sode 40.5 >

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A Lot To Think About (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep39)

I’m going to take our week off as an opportunity to think.

https://youtu.be/AF1ODRGo8P4

< Mini-sode 38.5

My immediate urge once I left Angrense’s training ground was to jump on a plane. I’m livid. After initially backing down in January, The Chairman has followed through in selling one of our brightest young talents behind my back. I very nearly resigned, but I’m going to take our week off as an opportunity to think. I’ll make a decision on my future before the Promotion stage starts.

In the meantime, I give Pedro the reigns so that I can sort my head out. He’ll take control of training this week, and of the friendly I’ve set up against Norwegian Premier League side Fredrikstad on Sunday. The only thing that I need to do this week is sign a replacement for Antunes in case I decide to stay. I’ve also told Hélder Arruda he can leave in search of first team football, but I’m not answering the bloody phone. Borba can sort that for him seeing as he’s so keen on shipping my players out.

I spend most of the week before our friendly wandering around Hero Creek, doing nothing in particular. I arrange a few trials for different players, which probably means that I’ll need to show up at training at some point to assess them, but that can wait.

I decide to watch our friendly against Fredrikstad. It’s a home tie so I may as well. I don’t want Pedro or the team to know, so I get Nuno to sneak me into Estádio Municipal de Angra do Heroismo without anybody seeing. I want to watch the team not as a Manager, but as a fan. I want a sign. Something to tell me what I should do.

When the stands are partially filled and the teams come out onto the pitch, I look through them one by one. This is the first time I’ve given Pedro control over team selection and I’m interested to see how he’ll line up.

Serginho in net, fair enough. Miranda, Oliveira, Olivier, Coelho across the back. Bit of a weird choice playing the man who’s already agreed a move, but OK, I’m onboard otherwise. I’m then surprised to see that Pedro has opted for a midfield entirely made up of trialists. Starting in the double pivot are the short but ferocious box to box midfielder António Gonçalves, whose parent club Sheffield Wednesday have allowed him to join up with us for a few weeks, and Nicolas Garmendia, a skilful playmaker on trial from Udinese. In front of them from right to left are Al Hassan Lamin, a big powerful winger from Lazio, Domingos Quina, a quick and tricky playmaker from West Ham United, and Asumah Abubakar, a similarly quick and tricky striker or winger from Willem II. Hélder Arruda leads the line. This should be interesting.

It’s a good match from an Angrense point of view. We dominate entirely. I expected us to struggle against a side from the top tier in Norway, but we play well, especially the trialists.

Al Hassan Lamin scores an excellent goal to break the deadlock in the 2nd half, dribbling round a couple of defenders before placing the ball into the far corner from outside the box. Abubakar doubles our lead after he runs behind the Fredrikstad defence, latches onto a Garmendia pass and slots the ball home. Armstrong pulls one back with a superb volley, but we hold on for the win.

I’m impressed, but more importantly the match excites me. I find myself still jumping up when we score, still pumping my fist and singing Vamos Heróis with the fans. I still love this place. I just don’t know whether I can carry on at the helm. This has given me a lot to think about.

For now though, I want to bring in a few of these trialists. They’re all at comparatively huge clubs and we’ve got no chance of signing them permanently, so I make loan bids for Al Hassan Lamin, Domingos Quina and Asumah Abubakar. I consider bidding for António Gonçalves, but to be fair we’ve already got Rúby in the same mould and his game time is limited as it is. All 3 bids are accepted but in the end, Hassan Lamin and Abubakar reject the opportunity to join us, leaving Domingos as our lone loan signing. He’s the important one to be fair. We needed an attacking midfielder most of all.

As we move towards the first match of the Promotion Stage, and with my decision looming, I get a phone call. It’s Pedro. He’s heard from one of the board members that Borba has sold Fernando Batista. I sigh. I’m not at all surprised, but he may have just made my decision for me.

Episode 40 >

Find me on:

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Franjo Vs Borba – Part 2 (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Mini-sode 38.5)

The next morning as I walk into training, I look for Antunes. I want to apologise.

< Episode 38

I received a phone call this morning from Carlos Antunes. I’m not sure what it could be about and we’ve got no training today, but it sounded urgent so I’ve come into our training facility to meet him. I’m there a few minutes before him so I pour a couple of glasses of water and wait in my office.

“Carlos!” I smile when he enters the room. “What’s going on mate?” I cringe slightly at myself. I suddenly feel like the kind of teacher who sits backwards on his chair in order to “relate”. Carlos looks uncomfortable as he sits down.

“I would like to ask your permission to join Guimarães.” He blurts out.

I’m taken aback. I didn’t expect this. “Ok.” I say, after a short pause. An awkward silence engulfs the room for a few moments. My mind’s gone blank. “Big club!” I say eventually, to break the tension. He nods. “I get it,” I tell him. And I do. “All I would say is take your time.” I say seriously. “You’re our starting number 10, you’re at the top of the pecking order here. Why don’t you stay until the end of the promotion stage, keep playing and developing, and then we’ll have a look at Guimarães in the summer?”

“But I want to win trophies” he replies immediately. He’s almost pleading.

“Being a key player in a championship winning side would be a great thing for a young lad like you to have on your CV.”

“I want to win real trophies!” he blurts out again. I don’t really have a response to that.

“Look, I’ll let you go in the summer Carlos.”

“But I want to…”

“Carlos!” I cut across him sternly. “I am your Manager and you are an SC Angrense player. You’ll go in the Summer.” He looks angry. He looks like he’s about to cry. “I’ll see you at training tomorrow” I tell him, as kindly as I can. Carlos storms out of the room.

The next morning as I walk into training, I look for Antunes. I want to apologise. I think I could have handled our conversation better than I did. But he’s not at training. He’s the only one missing. Now this really annoys me. It’s one thing wanting to move for your career or trophies, but I won’t tolerate players being unprofessional. Whether he’s late or making some kind of stand, it’s not on. I head inside to look for him but Nuno stops me before I get to the door.

“Idiota Inglesa!” He looks genuinely quite annoyed.

“Not now, Nuno. I’ll talk to you later.” I mutter as I squeeze past him and through the door. I start to walk down the corridor.

“Why do you sell the kid, Inglês?” Nuno calls after me. I stop in my tracks and turn back to him.

“Excuse me? What kid?” I demand.

“The kid, Carlos! You sell our best players Inglês!”

I don’t wait for him to finish his sentence, I march to Borba’s office door and throw it open. Borba doesn’t look up. He’s doing some paperwork at his desk. “Where’s Antunes?” I ask, trying to stay calm.

“Guimarães.” He says lazily, still not looking up. “I told you Franjo, this is my…” His words fade away as I walk back down the corridor. I don’t look at the players as I walk past the training pitch. I don’t acknowledge Pedro as he tries to stop me at the main entrance of our training ground. I don’t look back as I walk through the car park, and out into the world.

Episode 39 >

Find me on:

Franjo’s Youtube Channel (For General Gaming Videos)

Treppenwitz (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep38)

Today is special. Today we get another chance.

< Episode 37

Do you want to know what my favourite German word is?

Of course you do. It’s Treppenwitz. It translates literally as Staircase Joke, and it’s the word for that moment when you think of the perfect joke, but a few minutes too late. The moment has passed and the conversation has ended, but bloody hell, it would’ve been good if you’d thought of it at the time. But Treppenwitz also has other applications. It can be the comeback to an insult that comes to you too late, or the showstopper in a huge argument that you lose because you didn’t think of it. And today, just between us, Treppenwitz is the word that you use when you think of the perfect way to hammer a snotty little Portuguese football club into the ground, but too late. They’ve already bored you to death and snatched a point. But today is special. Today we get another chance.

Pinhalnovense have made themselves a special space in my brain, a space usually reserved for Big Brother, the last season of Scrubs, and everybody who plays the drop-in matches in FIFA Pro Clubs. I don’t just want to beat them, I need to. I need this. I need Pinhalnovense fans up and down the land to recoil whenever they hear my name. I need their Manager, João Sousa, to leave under a cloud, and to be booed down the street wherever he goes forever more. I need our handful of travelling fans to shower me with confetti and dub me the King of Portugal.

So what’s the secret formula? What’s old Franjo going to pull from his sleeve and lay on the table?

Nothing.

Bear with me.

For the home tie against Pinhalnovense I should have told us to attack more. We should have been more open and committed more men forward to break through the bus that was parked across the goal line. As the away side, I’m not going to have us attack. I’m going to play our bog standard Meatloaf. Pinhalnovense, being the home side, will do all the adjusting for us. They’ll come out at us as home sides generally do and open themselves up, letting us waltz right through.

It’s beautiful isn’t it? We’re adjusting to their playstyle by not adjusting at all. Of course, they could just do exactly what they did in Hero Creek, in which case we will actually have to adjust. Also, Magina is on the verge of another record. This time he’s about to get a record number of Player of the Match awards

Within 2 minutes of the match kicking off, Amonike gets away down the right and drills a cross in for Antunes, who smashes us ahead.

10 minutes later Pinhalnovense are actually making a game of it though, and a good passing move is capped with a Grou through ball and a tidy Fidalgo finish.

Half way through the first half we’re back ahead, when Benjamim sends Kevin through on the right, and the vice captain runs inside before slotting the ball under the keeper. Back ahead and this is the polar opposite of the last time these teams met.

As the half goes on, we pull away more and more from Pinhalnovense and we start to run rings round them. As we approach the 40 minute mark, Magina chips the ball to Kevin on the right, and he whips a ball from the byline to the far post, where Amonike easily makes it 3-1.

Pinhalnovense, who are actually starting to earn back my respect, soon close the gap though. From a well worked free kick, Pires passes short to Outtara, who dribbles forward to the edge of the area and hammers the ball into the top corner.

At half time I encourage the team. I want more goals. But we don’t fashion another chance until there’s 15 minutes to go, when Olivier drills the ball forward and Magina runs through on goal, but his low drive is blocked by Melo.

A few minutes later, Kevin is brought down on the right wing, just outside the area. Amonike whips a cross in and Lassina Touré guides a good header back across goal to score our 4th and hopefully put the match to bed.

In the dying minutes, Magina puts Hurley through and the attacking midfielder runs powerfully through on goal, but he skies his left footed shot.

When the final whistle goes, I shake Sousa’s hand and smile, before applauding our 2 fans that have made the journey, and then the hundreds of Pinhalnovense fans. I’ll give them that one. That was a great game with some quality football and I’ve gained a great deal of respect for our opposition.

We finish the first phase of the Championship undefeated, with 48 points out of a possible 54. Now there’s just the small matter of the Promotion Stage to deal with.

Mini-sode 38.5 >

Find me on:

Franjo’s Youtube Channel (For General Gaming Videos)

No Fuss (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep37)

I take a deep swig from my water bottle. The water tastes sweet. Almost like vindication.

< Episode 36

Miguel Oliveira is off in the Summer. I thought I’d rip that bandage off as quickly as possible to spare you the heart ache. I lost faith in Miguel’s ability about 5 or 6 matches after I arrived and was not planning on offering him a new contract, so Panachaiki have swooped in and arranged to whisk him away to Greece on a free transfer. Good luck to him. If he throws plates half as well as he throws away his marking responsibilities he’ll be fine.

Annoyingly, having just played Barreirense in Barreiro last week, we’re now playing Fabril do Barreiro in Hero Creek. We could have stayed through and had a nice holiday there if we were playing at their place, but never mind.

Fabril are the team that play with that narrow diamond that prompts us to focus our play down the wings, so that’s what we’ll do. Diogo Coelho is better at going forward than Mauro Aires, so he comes in at left back, Fernando Batista keeps his place on the wing after helping to rescue a point for us last week, and Renato Silva starts. I want to give him another chance seeing as the benched Cristiano Magina is sulking.

After half an hour, nothing has really happened. I’m getting quite tired of our poor first half performances, so I tell the team to attack. We may as well go for it against these.

5 minutes later, it’s clear that our right back, Vitor Miranda, has received the message. He finds himself on the edge of the Fabril box and chips the ball to Hurley. With 2 touches, Hurley brings the ball down brilliantly and skilfully uses the outside of his boot to send the ball fizzing in off the post. That man just oozes class. I take a deep swig from my water bottle. The water tastes sweet. Almost like vindication.

When half time rolls around I tell my Heróis to drop back slightly stop attacking quite as often. We have the lead now and all we need to do is protect it. I don’t want us leaving ourselves open at the back.

The 2nd half is a quiet affair. On the hour mark a Coelho corner is headed in by Olivier to double our lead in the simplest way possible. I bring on Rúby and Ávila shortly afterwards but they don’t have much of an impact. We happily let the clock tick away and leave with another 3 points.

That was one of those matches that just sort of happens. We got what we wanted with no fuss whatsoever. I’m fine with that at this stage in the season. Let’s hope for a carbon copy away at Amora.

What won’t be a carbon copy though is our lineup. Aires comes back in for Coelho as we don’t want our fullbacks pushing quite as high seeing as we’re away. Rúby starts in place of Benjamim, who I think could use a kick up the arse as his performances are dropping. Amonike and Bruce Ávila start as a pair of orthodox wingers in place of Batista and Kevin, and Magina comes back in to lead the line. Watching the last match, I forgot that Silva was playing.

Quarter of an hour in, Magina releases Amonike down the right wing. The winger gets his cross into the 6 yard box where Ávila is arriving, but he gets it all wrong and heads wide from close range. I make a mental note to myself not to drop Kevin in future.

5 minutes later, Zé Miguel swings a deep cross from the right over to the far post. Afonso gets to the ball ahead of Miranda but can only cushion it unthreateningly into Azevedo’s arms.

Just as I’m wracking my brains for something constructive to say in my half time team talk, Zé Miguel gets in the thick of it again, but this time he pulls Lassina Touré’s shirt in the Amora area, granting us an injury time penalty. Magina steps up and confidently strokes it to the bottom left.

That actually makes my half time team talk incredibly easy. I tell them they look alright and ask them to go and get another to kill the game off.

Not 2 minutes later, Hurleys pass is knocked on first time by Amonike, and Magina places it into the bottom corner. Ask and you shall receive. I surely can’t let Magina go.

With just over an hour gone, Zé Miguel lays the ball off and Vaz strikes it very sweetly from the edge of the area, but his shot cannons back off the bar.

That’ll do as a warning. We revert to Heróis Original, Jaime Seidi replaces Hurley and joins Rúby in our withdrawn double pivot.

Rúby is jumping for joy now that Seidi is by his side. Unfortunately, you could describe the kind of jumping he’s doing as “At Vaz’s shins”, and “With 2 feet”. He’s already booked but he picks up a straight red anyway.

I don’t look at Rúby as he wanders towards the tunnel. I’m too busy talking Thiago up. He’s nervous, and rightfully so, but I have faith that he’ll do a job. He and Kevin replace Antunes and Ávila and our shape changes to more of a 4-2-3 with wingers.

We still have chances to further our lead after Rúby’s red. About 10 minutes later, Amonike dances past Pardal and runs through on goal, but Ascenso saves well.

Just after that, our resident penalty magnet Lassina Touré gets brought down again, this time by Machade, and Magina has a chance to bag his hat trick. This time though, his penalty is tame and not far enough into the corner, and Ascenso gets to it pretty easily.

I don’t really care, the only difference as a result of CM9 missing that 2nd penalty is that he has to buy his own ball. We picked up another win, kept another clean sheet, and built up another bit of momentum to take with us into the Promotion Stage.

Now the only team that stands in the way of out unbeaten phase is “Boring, Boring Pinhalnovense”. If it weren’t for them we might be on for a 100% record in the first phase, and I want my revenge.

Episode 38 >

Find me on:

Franjo’s Youtube Channel (For General Gaming Videos)

Back To Work (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep36)

Barreirense put up a fight in Hero Creek, taking the lead twice before we finally turned the tables, and now we’re travelling to Barreiro

< Mini-sode 35.5

Tears have been shed today. I imagine that back in my home country, the land of Big Ben, white cliffs and Spitfires, the national flag is flying at half mast. Sweden, of course, will be in just as mournful a mood. I spare a thought for the good people of Vellinge, where my name is mud and the burning of my likeness has become a local holiday. I know that wherever they are, Darius Vassell and Michael Ricketts are crying big, slow tears. The world of football has lost a strange but intriguing man. Enjoy your retirement, Sven.

Some awards have been dished out since our last match. Not Angrense-related awards, but global ones. And they all seem to follow a theme…

Despite Barcelona finishing 3rd in La Liga, Lionel Messi has had to build an extension to his trophy cabinet in order to store the Footballer of the Year, World Golden Ball and World Player of the Year awards. Mesut Özil will probably be slightly annoyed at finishing runner up 3 times despite guiding the Gunners to their first Premier League win in 12 years, and Luis Suarez completes the trio, placing 3rd in all 3 awards.

Unsurprisingly, they all took a place in the World Team of the Year too, forming the front 4 in a 4-2-3-1 with Neymar, the final component in Barça’s MSN. Behind them is an extremely attacking central midfield partnership of Tottenham’s Dele Alli and Manchester City’s £39Million summer signing James Rodríguez. Bayern dominate the defensive positions, with Manuel Neuer joining defenders Jérôme Boateng and Mats Hummels. Real’s Marcelo and Juve’s Bonucci make up the XI.

This is it then. Back to work. We’ve already qualified for the Promotion Stage so we shouldn’t fear anyone at this point, not even 2nd place Barreirense. But a result here isn’t a given. Barreirense put up a fight in Hero Creek, taking the lead twice before we finally turned the tables, and now we’re travelling to Barreiro, a place that we’re becoming rather familiar with thanks to the fact that seemingly half of our group is based there.

Hurley, although recovered from the injury sustained in our last match, is suspended for this one, so Rúby comes in alongside Benjamim. Batista, who I heroically rescued from being snapped up by a much bigger club yesterday, starts on the right.

3 minutes in, and after a good Barreirense move that culminates with a Santos through ball and a Caraballo shot that’s saved by Azevedo, Olivier swings a foot at the ball to clear our lines, but only succeeds in smashing it against the striker’s shins. The ball rolls over the line and they’ve taken the lead over us again.

Barreirense continue to dominate the first half but without making any sort of chances. On the half hour mark, I tell Os Heróis that we are to play on the counter. That evens the match out again, but it isn’t until the stroke of half time that Antunes lays the ball off for Batista, whose whipped cross is accidentally turned in by Dujardin for the equaliser.

With 20 minutes to go, Breimyr picks up what I would describe as a soft 2nd yellow for getting too close to Kevin. Despite playing against 10 men, and despite the introductions of Coelho, Thiago and Silva in an attempt to take control of the match, we aren’t able to find the winner.

I’ll take that. They’re a good team. Now we realistically only have to make it past Pinhalnovense on the final day to achieve an unbeaten phase. Well, Fabril do Barreiro and Amora too, but come on.

Episode 37 >

Find me on:

Franjo’s Youtube Channel (For General Gaming Videos)

Franjo Vs Borba (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Mini-sode 35.5)

I laugh for a moment. I can’t tell whether he’s joking or just confused.

< Episode 35

During our last training session before the Barreirense match, Miguel Borba comes walking onto the pitch. This is pretty unusual, he usually keeps his distance from the first team. He gives me a weak smile and a nod before turning back to the training pitch. “Fernando!” He shouts, “Come with me please.”

Fernando Batista looks puzzled as he takes off his bib and runs over. Borba gestures for him to follow him inside.

“Miguel,” I call after him. He doesn’t turn around or stop walking. I jog after him, not knowing whether or not he’s heard me. “Miguel,” I repeat once I’m practically alongside him. He still doesn’t acknowledge me. “Miguel, what’s going on?”

Finally the chairman gestures to Fernando to keep going and turns to me, looking sheepish. He waits for Fernando to walk inside and around a corner. “We’ve accepted an offer, Franjo. Belenenses have made an improved bid for Batista and we’re selling.” I laugh for a moment. I can’t tell whether he’s joking or just confused.

“No we haven’t”, I smile. “I haven’t accepted any bids for Fernando.” Borba is avoiding eye contact with me.

“No Franjo, I have accepted their bid.” He turns to continue walking. I stand there, frozen for a moment. Did I mishear this entire thing? Am I hallucinating again? Is this one of my weirdly relevant dreams?

No, this is definitely real. Miguel steps inside and around a corner. I sprint after him. “YOU’VE DONE FUCKING WHAT?” I roar from the doorway. My eyes are wide and I think I feel like I’m turning red. I turn the corner as Borba stops and turns back to me, guilt written all over his stupid face.

“This is my club, Franjo,” he says with a hint of sadness. “I’m selling him.”

I’m aware that I’m not blinking. I’m just staring straight at Borba. “How much?” I mutter.

“£23.5k, rising to £54k.” He makes eye contact with me for a moment, then stares back at the ground.

“£54k?!” I laugh, as a wide, maniacal smile stretches across my face, “That’s not even the most we’ve been offered!” He continues to look at the floor. My smile fades but I’m still staring. Still not blinking. “Pull the plug.” I tell him, as calmly as I can.

“I can’t.” He mumbles.

“You can. Pull the bloody plug, Miguel. Reject the offer. I’ve not said no 200 times just for you to go over my head like this.” He says nothing. “What happened to bringing the youth through?” He still says nothing.

“Miguel, if Fernando walks out the door today I’ll be right behind him.” The words just sort of fall out. They echo just for a moment, and then the two of us are stood in silence. I think I’m serious. I’m not 100% sure but I think I am. “We could have a good crack at promotion here but I won’t work for a Chairman who sells my most promising players behind my back”.

Borba looks up at me. I glare back at him. I think he sees on my face how serious I am. He sighs, walks into his office, and reemerges a few seconds later with Batista in tow. Batista looks at me. He seems extremely confused.

“Come on, mate,” I say calmly. “Back to training.”

Fernando walks past me and back outside. As the sound of his studs clacking on the concrete outside fades away, I look at Borba, who is actually looking right back at me now. He has a quizzical look on his face, like he’s trying to solve a riddle. Without another word, I turn and follow Fernando outside towards the training pitch.

Episode 36 >

Find me on:

Franjo’s Youtube Channel (For General Gaming Videos)

Sick (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep35)

“Pedro,” I croak, before coughing down the line, “I won’t be coming in for the match today. I’m very sick.” I cough again.

< Episode 34

I reach across to the bedside table for my phone. Finding Pedro’s name in my contact list, I dial the number. The phone rings twice before Pedro picks up the phone. “Hello?” He asks.

“Pedro,” I croak, before coughing down the line, “I won’t be coming in for the match today. I’m very sick.” I cough again.

“Oh no,” comes Pedro’s reply, ” What’s wrong?” I pause for a moment.

“That’s not important,” I mumble. “Just keep me updated will you?”

“Of course,” says Pedro. I hang up without saying goodbye, like in the films.

I know this is highly unorthodox, but I really can’t make it in today. I have a very generic and non-specific illness that will keep me out for exactly 1 match. When you think about it, it’s amazing how rare it is that Managers miss a match through illness. It really is. Surely we’re allowed to pick up the odd stomach bug or bout of flu. I genuinely can’t think of a single time this has happened off the top of my head, but here we are.

One of the symptoms of my illness is that every time I drift off to sleep, I have the same dream: I go to Viana’s stadium, I pick the team, I start the match, and then everything freezes and I wake up. It’s really odd. I guess it does make a change from the other recurring dream I’ve been having. The one on top of Pico das Cruzinhas. The one where I’m falling…

That reminds me actually, I haven’t picked the team. I scribble a quick text to Pedro:

Pedro, team for today:

MEATLOAF

Azevedo, Miranda, Touré, Olivier, Coelho, Benjamim, Hurley, Batista, Antunes, Kevin, Magina

Cheers,

Franjo

It takes quite a long time to write. I keep deleting Magina, writing Silva, then deleting Silva and writing Magina. This goes on for a while. You probably have questions, so let me answer the easy one first. Serginho started the season strongly but hasn’t been particularly impressive of late. I definitely don’t blame him for Belenenses knocking us out of the Taça de Portugal but in general he’s given me no reason to keep him as our undisputed number 1. Azevedo gets a chance to steal the shirt today.

Magina… Magina is a good striker. He threw his toys out the pram during the summer but we didn’t have any matches so I didn’t need to drop him. The fact is that I want to keep our good run of league results going. Our performances have been dropping but I don’t want to chop my nose off to spite my face. We might end up losing a match if I keep CM9 sidelined, and it would be purely because of my pride. I’ll take the knock to my pride and keep plugging away for an unbeaten first phase. Plus, it would be unfair to rush Silva into first team football when he’s not ready, and Arruda’s making his own noises about wanting to leave for first team football. Magina starts.

Pedro actually does pretty well. He keeps me updated on the key events and I fear for the worst when Pipas opens the scoring for Viana, but Magina bags a goal either side of half time to get us the win. He also gives a rare substitute appearance to Wilson Dias. Well in Pedro.

Luckily, I’m fighting fit for the next match – At home against Despertar. They’re doomed to the relegation stage, having lost over half of their matches and sitting in 6th.

We just need to avoid defeat today, and then 4 more times after Christmas to complete our unbeaten phase. We go unchanged. We go Meatloaf.

With less than 4 minutes gone, Batista sends a cross in from the right and Hurley puts us ahead with a simple finish.

It’s a cagey half but before half time we get a 2 goal cushion when Antunes sets up Hurley for his 2nd, a significantly more impressive strike from the edge of the area.

The 2nd half is not entirely impressive by either side. Paulo Cézar goes relatively close a couple of times, dragging a shot wide from the edge of the area before bobbling a bizarre 30 yard shot comfortably into the arms of Azevedo. Apart from that, we are not troubled. Hurley picks up a knock but he’ll be back for the next match.

With that win, we officially qualify for the Promotion stage of the PT Championship. We’re 11 points clear of Barreirense and 13 points clear of Moura. This season so far has been absolutely outstanding.

And that’s it for December. Christmas is only a week away, and after that’s out of the way it’s time for January. January is a huge, huge month. We face Barreirense first, the closest team we have to a rival, followed by presumably simple ties agains Fabril and Amora, and we finish the month against those bastards Pinhalnovense. The team who first cost us our winning streak. It’s going to be a hell of a month.

Mini-sode 35.5 >

Find me on:

Franjo’s Youtube Channel (For General Gaming Videos)

Silva Lining (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep34)

Something’s wrong. Somebody’s there… or something’s there.

< Episode 33

I jolt awake once again. I keep having the same dream over and over. I’m walking up the gravel path towards Monte Brasil, watching the clouds change colour and shape above me. I keep walking, climbing higher and higher up the winding path. For a while a golden retriever appears and trots happily alongside me, before disappearing into thin air. The dream always ends the same way. I reach the pinnacle of Pico das Cruzinhas. I get to the view point overlooking Hero Creek but something’s wrong. Somebody’s there… or something’s there. And then I’m falling, and the ground is rushing forward to meet me… I try to hold onto the memory of my dream but it just keeps slipping out of my grasp.

As my eyes adjust to the light I remember that I’m on the plane, travelling to our next match. Aljustrelense aren’t a particularly threatening opponent. They’re sitting 7th in our group, level with Évora, Viana and Amora below them on 7 points. So really, they’re joint last. They’ve won 1 match out of 10 so we should be brushing them aside.

Mind you, our first loss of the season has thrown me off slightly. I feel like we need an injection to get us going again, to ensure that we don’t start to spiral. In a departure from my usual starting lineup, I bring in Coelho, a potentially very good fullback that I’ve largely ignored so far since signing him, Rúby, a potentially very good ball winner that hasn’t been able to break into our solid midfield, and Batista, a winger that’s chock-full of potential and who I just think could do with the playing time.

Ok I’m worried. This is the 4th league match in a row where we’ve offered absolutely S.F.A in the first half. At least against Belenenses we started well before falling off a cliff. The first thing of note that happens is in the 54th minute, when André Luís takes a dislike to Hurley and so tries to break his leg with a 2 footed lunge, earning himself a straight red. A few minutes later I bring off Batista and replace him with Amonike, in the hopes that fresh legs against 10 men will make something happen.

And something does happen, although I can’t really credit the substitution. With 25 minutes to go Rúby receives the ball on the edge of the area after Coelho’s chip from the left, and drills a shot into the bottom corner to put us ahead.

10 minutes later I bring on Renato Silva for Magina. That does the trick. Just a couple of minutes later, the young striker’s shot is blocked and Amonike gets to the rebound and doubles our lead.

Shortly afterwards, Silva gets a goal for himself, drilling the ball home after a Hurley pass set him up.

And pretty much straight from kick off, Antunes plays a long ball over the top, Silva beats Dias to the ball and slots it home. 4-0.

I bring on Wilson Dias for a rare appearance in place of Antunes, and Liu Yuhao goes close to pulling a goal back with a shot that just flies wide, but it’s not until injury time that Aljustrelense start to threaten. Matthew Silva cracks a shot against the post from 25 yards, and then Mota’s volley from a corner is blocked on the line by Miranda.

I’m not happy. Yes that’s silly. We won 4-0, but should I be happy with that? Can I be? Should I get the team a big card that says “Congrats on eventually beating one of the worst teams in the group after they had a man sent off”? I am impressed however with Renato Silva. After he showed such pre-season promise, culminating with a debut goal, he’s dropped off disappointingly, but he came on, scored 2 and inadvertently set up another to add some gloss and spare the rest of the team’s blushes.

I receive a pleasantly surprising call later in the week. As it turns out, I’ve been given the Manager of the Month award for November! And not even out of our group, out of the entire Championship! I’ll take that.

I’ve also been keeping a closer eye than usual on our Under 19 side lately. I’m aware that I picked the 3 most promising youth players when they came through our academy and have given them, and them alone, chances in the first team. I wasn’t entirely comfortable with the fact that I hadn’t given more youngsters a go so I’ve been following my youth team’s progress to look out for anyone else that’s deserving of a chance. Meet Thiago.

Thiago has been on my radar for a little while. He’s not quick, he’s got some maturing and some technical development to do, but my God he’s been putting in the performances for the Under 19’s. He’ll come in on the bench for the Évora match.

In other news, guess who wants to leave again? Good old CM9.

“I’m growing tired of this, Cristiano.” I told him bluntly when he came to see me. I understand why he wants to join Levadeiakos, they’re 3rd in the Greek Superleague. But I can’t let him go. Maybe at the end of the Season things will be different. Maybe if we win promotion we’ll be able to bring in a good enough replacement, but we’ve got no chance of getting one while we’re in the Championship. Selling him might solve the problem of Hélder Arruda though. I’ve not been able to give him nearly as much game time as I’d like, but I don’t think he could step into Magina’s shoes. And besides, until a team makes me a decent offer, keeping him is a no-brainer. We’ve still not had any advance on £30k.

Anyway, to cut a long story short we had a row. He told me he could make my life very difficult if I forced him to stay and I told him that he’s dropped for the Juventude Évora match.

Speaking of, 3 cheers for them winning their first match of the season! They just bagged a 2-0 victory at home against Despertar, moving themselves up to 8th in the league.

I’m just about fed up with my “First Team” offering nothing in the first half of games, so I’m making mass changes. Will I use this match as a chance to give first team opportunities to players who haven’t featured much this season? Yes. Is it a risk against a team with new found confidence and perhaps even momentum? Try not to think about it.

We’ll hit them down the flanks and we’ll hit them fast. Serginho starts, but I’m even considering his place. His performance against Belenenses wasn’t the best. Serpa, Seidi (Our captain for the day), Olivier and Xéxé start across the back. Benjamim and Hurley keep their places in the centre, with Amonike, Antunes and Ávila behind Renato Silva. Magina watches from the stands.

There is early action, but not the kind that we want. Pereira slams a free kick off the bar after 17 minutes to put us on edge, and with 25 minutes gone, Ruizinho latches onto a Pestana through ball but shoots wide of the near post. The visitors are doing all of the threatening so far.

5 minutes later though, Hurley passes inside for Renato Silva, who rifles the ball in from 20 yards. That’s more like it. That’s 3 goals in 40 minutes from Renato now, if he keeps up that kind of goalscoring record I’ll pay for Magina’s flight to Greece myself.

Unfortunately our lead doesn’t last long. 10 minutes in fact. Benjamim slides in well to win the ball from Ruizinho, but Pestana picks up the loose ball and puts it in the bottom corner to equalise.

On the stroke of half time, Silva releases Benjamim inside the area, but the keeper closes down the angle well and saves his shot.

As we make our way tentatively into the second half, I bring on Coelho as a more attacking alternative to Xéxé, and Kevin for Ávila, who has had a quiet game.

Only a few minutes later, we break forward. Amonike gets away down the right wing, reaches the byline and drills the ball across goal. It goes through to Kevin at the far post, who shoots – straight at the post. The rebound comes back to him and this time he chips it back across goal. Amonike gets to it – and hits the other post. This isn’t going to be our day, is it?

With quarter of an hour to play, it’s Évora who have the final chance: Ruizinho plays through Pestana, who gets free in the box, but Coelho charges down his close range shot. I bring on Arruda for Amonike, but the rest of the match just flies by.

On one hand, I’m not happy. Of course I’m not. We’ve drawn our 2nd match of the season and it’s against lowly Évora. On the other, I can’t really blame anyone but myself. My mass changes didn’t pay off apart from Silva’s goal. We were unlucky with the Kevin/ Amonike incident, but we still should have won that.

Episode 35 >

Find me on:

Franjo’s Youtube Channel (For General Gaming Videos)

The Beautiful Game (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep33)

I never thought he had this kind of goal in him.

< Mini-sode 32.5

I’ve had a pretty exciting week. Most of it has been spent preparing for our home game against Moura, but on Friday Miguel Borba paid for the 2 of us to fly out to Senegal, where we watched their World Cup Qualifying loss against Burkina Faso. There were plenty of familiar faces: Sadio Mané, Idrissa ‘Gana’ Gueye, Khouma Babacar and Bertrand Traoré to name a few. Unfortunately, Burkina Faso’s number 14, Lassina Touré, didn’t make his international bow, but I’m still very proud and it’ll have been an incredibly valuable experience for him. Here’s hoping he can keep his form up and make the next squad too.

Moving on to domestic matters then, and our own CM9 is closing in on an SC Angrense assist record. He’s picked up 9 so far and we’re not even half way through the season, so I’m confident that he can break Jordanes Medeiros’ record of 10 assists in a single campaign. But can he break it today when we welcome Moura to our place?

Moura leapfrogged Pinhalnovense a couple of weeks ago and now sit behind Barreirense in 3rd. I’m still wary of them, because they must be doing something right. Thinking back to our first match of the season, you might think that a 2-0 away win with 10 men would mean we’d thrash them with a full team and home advantage. But that match wasn’t at all comfortable, and it was only Renato Silva’s late debut goal that added gloss to the scoreline. Plus, they only lost that match and the one that followed against Amora, they’ve not been beaten since. These are not to be underestimated. Meatloaf, anyone?

Well what a mess. Another half where we barely threaten. Half an hour in, Antunes hits the post after Kevin squares it for him from the right, but apart from that it’s been 45 minutes that nobody involved will remember fondly. To make matters worse, the first 20 minutes of the 2nd half are just as bad.

Fuck it. I’ve never made a triple substitution before but I need to communicate my unhappiness. The youthful trio of Batista, Ávila and Silva replace Amonike, Kevin and Magina.

One of the first things Ávila does is swing a corner to the far side of the area. Conceição comes to head it away but mistimes his jump and doesn’t connect. The ball falls just behind him to Fernando Batista, who hits the ball left footed on the volley. I watch on, mouth agape, as the ball flies past the keeper and into the back of the net.

They’ve done in under 4 minutes what the more established players failed to do in over an hour, and in absolutely fantastic style. Fun fact: The number of minutes played when we opened the scoring was the same as the combined age of our front 4: 69.

With quarter of an hour to go the match has finally come alive. Moura put together a decent move but Ávila breaks away on the counter. He gets it to Hurley, who passes to Silva, and he lays it off for Batista… as I watch Fernando smash the ball into the top corner from the edge of the area, I’m confused more than anything. I’m impressed, don’t get me wrong, but I never thought he had this kind of goal in him. I watched him spurn 2 excellent chances against Amora not too long ago and now he’s like a young Ryan Giggs. He’s scored a ridiculous brace today.

With 10 minutes to go, Dinis latches onto a Bacan through ball and jabs it past Serginho, but we see the game out. I’m becoming worryingly used to this sensation of being very very impressed with certain players and being not at all impressed with others. I’ll never get that first hour back but Batista’s goals were the kind that justify the entry fee into Estádio Municipal de Angra do Heroismo.

Next up is our Taça de Portugal match against Belenenses, a Liga Nos side, but not a good one. They’re 15th in the league, having lost 6 of their 11 matches so far, but they’ll still be heavy favourites by virtue of being 2 leagues above us.

I’m not worried. I have genuine faith in this side. They let me down from time to time by not playing to their potential, but on our day I’d genuinely back us against any team in Portugal. We beat Sporting before the season started after all! Yes it was a friendly, but still. Having said all of this, I’d be foolish not to try to make us more solid. Our system isn’t designed for top tier sides; we leave ourselves open, secure in the fact that the vast majority of players in the opposing teams are awful.

In the end I decide to go for Project: Meatloaf, but with Jaime Seidi replacing Antunes as a holding man in a 4-1-2-3 formation. I’m trying to make us more solid at the back while still leaving us well enough equipped going forward. We’ve still got Hurley charging forwards, we’ve still got Kevin and Amonike creating chances in wide areas, and we’ve still got Magina up top.

Quarter of an hour in, Hurley slips a pass through for Kevin, but João Diogo slides in fantastically to knock the ball away. Unfortunately the loose ball rolls to the far post, where Amonike arrives to knock the ball in. I’m already mid air, celebrating. This could actually happen.

Before the half hour mark, Benjamim slots a pass through for Magina, who stays cool and places the ball into the bottom corner. I’m not mid-air anymore. I’m stunned. I can see Pedro and my coaches bouncing around in my peripheral vision, I can see the players piling onto Magina in the far corner of the pitch. I consider making changes, but it’s surely too early. We can’t take our foot of the pedal with an hour still to play.

We don’t. A minute later, Hurley continues to make a mockery of the Belenenses defence by playing the ball right through them, but Kevin’s effort is well saved by Figueiredo.

With 10 minutes to go before the break we’re still piling the pressure on, but Belenenses win the ball and break quickly. Maurides puts in an incredible low cross from deep on the left wing, Valente is all on his own 6 yards out, but he hits a tame shot straight at Serginho. We got let off there.

We try not to let it rattle us but Belenenses take heart from how easily they were able to slice through us. With 3 minutes to play before half time, Maurides sets up Valente, who shoots into the bottom corner to pull a goal back.

2 minutes later Maurides is released on the left by Valente, and he puts in another low cross to the far post. Araujo puts it away to equalise. I feel sick. I missed the warning sign 10 minutes ago when we were 2-0 up. We’ve been sucker punched and then kicked to the floor.

We hold on until half time but I can tell that something isn’t right once we get into the dressing room. We’ve conceded twice right before the break and now the players have got nothing to do but sit there and think about that for 15 long minutes. Their nerves are shot. My nerves are shot. I put on a brave face, hoping to lead by example. I tell them that they’re unlucky not to be in front.

It seems to work. For a while after the second half begins we look calm and composed. And then with 20 minutes to go, Araujo crosses the ball in for Maurides in the centre, who heads it home. 2-3.

I change our system to Heróis Original. It’s a less offensive system so we should push a little less, giving Belenenses fewer chances on the counter attack, while pushing Hurley up to a number 10 position in the hopes that he’ll be able to create more in the final third.

The calmness has evaporated from my poor Heróis. 5 minutes after Belenenses take the lead, Vitor Gomes plays in Maurides, who smashes the ball into the top corner. We’ve gone from 2-0 up to 2-4 down.

That’s enough now, I think. I throw on Antunes in place of Seidi. There’s no point having a holding man now. We need to go for it. Hurley returns to his attacking central midfield spot and Antunes will be the one behind Magina.

The change is nearly rewarded instantly when Hurley plays a through ball for Antunes, but the young playmaker drags his shot wide. Nevertheless it’s good to see us threaten again.

With 10 minutes to go, Vitor Gomes gets a chance on the edge of the area but shoots straight at Serginho. We counter, playing the ball quickly back up the pitch and winning a corner. The corner is cleared but then Antunes finds Amonike on the left wing, who drills a cross into the centre for Magina to volley in from close range. 3-4. I’m numb at this point. My facial expression doesn’t change. But I know we’re not done yet.

We keep pushing. We’ve got our swagger back. The nerves are a distant memory. Magina brings the ball forward. There’s 3 minutes of normal time to be played. He takes on a couple of defenders and passes to Antunes… Then Benjamim… Then through for Hurley… He takes a touch just outside the area…

There are a few moments in my short career that I doubt will ever leave my memory:

The moment that former pub-teamer Lago scored away at Qviding, after The Hammer nodded on a long ball and the defender fluffed his back pass: The first goal of my managerial career. The fleeting vindication of my Hammerhead Formation.

The moment that Burrnie scored the winning penalty against Hammarby IF: My first win, and my first giant killing.

The moment Benjamim rifled in a last minute winner away at Torreense in my second Angrense match: The moment I realised I was managing a team of winners.

The moment that Hurley made it SC Angrense 4, Belenenses 4: The moment that I made a mental note to write the brilliant bastard into my will.

When the past 18 months finishes flashing before my eyes, I realise I’m stood by one of the advertising boards, celebrating with some of the die hard Angrense fans. I turn back to the pitch to check I didn’t imagine the goal. I didn’t. Hurley took a touch on the edge of the area and smacked the ball to the keeper’s right. Maybe the keeper should have done better, it was a good height and not the hardest hit shot he’ll have seen, but I’ll ignore that for now. Nothing matters but the scoreline.

I send on Batista for Kevin. Kevin’s been fairly quiet and Batista impressed after coming off the bench against Moura. Vitor Miranda gets the armband from Kevin as the vice captain heads for the touchline.

We head into extra time. I forgot how much I hate extra time. I genuinely prefer penalty shootouts. I wish we could just do that straight away.

Minutes from half time in extra time, Araujo’s cross finds Maurides in the 6 yard box, but he connects badly with his head and the ball bobs over the bar.

5 minutes after the break, Valente releases Araujo on the right. He goes through on goal and my stomach turns, but his shot hits the side netting.

The match dies down. Our players are tired. Their players are tired. With a couple of minutes to play and penalties looming, I turn to Hélder Arruda on the bench.

“You’re going on mate.” I say, with a smile and as much false confidence as I can muster. Arruda nods solemnly. “You can take a penalty, yeah?” I know full well he’s one of our best. He nods again. I bring off Aires, our left back, who does not do well when he takes penalties in training. I tell Arruda to stand in for him, to be aware, and to hoof the ball clear if it comes near him.

30 seconds from the 2 hour mark, and the end of extra time, Belenenses win a corner. Araujo crosses the ball in, but it’s too close to goal. Serginho comes to punch it clear – and misses. The ball hangs in the air for what seems like a long, long time. And then Valente gets above Magina at the far post and heads home via the bar.

I’ve never known this place so silent. I watch Valente as he runs away, arms aloft. I look over to the linesman, but his flag’s still down. I look over to the referee, but there was no foul. I know there was no foul. The goal stands. And the final whistle goes straight after kick off.

This has been turbulent. I’m drained. I’m disappointed but I’m unbelievably proud. We gave a Liga Nos side a bloody good run for their money. From the 40th to the 80th minute we capitulated, but either side of that period we fought and we fought well. I have a heavy feeling in my gut that my decision to take off Aires and replace him with a striker has cost us the chance of a penalty shootout and the opportunity of passage into the 5th round, but oddly I think I’m OK with it. Would I do that again if given another chance? Probably. I rolled the dice and brought on a good penalty taker for a bad one.

I tell you what though, I’ve never known 2 matches that sum up football better than the 2 that I’ve played in the last 8 days. The tedium, the frustration, the beauty, the underdog story, the heartbreak, the resurgence, the jubilation, the drama, the suspense, and the… heartbreak again. If ever I meet someone who doesn’t see the appeal of the beautiful game, I’m going to sit them down and tell them all about it.

Episode 34 >

Find me on:

Franjo’s Youtube Channel (For General Gaming Videos)

Burkinabe (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Mini-sode 32.5)

As soon as the line goes dead, I leap away from the phone, punching the air with delight.

< Episode 32

I’ve stayed late in my office tonight, pouring over stats, thinking about performances. The thing is, and this is a bit cliché really, but you really do learn more from losses than you do from wins, so I’m in quite a … good? … predicament at the minute where I can’t really change anything because aside from our blip against Pinhalnovense, everything is … well, it’s fine. But it takes either a very brave or a very stupid Manager to just accept that fact and happily put out the same team in the same shape week after week. So now, I’m trying to work out where we can improve. Where are the weakest points? What can we do to turn this good team into a great one?

Just then, my office landline rings. The only people who have this number are Joakim and Pizza Hut. I hope it’s Pizza Hut. I tentatively pick up the receiver and hold it to my ear: “H-Hello?”

“Hello is this Mr Franjo?” Says the unfamiliar voice on the other end. It isn’t Joakim’s voice, nor is it any of the Pizza Hut staff, unless they’re a new hire.

“It is”, I reply, “Who’s speaking please?”

“It’s a pleasure Mr Franjo” he continues, in a scripted sort of way. I don’t think I’m the first person that he’s called. “My name is Jonathan Doumbia. I am the Manager of the Burkinabe national football team.”

“You’re the Burkina Faso Manager?” I ask, my heartbeat quickening.

“I am.” Doumbia replies. “We have a World Cup Qualifying match against Senegal next Friday and I’m making my calls around to the club Managers tonight, before I name the squad.”

“Go on.” I reply quietly, heart hammering in my chest.

“Well, I just thought I’d let you know that I’d like Lassina to join us for training with a view to playing for the National side”, He continues.

“Lassina… Lassina Touré?” I ask, trying to play it cool.

“Yes, I thought as we hadn’t met before I’d ask your opinion first, would it be OK for Lassina to join us, Franjo?” He asks.

“Yeah I don’t see why not”, I reply casually, the smile already stretching across my face.

“Excellent, thank you. I’ll speak to you again soon, I’m sure.” Says Doumbia, before he hangs up.

As soon as the line goes dead, I leap away from the phone, punching the air with delight.

I’m managing a fucking international player! A bonafide international player!

I reach back to my desk draw and pull out the bottle that Alexander gave me at the end of my Höllviken tenure. I call it my Failure Whiskey. I’ve been saving it for a special occasion and this seems as good a time as any to crack it open. I do so and pour myself a glass, sitting back in my chair and grinning from ear to ear.

Fuck the stats, I decide as I google the Burkina Faso side. I have a look through some of their current internationals: Bertrand Traoré, the forward on loan at FC Metz from Chelsea, Charles Kaboré, the ex-Marseille midfielder currently plying his trade with Krasnodar, Bakary Koné, the AS Nancy Lorraine defender who used to play for Lyon. I’ve heard of these players! And now Lassina bloody Touré is going to be training, and possibly playing with them!

My first international player, I smile to myself.

Episode 33 >

Find me on:

Franjo’s Youtube Channel (For General Gaming Videos)

Stepping It Up (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep32)

Pinhalnovense are a good, but underachieving side. That’s a dangerous combination.

< Episode 31

Pinhalnovense are a good, but underachieving side. That’s a dangerous combination. You must have had this before. If you’re reading this, I’m willing to bet you’re a fan of a football team. You know that feeling when you see a good side that’s been struggling and struggling and then when your team plays them you’re sure that they’ll turn their poor form around against you? Yeah me too. I’ve been burned before as a fan and I don’t particularly want to be burned as a Manager.

I mentioned when we played Barreirense that I had singled out them and Pinhalnovense as the teams to watch out for at the start of the season, and it hasn’t really panned out as I expected. We’re top on 21 points and while Pinhalnovense are 3rd, and while they’ve only lost once, they’ve drawn 4 out of 7 games. This puts them comfortably behind us on 10 points but they’ll still be tough opposition.

We’ll go with Project: Meatloaf as it’s served us so well so far and it should prevent Pinhalnovense from pulling the shutters down in front of us. Batista gets another start on the right wing.

At half time I walk slowly into the silent dressing room, looking around at all the bowed heads. They know what they did. That was an awful 45 minutes. There was no action at all. No swagger. No chances. Pinhalnovense and the team bus they keep just in front of their net have done this against over half the teams they’ve played against this season, but they won’t do it to us. We’re a positive side that play nice football and score goals. The team and I enter into a frank discussion about where they’ve been keeping their fingers throughout the first half and I send them back out to win us the match. Except for Batista. He’s replaced by Amonike, who has been known to take matches like this by the scruff of the neck.

It takes 63 minutes for either side to carve out a noteworthy chance. Our half time substitute Amonike gets a cross into the 6 yard box and Magina bundles the ball into the net. The breakthrough is ours.

With 10 minutes to go I decide to make changes. This has been a remarkably poor match and I could sub most of the team, but I only have 2 subs left. Antunes and Kevin are replaced by the more defensively minded Seidi and Coelho, and we drop to a counter attacking 4-1-4-1.

With 8 minutes to go, Diogo Pirolo gets the ball on the right wing and crosses to the far post, and Anjos gets his head to the ball, guiding it past Serginho.

8 minutes pass without incident.

Right, I’ve had time to collect my thoughts and process my feelings. Here is my carefully worded statement on what just happened:

Fuck Pinhalnovense. Fuck them and fuck the budget Portuguese Tony Pulis they’ve got dragging them through exclusively defensive drills every miserable training session. Fuck them for Sernacheing us*, fuck them for ending our winning streak, fuck our team for letting them and fuck me for ever talking them up as true competition for the league. I predict they’ll pick up 18 points from 18 matches and I hope they get relegated, go bust, reform as Pinhalnovense Phoenix and go bust again.

OK, that’s better. Sometimes I need to get the emotional reaction out of the way so that I can focus on actually analysing the match. Well, the match itself is pretty straightforward, it was just football. When the rage faded and I took a step back, I realised it was a really bad match that neither team deserved to win. They didn’t deserve or really intend to get 3 points and we barely showed up. We couldn’t break them down and we fell asleep at the end. Maybe it was because I dropped us back and invited pressure, or maybe it was just one of those things, but we didn’t deserve the win either.

And let’s not forget that they ended our winning streak, not our unbeaten run. We’re still way ahead in the league and we’re still very much alive in the Taça de Portugal, so never mind. Let the scoundrels have their point, they need it.

I have a conversation a few days later that makes me very sad. It’s with Gonçalo Valadão, Meu Capitão e meu amigo. After 19 years in football and 19 years with Angrense, he’s hanging up his boots. I try to convince him to give us 1 more year. I’m not sure why, as I haven’t got any intention of playing him, but it’s a heart-ruling-head moment. His decision is final.

So, this last week’s been a bit of a downer really, hasn’t it. Fabril do Barreiro are next and they present an opportunity for us to get back on track. They were predicted 7th at the start of the season but are currently overachieving: they sit 5th on 11 points, the same as Pinhalnovense. But with more wins.

Fabril have been lining up lately with a narrow diamond formation so we’ll be using our lesser spotted Project: Meatloaf but attacking quickly down the wings system. I’ll think of a better name at some point. I’m taking Mauro Aires out of the lineup and giving Diogo Coelho his full debut as he’s pretty good going forward and should overlap well on the left. Amonike comes back in for Batista after his assist from the bench last week.

Less than 20 seconds into the match, João Coelho plays the ball forward into our half from the half way line. It bounces between Lassina Touré and Vitor Miranda and Terry Akpua latches onto it on the left. He gets a cross in to the far post, Diogo Coelho scuffs his clearance and Coutinho places it into the corner from 8 yards. It’s all going wrong.

For the next 20 minutes Fabril continue to come forward and control the match, so I tell the team to play on the counter. 2 minutes later we go close when from a cleared corner, the ball is chested down by Magina, but Hurley drills it just wide.

With a minute to go until half time I’m consulting my Portuguese phrase book to find unsavoury words to use in my team talk, but then another Amonike corner is nodded on at the near post by Olivier and headed in at the far post by Lassina Touré. That’s his first goal for us, and what a bloody good time to score it.

At half time I don’t use any of my new words, but I do commit them to memory for next time. I encourage the lads and tell us to go and control the game again in true Meatloaf style. Fabril will be shaken by our equaliser just before the break and we should be able to take advantage.

5 minutes after the restart, it becomes clear that Touré is really stepping it up. He plays the ball right over the top of the defence for Magina, who takes it down well and lays it off for Kevin to toe poke into the back of the net from the edge of the area.

A further 5 minutes passes before Amonike is set away down the right by Antunes. He gets to the byline and cuts the ball back for Magina, who takes a touch and thumps in our 3rd. We’re back.

Seidi and Aires come on for Hurley, who has been playing with a thigh strain since the 1st half, and Coelho, who is lacking match fitness but wasn’t too bad after his 20 second howler. We fall back into the safe, comfortable Heróis Original to see out the match.

Renato Silva gets a 15 minute run out and Akpua has a decent chance saved by Serginho, and the match is over. We’re back to winning ways.

*Sernacheing

Definition: To Sernache a fellow football club is to bore them to death and rob them of 2 points by playing awful, cagey, unentertaining football.

Mini-sode 32.5 >

Find me on:

Franjo’s Youtube Channel (For General Gaming Videos)

That’s Amora (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep31)

The thing about having a 100% record is that you start to become terrified of losing your 100% record.

FYI – I’ve retrospectively added video highlights for every single match we’ve played in this Story – Both the Höllviken and Angrense matches. Enjoy!

< Meta-sode 30.5

OK, we’ve won 8 competitive matches in a row since the start of the season. That’s a 100% record. The thing about having a 100% record is that you start to become terrified of losing your 100% record. It’s nonsensical. I feel like because we’re doing so well the pressure on me is mounting up more than it would be if we’d dropped a few points.

It’s cup day today. The third round. We’ve beaten a lower league side and a LigaPro side so far in the Taça de Portugal, and now we face someone on our own level.

Gouveia haven’t made the best start in Group D of the Championship. They’ve picked up 6 points in 6 matches so we should really be turning them over.

I’m staying consistent with our lineup though, I won’t be sending out the reserves because I’d quite enjoy a good cup run. We go Project: Meatloaf and we go with a very predictable lineup.

We go 1-0 up quickly when Benjamim stabs the ball home from close range after Magina helps the ball on from an Antunes pass. That’s his 1st goal of the season.

Kevin nods down an Amonike corner to tee up Magina after quarter of an hour but his shot is saved brilliantly from rolling into the bottom corner by Bolas.

5 minutes later though, Magina releases Benjamim again and he drills the ball into the bottom corner from the edge of the area.

With 22 minutes gone, Lassina Touré picks up a booking and just 5 minutes later he leaps to head the ball and decides to slap it with his hand instead. He sees a 2nd yellow, which makes things tricky. I bring off Antunes, keen to give him a rest anyway, and replace him with Seidi. Our shape changes to more of a 4-1-1-2-1.

We keep pushing anyway through the rest of the first half. Magina goes close when he runs from deep but shoots straight at Bolas, and then a good cross from Vitor Miranda is nodded down for Magina by Amonike, but the usually clinical striker blazes the ball over from just inside the area.

At half time we keep the same shape but change our system to the more reserved Heróis Original. Diogo Coelho comes on for Amonike.

It takes less than 30 seconds of the second half for Coelho to play a great ball through for Kevin at the far post, but his half volley comes back off the post.

After an hour I give Bruce Ávila a run out. Kevin gives the armband to Jaime Seidi as he makes his way off.

10 minutes later, Tiago Silva (Not that one) gets on the end of a great Gnahore through ball and slots the ball away to make things interesting.

From then on we try to kill the game with counter attacks. Mauro Aires goes closest when he takes down a Seidi free kick and puts the ball just over, but when our 3rd goal does come it seems familiar. Magina sets up Benjamim, who boots it into the top corner. For those keeping count, that’s 3 assists for Magina and a superb, unexpected and completely deserved hat trick for our number 17.

What can we do to put a cherry on top of that win then? How about a new long term contract for Carlos Antunes? Go on then. To be fair we agreed this contract shortly after he made his debut for the club but he’s only just turned 17 so has only just been able to sign. I am very pleased. He’s getting better and better, he’s proved himself to be mature beyond his years and he’s shown that he’s absolutely ready for the starting first team spot I’ve given him since Medeiros left.

Incidentally, with the Belgian Pro League about a third of the way done, Medeiros has sadly only made 2 substitute appearances. He’s got work to do if he’s to break into the first team by the look of it.

I’d tell you how Marco Silveira’s doing at Craiova but I honestly couldn’t give less of a shit. In fact looking through our list of outgoing transfers from the Summer, the only one that really interests me apart from Jordanes is Diogo Silva, a young centre back that I doubt I ever mentioned to you. He was 4th choice so I don’t think that he ever featured for me last season, and because of the imminent arrivals of Olivier and Touré I allowed his contract to run out in the hopes that he’d go and get first team football somewhere else. And he is. He’s getting a fair bit of game time for a little club from Merseyside named Tranmere Rovers.

Anyway, up next is Amora at our place. Amora have the worst goal difference in the league with -9. They sit in 8th place having lost half of their matches and won just the once.

The only changes we make are Batista coming in on the right in place of Amonike, who hasn’t been having a massive impact of late, and Seidi coming in for the suspended Touré at the back.

We start well, which is starting to become a very pleasing trait of ours. Batista instantly justifies his inclusion when he swings a cross in to the edge of the area in the 7th minute. Kevin hits the ball on the volley and it bounces off Magina on the way in.

Seidi gets the ball into the back of the net after quarter of an hour after an Antunes free kick is nodded on by Olivier, but the goal doesn’t count as Jaime had strayed offside.

Never mind though, 5 minutes later a great passing move ends in Magina getting yet another assist. This time he plays Antunes through and the young number 10 celebrates his new contract by drilling the ball past poor Kiko to double our lead.

I’m quite hopeful of putting 1 or 2 more past Kiko before half time, but as it transpires the rest of the half is cagier. It’s not until 10 minutes after half time that we go close again. Benjamim threads a pass through for Batista on the right, but he drags his shot wide of the far post.

2 minutes later we do bag another, and Magina bags another assist. He’s had an incredible start to the season. This time he lays the ball off for Hurley, who slams the ball to Kiko’s right from the edge of the area.

With half an hour to go Batista again puts the ball wide of the far post when Magina puts him through. Shooting is definitely something to work on for him.

I bring on Renato Silva for the last 20 minutes to give him a chance to shine. Magina makes way and Silva instantly sets up Hurley for a good chance, but Kiko gets his hands to the ball possibly for the first time.

For the last 10 minutes I give Rúby and Ávila a run out, and with 6 minutes to go, Amora decide that they’re ready to play some football. Pardal squares the ball for Afonso, who takes a touch and smashes it off the bar. At least the away fan had something to get out of his seat for eh?

So that’s 10 wins in 10. I’m still terrified of losing our 100% record for some daft reason, but Magina has no such concerns. He’s in the form of his life, having scored 10 goals and assisted 8, and it’s an absolute pleasure to have him in the squad.

After our next 2 matches, we’ll have reached the half way point of the first phase. But we’ve still got to get through Pinhalnovense and Fabril do Barreiro, who are 3rd and 4th respectively. And bloody hell if we can beat both of them, I’d back us to win all 18 matches.

Episode 32 >
Find me on:

Franjo’s Youtube Channel (For General Gaming Videos)

Video Highlights – Yes or No? (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Meta-sode 30.5)

Do you want to watch match highlights from this story?
Have your say!

< Episode 30

Olá meus amigos,

Just a quick one. You’ll probably have noticed in episode 30 (If you follow this story on franjo.wordpress.com) that I have uploaded match highlights so that they can be watched on youtube. This is basically a trial. Here’s what I’m thinking:

I’m always trying to make this story better and this idea could do just that, but only if the people who follow the story are interested. I like the idea of you having the option of watching the goals, especially if they’re as beautiful as certain goals from a certain winger that you’ll see in an episode next week, which actually inspired me to do this.

The thing is, if you guys have been following my story so far, I assume that you enjoy reading it. I’ve had a few people tell me they read while they’re at work, where I’m assuming watching videos might not be possible. If enough of you like the idea of having the option to be able to watch the highlights, then let me know and I’ll continue uploading them. I may even go back to episode 1 and start uploading them retrospectively because I’m insane.

If nobody is really interested in watching highlights in video form then that’s fine, we’ll carry on with our text and screenshot format, but just thought I’d throw it out there to see what you think.

Email me at franjofm23@gmail.com or use the contact info below!

Cheers,

Franjo

Ps – Vamos Heróis!

Episode 31 >

Find me on:

Franjo’s Youtube Channel (For General Gaming Videos)

The First Real Test (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep30)

This is one of the big ones.

< Episode 29

Look, I’ve got nothing against the underdogs. The scrappy “Just happy to be here” teams. I really don’t, and I wish them well. We’re in Beja to face off against Despertar and their Season hasn’t started awfully well. After a surprisingly good 2-0 away win over Aljustrelense on the opening day, they promptly registered 2 back to back 1-1 draws against no-hopers Juventude Évora and Sp Viana Alentejo. They followed this up by getting thrown out of the Taça de Portugal at the first time of asking, courtesy of Olhanense, who are gunning for the promotion stage in Group H of our division, before getting swept aside by Barreirense. Despertar are sitting in 4th place in our group but they’ve already played most of the weaker sides. Quite honestly, I fear for them this season.

Hey, on a related note actually, did I mention that we’re in 1st place in the group? It’s been nothing, really. A Midas touch here, a sprinkle of genius there… In all seriousness I will not accept a league finish which puts us through to the relegation stage, which means a top 2 finish is a must. I’m anticipating some tough matches in October, especially against Barreirense and Pinhalnovense, so we can’t afford to slip up against teams like this.

We go with Project: Meatloaf, we go with what I believe is our strongest lineup, and we go out to continue our winning streak.

Within the first 10 minutes, Hurley goes down clutching his thigh, which is worrying. He’s been an extremely consistent creator for us since he arrived in Hero Creek. Luckily after he limps off the pitch to be assessed by Pedro Dalot, our head physio, we find that it’s just a bruised thigh. He’ll stay on for now but I’ll be keeping an eye on him.

Just over 20 minutes into the match Touré heads the ball to Hurley, who’s looking OK. He plays it on first time to Antunes, who brings the ball into the Despertar half with his head raised, looking for the pass. He sees Kevin on the left and plays a one-two with him, before finding Magina on the edge of the area. Magina takes the ball round a defender with 1 touch before squaring it for Hurley, who drives it low and hard into the bottom corner. We’re on our way to 7 wins out of 7 in all competitions and we look unstoppable.

10 minutes later, Amonike sends a corner in but Brites heads it away. Antunes picks the loose ball up 35 yards out and brings it forward, before stroking it to Benjamim on edge of area. The centre mid turns and slots the ball through for Hurley, who hits it first time with his left peg. His shot beats the keeper but comes back off the far post. The ball starts to roll back across the line and Magina is the first man on the scene, getting there before the keeper to knock it in and double our lead.

In first half injury time it could be 3 when a good passing move culminates with Benjamim chipping the ball to CM9 on the edge of the box. The big man chests it down and gives it back, before Benjamim slides it into the area for Amonike to run onto. The winger loses his marker and gets to the ball, but blazes it well over from 10 yards with his first time shot.

At half time I replace Amonike with Batista. Not specifically because of the sitter he just missed, but rather because he seems to have gone off the boil a bit lately. He’s been quiet so it can’t hurt to give young Batista a bit of match time in his place.

Just before the hour mark, Antunes chips in a free kick from the right wing. Olivier nods it on at the near post and Touré arrives to volley the ball goal-wards. Unfortunately he smashes it at Carvalho, the Despertar keeper. He can’t hold onto it and can only parry the ball away, before their left back Santos clears.

Shortly afterwards, Benjamim gets caught in possession just into the Despertar half. Freitas wins the ball and gets it to David, starting a slow passing move to get the ball up towards our goal, before eventually David slides the ball through for Rodrigo Borges inside our area. He turns and gives it back, and David places his shot into the top right corner via the bar.

The next 10 minutes are tense, but then Olivier plays the ball to Aires inside our half. The left back takes a touch and smashes it right footed over the Despertar defence and into the central channel. Magina latches onto it, brings it down and places it into bottom left corner to restore our cushion. I bring on Coelho for Aires, as the former needs a bit of match practice. That was a great assist from Aires though and he’s played well this season. Coelho will have a job dislodging him from the starting lineup.

Only a couple of minutes later, and after a good passing move from Os Heróis, Antunes stands with the ball 35 yards out. He moves it sideways to Benjamim, who flicks it on superbly with his heel. Hurley receives the ball and plays it straight on to Magina, who finds Kevin, who holds it up and draws in a couple of defenders before releasing Magina in the area. His shot is good, but it’s tipped onto the bar and cleared. Excellent move though.

5 minutes later, Antunes turns inside from the right wing and crosses left footed deep into the area, but Kevin’s header is straight at Carvalho. We are hammering on the door, trying to kill the game off with a 4th goal.

And with 5 minutes to go, Antunes spreads the ball out to Batista on the right wing. He floats a deep cross to the far post but nobody’s there. Samiro heads it away but only as far as Kevin, stood 8 yards out to left. He chests it down, picks his spot and smashes it into the top right corner. Game over.

Another potential banana skin and another convincing win. I know I set my standards high for this season but I have to say this team is impressing the hell out of me. The bad news is that Hurley will be out for 3-4 days with his bruised thigh but the good news is that out next match is in 10 days, so it shouldn’t matter at all. By the way, we aren’t going up against another minnow or another underdog. We’re going up against Barreirense.

Yes, Barreirense are coming to town. This is one of the big ones. One of the true tests of who we are and what we’re made of. Barreirense are 2nd in the league, 2 points behind us after winning their 1st 4 matches and most recently playing out a goalless draw with Moura. I thought that they and Pilhanovense would be our rivals this season but as it turns out, just the 2 of us are pulling away from the rest of the league. We’re both undefeated. For now.

Do you know what I don’t need at such a crucial moment in our season? Whining. Bruce Ávila thinks that he should be in the team instead of Kevin and I don’t stop laughing until he sheepishly walks out of my office and closes the door behind him. He does have potential as a winger but come on.

We also have a tactical dilemma. Do we go with the more stable, balanced Heróis Original system as we’re against such worthy opposition? Or do we stick with formation that’s seen us win 7 matches in a row in all competitions?

You probably know the answer. We go unchanged.

We start brightly. Amonike’s free kick from just outside the area in the 3rd minute crashes off the bar and Monsecour puts it behind.

That corner leads to nothing, but after a quarter of an hour we win another as we continue to take the game to Barreirense. Amonike swings it out to the far post, Benjamim nods it back across goal and Magina is there, but he connects poorly with his header and puts it well wide.

A few minutes later we’re the ones that concede a corner. Félix swings it in and Magina heads it away as far as Brigues, who collects it 35 yards out. He holds the ball up and plays it through to Lagoa on the edge of area. Lagoa squares it to Caraballo, who passes it forwards to Severino on the penalty spot. Severino smashes the ball into the left hand side of the net.

I say nothing. I do nothing. I don’t even change my expression. I can physically feel us slip to 2nd in the table. I can feel us shifting downwards and I can hear the sound of stone grinding on stone, like those big stone doors in old films. We all simultaneously drop with a loud clunk.

5 minutes later, Lagoa is pressed on his right wing, deep in the Barreirense half. He tries a clearance, but it doesn’t go far and Benjamim gets to the ball, playing it straight to Antunes. The young number 10 comes forward and gives it back to Benjamim, who plays in Kevin on the right. Kevin loses his marker and whips a cross in to the far post. Dujardim misses his header and Magina gets to it, stabbing a volley home and pulling us level.

We’re back on top. There is no stone grinding on stone this time, we’re floating silently but smugly back up to the top where we belong, waving 2 fingers at our opponents as we go.

Just after the half hour mark, Everino comes forward and puts the ball inside to Silva, who plays it straight on for Caraballo. Caraballo holds it up, plays a one-two with Severino and then lays it off for Lagoa just inside the area, who smashes it to Serginho’s right and into the back of the net once again. Bollocks. Back down we go.

Just before half time, Elói catches a weak cross from Kevin and boots the ball forwards towards us. Caraballo beats Touré to the header and nods it on for Severino, who runs forward diagonally to edge of our area and shoots with power, but the ball flies just wide.

At half time we’re 2-1 down. The only other time we’ve been losing so far this season we were back before half time. This is worrying. Our first proper test and we’re failing. I tell the lads that I’m not impressed. I expect better from them at home, no matter who we’re facing.

Less than 5 minutes after the restart, Amonike steps up to take a corner and crosses it into the centre. Brigues heads the ball away as far as Benjamim, who’s stood on the right hand side of the box. The midfielder plays a one-two with Magina and then smashes a shot towards goal from 8 yards. Estádio Municipal de Angra do Heroismo falls silent. His shot bounces back off Judickas. Benjamim gets to the rebound and has another go, but his second shot bounces back off Dujardin. But then up steps our big centre back Olivier. He nips in front of Benjamim and executes a neat volley to open his account. 2-2.

With half an hour to go we need to go for it. I bring on Batista for Amonike, who apart from a couple of decent set pieces has been quiet again. With 28 minutes to go, Miranda takes a throw in on the right and gives the ball to Benjamim. He passes into the centre for Hurley, who steps forward and slides a ball through the defence for Magina to run onto. A collective intake of breath makes the ground fall silent once more. I stand in anticipation. So does Pedro. So do the fans. Magina latches onto Hurley’s pass, shoots left footed, and watches as the ball nestles into the bottom left corner.

Pandemonium ensues. I’m jumping and punching the air, Pedro looks like he’s about to cry, the fans are bouncing and cheering with glee. We lead Barreirense for the first time and now all we need to do is not fuck it up.

Shortly afterwards, Antunes passes the ball to Hurley, who plays another excellent through ball for Magina to run onto, but his right footed effort flies just wide.

With 15 minutes to, Antunes is sacrificed and replaced with Jaime Seidi. We revert to our Heróis Original system with Seidi as the holding man and Hurley behind Magina, where he’s pretty much been playing anyway.

With less than 10 minutes to go, a neat passing move results in Benjamim finding himself with the ball at his feet 30 yards out. He dashes forward, taking on a couple of defenders before shooting high and wide from 20 yards.

But that’s the last chance that either team creates. Vamos bloody Heróis!

We’re still on top, and we’ve taken possibly the most crucial 3 points we’ll take all season. Not only are we now 5 points clear of 2nd place, but we’ve also put down a marker. We are the only team allowed to remain unbeaten in this league. We won’t be stopped by a team like Barreirense, in fact, they’ll stop for us. We’ve got the most quality, the most desire and the most creativity in the Championship for my money. We’ve got the toughest defenders, the most dependable midfielders and the most clinical striker. We’ve floated back to the top of the pile and we’re smiling smugly down at everyone down below, while they gaze enviously back at us.

God, I love this team.

Meta-sode 30.5 >

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What Does Kevin Do? – Part 2 (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep29)

CM9 holds it up and lays it off for Kevin. Time seems to stand still for him once more…

< Episode 28

“Leighton Baines!” I exclaim.

“Luis Figo” comes the deadpan reply.

“Steven Gerrard!” I say incredulously.

“Cristiano Ronaldo” comes the retort.

“David Beckham! Frank Lampard! Alan Shearer! Matt le bleeding Tissier!” I list the names off one by one, growing more infuriated each time. “You haven’t got a leg to stand on Nuno, that’s 6 incredible English penalty takers.”

Nuno leans forward on his mower and scrunches up his leathery face. “Beckham… Lampard… Gerrard… These are no good.” He mutters.

“Oh, that one time.” I roll my eyes.

“And who is Bayton Lanes?” He asks, smirking slightly. My fists clench involuntarily.

“You’d better be joking”, I tell him sternly.

At that moment, I notice Pedro Botelho walking across the pitch towards us, clutching a notepad and a cup of coffee. We’re welcoming Sporting Clube de Viana do Alentejo to our place today, and he’ll be wanting me to brief him on our tactics. He gives Nuno a stern look as he gets closer to us.

“Don’t you have mowing to do?” He asks flatly. Nuno says something back to him in rapid Portuguese and I’m nowhere near fluent enough to keep up, but I’m sure I hear the word “Beckham” in there. Pedro cracks up laughing.

“Cheers Pedro” I say loudly, taking his cup of coffee. He stops laughing and looks quite sheepish. “And you,” I say, turning back to Nuno and taking a sip of my newly acquired and scalding hot beverage for emphasis, “Finish this pitch and then go look up Leighton Baines. And then David Unsworth. Educate yourself.”

Nuno chuckles as he turns away to continue his mowing. “You fail today Inglês” he calls out, as if it were compulsory.

“Piss off” I call back. It’s OK, It’s all a bit more light hearted between me and Nuno nowadays. Once you accept that he’s just a bitter old wind up merchant he’s actually alright. And he’s a patriot, you’ve got to respect that. Of course, it’s easy to be patriotic if your national side only won the Euros last year isn’t it. And I suppose if you’ve also got the best player in the world on your side then that’s just gravy.

I wish that just once it would pay off to be an English Patriot. If just one tournament could end without total humiliation, that’d be nice.

But, laughably improbable pipe dreams aside, we have work to do. Sporting Cl… I’ll just refer to them as Viana. Viana come into this game 8th in the league, having drawn 2 and lost 1 of their matches so far. We, in case I haven’t mentioned it, are top of the bloody league. We’ve won 3, scored 8 and conceded 0. Confidence is sky high and we’ve got the home advantage. Doesn’t it just feel like a match we’re destined to lose?

The plan is simple, because the simpler the plan, the more the players know what they’re doing and the less chance there is of them making a load of awful and needless mistakes. We will stick with our most standard Project: Meatloaf, and the most standard lineup we have, including Azevedo in net. Although I will be telling the players to express themselves and roam from their positions, as Viana will almost certainly sit right back and try to catch us on the break and I need us to be in the mindset that we should crush them.

For the first 10 minutes, I’m off my seat and smiling excitedly, filled to the brim with anticipation. For the next 10 minutes I’m back on my seat, waiting patiently for my excitement to be vindicated. For the 10 minutes after that my hand is over my mouth and my eyes dart nervously after the ball, willing it to fly into the Viana net and give us our breakthrough.In the 30th minute, Benjamim is robbed of the ball by Ostovari just inside the Viana half. He passes to Xande, who walks it forward, and plays in Fernandes on the left, who passes it straight to Pimentel 25 yards out. Lassina Touré comes to close Pimentel down but Ostovari runs into the space he leaves. Ostavari receives the ball and slots it under Azevedo first time. Our 425 minute clean sheet streak is over. At home. Against Viana. I’m fuming.

5 minutes later though the tables turn: Benjamim robs Ostovari on the half way line and plays it to Magina. Magina passes it to Kevin’s feet on the right and he chips it straight over to Hurley, 25 yards out. Hurley splits the defence with a magnificent through ball and Antunes goes one on one with the keeper, before placing the ball into the bottom left hand corner.

I instantly decide to make a change: Hurley will be a defensive playmaker. So far we’ve struggled with the gap between our defence and midfield in 2 ways, Viana are finding too much space there and our defenders are struggling to get the ball into midfield. Hurley playing in a deeper role should solve both problems. Anyway, I had hoped for a quick reaction from my players and I got it. Now let’s see what they can do.

It takes until the 53rd minute for either team to create a chance. From a free kick 35 yards out, Amonike passes short to Antunes, who plays it on for Kevin just outside the area, left of centre. Kevin slots a pass into the box and Cristiano Magina’s there to slot it into the far bottom corner. Júnior in the Viana goal has absolutely no chance.

2 minutes later it feels like the flood gates are opening: an Amonike corner is headed clear and Antunes picks up the ball on the left wing. He runs inside and plays in Magina, who turns and shoots left footed from the edge of the area into the top left corner. We’re 3-1 up.

I bring on Seidi for Hurley, who picked up a minor knock in the first half and has a booking to his name, and tell Seidi to hold position at the base of our midfield.

With 25 minutes to go, Olivier chips the ball out to Kevin 15 yards inside our half. Kevin plays a great ball down the left behind the Viana defence and Magina runs onto it, outmuscling Amoná, but his angle is too narrow and he pokes a shot at Júnior, who parries it away. I tell vice-captain Kevin to let the team know: We want more of that, pass into space as much as possible.

10 minutes later Touré wins the ball from Daniel after some patient Viana build up and plays a long ball forward to start a counter. It’s headed back by Amoná and comes to Antunes, who chips a pass over the top again for Magina. The big striker runs through one on one with the goalkeeper but Júnior closes the angle well and parries his shot. I note with mild annoyance that Benjamim is strolling around looking like the game’s already won. I hook him and bring on Rúby, who will play as a ball winner next to Seidi.

A few minutes after that, Amonike receives the ball just inside the Viana half, looks up, and plays a diagonal ball over the defence. Magina takes it down on his chest and shoots left footed, but Júnior saves again. Despite his 2 goals, CM9 isn’t having much luck today.

10 minutes to go, and the match isn’t slowing. Araújo robs Amonike just into the Viana half and starts a patient short passing move. Pimentel spots the run of Fernandes, who’s sprinting inside from the left wing. He chips the ball through and Fernandes latches onto it, and squares it to Xande, who’s unmarked 6 yards out. He slams it into the top corner and the game’s back on. We fall back into the Heróis Original system, still with a withdrawn double pivot and with Antunes also dropping back.

With only 5 minutes to go, Viana have a corner, but it’s poor and Azevedo plucks it out of the air. He punts the ball forward and Kevin nods it on for Magina, in acres of space. He runs to the edge of the area and shoots left footed, but it goes just wide.

That’s fine. I think to myself as the whistle blows. We were always going to concede at some point but at least that’s 4 wins out of 4.

During the next week, before our Taça de Portugal 2nd round match, I make a signing. Diogo Coelho is a left back, and I think he’s the left back I’ve been waiting for.

He’s in his prime at 25 years old and he has excellent quality. He’s very well rounded, fairly quick, very determined and he’ll do a job technically. His decision making is pretty poor, hence the moustache, but I expect that once fit he’ll be my first choice left back. We signed him on a free after he was released by Santa Clara, so he should have plenty to talk about with Serginho, and how strange is it that he spent a year on loan in 2015/16, making 33 appearances for our next opponents: LigaPro side Farense.

Farense are flying so far as they won their first 4 league games, which places them 4th out of 20 sides. Nevertheless they’re coming to our place off the back of 2 straight league defeats, so I’m confident that they can be got at. Jorginho will be one to watch, as current joint top scorer in the LigaPro with 4 goals in 6.

I’ll be taking no chances with my selection: Heróis Original will keep us steady and should give us a good platform to dominate the game after Farense start to tire. Azevedo is replaced by Serginho as he’s still not conceded a goal, and Seidi replaces Antunes. Hurley will be our number 10 with Benjamim and Seidi behind him.

It takes 5 minutes for my plans to be shot to bits. A Sousa cross towards danger man Jorginho is volleyed by Olivier and nodded on by Benjamim, but not far away enough. Vieirinha is there 20 yards out to head the ball down for Sócrates, who takes a touch and boots it into the top left corner. This could be a very long day.

After almost half an hour the match is ridiculously one-sided against us. Esgueirão chips in a free kick from the edge of our area, but it’s headed away by Miranda. Esgueirão takes it down and passes down the right for Rateira, who’s unmarked. Rateira turns inside and squares it brilliantly for Sócrates, who smashes it on the half volley, but Serginho parries it wide. We counter with a decent passing move but it ends with Kevin blazing a shot well wide.

I decide that I’ve seen enough. “MEATLOAF!”, I scream from the touchline, before turning to Antunes and gesturing for him to warm up. I’m getting some funny looks from the opposition bench but I ignore them. Antunes replaces Seidi in the 29th minute. Let’s play some bloody football shall we?

We work our way back into the match, slowly but surely over the next half hour. At least it’s now a contest. Just before the hour mark, Antunes intercepts a Rateira pass and plays the ball to Magina. CM9 holds it up and lays it off for Kevin. Time seems to stand still for him once more. What does Kevin do?

Kevin is 40 yards from goal. Magina, Antunes and Hurley are all 10 yards in front of him, but for some reason they’re all stood together and are practically being marked by 2 Farense midfielders, Livramento and Pinto. Benjamim is stood quite a distance away, 25 yards out but level with the far, right hand post. He’s an option but again, he’s being closely marked by Vieirinha, so a pass would be risky. Amonike is over on the right wing with space in front to run into, but it would require an excellent pass to set the winger away. There’s a gap between where Livramento and Pinto are and where Vieirinha is stood. So what does Kevin do?

Kevin runs.

He darts forwards. Livramento closes him down and sticks in a foot, but Kevin knocks the ball past him and runs around the other way. Kevin keeps running. He shimmies past the challenge of Pinto. He’s 20 yards out now. Kevin draws his right foot back and rifles a shot as far into the top left corner as it could have possibly gone. The Keeper doesn’t even move.

After a few seconds I realise that I’m laughing. A high pitched, maniacal laugh. Pedro has lifted me up from behind as our fans, our staff and our players all simultaneously erupt into cheers and applause. What a goal! What a bloody goal! We’re back in the game!

5 minutes later, Antunes hits a free kick from just outside the area and it smashes off the bar, before Erick clears. I bring on Batista for Amonike, who’s been quiet. We’re in the ascendancy here and there’s no room for quiet in this side.

With just under 20 minutes to go, Miranda throws the ball to Antunes on the right hand side of the Farense penalty area and he dribbles inside, losing his marker Sócrates, dashing past the static pair of Esgueirão and Vieirinha, before smashing a left footed shot towards the near top corner. He’s denied by an incredible fingertip save by Hidalgo, but I shout my encouragement anyway. That was excellent from the young man.

A few minutes after, Miranda chips the ball into the centre for Hurley, who plays it on for Magina, 30 yards out. CM9 lays it back for Hurley, who passes straight to Antunes. He looks up and squeezes an excellent ball through for Batista, who gets goal-side of Esgueirão on the right. The tiny winger takes a touch, avoiding Sousa’s slide tackle, and plays a low ball in to Magina, who deftly strokes it into the bottom right.

Stick a fork in this match, it’s done. I sprint onto the pitch to join the top of the pile of celebrating players. What a match. What a comeback. Take that, Farense. Take that, LigaPro. Take a bow, meus Heróis.

I bring Kevin off with just minutes to go. Farense, the comfortable pre-match favourites, are out of ideas and the game is all but over. Kevin soaks in the adoration of the fans as he slowly makes his way to the sideline, high fiving his replacement, debutant Diogo Coelho, as he goes. I look round and spot Nuno watching from the front row, some way down the touchline. I give him a thumbs up and he gives me a non-committal nod in return. “Rickie Lambert”, I mouth exaggeratedly to him. He scrunches up his face again and shrugs. Bloody hell, Nuno.

Episode 30 >

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On the Road Again (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep28)

The time for respect is over. I want every team in the league to fear us. To hate us.

< Episode 27

I’m the first off the plane. We’ve arrived in Évora for our 3rd match of the season against Juventude Évora, a newly promoted club who we should really be making mincemeat of.

As soon as I step out of the plane and down the staircase to make my way towards the terminal, I switch my phone on and let out a groan. 23 missed calls. Why won’t they leave me alone? I’ve made myself perfectly clear haven’t I? No, you can’t buy Antunes. No, you can’t buy Batista. No, you can’t buy Silva. So why am I drowning in missed calls from several Liga Nos, Greek Super League and Ligue 1 sides? I’ve never known anything like it, some of them have been calling me all Summer and are now calling 2 or 3 times a day. Dinamo Bucharesti’s latest bid for Batista could have risen to £75k, which for a club like us is an extraordinary amount of cash, but I am not selling, and I’ve been so clear about that.

Annoyed, I switch my phone back off. Is it possible to just ghost other football clubs? Do they eventually give up if you keep ignoring them? I don’t know but I don’t need this today. We’ve got preparation to do.

I won’t fall into the trap that so many fall into. I won’t send my team out gung-ho against a poor side who will be sitting right back and trying to play on the counter. We need to be smart. I’ve looked at how they played in their first 2 games and they’ll most likely set up with a narrow 4-3-1-2, focusing everything through the middle. This leaves me with an interesting predicament as against the smaller clubs I generally leave the centre of my midfield fairly open by allowing Hurley and Benjamim to get forward with attacks. So do I play safe and adopt a more disciplined central midfield set up? Maybe even throw a holding man in there? Or do I trust my players to make the right decisions and not leave a massive gap in the midfield that Évora can exploit?

I opt for the former. If it turns out that I’m playing it too safe then we can always change it up. We will stick with Project: Meatloaf but with Antunes dropping out, he’s actually lacking fitness anyway so that’s fine, and Seidi coming back in after his suspension as the holding man. Hurley will play in the number 10 role again. Serginho stays in net so that I can have another look at him, but to be honest I don’t recall either him or Azevedo having to do any actual goalkeeping so far this season, so it’s difficult to choose between them.

We’ll adapt to their set up too. I instruct the players not to be so patient in working the ball into the box, and instead to attack both flanks quickly, with overlapping full backs. Évora are weakest on the wings so we should be able to double up on them there.

I make my way to the dugout, sit down and open my notebook. I’m very interested to see how my team adapts to the changes we’ve made.

We win the toss and Magina kicks off, playing the ball to Kevin on the left. He plays it inside to Hurley, who takes a touch before spreading the ball out onto the right for Amonike. Amonike takes on the opposition full back and sprints down the wing, hugging the touchline. When he’s level with the penalty box he drills in a low cross and Magina gets in front of his marker to stab the ball home. I almost feel like laughing. 16 seconds in and we’re ahead.

10 minute later, Aires plays a one-two with Seidi from a throw in on the left, and then passes the ball inside to Hurley. With one touch, Hurley sends a through ball onto the left wing for Kevin to chase. He keeps it in at the byline and puts in another low cross that reaches Magina at the near post. Magina spins away from his marker and just as the keeper dives to his left, anticipating a shot to the far post, Magina goes near, thumping the ball into the back of the net and putting us 2-0 up.

A few minutes later we’re coming forward again. Hurley cuts inside from the left and lays the ball back for Seidi, who pings it first time down the left wing for Aires to run onto. The full back whips a cross in but Magina can’t reach it this time, and Carmo clears as far as Hurley, who’s waiting on the edge of the area. He keeps his composure, takes a touch and smashes the ball goal-wards, but it takes a massive deflection off of Gouveia and bounces towards the far post where Amonike is arriving. The winger contorts his body impressively in order to reach the awkwardly bouncing ball with a right footed volley and smacks it past poor Mateus in Évora’s net.

3-0 up after quarter of an hour. I close the notebook. I may have over-prepared for this match.

And it isn’t slowing down. Only a few minutes later Évora have their first chance when João Nabor hoofs a free kick from the right side of the half way line towards the far post. Ricardo Quintino finds himself in space and heads the ball back across goal, but nobody is there to get the final touch. Instead, Mauro Aires clears the ball to the left wing and Amonike races Bicho and beats him to it on the half way line. He nips away down the left, sprinting full pelt and only turning inside once he reaches the penalty area. This gives Bicho a chance to catch up and he slides in recklessly, but Amonike skilfully skips over his challenge before his disappointing placed effort rolls harmlessly into the arms of the keeper Mateus. Don’t let that tarnish your opinion of how well Amonike is playing today though, he is making absolutely everything happen so far.

30 seconds later we have a throw in on the right hand side, level with the penalty area. Miranda throws it to Amonike, who gives it straight back. Miranda whips the ball first time towards the near post and Magina executes a superb volley into the far top corner. He’s not exactly Robbie Fowler or Sadio Mané but a 19 minute hat trick is still phenomenal in my book.

The game mercifully goes down a gear in the next 10 minutes, allowing me to catch my breath, but just after the half hour mark Amonike swings a corner to the near post and Olivier rises above Bicho, glancing a header across goal, but it goes narrowly wide of the far post.

At half time I try to keep the team’s spirits high. That was as one-sided a performance as I’ve seen in my career. Well, apart from the games at Höllviken but we always seemed to be on the wrong end of those. I decide that we may as well go for as many goals as we can. Seidi comes off, as it turns out playing him was an unnecessary precaution. Antunes replaces him and moves forward, while Hurley drops back. Hurley will play as a defensive deep lying playmaker though. I want him to stay back but use his range of passing to start attacks from a safe position.

The second half is quiet for the first 25 minutes, and then an Amonike corner is headed away by Bicho and cleared down the left by João Nabor. Macedo gets onto the loose ball and brings it inside, then plays it in to Rapha. Rapha plays it into the area first time for Fernandes but he rushes his shot and the ball flies high and wide.

From the resulting goal kick, Serginho plays the ball out long but an Évora defender heads it back as far as Kevin on the right wing. He skips past Hugo’s slide tackle and bursts down the right wing. Once he gets to the byline he chips a cross in, but it’s headed away by Fonseca as far as Benjamim just outside the area. Benjamim has defenders in front of him, so he fakes the shot and instead squares the ball for the unmarked Antunes, who takes a touch and strokes it into the bottom right corner of the net. The young number 10 is off the mark for us and we now lead Évora by 5 goals to 0.

I instantly bring on Fernando Batista and Renato Sanches for Amonike and Magina, who have both had excellent games.

10 minutes from time, Hurley wins the ball in our half and lays it back to Olivier, who spreads it out to Kevin on the left. He carries the ball over the half way line and puts a great ball over the top for Silva, who’s running through the central channel behind the defence. The 16 year old takes it down but his left footed shot is parried behind by Mateus.

Now we’re talking. Before the season started, every team in this league would’ve looked at our squad, looked at how we finished last season, and they would’ve respected us. They would have probably worried more about us than the other teams. But the time for respect is over. I want every team in the league to fear us. To hate us. And it’s results like this that are going to make them do just that.

3 days later and we’re on the road again. Today we have a mid-week match in Lourosa, North-Western Portugal, where we take on Lusitânia Lourosa in my very first Taça de Portugal cup match. Lourosa are in the 4th tier so even though we are away, we should keep up our excellent form today.

I decide to send out the fringe players and the ones I’ve either not tried out yet or not given any game time to this season. Azevedo starts in net by virtue of having made 1 start to Serginho’s 2, Serpa and Xéxé make their full debuts at full back, with the old partnership of Miguel Oliveira and Ivan Santos between them. Santos no longer wants to leave and instead wants to fight for his place in the team, but that ship may have already sailed. Our defence has been great so far without him. I’m tweaking Project: Meatloaf, pushing the midfield double pivot backwards because I’ve had the bright idea of playing captain Valadão as an anchor man next to Rúby, which should give us a nice mix of brains and legs in the middle of the park. Batista and debutant Bruce Ávila will start as orthodox wingers, but will periodically swap sides and play as inside forwards, with Arruda between them as a shadow striker. Renato Silva plays alone up top. The only fringe player I can’t accomodate with this system is our now 4th choice striker Wilson Dias, who didn’t impress me at all in pre-season, but I’ll bring him on at some point.

Just over 10 minutes into the match, Xéxé throws the ball down the left wing to Arruda, who lays it inside for Ávila. He shifts it onto his left and then drills in a great through ball for Silva. Silva hits it left footed on the turn but his shot goes narrowly over.

10 minutes later Valadão loops a free kick into the centre from the left wing. Oliveira gets his head to it on the penalty spot but his sideways header is completely non-threatening and looks to be heading out onto the wing. However in a moment of madness, Vasco makes the decision to head the ball back across his own goal into an incredibly dangerous area. The Lourosa defenders are stunned, they’re frozen in place. This makes it very easy for Bruce Ávila to find space at the far post and slot the ball past the keeper, bagging himself a debut goal.

The match from that point on is a scrappy affair. It’s very much what you’d expect from a match between a lower league side and a team full of reserves.

In fact, nothing of note actually happens until the 68th minute, when Serpa throws the ball to Valadão just inside our own half and he plays a long pass down the right wing. Silva runs onto it and chips it across to the far post, where Batista is lurking to hit it on the half volley, doubling our lead and opening his professional goalscoring account.

That goal sparks something in us. 5 minutes later Silva lays the ball back for Serpa, who uses his pace to charge down the right wing and then squares the ball to Rúby just outside the area. Rúby takes a touch and hammers a shot against the angle between bar and upright, and the ball is headed clear. Wilson Dias comes on to replace Hélder Arruda in the attacking midfield role. They’re about as comfortable there as each other, which is to say sort of.

With 10 minutes to play, Rúby surges forward into the final third and plays a neat one-two with Batista to his left. He then feeds Silva, who’s stood on the edge of the area with his back to goal. Silva turns and spots the run of Dias to his right, and he chips the ball through for him, leaving Dias with a sitter. Dias’ half volley though is straight at the keeper Emanuel, who parries it behind.

With 2 minutes to go we’re still pushing for a 3rd. Emanuel’s short goal kick is sloppy and Silva gets to the ball before the daydreaming centre back Ferreira. He dribbles forward to the edge of the area but Ferreira, keen to save face, closes him down fiercely, making Silva panic and skew his shot wide.

A minute later a good give and go between Batista and Xéxé forces Lourosa to give away a corner. Ávila swings it into the centre and Xéxé powers a header towards the top left corner, but Emanuel saves well before Martyr clears.

We still aren’t done though, into injury time we go and Valadão brings the ball forward into space, before playing it to Ávila, who’s cutting in from the right. He shoots towards the far top corner but Emanuel saves well again to keep the score respectable.

I can’t say I was particularly pleased with the first 68 minutes, apart from the goal, but in the end our reserves pulled their fingers out and played some nice football. Some of them have given me a lot to think about. Silva, who initially seemed so composed in front of goal on his debut, needs to work on making the most of his chances. He’s easily rattled and I think the last time he shot with his preferred right foot he scored, but he’s done nothing since except snatch at chances with his left. I’ve far from given up on him, but I know now what he can improve on. I might have a word with Magina, to see if he can help him with his game.

Ávila gave a very good account of himself, as did the 2 full backs, and I was also impressed with Rúby and Valadão, although I think those 2 would struggle to hold the midfield against a better opposition that would ask them more questions.

But all in all, I’m happy: we’re top of the league, we’ve won our cup match, and we’ve still not conceded a bloody goal. And that’ll do for me.

Episode 29 >

Find me on:

Franjo’s Youtube Channel (For General Gaming Videos)

3-Horse Race (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep27)

This had better not be an omen. I bloody hate omens.

< Mini-sode 26.5

I stand on a gravel path, wearing my trusty grey coat, a rucksack weighing heavily on my shoulders. Ahead of me lies a long, winding road that wraps itself around a distant mountain, the top of which is obscured by clouds in front of a blood red sky. The clouds turn from blue to red as I watch them, swirling and twisting, breaking apart and reforming.

“Franjo…” a booming voice echoes. “FRANJO!”

I jolt awake to see a familiar face just inches from my own. It’s Pedro Botelho, my assistant Manager. He beams as he sees that I am awake. “Ah, apologies for waking you my friend but we are landing soon.” He says as he removes himself from my personal space and sits down in the seat next to me, buckling his seatbelt.

We have arrived in Moura to play our first opponents of the new season: The efficiently named “Moura”. I don’t really know what to expect from them, which worries me slightly. They had a torrid campaign this time last year, finishing 8th out of 10 teams in their group in the first stage and looking like a relatively safe bet for relegation. But then they had an excellent Relegation Stage, finishing 2nd in their group like we did. Now they’re predicted 4th so I just don’t know how good they’re meant to be.

With this in mind, I will opt for the safer of the 2 systems I’ve created here so far: Heróis Original. Although it will be tweaked slightly as I have mainly picked the team that have most impressed me during pre-season.

Azevedo starts between the sticks, but Serginho will have the chance to impress me in our next match. Our back 4 is almost unrecognisable, with Vitor Miranda the lone survivor alongside Lassina Touré, Olivier and Mauro Aires. I’d rather have Miguel Oliveira as backup than a starter and Santos has recently decided he should be allowed to move for free so he’s the latest player to enter my bad books. Rúby partners Jaime Seidi in a withdrawn double pivot, although Rúby will be getting forward to support attacks. Amonike and Kevin start on the flanks, with Hurley trying his hand at the number 10 role between them. Antunes is back in full training but is not quite fit enough to start. Magina starts as the lone striker.

I walk out through the tunnel and take a deep breath. The summer break is such a bloody long time, I say to myself as a broad grin stretches across my face. The players take their positions, the referee blows his whistle, and our new season gets underway.

Almost quarter of an hour in Moura are pushing, but we break forward on the counter: Moura have their defensive line far too high, it’s pretty much on the half way line. Magina holds the ball up just into the Moura half before releasing Amonike on the right with a good pass behind the defence. Amonike sprints to the byline, chased by a couple of defenders but he’s too quick for them. When he reaches the edge of the pitch he cuts the ball back to Hurley, who sends the keeper the wrong way from 10 yards.

Pedro and I leap to our feet, punching the air. For all the preparation and research that went on this Summer, there was always a voice in the back of my mind saying “You don’t know anything about these teams, they could all be better than anyone you faced last season. You could be a few goals down in the first half of the first match”. Well we’re back and we’re refreshed, and right now I’d back us to beat anyone.

The rest of the half flies by without either team creating anything of note, until straight from kick off in the second half when Magina releases Hurley with another good ball through the defence. Hurley tries to double his tally but his shot goes wide of the near post.

I did ponder at half time whether I was comfortable with having 2 defensive midfielders on the pitch, both of whom were on yellow cards. I decided that…yes. Yes I was comfortable with it. Needless to say with almost an hour played Jaime Seidi sees his 2nd yellow for a silly trip and earns himself an early bath. I won’t be too harsh on him, that’s the first black mark on his record for me. I decide to drop Hurley back slightly and play a 4-1-1-2-1 formation.

And to be fair, it works. The game dies down once more and again, nothing happens until the 83rd minute, when a good Moura passing move ends with N’Goy releasing Lopes, whose shot flies just wide of the near post.

In an attempt to freshen up our attack I bring on a couple of youngsters. Batista replaces Amonike and Silva replaces Magina to make his debut.

With 92 minutes and 30 seconds played I’m perched right on the edge of my seat, glaring at the referee. Blow your bloody whistle, I silently urge him. This match has not been comfortable.

Just as I think that, Kevin lays the ball back for Mauro Aires, who’s on the left hand side about 15 yards into our half. He looks up, and in a moment of brilliance, smacks the ball into the left channel, over Moura’s defensive line. As he does, Renato Silva makes a diagonal run from the left wing, losing his marker. The ball falls perfectly into his path and he only needs 1 touch of the ball to stroke it into the far bottom corner on the half volley.

I fall backwards into my seat and breathe a massive sigh of relief. The broad grin returns to my face. There’s something about this boy. His intelligence, his movement, his finishing, his composure. The sheer arrogance to effortlessly score such a goal on his debut at 16 years old. He’s got it all. I know time will tell whether this is just a good pre-season and a good debut or genuine quality, but… I don’t know where I’ll be in 10 years. The optimist in me says Barcelona, Manchester United or Bayern. Somewhere like that. And call me crazy but I reckon I could take this lad with me.

After another week or wearily declining daily offers for Antunes, Batista and Silva, it’s time to welcome Aljustrelense to Estádio Municipal de Angra do Heroismo. Our first home game of the season and a chance to put down a proper marker. I’ll let us off for not exactly making this place the isolated island fortress I wanted it to be last season. We were adjusting. If we lose here in any of our first phase matches now though, I’ll be furious.

Aljustrelense lost their first match of the season and if someone else in this league can beat them, then so can we. That’s a philosophy I feel like I’ll be adopting for all of our league matches.

We are at home, we are the favourites, and we are the better side, so here comes my feline formation, Project: Meatloaf. Seidi is suspended after his red card so Hurley drops back into midfield. Antunes takes his place behind Magina. In all fairness that change would’ve probably happened even if Seidi had been available. Aires will be encouraged to attack down the left and overlap Kevin or Amonike. Serginho starts.

It takes nearly 10 minutes for us to carve out our first chance. The ball is cleared following our corner and Lassina Touré finds himself on the ball with his back to goal on the edge of their area. He lays it back for Antunes, who curls it first time in front of Amonike on the left. Amonike’s first touch takes him down the line past a defender and he drills in a low cross that finds Magina 8 yards out, but Runa manages to get a foot in and scramble the ball away to the edge of the area. Our new left full back Mauro Aires controls the ball before smashing it against the left post. The ball bounces away and is cleared.

Less than a minute later Benjamim cuts out a Dias cross and clears the ball to Magina on the left wing, just inside the Aljustrelense half. He makes one of his patented powerful runs with the ball diagonally towards the edge of the penalty area but is thwarted once again by Runa, who clears the ball. Touré picks it up on the half way line though and plays it onto the right for Amonike, who whips a cross into the 6 yard box and Magina’s volley somehow crashes off the bar. Runa clears and we’ve struck the woodwork twice in the first 10 minutes. This had better not be an omen. I bloody hate omens.

The rest of the half is quiet. It feels like we’ve become nervous after wasting those 2 chances. I tell the lads that they’ve been unlucky at half time. We’ve made 2 good chances but we’ve just not had the rub of the green. I send them back out, hopefully with a bit more self-belief and confidence.

Just over 5 minutes after the restart, Miranda throws the ball to Amonike, who’s level with the Aljustrelense penalty area on the right hand side. He passes well to Magina just inside the box, who turns and lays it off to Hurley. Hurley takes a touch, looks up, and fizzes a shot into the far bottom corner.

The relief in the team is clear, for a while it felt like one of those matches where it just doesn’t happen. At least we’ve got the breakthrough, now we just need to protect it.

With an hour gone I replace Aires, who has been booked and is looking nervous, with debutant Luciano Serpa. Serpa will play on the right and Miranda will come over onto the left. Nerves cost you in situations like this, and they also make people do silly things, like send your team down to 10 men for the second match in a row.

With just over 10 minutes to go, we revert back to Heróis Original and Miguel Oliveira comes on in place of the goalscorer Hurley as he’s apparently an adept holding man. It does the trick and we completely kill the match. We come away with a not-so-convincing 1-0 win, but I’ll take 3 points and a clean sheet any day.

Only at this stage of the season can you have a 100% record, 0 goals conceded and still drop down the league. The table is pretty meaningless this early on but you can already see a 3-horse race starting to emerge. Pinhalnovense have come out for the new season looking extremely dangerous. They’re the only other team that are yet to concede but they’ve already racked up a +9 goal difference. We’ll have to keep an eye on them.

Episode 28 >

Find me on:

Franjo’s Youtube Channel (For General Gaming Videos)

PT Championship – First Phase Group G (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Mini-sode 26.5)

I don’t want to pile more pressure onto myself, nor do I want to play down any future achievements, nor do I want to tempt fate. But I’m going to do all 3.

< Episode 26

I know what you’re thinking.

“I can’t wait for you to box Vilafranquense’s ears again Franjo!”

“I can’t wait for the Caldas matches, you’ll really show them this time!”

“I have a tattoo of your half-robot face on my thigh!”

But no! You’re mistaken and confused. That’s just not how the Portuguese Championship, or my readers, roll. Our opponents for this first phase will be drawn randomly out of the pool of 80 clubs. We’ve been dropped into Group G. Here are our new friends:

Aljustrelense

From: Aljustrel

Ground: Estádio Municipal de Aljustrel

First Phase Position (Out of 10): 6th in group H

Relegation Stage Position (Out of 8): 3rd in group H

Predicted: 6th

Rivals in Group G: N/A

Amora

From: Amora

Ground: Estádio da Medideira

Last Season: Promoted from 4th tier

Predicted: 9th

Rivals in Group G: Barreirense (Competitive)

Barreirense

From: Barreiro

Ground: Campo da Verderena

First Phase Position (Out of 10): 3rd in Group G

Relegation Stage Position (Out of 8): 3rd in Group G

Predicted: 3rd

Rivals in Group G: Amora (Competitive), Fabril do Barreiro (Historic, Fierce), Pinhalnovense (Local)

Despertar

From: Beja

Ground: Complexo Desportivo Fernando Mamede

Last Season: Promoted from 4th tier

Predicted: 8th

Rivals in Group G: N/A

Fabril do Barreiro

From: Barreiro

Ground: Estádio Alfredo da Silva

First Phase Position (Out of 10): 7th in group H

Relegation Stage Position (Out of 8): 5th in Group G

Predicted: 7th

Rivals in Group G: Barreirense (Local, Fierce), Amora (Local)

Juventude Évora

From: Évora

Ground: Estádio Sanches de Miranda

Last Season: Promoted from 4th tier

Predicted: 10th

Rivals in Group G: N/A

Moura

From: Moura

Ground: Estádio do Moura Atlético Clube

First Phase Position (Out of 10): 8th in group H

Relegation Stage Position (Out of 8): 2nd in Group G

Predicted: 4th

Rivals in Group G: N/A

Pinhalnovense

From: Pinhal Novo

Ground: Campo de Jogos Santos Jorge

First Phase Position (Out of 10): 3rd in group H

Relegation Stage Position (Out of 8): 1st in Group H

Predicted: 2nd

Rivals in Group G: Barreirense (Local)

Sp Viana Alentejo

From: Viana do Alentejo

Ground: Campo João Branco Núncio

First Phase Position (Out of 10): 10th in group H

Relegation Stage Position (Out of 8): 6th in Group G, Beat Malveira 5-2 in Play-off 1st Round and Sernache 2-1 in 2nd Round

Predicted: 5th

Rivals in Group G: N/A

You’ll notice that I’ve included these clubs’ predicted positions for the phase ahead. You’ll also notice that one position has been omitted. That’s because it’s our position. It’s because I, Franjo, am widely expected to lead our Heróis to a 1st place position in the first phase.

Am I apprehensive? Yes.

Will I relish the challenge? Yes.

Do I back us to pull it off? Fucking right I do.

It’s an interesting position to be in because I’ve so far been in charge of the massive underdogs and relegation favourites in Vellinge, and then a bit of a big fish in a small pond, dropped into the relegation stage by no fault of my own in my first half season here. Now a brand new season is dawning, and we’ll achieve anything we achieve off our own backs. And if we fail there will be absolutely nowhere to hide.

And I don’t want to pile more pressure onto myself, nor do I want to play down any future achievements, nor do I want to tempt fate. But I’m going to do all 3.

This is a weak group. 3 of the teams have just been promoted from the 4th tier and you’d expect them to be cannon fodder. Sp Viana Alentejo only survived relegation after dragging themselves through the play-offs. Barreirense and Pinhalnovense are the teams to beat as they narrowly missed out on going to last season’s promotion stage, but apart from them, our opponents all had pretty poor seasons. I will expect a series of very, very good performances from our team this year.

Episode 27 >
Find me on:

Franjo’s Youtube Channel (For General Gaming Videos)

Pre Season 2017/18 (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep26)

Who stays? Who goes? Who’s been on fire? Whose days are numbered?
Welcome to Angrense: 2017/18

< Mini-sode 25.5.5.5

What a Summer. Aside from destroying the confidence of an imaginary ex-Everton flop I have actually also been swamped with real footballing matters.

I’ll start by telling you that one of the first things I did when I was appointed Angrense Manager was put out an advert for a Manager for our under 19’s side, as we didn’t have one. And do you know how many applications have been sent to me in the last 6ish months? Zero. Goose egg. Nenhum. So this Summer, after reaching the sad conclusion that our 36 year old captain Gonçalo Valadão’s playing days are coming to an end, I offered him the job. He accepted happily and is now Player/Under 19’s Manager. His attributes are… not good, but I’m hoping that he’ll increase in competence as we go.

At the end of June, Miguel Borba sprung quite a pleasant surprise on me: A new affiliation with Italian Serie B side Vicenza. In the future we may have the opportunity to sign a couple of young Italian stars on loan, which is obviously an exciting prospect.

Experienced goalkeeper David Dinis retired, and left the club along with some other players who had no place in my squad for the new season. Marco Aurélio, João Borges and Ivanildo Reis were the only ones who played any part in the first team for me, apart from Jordanes Medeiros, who completed his free transfer to Waasland-Beveren.

We’ve had our fair share of transfer sagas this Summer too. Cristiano Magina, for example, asked me to sell him for £18,000 in June after an insulting £12k bid from Romanian Top Tier side FC Vitorul. I refused and slapped a £100k price tag on his head. Admittedly this would be a ridiculous fee for a club of our stature to receive, but I have no intention of selling such a fantastic goalscorer. When they heard the news, the Angrense players grabbed their pitchforks and marched to my office to demand that I release him. Confused and annoyed, I simply said to them: “But he was the division’s 2nd top scorer last season. Do you not think we’d be weaker without him?” To which they all just sort of nodded and shuffled back out of the room. Magina was also subject to bids from the Portuguese Premier League, the Cypriot top tier and the Eredivisie, but eventually, and much to my relief, he decided to stay.

Another player to throw a tantrum was 19 year old forward Silveira, who I had been looking forward to working with after he spent last season out on loan. He was upset that I rejected a… and I’m not exaggerating… £0 bid from CS U Craiova, also in the Romanian top tier. He spat his dummy out and I sent him to train with the kids and trialists (of which there have been around 100 over the course of the break). Craiova eventually came in with a £5k bid, rising to £10k with add ons, plus a friendly match. I negotiated them up a further £5k and got rid for a club record fee. They instantly cancelled the friendly. Twats.

I’ve laughed off a plethora of bids for our players. A few thousand for Seidi, Benjamim, Kevin, Oliveira, Miranda and Santos isn’t really worth my time. I’ve been bombarded all Summer with insultingly low-ball bids for top prospects Batista, Antunes and Silva. None of these bids topped £1k until August when comparatively massive money started to be put on the table. I was never going to consider £10k, which was the most we were offered for Renato Silva, for reasons that I’ll explain in a moment, but I really had to to think about Dinamo Bucharesti’s Batista bid. It could have reached upwards of £35k, plus 50% of the next sale. I rejected it though as we don’t particularly need to sell and I’d like to give him more football this year. Greek Super League side PAOK and Ligue 1 outfit FC Nantes spent all Summer bidding for Antunes but never strayed North of £2k.

But enough about that, I’ve got 6 new players to show you. Last season I was impressed with our attacking play but I wasn’t always so convinced about the defensive side of our game, so that’s where the reinforcements have come in so far.

Last season we had 4 Goalkeepers. 3 of them were pretty awful so I let their contracts expire and that left us requiring backup. 34 year old Serginho will not only provide able backup but he may even have the ability and experience to push Azevedo out of the side.

He was released by Santa Clara in the Summer after having a decent season for them, conceding 26 goals in 19 games in the LigaPro, which is the Portuguese 2nd tier and the division above us.

Ivan Santos was only OK last year and I winced every time the ball went anywhere near Oliveira, so I’ve brought in 2 new centre backs. The first of these is Olivier Kingue. He likes to just have “Olivier” on the back of his shirt, so that’s what I’ll call him.

He’s a big, tough and fairly quick Cameroonian. His intelligence could do with development but he’s 21 years old and so has plenty of time to learn. His contract had expired with Cameroonian side Nkufo Academy so we picked him up for free. If you’re wondering how we spotted a player in such an obscure league, he gave a good account of himself on loan last season at SC Olhanense in the LigaPro, so I think we’ve grabbed ourselves a bargain.

The 2nd centre back we signed was Lassina Touré from Burkina Faso:

His reach isn’t as high as Kingue’s but he’s better developed both technically and mentally. We signed him on a free as well, as his contract with our rivals from last season Sporting Ideal expired at the end of the season.

I said last year that this team needs more dynamic wing backs, especially on the left hand side. As we released Reis on a free and I don’t think Valadão has much left in the tank, I’ve signed us 2 new left backs. The first is Mauro Aires:

Another young player at 21 years old, I paid £240 to prise him away from our fierce rivals (Who we’ve sadly not actually played yet under my regime) Praiense. He’s ok defensively and not awful going forward, but his real strength is his pace. He is very very quick and may be able to add width with forward runs down the left.

The 2nd left back I brought in is Xéxé:

You might remember that I mentioned my interest in him when we played Sporting Ideal last season. My January target Chileno wasn’t available this Summer so I brought Xéxé in for £240 to rival but probably understudy Aires. He’s also 21 and he’s fairly quick so he’ll be a decent option.

And finally I picked up a backup right back, Luciano Serpa:

He’s another player we picked up on a free and just like Aires we’ve picked him up from rivals Praiense. He’s very well rounded: he can defend, attack, he’s quick enough and he’s got a good head on his shoulders. I’ll have no problem giving him a chance in the side and he may even rival Miranda for a place, but he’s missed most of pre-season through injury and won’t be ready for our first match.

In terms of our pre-season, things have gone very very well. The highlight of our friendly matches was undoubtably our 2-0 win against Sporting Lisbon, the lowlight was our only loss, which came against lower league side Prainha. It was our 2nd string that played that match in fairness but we still should’ve won comfortably. Our last friendly was a ridiculous but entertaining 6-5 win over Tenerife.

The player that’s impressed me most through pre-season might surprise you: 16 year old striker Renato Silva has been on fire. He started pre-season playing for the under 19’s but after a couple of matches in which he decimated the opposition defence I promoted him to play with the first team. He’s scored 7 in 7 games, including 3 as a sub, and at one point he even made me give serious consideration to the possibility of giving in and letting Magina go. But young players often lack consistency, so he will most likely make his appearances from the bench this year. Nevertheless his form is certainly encouraging and I’m sure that he’ll make his first team bow sooner rather than later.

Who’s impressed me the least? Gonçalo Valadão, I’m afraid to say. I’ve said before that I wish he had 10 years left in him but he just doesn’t. I don’t even think he’s got 1. When he’s appeared in these friendlies he’s often been the worst player on our side and I just can’t see him getting a game this year, especially as I’ve heavily bolstered the full back positions.

I will just give a couple of mentions as well to players that have impressed me: New signings Touré and Olivier have looked solid in defence, Antunes has looked so skilful and composed that I think he’ll begin the season as our starting number 10 despite his tender years (Although he will miss the first game through injury), and Hélder Arruda has taken to his new role of backup attacking midfielder very well. He’s been arriving into the opposition area late and bagging a fair amount of goals despite not being fully competent in the position.

And one more player that you should be aware of is Bruce Ávila. Like Silveira, he spent last season on loan at a lower league club, but unlike Silveira, he’s come back for pre-season, kept his head down, worked hard and impressed me. He’s an out and out left winger which is a good option to have. Last season we only played Kevin, Amonike and Aurélio on the left and they all liked to cut in on their right foot. He’s also 20 years old and a very rounded young footballer.

I should probably mention that I did consider my future this Summer. I did consider looking for pastures new, a new club in some wacky new league, but I want to see what I can do with this Angrense side. There’s potential here. I want to see if I can finally do what Eduardo couldn’t, and take Os Heróis up.

I think partially I want my next club to come to me. I want to have impressed enough to be headhunted. Plus, I’d rather not send out 15 copies of my CV and annoy Miguel Borba, because frankly I don’t want to end up back in the job centre.

Mini-sode 26.5 >

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Year 1 World Roundup (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Mini-sode 25.5.5.5)

I’ve been so preoccupied with my managerial duties that I forgot that football is happening everywhere.

< Mini-sode 25.5.5

I awake extremely early the next morning. Pushing myself to a sitting position, I can feel the numbness on my cheek where the pattern of the grass has been impressed after several hours of contact. My phone has run out of power and I’ve got a banging headache in the aftermath of my dehydration yesterday. This is not how good days start. I get to my feet and start to make my way back down the hill on which I accidentally stayed the night. Back down the gravel paths I walk as the sun starts to rise in front of me, painting the now fairly cloudy sky red and orange.

It’s late morning by the time I make it back to my flat. I fall through the door and throw myself onto my bed face down, as Meatloaf and Burnie watch on in vague interest.

I decide to take a look at what’s been happening throughout the world of football. I’ve existed in a bubble for the last year. I’ve been so preoccupied with my managerial duties that I forgot that football is happening everywhere.

I pour myself a glass of water and sit down with the laptop to see how the season’s gone elsewhere in the world.

I start off by looking locally at the Liga Nos. Our one time Parent Club Benfica took the title, 6 points clear of Sporting and a staggering 17 points clear of a disappointing Porto side. Manager of the Year was FC Paços de Ferreira’s Vasco Seabra, who guided his side to 4th and a Europa League spot, 8 places above their predicted finish.

Sporting’s Bas Dost scored the most goals with 19, just ahead of Porto’s André Silva. Benfica’s defence drew a massive amount of admiration, as Álex Grimaldo and Lisandro López were rated the top 2 players in the league, while Ederson won the golden glove. Pizzi was also instrumental for them, racking up the most assists in the division. Arouca’s Nuno Valente got the 2nd most. Now there’s a name that sends a shiver down my spine.

Back home in Blighty, obviously no eyebrows were raised whatsoever as Arsene Wenger’s side smashed their way to the title for the first time since their invincible 2003/2004 season. Arsenal finished on 91 points, 9 above José Mourinho’s Manchester United, winning Wenger the Manager of the Year award in the process. The big under performers had to be Michael Laudrup’s Southampton, who finished 18th on just 35 points.

They’ll be playing Championship football next season, unlike Rafa Benitez’s Newcastle, Mick McCarthy’s Ipswich Town and Steve Clarke’s Nottingham Forest, who are all promoted to the Premier League.

In the Premier League, United’s Zlatan Ibrahimovic was the highest scorer, closely followed of course by West Ham’s Jonathan Calleri. Arsenal’s Mesut Özil and United’s Juan Mata both had very good seasons, with plenty of assists and player of the match awards between them. David de Gea won the Golden Glove.

Again, nothing to see here: La Liga was won fairly comfortably by who else but Diego Simeone’s Athletico Madrid! 6 points ahead of Zinedine Zidane’s Real Madrid and a further 5 points ahead of Luis Enrique’s Barcelona side. Simeone deservedly won the Manager of the Year award for his efforts.

Antoine Griezmann was the top scorer this year, just ahead of Cristiano Ronaldo, and Lionel Messi and Neymar both had excellent seasons for Barca. Real’s Keylor Navas won the Golden Glove.

There really were no surprises in the Bundesliga as Carlo Ancelotti’s Bayern Munich obliterated the rest of the division. They finished 16 points clear of Roger Schmidt’s Bayer Leverkusen, who were themselves more than comfortable: 11 points clear of Ralph Hasenhüttl’s Red Bull Leipzig in 3rd. Hasenhüttl still picked up the Manager of the Year award for reaching the Champions League.

The season was a disaster for Dieter Eilts’ Werder Bremen team but even more so for Bruno Labbadia’s Wolfsburg. Both sides fell well below expectations and will be playing Bundesliga 2 football next season.

Mats Hummels, Jerome Boateng and Manuel Neuer took the plaudits for their efforts in Bayern’s defence, but it was Bayer’s Kevin Volland and Leipzig’s Yussuf Poulsen who impressed at the other end of the pitch, scoring 24 and 20 goals respectively. Hamburg’s Lewis Holtby and Freiburg’s Vincenzo Grifo racked up the most assists.

The title race was surprisingly close in Italy, but Massimilliano Allegri and his Juventus side eventually took the title on 81 points, breaking Inter hearts as they were only 3 points behind. Their striker, Mauro Icardi, was the league’s top scorer, with his Milan rival Carlos Bacca coming in 2nd. The golden glove went to Gianluigi Buffon but just like in the league, Inter’s Handanovic made it a close race. Leonardo Bonucci and Paulo Dybala also had excellent seasons for Juve, while Dries Mertens and surprisingly Ledian Memushaj of relegated Pescara were the top assisters. Sampdoria’s Marco Giampaolo won the Manager of the Year award for performing above expectations, although they narrowly missed out on a European spot.

Monaco managed to overthrow Paris Saint-Germain, who are known globally as “The Celtic of Ligue 1” to top the charts in France. Radamel Falcao’s return to the club played a huge part in Monaco’s league triumph, as he racked up 22 goals, 2 more than his rival Edinson Cavani. Thiago Silva and Bernardo Silva were the standout players this year, while Bernardo was also by far the top assister ahead of William Vainqueur of Marseille. Benoît Costil had a magnificent season for Stade Rennais and kept the most clean sheets in the league, but he lost the golden glove award to Danijel Subasic. Leonardo Jardim of Monaco won the Manager of the Year award for ending PSG’s stranglehold on the division.

What a strange year. All of that just goes to show it doesn’t really matter who the team is, anything can happen. With the right or wrong Manager, Players and System, Arsenal can win matches after February, Forest can win promotion, Southampton and Wolfsburg can go down, Atleti and Monaco can win titles that usually have “Reserved” labels on them…

I hope that at some point I can achieve that level of unexpected success with an underdog. But there’s also a pretty good chance that I’ll relegate a good team. What an exciting and terrifying thought.

Episode 26 >
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Monte Brasil (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Mini-sode 25.5.5)

I’ve not been able to appreciate this place since I got here and I think that it’s about time I start.

< Meta-sode 25.5

Do you know what I realised after our match against Caldas?

Here I am in the picturesque City of Hero Creek on beautiful Volcano Island and I’ve done nothing but scheme and worry and stress and glare at Roger for the last 4 months. And before that? Before that I was freezing to death, watching my dreams shatter before my very eyes in Southern Sweden.

I deserve a rest.

There is no training now. There are no matches in the foreseeable future. I have some players in mind that I’d quite like to add to the squad but I’ve got time to relax for a bit before I dive into all that.

The good thing about living in Hero Creek is that I’ve already essentially arrived at my holiday destination. I’ve not been able to appreciate this place since I got here and I think that it’s about time I start.

I take a look online at potentially interesting things to do around the city. The Festas Sanjoaninas look interesting and they’re happening on my doorstep: Parades, eating, drinking, bull fighting… I’m not a big fan of bull fighting… They don’t start until the end of June anyway and I’ll be busy by then.

In the end I decide to visit Monte Brasil, a peninsula just south of Hero Creek formed by several eruptions worth of dried lava from THE Volcano Island volcano, The Guilherme Moniz Volcano. You’re supposed to be able to get a great view of Angra do Heroismo from on top of a hill called Pico das Cruzinhas.

I don’t don my trusty grey coat, because if I truly wanted to roast I’d wrap myself in tin foil, and that comes with several negative connotations. Instead I opt for a full SC Angrense home kit that I received free of charge from Miguel Borba when I arrived at the club, I put on my sun cream and sunglasses, and complete the look with a pair of red and white sandals, because I’m an Englishman.

Meatloaf and Burnie both look curiously up at me as I pack my rucksack full of refrigerated bottles of tap water. I reach down and give them each a scratch behind the ear. I consider for a moment bringing them with me, but I think they’re all set. They’ve got everything they need right here for their endless schedule of eating and sleeping and nothing else.

I set off walking down an Asphalt path towards Fortaleza de São João Batista (St. John the Baptist’s Fortress). The sun is especially intense today and I’d broken a sweat by the time I’d walked to the end of my street, but I press on.

After an hour the dehydration is setting in. I thought I had come prepared, bringing all those bottles of tap water with me, but after an hour in my rucksack they’re all warm and unsatisfying. I’ve drunk one of the bottles already. I hope theres a corner shop on top of this pile of dried lava.

After 2 hours I’m staggering. I’ve only got half a bottle of water left. I’ve kept plodding on down asphalt and dirt paths but the sun, although it’s beginning to sink down behind the horizon, is still draining. I meet a large dog, a golden retriever, and for a couple of minutes I forget the heat and smile as he trots happily alongside me, spurring me on, before he barks and runs back the way we came, out of view. My smile fades. I’m alone again.

And then, not half an hour later, I arrive on top of Pico das Cruzinhas. It’s considerably less light than it was when I set off but it’s still incredibly hot and humid. I feel dizzy. Sweat is pouring down my face. But I’ve arrived at the viewpoint.

I set down my rucksack, full of empty water bottles, sit down on the patchy grass and look out over the city. Over my city. The view really is stunning. I can see the docks, the rows of little white stone buildings, Estádio Municipal de Angra do Heroismo… I can see everything. I can see the entire city bathed in the red and orange glow of the setting sun. And it’s all spinning. I feel sick.

“You look a little burnt there” says a loud, booming voice from somewhere above me. I almost jump out of my skin. I look upwards and the light seems to seep away all at once. The only things I see are clouds.

I look down again, wiping the sweat from my brow. I must have imagined the voice. It must be the heat. “Must it?” Booms the voice again. This time my eyes dart straight upwards, looking for the source of the voice. Again, all I see is clouds… but they look different to before… different shapes, different colours… and then the clouds start to shift. They start to move and interlock, break apart and come together again, before at last they take human form.

“Recognise me?” Rumbles the voice. The outline in the clouds is blurry, but definitely human. And then slowly, very very slowly, detailed features start to draw themselves across the figure’s face. I squint a little to make them out… Eyes, nose, mouth, and then a bleached blond goatee.

“Abel Xavier?” I ask, hearing the disappointment in my own voice. Xavier laughs a deep, thunderous laugh.

“It is I, Abel Xavier. I have come to guide you, Franjo.” He says theatrically. “I…” he pauses for dramatic effect, “…Am your spirit guide.”

“Oh.” I reply, making no attempt to hide my disappointment now.

“But what is wrong?” He asks, seeming slightly hurt.

“I don’t know. I get that if I’m going to have a hallucinatory Spirit Guide he may as well be Portuguese, but wasn’t Cristiano Ronaldo available?”

“No.” He snaps.

“Deco?”

“No!”

“Even Nani would do…”

“NO” He booms, quite frighteningly. Then he lowers his voice again to an overly-theatrical whisper. “I, Abel Xavier, am your spirit guide, and I have appeared because I need to tell…”

“But I don’t even like or respect you” I interject, in quite a whiny way. “You were shit at Everton and then you moved straight to Liverpool… And then you were shit for them, you’re the worst.”

“SILENCE!” He shouts. ” I NEED TO…”

“Sorry”, I interrupt again, very purposefully, “But I’ve wanted to get this out for 15 years and this is the first chance I’ve had.”

After a fairly long and uncomfortable silence Xavier composes himself and takes a deep breath. When he speaks, he’s whispering again. But his voice is shaking.

“Franjo, you must listen. I…”

“Are you related to Rikishi?” I ask loudly. Xavier sighs. “You’ve just always reminded me of the wrestler Rikishi, and vice versa. I think it’s your hair. Your dumb hair.”

“I don’t have to take this”, Mumbles the formation of clouds resembling Rikishi’s probable relative Abel Xavier, “I’m the Mozambique head coach now, you know. I’m only appearing to help you.”

“I think I’m probably further up the Managerial pecking order than you already then.” I say coolly.

The form of Abel Xavier swirls and breaks apart and after a second or so I’m just looking up at the clouds once more. I wonder what he needed to tell me. It can’t have been that important, he was only a figment of my imagination. And I’m pretty sure if it was an important message I would’ve imagined someone more impressive.

I sit there for a while, watching the street lights flicker into life around Hero Creek. It’s an impressive place, you know. A brilliant place. I lie back on the soft tufts of grass and close my eyes.

Mini-sode 25.5.5.5 >

Find me on:

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About Next Week (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Meta-sode 25.5)

I apologise but next week I will not be releasing daily episodes. Let me explain why…

< Episode 25

Olá meus Amigos,

I apologise but next week (29/05/2017 – 02/06/2017) I will not be releasing daily episodes. Let me explain why…

5 weeks ago when I started to write about managing FC Höllviken, I had episodes ready about a week or more in advance. This meant that being the crazed perfectionist that I am, I had plenty of time to tweak and change episodes before I released them. For example, Mini-sode 10.5 was very nearly an incredibly shit mini-sode in which Alexander offered me a new contract and I refused… Roll credits. Luckily I had time to realise how awful it was and change it into something more fleshed out and satisfying.

In retrospect I should have taken a break after I left Höllviken, as the unemployment break, combined with learning about Os Heróis and choosing tactics, making transfers, picking a squad etc ended up taking a long, long time. Because of that I’m now writing most episodes about 1 or 2 days before I release them.

I want to get back out in front of the story like I was at Höllviken. I want to be able to tweak and change again to make this story the best it can be. We’ve now got a summer break, which is going to take a while, and I’d rather take a week off and come back with some bloody good episodes than keep up the routine and half-arse the start of next season.

Daily episodes will start again on the 5th of June, although I’ve already written a couple of mini-sodes that I’ll release on Tuesday and Thursday.

I’ve also been messing around a lot with the formula for these episodes lately, like having a couple of matches per episode, varying the amount of actual story that I write into episodes and things like that. If you have any sort of feedback about what you like, what you don’t, what your favorite episode has been, or anything, then let me know by email at franjofm23@gmail.com

By the way I’m still enjoying the hell out of writing this and I’d like to take this opportunity to say a massive and genuine thank you to everyone that’s been following the story so far.

Cheers, and have a bloody great week.

Franjo

Ps. VAMOS HERÓIS!

Mini-sode 25.5.5 >

Find me on:

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Year 1 Review (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep25)

Let’s just catch our breath and take a look back on how this year has gone.

I’d advise any new readers NOT to read this episode as it contains major plot spoilers!

< Episode 24

What a year. That’s right, it’s only been a year. Well, less than a year, I started my journey at the end of July and it’s only May. It feels like it’s been a lot longer.

Let’s just catch our breath and take a look back on how this year has gone.

11/08/2016 – 22/10/2016

Club: FC Höllviken

Final Position: 13th

Record: W3 D0 L5

Key Player(s): Niklas “The” Hammer, “Big” Simon Henningsson, Joakim “Joakim” Nilsson Ingves

Highlight: Our Penalty Shootout cup win over Hammarby IF

Lowlight: Losing our crucial last match against Husqvarna FF, which lead to relegation and the termination of my contract

I was hired by Alexander Lundgren of FC Höllviken with the brief “Save us, Franjo”, and I failed. I had 8 matches to save a club that seemed doomed and I genuinely fancied my chances. We put together a squad that should have been good enough and I still believe that with that squad and a full season I would have laughed at the thought of relegation, but in our situation it just wasn’t enough.

Incidentally, Höllviken’s choice of Manager to replace me was Stefan Lundqvist, who somehow lead the club to prop up the 4th tier of Swedish Football by a distance. I was very sad to see that happen as I had hoped for more from the squad following our relegation. Höllviken duely sacked Lundqvist and are currently being lead by a caretaker manager: One Joakim Nilsson Ingves.

28/01/2017 – Present

Club: SC Angrense

Final Position: 2nd

Record: W8 D3 L3

Key Player(s): Gonçalo Valadão, Benjamim, Gonçalo “Hurley” Reyes, Jordanes Medeiros, Pedro “Kevin” Aguiar, Cristiano Magina

Highlight: Benjamim’s last second winner at Torreense in our 2nd match

Lowlight: The 0-0 draw against Vit Sernache

Following my Höllviken dismissal I was employed to steady the ship at SC Angrense, who had dismissed my predecessor for failing to guide the club into the Promotion Stage of the Portuguese Championship. We had a rocky first half of our relegation stage campaign as I found my feet but we’ve finished the season strongly, winning 5 times in the second half of the stage.

Angrense have actually been named as the biggest overachievers in the Taça de Portugal, with our win over FC Porto named as the Best Match, but I can’t really take any pride in that because it wasn’t my Angrense.

Team of the Season is pretty much as you’d expect: Jaime Seidi makes it into central midfield at the cost of Hurley, but to be fair he played a lot more for us over the season, especially under Eduardo. The departing Aurélio makes the cut, presumably by virtue of having played for the vast majority of the season. The rest I think speak for themselves.

Cristiano Magina has been voted player of the season by a comfortable margin by the Angrense fans. It’s unsurprising as he has been consistently good, and towards the end of the season he’s absolutely caught fire.

Speaking of Magina, obviously he is SC Angrense’s top scorer and he has accumulated the most player of the match awards for us this season. He’s finished as the 2nd top scorer in the Portuguese Championship, racking up 21 goals in 30 appearances: just shy of Sousense’s Nenê Apeú and his 23 goals in 32 appearances, although in terms of minutes per goal Magina is top of the league.

The goal of the season award goes to Gonçalo Valadão for his free kick against Torreense in April, and young player of the season is the lesser spotted but undoubtably promising Rúben “Rúby” Miranda.

The other Miranda, Vitor, was rated our best player for the season. Apart from the attempted murder of Sadio Samba towards the end of the season he has been exactly what I expected: A solid, no nonsense, no trouble full back. The kind of player that the media and I will rarely mention because there’s no need to. He does his job and that’s that.

Kevin racked up the most assists with, but in terms of overall contribution to the build up to our goals I’d say he’s been the most influential. As I’ve said before if we get a good chance in the area I’ll be shocked if he hasn’t played a part in creating it.

Rúby was our tidiest player, completing 83% of his passes and further reinforcing that he’s one to watch.

Jaime Seidi picked up 8 yellow cards, the most in the team, but in the role he plays I’m fine with that tally, and Vitor Miranda was the only player to pick up 2 red cards, the less said about that side of his game the better.

We’ve also had the highest percentage of headers won out of the 80 teams in the Division, which I am impressed by. One of the first things that I noticed upon arriving in Hero Creek was that the spine of our team is full of big, physically imposing players: the centre backs, Seidi in the holding role, Benjamim in the middle, Magina up front. So it makes sense, but I’m impressed nevertheless.

Overall I am very very pleased. About my time with Angrense, not Höllviken. I inherited a better group of players than I expected and on the whole they’ve been brilliant. Certain players that I consider deadwood will be leaving very soon, and certain players will come in to bolster the squad. That is if I stay. But barring a noticeably bigger club coming in for me I think I will stay for a bit. I’m happy here and I think we could have a fair crack at reaching the promotion stage next Season. I’ll see you then.

Meta-sode 25.5 >

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A Score to Settle (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep24)

The match I’ve been looking forward to most is our trip to Vit Sernache. Because how dare they.

< Mini-sode 23.5

If there’s 1 thing that I’ve been looking forward to since the first half of our relegation stage campaign, it wasn’t the chance to avenge our narrow loss against Vilafranquense, nor is it the opportunity to get back at Caldas for kicking the shit out of us. Well, that’s a lie, I loved beating Vilafranquense and I look forward to beating Caldas next week. But no, the match I’ve been looking forward to most is our trip to Vit Sernache. Because how dare they. How dare they drag my excellent Heróis into a piss poor scrap unworthy of a proper match report. How dare they make us look as average as they are. We’ve got a score to settle today.

I don’t want to labour the point too much but Sernache are exactly the kind of team that hates home games. Today they won’t have the luxury of being able to sit back as the scrappy underdog visitors and nullify us. Today they have to try to get a result. With that in mind, we’ll play Project: Meatloaf but we’ll express ourselves more, as is becoming the norm, and we’ll roam from our positions, creating and finding the space we need to make good chances and hurt Sernache.

Vitor Miranda, who seems to have learned his lesson, and Hurley both come back from suspension and will replace Seidi and Rúby, while Amonike and Antunes keep their places. Let’s blow these fools out of the water.

With just over 20 minutes gone we win a free kick in a promising position on the right. Valadão decides to mix it up by squaring the ball to Antunes, who is stood unmarked on the edge of the area. Antunes moves to his right and threads it trough for Amonike, but his near post shot is quite poor and the keeper parries it behind.

A few minutes later Miranda whips a cross in from the right wing. Razak is stood on the edge of the 6 yard box to head it away but it doesn’t go far. Hurley cushions the ball down with his head to Kevin, who plays a spectacular back heel ball through a crowd of defenders to Amonike, who has a bit of space on the right side of the area. He squares it for Magina, who easily knocks it in, continuing his remarkable goalscoring form.

10 minutes from half time Amonike is running inside from the left. He plays it in to Magina, who skips around a centre back’s challenge and smashes the ball against the bar from the edge of the area. Razak sensibly chests it down for his goalkeeper, Fernando. And then in a moment of chaos, of madness, and of hilarity, Fernando hoofs the ball forward – about 5 yards. It smacks Razak in the face and bounces into the net. It’s lucky they all count isn’t it?

What is annoying though is the increasing regularity with which we’re conceding straight after scoring. Straight from kick off, Feng Jiapeng finds himself with the ball on the right wing. He crosses it in but Oliveira heads away as far as Narciso just inside the area. Santos dives in with a perfect slide tackle to knock the ball away but it falls to Luís Carlos, who keeps his cool and tucks the ball below Azevedo into the bottom corner.

This needs to stop. It’ll cost us at some point. I tell the boys as much at half time, right after I beg them to keep their heads and not get complacent.

Almost 10 minutes after the restart, Valadão passes short to Antunes, who clips the ball round the corner for Kevin. Kevin looks up and plays a first time pass to Magina, who takes it past his marker with his first touch and then drills the ball into the bottom corner with his second.

Straight from the kick off… nothing happens. That’s more like it.

With 20 minutes to go I bring on Batista and Arruda for Kevin and Antunes and swap us to 4-4-2. To be honest there’s no tactical reason behind the decision, I just want to see what happens. At 3-1 and with not long to play I reckon we’ll take the 3 points and I’m curious how this squad reacts to this bread and butter formation. This formation that I’ve not used since I had a goalkeeper and a pub teamer up front.

Nothing much happens for the next 15 minutes or so, until Hurley plays a neat one-two with Arruda and smashes a shot against the post. Magina also has a shot parried behind in injury time but otherwise that’s the game. And in the end it’s comfortable. We can’t forget our weaknesses though: our concentration dropped after the second goal and we failed to clear the ball in the build up to theirs. They aren’t major problems in isolation, but they could become major problems if we let them keep happening.

A week down the line, and our last match of the season is upon us. One last chance to show these smug Caldas bastards what we can do. Admittedly, Caldas haven’t enjoyed the clean sweep that many would have predicted at the stage’s half way point: This side of the mid-stage break they’ve drawn 0-0 with Naval, 1-1 with Sernache, 1-1 with Vilafranquense, and they even lost 1-0 in their last match to Sporting Ideal.

But they’ve already wrapped up 1st and they’re still a force to be reckoned with, and we have ways of dealing with forces to be reckoned with around here. We retreat to our safer, more solid Heróis Original system in the hope that the better team will self destruct and allow us to nick a result. Seidi comes in for Hurley and Jordanes Medeiros comes back from injury and replaces Antunes, just in time to help us seal a farewell win over the top side in the league. Hopefully.

And indeed Medeiros starts the first chance of the match, picking up the loose ball after Miranda tackles Caldas’ winger. He plays a nice one-two with Magina before pinging the ball out to Kevin on the left. Kevin starts his run inside and then switches it to Magina, who rounds a defender on the right and drills the ball into the 6 yard box. Who else could possibly be there to tuck the ball home than Jordanes Medeiros. He gets the goal on his swansong appearance and we lead Caldas 1-0.

5 minutes later Caldas’ André Santos smashes a free kick against the bar and Seidi clears, but otherwise we get to half time unscathed and untested.

Our first test actually comes just 10 minutes after the 2nd half kicks off, when a good Caldas passing move ends with Cascão, just inside our box, squaring the ball for Sabino, who effortlessly places the ball into the bottom corner to equalise.

5 minutes after I bring on young Batista for Kevin, because doesn’t it just feel like the kind of “fine margins” match that should be settled by a moment of magic from a teenage substitute?

Alas no, the rest of the match is cagey and it ends 1-1. I will absolutely take a draw away at Caldas though, I would have bitten your hand off for that result before kick off.

And with that our season is over. I feel pretty good about it too. We finish in 2nd place behind our opponents Caldas, who were absolutely rampant in the first round of games, and to be honest we’ve done as well as I could have expected us to.

“You’ve done well for me”, I tell the players with a smile as I stand in the dressing room after the match. “Jordanes, we’ll be sad to see you go, but good luck in the Belgian Pro League. You’ve earned it.” Medeiros smiles and nods. “Cristiano, I didn’t expect to join a club with the 2nd top scorer in the divison.” Magina smiles and nods too. “The rest of you, we’ve got things we can work on, and we’ve got areas that we can improve, but on the whole you’ve all been excellent.” A round of applause echoes around the dressing room. “VAMOS HERÓIS!” I cry, to a chorus of cheers from my team.

I meant nearly every word I said to the team. I’m not sure if I’ll still be here at the start of next Season. I suppose it all depends who comes knocking during the Summer.

Episode 25 >

Find me on:

Franjo’s Youtube Channel (For General Gaming Videos)

Roger’s Story (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Mini-sode 23.5)

My name is Roger Mendes. And I will be a Football Manager.

< Episode 23

The final whistle goes, and pure elation washes over me. I can see it, hear it, and I can feel it. We’ve won. It’s all been leading to this. All of the late nights, the tears, the despair, all of the merda I’ve been through in my managerial career… It’s all been worth it. I lead the team up the steps towards the trophy. The path is barely visible through our adoring fans: leaning in, cheering, patting backs, ruffling hair, taking selfies. This is for them. All tens of thousands of them, and the millions watching at home. We’re moments away from lifting the Trophy. We have done it…And then I wake up. Bolas.

Becoming a Manager isn’t something that just happens. You can’t just wake up and walk into a Football Stadium asking if they have vacancies. Management is something that most in the profession have spent their lives learning. My name is Roger Mendes. And I will be a Football Manager.

14/1/17

Eduardo lost his job today. Senhor Borba expected us to reach the promotion stage of the PT Championship and instead we’ll be playing in the relegation stage. But I thought maybe this could be my first step. I saw my chance and I applied for the role of first team Manager.

21/1/2017

I interviewed for the Angrense job today! It went brilliantly, Senhor Borba was extremely supportive and listened keenly to my ideas for the squad. I believe the only other candidate for the position has half a robot face and he’s relegated the only other team he’s managed, so he shouldn’t be a problem.

28/1/2017

I didn’t get the job. Senhor Borba hired the English robot man who relegated his old team. I’m confused, maybe even saddened, but I’m a professional. I’ll try to learn from him and become a better manager, even though the first thing he said to me was “Let’s face it Roger, you’re no Joakim”. I don’t know what a Joakim is but I don’t think he was being friendly.

12/2/2017

I arrived at our ground early before Franjo’s first match in charge. I thought he might need some help. I saw him trying to befriend Nuno, which was difficult to watch. Nobody has successfully befriended Nuno that I know of. I berated Nuno afterwards because he walked away laughing. We need to get behind the Manager. For the good of Angrense.

15/2/2017

I’m impressed with Franjo. He won on Sunday against Carapinheirense, and again tonight against Torreense. Maybe there are a few tricks that I can pick up from him. Something odd happened though. After Hélder Arruda scored against Torreense the manager had this deranged smile on his face. I couldn’t understand what he was doing, and then he caught my eye and glared at me. I really don’t think he likes me.

19/2/2017

Nuno is still being incredibly rude to the new manager. I have told him to show respect, but he just ignores me.

26/2/2017

We tried the Manager’s new system today and it worked very well. I think he still has some sort of hostility towards me so I tried to break the tension by asking him whether it was true that he’d named the system after his cat, because I think that if that’s true, it’s brilliant. He either didn’t hear me or he deliberately ignored me.

5/3/2017

I haven’t been sleeping much this week. I worry that the Manager’s dislike for me is growing and it could cost me my job. I was so tired that I fell asleep during the 0-0 against Sernache. In my defence it was a very boring match. I have come up with a plan though. I’m going to invite Franjo to play some board games with me and let him get to know me. I’ll let him see that I just want what is best for the club.

13/3/2017

I think I messed up. I let Franjo win at connect 4 and he was being an incredibly sore winner. I got so annoyed that I told him about Eduardo’s win over Porto. He didn’t like it. He stormed off. I may have just made things worse.

15/3/2017

Everything is going wrong. Senhor Borba is not pleased with the new Manager, he heard that he’s planning not to renew Aurélio’s contract. Senhor Borba came and spoke to me when he found out. He wants Aurélio’s contract to be renewed as he sees him as indispensable. He even got me and some of the coaches to rank the squad out of 5 stars to try to convince the Manager how important he is to us.

19/3/2017

I came in early for the match again today. Senhor Borba was there too. He came and asked me if I had talked to the Manager about Aurélio. I told him that I hadn’t had the chance and he made me promise to talk to him in the next couple of days. I’m going to ask him to play connect 4 again. I’ll even let him win again. We caught Nuno eavesdropping on the conversation and Senhor Borba told him not to disclose to Franjo what he had heard. Franjo turned up soon after anyway and I know that he knew that we were talking about him. I just hope his Portuguese is still bad.

20/3/2017

Franjo agreed to play connect 4 again but he wasn’t interested in anything I had to say about Aurélio. I also think I was a little bit too obvious that I was letting him win. Senhor Borba won’t be pleased.

2/4/2017

A breakthrough! At last a breakthrough! An exhilarating win after the mid-stage break and I got a high five after each goal from the Manager! I think I might be safe after all. I’m so relieved. I love SC Angrense. I don’t want to leave.

13/4/2017

I was called into the Manager’s office today. Sat next to him at his desk was an unfamiliar man. My heart sank. I instantly knew who the man was. I was told that I was being replaced as I was Eduardo’s assistant, but I know the real reason. I’ve been forced out of the club I love because the Manager doesn’t like me. He never liked me. I thanked him, but I didn’t mean it. I am devastated, but I’m a professional. I bit my lip and walked out with my dignity in tact, and I will keep working to be a Football Manager. This robot man will not discourage me.

I’ll get you back for this, Franjo.

Episode 24 >

Find Franjo, not Roger on:

Franjo’s Youtube Channel (For General Gaming Videos)

Franjo Votes Pedro (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep23)

Without looking back, Roger closes the door behind him and is gone.

< Episode 22

“Look Roger,” I begin, my voice oozing with false sympathy, “I appreciate everything you’ve done since I arrived, I really do, but I’ve decided to replace you.” Roger stares back at me from the other side of my desk, seemingly unimpressed. “I know that we haven’t always seen eye to eye but I want to assure you that this isn’t personal” I lie, “The fact is that you’re Eduardo’s assistant and I want to bring in my own.” He still doesn’t look impressed. I don’t think he buys it, my reason for sacking him is awful. It’s literally unbelievable.

He gets to his feet, maintaining eye contact. “Obrigado” he says quietly. I look down at my hands. Oh shit, I think he’s lawyer-ing up. Does this count as unfair dismissal? Can you even get unfair dismissal in football? People get sacked in football all the time for a myriad of wacky reasons, most commonly for being shit like Roger. As I stand to reply, I look up at him and see a tear in his eye. His hand is outstretched waiting for me to shake it. I’m taken aback. Confused, I take his hand and shake it, before he turns on his heel and walks briskly to the doorway. Without looking back, Roger closes the door behind him and is gone.

I stand in silence for a moment. What just happened? I expected a chair to be thrown, or at least a dirty look and an eye roll. I suddenly feel incredibly guilty.

“I think that went well” says Pedro Botelho off-handedly.

Pedro is my new assistant. He’s certainly an upgrade on Roger, and probably even on Joakim. I plan to fully evaluate and shuffle my back room in the summer but for now a new assistant will do just fine. Still, I feel quite bad for Roger, which I never thought I’d say.

Anyway, let’s get to the matter at hand. Naval are coming to town today, and we thrashed them at their place when we debuted Project: Meatloaf so this should be a doddle. After ending the first half of the relegation stage in pretty poor form we’ve strung 3 wins together since the break and I’d certainly back us for a 4th.

Obviously we’ll start with Project: Meatloaf and I also tell the lads the express themselves a bit more, seeing as we’re in form and at home against a weaker side. Our football has been functional, but let’s make it easy on the eye too. I take my seat in the dugout and smile as I anticipate our new brand of beautiful football.

2 minutes and 1 second into the match, Vitor Miranda sprints towards Samba, who is on the ball and looking for a pass, and dives in at him with 2 feet. The referee walks straight over and shows him a well earned straight red. I don’t even look at Vitor as he trudges past me towards the tunnel. I bite my lip and stare angrily into the middle distance, wondering whether we’ve already lost all of the advantages that we started the match with. That wasn’t easy on the eye, that was a potential career ender and I am considering selling him in the summer through pure spite and rage.

I refuse to make a substitution after just 2 minutes. Just because Miranda fancied an early bath it doesn’t mean another starting player should get hauled off with him. I call Benjamim over and tell him to slot in at right back. “Nothing fancy”, I tell him as he nods nervously back at me, “Just stay in line with the rest, stay on your man and boot the ball away if you get it.” Hurley will drop back to a holding role and will be our defensive playmaker, spraying passes out to the front 4.

The next 25 minutes are uneventful, but then Léo receives the ball 30 yards out and dribble skilfully to the edge of the area, before shooting straight at Azevedo.

5 minutes later Naval go even closer when their centre back, Bernardo Oliveira, clears the ball high up towards our centre back, Miguel Oliveira, who misses his header. Léo nips in behind him and turns towards goal, but shoots directly at Azevedo again.

This can’t continue, we’re under the cosh. I stand, preparing to call Valadão over to tell him my tactical changes, but the sight of Hurley on the ball makes me pause. He plays it to Amonike on the left, who puts a magnificent pass over the Naval defence. Magina takes the ball down just inside the area and powers it past the keeper. The net ripples in that oh so satisfying way that it does. I sit back down, smiling again. We’re off.

Just before half time Amonike swings a free kick dangerously into the Naval box, Hurley’s there to nod it on and big Ivan Santos is there to head it home, only to turn and see the linesman’s flag raised. To be fair Santos was miles offside, I saw it from here.

At half time I’m fairly happy. Our necessitated 4-1-3-1 has worked well thanks to Hurley’s ability to distribute the ball. The only change I make is to drop Medeiros back to a central midfield position. He’ll still be an attacking playmaker but I want him to be a different sort of outlet. I want him to be able to pick the ball up deep and run it forwards so we aren’t relying too heavily on Hurley’s direct passing.

3 minutes after the restart it sort of pays off: Kevin plays the ball inside for Medeiros, who receives it just into the Naval half, skips past a rival midfielder as he moves forward and plays the ball to Magina’s feet. Magina has his back to goal and a marker behind him, but with a great touch and a burst of acceleration he spins past the defender and leathers it past the fingertips of the keeper’s outstretched left glove. The only reason that I don’t feel like giving myself a pat on the back is that Medeiros’ pass left Magina with a massive amount of work to do and I would have preferred it if he had gone for the through ball. Still, we’re 2-0 up with 10 men so we can afford to be pretty pleased.

With just under 20 minutes to go Magina goes close to completing his hat trick when a long Azevedo ball is nodded on by the double marked Kevin, and Magina takes it down and lashes it wide of the near post.

Just 2 minutes later though he gets his third. Amonike receives the ball after a Medeiros header and plays it to Magina, who’s about 30 yards out. He takes it round one defender, steps across another and smashes it home from the edge of the area. And just as I thought that I couldn’t get any more impressed he pulls out a cartwheel celebration. What a day for Cristiano Magina. With the game seemingly wrapped up I bring on 15 year old Fernando Batista in place of Kevin for his competitive debut.

Not long after, Jorge releases Samba, whose well timed run was lost by Benjamim, and he slots the ball past Azevedo. It does irk me slightly that we never tend to keep a clean sheet when thrashing a team, but to be fair that seems like a bit of a first world problem and things really could be a lot worse.

We barely let Naval celebrate their goal before a Medeiros free kick is swung into their area and Oliveira’s Di Canio-esque volley smashes into the back of the net. It comes as a shock but good on him, he needs to impress me.

For the last 10 minutes I bring the versatile João Borges and the fresh-faced Carlos Antunes on for Benjamim and Magina, who both get standing ovations. Magina will take the headlines in the local papers tomorrow because of his 2nd hat trick in 3 games, and rightfully so, but Benjamim has impressed the hell out of me today. Thrown in at right back, a position that he’s never played before, for almost 80 minutes and he was excellent. I won’t begrudge him the one lapse in concentration that lead to their goal. Antunes drops back into attacking midfield next to Medeiros and we will play a strange strikerless 4-1-4 formation.

Just a minute later, Antunes skilfully disguises a pass onto the right for Amonike, who squares the ball and Medeiros hits the post from just over 6 yards out.

Worryingly, 2 minutes before the full time whistle Medeiros has to come off through injury and we see the game out with 9 men in a 4-1-3 formation. Our head physio João Sousa later reveals that he’ll be out for 3-4 weeks with a strained calf and could therefore have played his last game for us.

And while we’re talking about which players are going to miss our next match, Miranda and Hurley are both banned. Miranda should thanks his lucky stars that he’s only facing a 1 match ban (Which I don’t appeal against) and a fine of 2 weeks wages, while Hurley has just picked up 5 yellows for the season.

Also, in an extraordinary turn of events, Cristiano Magina doesn’t make team of the week despite his hat trick heroics, but which Angrense player does? Miguel “Di Canio” Oliveira. Take a bow my son.

Next up to visit us here in Hero Creek are SC Ideal, our Azores “rivals”, who we earned a credible 1-1 draw against at their place. I would have liked a full strength lineup to be available to show them how good we’ve become since then, but SC Ideal will face a pretty patchwork Angrense side today.

O Capitão Valadão will start in his favoured right back position for the first time since I arrived, and after much deliberation I opt for Seidi at left back. He’s never played there before but the only other option is Reis, who I’m planning to let go in the summer and who I don’t really want to waste the game time on.

Rúby will play as a deep ball winner in our Project: Meatloaf system like he did against Carapinheirense, Benjamim will be the attacking central midfielder in Hurley’s absence, and Antunes gets another start in the number 10 role in place of the injured Medeiros. Again, I tell the lads to express themselves as it should work even better with 11 men on the pitch.

Have you ever seen the film Limitless? You know the one where Bradley Cooper takes that pill and it makes all his good bacteria go Super Saiyan? You know the bits where he loses time? Like one minute he’ll be at home preparing a quiche and the next minute he’s shot Mr Burns? It should be clear to you that I can’t remember exactly how Limitless plays out but I do know that he loses time, and that’s exactly what just happened to me. One minute I was waiting for the lads to kick off, and the next it was half time.

F-f-fuck all happened in that entire 45 minutes. I could’ve done so much with that 45 minutes. I could’ve probably done 3 levels on Duolingo. I could have finally found out how to say “thank you” in Portuguese. I halfheartedly express to the players that I’d like to see some football in the second half, then wander back to my seat in the dugout.

10 minutes later a good corner routine puts Ideal 1-0 up. Santos crosses, Amaral nods it on, César heads it in. This, in fact, is not Ideal, I think to myself. I congratulate myself on my fine wordplay.

With half an hour to go I tell us to go on the attack. With 2 minutes less than half an hour to go, a Grilo cross to the far post finds César, who loses his marker Valadão and heads home to double his tally. To be fair it’s an excellent header: back across goal into the far bottom corner, Azevedo had no chance.

5 minutes later I bring on Arruda for Benjamim and push us to a quicker, more direct 4-1-3-2. 15 minutes after that I tell the wide players to put crosses in early, and everyone else to pump the ball into the box. 5 minutes after that I bring on João Borges as a shadow striker for Antunes.

With 2 minutes to play in normal time we finally get our chance. Seidi chips the ball down the left wing for Amonike, who plays it straight on for Magina. Magina switches it excellently to Kevin on the right wing, who swings a cross in towards the far post. Arruda’s there less than 6 yards out, but he gets underneath the ball and puts it over. I think I’ve seen enough for today. I walk back down the tunnel.

I know, I know. That’s football, sometimes it just doesn’t come off. You can be in great form, which we were, and then out of the blue you turn in a toothless performance and lose 2-0 at home. It doesn’t cross the line into unacceptable, it’s just one of those things, but it isn’t half infuriating.

Mini-sode 23.5 >

Find me on:

Franjo’s Youtube Channel (For General Gaming Videos)

Nothing Compares (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep22)

We just need to experiment at some point and it may as well be today.

< Episode 21

As much as I enjoy the drama of our matches against Torreense, I’m glad they’re out of the way for the season. We’ve now got 6 matches left to show this league what os Heróis are doing and which direction we’re going in and I’d appreciate it if we could grind out some wins without the need for late winning goals.

Our next 2 matches are away, starting with a trip to Carapinheira today to take on Carapinheirense. They were the first Portuguese team I went up against, in what was probably the first match in my career that my team comfortably won.

I’m making a few changes in terms of both Project: Meatloaf and our personnel for the match. It’s not that I underestimate Carapinheirense, we just need to experiment at some point and it may as well be today against one of the worst clubs in the PT Championship.

Aurélio is dropped unsurprisingly as I have concerns over his form and it’s become clear that even if I wanted him to stay beyond the summer, he wouldn’t sign a new contract. Amonike takes his place on the right.

Medeiros is left out for a similar reason, I’d like to use this match as an opportunity to try out a potential replacement as he’s leaving in the summer. 16 year old Carlos Antunes makes his full debut in the number 10 role.

Benjamim’s form has dropped slightly but to be honest I just want to give Rúby a match as I’m very excited about how good he could potentially become. He’ll play in a slightly deeper role than Benjamim usually does, as a ball winning midfielder who also has license to wander up and support attacks.

5 minutes in, Antunes passes it to Hurley, who floats a pass onto the right wing. Amonike picks the ball up and crosses it to the near post, where Magina chests it down and fires it in to put us ahead. 7 minutes later he goes close to doubling our lead when Kevin comes inside from the left and plays him in. Magina turns round his marker and drives it low towards goal, but it cannons back off the post.

Nearly 20 minutes in Antunes gets the ball and picks out Kevin’s run through the left, splitting the defence. Kevin speeds past a slide tackle and drills it in to the far post for Magina to knock in. 2 goals to the good already and we’re looking good. The cushion lasts less than a minute though because Seidy gets the ball pretty much straight from kick off and slots it through for Bacurim, who places it into the bottom corner.

The half hour mark comes and goes, but not long after we catch Carapinheirense as they push forward and Antunes dribbles the ball out on the counter. He runs over the half way line and passes it through for Kevin on the right, who chips the ball into the box. Magina is obviously there and he obviously scores on the volley to complete his 33 minute hat trick. I consider for a moment if it would be possible to have him crowned King of Volcano Island but I imagine that there’d be a lot of paperwork involved.

Again though it’s like a reflex for Carapinheirense: Not 2 minutes after the net bulges at their end, they’re down at ours. Namora holds the ball up 25 minutes out and picks out Seidy, who should be marked by Oliveira but I have no idea where he is, worryingly. Rúby tries vaguely to stay with him but Seidy wriggles free and places the ball against the inside of the post, before it trickles agonisingly slowly across the line and in. I decide that a Carapinheirense comeback would be detrimental to my plan of not smashing the away dressing room up at the break, so I tell us to close the ball down more and play slightly narrower, restricting the space that Carapinheirense will have to play the ball through us.

We hold on until half time and beyond though and we’re still leading after almost an hour when I make a sensible double substitution: Benjamim and Medeiros come on for Rúby and Antunes. Their added experience should help us tie this match up.

Sure enough, with 25 minutes to go Medeiros plays the ball in to Magina who has his back to goal on the edge of the area. He spots Hurley making a dangerous run and picks him out. Hurley just has to pull the trigger and he does. Our 2 goal cushion is back. I have half a mind to throw everyone back to defend so the home side don’t instantly come back at us but I stand my ground and ignore the urge to change for the sake of it. 10 minutes later however I bring on Arruda for Magina because he deserves a bloody ovation to himself.

2 minutes from the end Benjamim comes forward with the ball and chips it to Arruda on the edge of the area. He takes it down and squeezes into the near bottom corner, just to really stick the boot in on Carapinheirense.

That’s more like it, I think as the whistle goes and the players applaud both of our travelling fans. A comfortable win, admittedly against the weakest team in the league. Hopefully now we can build a bit of momentum for the run in.

My experiments had mixed results. Antunes was quiet, understandably so, but I still want to give him more chances. Rúby was OK but thinking about it, I’m not sure I’ve seen him make an appearance for us and not get booked, which could be worrying if he keeps it up.

I’ve seen enough from Amonike though to convince me that he deserves a new contract. He was due to leave in the Summer but he’ll now be staying for at least another year.

One more thing to note is that Magina’s ludicrously good relegation stage campaign has made him the joint 4th top scorer in the entire PT Championship (Along with 3 others). For those that don’t remember there are 80 teams in the PT Championship, so I am extremely impressed with his tally of 15.

A week down the line and our plane is en route to Vilafranquense’s home: The municipality of Vila Franca de Xira, in the Lisbon District.

This is an odd situation as our last match against them prompted me to create the more aggressive Project: Meatloaf system after we slumped to a 0-1 home loss. However today we are away, so I make the decision to revert to the same Heróis Original formation that we used that day. In come Seidi, Medeiros and Benjamim, out go Hurley, Rúby and Antunes. Aurélio also comes in for Amonike, who needs a rest. Hopefully this time Vilafranquense will underestimate us.

Actually I say it’s the same system but I have made a subtle change. Our scouting report revealed what may be a chink in our opposition’s armour: their right full back likes to bomb forward down the wing and I want to use this to our advantage. I instruct Medeiros to play predominantly on the left with Kevin to double up on that side, hopefully overloading the right sided centre back who could be left on his own. Magina’s starting position will be moved slightly to the right to compensate.

It takes half an hour for either team to find a way through in any meaningful way. Magina picks the ball up on the right hand side of the penalty area and tries to cut the ball back for a team mate, but his pass is wayward. Medeiros gets to the loose ball first though and plays it first time to Kevin on the left, who floats the ball back across to the far post, where of course Magina is waiting. He rises high above his marker and powers a header in to the far top corner to put us ahead. Joint 3rd top scorer now if anyone’s keeping track.

I’m wary of us being caught immediately after the goal so I tell the team to play on the counter and work the ball into box carefully. We need to soak up the pressure that’s sure to come at us now and then be clinical when we do get chances.

3 minutes later Aurélio’s cross is headed straight back to him by Anta and he tries again, this time successfully getting the ball to Magina at the near post. Magina takes it down on his chest and lays it back to Medeiros, who puts the ball into the empty net. I’m surprised that we find ourselves 2 up 10 minutes from half time away at Vilafranquense but I’m absolutely not complaining.

5 minutes before half time though, just as I’m daydreaming of wiping the floor with this side that so cruelly took a win at Estádio Municipal de Angra do Heroismo, Carlos David passes to Duk on the edge of our box and he turns and crashes a shot off the bar. For a moment I think that Azevedo is going to get to the rebound but Figo beats him to it and pulls one back for Vilafranquense.

To be fair we hold out well after that and do a pretty good job of killing the game off. With 20 minutes to go I tell the lads to defend, and make ourselves compact by going narrow, staying on feet and sticking to positions. I want to make it as difficult as possible for them to get through to Azevedo in our goal. With 10 minutes to go I bring Rúby on for Medeiros to make us even more solid. We now have a back 4, with Seidi and Rúby as holding men and Benjamim just in front as a box to box midfielder. And to be honest that’s that. Vilafranquense don’t threaten us at all through the second half. I mean we don’t threaten them either but I’m fine with that. I would have taken a point against these before the match and we’ve taken all 3.

I tell you what, you can score as many goals as you like against the punching bags of the division, but nothing compares to the feeling you get after grinding out a victory over a good team. A team that may even be better than you. Today was a victory for tactics, for hard work and for defensive solidity. And that’s 3 wins out of 3 since the mid-stage break.

Episode 23 >

I’d appreciate any and all feedback you have on this story – what you like, what you don’t, Whatever you have to say please email me at franjofm23@gmail.com, cheers!

You can also find me on:

Franjo’s Youtube Channel (For General Gaming Videos)

Miniature Heróis (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep21)

It’s time to start the second half of our league campaign.

< Mini-sode 20.5

These are exciting times for SC Angrense: A new batch of Miniature Heróis have made the step up from our academy to the under 19’s squad, and I’ve started looking for a new assistant to replace Roger. First let me introduce you to the 3 brightest young talents to join up with the youth squad:

Carlos Antunes – 16 years old – Attacking midfielder

He’s small, quick, a determined and hard working player with good skills, a good touch and decent passing and technique.

Fernando Batista – 15 years old – Versatile right winger

He may have some work to do in terms of the technical side of his game, but to be fair that’s the easiest side to improve. He’s also small and quick, a determined and hard working team player with decent aggression and flair.

Renato Silva – 15 years old – Striker

He’s got the potential to be a very rounded centre forward. He’s a good athlete, a good decision maker (I find that this attribute is like gold dust among young players) and has decent finishing, movement, speed, work rate and flair.

I’m not sure when we’ll see these lads take to the field in a competitive match but I certainly have high hopes for them, especially as we will soon have vacant attacking midfield and right wing spots that I will be looking to fill.

We had a friendly match against FC Porto in the middle of our 2 week break. I wanted a good performance against a good team to set us up well for a good second half of our Relegation Stage campaign, and yes, I wanted another chance to prove that anything Eduardo Almeida can do, Franjo can do better.

I tweaked Project: Meatloaf slightly, telling both centre backs to close the ball down much less and stick to their positions. Hopefully this will put an end to some of the erratic decision making that our defenders, Oliveira especially, have been making. For the friendly I also gave Jaime Seidi a try at centre back alongside Oliveira, who is on extremely thin ice. I’ve only used Seidi as a holding man so far and I wanted to give him the chance to show that he can play in defence if needed.

4514 (Only 750 of which were Porto fans) showed up at Estádio Municipal de Angra do Heroismo to watch my very first televised match. The first half was a cagey affair and not an awful lot happened until the 55th minute. Aurélio received the ball after a Porto push forward and played an excellent pass over the top down the right wing that Cristiano Magino took down. He sprinted to the byline and drilled the ball in for Medeiros to tap home from the edge of the 6 yard box.

With 20 minutes to go it was Oliveira that turned provider, launching a good long ball over the top of the FCP defence. Again Magina was there to collect but this time he was hacked down in the area by Leite. Aurélio tucked the resulting penalty into the bottom corner to put us 2 up. A couple of minutes later though Gonzalo Martinez’s deep free kick was met by an Alario header, and 5 minutes after that, André André played a great pass over our defence and Alario slotted the ball home again to equalise.

The match ended 2-2 but it gave me a lot to think about. Everyone played well, but Oliveira and Aurélio both put in good performances and threw doubt onto my recent criticism of them. Perhaps when instructed properly Oliveira is a fine centre back. Perhaps in the big games, Aurélio is Senhor Creativity. Seidi showed that he can absolutely be trusted at centre back and I also gave Antunes and Batista a run out towards the end of the match, just to give them a taste of what playing against a top team can be like.

So I got what I wanted, a good result against a good team. Actually we did far better than the sensible part of my brain ever thought we would. I may be yet to better any of Eduardo’s achievements in our unrequited rivalry but I’ll take a draw against Porto.

So here we are a week later, and it’s time to start the second half of our league campaign. To start with we welcome Torreense, who we beat in the reverse fixture thanks to a last second Benjamim strike. In terms of how we’ll set up, Project: Meatloaf is a must with us playing at home against a lesser side and I will give my “best” line up one last shot before I start dropping people. We’ve now not won in 3 competitive matches and we really need to turn that around. We’re 9 points off the relegation playoff spot so I’m still not particularly worried on that front but I want to show that we’re improving and I want to see us finish 2nd behind Caldas, who may as well have already wrapped up 1st place. 1 of our new miniature heróis, attacking midfielder Carlos Antunes, makes the bench. Ideally I’d like him to replace Medeiros when he leaves in the summer but it may be a bit soon.

6 minutes in Burguette hoofs the ball forwards from outside his own area. Bonifácio gets behind santos and sprints through on goal, but shoots straight at Azevedo.

10 minutes later we win a free kick 20 yards out, just right of centre. 36 year old Captain Valadão, who I sincerely wish was 10 years younger and could play on for 10 more years, smashes the ball at goal. It deflects off the wall and wrong foots the keeper, before flying into the far bottom corner. An excellent start for Os Heróis. I get so lost in the moment that I give Roger a high five, before we both awkwardly look at the floor and sit back in the dugout.

5 minutes before half time Torreense counter us after cutting out a bad Aurélio cross. The counter consists of a great high tempo passing move, before Esgaio holds the ball up 35 yards out and slots it through for Bonifácio who smashes it from 20 yards. The ball rockets into the top of net above Azevedo and we’re all square again.

Just after the break another awful Aurélio cross results in another Torreense counter attack. Bonifácio holds it up this time and threads a pass through for Zílio. He dribbles into the left side of our area and santos slides in to win the ball. Zílio goes to the ground and my heart stops, but it turns out the challenge was perfectly timed and play goes on. Mirandas tries to make a clearance but can only smash the ball against the fallen Zílio, and it bounces kindly for Bonifácio 6 yards out who can somehow only leather it against the bar.

This sudden dangerous counter attacking trend prompts a subtle tactical change. We’ll be fairly narrow and we’ll close down less, making ourselves more solid defensively and minimising the chance of Torreense being able to thread passes through the channels like they have been doing.

Almost 10 minutes later Hurley plays one of his patented long balls over the top and Magina takes it down, dribbling skilfully down to the right byline. He looks up and whips it in to the centre of the box where Kevin leaps up and heads it powerfully into the top left corner.

On 65 minutes yet another counter starts from yet another poor Aurélio cross. This time Leo slides the ball through for Bonifácio who picks it up about 35 yards out. He attacks the space between our midfield and defence and dribbles to the edge of our are. Benjamim stays with him but can’t win the ball. He hits his shot well to the top left corner and it brushes Azevedo’s fingertips as it flies in. All square again.

With 15 minutes to go I bring on Amonike and young Antunes on in a straight swap for Aurélio and Medeiros. Despite his part in the Porto draw I’ve lost patience with Aurélio, and as I say I want to see if Antunes can do a job in Medeiros’ absence so he comes on for his debut.

Within a couple of minutes Leo gets the ball to Bonifácio again, who brings it forward but shoots straight at Azevedo. We definitely need a defensive midfielder on now. Torreense have adapted to our narrower shape by running at us instead of passing through us and the space between our midfield and defence is killing us. So with that in mind I swap us back to Heróis Original and bring Seidi on for Hurley in the holding man role.

5 minutes later Miranda puts the ball down the line from a throw in. Antunes takes it down and puts it inside for Amonike, who steps past his marker Eustáquio and drills it in for Magina. With one deft touch he pokes into the bottom left corner from 12 yards. Fuck it, I high five Roger again. We get another late winner and the match ends 3-2. Torreense must hate us.

Episode 22 >

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