The Franjo Show (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep216)

I’ve got some demons to exercise.

The State of Franjo (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Meta-sode 216.5)

My Experience With Game Development (So Far)

Start from the start with episode 1

< Episode 215

I feel powerful since our victory over Monaco. It’s an odd feeling for me to be honest. I’ve made my career for the most part by improving relegation scrappers or lower-midtable teams and trying to secure their futures. Even until now as Paris Saint-Germain manager, I’ve seen us as the underdogs in the title race. It’s Monaco who are the reigning Champions. It’s Monaco who have had a stranglehold on Ligue 1 for the last few years. But suddenly it’s as if a switch has flipped. We’re 6 points clear at the top, we’ve defeated our rivals and the title is now clearly ours to lose. We’re the favourites to win the bloody thing.

I’ve won two domestic league titles in my career: When Sport Clube Angrense romped to the Portuguese Championship undefeated and when Auxerre fought off Bourg-en-Bresse to win Ligue 2. In many ways though this is a completely different proposition to both. Nobody expected Angrense or Auxerre to even be in the conversation for promotion and we certainly didn’t have a team of international all-stars on our books. Everyone knows that Ligue 1 is a two horse race though. Paris Saint-Germain are no surprise package and there’ll be no pity if we lose the advantage we’ve earned so far. This is Paris Saint-Germain and we expect titles. We have 23 matches left to play and we have to keep this form going throughout every single one. We can’t let it slip.

216 1 1 low turnout

216 1 3 preview

With that in mind, we need to keep our feet on the ground when we travel to Nice today. Although we’ve been picking up wins, our away performances have been far from convincing lately and underperforming Nice are due a win. With that being said though, I’m making alterations to the team sheet. Yes, we need to keep our league form going but in a few days we have an absolutely crucial Champions League tie against Roma and I want us in top knick for it. A loss in that one would drop us into second place in our group and most likely hand us a tough First Knockout Round and so should be avoided at all costs.

Only Gigi Donnarumma and Philipe Coutinho keep their places from the Monaco game as we make sweeping changes: Lucas and Triponez are in for Marquinhos and Ibarra in defence, Renan and Dobby replace Bologna and Lato as wingbacks and Kovacic and Veiga replace Neves and Éder in central midfield. Young forward Christian Osséré makes his full league debut as Coman’s rested from the right wing, Orlando comes back from injury to replace Cvitanovic on the left and Moise Kean is in for Manuel Bueno. Yes, it’s a second string, but… What a bloody second string, eh?

216 1 4 formations.png

We fly out of the traps, winning ourselves a second minute corner that Kovacic takes. The ball’s cleared but given back to the Croatian, who swings another cross in towards the far post. Osséré’s there but the angle’s tight, so he heads it back across goal for Kean, who volleys us ahead. 5 minutes later we have another decent chance when Coutinho plays a nice reverse ball to Orlando, who cuts across the box but miscues his right footed shot, sending the ball trickling wide of the far post.

The action dies down for the majority of the quiet half, but does build momentarily when Nice come forward threateningly with a few minutes to play before the break. Ivanovic squares the ball to Testolini 25 yards out, who dribbles to the edge of the box but lashes his shot over Donnarumma’s goal.

On the hour I make a couple of changes to keep a couple of key players fresh: Coutinho and Kovacic are replaced by Hutka and Éder. Just 6 minutes later we have a good chance when Osséré passes it short to Hutka and the substitute launches a great pass into the left channel for Kean. With almost effortless quality, the Italian takes a single touch to take him free of the pair of chasing defenders into the box and then slots the ball beyond Cardinale into the far bottom corner. A couple of minutes after our second goal, Hutka plays another nice chipped ball towards the left wing and this time Orlando chests it down as he cuts inside. Kean cleverly draws both centre backs to the left side of the area, leaving Orlando with a clear pass to Osséré on the far side. The youngster has a free shot from 8 yards out but can only slam the ball against the post.

With just under 20 minutes to play we’re putting on a show with some nice zipped passes around the edge of the final third. Éder passes to Renan, who spots an opportunity and plays the ball around the Nice left back for Osséré, who puts a low first time cross into the 6 yard box for Kean, who sidefoots it home for his second hat trick in three games. I allow him his own ovation from the fans and give Manuel Bueno a 15 minute run out in which he really should score our fourth: Just minutes later, Orlando wriggles down the left and chips a cross in to the big man 4 yards out, but he heads it clean over. 3-0 it finishes.

216 1 5 post.png

216 2 4 pre match.png

We get a couple of bits of pleasant news over the next couple of days. We draw either Rouais or Fleury, both of whom are lower league teams, at home in the 9th round of the French Cup and then we have a few players in the Team of the Week: Lucas, Silvio Cvitanovic, Moise Kean and pleasingly, Christian Osséré. It’s a shame the lad couldn’t bag a goal but he had a good game nonetheless.

216 2 1 draw.png

216 2 3 totw.png

I’ve been looking forward to this match ever since the draw was made. I’m returning to Rome, the site of my last match as France manager. I’ve got some demons to exercise at the Stadio Olympico and defeating Roma to secure the top spot in Group C would, I think, be a fitting way to return.

216 2 2 build up

216 2 5 preview

I’ve got a full strength squad to select from, so once again I’m picking a full strength line up. Donnarumma and Coutinho keep their places again and after his last few matches, I think it’d be silly to drop Moise Kean. Aside from those 3 though, it’s all change again. Marquinhos, Ibarra, Bologna, Neves, Lato, Éder, Coman and Cvitanovic all come back in. As he did against Monaco, Éder will take up a slightly more defensive role than usual, but apart from that it’s the classic Project: InSeine formula.

216 2 6 formations.png

Again, we start like a blue and red thunderbolt. 13 seconds into the game, Moise Kean chips the ball down the left, Coutinho crosses from the byline and Coman pops up 6 yards out to head us in front. What a start. Before the first 10 minutes are up, the same trio links again too when Kean draws Coly out of his centre back position and slips Coutinho through. Coly’s centre back partner Babic comes across to cover, but the Brazilian magician plays the ball into the space for Coman, who bursts in on goal and wellies it low, but Alisson pulls off a fantastic save to deny us a second. From the resulting corner the ball comes out to Coutinho 20 yards out and he passes to Neves, who lays it off for Kean. I’d back him to score from anywhere given his recent form but his 18 yard strike flashes just wide of the far post.

Then it’s finally Roma’s turn to attack in the 11th minute when Embolo finds Nnam in space just outside our box. He wriggles into a shooting position and drills a shot inches wide. 3 minutes later the end to end action continues. Cvitanovic passes to Kean just inside Roma’s half and the striker jinks through into the final third, but again shoots wide from 25 yards. 2 minutes after that, Salah turns superbly on the left wing, taking Neves and Bologna instantly out of the equation. He whips a cross in, Embolo cushions it down with his head for Muñoz 10 yards out, who places his shot against the foot of the post. It should be 1-1.

We get about 10 minutes to relax after an action packed first quarter of an hour, but then when Cvitanovic curls a cross into a messy penalty area from our corner, Salah unsubtly bats it clear with his hand. The referee points straight to the spot. The unflappable Rúben Neves steps up and places the ball perfectly into the top left corner from 12 yards, giving Alisson absolutely no chance. 2-0 and we’re looking good value to win the group.

Before the half hour a long ball from Ibarra is helped on by Cvitanovic for Kean, who touches it straight through into the box where Coutinho’s waiting in space. He should make it 3 but can only poke his effort against the near post. Straight from the goal kick Roma come back at us through Muñoz, who breaks quickly through our half leaving Neves for dead. He plays it inside for Nnam, who passes it on for Rajkovic but the midfielder is forced out wide by Marquinhos. He does manage to get a cross in from the left byline and Embolo rises at the far post with the goal at his mercy, but whether it’s a pass or a really poor shot, his header goes straight back to Rajkovic, who’s offside. That’s another let off to be fair.

Roma push us again a minute later but we win the ball and break with Cvitanovic. The German playmaker passes to Kean 35 yards from Roma’s goal and he spins past Coly with ease before bearing down on the penalty area, but again he fizzes a shot just wide. I’d really appreciate it if he could remember how to shoot at least until we’ve put this game to bed.

Half time has never been so welcome and I’m glad to put a nervy first half behind us. We hold a 2 goal lead but it’s been anything but convincing. It could be 4-4 if both sides were a bit more clinical. I’m tempted to drop back and try to kill the game, but decide against it. We go back out for the second half unchanged.

Within seconds of the restart, Roma waltz straight through us. Nnam gets the ball out onto the right wing, squares it for Muñoz inside the area and the striker shoots low but is denied by Éder’s outstretched leg. Call it knee-jerk, but fuck this. We immediately drop back to a counter attacking 4-2-3-1, featuring Éder and Neves as a deeper defensive midfield duo. The full backs will actually play as full backs instead of inverted wing backs and we’ll have our front 4 waiting to break down the flanks when possible.

216 2 7 change.png

By the 54th minute, we’re under siege. Instead of making us more solid, all my changes seem to have done is invite Roma onto us. Pérez plays the ball out to Karsdorp on the right wing and the full back fizzes a vicious low cross diagonally into the box. Rajkovic, kept marginally onside by Toni Lato, arrives to blast the ball past our stranded goalkeeper. 5 minutes later, a Muñoz corner is flicked on by Nnam, left in acres of space by his marker Marquinhos at the near post. It drifts across the goalmouth and falls to Embolo, who nods his side level.

Bollocks. I may have made a mistake. We go hastily back to Project: InSeine and the fresh and pacy Darcílio comes on replacing Cvitanovic, with Coutinho moving to the number 10 position. I also bring on Manuel Bueno for the uncharacteristically wasteful Moise Kean and we’ll try and play a bit more direct up to him.

With 25 minutes to go, Haksabanovic plays a one-two with Rajkovic and then squares the ball to Muñoz, who has all the space in the world thanks to Ibarra’s lax marking. In torturous slow motion, he draws back his boot on the edge of the box and places a shot into the far bottom corner. Roma 3 – 2 PSG.

A few minutes later we finally come up for air after seemingly being trapped in our own half for over 20 minutes. Éder plays the ball over the top for Darcílio to run onto on the left and he tears to the byline before sliding a pass into the 6 yard box. Bueno arrives… BUENO SURELY… Blasts it against the underside of the bar and away. I think I see where this is going. For the last 17 minutes I bring off Lato, who’s had a disastrous match thanks to Roma’s ruthless attacking movement down the flanks. Lucas comes on to replace him and we go on the attack. We need at least a point because as it stands we’re finishing behind Roma.

In the final few minutes, Lucas is on the attack in the final third but is dispossessed by Karsdorp, who plays it straight down the line for Muñoz, who’s waiting on the halfway line. He sprints through our half, dodges Ibarra’s slide tackle, ghosts past Neves and reaches the right byline, where he plants a superb cross straight on Embolo’s forehead. We all know where the ball’s going. Sure enough, right into the top corner. After an even first half, we have been pulverised 2-4.

216 2 8 post.png

Did you ever see The Truman Show? You know, the one where Jim Carrey is living in an artificial World, unknowingly the star of a Worldwide phenomenon television show based on his everyday life? At moments like this I wonder momentarily whether I’m the unwitting star of The Franjo Show. My players are all actors who have this week been given the brief of “Get a couple of goals, then crumble, so he gets all annoyed and goes one of those rants. Really crush his dreams, that’ll boost our ratings.” It’s a silly thought really because a day like today doesn’t need to be manufactured for a television show. It doesn’t need to be carefully crafted by Ed Harris as he broods himself silly in a studio somewhere wearing a stupid little beret, because sometimes, for no reason at all, life will just shit on you. Sometimes you can stem the tide. As powerful as I felt beforehand as much as it seemed like everything was falling into place for our season, my game management was poor today. By falling back too far too soon I allowed Roma the freedom of the pitch and let them build up a head of steam. I failed to stem the tide and that’s on me, but overall I still very much feel shat on.

So we’ve finished 2nd in our Champions League Group and we’ll take our medicine. We’ll almost certainly face a much stronger opponent in the next round than we would have as Champions, but we’ll pick ourselves up out of this shit, brush ourselves off… Probably hose ourselves down and give it everything. Good morning, Champions League Knockout Stage. And in case I don’t see you, good afternoon, good evening and goodnight.

Oh and seriously, fuck Rome.

216 3 4 quickest

216 3 1 league

216 3 2 league216 3 3 league

Meta-sode 216.5

Franjo v Enrique: Round 2 (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep215)

Surely we won’t get a better chance to beat them all season.

Start from the start with episode 1

< Episode 214

“Hey Boss,” Says Paris Saint-Germain captain and Brazilian international centre back Marquinhos, striding into my office with a cheeky grin, “How many AS Monaco footballers does it take to change a lightbulb?” I look up from my desk and eye him cautiously.

“Go on.”

“Five. Do you know why?”

“No.” I admit.

“Because AS Monaco footballers are idiots.” With that, Paris Saint-Germain captain and Brazilian international centre back Marquinhos throws his head back and howls with laughter. I watch him do so stoney-faced, simultaneously parsing his words in a desperate attempt to find some missed deeper meaning and wondering if I’d ever been this far away from wanting to laugh. After a moment, I come to the conclusions that A) there isn’t one and B) Maybe when I lost Meatloaf and Burnie, although it’s close.

“Right.” I say, as he wipes a tear from his eye.

“It’s good, yes? I have decided that I want to be the joker of the pack!” He stammers, still laughing.

“The…?”

“The joker of the pack.” He repeats, straightening up. “I want to make the team laugh with my funny jokes. For example, have you ever heard the one about the successful AS Monaco footballer?” He’s giggling before he even finishes the question.

“No?”

“Me neither!” He roars, literally doubling up with a fresh wave of laughter.

“It’s better.” I begrudgingly concede. “Still not great though, is it? I mean Monaco have won Ligue 1 three years in-”

“Or here’s one! Here’s one!” Marquinhos steamrolls ahead with gusto. “Tell me knock knock.”

“You want… Ok. Knock knock.”

“Who’s there?” He grins.

“Well I don’t bloody know, do I?”

“Say ‘An AS Monaco footballer’.” He whispers.

“Ok. An AS Monac-”

“Eww go away, AS Monaco Footballer! I don’t want to see you!” He shouts, dramatically recoiling and plugging his nose before yet another baffling laughing fit.

“Good stuff,” I humour him with a kind smile. “And you’re going to be doing… This… A lot going forwards, are you?”

“Yes, I will be dropping by regularly with more funny jokes, I imagine.” He beams.

“Excellent.” I nod. “Unless I sell you first, eh?”

“Ah Boss, you would never sell me!” He heads for the door. “I just convinced Silvio Cvitanovic not to move to Chelsea! He and I and my funny, funny jokes are here to stay.” And with that, Paris Saint-Germain captain and Brazilian international centre back Marquinhos steps out of my office, letting the door swing shut behind him. Fantastic.

215 1 1 cvitanovic unh215 1 2 cvitanovic happy

Screenshot 2019-05-07 at 18.29.23.png

Marquinhos does pop up a couple of times in the build up to our trip to Guingamp with more jokes, although I’ll spare you the details. All I’ll say is that his dislike of AS Monaco is intensifying as we get closer to what will be a crucial match in the title race. As I say though, before that match we’ve got one against Guingamp to think about.

215 1 4 preview

Marquinhos doesn’t travel for the Sunday tie, partially because he could do with a rest before the big game on Wednesday and partially because by this point I just need a fucking break, but the good news is that his compatriot Orlando has overcome his pesky calf strain and is fit enough for the bench. Guingamp are a poor side and are currently sat precariously above the relegation zone, but we can’t afford to rest too many players. As excellent a start to the season as we’ve had, I’m still not entirely convinced by our ability to kick down a door that’s been shut in our face. Guingamp, with their deep, compact 4-2-3-1, are a closed door. Éder is suspended, so the more attack-minded Kovacic replaces him, while Bologna returns to the starting line up ahead of Renan. Otherwise we’re unchanged.

215 1 5 formations.png

The closed door draws first blood just 4 minutes in when Serban crosses low from the left for Pavlovic, who isn’t marked tightly enough by Triponez and makes us pay for it by stroking the ball into the far corner of the net. Much of the half is played on the home side’s tight and scrappy terms, but we eventually draw level 5 minutes before the break when Bueno fires a pass down the left ahead of Coutinho, who keeps the ball from going out of play and floats a cross to the far post, where Coman volleys it in.

Our celebrations last under a minute however, because we switch off and are punished from kick off. Djuricic chips a quick pass into the right channel for Pavlovic, who bring the ball down well and half-volleys into the bottom corner to put Guingamp back in front. But still hellbent on not being behind at half time, PSG reply under 2 minutes later. This time Coman sprints down the right wing and curls cross from a deep position. It’s perfectly aimed towards Manuel Bueno on the edge of the 6 yard box and the big Spaniard tucks in another equaliser.

Rúben Neves comes off at the break because of his tired legs and the booking he’s picked up in the first half. Kovacic will drop back into the deep lying playmaker role while Cvitanovic comes on to play as a central midfield roamer. The Germany captain vindicates his inclusion within 5 minutes of the second half too, curling a 20 yard free kick into the top corner to put us into the league for the first time.

The rest of the match is a bit quiet, with Guingamp reluctant to leave their defensive shape and chase the lead. I bring Orlando on for Veiga for the last half hour to attempt to stretch their defence, but to no avail. They actually nearly level the scores in the 91st minute, but when Himeno chips a cross in from the right wing, Lefeuvre can only head the ball against the foot of the near post. It’s an uncomfortable 3 points, but it’s 3 points that really piles the pressure onto our next opponents and that’ll do for me.

215 1 6 post.png

 

215 2 7 pre match.png

Before our midweek showdown though, we do get a bit of distracting news. After beating Spain and qualifying from our EIL group, England have drawn European Champions Portugal in the Semi-Finals in June. It’ll be a tough ask to take on Gelson and co, but I have to fancy our chances of an upset.

215 2 6 england draw portugal.png

But there’ll be time for that. For now it’s Paris Saint-Germain v AS Monaco. 1st v 2nd. Franjo v Enrique: Round 2. Monaco can move level on points with us if they win and they can move top if they win by 5 goals or more. Obviously I’d really rather that doesn’t happen. If we win, we can go 6 entire points clear at the top. I know it’s still early days as far as the title’s concerned, but that’d be a hell of a boost to our chances.

215 2 3 build up

215 2 8 preview

I’m going full strength for obvious reasons. Out comes Kovacic for the more defensive Éder, out comes Veiga for the more influential Cvitanovic and out come Triponez and Lucas for Ibarra and Marquinhos, who got shouted down by his teammates mid-doctor-doctor-joke during training this morning. Ibarra’s given strict instructions to stay tight to Vinícius Júnior as the lone striker is one of Monaco’s main threats. Bernardo Silva will also need to be watched but the good news is that again, Kylian Mbappé misses out through injury. Surely we won’t get a better chance to beat them all season.

215 2 9 formationa.png

10 minutes in, we break down the right hand side, creating the first good chance of the match. Coman races down the line from our third to Monaco’s byline leaving Chiesa and Theo Hernández choking on dust in his wake. He chips a cross in, Fabinho heads it clear to the edge of the box where Cvitanovic lurks. He catches it perfectly with his laces on the half volley and bloody leathers it into the top corner of Audero’s net. It’s definitely too early to celebrate, but fuck it. I allow myself a fistpump. Before my hand even returns to my side though, we win possession from kick off, Bologna plays the ball out to Coman, the superb Frenchman swings a cross to the far post and Bueno heads the ball back across goal and in. I half-laugh as my players sprint to congratulate the target man in the corner of the pitch. Ever since I joined PSG, my every other thought has been of Monaco. That we’d need to play them, beat them in matches and over the course of the campaign. I’ve had one eye on this match for nearly 4 months and within 11 minutes we’re 2-0 up and cruising.

5 minutes later it should be 3. Cvitanovic this time chips the ball over the top of the defence, commencing a race between Bueno and Fabinho which the former wins at a canter. Bueno takes a touch inside the box and shoots from a narrow angle, but Audero stretches out a hand to claw the ball behind. Just before the break we’re pegged back when Tolisso chips the ball forwards for Silva, who chests it down and shoots low. Gigi beats it back into danger and Marquinhos gets to the loose ball first, but his clearance is mishit and only goes as far as Chiesa, who slots it into the bottom corner.

The second half is low quality, but I’m fine with that. Orlando comes on for Coutinho to give us more pace on the break and Bernardo has a 35 yard potshot caught by Gigi on the hour, but as the half goes on we grow more and more comfortable. With 20 minutes to play I decide to shut up shop. We drop to a defensive 4-1-4-1 with the energetic Moise Kean replacing the tiring Manuel Bueno.

215 2 10 change.png

Kean has a potshot of his own in the dying moments of the match, but as I say, the half is really poor quality. Neither side has a clear cut chance or even a decent one. We see the match out at 2-1 and open up a 6 point lead at the top of Ligue 1. I said after our last encounter with Enrique’s men that the league is my priority and I stand right by that. We’ve not lost a league match yet and if we can beat the reigning champions, why on Earth should we lose one all season? Hand me my trusty grey coat and get a message to the boys in Hero Creek: Fuck Monaco and Fuck the title. Old Franjo’s going for a second invincible season.

215 2 11 post

215 2 12 league

Episode 216 >

Allez Paris! (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep214)

It’s hypnotic, it’s mesmerising, it’s beautiful and fucking hell it might be my favourite goal ever.

Start from the start with episode 1

< Episode 213

It’s really obscene, some of the things you start to take for granted as manager of Paris Saint-Germain, you know. International players for example. I’ve already spoken about how far we’ve come from the days of getting overly excited about Lassina Touré nearly playing for Burkina Faso to now having a squad full of World-renowned talent, but over the break Alon Keren made his debut for Israel. When the news broke, I had what I’m sure is the same question you have: Who the fuck is Alon Keren?

214 1 4 keren debut

Well I’m telling a bit of a porky really, because of course I know Alon. He was in our first team when I arrived in Paris but was quickly moved to the reserves and I’ve barely heard his name since. My point still stands though, which is that even Paris Saint-Germain’s reserve players, who are quite frankly nowhere near the first team, are considered sufficient quality to play international football. To be fair, Alon’s only so far away because we have so many attacking midfielders, which I’m not sure if I’ve already mentioned. I almost feel ashamed to have such depth at my disposal though, as if I’m hoarding an army of wasted talent from the rest of the world. And you know that somewhere in the Israeli leagues there’s a Yossi Benayoun-esque journeyman midfielder playing 40 first team matches per season and fuming his tits off that he’s been beaten to a cap by a lad playing for a big club’s reserves. Anyway I suppose my point is… Good job, Alon.

214 1 5 keren

In other international break related news, Boris Triponez came back nursing a broken nose that he picked up during Switzerland’s match against Sweden and will be out for a couple of weeks, while Orlando, who was very stubbornly not selected for the Brazil squad by Argel Fucks, picked up a calf strain in training and is also out for a short spell.

Orlando made the last Team of the Week after we beat Stade Rennais 4-3, along with Matteo Kovacic, whose Croatia side gave me a headache and Silvio Cvitanovic, who’s come back from Germany absolutely knackered. We’ve also drawn Guingamp in what should hopefully be a straightforward Coupe de la Ligue fourth round tie.

214 1 3 totw

214 1 11 cdll draw

214 1 12 build up.png

So with a crucial Champions League match against København just days away, what do we do about Ajaccio? On paper it’s another straightforward tie: We should sweep a probable relegation battling team aside, especially with home advantage, but with Orlando and Triponez out, Ricardo Ibarra suspended and Cvitanovic blowimg out of his arse, we’re going to have to make some decisions. I want a full strength side at full fitness against the Danes as we could qualify from our group with a win. You could even say that I’d be willing to play a second string against Ajaccio and risk sacrificing 3 points in the league to achieve that. Just to add an extra spice though, Monaco have just lost their first Ligue 1 match of the season against Lyon and so the top spot is ours for the taking. I’d take a scrappy win.

214 1 15 preview.png

Although we’re resting some players, we’ve still got a strong lineup: Donnarumma starts in net with Marquinhos and Lucas in defence, Renan and Lato are our wingbacks, Neves and Éder are in central midfield and Coman, Veiga, Coutinho and Bueno are our front 4. Ajaccio look like they’re set up to frustrate and to grind out a clean sheet. Allez, Paris.

214 1 16 formations.png

13 minutes in, Éder plays the ball to Veiga and sets off sprinting towards the box, but the Spanish playmaker spins and attempts to loft a ball over the top for Coman to run onto. Padovano rises to head the ball clear but only as far as Éder, who brings the ball down expertly just outside the box and drills it into the bottom corner to open his PSG account. Good lad.

Almost quarter of an hour later, Renan breaks up a rare Ajaccio foray into our half by winning the ball from Vasseur and hoofing it down the line for Coman to chase. Coman leaves Padovano in his dust, sprints to the byline, pulls the ball across and Bueno slides in to knock in our second.

Before the match, I said that a scrappy win would do. Well, at half time I bring on Dobby, Hutka and Osséré so that Lato, Neves and Coman can have a bit of a rest, after which… Fuck all happens. The match makes for grim viewing, but all that matters is that another 3 points lifts us clear at the top of Ligue 1.

214 1 17 post.png

214 2 5 pre match.png

Quite annoyingly, Rodolfo Chao goes and picks up a bruised shin in the buildup to the København match. Seeing as he’s not actually registered for Ligue 1 it would be handy to have him available for our Champions League ties, but to be fair we do have a lot of other options available ahead of him. Elsewhere, our unbeaten streak in Ligue 1 stretches to 20 matches and Éder makes Team of the Week alongside Auxerre’s Amine Reynier. My two biggest signings have had a good week.

214 2 3 totw.png

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

The ideal scenario for our next match is that we win and Roma lose. Currently we’re tied for first place in the group on 7 points apiece and I’d rather we put ourselves firmly in the driving seat at the top before we have to face them in the final game of the group stage.

214 2 6 preview.png

For København’s visit we’re making just 2 changes: Marquinhos is short on fitness and so makes way for Triponez, while Silvio Cvitanovic replaces Veiga. I was also going to bring Kovacic in for Éder, but as the Brazilian picked up a booking against Ajaccio he’s now banned for our next match against Guingamp, so I may as well swap Kovacic in for that one instead. Ibarra and Darcílio both join the bench.

214 2 7 formations.png

The first 20 minutes of the match is disappointing. We’re having a lot of possession but our passes into the final third are woefully inaccurate. We need to pass to feet to work the ball through the visitors’ half more effectively. 7 minutes from half time however we get our first chance and in blatant disregard for my tactical instructions, Cvitanovic chips the ball down the left for Coutinho to run onto. Coutinho crosses for Manuel Bueno, who volleys the ball low and hard into the net to open the scoring.

Here’s a strange one: When I get into the changing room at half time, the team’s in good spirits. They’re relieved and happy and Bueno’s getting pats on his big balding head from everyone in reach. However despite the fact that he’s put us in front, I feel like he’s holding us back. Yes he got on the end of a cross, but during our build up play he’s being absolutely dominated and is losing the ball every time it’s played to him. Ignoring his look of dismay, I tell Manuel he won’t be going back onto the pitch for the second half. Moise Kean will be coming on instead as a deep lying forward. The opposition centre backs looked quite comfortable marking our static target man, but Kean will be dropping into space, moving into channels and giving them a bit more to think about.

We restart for the second half and Kean instantly makes a difference, giving the rest of the team a more mobile target who they can spring into space. Approaching the hour, a particularly good ball from Kingsley Coman is fired into the right channel and Kean beats the offside trap, latches onto the pass, sprints into the box and drills our second under Radu’s flailing body. God, I’m good. Kean’s not bad either.

A shot’s soon fired across the bows of my ego though when the Danes put together a good move: Thomsen passes to Kishna, who slips the ball into the channel for Benali, who shoots just inches wide of the near post. I make a few subs shortly afterwards, with Kovacic and Darcílio replacing Neves and Cvitanovic. Kovacic moves into Éder’s role while the Brazilian drops back to protect the defence and Darcílio goes out onto the left wing, allowing Coutinho to move behind the striker.

With 15 minutes to go we’re looking good value for the win and nearly get a third goal when Kovacic’s corner is cleared and given back to him by Darcílio. Kovacic crosses again, Varela tries to head the ball clear but only succeeds in flicking it on across goal and Moise Kean arrives to head it low against the foot of the post.

5 minutes later we put together a really fantastic move. It starts when Éder slides in perfectly on Benali to win us possession and Lucas takes over, passing to Triponez who then plays it to Lato on the left. The Spanish left back dribbles to the halfway line and passes it to Darcílio, who cuts in from the byline, surges past 2 København players and gives the ball to Coutinho. Coutinho plays it straight to Kovacic, who carries it into the final third and plays a one-two with Coman before digging his foot under the ball and chipping it into the box. Moise Kean chests it down on the turn, jinks past the outrushing Radu and rolls the ball into the empty net. It’s hypnotic, it’s mesmerising, it’s beautiful and fucking hell it might be my favourite goal ever. 3-0.

The visitors continue to offer very little going forwards. 7 minutes from time, Benali tries a really optimistic potshot from the right wing and hits the side netting. From the goal kick, we build another attack: Lato winds up with the ball in a deep position on the left wing, swings a cross in, Kean leaps to beat Radu in the air and guides his header into the net. The substitute’s hat trick is completed. Game over.

A couple of minutes later, Strand’s hoofed ball bounces over our back line and Gigi Donnarumma rushes out of his area to meet it, but Benali beats him to it, takes a touch to go round our keeper and slots in a consolation goal. It would’ve been nice to come away from such an impressive win with a clean sheet, but it doesn’t really matter. We’ve turned up in the second half playing attractive and effective football and we’ve largely got Moise Kean to thank. What a performance.

214 2 8 post.png

Elsewhere, Roma drew with Sevilla. This means that we’re out of reach of third placed Sevilla and have qualified from our group. Obviously that was expected and not doing so would’ve been seen as a complete failure, but I’m happy nonetheless that we’ve managed it with a game to spare. It also means that a draw from our final match against Roma will clinch us the top spot and a more favourable First Knockout Round matchup. Allez Paris!

214 3 3 qualify

214 3 1 league

214 3 2 league

Episode 215 >

The Nuevo Mestalla Showdown (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep213)

I fear that I may have brought this on myself.

Side note: I’m off on holiday so won’t be posting. See you in a couple of weeks!

213 1 9 duty begins

“Franjo?” A reporter near the front raises her hand and I nod for her to continue. “What would you say to the claims that you’re slowly eroding the quality of this England side?” I blink, momentarily taken aback, but quickly put on a composed facade.

“I’ve not really heard those claims.” I reply slowly. “Could you elaborate?”

“Well,” She continues, “Some are pointing towards the fact that you seem to be building around a core of Championship and lower Premier League players, players not proven at the top level and players like Phil Jones whose better days are behind them. You’re also playing an awful lot of them out of their natural positions.” I pause for a moment, parsing the criticism.

“Phil Jones has won 2 Serie A titles in the last 3 seasons.” I say coldly.

“As a centre back.” Another journalist pipes up. “And he’s 32, shouldn’t we be looking towards the future?”

“We are!” I laugh in disbelief. “But they’re apparently too young, so I’m not sure what you want.” I force myself to remain calm, but the dam that holds back the dyke of my 3 decades of international frustration is bulging and straining with the effort of it. “Was Teddy Sheringham too old at 36 when he scored against Greece and got us to the World Cup in 2002? Was Wayne Rooney too young when he broke into the England team at 17? Was he too immature and inexperienced when he was running rings around international defenders in 04 and 06?”

“Probably.” Says the first journalist bluntly. “He stamped on Ricardo Carvalho.”

“Look, there’s no magic formula for this, you know. I’ve been England manager for 3 months and I’m casting a wide net. Yes, that includes some Championship footballers that have impressed me. Yes, that includes some young players who I think can lead us into the future and yes that includes Phil Jones. In Midfield. Any more questions?” The first journalist smiles as she begins scribbling away in her notepad, but nobody speaks. “Right. Cheers.”

213 1 11 winks confident.png

Goalkeepers

Jordan Pickford (Sunderland), Jack Butland (Arsenal), Will Mannion (Norwich City)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Defenders

John Stones (Liverpool), Michael Keane (Real Madrid), Juddy Lokando (Manchester City), Louis Winterton (Southampton), Harry Winks (West Bromwich Albion), Trent Alexander-Arnold (Real Sociedad on loan from Liverpool), Luke Shaw (Manchester United), Charlie Taylor (Swansea City)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Midfielders

Eric Dier, Dele Alli (Both Tottenham Hotspur), Reece Oxford (Watford), Jordan O’Halloran (Stoke City), Jack Willis (Arsenal), Stuart Coleman (Manchester United), Phil Jones (AC Milan), Adam Bell (Leicester City)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Strikers

Oliver Webb (Chelsea), Harry Kane (Tottenham Hotspur), Marcus Rashford (Real Madrid), Frank Udeh (Middlesborough) 

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

213 1 1 squad

213 1 2 announced

I’ve made a few changes for England’s matches against Croatia and Spain and if I’m honest, they’ve been met with some bemusement. The first is in defence, where I’ve chosen to swap out Mason Holgate for his uncapped Southampton teammate Louis Winterton. Holgate’s a fine player and like Winterton he’s in good form, but the way I reason it, there isn’t much difference in ability between the two, Louis has actually been playing at centre back as oppose to Mason, who plays right back for his club and Louis is 7 years younger. It’s really a no brainer. Louis can also play in midfield, which you might think I would utilise given my recent trend of playing centre backs as ball winners, but for me he’s a back liner. He’s not tenacious or aggressive enough to play the midfield role I want.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

My second change is the inclusion of Arsenal’s Jack Willis ahead of Bournemouth’s Ed Salmon in the box-to-box role. I like Ed and I have absolutely no doubt that he’ll be back in the England team in time, but his form’s been sliding in the Championship and Jack deserves a chance to impress having had a decent start to the season. He’ll be celebrating the second anniversary of his first and only cap under Eddie Howe in two days time and although he doesn’t exactly scream “World Class” to me, he’s a good player, a good worker and I reckon he’ll fit in fine.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

The third change really pains me. Over the last year I’ve gawped at Eddie Howe’s ridiculous decision to overlook Jobel in his England squads while the Stoke City man topped all the Premier League goalscoring charts. 3 months into my England reign he’s managed 4 goals in 12 appearances and I just can’t justify his inclusion. His replacement is the uncapped Frank Udeh, who was unlucky to be kept out of my last squad by Jobel’s decent form and Harry Kane’s return from injury, but now I have space to give another striker a look and he’s next in the queue. Frank’s had a decent couple of seasons in the Championship on loan at Millwall and Wolves from Arsenal, in which time he made 93 appearances and scored 41 goals. After his £7M summer switch to Middlesborough though he’s been on fire, scoring 8 in his first 14 games and positioning the Boro in a relatively comfortable 2nd place.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Just while we’re on strikers, David Crammond is the man who was left out of my last squad to facilitate Harry Kane’s inclusion but he’s nowhere near breaking back in after a horrible few months. The striker somewhat justifiably feels that he’s outgrown West Ham but made the eyerollingly poor decision to throw his toys out of the pram and demand a move that never came. Now he’s found himself in what I like to call “The Berahino Zone”, where he’s unhappy with the club, the club are unhappy with him and his form is reflecting it. 2 goals in 10 is not good enough, Davey boy. Also he’s sprained his ankle, just to pile on the misery. And speaking of players nowhere near this squad, Lewis Cook is still not playing for City. The pair of them are really good players and I wish I had a reason to include them, but between them they’re earning almost £300k per week, so maybe I’m the one making poor life decisions.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

To warm us up for our final EIL match away at Pep’s place, we’re travelling to Zagreb to take on one of Euro 24’s most laughably poor sides, Croatia. After watching them over the Summer I do expect us to win, but we can’t overlook Mateo Kovacic, who’s been excellent for my PSG side. As it’s a friendly I’ll also be experimenting a bit with personnel, giving some of my “first choice” side a bit of a rest before the Spain game.

213 1 14 preview

213 1 10 experiment

Let’s talk about keepers for a second, actually. Jordan Pickford’s starting this match and unless he cocks up monumentally, he’ll start against Spain too as he’s my first choice. To be perfectly honest though, I’m not happy with any of the goalkeepers in my squad. Pickford and Butland are both decent but prone to flappy hand syndrome, while Mannion seems fine but will never grow into an international starter. We need fresh blood but I just don’t know where it’s going to come from. There are a few good young keepers playing in the reserves of Premier League teams but until their clubs give them a chance I’m certainly not going to. We’ll keep an eye on that.

Ahead of Pickford, Louis Winterton makes his debut alongside our experienced vice-captain John Stones, Reece Oxford is ahead of them as the half back, while TAA and Shaw are going to be the wing backs. Jordan O’Halloran starts with Stu Coleman in midfield, with Abel playing just behind Oliver Webb and debutant Frank Udeh.

213 1 15 formations.png

We push Croatia back with some nice football in the opening minutes and our first chance comes when Webb spreads the ball out to the left wing, Shaw heads it into the box and Udeh gets a header on goal, but he can’t find enough power and the effort’s caught by Maric.

After quarter of an hour, Croatia have their first go when Damjanovic surges onto the left wing from a central position and drills what I think is a cross against the near post. To be fair, Pickford had it covered anyway. A minute later, Damjanovic cuts in from the right but is dispossessed by a perfect Coleman slide tackle, sending the ball sliding away across the turf towards our box. Krovinovic picks up the loose ball, finds a yard of space ahead of Stones and places a shot into the top left corner to give the Croatians the lead.

10 minutes on, Udeh tees a shot up perfectly for Stuart Coleman, who lashes the ball straight down the middle from the edge of the box, forcing Maric to push it behind for a corner, which comes to nothing. On the half hour, Croatian dangerman Vlasic runs at our defence and shoots low and hard towards the corner, but Pickford, in true Pickford style, pulls off an excellent fingertip save and parries the ball right back into danger in the 6 yard box. Luckily Winterton’s there to clear our lines.

Croatia frustrate us for the remainder of the first half and for the majority of the second. On the hour I bring Rashford on for Webb, in the 75th minute we go all out attack and with just 10 minutes to go, we make a rare formation change to a 4-2-3-1. Jack Willis and Harry Kane come on replacing Coleman and Oxford as we pile more and more players forward in search of the equaliser.

213 1 16 change.png

We enter injury time still thoroughly frustrated and Harry Kane even picks up a gash on his head, which I hope won’t keep him out of the next match. For now, he’s bandaged up and plays on but it takes us until the 93rd minute to create our next good chance. John Stones plays a long ball forward into the right channel, it bounces over the defence, Rashford brings it down and powers it low past Maric to finally get us back onto level pegging.

213 1 17 post

I’ll take that. Not exactly a vintage performance but a late goal is always a confidence booster and there were definitely some positives. Winterton for example had a really good debut… Actually no, that’s about it.

213 2 1 udeh thanks

213 2 5 pre match.png

213 2 2 spain build up

213 2 3 nuevo mestalla

Now this is a very interesting development.

Screenshot 2019-04-12 at 13.49.20.png

While we were busy playing out a forgettable draw against Croatia, Austria were doing us a hell of a favour in the European International League, beating Pep’s Spain 2-1. I assumed that Spain would win and would sit on top of our group on 9 points going into the final match and in doing so, I made an ass out of you and me. Weirdly the shock result doesn’t actually change the context of our match at all though. If Spain were on 9 points, we’d have to beat them in more convincing fashion than they beat us to go to the top of the league and qualify for the Semi-Finals in the Summer. Now though, we’re both on 6 points and we… Need to beat them anyway. If it came down to goal difference a draw would do as we’re doing 6 goals better, but it doesn’t, so it wouldn’t. I am hoping though that losing to the group’s whipping boys will put a dent in Spain’s confidence, which we can take advantage of.

213 2 6 preview

Trent Alexander-Arnold, Reece Oxford and Abel are all coming out of the side to make way for Harry Winks, Eric Dier and Dele Alli, who quite frankly I just trust more. I’m also bringing Frank Udeh out and although Harry Kane’s gashed head has healed up quite nicely, I’m going to start Marcus Rashford ahead of him. Rashford’s been one of our better players under my regime and I think he and Webb are probably our best attacking configuration. The final change is at the back, where Louis Winterton is coming out to be hesitantly replaced by Juddy Lokando. Winterton had a good debut and Lokando made a couple of mistakes in the home tie against the Spaniards that really cost us, but I can’t hold it against him. He’s probably our best defensive prospect going forwards so I have to just trust that he’s learned from that match and put it behind him. Tactically I’m making a little tweak in midfield, with Coleman given a more defensive ball winning role so that Spain can’t break on us through the space we often granted them in the middle last time.

213 2 7 formations

As I step out onto the Nuevo Mestalla touchline, Guardiola appears by my side and claps a hand around my shoulders. “Good luck, my friend and may the best team win.” He smiles. I don’t. It’s time to take your medicine, Josep.

The action begins immediately as Spain barrel through our half and win a corner. Isco swings it in but the ball’s cleared and we counter through Marcus Rashford, who surges dangerously through Spain’s half and lets fly from the edge of the box, sending his shot just wide of the far post. In the 5th minute Isco finds himself in space on the left wing and gets a cross in. Lokando and Pickford both come to claim it but the keeper misjudges the flight of the ball and it’s Lokando that gets to it, rising well to head it clear. The defender’s header gets as far as the edge of the box however and with Pickford still in no man’s land, Pérez takes the opportunity to smash a volley over his head and put Spain into the lead. The corner of my mouth twitches. That was so poor by our number 1. Change is needed.

In the 13th minute we put a lovely move together. Alli sprays the ball out to Winks on the right wing, who holds it up for a second before playing it around the corner to meet the run of Ollie Webb. Webb takes a touch, fizzes a low cross towards the 6 yard box and Dele Alli Arrives to tuck in the equaliser. This is more like it.

2 minutes later we win a corner and Webb goes across to take it. He swings the ball in, it’s headed back out and Alli nods it back out to Webb, who whips a cross in towards the near post… Where Juddy Lokando glances a header across goal and in. I punch the air fiercely as Juddy wheels away to celebrate his first international goal, but then I have to move quickly to restrain Rui Faria, who’s shouting unwritable things towards the home dugout. 2-1 England.

Just a minute after we take the lead however, Spain put together a good move of their own. Isco squares the ball inside from the right and Ramos has all the time in the World to slide it into the path of Pérez inside the box. Pérez cuts it back for Grimaldo, who also has acres of space to send a shot pinballing through the crowd of bodies and into the net. 2-2. The breathless start to the match continues when Rashford slips Alli through straight from kick off, but De Gea keeps the Spurs man’s shot out at his near post. We round off the first half with another chance when Rashford cuts in from the right wing while we counter a failed Spanish attack. Rashford plays it into the channel for Webb, who blasts it left footed and just misses the near post.

The second half starts in a similar vein to the first, with Ramos speeding down the left wing just 5 minutes in and hanging a cross up at the far post for Isco, who heads against the post from point blank range. It’s probably just as well for the sake of mine and Pep’s health that the match calms down a bit after that chance though. The next big chance doesn’t come until the 68th minute when Stuart Coleman wins possession in our box with another perfect slide tackle and Alli punts the ball forward to start a counter attack. Ollie Webb takes it down near the centre circle and curls a great pass over Spain’s defence for Rashford to run onto. The Madrid man has the beating of the defenders and runs through on goal as De Gea rushes out to meet him. Rashford dinks it low… AND IN AT THE FAR POST.

“Come on!” I scream, as my mind races to think of something slightly more constructive to do. “Charlie, Michael…” I gesture over to Taylor and Keane on the bench and signal for them to warm up. We’ll try to soak up pressure for the remaining 20 minutes, with Taylor coming on as a winger capable of tracking back and Keane coming on as a more defensive alternative to winks on the right of defence. We still have plenty of pace that we can use to hit them on the break, so we shouldn’t invite too much pressure onto ourselves.

213 2 8 change.png

2 minutes later, Alli fires a weak shot at De Gea, who catches the ball and begins a period of immense Spanish pressure in our half. First Pablo lifts the ball over our defence for Villalibre, who lets it bounce and then half-volleys towards Pickford’s top corner, but the keeper uses his black-cat-like reflexes to tip the ball behind at full stretch. From the corner, the ball’s worked around our box and ends up with Pedro Javier, who drives a low shot which Pickford also turns behind with an excellent diving save. Good lad, Jordan.

5 minutes later, Pablo plays a beautiful, flat diagonal ahead of Lirola on the right wing. Lirola crosses it towards the penalty spot and Villalibre executes a perfect volley, rifling the ball into the back of the net before Pickford can even move. I fear that I may have brought this on myself, but not to worry. We hastily backpedal to the original plan of Project: Pride and introduce TAA in place of Luke Shaw. We now have Trent at right wing back, Taylor at left wing back and Michael Keane in central midfield, making him the 4th centre back I’ve subjected to this mad but fairly successful experiment in the space of 3 months.

With 7 minutes to play and with Spain back at the top of the EIL Division A Group 3 table, Isco finds space on the edge of our box and tries his luck from 25 yards, but it’s easy for Jordan Pickford to catch and he launches the ball up field as he so often does. Webb nods the ball on and Rashford brings it down, then fires it back in front of Webb on the right wing as the travelling fans roar encouragement for the striking pair. Red and white bodies are tearing through the Spanish half in equal measure, determined to either halt or help the developing attack, but they’re all ignored as Webb surges down the right, reaches the byline and pulls it back into the box for RASHFORD!

Pandemonium. Absolute fucking pandemonium as Marcus Rashford nearly takes the net off from 6 yards. People are jumping up on their seats, bottles are being thrown, shirts are coming off… And that’s just in our dugout. Not yet ready to join in the celebrations, I glance over to Pep, who’s stood on the touchline with his half on his chin, blankly staring over towards the Spanish goal. We pull back to our defensive 4-1-4-1 and eventually, after each remaining minute drags on for at least half an hour, we see the game out. We’ve bloody done it. We’ve won the pivotal game in a complete reversal of our previous match up.

My winless record against Josep Guardiola has been ended, Saint George’s cross has been flying throughout, the three lions have been thumped and kissed, Lokando has been vindicated, Rashford has been ruthless and Oliver Webb has just earned himself a mention in my fucking will. The inexperienced players, the out-of-position players, the Championship players, the players past their prime; They’ve all played their part in one way or another in this Group Stage.

So for the love of God, somebody hand me my vindication blanket afore I freeze amidst the icy glares of the tabloid press and while you’re it, hand Mr Guardiola a notebook and a pen, for he must be reminded and he must take note: That, sir, is how you win a fucking league.

213 2 11 post.png

213 3 6 webb record.png

213 3 1 qualified

213 3 2 groups

213 3 5 duty ends

Episode 214 >

F*cks Off, Franjo! (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep212)

It’s taxing on the brain, you know; Being a man of the World.

Sidenote: Friday’s episode will be coming out Saturday instead. I think I’ve finally figured out what I want to write when this series eventually ends so excitedly researching and planning for that has eaten most of my week! Back on schedule next week.

Start from the start with episode 1

< Episode 211

Bechkoura chortles over the morning paper. “You’re in here again. Have you seen the headline Le Monde’s gone with?” He asks, pushing the publication towards me. I glance down.

F*cks Off, Franjo!

“Charming.” I grin. I start to read the article aloud. “Argel F*cks has hit out aggressively at Paris Saint-Germain boss WT Franjo after he urged Brazil’s head coach to… What’s this word? Rec… Reconnaître-”

“Recognise. How long have you been in France now?”

“To recognise Orlando’s recent form and call him up to his latest squad. F*cks reportedly said that Franjo’s hands were full enough already and he should concentrate on picking his own teams. Blimey. Do they really have to censor his na-”

“I’m serious.” Bechkoura cuts in with a smirk. “You’ve been here for over 3 years and you’re not exactly fluent in French, are you?”

212 1 3 orlando call up212 1 4 fucks

“Well give me a break, will you? I’ve got all sorts rattling around up there nowadays! It gets confusing! Swedish, Portuguese-”

“Oh, learned a lot of Swedish in those 6 weeks did you?” His smirk grows wider.

Portuguese,” I reiterate, “Polish… Even a bit of German from the Liechtenstein days. It’s taxing on the brain, you know; Being a man of the World. You wouldn’t understand. How come you speak such good English?”

“Because I had to learn! You and Crouch were in at Auxerre and I had to learn to keep up. I had to pander to you English like the rest of the World always does.”

“Pander’s a good word. Good vocab.” I give him a thumbs up. He scowls back at me as if I’ve missed his point.

212 1 7 preview

You know what I’d love today? A bit of bloody payback for the thumping we received from Sevilla a few weeks ago. We’re in decent form now with 2 wins on the bounce and Dobby, Kovacic and Orlando are all deservedly included in Ligue 1’s Team of the Week. Kovacic and Orlando especially have had a magnificent couple of matches and if they recreate that form in the Champions League, we should be laughing.

212 1 5 totw

In other news, Rodolfo Borrell has finally caught up with me after watching Brahim Ferhat for what gelt like a full 6 months in Auxerre. He was in the crowd for our win over Rennes and is apparently interested in Marquinhos, our club captain who’s only just starting his season. If I have to say this any more the words are going to start lose meaning, so please Rodolfo, take the hint and jog the fuck on.

212 1 1 borrell spotted

We’ve pretty much got a full squad to pick from now. The only man that won’t be fit for this one is Manuel Bueno, who twisted his knee in the dying moments of the Rennes match and is out for about a week. He comes out of the side, as do Renan, Dobby and Coutinho who I want to rest. Bologna, Lato, Cvitanovic and Kean are all in.

212 1 8 formations

Our 2 in-form midfielders combine to create a chance in the 14th minute when our cleared corner leaves the ball with Orlando on the right hand side of the box. The winger, who we’ll assume will not be winning his first cap over the upcoming break, floats a cross to the back stick and Kovacic has to leap to stop the ball going out for a goal kick, instead sending it looping off his head, back across goal and clipping the top of the bar. 5 minutes later, Moise Kean holds the ball up 25 yards out and spins to slip Orlando through on the left. Orlando looks up from the byline and fizzes a low cross into the 6 yard box, where Dani Bologna of all people arrives to bundle home his first goal of the season.

A few minutes after the opener and with blood in the water, my Parisian sharks are circling. This time Cvitanovic switches the ball expertly to the left wing, where Orlando drives for the byline like he does and crosses for Kean, who turns a header over the bar from inside the 6 yard box. A disappointing end to a good move. In the 26th minute a patient bit of Sevilla play ends with a bit of a whimper as Youri Tielemans chips a pass into our left channel and Bologna easily beats García to it. The goalscorer’s touch takes him into our box though and in a breakdown of communication, fellow Italian Gigi Donnarumma comes charging out to boot the ball clear. Bologna does it first, leaving our keeper in no mans land and when Dani’s poor clearance is volleyed straight back into danger by Pozo, Abba merely has to wriggle free of Ibarra and nod the ball into the empty net to equalise. Excellent.

Just after the half hour, Toni Lato makes the exact same mistake, winning the ball from Pozo and playing a really awful clearance straight to García on the opposite wing, midway into our half. García passes inside to Tielemans, who plays it forward to Óliver and a quick round-the-corner pass later, Abba should put Sevilla ahead but thankfully blazes his shot wide of the near post. What’s happened to my sharks? Why is it suddenly our blood in the water and why are Sevilla so pissing frustrating to play against? I call Marquinhos over to take instructions to the rest of the team: Keep it on the floor, lower the tempo, stop giving them the bloody ball 30 yards out.

1-1 is still the scoreline when we get the second half underway. Orlando shows another little flash of brilliance in the 52nd minute, jinking across the width of Sevilla’s box and doing well to create a pocket of space, but then shooting with his weaker right foot straight into Zoet’s arms. A few minutes later though the action’s back down at our end: Óliver swings a corner to the far side of the box and Kurt Zouma rises above both Ibarra and Marquinhos to head the ball back across, where Abba chests it down and Pozo lashes it in on the volley from 6 yards, completing the Spaniards’ turnaround.

We nearly find the equaliser straight from kick off when Kean latches onto a zipped Kovacic pass, but he drags his effort well wide from inside the box. I’ve seen quite enough of our ineffectiveness for one day so decide to shake things up: Éder comes on for Orlando and we go to a narrow, attacking 2-3-2-1-2. Essentially a midfield diamond with overlapping wingbacks. We’ll focus down the middle, trying to overwhelm the visitors with high tempo, direct football. Coman plays as a second striker, joining Kean, who I think will be glad of a striking partner after a quiet few games on his own.

212 1 9 change.png

So close! 5 minutes after the changes, Toni Lato hooks a cross in from the left wing, Kean brings it down coolly at the near post and squares for Coman just outside the 6 yard box. The winger shoots but is denied by a tremendous last ditch tackle from Popescu that deflects the ball wide. With 13 minutes to go and time running out to even salvage a point from what was meant to be Sevilla’s brutal retribution, I throw massive winger Rodolfo Chao on in place of Moise Kean as a makeshift target man. I already really miss Bueno.

We enter the final 10 minutes playing the ball patiently around Sevilla’s half but don’t look too threatening, that is until Neves plays the ball to Germany captain Silvio Cvitanovic, who spins on the spot 35 yards out and fires a pass out ahead of Bologna, who has space to move into. Bologna brings the ball down and into the box with his first touch and strokes it into the far corner of the net with his second, sending a wave of relief rippling over me. Dani Bologna is just about the unlikeliest hero we could have had today. Well played, you brilliant bastard.

We drop off slightly after equalising as at this point I’m ready to take the draw, but we go oh so close to a winner when Coman releases fellow makeshift striker Chao in the left channel. The Argentinian charges into the box and shoots from a tight angle, but can only hit the near post.

212 1 10 post.png

212 2 2 pre match.png

I’ll be honest, that’s really annoying. What could have been a nice straightforward win very nearly turned into a loss because of a couple of mistakes. Bologna redeemed himself pretty well but there’s no doubt that his poor clearance directly lead to Sevilla’s first goal, while Kurt Zouma beating both of my centre backs in the air from a set piece is downright unforgivable. We’ll be doing extra set piece training this week.

212 2 3 preview.png

Our match against Dijon comes just a few days later and if one thing was made perfectly clear during the Sevilla match other than our trouble with individual mistakes, it’s that we need reinforcements up front. In the space of a week we’ve gone from being pretty well stocked to having one striker out of sorts and another injured. The fact that we had to be bailed out by our right back speaks for itself and even Rodolfo Chao can’t play league matches as we have too many foreign players, so he hasn’t been registered. We need another option and although I’ve got my scouts out looking for players to bring in in January, for now we need to look closer to home. Meet Christian Osséré:

212 2 1 ossere.png

Christian’s caught my eye at exactly the right time. Just as I need an extra striker he’s set the reserves league on fire, racking up an incredible 14 goals and 3 assists in just 9 matches. He signed from Red Star for a nominal fee as a youngster and now at 20 he’s made just 2 league appearances for PSG’s first team, which is exactly the problem with the way this club has been doing our transfer business by the way, but let’s not get into that right now. Christian’s a quick, hardworking and dedicated striker who can also play in the hole or out on the right. He can take on a defender and he definitely knows where the net is. Rúben Neves misses this one with suspension so Éder comes into midfield. Other than that we’re unchanged, but with young Osséré on the bench.

212 2 4 formations.png

We get off to a scorcher, which is a welcome relief. 5 minutes in, Marquinhos picks up the loose ball and plays a pinpoint pass out to Orlando on the left and the pacy wideman gets it out of his feet before firing the ball low across the 6 yard box. Cvitanovic arrives to turn the ball under Bartolelli and get us off on the right foot. By the 20th minute we look unstoppable, playing short sharp passes and making tidy runs so quick that Dijon can’t even get close to us. Cvitanovic plays a one-two with Orlando and then dribbles out onto our favourite left flank himself, floats a cross in to the far post but it’s just behind Coman, who barely manages to cushion it down for Kean before ending up tumbling into Dijon’s net himself. Kean shoots from 6 yards but it’s straight at Bartolelli, who parries it. Coman gets on the follow up but his shot ricochets off Calvo. The linesman’s flag is raised against the Frenchman anyway.

And then the gut punch: Just after half an hour’s been played, Surac swings a corner in, Assombalonga heads it on and Esposito’s unmarked at the far post to head the hosts level. So easy.  7 minutes later we have a crack at a similar move ourselves when Cvitanovic whips a free kick in from the left wing, Marquinhos flicks it on and Ibarra’s header goes straight into the arms of the goalkeeper. Just before half time Dijon win another corner. This time Guenouche takes it, floating the ball straight over to the far post, where Esposito is alone again to nod his side in front. At half time the score is 1-2 despite our 12 shots to their… 2.

I don’t conceal my rage at half time. We’re developing a very worrying habit of conceding easy goals. Even my France side didn’t concede from this sort of dross, they just got torn apart by anyone who had the gaul to play a forward pass. I tell Kingsley Coman to come back for set pieces and man mark the hell out of Esposito and kick them all back down the tunnel, their ears still ringing.

With 32 minutes to go we go all-out-attack. With 29 minutes to go we equalise, but it comes from a moment of magic rather than an improvement in our football, which leaves me still feeling uneasy. Cvitanovic curls a 20 yard free kick so far into the top corner that I’m surprised it didn’t get stuck between post and bar, bagging his brace. The goal does however seem to give us a kick up the collective arse and we put together a good move just moments later. The ball winds up with Orlando, who squares it for Kovacic 25 yards out. The Croatian lays it off to Coman, who toe pokes it into the bottom corner from the edge of the box. Not the prettiest goal you’ll see, but we have at least turned it around. Moise Kean is rapidly dropping in my estimations though and after another quiet 70 minutes, he’s hauled off to make way for young Osséré

Inside the final 15 minutes, Cvitanovic plays a good ball onto the left wing and Orlando runs onto it, which is fast becoming our bread and butter. Orlando crosses from the byline, Coman cushions the ball down at the far post and Cvitanovic lashes a volley goalwards, but it’s blocked by Esposito, who throws his body in the way. I do wish he’d fuck off. A minute later Cvitanovic lobs another perfect pass over the Dijon defence and Orlando brings it down inside the 6 yard box, before slotting in our 4th from a narrow angle. Finally a bit of breathing room.

Éder makes way for the final 10 minutes and Hutka comes on to replace him as I’m still not too sure about the young playmaker and want to give him a run out. Within a couple of minutes though, the hosts peg us back when Arrieta spins Ibarra and releases Jonathan Leko on the right wing. Leko draws Gigi off his line and then aims a low cross at the far post, where Assombalonga bundles it over the line for 4-3.

We have a few decent chances before full time, with Bologna shooting wildly after a short free kick and Osséré having 2 shots well saved by Bartolelli, but the final score stays at 4-3 and we take the win. Just.

212 2 5 post

I was really hoping that these matches would cement in my mind the fact that we’d turned that blip around, but if anything it’s made me even less confident. We have problems at the back, problems with set pieces and a problem named Moise Kean who’s forgotten how to shoot. Some positives though are that Osséré looked busy after coming on, Cvitanovic is finally showing me that he can be the player he promised to be and Orlando just will not stop being fantastic. Oh and we’re top of our Champions League group still and also Ligue 1, albeit having played a match more than Monaco. Swings and roundabouts, eh?

212 3 1 league212 3 2 league

The Little Hangover (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep211)

As long as we keep our heads we can get straight back to business.

Start from the start with episode 1

< Episode 210

Let’s get back on track here, can we? We’ve had our first real bump of the season, drawing with Lille and getting mullered by Sevilla, but as long as we keep our heads we can get straight back to business. Onward to Nancy!

211 1 3 preview.png

AS Nancy Lorraine are still on single points as they’ve lost 4 of their 9 matches so far and as we need a win to cure our little hangover, I’m going as close to full strength as I can today in the hopes that we’ll blast them to smithereens. Marquinhos slides the armband on for his first start since coming back from injury and replaces Boris Triponez, Dobby comes in for Lucas on the left, Kovacic comes back into midfield replacing Neves, while Éder slides back to provide the solidity and Brazilian duo Coutinho and Orlando replace Veiga and Cvitanovic in our attacking line.

211 1 4 formations

Oh dear. Within 4 minutes of the match, Éder loses track of Vincent, can’t get close enough to block his chipped ball through for Zeneli and the winger gets himself goal-side of Marquinhos and boots the ball past Gigi from 8 yards. We’re behind for the 3rd time in 3 games. The first 20 minutes or so are very scrappy on the whole though and Zeneli resorts to frustrated 35 yard potshots that are closer to the corner flag than the goal, which is fine by me.

Just after the half hour we manage to hit back when Kovacic’s corner is only cleared as far as Coutinho, nods it down for Éder, who completes the Brazilian trifecta by laying it off for Orlando. The winger strokes the ball firmly into the bottom corner from the edge of the box to bring us level.

Before the break, Coutinho spins on the ball inside the centre circle and then sprays a perfect pass onto the right flank for Coman. The French International dribbles down the right wing, whips a cross into the 6 yard box and Orlando arrives again to knock it over the line and complete the turnaround.

We take our lead into the second half and with an hour to go I freshen things up with the introductions of Manuel Bueno and Rúben Neves in place of Kean and Éder. 7 minutes later Coutinho countinhues… Never mind… He continues to impress by bringing a loose ball down with his shoulder and dinking a pass into the central channel for Bueno. The mighty Spaniard barrels into the box and shoots, but Martín does his job well in rushing out and blocking the shot.

Both sides go close in the last 15 minutes, first when a well worked PSG free kick is drifted in from right wing by Coutinho, flicked on by Ibarra and headed over from close range by Coman and then when Zeneli chips the ball through our defence for Torin, who drags a shot just wide of the far post. Thankfully, we manage to scrape through to claim the 3 points.

211 1 5 post

211 2 2 unbeaten 17.png

211 2 7 pre match

It’s a funny thing, momentum in football. Until now, a scraped 2-1 victory over a side like Nancy would be ringing alarm bells, but after our worrying week, the 3 points were all that mattered there. Now with that admittedly small monkey off our backs, hopefully we can get back to expecting more dominance in our wins. I’m very thankful to Orlando for his brace and I’m more than happy to see almost £5M shipped off to Santos (Brazil) after he reached 10 league goals for us. He also makes it into the Ligue 1 Team of the Week and rightly so.

211 2 1 orlando fee.png

211 2 3 totw.png

PSG are the top club in France for producing Ligue 1 footballers as 22 of our graduates are currently plying their trade in France’s top tier. Auxerre are in 2nd with 17, which obviously makes me smug as fuck.

211 2 6 leading development.png

And speaking of our youth graduates, we’ve just announced an affiliation with FC Utrecht which could see some talented young Dutch players emerge from our academy in years to come.

211 2 4 utrecht link

211 2 5 affiliates

Struggling Stade Rennais are in the unfortunate position of being the team that we face at home right after we’ve gotten back to winning ways. I want us to prove how over the Sevilla result we are by hammering the poor bastards into the ground like a big red and black tent peg.

211 2 8 preview.png

I also want captain Marquinhos to show how over his injury he is by leading us to victory from the back. He plays his 350th league match for PSG today and is rapidly closing in on the club record. Toni Lato’s back from injury now too and will be on the bench. Meanwhile, Neves, Renan, Cvitanovic and Bueno all come in as Éder, Bologna, Coutinho and Kean are rested.

211 2 9 formation.png

Again we start shakily much to my annoyance. To make matters worse it’s Marquinhos that brings instant pressure to our door, giving away a free kick almost straight from kick off. Diallo smashes the free kick over the bar. Before even 5 minutes have passed, they come at us again and again it’s Diallo leading the charge. He sprints down the left wing, sends a low cross spinning away off Bologna’s outstretched leg and Rennais work the ball around the edge of our box. It ends up at the feet of Joel Campbell, who lays it off for Alexis Blin to fire low past Gigi. Behind again. For fucks sake.

Our fortunes change again around the half hour and it’s Kovacic that’s the catalyst. Coman drives down the right and drills in a cross that Jovanovic swipes clear as far as the Croatian, who plays Orlando through on the left wing. Orlando squares it to Bueno on the penalty spot and the target man slides the ball into the bottom corner. A minute later Kovacic plays a beautiful flat lofted ball through the centre that takes 4 Rennais players out of the game and leaves Bueno with a clear run at goal. He shoots from the edge of the box but Chandarov bats it wide for our corner.

That one comes to nothing but we win another corner in the 33rd minute. Cvitanovic crosses it in, Mukiele nods it away but Kovacic is there again, cushioning the ball down for Rúben Neves, who brings it down on the penalty spot and drills into the bottom corner for 2-1. We see the half out with relative comfort and finally open up a cushion in the 53rd minute when Kovacic lays the ball off for Dobby, who slams it to the keeper’s right from the edge of the box. The box to box midfielder then dribbles into the Rennais area just before the hour and squares for Bueno, but his shot deflects off Mukiele’s legs and falls to Orlando, who slots in our 4th goal from 10 yards.

I’m pretty content now that the game’s won, so off come Neves, Kovacic and Coman for half an hour of rest. Seeing as we’re hosting Sevilla midweek I want them fresh for the utter bollocking we’ll be dishing out. Éder, Veiga and Coutinho all come on. With a few minutes to play, Bueno comes off injured and we go down to 10 men, but it’s not going to affect us now. In fact we get another chance in the dying minutes when Coutinho finds a pocket of space on the right and floats a cross in to the far post. Cvitanovic heads at goal from close range but Chandarov manages to hold onto it. 4-1 it finishes.

211 2 10 post

While I’m a bit annoyed that we need to keep coming back from a goal down, I wanted a couple of decent wins to wash away the taste of that Sevilla loss and we’ve got them. What would be really handy is if we can give Sevilla a hiding at the Parc des Princes to well and truly put that demon to bed. For now, at least until Monaco play their game in hand, we’re back on top of the league and feeling good.

211 3 2 league

Episode 212 >

Happy (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep210)

I feel like a room without a fucking roof, boys.

Start from the start with episode 1

< Episode 209

I’m very happy. Everyone’s very happy today. Why in the name of Timothy Filiga Cahill and his two storey vertical leap would anyone be anything other than happy today? I won both of my England matches, PSG are unbeaten in 15 league games and Bayern boss Massimiliano Allegri was spotted in the crowd at PSG’s last match watching Ibarra and Orlando. If he wants to make an official approach for either player, I’ll happily tell him to keep jogging on until he falls in the Seine. Happy, happy, happy.

As Bayern are no longer interested in Yûsuke Abe, he’s now happy to stay. Renan Henrique wants a new contract and I’m happy to offer it, while he’s even happier to sign it. I feel like a room without a fucking roof, boys.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Moise Kean picked up a concussion in Italy’s match against Romania, but he’ll be fit enough to feature in some capacity in our next match and guess who else is back? Mateo Kovacic and Marquinhos! Both are fit enough for our next match day squad. You couldn’t remove my smile with a picture of Liverpool lifting the Premier League trophy, stood on a podium made of severed puppy heads, lads. Toni Lato’s picked up a groin strain in training over the break even though he was left out of the latest Spain squad, but we won’t dwell on that for fear of bringing the mood down. We’re all just so fucking happy.

210 1 5 lato out.png

Lille are not as happy as us. Not by a long shot. While we have a close-to-fully-fit squad packed full of World class talent, Lille are in the relegation zone having shipped an average of 2 goals per game. They’re the antithesis of happy. They’re distinctly unhappy and I want them to stay that way beyond their visit to the Parc des Princes today.

210 1 9 preview.png

As I say though, we do have a few fitness issues at the minute and with one eye on our trip to Sevilla midweek for our third Champions League Group match, I’m fielding a slightly weakened side. Donnarumma, Ibarra and Lucas start in defence and incidentally I’ve been impressed with Lucas this season so far. A few really solid performances have put him right back into my good graces following our falling out when I dropped him from my France squad and I now actually wonder whether Marquinhos deserves to walk back into the side ahead of him. Renan Henrique, Éder and the Dobster start ahead of them, while Kovacic returns to his box-to-box role. Kingsley Coman gets a rare rest and I’m trying young Michal Hutka out on the right wing in his place. With Moise Kean still recovering from his concussion though the last 3 spots are as we’ve come to expect: Coutinho in the hole behind Bueno with Orlando out on the left.

210 1 10 formations.png

We try to come flying out of the traps but our attacks don’t click in the first few minutes. Credit to Lucas for getting stuck in, winning us the ball and launching those attacks, but he’s also at fault when Teixeira breaks past him in the 3rd minute and lashes a shot just wide of Donnarumma’s near post. I will admit that it very nearly wipes the smile from my face 15 minutes in when Benhalib breaks following a cleared Kovacic free kick, dribbles through our half unchallenged and sticks the opening goal in the bottom corner, but due to my unnaturally high current happiness levels, I manage to hold onto a slight smirk.

We go on the attack after the half hour as we’ve really struggled to break the visitors down so far, but our next patient passing move through the middle of the park is brought to an abrupt end when Kovacic’s pass is cut out on the edge of Lille’s box by Kapustka, who lumps it upfield. Teixeira takes possession on the halfway line and slices our defence open like a hot scalpel with a pass ahead of Benhalib, who runs through on goal but scuffs his shot wide. A minute later we manage to breathe a sigh of relief when Kovacic has a more successful pass find Manuel Bueno on the edge of the box and the big Spaniard blasts past Pattinama to equalise.

We’re nearly instantly behind again though as Benhalib passes into the box for Teixeira pretty much straight from kick off and Ibarra is nowhere near covering the striker’s run. Teixeira shoots, but hits Gigi’s right post to spare our blushes. If these could shoot, this match would be over.

After a calm half time exchange of ideas though, we manage to turn the tables on Lille just 2 minutes into the second half from a well worked right sided throw in. Renan throws to Hutka, who plays it into the box for Dobby, who lays it off for Coutinho and the Brazilian smashes one ruthlessly into the top corner for 2-1. After the hour we ease off a bit as Lille seem a broken team, with 10 minutes to go I decide to bring off Ibarra and Orlando and replace them with Marquinhos and Kean to get them 10 minutes fitter and with 3 minutes to go we drop back entirely into a defensive 4-1-4-1. This, as it turns out, is my mistake. In the 91st minute we’re so far back that Lille have got the run of our half and Sarabia surges down the left wing unchallenged, looking for options. He spies one in that nuisance Benhalib and lofts a cross towards him at the far post. Benhalib chests it down but Lucas charges courageously in and swings his boot at the ball in an attempt to clear our lines, but in doing so he smacks it against the striker and the ball ricochets back across our box in torturous slow motion. Sarabia arrives quite unmarked and prods Lille level from point blank range with barely a few seconds left to play.

210 1 11 post.png

There’s certainly nothing like a late goal against you to dampen spirits, but in all fairness I think Lille deserved a point. We had the lion’s share of the chances, but they had the best ones. Also I refuse to get overly down over that result because of the fact that I’m still getting to know this squad! This was a side missing Marquinhos, Bologna, Lato, Neves, Coman and Kean, who I would say from my early impressions are some of our most important players. Today I’ve learned that I probably shouldn’t leave so many of them out of the squad at once, so lesson learned. The upside of that decision though is that we’ve now got the majority of them fighting fit for our Champions League trip to Spain.

210 2 2 pre match.png

210 2 1 sevilla build up.png

Sevilla actually shocked the World last time out by losing to FC København, who are seen as the weakest side in Group C by many including myself. They’ve also drawn against Roma, a result that gave both sides their only point so far. This bodes extremely well for us.

210 2 3 preview.png

I’m bringing a lot of the big guns back in for this one, although I’m also rotating a few players out because of ineligibility and fitness. Renan Henrique, Dobby, Kovacic, Hutka, Coutinho, Orlando and Bueno are all out as Triponez, Bologna, Neves, Coman, Veiga, Cvitanovic and Kean come in. Lucas gets a run out at left sided inverted wing back due to Dobby’s ineligibility and Lato’s injury and Éder pushes forward as a ball winning midfielder in front of Neves, who returns to his favourite role at the base of midfield.

210 2 4 formations.png

The game does not get off to a terrific start. It takes less than 2 minutes for Youri Tielemans, star of Belgium’s Euro 24 side, to poke the ball down the left for winger Fran García, who surges down the flank purposefully. He gets to the byline and squares the ball into the 6 yard box, where Triponez slides in but completely misses his interception, leaving attacking midfielder Óliver free to prod the ball into the net from point blank range. In the 19th minute, we’re playing some fairly nice football but Sevilla are pressing us mercilessly. We string together a particularly nice move through the middle of the park but eventually run out of steam under the hosts’ defensive pressure and they break forwards. This time Óliver turns Rúben Neves 25 yards from goal and flicks the ball past Triponez for Abba, who hits a sweetly struck volley beyond Donnarumma’s reach for 2-0. We go on the attack for the last 10 minutes of the half, but go in for the break 2 goals down.

As the half time whistle blows, a strange thing happens: It’s as if the sound shakes loose some old memories that I’d long since forgotten about. They flash across my mind’s eye in a brilliant montage and I grab Bechkoura’s arm as he makes to stand up and head for the tunnel. “Hang on.” I mutter. “We’ve done this before.” My assistant eyes me cautiously. “We’ve played this match before.” I insist.

“Are you alright, Boss?” He asks, wearing a look of genuine concern.

“I’m fucking fine, but I mean it, we’ve played this match before!” The memories start to swim back away into the back of my mind but I lock my eyes shut and try to force them back to the foreground. “Come on, come on… Coman crosses it…” I mutter.

“Boss?”

“Kean heads it in! We’re winning!”

“I’m going to get the doc.” I tighten my grip on his tracksuit sleeve.

“And then time stands still.” I open my eyes and notice that I’m breathing slightly heavily. “Everything froze. Right as that half time whistle went. But don’t you see? We were winning!”

“Well lucky us.” Bechkoura replies, trying to shake his arm free of my grasp. “But in the real World we’re 2-0 down, so shall we…”

“It was real! It was here! We were winning! It was as if it was a… A different timeline, where we came into the half time break with a 1 goal lead.” He finally frees his arm and half-laughs.

“Wish we were in that timeline now.” He mutters. “A 1 goal lead away at Sevilla at half time. Wow. That would really be something.”

“It would, wouldn’t it, Bechkoura. A 1 goal lead away at Sevilla at half time would really be something that would give me confidence of bouncing back after our disappointing draw against Lille at the weekend. But here we are. Half time in our match away at Sevilla and we’re 2-0 down.”

“Almost feels like we’ve been cheated out of a result, the fact that we’re now here in this decidedly worse timeline, doesn’t it?” He asks, seriously.

“Almost.” We stare at each other. There’s a long, heavy silence between us that the jubilant noises coming from the majority of the stadium fail to penetrate.

“Shall we head in?”

“Yep.”

I make a couple of changes at the break: Marquinhos comes on not only for extra leadership to sure us up, but also because I want him fully fit as soon as possible and every minute of football I can give him will hasten his recovery. Winger Darcílio also comes onto the left wing in place of Silvio Cvitanovic, who’s had another off day.

The last of my hope for this match doesn’t quite trickle away entirely until the 57th minute, when Moise Kean drives in from the left wing with the ball at his feet and slides it across the Sevilla box to Coman, who’s in acres of space. Coman shoots from the right hand side of the 6 yard box but Zoet parries it away as far as Darcílio, who turns the rebound against the outside of the left post. It just isn’t going to happen. Coutinho replaces Veiga, just in case the little Brazilian can work his magic.

With 10 minutes of the match to play, we go balls to the wall and hurl everything we have at the home side, but with 2 to play we’re punished for it when Sevilla break up our attack and break on us again. García drifts a cross in from the left, Óliver loops a header over Gigi into the far corner and my good mood of a few days ago is officially fucking ruined. 0-3.

210 2 5 post.png

“It’s a real shame we weren’t in your other timeline, eh?” Grins Bechkoura as we step onto the team bus. “That Kean couldn’t put us ahead and give us a platform at half time.”

“It is a shame,” I concur, “But it’s not Kean’s fault that he couldn’t match his feat from the ‘other timeline’. He’s blameless.”

“Obviously Moise Kean is completely blameless.” Agrees Bechkoura.

“Obviously. To say otherwise would make you a stupid fucking ignorant dick, wouldn’t it. What a stupid fucking ignorant dick thing to say.”

Screenshot 2019-04-03 at 22.24.09.png

210 3 1 league

210 3 2 league

Episode 211 >

Too Faria (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep209)

Jesus, you’re really Mourinho’s man through and through, aren’t you.

Start from the start with episode 1

< Episode 208

209 1 7 duty begins.png

“Alright Rui?” I smile as I run up alongside my England assistant in St George’s car park. “I caught a bit of United’s 4-0 win against Benfica the other-”

“I have a plan, Mr Franjo.” Growls Rui Faria.

“A plan?” I frown. “A plan for what?”

“A plan to take down Josep Guardiola once and for all.” He spits on the floor. “We cannot tolerate the ins-”

“We aren’t playing Spain this break, Rui.” My brow furrows further still. “How do you intend to take him down if we aren’t playing his side?”

“I know a man.” His voice lowers to a whisper and he turns to regard me seriously. “A problem solver of sorts.” I stare back at him silently. “A problem solver”, he continues, “in the sense that if you give him a name of a problem, for example Josep Guardiola…” He pauses to spit on the car park floor once again. “…He will solve the problem for you.” I continue to stare back at him silently. “By which I mean he and his associates will go around to-”

“I get it.” I cut him off, worried that by hearing more of this madness I’ll be somehow implicated in a serious crime by the end of the international break. “No, Rui, that’s fine. Let’s just… Focus on the matter at hand, shall we? Mexico and Austria for now, then next month we’ll get Pep – Stop spitting, you dirty bastard – We’ll get Pep back for beating us. Through our football. I can’t emphasise that enough.” Rui rolls his eyes.

“Suit yourself.” He mutters.

“Jesus, you’re really Mourinho’s man through and through, aren’t you.”

209 1 8 experiment.png

Having sufficiently cooled off since my first match at Wembley and the heartbreaking 4th Spanish goal that beat us, I’m pretty pleased with what I’ve seen so far from England. If nothing else, we’re really excellent going forwards, but I’m hesitant to count on attacking ability alone after how that attitude fared for France. We do need to be more solid at the back, particularly against the top sides, but as much as I absolutely don’t want to throw young centre back Juddy Lokando under the bus, he made a couple of glaring individual errors in the Spain match that lead to goals. I do wonder how much better we’ll be defensively after we’ve played a few matches with Project: Pride and have gotten our mistakes out of the way. Here’s the latest squad for our 2 home games against Mexico and Austria.

Goalkeepers

Jack Butland (Arsenal), Jordan Pickford (Sunderland AFC), Will Mannion (Norwich City)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Defenders

John Stones (Liverpool), Mason Holgate (Southampton), Juddy Lokando (Manchester City), Michael Keane (Real Madrid), Harry Winks (West Bromwich Albion), Trent Alexander-Arnold (Real Sociedad on loan from Liverpool), Luke Shaw (Manchester United), Charlie Taylor (Swansea City)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Midfielders

Eric Dier, Dele Alli (Both Tottenham hotspur), Reece Oxford (Watford), Jordan O’Halloran (Stoke City), Ed Salmon (AFC Bournemouth), Stuart Coleman (Manchester United), Phil Jones (AC Milan), Adam Bell (Leicester City)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Strikers

Oliver Webb (Chelsea), Marcus Rashford (Real Madrid), Joe Bell (Stoke City), Harry Kane (Tottenham Hotspur)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Screenshot 2019-04-01 at 21.42.41

I want to walk a bit of a tightrope here, as I’m still trying to gage which players can cut it for England and which can’t, while simultaneously trying to build a team atmosphere. I do want to give more players a look and our Mexico friendly is a perfect opportunity to experiment, but I don’t want to make wholesale changes. In the end there are 3 differences in personnel in my second squad: Burnley’s Taylor Moore misses out after making his debut against Austria last time as he looked shaky in his first England appearance, understandably so. I’m not ruling him out of future squads though as he’s clearly a top quality defender. He’s even on my shortlist for Paris Saint-Germain as a possibility in case I’m forced to buy a centre back in January, as not only is he a good player but as a Lens youth footballer he’d also count towards our homegrown quota. For now though, Southampton’s Mason Holgate comes into the squad in his place.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Another player to miss out is a surprising one, considering the impact he had against Spain. It really pains me to leave out Lewis Cook, but the midfielder’s decision to leave Bournemouth following their relegation and join Manchester City may stall his international career. Lewis has made a single start and 3 substitute appearances since joining the Citizens and has failed to impress whatsoever during his very limited playing time. In his place I’ve called up the in-form, uncapped Leicester playmaker Adam Bell, who’s already scored 2 goals and set up 6 more for the Foxes in his 9 appearances. As this might cause a bit of confusion, he’ll henceforth be referred to as Abel, while Stoke striker Joe Bell shall be Jobel.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

The final player to be dropped from the England squad is West Ham striker David Crammond, who has recently thrown his toys firmly out of the pram and demanded a move to a bigger side. Barcelona are circling so the move could well materialise, but as a result his club form is woeful this season. He’s scored a single goal in 7 starts for the Hammers and it’s an easy decision to leave him out and bring back England’s fit-again captain Harry Kane.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

209 1 3 squad announced.png

When I said this match would be a prime opportunity to experiment I wasn’t kidding. Mexico are a good side and Javier Torrente has only lost 1 match since taking over in August 2023; A home friendly against Slovakia. Mind you, the majority of the matches his side have played and won have been North American World Cup Qualifiers against the likes of Panama, Costa Rica and Barbados, so they’ve not been given too stern a test.

209 1 12 preview.png

All of that being said however, I’m going to be dishing out quite a few rare international starts today as I continue to get to know my players. Norwich goalkeeper Will Mannion makes his debut in net and although he’s a championship player, the England no.1 shirt could be up for grabs after Jack Butland’s abhorrent display against Spain so I want him to impress me. Former Everton duo Mason Holgate and Michael Keane start in defence with Reece Oxford making his full debut just ahead of them in the holding man role, while Trent Alexander-Arnold and Charlie Taylor take the wingback spots. Another player making his first England start is Bournemouth’s Ed Salmon, who’ll doubtless have to move quickly across the pitch to avoid the daggers his former teammate Lewis Cook will be staring at him through his TV and Ed’s companion in midfield will be Phil Jones, whose defensive skillset and experience should compliment him quite nicely. Abel’s thrown straight in at the deep end in the number 10 role and plays behind a striking partnership of Marcus Rashford and captain Harry Kane. Although our front 2 are very experienced, I haven’t seen them very much in an England shirt as of yet and I’m hoping they’ll be able impress me, especially as they’re lining up against PSG centre back Ricardo Ibarra.

209 1 13 formations.png

Our first good move of the day is 20 minutes in and ends with Abel teeing up Marcus Rashford, who hits a looping volley towards the top corner but is denied at full stretch by Augusto Batalla, who tips the ball onto the bar. A few minutes later Rashford turns creator, holding the ball up 30 yards out and then playing a really clever through ball for Adam Bell, who surges into the right hand side of the box from a central position. The debutant has a pop from a tight angle and beats Batalla, but his effort hits the near post and rolls across the line, leaving Harry Kane with an almost insultingly easy finish to put us into the lead.

We’re pegged back in the 27th minute when Mexico pose their first real threat of the match and win a corner. Pineda takes it, swinging a cross into the 6 yard box and Zaraté gets above Reece Oxford to send a thumping header into the far corner. Unfortunately Abel takes a knock just before half time but I leave him on as he seems willing and… Erm… Able.

It’s worth noting that I’ve been very impressed by Ed Salmon so far, who’s not been as all-action as I expected but has been getting into excellent positions to receive the ball and pulling the strings well from the edge of the final third. 10 minutes after the break, he lays the ball to Trent Alexander-Arnold on the right wing and the Sociedad man swings a superb cross into the “corridor of uncertainty” behind the Mexican defence. Marcus Rashford pops up in between the two centre backs to volley us back into the lead from 6 yards.

A couple of minutes later, TAA gets away down the right again and sends another good cross in, this time right onto the head of Harry Kane, who turns it against the Mexican bar. A quick counter attack later, Mexico are threatening to cancel out our goal even quicker than they did the first time and a Figueroa cross pinballs through the box and reaches Alvarado on the far side. Alvarado shoots towards the near post but Mannion does well to tip it behind for a corner. The pressure stays on us and Pineda again delivers well from the corner. He swings it in, Calero beats Phil Jones at the near post to flick the ball on and Jordan Silva loses his marker Reece Oxford to poke in the equaliser. Oh dear, Reece.

I make a few changes on the hour, with Stones, O’Halloran, Coleman and Alli replacing Holgate, Salmon, Jones and Abel, but they fail to make an immediate impact. It takes us to find the 92nd minute to find the winner, which I’d like to say was a strategic decision so that the Mexicans wouldn’t have any time to instantly hit back for the third pissing time, but I can’t take any credit. Alli can though, as he plays a lovely ball straight through the defence and into the box, where Rashford latches on and leathers a shot in off the underside of the crossbar.

209 1 14 post.png

It’s a difficult one, this. Again I’m in the situation where I’m not exactly happy about conceding 2 goals, but again the source of the goals was a couple of individual errors from one player, namely Oxford. I should stress as well that other than the 2 mistakes, Reece had a pretty decent game. Maybe we just need to work more on corners. Anyway, there were definite positives to take from this one: Real Madrid striker Marcus Rashford is fantastic, although that’s not exactly a revelation, Abel played very well and set up a goal on his debut, inadvertent as it may have been and Trent Alexander-Arnold really, really impressed me, particularly with those 2 crosses in the second half. After he left me quite sceptical of his ability in the Spain match, that’s great news.

209 2 1 debutant bell

209 2 9 pre match

Some pretty disappointing news out of the England camp however is that the Under 21s have been knocked out of their European Championship Qualifying Group and that Aidy Boothroyd has been sacked as a result. To be fair to them, they lost out in their group to Portugal, whose senior side just won the competition months ago, so there’s clearly a really high level of quality running throughout the Portuguese set-up, but it’s still sad to see Aidy go after he’s spent 10 years working his way through the English youth levels.

209 2 3 favourites.png

The final match of the senior team’s international break is against Austria, who we thumped 6-2 at their place in my first match as England manager and who are now making the return journey to Wembley. They’ve just lost to Spain too, so Pep’s side are at the top of Division A Group 3 with maximum points and we really need another win here if we’re to have any hope of keeping up.

209 2 10 preview.png

So leaving nothing to chance, I’m playing what I currently consider to be my maximum strength team… And Jordan Pickford, who has not played for me so far, but like Mannion is now fighting for the no.1 shirt. Stones and Lokando are in defence, Harry Winks and Luke Shaw are our bombing wingbacks, Dier reaches his century of caps as the holding man, O’Halloran and Coleman are in midfield and Alli plays behind Webb and Jobel.

209 2 11 formations.png

If there’s one man who’s impressed me more than anyone else since I accepted the FA’s offer… In fact, he actually started impressing me a few months earlier in the first match of Euro 24, it’s Chelsea’s Ollie Webb. He never stops running, never gives up and is a team player in the truest sense of the word. Coming into this match he’d scored 2 goals and set up another 4 in the 2 appearances he’d made for me and it takes him just 69 seconds here to make it 3 goals in 3. Stood 20 yards out, he runs up and curls a free kick over the Austrian defensive wall and into the top corner of the net. This lad can do fucking everything. When I joined PSG I promised myself that I wouldn’t splash the cash for the sake of it and would only sign a player if a position needed strengthening. I’m happy with my striking options back in Paris, but if Webb keeps playing like this he’s going to seriously test my resolve.

Screenshot 2019-04-01 at 22.07.34

Early goals often promise an oncoming glut that never materialises and indeed the next half hour is quite disappointingly quiet. 10 minutes from the break however we do get another good chance when Jordan O’Halloran plays a lovely backheel pass to Winks on the right wing. Winks drills a low cross in for Webb, whose first shot is saved by Stankovic’s fingertips, but whose second is drilled into the back of the net. I force myself to think of all the goals that Moise Kean and Manuel Bueno have scored so far this season.

Half time comes and goes and we’re soon threatening again. 5 minutes into the second half, O’Halloran lays the ball off for Dele Alli, who drives a first time shot low into the far corner from the edge of the Austrian box. Austria do not have any kind of response as of yet. On the hour I bring on Harry Kane for Jobel, who’s had a quiet match. Despite his goal in the Mexico game, Kane has yet to show me that he deserves a place in our strongest XI, so this is his chance.

In the 83rd minute, Juddy Lokando lofts a cross into the box from the right wing and Webb rises at the near post to head it across goal for Alli, but the Spurs midfielder can only turn it against the post from close range. It’s disappointing from a player of his calibre, but he soon makes amends. As we enter the final 5 minutes and as we continue to hammer on the door for our 4th goal, Captain Kane slips a pass into the box for his Tottenham Teammate, who blasts in his second goal of the day.

209 2 12 post.png

Well that was… Thorough. To be fair, Austria were always going to be the “whipping boy” of the group but I doubt we’ll have a match that easy for quite some time. Still, you can only beat what’s put in front of you and what was put in front of us today was really fucking poor, but it does move us up to 6 points and level with Spain. We stay 2nd in the group because the first thing used to differentiate in the EIL after points is results between teams and they do have a game in hand over us, but in the next break we get to play them again and challenge for the top spot. Let’s just hope we’re ready. And that Rui Faria doesn’t put whatever heinous plan he has into action before I can get my revenge on Pep the old fashioned way.

209 3 0 duty ends

209 3 1 league

Episode 210 >

Franjo’s Heroes (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep208)

Bechkoura’s Bottle Boys are taking a thumping!

Start from the start with episode 1

< Episode 207

“The ball rolls to a stop in front of Kevin on the left wing. What does Kevin do…?” My heart thumps against my ribcage. “He puts in a low cross and the ball falls for Aidir! Aidir surely!” I draw back my trusty forefinger and flick it forwards against the little plastic player, who lurches forward and knocks the ball into the net. “AIDIR SCORES! Franjo’s Heroes FC make it 3-0 and Bechkoura’s Bottle Boys are taking a thumping! Hicham Ai-“

“Can we do it without the commentary?” Asks Bechkoura flatly, picking up his footballers and placing them back into position ready for kick off.

“Yeah absolutely.” I scowl. “And then we can have bacon butties without brown sauce. You idiot.”

“I’m more of a ketchup man.”

“Well then you’re wrong.” I pick up the tiny representation of Hicham Aidir and admire the figure, which is decked out in the PSG 2024/25 home kit. “Did I ever tell you that one of my first ever football shirts was a PSG one?”

“No?” Bechkoura replies. “Which one?”

“95/96 I think. The Opel one with the white collar and the shitty holograms all over it. It might even have been the very first… That or the 95 Everton home shirt.” He nods thoughtfully.

“90’s kits were very… Hit and miss.”

I nod in agreement. “But you could power your house for a year with the static.”

Bechkoura chuckles. “I always liked France’s 97/98 home shirt.” He says wistfully.

“Well I wonder why.” I grin. “I’d like the entire Liverpool catalogue if England won the World Cup wearing it. I’m making a sub by the way: Bart’s coming on for Big Phil. He’s going to slot in between Hurley and Sinbad and add a bit more bite to-“

“They’re all identical.” Growls Bechkoura, struggling to keep the annoyance out of his voice as he cuts me off.

“Oh where’s your fucking sense of whimsey? Come on, it’s your kick off. Again.”

208 1 3 preview.png

Subbuteo aside, I do have a bit of real football to oversee this week. As we’re welcoming Roma for a midweek Champions League Group Stage game in a few days, I’m resting pretty much my entire first team for today’s visit from Bastia. Only Kingsley Coman, the man on fire, plays today having also started in our last match. Abe comes in between the sticks, Triponez is in defence with Damir Mijatovic, who’s making his first appearance for me and the pair have Neves just ahead of them. Our wingbacks are Renan and Dobby, Veiga’s in central midfield and Coman, Hutka and Cvitanovic play behind Manuel Bueno.

208 1 4 formations.png

Our first chance follows some calm Bastian build up play as Renan Henrique wins the ball from Mehmedi deep in our half. He goes direct to Bueno on the half way line, who in turn releases Coman into the space on the right wing. Coman sprints to the byline as bodies get up in support and whip a cross onto the boot of Cvitanovic, who volleys us into the lead.

A few minutes later we win a left sided throw in level with Bastia’s penalty box. Dobby gives it to Cvitanovic, who cushions the ball down for Michal Hutka. Hutka chips it across to Renan, who’s got himself central and into space just outside the box. The ball bounces just once before our Brazilian international puts his laces through it, sending a vicious half volley screaming into the bottom corner for 2-0.

Not content with our 13 minute cushion, we keep pushing for a third over the next few minutes. First we play the ball out from the back and Cvitanovic chips a pass into the left channel for Bueno, who brings it into the box and forces a good near post save from Michaelsen and then another well worked move sees Bueno play a one-two with Cvitanovic to get behind the defence and then toe poke the ball powerfully beyond the Danish keeper to make it 3-0. 17 minutes in, the game’s as good as over and to say this is practically a second string side, I’m pretty bloody impressed.

Coman gets a rest for the second half and I bring on Coutinho in his place, but it’s Miguel Veiga who bags the next goal. 10 minutes after the break, he picks up the ball in our half and surges purposefully across the half way line and towards Bastia’s box. Veiga passes to Bueno, who has his back to goal 20 yards out and he then lays it off for Cvitanovic, who squares for Veiga, who slides a delicate shot into the bottom corner. Éder gets half an hour in place of Neves, but at the end of 90 minutes it’s PSG 4-0 Bastia.

208 1 5 post.png

It’s nice to know that our whole squad is of sufficient quality that I can play the fringe players in situations like this and be confident that they’ll pick up all 3 points. Silvio Cvitanovic, who I’ve been pretty openly unimpressed with thus far, was absolutely excellent but then so was the entire team. I’m completely, utterly, totally pleased with that performance. Donnarumma is the only player that makes the Team of the Week and didn’t feature, while Renan, Mijatovic, Triponez, Coman, Veiga, Cvitanovic and Burno are also included.

208 2 1 totw.png

Kingsley Coman also receives his 2nd Player of the Month award in his 2nd month back at PSG after a quite staggering run of performances. Don’t get me wrong, I’d always rated him for France, but bloody hell he’s gone up to a whole new level this season. Renan Henrique wins Goal of the Month for his scorcher in the Bastia game.

208 2 2 coman potm again!

208 2 3 henrique gotm

We have a bit of potentially bad news in the run up to the Roma match: Mateo Kovacic picks up an ab strain and will miss a couple of weeks. On the upside though, captain Marquinhos should be back at some point this month.

208 2 4 kovacic out.png

208 2 5 miss roma

The new stats on the French National team are out and PSG are joint 2nd with Metz on the list of leading producers of France players with 10. The two of us are just behind Lyon, who’ve produced 12 of Denis Renaud’s current crop. Auxerre are still well represented and are joint 5th with 6 players produced, which is more than Monaco. This makes me happy.

208 2 6 producing nat players.png

Roma’s arrival in Paris sparks fierce excitement among myself and the players. The thing about managing Paris Saint-Germain that I’ve found so far is that it’s difficult to gage exactly how good you are, as the overall quality of the league isn’t all that good. Of course we’ve already lost against Monaco, but I don’t really count that as I didn’t know the players and we didn’t have a proper system. We will meet them again in what will certainly be difficult encounters, but apart from that we’re not going to meet much stern opposition in the league. The Champions League gives us an opportunity to test ourselves against Europe’s elite and I’m eager to find out how we stack up.

208 2 8 preview.png

I’m making 9 changes from the side that thumped Bastia: Donnarumma is back in net, as are Ibarra and Lucas in defence. Neves keeps his place at the base of midfield, but Bologna, Lato and Éder are brought in around him. Coman also keeps his place on the right wing, while Coutinho, Orlando and Kean are restored to the forward line.

208 2 9 formations

The first shots are fired by Roma and there’s a particularly heart-stopping moment 8 minutes in, when Mo Salah swings a nasty cross in from the left. Lucas manages to head it clear but only as far as Embolo, who heads the ball down for Muñoz. The striker turns, places a shot against the base of the post and we can breathe easy. A few minutes later, we have a chance of our own when Orlando crosses from a corner. Again Lucas is there and the Frenchman flicks the ball on at the near post for Ibarra, who nips in between Legrand and Embolo to volley… Straight at Alisson from 6 yards and the keeper parries it clear.

With a quarter of an hour gone we come forward again. This time our Brazilian contingent link when Éder lays the ball off for Coutinho, who slides a wonderful pass down the right for Coman to chase. The winger leaves Legrand for dead and crosses it first time into the 6 yard box, where Kean arrives and smacks a header against the bar.

Before the half hour we go close yet again. Neves wins the ball from Haksabanovic on the edge of our box and gives it to Éder, who plays a long ball forward to Kean. The Italian striker strides forward on the counter as Roma’s defence back-pedal furiously but he arrives at the edge of their box still in possession and drives a low shot inches wide of the far post. How this match is still goalless is beyond me.

When the breakthrough does come, it’s a lovely goal. In the 2nd minute of first half injury time, we win a free kick 35 yards out. Neves takes it, passing short to Ibarra, who plays it straight on for Éder. Éder hands it off to Lato, who chips it straight past Karsdorp on the left wing and Orlando latches on. Orlando squares it into the centre of Roma’s box, Coutinho touches it on for Kean and Moise Kean places it into the bottom corner from 10 yards. Beautiful football.

We head in for the break having scored at the perfect time. Our confidence is suddenly sky high while the atmosphere in the away dressing room will surely have taken a hit. We come back out for the 2nd half with our chests puffed out and soon capitalise on our newfound momentum. 8 minutes after kick off, Éder has possession in our penalty area and is under pressure, but he coolly makes himself some space and arcs a perfect pass up to Kean on the halfway line. The goalscorer chips the ball down the right and Legrand beats Coman to it for once, but severely underhits his header back towards Alisson. As the ball trickles back towards the Roma box, Coman turns on the thrusters, takes possession, jinks past the outrushing Alisson and passes the ball into the empty net.

A few minutes later, Orlando volleys a chipped pass behind the defence for Kean to run onto in the left channel. Kean takes the ball in his stride and sprints into the box but whiffs his shot, dragging it disappointingly wide of the near post. With just over 20 minutes to play, Manuel Veiga replaces Neves and Éder drops into the deeper position, freeing Veiga up to be the box to box man. I liked the look of Veiga against Bastia and want to give him more chances to show me what he can do.

Only a minute later we have yet another chance when Coutinho plays another nice pass down the right wing. Coman leaves poor Legrand in his dust and dribbles into the box before squaring for Kean, who rifles a shot into the top corner from 10 yards to give the scoreline the gloss it deserves. With respect to København this was our first real challenge in the Champions League and we’ve bloody smashed it.

208 2 10 post.png

208 3 3 pre match.png

But as Cage The Elephant once said, “there ain’t no rest for the wicked”. Although they also said that “money don’t grow on trees” and I recently threw £85M at a 20 year old defensive midfielder, so take those lads’ words with a pinch of salt… Where was I? Oh right, no rest for the wicked. The matches keep coming thick and fast and before we know it the weekend is upon us, as is our trip to Sochaux.

208 3 4 preview.png

We’ve now scored 15 goals without reply in our last 4 outings and I want us to carry on both our run of goalscoring and of clean sheets today. My changes for this one aren’t quite as radical as the previous games, with just the 3 personnel changes from the Roma match: Renan, Dobby and young Veiga are all brought in so I can get to know them a little better at the expense of Bologna, Lato and Coutinho.

208 3 5 formations.png

The match doesn’t begin like I expected it to, with Sochaux actually having the best of the first 25 minutes. When I finally decide we need to change something we’ve managed exactly 0 shots against Sochaux’s compact 4-1-4-1 while they’ve had 5. We go on the counter to try and lure them out of their defensive positions so they we can use our pace to exploit any gaps that form. At half time, although we have managed a couple of shots, the score remains 0-0 and Im not happy. I decide to make a change: Moise Kean’s been pretty ineffective so I bring on our big Spanish bully in his place. Manuel Bueno will be a target man that we’ll be able to use as a foothold in Sochaux’s half, giving the rest of the team a chance to get up in support while he holds the ball up.

Just under 4 minutes into the 2nd half, a well worked move through the centre of the pitch ends with Veiga threading a pass through to Bueno, who steps away from his marker Bianchi and slams the ball past Leo Gauthier. Somebody bring me my vindication blanket. With 25 minutes to play, Bueno has a potshot from 25 yards sail harmlessly over the bar and the fact that that is “of note” really is a damning inditement of this cagey, frustrating game of football. Neves is replaced by Triponez a few minutes later, Lucas shifts into the hole and then Bueno goes close again with 5 minutes to go, denied a brace only by a last ditch slide tackle from Gnagnon that deflects his shot wide after Éder heads a Coman cross down into a dangerous position.

Bueno’s tally ends at 1 however, as does ours. He improved us in that second half and I’ll take some comfort from that, but otherwise this is a fairly worrying performance and I really need to work out what went wrong. At the end of the day though, 3 points is 3 points and this win both continues our good form and keeps us above Monaco at the top of Ligue 1 on goal difference. That’ll do.

208 3 6 post

208 4 1 league

Episode 209 >

Back to Auxerre (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep207)

We venture South East to a little old City in Burgundy and a little old stadium called the Stade l’Abbé-Deschamps.

Start from the start with episode 1

< Episode 206

“If you like Claude Makélélé”, I sing, to the tune of Rupert Holmes’ Escape, “And playing Saint-Étienne…” I signal to Bechkoura to continue the melody but he just shrugs.

“I’ve got nothing.” He says apologetically.

“Me neither after that bit.” I admit. “It’s got the makings of a good Saint-Étienne song though, hasn’t it. There’s potential there.” Bechkoura nods.

“Is that the song where the lyrics are about a man trying to cheat on his wife?” He asks.

“Yeah. It’s one of those things that people think are ‘fun facts’ but are actually just common knowledge at this point. He meets up with a woman from the advert and it turns out to be his wife, doesn’t it.” Bechkoura looks puzzled.

“Whose wife?”

“Rupert Holmes; The bloke who wrote the song. Or probably not his wife, but you know… The person whose point of view the lyrics were written from.”

“Claude Makélélé’s?”

“Well no, it’s not originally about Claude bloody Makélélé, is it?” I laugh. “I don’t even know if he’s married.”

“So how did he cheat with Rupert Holmes’ wife?”

“He didn’t!” I stare exasperatedly at my assistant. “Are you alright? Did you fall asleep midway through this conversation or something?” Bechkoura opens his mouth to speak, but closes it again without a sound. He looks like he’s struggling. “Forget it.” I sigh.

207 1 4 preview.png

Makélélé’s men pay us a visit today and it’s fair to say I’ve had a sketchy record against him and his infuriatingly defensive formations during my time in France. We’ve been knocked off our perch and down to 3rd by Monaco and Bordeaux but I’m determined to use our game in hand to thump some goals in and get back to the top of the league.

Our recent extremely disappointing draw against Stade de Reims is still ringing in my ears somewhat, but despite the fact that Claude parks the same 1-2-2-3-2-shaped bus as Reims, I’m not going overboard with changes. After my experimental second string played København midweek, I’m bringing back what I still believe to be my first choice XI for this one and it’s the same side that struggled against Reims, except with Lucas and Éder coming in to replace suspended duo Boris Triponez and Rúben Neves. Manuel Bueno and Silvio Cvitanovic both make the bench despite having picked up knocks in training since my Champions League debut.

207 1 5 formations

Any illusions on the part of Saint-Étienne that they’d be able to keep us at bay and erode our confidence for the first hour like Stade de Reims did last week are quickly blown to smithereens in the 12th minute, when a nice right sided, in-swinging corner from Coman connects with Lucas on the right hand side of the 6 yard box. The centre back does his claims to the first team no harm at all by powering a header past Posavec and giving us a 1-0 lead. Another Coman corner from the other side causes problems 10 minutes later too, this time when Toni Lato jumps to reach the ball but is shoved by Guibert, winning us a penalty. Mateo Kovacic steps up to the spot, gives the keeper the eyes and clips the ball firmly into the bottom left corner for 2-0.

It could be 3-0 just a minute later when we win a free kick just inside Saint-Étienne’s half. Kovacic steps up again and lofts the ball towards the box, Coman flicks it on and Lato’s in the thick of the action once again. The wing back heads the ball goalwards at the near post but this one’s easy for Posavec to catch. Instead, we get our 3rd goal just before the half hour when Éder brings the ball forwards and gives it to Lato, who chips it down the line for Orlando, who picks out who else but Kingsley Coman at the far post with a whipped cross. Coman does what Coman does, tapping us into a three goal cushion with two thirds of the game still to play.

Half time gives me a chance to congratulate the Paris Saint-Germain lads a collective pat on the back for a job well done, as it seems like the second half’s going to be a bit of a formality. Within 5 minutes of the restart though they let me know that we’re not done yet: A patient move around a Saint-Étienne half packed with bodies leads to Coutinho standing with the ball 25 yards out. The Brazilian’s almost instantly surrounded but he coolly squares for Kovacic, who plays a first time pass through the defence for Moise Kean. The Italian continues his fine form with a drilled shot under Posavec to make it 4-0.

“But surely we’ll take our foot off the pedal now”, I naively thought during the 2 minute interval before our next goal. I’ll say this about Saint-Étienne: They don’t seem to learn their lessons. Once again Coutinho’s surrounded, once again he squares for Kovacic, who once again plays the ball through for Kean. This time our striker plays a reverse ball for Orlando on the left, who crosses from the byline and then Philippe Coutinho arrives in the centre to tap in goal number 5.

With 25 minutes to play, Michal Hutka and Silvio Cvitanovic both come on replacing Kovacic and Coutinho, who’ve both had fine games and deserve a break. I’ve not seen that much of Hutka so far and I’ve been underwhelmed by Cvitanovic, so with the pressure well and truly off I want them to impress me. The former goes into the Neves role at the base of our midfield, while Éder steps into Kovacic’s shoes and the latter replaces Coutinho like-for-like.

5 minutes after the change, a bit of complacency might be sneaking in. Toni Lato tries to switch the play but it’s a clumsy attempt and he ends up blasting the ball straight against Éder’s back. The loose ball bobbles towards our box and Saint-Étienne substitute Iturbe takes the opportunity to have a snapshot from the edge of the area, but it’s a simple catch for Donnarumma, who’s had barely anything to do today.

The last action of the game comes from a corner from the visitors though, believe it or not. Initially anyway. Seinaes crosses the ball into our box, Ibarra heads it away and Éder runs it out towards the halfway line. The full Brazilian plays a great ball up the left wing for Kean to chase and he does so, before getting to the byline and floating a cross to the far post. Kingsley Coman arrives but can only hit the post from a narrow angle. That takes me back. 5-0 it finishes.

207 1 6 post.png

207 2 1 unbeaten

That’s exactly what we needed after the Reims match: A clear, comfortable and unambiguous victory to clear our heads. Initially it does lift us back up to the top of the table, but by time Wednesday rolls around, Bordeaux have slapped us back down to 2nd in the early kick off. We’ll be looking to retake the top spot as we venture South East to a little old City in Burgundy and a little old stadium called the Stade l’Abbé-Deschamps.

207 2 4 pre match

If we’d failed to take anything from the Saint-Étienne match, Auxerre would probably be coming into this one thinking we were here for the taking, but as it is they’ll probably be quaking in their boots. Lucas, Ibarra, Lato, Coman, Kovacic and Orlando are all selected for the Team of the Week and if any of them play like they did on Sunday, I’m in for quite a comfortable return.

207 2 2 totw

I really don’t want to be a backseat manager, but I’m wary of Jocelyn Gourvennec’s start to life in Auxerre. He can’t be blamed whatsoever for the club’s early exit from the Europa League Qualifying round as it was me who lead l’AJA to a goalless draw away at Hibernian before caretaker manager Juninho took over for the home leg and oversaw a 0-1 loss. It’s more Jocelyn’s approach to transfers that’s worrying me and here’s why: I like to think that after 3 years at the helm, I can say with some degree of insight that the club cannot compete in the transfer market. Their finances, while greatly improved from where they were a few years ago, are nowhere near strong enough to be able to bring in the type of quality that’s going to immediately improve their squad and they still aren’t of sufficient standing to bring in important quality players from other clubs. Think of my signings while I was there: The Santos 4, who I knew I could swipe from a club who were cash-strapped themselves, Phil Foden, who was frozen out of Manchester City’s reserves, Arturo Vidal and Mamadou Doucouré, who were released by Bayern and Mönchengladbach respectively and Fabien McCarthy and Amine Reynier, who we plucked from South Africa and Ligue 2. Auxerre are a club that need to be self-sufficient for the most part because in the transfer market, they’re feeding off scraps.

That’s why I very rarely actually made signings during my tenure, preferring to blood academy graduates while keeping a consistent core of the squad together. The first indicators for me that things were going to be different under Jocelyn were when he sold both Xavier Lenogue and Celsiney on deadline day. Xavier moved to Marseille as I previously mentioned and Celsiney left for Toulouse. Although I can absolutely sympathise with the club wanting to bring in potentially £7M for a player we spent no money purchasing (Although personally I wouldn’t have cashed in), I cannot for the life of me work out why Celsiney wanted to drop down into Ligue 2 after cementing himself as a Ligue 1 player last season. Seriously, before I left I was fending off interest from Tottenham and Liverpool for the right back and he’s ended up dropping down a division.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

But having said all that, fair enough. Celsiney was unsettled over the Summer and although I don’t agree with his choice of club, that’s nothing to do with Jocelyn. Lenogue’s moved to a bigger club, albeit with not much chance of playing, but fine. Here’s where I get wary: The quality of players that Auxerre ended up bringing in this Summer is just not good. Federico Viviani’s a fine centre midfielder, but he’s 32 and they’ll probably struggle to get 2 good seasons out of him in the position where the club is probably best stocked anyway. Young Iranian winger Hossain Joudaki is pretty much a downgrade on Zoun, Mirko Apollonio is an older definite downgrade on Celsiney, Christopher Jullien is a 31 year old Mike Kakuba and Ajibade Sunday is nowhere near Ligue 1 quality. Youn Czekanowicz, who Auxerre signed from us, is a poor goalkeeper but will be backup to be fair and this is where I have to give Jocelyn his dues. I reckon he’s struck gold with his first choice goalkeeper: 19 year old Iranian international Aziz Mehdizadeh. He might have what it takes to grow into a Ligue 1 player. The rest of them, not so much. Use your academy, Jocelyn.

207 2 3 2 transfers.png

 

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Anyway, that’s my two cents, but obviously Auxerre are no longer my club and their ridiculously frustrating transfer dealings are no longer my problem. As Paris Saint-Germain manager I’m duty-bound to try and rip through my old club like cheap loo roll.

207 2 3 1 aja build up

207 2 5 preview

PSG will go unchanged into this one as I see no reason to tweak the side that just demolished Saint-Étienne. Ruben Neves and Boris Triponez are back from suspension but will have to make do with the bench for now. The side I left only 6 weeks ago are nearly unrecognisable already though, with Isaac Sohna, Mamadou Doucouré, Amine Reynier, Fabien McCarthy, Hicham Aidir and Nathan Andre the only starters from my regime lining up in a 4-4-2. With Captiste on the bench, the home side will be lead out by their big Moroccon centre forward and vice-captain, but Hicham isn’t Auxerre’s main threat. He’s scored just once so far this season while Andre’s bagged 5 goals in 6 appearances. Only Kingsley Coman goes into this match having scored more (6 in 6).

207 2 6 formations.png

The first action of the match comes a quarter of an hour in when Éder passes to Kovacic, who plays it on to Kean, who picks out Coman cutting in off the right flank. Our winger holds off the challenge of Mamadou Doucouré, takes the ball into the box and casually strokes it into the far top corner beyond Mehdizadeh’s reach. Coman v Doucouré did strike me before kickoff as a bit of a mismatch as I never got the impression that the defender was comfortable out wide. Apparently Jocelyn needs to learn that lesson for himself though and just to hammer the point home, we bag a second goal in the 23rd minute. Kovacic spins away from McCarthy and finds Coutinho in space 30 yards from goal. Coutinho plays it inside for Kean, who lays it off for Coman, who loses Doucouré again and buries his 20 yard shot into the same top left corner.

Before the half hour we get another chance when Toni Lato throws the ball in from the left wing level with the Auxerre penalty area. Orlando controls it, holding off Viviani and plays the ball to Kovacic just outside the box. The Croatian chips a lovely first time cross into the 6 yard box and Moise Kean loses his marker Jullien, earning himself a free header… Which he puts just over from 6 yards. 5 minutes later Hicham Aidir’s clattered firmly but fairly by Éder, who launches another PSG attack. There’s probably a metaphor in there somewhere if I think about it enough, but there’s no time. Éder finds his compatriot Orlando, who sprints away down the left, leaving Reynier and Apollonio in his dust. The Brazilian winger pulls the ball back from the byline for Kean, who blasts a shot at goal, but Mehdizadeh does well to tip it over the bar.

From the resulting corner, Kovacic swings a good cross in towards Kean. The Italian leaps for the ball but is dragged down by Apollonio, who… I’m sorry to harp on about it, but he just isn’t bloody good enough. If they had to sell Celsiney, fine, but Issa Samba should be in ahead of… Anyway… Apollonio gifts us a penalty and Kingsley Coman steps up to blast the spot kick into the top right corner, sealing a 37 minute hat trick. A couple of minutes on we’re caught short when Kovacic’s floated pass from a deep free kick is cleared and Auxerre counter through Andre and Aidir, who both stayed forward for the set piece. Andre picks the ball up and takes it past Éder to release Aidir, who times his run well to stay onside and then bursts through on goal completely alone. He reaches the edge of our box and is one-on-one with the outrushing Donnarumma, but his low driven shot is turned behind by the Italian goalkeeper.

We go close to a 4th goal before half time when Orlando’s cross deflects off Reynier and bounces to Coutinho 25 yards out, but the playmaker shoots just wide of the top right corner. At half time my team talk really gives itself but we come back out for the second half to the news that Hicham’s been sacrificed for the hosts and Goujon has come on to try and sure up their midfield, which to be fair seems like a good call but a tad late.

Goujon doesn’t exactly scream “Security” 15 minutes later though, winning the ball off Kean but then smashing his clearance against the striker’s legs, causing the ball to trickle over to Orlando on the edge of the box. The Brazilian shoots weakly with his unfavoured right foot however and it’s an easy catch for Mehdizadeh. A minute later Auxerre try and hit back when Reynier chips a good ball over to McCarthy, who’s in space 25 yards out. The South African slides a pass through for Andre but his shot too is weak and Donnarumma catches it comfortably. Rounding off an intense 5 minute spell, Coman gets the ball on the right wing shortly after and crosses for Moise Kean, who spins around on the edge of the box and shoots straight at Mehdizadeh. Not a fantastic half for quality shots, this.

As the half rumbles on, Gourvennec brings on big Phil Foden and Billy in the hopes that they’ll be able to bring about a comeback or more likely a consolation and I then bring off the booked and shattered Éder, replacing him with Rúben Neves. The last chance comes 5 minutes from time when Kean surges through the centre of the pitch and drives a shot low towards the corner of goal, but again Auxerre’s Iranian goalkeeper pulls off a good save to deny the striker a place on the scoresheet. Aside from a late Cvitanovic cameo, that’s our lot.

207 2 7 post

I’m in high spirits after the match. A 5th win in 6 league games sends us back to the top of Ligue 1 and it’s nice to see the Auxerre players and staff, a few of whom I have a chat with before getting back on the bus to the airport. When I finally do retake my seat next to Bechkoura, I notice that he’s silently looking out of the window. I wonder if he’s still trying to work out who Claude Makélélé cheated on to inspire that fucking song.

207 3 1 league

Episode 208 >

From Ouagadougou to København (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep206)

Here we are some 6 years later.

Start from the start with episode 1

< Episode 205

As I scroll through Bechkoura’s latest email full of player reports, I almost laugh. I cast my mind back to Portugal all those years ago, when I jumped on a plane with Miguel Borba and watched excitedly from the stands as Lassina Touré sat glued to the bench for Burkina Faso for the first time, such was my pride that one of my players was in the squad for an international match. Lassina never had another contract after Angrense and retired from football aged just 27, but for me he stands out as a milestone player in my career.

Screenshot 2019-03-02 at 20.15.48.png

But here we are some 6 years later. Just look at this list Bechkoura’s sent me:

206 1 9 int duty.png

Bloody hell, things like this really make it sink in for me sometimes. Look how far we’ve come from those days. I’m not about to go through the players and their international performances one by one, but I am happy to report that our young right back Renan Henrique made his international debut for Brazil last week, which is of course excellent. Moise Kean and Kingsley Coman also bagged goals for their countries, which I hope will mean that they’re ready to carry on with their good early season form.

206 1 10 build up.png

There may be a bit of a storm brewing here in Paris though and it’s been brewing since the moment the transfer deadline passed. Ricardo Ibarra’s unhappiness with my neglect to strengthen out squad with a centre forward is worrying, especially as I think he’s probably our best player, or there abouts.

206 1 5 ibarra unh.png

I haven’t exactly helped myself with the squad I’ve named for the Champions League, but I refuse to take all the blame for that. Champions League rules state that the squad needs to have a minimum of 4 players trained at PSG for 3 years between the ages of 15 and 21 and 8 players trained in France over the same period. Such is our squad, that has caused a bit of a problem. We only have 4 players who are close to the first team and who meet those criteria: Japanese goalie Yûsuke Abe, who’s been here since the age of 18, Angolan right back Eduardo Costa, who’s also been with us from the age of 18, Kingsley Coman, who came up through the ranks and left at 18 and Argentinian anti-winger Rodolfo Chao, who has also been with us from the age of 18. It speaks volumes about the transfer strategy here in Paris that apart from Kingsley, we only have 3 “home grown” players that are anywhere near the first team and they are all from different nations. Long story short, I had to leave somebody out of my Champions League squad. After inevitably ditching several young attacking midfielders I weighed up the amount of cover we have in different areas against the likelihood that certain players will actually play and Bulgarian left back Dobby was the man sacrificed. Like Ibarra, he isn’t too happy with me at the minute. Luckily unlike Ibarra, Marquinhos manages to talk him round for me.

206 1 1 cl register.png

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

206 1 2 dobby unh

206 1 3 good lad skipper

Anyway, we have a chance today to put that headache to one side by demolishing newly promoted Stade de Reims. I’ve not met them since our Ligue 2 days when I seem to remember them being extremely unlucky to miss out on promotion themselves, but without wanting to temp fate, they’ve lost their opening 3 matches against Metz, Lyon and Lorient and we should be sweeping them aside.

206 1 12 preview.png

There’s extra incentive for us in this one because Monaco were held to a draw yesterday by Stade Rennais. A win for us would lift us 2 points clear at the top. We go unchanged from the side that beat Marseille: Donnarumma in net, Ibarra and Triponez at the back, Bologna, Nevez and Lato behind Kovacic in midfield and Coman, Coutinho and Orlando behind Kean. Stade de Reims are actually following in Marseille’s example by absolutely flooding the centre of the park in the hopes of keeping us at bay, so we’ll exploit the flanks where they’re lighter in personnel.

206 1 13 formations.png

If I’m honest, at the start of the match I don’t expect the first hour to be goalless or eventless, but that’s exactly what it is. Jakupovic has a potshot that flies over the bar, but other than that, Reims don’t threaten us and keep us at bay. Disappointed, I decide to mix things up with a triple substitution and a subtle formation change to a 2-3-3-2. Kovacic’s box to box position is the one to be sacrificed as Manuel Bueno comes on as a second striker in a target man role in his place. Cvitanovic comes on for Orlando on the left, while Éder replaces Neves in a supporting ball winner role to still give us energy in the middle.

We go close shortly after when Kingsley Coman’s left sided corner is cleared as far as Coutinho, who hits a dipping drive at goal from 25 yards, but Cucchietti does well to push the ball over the bar. With under 20 minutes to go we threaten again from the left, this time when Coutinho lays the ball off for Cvitanovic, who whips a diagonal cross into the box. Coman arrives at the far post to tap the ball over the line. It’s becoming a habit of his, which is absolutely fine with me.

With our new found dominance I’m confident of now seeing the game out, but when Manuel Bueno balloons a speculative 30 yard shot so high and wide that it could very easily wind up smashing one of the Grand Louvre Pyramids, it deflates us somewhat. Sure enough our confidence dissipates and within 5 minutes we’re pegged back when Callegari passes the ball around Ibarra and Cassetta powers an effort beyond Donnarumma from 6 yards out. The most frightening part for me though is watching helplessly as Reims win the ball back from kick off and attack again. Cassetta gives Éder the slip and lays it across for Maxime Lopez, the lad who I handed a debut for the National side while he was in Ligue 2 and who really impressed, but failed to ever get back into my squad. Max passes to Vale, who holds off Triponez as he turns and then drives a low shot from the edge of the box. The ball squeezes out of Donnarumma’s grasp at the near post and after leading in the 78th minute, we’re behind in the 80th. To newly promoted Stade de Reims.

We go on the attack for the last 10 minutes, but fail to find an equaliser. We do get one last chance deep into injury time though when Éder wins the ball from Vale and plays it forward. Cardoso fluffs his attempted clearance, allowing Coutinho to take possession on the left and the Brazilian swings the ball into the centre for Bueno, who volleys deftly past Cucchietti to get us a point. In another situation, this would be a cause for joyous celebration; A draw snatched from the jaws of defeat would’ve shook the foundations of the Stade l’Abbé-Deschamps. Here and now though, I’ve just dodged a bullet. Here in Paris, a defeat at the hands of Stade de Reims would have been unacceptable. A draw is probably unacceptable but given the context, I’ll take it. Improvement is needed though, that’s for sure.

206 1 14 post.png

206 2 4 pre match.png

So call me crazy, as Bechkoura does on our flight over to København, but I reckon that my biggest problem here at the minute is that I don’t know my squad. I’m rapidly getting to know my “First choice XI”, but outside them I don’t know where everyone else stands in the pecking order. Maybe if I’d known my fringe players better by now, I would’ve made better decisions and better substitutes and would not have dropped points against Reims. I feel a little dirty for suggesting this, but I think my Champions League debut is as good a time as any to experiment. I’d rather it wasn’t, but consider my reasoning: The first Champions League match of the season is a big deal, so it’s not as if I’ll be looking over the lesser known players in a meaningless friendly match, but as the weakest side in our group, København should be beatable no matter which players I start, within reason. It’ll also do the lads who played against Reims good to have a midweek break, so everybody wins. Except for København. Hopefully.

206 1 4 cl odds

206 2 1 kobenhavn build up

As I mentioned when the draw was made, Anders Lindegaard’s men will not be looking forward to another Group Stage with PSG. Their apparent danger man is 34 year old Paris old boy and København captain Grzegorz Krychowiak, so with that in mind, nothing but a win will do. I’m suddenly second guessing my decision to experiment.

206 2 2 main krychowiak

206 2 3 krychowiak

206 2 5 preview

But experimenting is exactly what we’re doing today at the Telia Parken. Against a full strength, in-form side of Danish Champions, our starting line up is: In-demand Japanese giant Yûsuke Abe in net, Boris Triponez and Lucas in defence with Rúben Neves sitting in front of them, Renan Henrique and Toni Lato as the wing backs, Éder playing the box-to-box role and Rui Darcílio, Miguel Veiga and Silvio Cvitanovic behind Manuel Bueno. I should note that I’ve not rotated the squad fully as I want to give Lucas, the only other player that can play as a left wing back, a chance in defence, so Lato keeps his spot on the left. Also Triponez and Neves both picked up bookings in the Reims match and will be suspended for our league game against Saint-Étienne, so they may as well feature now before their enforced rest.

206 2 6 formations.png

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

My Champions League bow gets under way and nearly gets off to an awful start when Ricardo Kishna plays a pass into the left channel for Olaf de Vrij. De Vrij runs onto the pass and fizzes a shot just wide of our near post. A few minutes later the action’s down the other end of the pitch when Toni Lato plays the ball to Manuel Bueno on the edge of the København box. Bueno lays it off for Veiga to his left and the Spanish playmaker slots a lovely pass to the right for wing back Henrique to run onto. The Brazilian thumps a shot straight at Radu, but the keeper can only parry the ball into his own net. 10 minutes in and we’re ahead.

A few minutes after the opener, we double our advantage. Neves sprays a half-volleyed pass over to Darcílio on the right, who takes on Varela on the outside and whips a cross to the near post. Target man Bueno arrives to direct the ball across goal and into the far corner of the net. We’re nearly pegged back in the 18th minute as Kishna holds off Éder and dribbles down the left wing dangerously. He gets to the byline and crosses the ball into the 6 yard box for de Vrij, who forces an excellent parried save from Abe and then smashes the rebound against the far post.

As the game continues to go from end to end though, we nearly make it 3-0 a minute later when Cvitanovic threads a pass into the box for Bueno, but his shot is well blocked by Radu. In the 22nd minute, Gonçalves gets the ball on the right wing for the hosts following their corner and sends a low cross into the box. This time Baranek is the target and he shoots from 8 yards, but Lucas does well to get himself in the way of the defender’s effort and deflect the ball wide. The resulting corner is headed clear by Éder at the near post and we counter attack, with Cvitanovic taking the ball down the left and playing a long ball forwards for Bueno. Bueno turns Strand to get himself into space in the København penalty box and then fires a shot off, but Radu saves it. It’s pretty miraculous that there’s only been 2 goals in this match so far.

Obviously I spoke too soon. In the 26th minute, Cassingena plays a clever reversal through our defence for Kishna, who shoots against the near post from inside the box. With Donnarumma beaten, the ball bobbles across the mouth of the goal and Olaf de Vrij arrives to tap in the home side’s first goal. Just a few minutes later though we restore our 2 goal cushion when another København corner is cleared by Lato at the far post. This time Bueno brings the ball out of danger and into the opposition’s half before leaving Varela for dead and chipping a nice pass into the path of Veiga, who brings the ball down inside the box and slots it into the bottom corner.

On the half hour, Cassingena again causes us problems with a one-two with Gonçalves that gets him into space in our box, but the angle’s too narrow on the right hand side once he gets back on the ball and he can only shoot against the near post. The next 15 minutes are thankfully much quieter than the preceding 30 and neither side threatens again until injury time, when Bueno charges down the right, dances past Baranek’s slide tackle with surprising agility and plays the ball inside. Darcílio arrives 8 yards from goal and side-foots a shot against the near post. When the referee blows his whistle to signal the end of the first half, I almost collapse. I don’t know about the players but I already feel knackered.

I make a change at half time as Silvio Cvitanovic took a knock to the head just before the break and with our 3-1 advantage and so much quality on the bench, I see no reason to risk him. Argentinian anti-winger Rodolfo Chao replaces the German captain and moves onto the right wing, while Darcílio will swap to the left.

Screenshot 2019-03-09 at 13.17.27

I brace myself for another heart-stopping 45 minutes of football and it certainly looks like it’s going that way when only 15 seconds after the restart de Vrij powers a shot at goal, but Abe manages to tip it away. The second half isn’t actually nearly as hectic as the first and the next chance comes in the 63rd minute when Kishna skips outside Henrique on the left wing and whips a cross into the box. De Vrij beats Triponez in the air and heads the ball straight into the arms of Abe, but less than a minute later he gets on the end of yet another Kishna cross, this time getting ahead of Triponez and volleying the ball in for 3-2.

Fortunately, it doesn’t seem like København have much left in the tank. In the 83rd minute, Bueno also takes a knock to the head and is replaced by Moise Kean and then with a few minutes to go Coutinho replaces Darcílio as we shuffle to a defensive 4-1-4-1. Gonçalves gets in a good position and drags a shot well wide just to jangle my nerves in the dying moments, but when the referee calls time on an extremely even but eventful match, our 3-2 lead is intact.

206 2 7 post

Could it have been more comfortable? Of course. Should it have been? Well… Yes. But let’s look at it logically: While 6 years ago I sat in the Stade du 4 Août in Ouagadougou as a Portuguese Championship manager, watching my first international player warm the bench, today in København I am off the mark in the bloody Champions League and I’ve arrived with a win. I know my new Paris Saint-Germain squad a little more than I did yesterday and early as it is, we’re at the top of 2 leagues. I’m more than happy with all that for a day’s work.

206 3 1 league

Screenshot 2019-03-09 at 13.20.34

Episode 207 >

The Impossible Job (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep205)

All the while, I dreamt of this.

Start from the start with episode 1

< Mini-sode 204.5

205 1 10 first game205 1 11 first game 2

I haven’t stopped smiling this morning. From the moment I woke up and got out of bed, to the moment I stepped out of the hotel and onto the coach, right through to now: The moment I stand on the touchline of the Ernst-Happel Stadion, ready to oversee my first match as England manager. It made eating my breakfast a pain in the arse, but I don’t care. I’ve no reason to stop smiling today. I’ve dreamt of this. As a 7 year old lad, watching Michael Owen lift his shot over Carlos Roa, I dreamt of this. At 10 years old, watching David Beckham curl the perfect free kick out of the reach of Antonios Nikopolidis, I dreamt of this. As a lad of 11, as Ronaldinho’s free kick arced beautifully over David Seaman, at 12, as Sol Campbell’s bundled goal was ruled out against Portugal and at 18, as Frank Lampard’s thunder bastard crashed a long, long, long way over Manuel Neuer’s line, only to be chalked off. All the while, I dreamt of this: The chance to lead my country out onto the turf and have my shot at the impossible job.

205 1 12 build up.png

If there’s one thing I’ve learned down the years as an England fan, it’s that you need to be fair in this job. You can’t just pick the 11 most high profile players and cram them onto a pitch higgledy piggledy. No, only the most infuriatingly clueless of Italians would do that. You need to play the footballers who deserve the chance and you need to build a team. A proper one. A team that have chemistry and that can actually gel with each other. I’m not the first to cotton onto this idea either. Eddie Howe, despite his sacking a few months ago, had more success relatively than any England manager since Alf Ramsey and he did it by picking a team of good footballers that deserved their chance. Not necessarily the most flashy ones, but the ones that fitted best into the system and the team.

205 1 14 more build up.png

With this in mind, I should mention that there is a teeny tiny snafu going into our first couple of European International League Division A matches and that is that some of the senior players that I’ve picked are worried that I’ve gone too far in the other direction. The likes of Eric Dier and John Stones have come to me for a private word about the fact that I’ve chosen a relatively inexperienced maiden squad and it’s a fair point. Will Mannion, Taylor Moore, Reece Oxford, Jordan O’Halloran and Ed Salmon are all uncapped, while the likes of Charlie Taylor, Trent Alexander-Arnold, Stuart Coleman, Harry Winks, Juddy Lokando, Jordan Pickford, Lewis Cook, David Crammond and Joe Bell all have 20 caps or under to their name. Mannion and Salmon both play in the Championship too and it’s generally frowned upon to select players from below the top tier. Let’s never forget Jay Bothroyd.

205 1 6 butland in205 1 7 henderson out205 1 8 jones and bell in205 1 13 confident in ohalloran

But as you’ll hopefully have gleaned from my pretty in-depth talk about squad selection, this isn’t something I’ve taken lightly. I’ve chosen players based on their skillset, their form, their future international prospects and their ability to fit into a system that I believe will get the best out of our best players. Maybe the senior players are right to some extent. Maybe I’ve leaned slightly towards youth and potential more than I would have, having just been sacked from my position as French manager in which I really struggled to bring any youth through at all. Even so though, I genuinely reckon each of these players can play a part for these matches and going forwards.

205 1 16 preview.png

In our first match away at Austria and in the debut appearance of Project: Pride, Butland starts in net, Stones and Lokando are in defence with Dier in the hole, Winks and Shaw are the wing backs, O’Halloran makes his debut alongside Coleman in midfield and Alli plays just off Webb and Bell at the front. In the absence of Harry Kane, our injured captain, vice-captain John Stones has the armband.

205 1 17 formations

We start off looking pretty solid. 12 minutes in, Grillitsch comes forwards through the centre of the park but he runs into a brick wall named Stuart Coleman, so has to try to switch the ball out onto the left wing instead. His pass towards Sabitzer is decent, but Harry Winks cuts it out and passes to Ollie Webb on the half way line. Webb looks up and bends a great pass through the Austrian defence for Bell to run onto, which he does. Joe Bell runs through on goal on his first international appearance in over a year with the ball at his feet. Strebinger rushes out to great him… But Bell slips it under the keeper and into the net to give us the lead. Good lad, Joe.

Our lead doesn’t last too long though. Only 5 minutes after Bell’s opener, Schaub swings a corner into the centre of our box and Stones rises to meet it, heading it clear as far as Sabitzer 30 yards out. Sabitzer brings the ball down and plays it back out to Schaub, who whips another ball in from the byline. This time Seidel arrives at the near post to volley Austria level. We go close to retaking the lead before the break when Webb picks up the ball 35 yards out, dribbles to the edge of the box and shoots left footed, but he drags it just wide of the near post.

A few minutes after the break, Dele Alli gets the ball just inside Austria’s half and plays a give and go with Webb, who turns on the thrusters and sprints out to the right byline. Webb gets a low cross in and Alli arrives right on cue, stroking the ball past Strebinger from 10 yards out to make it 2-1. The goal settles us down a bit and we have a decent spell of possession over the next 7 or 8 minutes.

Coleman passes to Bell 25 yards out in the 54th minute and Bell plays a clever reverse ball through to Webb, who latches onto it 10 yards from goal but shoots straight at Strebinger, who parries it clear onto the right wing. Webb shows fantastic determination though and races straight over to collect the loose ball before laying it back for Harry Winks, who drifts a cross in towards the edge of the box. Coleman does well to rise above both Laimer and Arase to win the header, flicking it on for Alli inside the box, who nods the ball softly over the outrushing Strebinger, sending it bobbling slowly towards goal and over the line for 3-1.

Right after kick off we go close yet again when Stones plays the ball to Coleman just inside our half, who chips it forward for Joe Bell. Bell nods the ball on into the path of Webb, who turns Lienhart inside out with his quick footwork and then shoots left footed from the edge of the box, but it’s an easy catch for Strebinger.

Pretty confident that we’ll see this out, I make all 3 of my substitutes on the hour and bring on 3 debutants. Burnley centre back Taylor Moore comes on for Juddy Lokando, Watford defender Reece Oxford comes on for Eric Dier and Bournemouth’s Ed Salmon replaces Jordan O’Halloran; All like for like. 5 minutes later I’m delighted to see us put a great move together and 2 of the subs are involved too. Wimmer’s hoofed ball is cut out by Oxford, who cushions the ball down with his head for Alli, 35 yards from goal. Alli touches it off for Coleman, who squares to Salmon, who plays a great first time ball into Webb’s path, splitting the defence. Webb shoots first time and hits the near post, but the ball bounces across goal and with Strebinger already beaten, Joe Bell stabs our 4th goal into the empty net from 6 yards.

With 20 minutes to play, Arase attempts to dribble down the right wing but is dispossessed by Luke Shaw, who then plays an excellent pass into the left channel for Bell to chase. Bell just manages to win the footrace with Lienhart and controls the ball inside the box as Strebinger rushes out once again to narrow the angle. He could attempt his hat trick goal, but Bell unselfishly lays the ball off to his right, giving Ollie Webb an open goal to aim at from the penalty spot. Webb blasts it… Off the underside of the bar and Wimmer clears. He’s had a bad day with his shooting so far, Webb, but I’m not disheartened. We’ve looked excellent going forwards and he’s been a big part of that. Thomas Murg takes the ball down deep in his own half and initially leaves Winks in his dust, turning him and sprinting down the flank. In the space of only a few seconds though, Winks vindicates my decision to select him as a right wing back with an absolutely gut-busting run to catch up with Murg just as he’s about to be level with our box. Winks gets level and executes a perfect crunching slide tackle to knock the ball out for a throw. The travelling fans sound their appreciation for the West Brom man. We’re going to get on fine, Harry.

5 minutes later, my team give me an example of my new system working absolutely perfectly. Austria have a left-sided throw in deep into our half and the ball’s thrown to Schaub, who’s quickly dispossessed by Ed Salmon. Salmon lays it off to Reece Oxford, who plays the ball down the line where Winks is running into space. Winks plays it inside for Alli, who exchanges passes with Coleman and then Webb, who runs it forward through midfield. 20 yards out, he lays the ball back to Joe Bell, who picks out Luke Shaw sprinting into the left hand side of the box. Shaw latches on, cuts the ball across and Alli arrives late in the box to place it firmly into the top corner from 8 yards to complete his hat trick. Absolutely excellent football. A scorching 9 pass move from one end of the pitch to the other and we’re 5-1 up.

In the 80th minute, yet another good spell of possession sees Luke Shaw find Dele Alli on the left hand side of the box. Alli chips it to the edge of the area for Webb, who Di Canio-volleys it into the bottom left corner. 6-1. Suffice to say this is a better England debut than I could’ve hoped for.

Austria have a late surge of action and do get a second goal when Arase takes on Shaw on the right wing and crosses to the near post, where Seidel arrives again to stab it home. I’m a little disappointed as the striker got ahead of Taylor Moore to meet the cross and that’s the first time the debutant centre back’s been tested today, but I won’t hold it against him for now. Arase gets away from Shaw again in the 90th minute, wriggling free in the penalty box and shooting tamely at Butland, but the Arsenal keeper catches it comfortably.

205 1 18 post.png

205 2 3 salmon debut.png

I reckon I can afford to be quite smug after that. We had solid performances all over the park, some decent debuts, Winks was good on the right and Coleman absolutely dominated in his new midfield position. The front 3 were electric and even though Webb probably could’ve completed a hat trick of his own, his primary job up front is to be the supporting striker and he did set up 3 goals and eventually bag one for himself, so I can’t complain at all. Alli was exemplary and Joe Bell looked like a man who’d never been out of the international scene. Project: Pride is a roaring success.

205 2 7 pre match.png

I won’t be the smuggest man at Wembley though. No, that will be my opposite number and Paris Saint-Germain predecessor, Pep Guardiola.

205 2 6 pep pity.png

Don’t you pity me, you git. “He’s far too good a manager for [The fact that I’ve never beaten him] to mean anything” he croons to the press ahead of the match. I’m onto you, Josep. Nobody’s this nice, especially in football management. Our paths have crossed 5 times now: A friendly defeat before my season in Ligue 2 with Auxerre, which we were actually pretty unlucky to lose, 3 Ligue 1 defeats and a 1-1 Ligue 1 draw in one of the only recorded cases of Project: Sword working as a system. The thing that makes this all the more interesting though is that my France side beat Marcelino’s Spain 6-2 just over 2 months ago. Can my “lesser” England side have similar success against a Spanish side under a better manager? We’d fucking better do, because I’m way overdue for a win against this bastard. With his mind games. As it stands, we’re top of Division A Group 3 and I intend to stay there.

205 2 8 preview.png

The only change I’m making for this match is that Harry Winks drops out to be replaced by Trent Alexander-Arnold at right wing back. Winks was knackered coming into the break and 90 minutes bombing up and down the wing hasn’t helped the situation, so I don’t think he’ll have the energy to do a job here. My former striker Álvaro Morata leads the line for our opponents, with one of PSG’s many attacking midfield playmakers, Miguel Veiga, behind him. Thanks again, Pep. Veiga will need to find a balance today because he’ll obviously want to impress his new manager, but then if he performs too well he could find himself spending the next 8 months polishing my boots.

205 2 9 formations.png

“Ladies and gentlemen, please show your appreciation for the new head coach of the England Men’s Football Team, WT Franjo!”

The appreciation hits me like a smack in the face. The full dose of my first Wembley reception is shot straight into my bloodstream and the side effects include euphoria and paralysis. I’ve loved all of my clubs… Well, I’ve loved some of my clubs. I’ll forever be a fan of Angrense, Santos and Auxerre and even Höllviken holds a weird little corner of my heart, but I came into each of those places as an outsider and grew to love them over time. Now, for the first time, I’m greeted by my people. My countrymen. The men, women and children who I grew up alongisde and then stood and fought against in June when we met in Group D. The people I stole a result against on that day. For the first time, I’m back where I belong. And the noise is deafening.

The first half hour is tight and a bit scrappy as the sides figure each other out. In the 29th minute we come forward on the attack through Ollie Webb on the right wing. Webb gets level with the box and gets a cross in, but it’s cut out and Spain hit us on the counter. The ball’s played out to Iñaki Williams on the right, who strides down the line and lays it off for Hector Bellerin. Bellerin whips a cross in for Veiga in the box, who plays a cheeky backheel to find Morata all on his own on the penalty spot. The striker places the ball into the top corner to put Pep’s men ahead, before giving me a smile and a thumbs up as he makes his way back to prepare for kick off. Dickhead.

A few minutes later, the shit really hits the fan when a long, hopeful ball over the top from Zabalza is brought down by Lokando, but the City man’s first touch is poor and Morata nips in to steal possession. He bursts away from Lokando, runs through on goal and blasts the ball under Jack Butland for 0-2. This time, Álvarsehole runs over to the away dugout and attempts to celebrate with Pep, but after a sheepish smile, Pep shoos him away and turns to give me a sympathetic look.

After a less than ideal start though, we do seem to get up and running in the next few minutes. Ollie Webb has the ball on the halfway line and plays a beautiful diagonal pass to release Bell behind the defence. Bell gets to the left byline and pulls the ball back to the edge of the 6 yard box, where Coleman arrives and shoots… Against the far post.

With 3 minutes to go before the break, we come forward again. This time it’s a great pass from Joe Bell that sends Alli chasing through the left channel. Alli runs though on goal and pokes a shot towards the near post, but De Gea tips it wide for a corner. Webb runs over to take it and drifts a cross into the box. Of all people, it’s Luke Shaw that wins the aerial battle and cushions the ball down for Joe Bell, who smashes a volley against the bar.

To be fair, we’re not down and out yet and I tell the players as much in my half time team talk. We’ve given as good as we’ve got in a very even first half. On another day Lokando takes a better touch and both of our shots that hit the woodwork creep into the net, giving us the lead, so I’m not too unhappy. The only major worries I have are that Morata found himself unmarked for the first goal and that our squad is pretty tired. I make a couple of changes for the second half, with Phil Joes and Lewis Cook coming on to replace Stu Coleman and Dele Alli, who are looking particularly leggy.

The introduction of Cook makes a big difference in the opening few minutes of the second half. First he receives the ball from a flicked Joe Bell header and controls it 35 yards out, before surging away from Pablo, around Zabalza and into the box. He gets one on one and shoots low and hard, but De Gea manages to tip the effort around the near post. Less than a minute later again though Cook gets the ball from Bell again and dribbles forward once more. This time he gets to the edge of the box and lays it off for Ollie Webb, who does not think twice. Webb draws back his right foot and rifles it first time into the bottom corner. Good lad.

Before even 5 minutes of the second period have passed, we come forward again. Luke Shaw receives the ball deep in our half and powers down the left wing, leaving Bellerin, Pablo and Veiga all struggling to keep up. Shaw gets to the left byline, whips a cross in and Joe Bell rises at the near post to glance a header into the net. Fuck me, it’s 2-2.

The match does settle back down after the equaliser but not for too long. A few minutes after the hour, we come marching into Spain’s half once more, this time with Joe Bell, who passes to O’Halloran. O’Halloran plays it on for Ollie Webb on the edge of the box and the striker hits it first time… Off the far post. Lewis Cook darts in to latch onto the rebound but Bueno Prieto manages to clear it off the tips of his toes.

A minute later Spain finally reply through a long ball from Morata on the half way line, into space on the left wing where Trent Alexander-Arnold is struggling to get back. Spain’s left winger Vélez brings the ball down, dribbles into the box unopposed and chips his shot past the outrushing Butland to give his side back the lead. 5 minutes after that we go close to another equaliser when Cook plays a long ball over the top for Webb to run onto, but De Gea rushes out well to block his shot. I decide to bring Alexander-Arnold off as he’s left us looking vulnerable a couple of times now. Michael Keane comes on, with John Stones switching to wing back.

BAM! That does it. Just 3 minutes after the change, Stones plays a pass down the line for Ollie Webb, who drills a cross in from the right byline. Lewis Cook arrives right on time at the near post to deservedly tuck in his first England goal and level the scores once again. I tell the wing backs not to venture up as much for the remaining 17 minutes as if anywhere, that’s where Spain have the potential to catch us. With only a few minutes to play, we could have a 4th goal when Cook presses Saúl into losing the ball and Webb takes over, bringing it forwards into the box. His shot at goal is weak though and gathered easily by De Gea.

With time ticking down, I take a moment to really breathe in the atmosphere. The noise around Wembley is good. The fans are in good voice, everyone seems pretty happy with what they’ve seen and those sodding drums are echoing around the stadium. I think I’ll go away from my Wembley debut pretty happy, all things cons… In the 92nd minute, De Gea hoofs the ball forward. Juddy Lokando rises and heads the ball back the way it came, but his header goes straight to Abraham Pérez, who chips it around the centre back for Morata to run onto. Lokando scrambles as Morata powers down the right wing. He gets to the byline. He drills in a cross… And Vélez taps in the winner from point blank range.

205 2 10 post

Vélez runs full pelt towards the travelling fans and slides on his chest across the turf, before his team mates pile on. The atmosphere around the stadium probably changes pretty dramatically, but in the moment I fail to really notice. I stand rooted to the spot, staring blankly across the turf once again. After a moment I feel a hand on my back and Pep Guardiola appears in front of me, pulling me into a hug and ruffling my hair, before pulling away from me once again. He looks straight into my eyes. He’s smiling, but it isn’t the same sympathetic smile from before. It’s one of genuine happiness. Possibly relief?

“Welcome home.” He says. I see something flash across his eyes, but before I can process it, he’s disappeared. I turn and watch as he strides towards the tunnel. He catches up with Álvaro Morata, wraps an arm around the striker’s shoulder and starts talking excitedly in Spanish.

I’ll remember this. I promise I’ll remember that you ruined my homecoming. The score is Franjo 0-5 Pep, but the gap will not reach 6. Enough is enough now, Josep. You just made my list.

205 3 1 cook goal

205 3 2 league

Episode 206 >

Project: Pride (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Mini-sode 204.5)

We’ll defend as a pride and we’ll attack as a pride. 

Start from the start with episode 1

< Episode 204

“You cant, Boss.” Bechkoura pleads. “Not again. Do you not learn your lessons?”

“The only lesson I’ve learned in the past few months, mate” I rebuke, feeling myself turn slightly red, “Is that apparently I’m the only person in World Football who gives even the faintest toss about bringing through defensive midfielders. If I have to raise the next generation of Makélélés, Kantés and Carlseys single handedly, then that’s exactly what I’ll do.”

“But it didn’t work with Marquinhos! How the fuck is it going to work with Stuart Coleman?!”

Some explanation may be needed here. Let me introduce my very first England squad. God, that feels good to write.

Goalkeepers

Jack Butland (Arsenal), Jordan Pickford (Sunderland AFC), Will Mannion (Norwich City)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Defenders

John Stones (Liverpool), Juddy Lokando (Manchester City), Michael Keane (Real Madrid), Taylor Moore (Burnley), Harry Winks* (West Brom), Trent Alexander-Arnold (Real Sociedad on loan from Liverpool), Luke Shaw (Manchester United), Charlie Taylor (Swansea City)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Midfielders

Eric Dier, Dele Alli (Both Tottenham Hotspur), Reece Oxford (Watford), Jordan O’Halloran (Stoke City), Stuart Coleman* (Manchester United), Ed Salmon (AFC Bournemouth), Phil Jones (AC Milan), Lewis Cook (Manchester City)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Strikers

Oliver Webb (Chelsea), Joe Bell (Stoke City), David Crammond (West Ham United), Marcus Rashford (Real Madrid)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

* Players are not actually proficient in the positions that they’re listed under, but that’s where I’ll be playing them.

205 1 4 squad.png

205 1 5 squad announced.png

It’s been yet another head scratcher for me, this. Just like when I arrived at Paris Saint-Germain, it’s been a real puzzle working out how I want England to play, how they’re suited to playing and how I can get all of the pieces to fit together. But after many a ripped up sheet of paper, I’ve come up with Project: Pride.

Screenshot 2019-02-25 at 13.39.57

I came to the conclusion that with the massive amounts of pace that England have going forwards, I want us to play on the counter attack wherever possible, battling and chasing together, much like a pride of lions, to win the ball back before launching lightning fast counters through our attackers. I also knew that I wanted Eric Dier sitting in front of the centre backs to become an auxiliary 3rd centre back if needed, as he’s one of our best players and I believe that it’s the position that suits him best. With that decision came my first problem. If Dier’s sat in front of the defenders, we need wing backs. There’s no point in having 5 defensively minded players across the back as it’ll leave us light going forwards.

The Right Wing Back Problem

So we need someone who can come back and defend, but is just as good going forwards. Mentally strong, physically impressive and technically skilled. At the right wing back position, this proved a huge problem. These are the players who fit the bill:

Screenshot 2019-02-25 at 12.47.19.png

As you’ll notice, barely any of the players who have the right attributes for the gig are right wing backs. One of them’s Scottish. Of the 14 who more or less suit what I’m looking for, 4 can play on the right hand side of defence in some capacity: Southampton’s Mason Holgate, as fine a player as he is, is not a wing back. He’s a good Premier League centre back but can’t cross for toffee, so he’s out. Trent Alexander-Arnold is good and made the squad, although to be honest I’m not blown away. He doesn’t scream “England’s starting wing back” to me. Brentford’s Ryan Woods is decent. He’s a good Championship midfielder who’s been known to play on the right of defence, but he’s slow off the mark and doesn’t excel in any area. He’s also never played above Championship level. Finally, Middlesborough’s Sam Byram, who just barely scrapes through into my criteria. He’s very average in all of the areas I need and isn’t all that mentally strong, so he won’t do. I actually considered using Dele Alli as my right wing back. I genuinely did. Do you know how frustrated a man has to be to consider deploying Dele Alli as a right wing back? He’d be wasted there, but luckily there is a man who fits the bill.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

So that’s how I’ve landed on West Brom’s Harry Winks as England’s right wing back. Obviously that might change, but I reckon he can do a job. He’s pretty rounded in all of the areas I need and although he’s never played as a wing back, I see no reason why he won’t be capable.

Screenshot 2019-02-25 at 13.08.49.png

So we’ve got a goalkeeper, 2 centre backs, 2 wing backs and Eric Dier sat in the hole. Now we need a pair of all-action central midfielders. A box to boxer and a ball winner, who’ll chase down every ball so that Dier can stay in his position. The box to box spot was easy to fill. I’ve picked uncapped pair Jordan O’Halloran and Ed Salmon and thrown down the gauntlet to make the spot their own. They’re both very good and I’m excited to see how they do, but then we come to the next problem.

The Ball Winning Midfielder Problem. Again.

So as I say, it needs to be someone that’s completely defensively minded. Someone who will wear their heart on their sleeve, chase every ball, dive into tackles and dominate the midfield. Stick a boot in, stick a head in, dive right in front of danger for Queen and Country. Here are the players that fit the bill:

Screenshot 2019-02-25 at 13.05.04.png

As you’ll notice, only a handful of the 8 players that match my criteria can play in midfield and most of them are holding men. Sitters. Not all action centre mids. And one of them’s Scottish. I want Michael Keane in my defence, Eric Dier is my holding man and Holgate we’ve discussed, so that leaves 5. I’ve poked fun at Kilmarnock’s Jay Fulton, but although he would be available to switch his allegiance to England, he’s just not good enough. Isaac Hayden is someone that I briefly considered, but he’s been pretty poor for Nottingham Forest in the Championship and is approaching 30, so he’s probably not about to get any better. Scott Wharton over at Derby is actually pretty good and has the attributes I need, but if I’m going to use a centre back in my midfield, I may as well go the whole hog.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

And Stuart Coleman, who’s name sounds very familiar from somewhere but I just can’t place it, is that whole hog. He’s a big powerful centre back who absolutely dominates the back line with his stature, defensive expertise and fantastic positioning, sort of like a modern day Sol Campbell. So naturally I’m shunting him out of position. In the same vein, his understudy will be AC Milan defender Phil Jones, although Phil is slightly more accustomed to the midfield than Stu is. As with Marquinhos and as with Winks, I may abandon this strategy at some point, but I want to at least see how Coleman does first. We’re extremely well stocked in the centre of defence so I feel like we’ll be fine without him at the back.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

And after that problem’s sorted, it’s all easy. Well, not exactly easy, but that’s only because we’ve got an abundance of talent up front so the problem becomes “Who do I pick out of all of these great strikers?”, which is a much better one to have. England Captain Harry Kane does me the courtesy of straining his knee ligaments and ruling himself out of my first squad, so I only have 4 top strikers to choose from. Now that we’ve got all of that out of the way, let’s actually have a look at the team again.

Screenshot 2019-02-25 at 13.39.57

Arsenal stopper Jack Butland will start in net as he has done for Eddie Howe over the last year or so with Liverpool’s Stones and City’s Juddy Lokando in front of him, giving us the perfect defending partnership of experience/ball playing abilty and youth/no nonsense. Eric Dier sits in front of them, with Winks and Shaw bombing on as the full backs, O’Halloran and Coleman are our chasers and battlers in midfield, while Dele Alli obviously starts behind Oliver Webb and Joe Bell, because it’d be pretty hypocritical of me at this point not to start Joe Bell and to be fair I think he’s our best goalscorer even when Kane’s fit. Off the ball we’ll defend together, with the wingbacks coming back to help out and the midfielders squeezing the opposition off the ball.

Screenshot 2019-02-25 at 13.45.12

On the ball, the centre backs will part, Dier will slot in and the rest of the team will bomb forwards. Alli will join in with the strikers, with Bell the primary goal threat, the wingbacks will provide the width and O’Halloran will have license to get forward to help out too, as will Coleman to a lesser extent.

Screenshot 2019-02-25 at 13.58.01

We’ll play narrow to restrict space in the centre, we’ll play high tempo counter attacking football, we’ll close down aggressively to win the ball back but stay on our feet so as to not take ourselves out of the game positionally. We’ll pass into the space, use our numbers through the middle but also have width through Winks and Shaw. We’ll defend as a pride and we’ll attack as a pride.

205 1 3 project pride 2.png

Let’s see how it fares.

Episode 205 >

Coman Feel The Noise (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep204)

“We do not need any more attacking midfielders.” I pronounce each word slowly and clearly, like I’m mouthing the message to a fucking idiot through a sheet of soundproof glass.

Start from the start with episode 1

< Mini-sode 203.5

“No more. Do you hear me? No more.”

“With all due respect, it is my decision who we sign for the future, Mr Franjo.” Growls Stefano Braghin, Paris Saint-Germain’s head of youth development.

“Well it’ll be mine going forwards.” I reply. “From now on, I’ll make the bids.”

“But Mikkelsen…”

“Is an extremely talented footballer I am sure, but I have lost my patience now. We do not need any more attacking midfielders.” I pronounce each word slowly and clearly, like I’m mouthing the message to a fucking idiot through a sheet of soundproof glass. I’m so sick of having this conversation. It’s not Stefano’s fault, well not entirely, but this club is fucking addicted to signing midfield playmakers. I’ve assumed control of all youth signings from here on out after having to step in to cancel our latest bid for Barcelona’s Norway U21 international Gaute Mikkelsen.

204 1 5 mikkelsen bid?

204 1 6 mikkelsen

I lean back in my comfortable chair as Braghi shuffles out of my new office and sigh. In all honesty, I didn’t even realise until now that he was responsible for youth signings. Never mind though. At least that’s us sorted, so now we can focus on the draw for the Champi-

“Boss,” Bechkoura opens the door without knocking and sticks his head through. “Devos says to remember that Ricardo Ibarra’s expecting you to buy a striker before the window closes.”

“Kean is our striker for the time being, but thank you, Bechkoura.” I reply curtly. He nods and his head disappears behind the door as it closes.

204 1 1 ibarra promise.png

As I was saying, now that all that’s sorted, we can focus on the draw for the Champions L-

“Boss,” Bechkoura’s head reappears around the door without even the faintest of knocks. “Do you want me to get back to United about that Lucas bid?” I sigh again.

“Uh, yeah actually. Tell them no, please. I want to keep him around at least until Marquinhos is fit again.” Bechkoura salutes and disappears once more, before slamming the door unnecessarily.

204 1 8 lucas bid.png

So yes, with all of those things firmly out of the way, the dr-

“Boss?” Says Bechkoura’s reemerging head.

“Can you knock, for fucks sake?”

“Coman, Kovacic and Kean all named in Team of the Week.” He smiles and gives me a thumbs up, which I return.

“Richly deserved. Thank you, Bechkoura.” He closes the door once again.

204 1 7 totw.png

So now that all of that’s out of the way… I pause for a moment… The draw for the Champions League has been made. Paris Saint-Germain have been placed in a spicy looking Group C and we’ll have some tough opposition. Let’s have a quick look:

FC København

Anders Lingaard’s København are by far the weakest team in the group but to take victory over the Danish Champions for granted would be silly. They may have a bit of a mental barrier to climb over though as Pep’s PSG beat them 3-0 and 2-1 in the 2020/21 Champions League and then 3-0 and 3-0 last season. They won’t be looking forward to taking us on again. They’ll also be my very first Champions League opponents.

Screenshot 2019-02-24 at 18.57.19

Sevilla

Marcelo Gallardo’s men should be very tricky as they’re enjoying a bit of a resurgence in La Liga after a difficult few years. They finished 4th last season, which is essentially the “Best of the rest” spot in that league. Nevertheless, we will still be favourites for the win and I look forward to giving them a tough time in their first Champions League group since 2016/17. Incidentally, they qualified from the group stage that season, only to be knocked out in the first knockout round by… Unai Emery’s Paris Saint-Germain.

Screenshot 2019-02-24 at 18.57.35

Roma

Now this one should be a doozie. Luciano Spalletti’s Serie A Champions, Roma. As it happens, Roma were also in Group D in 2020/21 along with PSG and København and like the latter, they lost twice to Pep’s side: 3-1 and 3-1. For anyone interested, the final team in that group was FC Porto. I’m chomping at the bit to take on a Roma side that’s performed so well in the last few years and I’m even more eager to go back to the Stadio Olympico, the site of my 4-5 defeat to Belgium in June and seek some form of revenge on the stadium’s usual occupants.

Screenshot 2019-02-24 at 18.57.48

I want to better whatever Pep’s achieved in all competitions this year with the obvious exception of the Trophée des Champions. He won the league once in 4 years, reached the 1st knockout round of the Champions League twice, the quarter final once and the semi final once. The Semi-Final appearance was during that same league winning 2020/21 season, after which he fell off considerably. I have the opportunity here to better Emery’s results against Sevilla, to better Pep’s results against København and Roma and to better both of them and all of the others by winning the bloody thing and bringing the Cup back to Paris for the first time, thereby cementing myself as the greatest Paris Saint-Germain manager of all time. Is it perhaps the tallest of tall orders? Yes. Do I back us to pull it off? Why the fuck not.

204 1 11 cl groups drawn

204 1 9 cl groups204 1 10 cl groups 2

204 1 12 face sevila

But the Champions League still seems so far away. First we’re hosting the Friday night match against Olympique de Marseille, then there’s the transfer deadline and then I’m flying over to Austria to oversee my first ever match with England, so let’s put a pin in those hopes and dreams for the moment, shall we.

204 1 14 preview

There’s not much to report in terms of our team for this one; We absolutely dismantled Lorient last week so I’m sticking to the same starting XI. Marseille look like they’ll set up to stifle us and deny us space through the centre, but to be honest I’m all for it. Project: InSeine has so far dominated sides in the centre of the park so I’m interested to see how well we break Marseille down when they’re using 2 holding midfielders precisely to stop us from doing so. My record signing Éder makes the bench and is given the number 27 shirt.

204 1 15 formations

The first 20 minutes is quiet and our opening goal comes as a result of a defensive mistake as much as anything else. Kovacic is forced to try and go direct with a long ball to Kean but the Italian is beaten to the pass by Armando Izzo, who then plays a sloppy ball towards Augustinsson on the left. Coman takes advantage of the wayward pass, nipping in and reclaiming possession before sprinting full pelt towards goal. As Augustinsson and Izzo give chase fruitlessly, our winger bursts into the box, sees Werner step off his line and drills a low shot past him into the net to give us the lead.

A few minutes later, Coutinho plays a pass inside to Kovacic 25 yards out and the Croatian tries to make space for a shot, but Kessié slides in brilliantly to knock the ball away as far as Orlando. Our winger has an effort blocked by Gumny on the edge of the box and the loose ball falls perfectly in front of Coman on the right hand side, who lashes a half volley against the far post. The ball rolls back in front of Kean, but Izzo manages to get the better of him again and clear it. We go close a couple more times before the break, with Orlando picking out Kovacic on the edge of the box and the midfielder slamming an expertly struck volley against the bar before Coman’s rebound attempt is blocked by Yao.

At half time and despite our lead, I make the decision to try and work our play down the wings, as their compact shape is definitely affecting our Project: InSeine through the middle and restricting us to half chances and snapshots. Just after the restart though, we’re nearly pegged back when Enes Ünal draws Triponez out of position and chips the ball around him for Veglio, who sees his shot tipped behind by Donnarumma. The next quarter of an hour is no more fruitful either, so we make a couple of subs to freshen things up in the middle. On comes Manuel Bueno for his first appearance of the season in place of Kean, while Kovacic jogs off to be replaced by debutant Éder, who gets a warm ovation from the home fans.

That does the trick. Just 4 minutes after the changes, Éder passes to Philippe Coutinho, who plays a superb ball over the Marseille defence for who else but Kingsley Coman to run onto in the box. Coman brings the ball down skilfully, dribbles into the 6 yard box and slots in our 2nd.

At 2-0 I’m pretty certain that the match is ours, but it still jangles my nerves when Coutinho’s dispossessed by Bentaleb in the 74th minute and the former Spurs midfielder plays a long ball over our defence for Ünal. Donnarumma rushes out well to meet him though and blocks the Turkish striker’s eventual shot with ease. After that, we drop back to a withdrawn 4-2-3-1, Cvitanovic replaces Orlando on the left and we set up to soak up whatever pressure Marseille put on us, but the final quarter of an hour is pleasingly eventless.

204 1 16 post

That is a solid win if ever I’ve seen one. So far there have been disclaimers to our victories; Small asterisks next to each one. Yes we beat Lyon, but we relied on a last minute winner. Yes we beat lorient, but although they overachieved last season, the 3 points were to be expected. Marseille absolutely nosedived last season under Roberto Mancini, finishing 14th in Ligue 1, but they are still a top French club with the squad of a top French club. A solid win against them with a clean sheet to boot is very pleasing to me.

204 2 1 eder debut

I’m quite excited now to join up with my first England squad. Matches against Austria and Spain in the European International League await and I’ve already named my squad, but before we get to that we’ve got transfer deadline day to deal with. Some more good news to kick us off though is that we’re the leading producer of elite footballers, which I can’t exactly take any credit for whatsoever, but it’s still nice to hear. What I will take some credit for is the fact that Auxerre are 3rd on the list, which is excellent.

204 2 15 elite footballers

We’ve also got 3 players in this week’s Team of the Week. Donnarumma and Ricardo Ibarra were solid and our keeper in particular did brilliantly to keep a clean sheet against Marseille. Kingsley Coman’s playing out of his skin at the minute and also gets a place.

204 2 16 totw

And speaking of Kingsley Coman, he’s won the Ligue 1 August Player of the Month award at the first opportunity since rejoining his childhood club. He definitely deserves it and I’m happy to eat my words over Pep’s final signing. I thought him an unnecessary purchase initially, but if I’m to have a good season here, it looks like Kingsley’s going to be absolutely crucial, so long may his excellent form continue. In other news, Neal Maupay and Nathan Andre came in 2nd and 3rd. Interesting.

204 2 2 coman potm.png

So while we’re on the subject, let’s talk strikers. Moise Kean had a pretty poor game against Marseille but I’m not ready to go back on what I said about him becoming our main striker just because of one game. There are however some players that I’ll be keeping an eye on over the next few months, just in case I need to bolster our attacking options in January. One of these players is Neal Maupay, another is Nathan Andre. You already know all about them, so I’ll just add that Neal’s scored 5 goals in his first 4 games this season, while Nathan has 3 in 3.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

I’ve also considered players like Thomas Buitink and Christopher Dieckmann, both of whom impressed in last year’s Bundesliga and in the Euros, but to be honest they’ll cost too much even for us to afford at the minute, so I’ve had to give up on those options. The final player I’ll be keeping an eye on is Darragh O’Reilly of Nottingham Forest.

Screenshot 2019-02-25 at 11.10.13.png

The thing about Darragh is that he hasn’t proved himself yet. Not really. He’s 21, an Irish International and has scored 33 goals in 109 league matches for Forest in the Championship. His best haul came last year when he scored 15 in 43, so he isn’t prolific, nor is he tried at a level even close to resembling Ligue 1, but I don’t know… There’s something about him. He fits my usual mould; hard working and switched on. He’s quick and strong enough to be a handful for opposition defenders and there’s no doubt he’s technically gifted. Plus the idea of an Irishman leading the line at Paris Saint-Germain is just genuinely exciting to me. Realistically he’s not at our level yet and initial talks with Forest reveal their asking price, which exceeds £30M. That’s way too much. I will be keeping an eye on him though, as I say. If he impresses this season I may be back.

204 2 19 chasing oreilly

204 2 21 interested

So that’s me done for this window, I think. Time to sort out my jam-packed voicemail and see which offers have come in. First up is Koln and their £5.75M bid for Michal Hutka, who you haven’t met yet because he’s one of our many attacking midfield players. He’s a pretty good prospect so I’m not ready to let him go just yet and certainly not for such a low price. I reject the offer and sign Hutka up to a new deal.

Screenshot 2019-02-25 at 11.24.53.png

One offer that I’m happy to accept though is new Auxerre manager Jocelyn Gourvennec’s £62k bid for our 5th choice Luxembourger goalkeeper, Youn Czekanowicz. This deal works for all parties and I let Jocelyn know that I’ll be happy to talk to him any time about any of my young players or reserves that he’s interested in. The Czekanowicz deal goes through quickly, although I do see with a heavy heart that the reason Jocelyn’s signed him is that he’s let Xavier Legod move to Marseille, where I’m sad to say I reckon he’ll be a benchwarmer. Or perhaps a Tim Krul-esque substitute for penalty shootouts. Best of luck, Youn and LeGod.

204 2 14 czekanowicz moves

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Another player on the move is Romain Vandecasteele, who’s the subject of a £675k bid from Guingamp. I’d forgive you for thinking that I’m just getting shot of all the players whose names I can’t be arsed to keep typing in the future, but it’s not that. Vande… Romain is a striker and one of our academy graduates who just hasn’t progressed all that much. He’s made 4 appearances for the first team in total, which has probably contributed to his lack of development. Now 22, he really needs to get out of our reserve team and get himself some competitive football, so I’m happy to oblige.

204 2 13 vandecasteele moves.png

Screenshot 2019-02-25 at 11.35.24.png

And then in come Bayern with a £40.5M bid for Donnarumma. “Obviously not.” I tell Allegri.

204 2 9 bayern donna bid

“Well how about Yûsuke Abe?” He asks. “£28M.”

“Again, no.” I reply. Abe is my backup goalkeeper and I think it’d be more trouble than it’s worth replacing him this late in the window. He’s obviously not a patch on Donnarumma, but at 23 years old he’s been capped 81 times by Japan, so he must be on course for some kind of record there. He’s also 6’8″ and really solid backup to our Italian vice-captain, so he’s not moving right now.

204 2 10 bayern abe bid

Screenshot 2019-02-25 at 11.46.40.png

Knock knock knock. Of course. Abe wants to go, but I talk him down. If Bayern come back in January when I’ve got time to find a replacement, he’s welcome to move. For fucks sake, Allegri.

204 2 12 abe unh

With a sigh of relief, midnight comes and the deadline passes. Predictably, I’ve signed only a defensive midfielder in my first window in Paris. We’ve got 3 wins out of 3, including pretty impressive victories over Lyon and Marseille and let’s not forget that Lorient finished 3rd last season. Monaco match aside, it’s been a good start. I’m happy. I switch off my office light and grab my trusty grey coat from the back of the door, then I make for the exit. I’ve got a plane to catch. I’m off to Austria for a quick kick about with their national side, after which, Spain will be heading over to Wembley. I’m coming home.

204 3 0 passed

204 3 1 league

Mini-sode 204.5 >

The Full Brazilian (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Mini-sode 203.5)

Éder is the immediate solution to our problem. One that I’m very, very happy with.

Start from the start with episode 1

< Episode 203

“What would you say to those who claim that walking into your first big club and spending £85M on a single player straight away shows your inexperience as a manager?” Smirks the l’Equipe reporter. The hairs on the back of my neck prickle as I lean in towards the microphone.

“I would say,” I start thoughtfully, “That sometimes you’re able to buy a player for the future at a lower price and that sometimes you need to spend more money to get an immediate solution to a problem area in your squad.” I stare unblinkingly into the reporter’s beady eyes as I plough ahead. “I would say that it’s no secret that if I had been appointed a few weeks earlier, I would’ve tried to make sure that certain transfers were cancelled, as I feel like we’ve been left short in some areas of the squad and bloated in others. Éder…” I gesture to my new Brazilian signing, set to my right. “… Is the immediate solution to our problem. One that I’m very, very happy with.”

210 1 2 eder signed210 1 2 eder signed 2

Screenshot 2019-02-24 at 16.10.56

I can’t let them see how terrified I am. I cannot let them see how much I’m sweating under my trusty grey coat. Signing Éder from Manchester United is in my opinion the biggest gamble I’ve made in my career. Until now, that title has been held by my decision to join an Auxerre side that could have very easily been relegated into the French 3rd tier, but in full view of the entire World’s media, I have just made this 20 year old ball winning midfielder the most expensive Brazilian ever, shattering Kaká’s record transfer to Real Madrid by £27M. I’ll give you a moment to remember some Brazilian footballers. Maybe you’d like to remember Ronaldo. Maybe Ronaldinho, Socrates, Zico or Rivaldo. Maybe fucking Pelé. Whoever you’ve chosen to remember, Éder is now more expensive than them. It’s fair to say the move has turned heads.

210 1 4 record brazilian

You see, it’s not just that I’ve signed a defensive midfielder for £85M. That in itself isn’t that much of a shock seeing as only a few weeks ago we sold Diawara to Barcelona for the exact same amount. The thing is, Diawara has proved over his career that he’s worth the money, whereas Éder… Well, just 2 years ago he joined United for £5.25M off the back of a couple of decent seasons for Santos and has made just 27 league appearances since, 16 of which were for Espanyol during a loan spell. He was good for Espanyol, but not £85M good. He was not good on his rare appearances for Mourinho’s men.

Screenshot 2019-02-24 at 15.35.27.png

I have also, ridiculous as this is to say as manager of Paris Saint-Germain, never shown that I am good at spending money. I’ve been excellent on a shoestring if I say so myself, bringing in gems like Hurley, Aires, Olivier and Traore for Angrense, Sohna, Kakuba, Joël, Aidir and Masango for Santos, the Santos 4 and players like Foden, Billy, Doucouré and Vidal for Auxerre. The thing is, it’s all relative. After Aidir, my most expensive signing at Santos was Yanga Baliso, a thoroughly unimpressive left winger. My most expensive signings for Auxerre were Fabian McCarthy and Amine Reynier, who I suppose still have time to become impressive players, but under my reign were very average. At Katowice, there were a couple of good signings like Danny Wilson and goalkeeper Jack Hamilton, who I never had a chance to use but who went on to make the club a great profit, but you need to weigh that against my £43k signing of Alan Hutton. My point is, the players I’ve signed for big money relative to the clubs I’ve managed have tended to be some of my worst signings, while the cheaper ones have generally been pretty good. So for me to go straight out and throw £85M at a largely untested Brazilian ball winner 3 matches into my PSG tenure, eyebrows have been raised.

Screenshot 2019-02-24 at 15.59.54.png

I considered once again just not buying anyone at all. Maybe it’d all be alright with the squad I already have at my disposal. Maybe Neves and Kovacic can provide all the defensive cover I’ll need as they’ve proved capable so far. But will I think the same way the next time we come up against Monaco? Will I think the same way if we go deep into the Champions League and come up against one of the best sides in the World? Simply, no. No I will not. We need a defensive midfielder.

Screenshot 2019-02-24 at 15.58.50

And my god I tried not to spend £85M. I really did. I looked everywhere. I looked in South America, Europe, I hoped for yet another gem from Africa, I looked down the back of the bloody sofa cushions, but all to no avail. Defensive midfielders and I mean real defensive midfielders, who are or at least have the potential to be world class are at an astonishing premium. I considered raiding Auxerre for someone like Sissako or Goujon, but aside from the fact that I really don’t want to break up that fantastic team, the cold hard truth is that they just aren’t at our level and they never will be. They won’t be able to provide what I need for this team. That’s why I’ve taken this risk. That’s why I let United haggle me up from my initial £60M bid. That’s why I’ve signed Éder.

He has all the tools to be successful. He has the athletic ability, the mental fortitude and the technical skills. With some guidance, he can be the complete defensive midfield powerhouse. The full Brazilian that we all need.

Please. Please mate. Become a fucking world beater.

210 1 3 eder

Episode 204 >

The Striker Dilemma (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep203)

I happen to remember Manuel spanking my Auxerre team up and down the garden path in February.

Start from the start with episode 1

< Mini-sode 205.5.5

Now here’s a thinker: On one hand, we have Álvaro Morata, a very good striker in his early 30’s who is the subject of a couple of interesting bids. On the other hand we have Manuel Bueno: A Spanish target man, if you can imagine such a thing. He’s played twice for his country at 23 years old, he’s 6’5″, quick enough and is very strong and very good in the air. He’s yet another driven individual and he wants more playing time than he’d previous gotten under Pep. I also happen to remember Manuel spanking my Auxerre team up and down the garden path in February, scoring a hat trick as we lost 5-0 to PSG, so I’m curious as to how good he can become.

Screenshot 2019-02-18 at 21.33.03.png

I initially accept what eventually becomes a £15M bid from Real Madrid for Morata, but then cancel the deal when Manchester United come in with a bid rising to £22M, accepting that one instead. I think I’d be pretty comfortable letting him go as we do have plenty of options up front. We’ve got Bueno, we’ve got Kean, neither of whom I’m too sure about yet but they’ll get a chance to impress. Orlando may be able to do a job up there too and we have a good few youth players, or failing any of those options we can always bring somebody in, so Morata may be allowed to leave. I’m going to bench him for our trip to Lyon and explore another option as we debut Project: InSeine in our first Ligue 1 match.

209 1 18 morata real

209 1 20 morata manu

209 1 22 preview.png

Despite my fighting words last week, I wasn’t particularly aiming for this to be a “Franjo v Ibra” showdown as I’m more focussed on seeing how my new system works, but Zlatan wants to humiliate me today. Good luck, mate.

209 1 17 ibra wants to humiliate me

209 1 19 lol

Anyway as I say, we’re giving our revelatory new system a try today and I’m making a few personnel changes from the Trophée des Champions match. Renan, Dobby, Triponez and Morata are all out, while Bologna, Kovacic, Lato and Kean are in. Zlatan’s sticking religiously to his 4-4-2 so there is the possibility if we’re poorly disciplined that we’ll be left 2v2 against their strikers. I sincerely hope that doesn’t happen, because then Zlatan’s dream of humiliating me may be in danger of being realised.

209 1 23 formations.png

It takes less than 2 minutes for Lyon to give us a scare. Raí drops deep to receive a pass from Marchetti, bringing Ibarra with him before slipping the ball into the space. Blanchard darts in on goal and shoots for the near post, but Donnarumma pulls off a great save, tipping the ball behind.

In the 10th minute we get caught when Ibarra rises to head the ball towards where a left full back would normally be, except Lato is tucked into midfield and isn’t there to receive it. This will take some getting used to. Instead Brekalo picks up the loose pass, bombs down the right wing, crosses from the byline and allows Raí to slot in the opening goal. Not a fantastic vindication of my system, that. We go on the counter.

Luckily, we do see an improvement going forwards shortly afterwards. Lato passes inside for Kovacic, who plays it on for Moise Kean who has his back to goal. Kean takes a touch, executes a lovely backheel pass to set Orlando clean through and the Brazilian slots the ball under Lopes to equalise. What pleases me the most is our shape as we work the ball forward, completely flooding the centre of the park in what actually resembles a 2-1-3-1-3 formation.

Screenshot 2019-02-18 at 22.15.41.png

The first half ends with the scores level at 1-1 and I’m pretty happy with that. I tell us to play fairly narrow to really make the most of our dominance in the centre, but a lot of the second half is eventless. With 20 minutes to go something does happen, but it’s not something I’m happy about. Marquinhos goes down clutching his thigh and has to be stretchered off the pitch. Boris Triponez comes on in his place and the armband goes to our vice captain, Gianluigi Donnarumma. 5 minutes later I make another change, bringing off Cvitanovic and replacing him like-for-like with Philippe Coutinho. The change certainly sparks something as a couple of minutes later, Coman releases Coutinho on the right hand side of the box and the Brazilian tries a cross, which is blocked and bounces back to Toni Lato. The full back has a pop from 20 yards but it’s caught comfortably by Lopes.

With 8 minutes left to play, Kovacic receives the ball from Neves 30 yards out from goal and looks up to assess his options. Quick as a flash he spots Coman’s run and threads a pass through the defence into the Frenchman’s path. Coman shoots first time and Lopes does well to palm the ball away, but Orlando goes to collect it from the left byline. Turning onto his right foot, Orlando fizzes a low cross into the box and Coutinho places it into the net first time. 82 minutes in, we have the lead.

88 minutes in, we don’t. As the game winds towards it’s conclusion and my first 3 points of the season, Mateo Kovacic trips Vincent Marchetti on the edge of the box, giving away a free kick right on the edge of our box. Up steps Memphis Depay, a player who has managed to get thoroughly on my tits over the last few years for a number of reasons, to blast the ball into the top corner of Donnarumma’s net. 2-2.

And so we trundle on towards the end of 90 minutes and a disappointing Ligue 1 curtain raiser. There’s only one way this could get any worse. With 30 seconds of normal time to play, Juanpi looks up inside his own half an boots the ball towards the PSG box. Memphis rises to meet it… But his header goes straight to Ricardo Ibarra. Now we’re talking. Ibarra heads it to Kovacic, who spins and plays it on to Moise Kean just inside the Lyon half. Kean looks up and spots Kingsley Coman racing inside from the right wing, leaving a dumbfounded Jonathan Silva trotting along in his wake. Kean plays the pass and Coman takes it in stride beautifully: With his first touch he knocks the ball around centre back Yann Deschamps and runs around him the other way, then with his second he gets to the edge of the penalty area. It’s one on one. Anthony Lopes rushes off his line… COMAN!

I let out what seems like an ultrasonic yelp of delight as PSG’s league debutant lifts a sublimely audacious lob over the stranded Portuguese goalkeeper. The ball drifts for hours through the air, spinning slowly backwards before finally arcing over the line and nestling in the back of the net. We sit back and defend through 3 minutes of injury time. At full time, the score is Zlatan 2 – 3 Fra… I mean Lyon 2 – 3 PSG.

Screenshot 2019-02-21 at 20.50.04

209 1 24 post

209 2 5 lol again

209 2 21 pre match

A perfect start to the league campaign, or so it would seem. What really does a big old piss on my bonfire though is the fact that after reluctantly accepting that Captain Marquinhos’ place is in the centre of defence, I’m now not going to be able to play him there for 2 months on account of his torn hamstring. And while I’m getting the bad news out of the way, I may as well mention that my winger Orlando is 1 goal away from triggering a 10 goal clause in his transfer deal, which will mean we need to pay Santos a handsome £4.6M fee. Remarkably, this would technically break my personal transfer record which currently stands at the £3M that Auxerre paid for Amine Reynier in January.

209 2 1 marquinhos inj

209 2 4 orlando a goal away

Now that I’ve had a week to begin waring my arse groove into the PSG manager’s chair though, let’s have a little look at transfers. I’ve already mentioned Morata before the match, but in the following 8 days before our next match there’s plenty of interest in the striker’s signature. New Chelsea Manager Didier Deschamps is the next in line after also apparently showing interest in Rúben Neves and Silvio Cvitanovic. If and when he makes a move for either of them, he’ll be merrily told to jog on, but his bid of up to £25.5M for Morata is welcome and after a bit of back and forth, the deal goes through. Álvaro, we barely knew ye. But I’m not that arsed.

209 2 2 deschamps in crowd

209 2 6 morata chelsea

209 2 13 chelsea sign morata.png

The squad aren’t very happy about the news as they now think we’re light up top, but I tell them I’ve got my eye on a few possible replacements for the Spanish striker, although as I’ve said I’m also looking within the squad. This seems to tide them over for now.

209 2 14 squad unh.png

Unfortunately though, Morata’s move seems to paint a big neon sign over the Parc Des Princes that says “Reduced to Clear”, so I then have to fend off bids like Manchester City’s £42.5M offer for Donnarumma, who I value at £100M at the very least and their £52M bid for right back Danilo Bologna, who I’m not interested in selling at all.

209 2 7 donnarumma city

209 2 12 bologna city

Dortmund also try their luck with a £33.5M bid for Toni Lato, but I reject it out of hand. The left back’s still got a big part to play in my plans.

209 2 15 lato dortmund.png

Massive Argentinian anti-winger Rodolfo Chao fancies a move to Bayern too, but I’m reluctant to let him go as I think he can be a terrific option for us. In the end we shake on a £40M price tag should Bayern come in for his signature.

209 2 9 chao wants out

209 2 10 chao wants out 2

209 2 11 chao

Oh and then Deschamps comes back with £53M for Neves. As I said, jog on.

209 2 18 neves chelsea.png

Centre back Lucas, who fell out of my favour while I was in charge of France, also wants out in search of first team football. To be honest, I’d be fine with cashing in so I tell him I’ll happily let him go, but he does a U-turn and tells me he’d rather stay.

209 2 20 lucas unh

209 2 20 lucas unh 2

Screenshot 2019-02-21 at 21.57.59.png

The final bit of news I’ve got for you is that former Bordeaux, Lyon and Stade Brestois manager Jocelyn Gourvennec has taken over at AJ Auxerre. Despite his recent relegation, I’m really pleased with that appointment to be honest! He’s a quality manager, experienced in Ligue 1 and he should be a very steady pair of hands to take my old club forwards. I wish him all the very best, except in September when we’re due to welcome them to Paris.

209 2 16 gourvennec.png

Oh and we’ve also lodged a bid that’d break my £3M transfer record almost 30 times over, but you don’t want to hear about that now. Let’s get to the match, shall we?

209 2 22 preview

Lorient at home is a match that I’d have had reservations about in previous seasons, but this should be a routine win for us. I’ll let you into a secret though; Neal Maupay starts for Lorient today and after impressing me over the last couple of years, he’s on my shortlist to bolster our options up front, if indeed that’s what I want to do. I’d quite like to see him to give us a hard time, so consider today his audition. In terms of our team, Marquinhos starts his long injury layoff, so Boris Triponez comes in to replace him in defence while Donnarumma takes the armband. I’m also starting Coutinho ahead of Cvitanovic as the Brazilian has impressed me much more off the bench than his younger German teammate has so far.

209 2 23 formations

Lorient set up to try and pen us into our own half, but it’s a very risky strategy. At Auxerre they may have got some joy from such an approach, but here in Paris we have ways of dealing with… Well, 18 of the clubs in Ligue 1 that have nowhere near as much money as us. In the 22nd minute, Mateo Kovacic makes a well timed interception to break up a Lorient move, then skims the ball over to Orlando on the left. Orlando spots Kean racing down the line and lifts the ball over to the Italian, who then turns inside and splits the Lorient defence with a breathtaking diagonal ball to the far post. Coman arrives to tap in his 2nd goal of the campaign and get us off to a flying start.

10 minutes later we come forward again looking to press our advantage. This time Ibarra sprays the ball out to Coman on the right hand side of the halfway line. The Frenchman takes a touch and plays a long diagonal ball over the top for Moise Kean, who brings the ball down, draws the centre backs out of position and slips the ball in front of Kovacic. The Croatian midfielder takes a touch on the edge of the box and pokes the ball under Plizzari to make it 2-0. Another great assist there from Kean, who’s impressing me.

As half time approaches we have yet another chance, this time stemming from Coutinho’s ball out onto the right for Coman, who races past Tyrone Mings and swings a cross in towards the far post. Orlando loses his marker to reach it and taps the ball back across goal for Kean, who shoots from close range but hits it straight at Plizzari, who to be fair still has to pull a pretty impressive save to deny him from point blank range. The referee’s whistle blows anyway as Orlando was judged to be offside by the linesman.

5 minutes after the break, Orlando drives down the left wing hugging the touchline. He swings a cross in towards the near post, Plizzari comes charging out to claim it but Kean rises to beat him to it, besting Saralina in the air and sending a looping a header over the pair of them. I feel like he deserves a goal today to be honest but unfortunately his effort bounces off the post and is cleared.

On the hour, a lovely PSG passing move culminates with Kovacic passing to Coman on the right hand side of the box. The winger touches a lovely pass through the defence for Kean, who gets a bit of space and this time does rifle the ball in from 8 yards to get himself on the scoresheet. I’ve got to say, coming into this match my focus was more on Neal Maupay, but his team have failed to create any decent chances for him and as a result, he’s been well and truly outshone. So far Moise Kean’s got a goal, 2 assists and has hit the post. For now at least, I reckon I’ve already got my starting striker.

I make a couple of substitutions with just under 20 minutes to play: Silvio Cvitanovic comes onto the left wing replacing Orlando. Although we’re not even 3 games in yet, Cvitanovic has been underwhelming for me and I really want to find his best position in this side. Replacing Coutinho in the centre is Miguel Veiga, one of the many attacking midfielders at my disposal and a bloody talented one too. He started most of PSG’s matches last season after a £61M summer switch from Real Madrid and won a single cap for Spain in October. He’s a top athlete and a really mentally strong footballer for a 22 year old, although technically there is really only one string to his bow; He’s a great passer of the ball, but that’s about it and that’s why he’s only just getting a look in. Even so though, he is one of the most talented players in the squad and I feel like I need to give him a proper chance at some point. In case it isn’t obvious, I still have no bloody idea who my main attacking midfielder will be at this point.

Screenshot 2019-02-21 at 22.02.15.png

2 minutes into injury time, Boris Triponez gets the last touch of the match, rising to meet a Cvitanovic corner and heading the ball onto the roof of Lorient’s net. The whistle blows immediately after and I have to say I’m impressed. 3-0 was probably par for the course in this match, but nearly everyone has impressed me nevertheless. Orlando wasn’t too involved and the lads who came off the bench didn’t really have time to grab my attention, but defensively we were very solid, Kovacic looks extremely at home in the box-to-box role, Coman actually looks like a superb last signing by Pep having scored twice and set another goal up in his first 2 league matches and Moise Kean has for now solved the striker dilemma. Now I just need to trial-and-error my way to finding my best attacking midfielder and we’ll be golden.

209 2 24 post

209 3 1 league

Mini-sode 203.5 >

Project: InSeine (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Mini-sode 202.5.5)

I have been scheming obsessively over how I can set up this team.

Start from the start with episode 1

< Mini-sode 202.5

Did you ever hear about the man who jumped into the river in Paris?

He was later declared fucking mental.

I may have told that wrong. Anyway, since my first match and indeed first defeat as Paris Saint-Germain manager, I have been scheming obsessively over how I can set up this team. We’ve had almost a full week of training since the Battle of Madagascar and with our first Ligue 1 match away at Zlatan’s Lyon imminent, I am ready to unveil Project: InSeine.

209 1 1 inseine formation.png

Project: InSeine is a bit of a departure from my usual style. Usually my systems will be based around a 4-1-2-3 or a 4-2-3-1 with at least 1 wide man tucking in to create space for overlapping full backs. To be honest, that’s been the core premise of pretty much every system I’ve ever used. With this PSG side though, it took me a really, really long time to figure out how I can actually use the players I have to get the best out of everyone. Let me first outline why my usual systems wouldn’t work with these players.

Problem 1: No ball winner

I know we have “Defensive midfielders” in this squad, but because I’m walking into a Pep Guardiola team, they’re all fucking playmakers. I have actually considered the possibility that it’s me that needs to change. Maybe I don’t need a ball winner at a club like PSG. Maybe I’m bringing a small club mentality to a big club where I can just slot 11 attacking midfielders in and trust that they’ll blast the opposition apart by virtue of being really talented. But no. I want a ball winner and I don’t currently have one, so I’m not comfortable playing a 2 or 3 man midfield that includes 2 or 3 playmakers.

Problem 2: Out and out wingers

I had Kevin and Amonike at Angrense, those two plus Janga at Katowice. I had Masango at Santos, Foden, Zoun and Ferhat at Angrense, Mbappé and Lemar for France. I’ve always used inside forwards to supplement my attack, with fullbacks or wingbacks providing the width. With Coman, I actually used him most often as a playmaker on the right for France, swapping onto the left now and then as an inside forward. But… Well hold that thought, because I need to introduce you to our senior full backs.

Right Back – No 2 – Danilo Bologna

A £25.5M deadline day signing from Atalanta in January 2022, Italy international Danilo is the senior full back that was banned for our first match against Monaco. He is an absolutely superb defender. His physical and mental game is almost off-the-charts impressive. He’s an excellent athlete, a leader, a hard worker with fantastic decision making, positioning, bravery and anticipation. The thing is, he’s not very good going forwards. His crossing and dribbling is sub-par, so as much as I really rate him, he won’t be much good as a wing back bombing past an inside forward on the flank. That’s fine. Gary Neville wasn’t the greatest crosser of the ball in history either, but with David Beckham in front of him, he didn’t need to be. Still, it’s something to keep in mind.

Screenshot 2019-02-18 at 20.16.08.png

Left Back – No 12 – Toni Lato

Toni has been an excellent signing for PSG so far and is just back from injury. He’s approaching his prime at 26 and is about to enter his 5th season in Paris following his £14.5M transfer from Sevilla. As with most of our squad, he’s quick, physically strong and is also very strong mentally. He’s as determined as anyone, a great decision maker and a hard worker. He’s also very good defensively and is pretty decent going forwards as well.

Screenshot 2019-02-18 at 20.16.57.png

So this is my problem: I’d have no problem with Lato bombing on past an inside forward, but the only players that can play as an inside forward on the left are Kingsley Coman, who’s actually better as a right winger and Moise Kean, who I can’t see doing very well as his crossing and passing ability isn’t great. Also if I did use Coman on the left, I’d have nobody on the right as we’re actually fairly short on wide men. I’d have to train someone like Orlando as a right inside forward, but as I say, Danilo isn’t good enough to bomb on down the right anyway. Our best wide men for my money are Coman and Orlando: They’re out and out wingers, so I’m changing my approach accordingly. Let me just introduce you to another player:

Box to Box Midfielder – No 10 – Mateo Kovacic

Mateo was signed from Real Madrid for £46.5M in the Summer of 2018 and has been a big player for PSG in the last 6 years. Now 30, he epitomises the squad: He’s an all round great player, physically impressive, mentally excellent and technically gifted. I’ve given up for now on the idea of using Marquinhos as a ball winning midfielder as I think I need him in defence, so Kovacic is the closest thing I have to that player. He’s not a natural ball winner but he’s competent, so I’ll be using him as a box to box midfielder who can chip in all over the pitch.

Screenshot 2019-02-18 at 20.43.41

Off the ball, we’ll be set up in a form of 4-2-3-1 with the full backs acting as full backs, Neves the deepest midfielder, Kovacic coming back to help out and Cvitanovic waiting to receive the ball so that he can start attacks for the front 3.

Screenshot 2019-02-18 at 20.40.49

On the ball is where we’ll really see a bit of a departure from the classic Franjo formula, with our shape resembling sort of a 2-3-2-3 or 2-3-4 1. As Coman and Orlando will be staying out wide, I want Bologna and Lato to tuck into midfield to help out with our solidity. We don’t have ball winners in midfield and we don’t need our full backs pushing up, so it seems like quite a tidy solution to both problems.

Screenshot 2019-02-18 at 20.40.16

So that’s the plan shape-wise. We’ll control the play and we’ll need to be fluid to allow the players a bit of freedom. We’ll play high tempo football and play out from the back mainly through Marquinhos, then using Neves to start attacks by playing the ball into space for our attacking players, all of whom have plenty of pace with which to attack that space. We’ll harass our opponents, we’ll run at them, we’ll express ourselves and it’s going to be fantastic.

209 1 2 inseine instructions.png

Or this system will fall flat on its face and we’ll be buggered, after which we’ll come back to the drawing board. Let’s hope not though.

Episode 203 >

An Unexpected Applicant (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Mini-sode 202.5)

Why would you want the job?

Start from the start with episode 1

< Episode 202

Screen Shot 2018-07-21 at 17.53.15

I fall to my knees, the tears streaming down my face as my trembling hand holds the phone to my ear. I can’t breathe. I feel as if a huge weight is pressing down on my chest, restricting me to short, sharp gasps of air.

“I take it that’s a no then?” Asks the mildly annoyed voice from the other end of the phone. I use my free hand to wipe the tears from my blurry eyes.

“Of course it is, you bloody spoon!” I manage, through my hysterical laughter.

“Why?”

“Oh well let’s run through the checklist shall we?” I straighten up. “Because you bailed on Auxerre! Because you bailed on me! Because you’re the Hull City manager for fucks sake! Why would I want you as my assistant again?” I pause, the laughter now well and truly gone from my voice. “Frankly, Peter, why would you want the job?”

Screen Shot 2018-07-21 at 17.54.44

Screen Shot 2018-07-21 at 17.54.36

“I do my best work for England.” Crouch replies glumly.

“Oh I know you do.” I pull myself back into my office chair, still holding the phone to my ear. “I haven’t forgotten. 20 goals in-”

“22.” He cuts across me. “22 goals in 42 caps.”

“Right. Not really the point though, is it? We’re talking about the assistant manager’s job and I need someone I can trust.” He starts to protest, but I cut him off. “Besides, I’ve already hired someone.”

“Have you?” He sounds quite hurt. “Who? Bechkoura?”

“No, Bechkoura’s sticking with France, the unappreciative tit… It’s Rui Faria.”

Screen Shot 2018-07-21 at 17.58.29

“Rui Faria?!” He groans. “Why does he even want the job? Aren’t his hands full with United?”

“Aren’t yours full with Hull?” I laugh. “You know… Being the manager and everything. And Faria’s great! He’s worked under Mourinho for years, worked at a load of top clubs…”

“Not scored any England goals though, has he.” Crouch replies bluntly.

“No, you’ve got me there.” I concede. “Sorry, Crouchy.”

“I just thought you could have used some international experience on your team, you know… After…”

“The Semi Finals is still a fucking achievement! Why will nobody agree with me?!” There’s a long, awkward pause.

“Is it though?”

“Yes. Good bye Peter. It’s been a pleasure as always.” I scathe, before hanging up and slamming the phone down on my desk. “It’s still an achievement.” I repeat quietly, to my empty office.

Mini-sode 205.5.5 >

The Battle Of Madagascar (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep202)

I have faith in my thrown together system to get the best of Monaco.

Start from the start with episode 1

< Mini-sode 201.5

208 1 build up.png

Enrique smiles a thin smile as we walk to meet each other on the touchline of Antananarivo’s Stade Municipal de Mahamasina pitch, deep in the heart of Madagascar. We shake hands and he pulls me into what seems like a mock-friendly hug. “You’ve left the French National Team in good shape I see.” He mutters, his voice thick with sarcasm.

“As long as they’re not losing 6-2 at the World Cup mate, I’ll be happy.” I pull away from the hug and give Enrique a wide grin, savouring the look of disdain on the former Spain manager’s face.

208 4 preview.png

As simple as it is, I have faith in my thrown together system to get the best of Monaco in my first match in charge of Paris Saint-Germain. I’ve had a little bit of time since my arrival to watch footage from Enrique’s friendly matches and he’s been setting up to dominate in a 4-1-2-3. We’ll try to dominate too in our 4-2-3-1. We’ll do our best to retain possession, we’ll press high up the pitch to win the ball back as fast as possible and we’ll use our many skilled dribblers to run at Monaco’s defence and create space.

208 2 instructions.png

The good news for us is that our rivals are without Kylian Mbappé and Corentin Tolisso, whose strengths I know all too well at this point. The bad news is that Tiémoué Bakayoko starts in the heart of their midfield and I’m a big fan of the ball winning midfielder. I actually very much wish that I could have him in my team so that I didn’t have to play Marquinhos in the ball winning role. Also Theo Hernández starts at left back and I suspect he’ll want to prove to me that he should’ve been in France’s Euro 24 squad.

208 5 formations.png

The first chance of the match goes Monaco’s way when 15 minutes in, Euro 24 winner Bernardo Silva’s corner is cleared by Ricardo Ibarra. Fabinho brings the ball down and plays it back out for Silva, who beats Dobby for pace and whips a cross towards the near post. Vinícius Júnior arrives with the goal at his mercy but thankfully glances a header straight at Donnarumma, who parries it clear.

A couple of minutes later they come at us again when Marquinhos is caught out of position pressing Giménez on the half way line. Silva cuts in from the left to make full use of the space that our makeshift midfielder leaves, chips a ball into the path of Júnior in the box and the striker shoots just wide of Donnarumma’s near post. I drop us back a bit to play on the counter attack, but just after the half hour mark Monaco get the breakthrough they deserve when another Bernardo Silva corner is missed by Coman at the near post and fizzes straight onto the foot of Giménez inside the 6 yard box, allowing the centre back to volley in the opening goal.

We go in for the break trailing by a single goal to nil, which isn’t ideal, but our attacking play is the most worrying thing to come out of that half for me. We’ve not been able to get the ball into the final third nearly enough, so I decide to bring Cvitanovic back into a deeper central midfield position so that he can pick the ball up and drive us forward. We’ll go more attacking after the break and we’ll play with a bit of fluidity, which should help us express ourselves and impose ourselves upon Monaco.

208 6 change 1

We do show signs of improvement just after the restart when Cvitanovic gets on the ball, takes on Bakayoko and slides the ball to Morata. The striker’s instantly crowded out though and Monaco counter. Silva again is the danger man, dribbling through the centre but then spooning his 20 yard shot well over the bar. With an hour gone I experiment a bit more, bringing on Philippe Coutinho and Moise Kean for Coman and Orlando, who’ve been ineffective as wingers today. We’ll change to a narrow 4-3-1-2 system with experienced playmaker Coutinho acting as an enganche behind a striking partnership of Morata and Kean. I’m hoping that having Coutinho stay in that central area will enable us to overload Monaco through the centre while our fullbacks now overlap to provide the width. I’m also unimpressed with Morata’s hold up play so far as a lone striker, so maybe having Kean supporting him will help us create chances. We’ll pass the ball shorter and we’ll exploit the centre.

208 7 change 2

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

10 minutes later, green shoots of promise are emerging when Dobby finds Kean drifting out on the left wing. Kean drops the shoulder and cuts inside, spraying a fantastic pass out onto the right for Renan. This is more like it. Renan speeds down the line, gets a cross in… But it’s blocked and Monaco counter attack. Bloody hell. Bernardo latches onto a hoofed ball on the now vacant left wing, charges inside past Ibarra, gets into the box and shoots, forcing a great flying save from Donnarumma. From the resulting corner, Silva crosses to the far post and Giménez sends a looping header goalwards, but it’s a comfortable catch for Italy’s number 1.

7 minutes from time, we put together by far the best move I’ve seen all match, so I want to describe it in full. André Gomes sidles forwards towards the halfway line but is dispossessed by a superb sliding tackle from Marquinhos. Ibarra picks up the loose ball and chips it out onto the right wing for Renan, who uses his quick feet to leave Theo Hernández utterly bamboozled before playing the ball back inside for Cvitanovic. We then play some nice one touch stuff, with Cvitanovic passing to Coutinho, who moves it on to Kean on the edge of the area, who pings it first time back out onto the right for Renan. Renan volleys a cross to the far post, Dobby arrives to meet it, besting Leonardo in the air, but his header comes back off the post. Morata also has a chance a minute later, forcing a near post save from Rico after an impressive solo run, but we don’t manage to find an equaliser.

208 9 post

So the scoreline on the electronic board inside the Stade Municipal de Mahamasina reads Monaco 1 – 0 PSG, mirroring the scoreline between myself and Enrique. He’s won the battle of Madagascar and he’s won his first silverware as Monaco boss, but if I’m honest, I’m not too disheartened. This is not my Paris Saint-Germain. Not yet. This is a group of strangers who I’m experimenting with to see what works. Our time will come and the next time I meet Luis, I hope that we’ll be ready to put the record straight. The Trophée des Champions was merely the first battle in a year-long war. The Ligue 1 title is what I’m gunning for. That, as a wise man once said, is the real quiz. And we’re going to win.

208 8 loss

208 8 loss 2

208 10 triponez debut

Mini-sode 202.5 >

Ligue 1 2024/25 (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Mini-sode 201.5)

Our perspective has been dramatically altered.

Start from the start with episode 1

< Episode 201

Here we go again then. It’s the beginning of my 4th full season in France and my 3rd in Ligue 1, but our perspective has been dramatically altered. In seasons past, I’d be looking down this list in terms of what pitfalls might await, who we’ll need to pick up wins against and which matches are just plain write offs. This year, we’ve really got to be looking down the list as “Which 18 teams should we beat comfortably?” plus Monaco.

Screenshot 2019-02-19 at 20.05.04

Athlétic Club Ajaccio

Nickname: L’ACA

Manager: Olivier Pantaloni (9 years, 276 days)

From: Ajaccio

Ground: Stade François Coty

Last Season: 17th

Predicted: 20th

Rivals in Ligue 1: Sporting Club de Bastia (Fierce, Local), OGC Nice (Local)

My Record: W4 D0 L2

Screenshot 2019-02-19 at 20.05.20

Association de la Jeunesse Auxerroise

Nickname: L’AJA

Manager: Juninho (Caretaker)

From: Auxerre

Ground: Stade Abbé Deschamps

Last Season: 6th

Predicted: 15th

Rivals in Ligue 1: Dijon FCO (Local)

My Record: N/A

Screenshot 2019-02-19 at 20.05.34

Association Sportive de Monaco Football Club

Nickname: Les Monégasques

Manager: Luis Enrique (11 days)

From: Monaco

Ground: Ettori Park (Built 2019)

Last Season: Champions

Predicted: 2nd

Rivals in Ligue 1: OGC Nice (Fierce, Local), Olympique de Marseille (Local), Olympique Lyonnais (Competitive), Paris Saint-Germain (Competitive), Sporting Club de Bastia (Local)

My Record: W0 D0 L4

Screenshot 2019-02-19 at 20.05.46

Association Sportive NancyLorraine

Nickname: L’ASNL

Manager: Didier Santini (1 day)

From: Nancy

Ground: Stade Marcel Picot

Last Season: 1st in Ligue 2 (Promoted)

Predicted: 14th

Rivals in Ligue 1: FC Metz (Fierce, Local), FC Sochaux-Montbé (Local)

My Record: W2 D1 L0

Screenshot 2019-02-19 at 20.05.56

Association Sportive de Saint-Étienne Loire

Nickname: Les Verts

Manager: Claude Makélélé (1 year, 199 days)

From: Saint-Étienne

Ground: Stade Geoffrey-Guichard

Last Season: 9th

Predicted: 9th

Rivals in Ligue 1: Olympique Lyonnais (Fierce, Local), Olympique de Marseille (Historic), FC Nantes (Historic), Paris Saint-Germain (Competitive)

My Record: W2 D0 L2

Screenshot 2019-02-19 at 20.06.21

Dijon Football Côte d’Or

Nickname: Le DFCO

Manager: Daniel Moreira (112 days)

From: Dijon

Ground: Parc Des Sports Gaston Gérard

Last Season: 2nd in Ligue 2 (Promoted)

Predicted: 19th

Rivals in Ligue 1: AJ Auxerre (Local)

My Record: W2 D1 L0

Screenshot 2019-02-19 at 20.06.36

En Avant de Guingamp Côtes-d’Armor

Nickname: Les Costarmoricains

Manager: Michel Der Zakarian (123 days)

From: Guingamp

Ground: En Avant de Guingamp Stadium (Built 2019)

Last Season: 15th

Predicted: 12th

Rivals in Ligue 1: Stade Rennais FC (Local), FC Lorient (Local), FC Nantes (Local)

My Record: W2 D0 L2

Screenshot 2019-02-19 at 20.06.50

Football Club Lorient-Bretagne Sud

Nickname: Les Merlus

Manager: Djamel Merdjett (4 years, 229 days)

From: Lorient

Ground: Gourcuff Stadium (Built 2021)

Last Season: 3rd

Predicted: 7th

Rivals in Ligue 1: Stade Rennais FC (Local), FC Nantes (Local), En Avant de Guingamp (Local)

My Record: W2 D0 L3

Screenshot 2019-02-19 at 20.07.04

Football Club de Metz

Nickname: Les Grenats

Manager: Cláudio Caçapa (2 years, 202 days)

From: Longeville-lès-Metz

Ground: Stade Saint-Symphorien

Last Season: 11th

Predicted: 16th

Rivals in Ligue 1: AS Nancy Lorraine (Fierce, Local), Football Club Sochaux-Montbéliard (Local)

My Record: W1 D1 L1

Screenshot 2019-02-19 at 20.07.18

Football Club de Nantes

Nickname: Les Canaris

Manager: Frédéric Hantz (4 years, 240 days)

From: Nantes

Ground: Stade Louis Fonteneau (La Beaujoire)

Last Season: 8th

Predicted: 6th

Rivals in Ligue 1: Stade Rennais FC (Fierce, Local), Girondins de Bordeaux (Local), AS Saint-Étienne (Historic), FC Lorient (Local), En Avant de Guingamp (Local)

My Record: W1 D1 L2

Screenshot 2019-02-19 at 20.07.29

Football Club Sochaux-Montbéliard

Nickname: Les Lionceaux

Manager: Albert Cartier (8 years, 310 days)

From: Montbéliard

Ground: Stade Auguste Bonal

Last Season: 7th

Predicted: 11th

Rivals in Ligue 1: AS Nancy Lorraine (Local)

My Record: W2 D0 L3

Screenshot 2019-02-19 at 20.07.55

Football Club des Girondins de Bordeaux

Nickname: Les Girondins

Manager: Zinedine Zidane (235 days)

From: Bordeaux

Ground: Matmut Atlantique (Nouveau Stade de Bordeaux)

Last Season: 5th

Predicted: 5th

Rivals in Ligue 1: Toulouse FC (Fierce, Local), FC Nantes (Local), Olympique de Marseille (Competitive), Olympique Lyonnais (Competitive), Paris Saint-Germain (Competitive)

My Record: W2 D1 L2

Screenshot 2019-02-19 at 20.08.12

Lille Olympique Sporting Club

Nickname: Les Dogues

Manager: Eric Chelle (1 year, 159 days)

From: Villeneuve-d’Ascq

Ground: Stade Pierre Mauroy

Last Season: 16th

Predicted: 13th

Rivals in Ligue 1: N/A

My Record: W2 D0 L2

Screenshot 2019-02-19 at 20.08.23

Olympique Gymnaste Club Nice Côte d’Azur

Nickname: Le Gym

Manager: Julien Sablé (156 days)

From: Nice

Ground: Allianz Riviera

Last Season: 12th

Predicted: 10th

Rivals in Ligue 1: AS Monaco (Fierce, Local), Sporting Club de Bastia (Local), Olympique de Marseille (Local), Athlétic Club Ajaccio (Local)

My Record: W0 D1 L3

Screenshot 2019-02-19 at 20.08.34

Olympique Lyonnais

Nickname: L’OL

Manager: Zlatan Ibrahimovic (1 year, 243 days)

From: Décines-Charpieu

Ground: Parc Olympique Lyonnais

Last Season: 4th

Predicted: 4th

Rivals in Ligue 1: AS Saint-Étienne (Fierce, Local), Olympique de Marseille (Fierce, Competitive), AS Monaco (Competitive), Paris Saint-Germain (Competitive), Girondins de Bordeaux (Competitive)

My Record: W1 D1 L2

Screenshot 2019-02-19 at 20.08.47

Olympique de Marseille

Nickname: L’OM

Manager: Jorge Jesus (230 days)

From: Marseille

Ground: Stade Orange Vélodrome

Last Season: 14th

Predicted: 3rd

Rivals in Ligue 1: Paris Saint-Germain (Fierce, Competitive), Olympique Lyonnais (Fierce, Competitive), AS Monaco (Local), OGC Nice (Local), AS Saint-Étienne (Competitive), Sporting Club de Bastia (Local), Girondins de Bordeaux (Competitive)

My Record: W0 D2 L2

Screenshot 2019-02-19 at 20.09.06

Paris Saint-Germain Football Club

Nickname: Le PSG

Manager: WT Franjo (0 days)

From: Paris

Ground: Parc Des Princes

Last Season: 2nd

Predicted: 1st

Rivals in Ligue 1: Olympique de Marseille (Fierce, Competitive), AS Monaco (Competitive), Olympique Lyonnais (Competitive), Girondins de Bordeaux (Competitive)

Screenshot 2019-02-19 at 20.09.33

Sporting Club de Bastia

Nickname: Le SCB

Manager: Jean-Marie Huriez (3 years, 195 days)

From: Furiani

Ground: Stade Armand Césari

Last Season: 10th

Predicted: 18th

Rivals in Ligue 1: Athlétic Club Ajaccio (Fierce, Local), Olympique de Marseille (Local), OGC Nice (Local), AS Monaco (Local)

My Record: W2 D0 L0

Screenshot 2019-02-19 at 20.09.55

Stade de Reims

Nickname: Les Rouge et Blanc

Manager: Arnaud Bey (1 year, 229 days)

From: Reims

Ground: Stade Auguste Delaune

Last Season: 3rd in Ligue 2 (Beat Bourg-en-Bresse 5-2 on aggregate in the playoff to win promotion)

Predicted: 17th

Rivals in Ligue 1: N/A

My Record: W0 D1 L1

Screenshot 2019-02-19 at 20.10.06

Stade Rennais Football Club

Nickname: Les Rouges et Noirs

Manager: Alaixys Romao (278 days)

From: Rennes

Ground: Roazhon Park

Last Season: 13th

Predicted: 8th

Rivals in Ligue 1: FC Nantes (Fierce, Local), En Avant de Guingamp (Local), FC Lorient (Local)

My Record: W3 D1 L0

Screenshot 2019-02-19 at 20.10.28

So that’s that. Paris Saint-Germain have been made favourites to lift the Ligue 1 title this year, despite not winning the thing since 2021. We have 6 players to Monaco’s 5 in the media’s “Dream Eleven” though, which proves 2 things: A) That we definitely have the upper hand in the title race as far as the media are concerned and B) That this league is in desperate need of at least a 3rd horse in the title race. I doubt it will happen any time soon though and certainly this year at least, the pundits and I agree on the fact that there will be 2 stallions running neck and neck down that final straight. Their names shall be Paris Saint-Germain and AS Monaco, guided by their jockeys WT Franjo and Luis Enrique.

Let’s turn the bastards to glue.

Episode 202 >

The First Step (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep201)

This is going to be fun.

Start from the start with episode 1

< Mini-sode 200.5.5.5.5.5

I stride across the pitch, gazing awestruck around my incredible new home. Well, one of my new homes. Wembley will be fucking surreal once International duty starts up, but I don’t have time to think about that now. For now, my focus is this: The Parc des Princes, in all of it’s glory. Empty now of course, but soon… Very soon in fact, nearly 50,000 fans will fill this exquisite stadium, roaring my team on as we taste success after success. The turf is like carpet, the dugouts are pristine and the football… Oh, the football. The football will be remarkable. I start to actually salivate as my mind wanders to what my future holds in this big, beautiful oval.

207 5 background207 6 background 2

207 8 staff at start207 8 staff at start 2

“Are you drooling?” Comes a voice from behind me.

“A little bit, yeah.” I confess. “Can you blame me?”

“Not really. Amazing, isn’t it?”

“It is that.” I breathe. “Everything signed and sorted?”

“Yep.” Replies Bechkoura brightly. “I’m on board.”

207 15 bechkoura

207 15 bechkoura 2

“Excellent.” I turn to my assistant and smile. “Me and you, Bechkoura, we’re going to get these back on top of this bloody league. We’re going to knock Monaco off their perch and it is going to be magnificent.” He chuckles.

“It won’t be easy.” He replies. “3 years in a row Monaco have won Ligue 1 and that was when PSG had Guardiola. And I’m pretty sure the fact that he was Guardiola is the fact that he was kept on despite going 3 years without winning the league.”

“Yeah, well now they’ve got us.” I reply, an intoxicating insanity coursing through my veins as I continue to smile intently back at him. “We’ll take what the great King Pep hasn’t managed in the last 3 years and we’ll fucking smash it.”

“Sounds good.” He smiles. “What’s the first step?”

“Well,” I begin thoughtfully, “Let’s weigh up our position. It is the 8th of August. We don’t get a pre-season, we’re coming in too late for that. We have…” I check my watch. “2 days, 9 hours and 15 minutes until we play Monaco in the Trophée des Champions. Our best right back is suspended, our best left back is injured, the squad’s lacking fitness, we have a metric arse-load of attacking midfielders and Pep took the liberty of flogging the only defensively-minded ones, Amadou Diawara and Jorrit Hendrix, to Barcelona and Ajax before he fucked off to take the Spain job.” Bechkoura’s face drops markedly. “What do you think the first step should be?”

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

“I… I have no idea” He stammers.

“Me neither.” I beam at his horrified face, before clapping my hands and rubbing them together with anticipation. “This is going to be fun.”

207 9 squad207 9 squad 2

207 7 transfers already.png


My god, there’s some work to be done here. First things first though, why PSG? Why stay in France and not move on to another league? Well to be honest… I tried to move to pastures new. Desperately. The thing is, only 7 months ago I turned down the opportunity to take over at Zenit St Petersburg because I thought that this Summer my stock would have risen enough to secure me a top club job. I banked on getting Auxerre into Europe and having a good Euros with France, but as I’ve had mixed results there, my profile hasn’t quite risen enough to get me into that very top tier. PSG are a massive club, obviously. They’re enormous. But they’ve very much been the second best side in France over the last few years with Monaco well and truly making the top spot their own. I did apply for the Monaco job and was turned down. I also went after Atlético Madrid and I was pretty confident at one point of being appointed as AC Milan manager. I’m not yet considered quite good or proven enough for those jobs, but with PSG’s stock on the decline, they’ve taken a chance on me. If I can get this titan of European football back to the top of Ligue 1 and maybe even a bag their first Champions League win, then the World’s my bloody oyster.

For now though, what else can we do but focus on the Monaco match? Transfers can wait, squad balance can wait, staff overhauls can wait and dreams of Champions League glory can absolutely wait. We need a plan. 2 days is nowhere near enough time to define our system and get up to speed with it, but we need to do something to get us off on the right foot. Monaco have a new manager too, so all bets are off here. We’re both starting from scratch. It’s just me with my new Paris Saint-Germain side against Luis Enrique and Monaco. Arsene Wenger’s retirement from management has started a bit of a chain reaction, with Diego Simeone leaving Bayern to take the City job, Massimilliano Allegri taking his place and vacating Monaco and Enrique coming in from Milan to fill the vacant position. Enrique’s got a 10 day head start on me though, so we need to play catchup.

Screenshot 2019-02-16 at 21.59.27.png

The way I see it, we just need to get through this match so that we can start working on our style in training. Today is the only training session we have with the squad before Monaco so as I say, let’s just get through it. 4-2-3-1 is what I’m used to. 4-2-3-1 is what my players are used to. In lieu of a solid plan, we will play a very standard 4-2-3-1 and I’ll have the chance to assess the players as we go. This is my preliminary XI for Saturday:

Goalkeeper & Vice-Captain – No 13 – Gianluigi Donnarumma

Just so that we’re all on the same page here, as unbalanced as Pep’s left this squad and as long as it’s been since we’ve won the Ligue 1 title, PSG have got some world class quality. What better name could there be to go down first on the team sheet than 25 year old Italy international Gianluigi Donnarumma? Well, probably Monaco’s Sergio Rico, who keeps beating Gianluigi to Ligue 1’s Star Goalkeeper award, but let’s not think about that. He was Star Goalkeeper in 2019 and 2020, he was in the Ligue 1 Team of the Season in 2019, 2020 and 2021. He is an absolute giant of a goalkeeper and has unrivalled aerial ability, as well as lightning fast reflexes, good hands and good speed when rushing out to meet an attacker. He oozes class and it’s about time he stopped picking up silver medals.

Screenshot 2019-02-16 at 20.56.46.png

Right Full Back – No 15 – Renan Henrique de Jesus

As I mentioned before, the player that I consider our “best” right back from my impressions so far is suspended so his introduction will have to wait. Brazil U20 International Renan was signed last Summer from Clube Atlético Mineiro for £19.5M and performed well in the 12 Ligue 1 appearances he made, setting up 5 goals. Although he’s inexperienced, I like Renan. He’s an excellent athlete; Quick, strong and difficult to push off the ball, a natural born leader and incredibly switched on mentally for a 21 year old. The technical side of his game needs some work and we’ll keep on top of that, but he could grow into a world class defender.

Screenshot 2019-02-16 at 21.03.55.png

Right Sided Centre Back – No 5 – Ricardo Ibarra

I’ve obviously met Ibarra a few times before in Ligue 1, but I remember when I first saw him. I’d just steered Auxerre clear of relegation from Ligue 2, was preparing for my first full season in charge and I’d arranged that our final preseason friendly would be against Ricardo’s then club Tottenham Hotspur. My God, he terrified me. I sent an 18 year old Nathan Andre to play up front alone against the Mexican International and he was never ever going to come out on top of that battle. Now 24 and starting his second season in Paris following his £59M transfer, Ibarra is 6’3″, as solid as a brick wall and as fast as a train. His mind is just as quick, his positioning is exemplary and defensively at least, his technical expertise are mouth-watering. He’s not a “modern” centre back that can carry the ball, but as an old fashioned centre back whose job is to kick the shit out of anyone that can carry the ball, he’s one of the best in the World. Ordinarily I’ll want him to play on the left side as is his preference, but more on this in a second.

Screenshot 2019-02-16 at 21.39.29

Left Sided Centre Back – No 4 – Boris Triponez

I don’t want to get off on the wrong foot here, but let me explain my problem with Boris: Boris is a fine defender and in many ways is like a budget Ricardo Ibarra. He’s a Swiss International, 6’0″, strong, fast and unshakeable, quick witted, hard working and very good both positionally and technically for a centre back. My problem is that we have just signed him. Right before I arrived. For £41M from Benfica. Where he wasn’t consistently in the first team. Look, I know money is pretty much irrelevant at the top level of football nowadays and at Auxerre I would’ve given both of my arms to bring Boris in, but this is where my assessment of “A budget Ricardo Ibarra” comes back to bite him on the arse a bit. We’re Paris Saint-Germain. The bar has risen to nearly as high as it will go. The standard we’re looking for here is world class. Could we not have done better for £41M? Or better yet, could we not at least have bloody waited until I was in charge so that I could have a look at him? I might have been able to find someone even better for a better price. But now I’ve got Boris on a 5 year deal and I’m not sure how I feel about him as a defender. He will get a chance to impress me, as evidenced by the fact that he’ll start in the Trophée des Champions, but he will need to impress me. He’s playing on the left side of the centre as he’s more one-footed than Ibarra.

Screenshot 2019-02-16 at 21.39.46

Left Full Back – No 21 – Dobrin Lazarov

As with Renan at right back, Dobby isn’t my first choice for the left back position. Our more senior left back is injured and has missed half of preseason, but he’ll be back soon so you’ll meet him then. Also as with Renan at right back, my first impression of Dobby is: He’s good. Pretty good. Signed from Ludogorets in January, he’s 21 years old, so plenty of time to develop, strong and quick as all the rest, a Bulgarian International already and a good decision maker and potential future leader. Again, his technical side needs strengthening, but that’ll come with time and training. He’s a good prospect and I’m happy with him.

Screenshot 2019-02-16 at 21.40.09

Ball Winning Midfielder & Captain – No 3 – Marquinhos

Yeah… This is where I put some of that classic Franjo “stank” on the ball, isn’t it. Listen, I know. I’m playing a centre back that I’m unsure about at centre back and I have one of the best centre backs of his generation playing in midfield, where he is most likely going to be thoroughly, thoroughly uncomfortable. I know. The thing is, I want to have a midfielder capable of winning the ball in my team and I’m not comfortable with slapping millions of pounds on the table for one on my first day in the job. That’s just not how I’ve ever approached joining a new club. For my money, Marquinhos, a Brazil international, a strong, energetic, hard working and defensively outstanding footballer who is comfortable on the ball has all the tools he needs to play in a supporting ball winning role in midfield. I want to at least try him there before I splash the cash on a ready made replacement for Diawara, who I’m growing increasingly annoyed that I never got the chance to work with. If it goes tits up, he’ll be dropping back alongside Ibarra in future.

Screenshot 2019-02-16 at 21.40.29

Deep Lying Playmaker – No 17 – Rúben Neves

A European champion is in our midst and it’s Portugal’s Rúben “Rolls Royce” Neves. He’ll play alongside Marquinhos in midfield for this game and will be pivotal to the team against Monaco and throughout my tenure, as he is calm and comfortable on the ball, a good set piece taker and he has one of the finest ranges of passing in the league. He’ll be collecting the ball from our defenders and starting our attacks for this match, tying the whole team together. I’m also partial to having a hard working leader about the place and Rúben is exactly that. He was another player to come in last Summer as a part of Pep’s shopping spree and we actually did really good business to get him, paying Liverpool £46M for his services after they’d paid £42M just 2 seasons before. He was excellent for the reds, he was excellent for Pep and he’s going to be excellent for me. I can feel it.

Screenshot 2019-02-16 at 21.50.36.png

Right Winger – No 6 – Kingsley Coman

Well this is awkward, isn’t it. We already know all about Kingsley. I’d say he was a good player for me during my stint as France manager. Not one of the best, but good. He hit the post far more than I would’ve liked and maybe that, combined with the fact that I feel his head was turned by this very club before our Semi-Final of Euro 24, has coloured my opinion of him. Nevertheless, this Season is a fresh start for everyone. Kingsley’s a new £48.5M recruit, re-signing with his boyhood club from Mourinho’s United and I’m a new… Recruit from Auxerre. Let’s shake hands and put your failure behind us, mate. I would have actually quite liked the opportunity to link Coman with Anthony Martial, as they’ve played together for France and Manchester United. Anthony is on our books, has had a few awful years of injury and poor form and I’d like to give him the chance for a new start, but unfortunately he was loaned to Juventus yesterday. I can’t even blame Pep for that one as he was already gone.

Screenshot 2019-02-16 at 21.58.36.png

Screenshot 2019-02-16 at 22.04.52

Advanced Playmaker – No 7 – Silvio Cvitanovic

Germany captain Silvio’s name probably rings a bell from the Euros, where he performed pretty well. I may have already mentioned this but just to emphasise the point, we have a few options in attacking midfield. A £76M January signing from Köln, Silvio gets the nod for this one simply because I think he’s the future of PSG. Physically and mentally quick, skilful, hard working, he has a belting long shot and free kick in his locker, is a fantastic passer and dribbler and has excellent technique. What more is there to say? He’s the future of PSG.

Also, a long throw in taker is always an interesting option.

Screenshot 2019-02-16 at 22.08.17

Left Winger – No 11 – Orlando

I’m a big fan of Orlando. He was signed 3 years ago when PSG paid Santos (The Brazilian one, not my one) £18.5M for his services but he’s played just 39 times for us in those 3 years. I may end up using him as an off-the-bench option like I did initially with Zoun at Auxerre because I love unleashing a lightning fast winger against tired defenders, but he gets the nod today because I want him to show me that he deserves a starting berth. He’s absolutely rapid across the ground, a good decision maker, determined as all hell and he’s dangerous in the final third. We’re going to get on splendidly, me and Orlando.

Screenshot 2019-02-16 at 22.18.34.png

Complete Forward – No 9 – Álvaro Morata

Finally, Álvaro Morata is very much the obvious choice up front. The former Real Madrid man who cost PSG £99M 4 and a half years ago had a disappointing Euros with Spain this Summer and I’m sure he’ll have some choice words for me at some point about that, but he’s solid. Good finisher, good in the air, good with the ball at his feet, good from distance, good mentally and good physically. He’s good. He’s very good. He is 31 and that sticks out to me despite his excellent attributes, so I’ll be keeping an eye out for someone to be his understudy, whether it’s from our squad or elsewhere. For now though, Álvaro’s in.

Screenshot 2019-02-16 at 22.18.45.png

So for now, that’s all I’m going to do. That’s all I really have time to do, aside from get a couple of staff members in. You already know one of them actually. Remember Jérôme Mombris, the veteran left back I had at Auxerre? He’s come and joined back up with me from Valenciennes as a defensive coach. He looks really good.

207 16 mombris

207 16 mombris 2

Oh and of course several high profile names have had their say about my appointment as Paris Saint-Germain boss, my favourite of which is Zlatan Ibrahimovic. The man who got the bloody Lyon job off the back of a very average 358 days in Ligue 2 managing a very average Valenciennes side says that he “did a double take” when he heard I was appointed.

207 3 ibra didn't see it coming

Naturally I responded.

207 11 zlatan shots fired

Naturally Zlatan had no response.

207 12 zlatan gives up

Well, there’ll be time later to settle that particular debate. As it happens, our first Ligue 1 match is away at Zlatan’s Lyon, so we’ll see then whether or not my appointment is “A bit of a strange one”, won’t we. First we’ve got the small matter of the Trophée des Champions to attend to.

207 13 build up

Shall we?

207 14 more build up207 14 more build up 2

Mini-sode 201.5 >

First Impression (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Mini-sode 200.5.5.5.5.5)

It’s a big day, isn’t it. I want to look the part.

Start from the start with episode 1

< Mini-sode 200.5.5.5.5

“How am I looking?” I whisper.

“Nervous.” Giggles Sylvania. I lean forwards, fold my arms and frown.

“How about now?”

“Annoyed…” Sylvania frowns too. “Just try to relax, monsieur.” I will my hands to stop shaking as they fall back against the sofa, but it just can’t be done. I take a deep breath and exhale slowly as a sense of calm washes over me, pushing the nerves to one side. “Better.” She smiles. A long silence follows while we wait for my cue, until Sylvania takes it upon herself to break the tension. “I do not think I ‘ave seen you in a suit before, monsieur Franjo.” She hisses.

“Yeah well it’s a big day, isn’t it. I want to look the part. Get off on the right foot, make a good first impression and all that.”

“Eet ees only a press conference.” Sylvania insists. “You must ‘ave done hundreds!” She reaches out a hand and adjusts the red and black handkerchief in my front jacket pocket.

“Not like this.” I gulp involuntarily as the enormity of sitting in front of that microphone and answering question after question crashes down upon me again. “Not one this… Big.”

“But France-”

“Not the same.” I cut her off. “This one… Well don’t take this the wrong way, but this one means a lot more to me.” She furrows her brow in indignation.

An official looking man with a clipboard and headset hurries into the room and beckons me towards the door without so much as an encouraging smile. “Come on.” He hisses. I down what’s left of my tea and turn to Sylvania, who nods excitedly. With a surprising amount of effort, I then push myself off the sofa, onto my feet and walk towards the man.

“Ladies and gentlemen…” Comes a muffled monotone voice from the other side of the wall. Stopping momentarily, I turn back to Sylvania, who gives me two frantic thumbs up. I turn back to the door, put on my least terrified face and stride on. “Mr WT Franjo,” Continues the voice. “The new head coach of the England men’s national team.”

206.5 14 england approach

206.5 15 appointed

Screenshot 2019-02-15 at 19.25.48

Episode 201 >

The Next Domino (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Mini-sode 200.5.5.5.5)

We will meet again.

Start from the start with episode 1

< Mini-sode 200.5.5.5

The referee checks his watch, raises his whistle to his lips and gives it three sharp blasts to end the match. I stride over to my opposite number Grant Murray and shake his hand before walking towards the Auxerre fans in the away end of Easter Road. Raising my hands above my head, I heartily applaud them for the final time. Their reception is distinctly mixed.

204 13 win.png

I continue to make my way slowly around the perimeter of the pitch, still applauding the Auxerrois faithful. Some of them sing my name and applaud back, smacking their hands together with all of their might. Some of them, from what I can tell a vocal minority, boo me for what they feel is a betrayal against their club. A plastic bottle comes flying narrowly wide of my upraised arms, but I continue to applaud.

Screenshot 2019-02-15 at 19.10.35

A few of the Auxerre players, obviously reading the atmosphere, rally around me and join in in applauding the fans. Hicham Aidir wraps an arm around my shoulders and pumps his fist towards the crowd, shouting something in Arabic. Their presence prompts a cheer from some of the fans.

Screenshot 2019-02-15 at 19.15.02.png

The players are understanding. We’re a close knit bunch and I think they know how big an opportunity this is for me. I may even end up taking a few of them with me, although I’d rather not if I can help it. I really would hate to break up this Auxerre side. As far as I’m concerned, this is goodbye LeGod, goodbye Phil, goodbye Captiste, goodbye Joël and… My stomach clenches uncomfortably… Goodbye, Hicham.

Screen Shot 2018-07-21 at 18.56.51.png

My very first Auxerre match was a Ligue 2 relegation scrap away against local rivals Troyes and my last, over 3 years later, has been away at Hibernian; The goalless and pretty eventless first leg of a Europa League qualifying match. But now I have to go. I need to do this. I am the next domino to fall in a chain that I began myself during the Euros.

This is goodbye, Auxerre, but not forever.

We will meet again.

Screen Shot 2018-07-21 at 19.34.34.png

Mini-sode 200.5.5.5.5.5 >

Year 8 World Roundup (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Mini-sode 200.5.5.5)

It’s about that time, isn’t it?

Start from the start with episode 1

< Mini-sode 200.5.5

I allow my suitcase to topple onto the floor as I slam the door of my flat, march over to the bed and flop down face-first onto the sheets. Turning onto my back, I let a wide smile cross my face. That was alright. That actually went well! I could be the manager of bloody… No. Now is not the time for complacency. Until I’ve signed on the dotted line, I’m still on the job hunt.

I drag myself over to where my laptop lies closed on the bedside table, lift it onto my lap and open it. I really should upgrade this thing at some point. As I load chrome and begin to skim the football headlines, searching for signs that any clubs might be looking for a new head honcho, a thought occurs to me. It’s about that time, isn’t it? We may as well have a look at what’s been going on around the top leagues in 2023/24.

Screenshot 2019-02-10 at 19.30.41

After Arsenal won 3 consecutive Premier League titles from 2017-2019 and Manchester United did the same from 2020-2022, all eyes were on Unai Emery’s Chelsea this season, who clinched the top spot in 2023. Could they repeat the feat of their 2 rivals by retaining the title? Short answer – No. Long answer – There was absolutely no chance that former Blues boss José Mourinho was ever going to let that happen, was there? Moo’s Red Devils reclaimed the throne and in the end it wasn’t even close, with the nearest challengers, Mauricio Pochettino’s Tottenham, stranded 6 points behind the rampant reds as Mourinho secured the Manager of the Year award for the 4th time in his Premier League career. His long time rival Arsene Wenger had a pretty good season too, restoring Manchester City to the Champions League places in 3rd place behind Spurs. Emery’s Chelsea could only manage a 4th place finish as they failed spectacularly to hold onto their title, eventually finishing 12 points short. Chelsea old boy Didier Deschamps has now been installed as Emery’s inevitable successor. In the isolation chamber that is 5th place, Carlo Ancelotti’s Gunners finished 13 points shy of Chelsea and 7 points clear of Antonio Conte’s Liverpool, who failed to make Europe for the 2nd successive season.

Down at the bottom end of the table, Alex Neil’s 5 year spell in charge of Brighton and Hove Albion came to an abrupt end in December with the Seagulls propping up the division and their decision to appoint Rob Page, who had himself just been sacked by a relegation-threatened Sunderland, did them no favours as Brighton finished last by a distance. The real shock relegation was Jason Tindall’s Bournemouth, who hadn’t finished anywhere close to the bottom 3 since 2018 when they finished 15th. They’d actually finished in the top 9 4 times since then, but nothing went right for the Cherries this campaign and they eventually finished 19th, 6 points short of safety. Hopefully they hang on to some of their top assets so that new manager Ernesto Valverde can have them bounce straight back up to the top tier next season. The last relegated team was John Kennedy’s Hull City, which I think we can all agree is a downright shame… I choose to believe I had a direct impact by refusing to let him sign all of my pissing players.

The last day of the season was extraordinarily tight down at the bottom end of the Premier League, with Roberto Di Matteo’s Crystal Palace on 38 points, Kennedy’s Hull on 39, Gareth Ainsworth’s Fulham, António Carvalho’s Leicester and… Sigh… Last year’s FA Cup winners Everton, now managed by Magnus Pehrsson on 40 and Jason Tindall’s West Brom on 41. Any of the 6 could technically have gone down, but Everton and Leicester finished the campaign with wins over Southampton and Burnley to save themselves and crucially, Crystal Palace absolutely thumped Fulham at Craven Cottage, resigning not the Cottagers themselves but Hull, who lost to West Ham, to relegation. I’m sure the Tigers will be fine though, they’ve appointed… Oh. They’ve appointed one Peter Crouch as their new manager.

Screenshot 2019-02-15 at 19.52.30.png

Screenshot 2019-02-10 at 19.31.08

United’s Golden Glove winner David De Gea took the goalie’s spot in the Team of the Year. He’s 33 now though so give it 10 years and maybe we’ll have a bit of fucking variation in this segment. I’m only kidding, we do actually have a fair bit of variation in defence this year: Chelsea’s Aymeric Laporte is in after yet another stellar campaign, but he’s joined by Spurs’ Eric Dier and Arsenal’s Hector Bellerín, who make their first appearances in the Premier League TOTY since I’ve been keeping track. The final defender is Álex Grimaldo, the 28 year old who United paid Real Madrid £31.5M for last Summer and who had an excellent debut campaign in England. The midfield is pretty much exactly the same as it was last season, with Spurs’ Dele Alli and United’s Paul Pogba joined by City’s Kevin De Bruyne, but this year Thomas Lemar also makes his TOTY bow in his first full Premier League season. The outstanding French winger also won the Footballer of the Year and Players’ Player of the Year awards for his efforts. Up front… Do you know what, I had to double check my research when I realised this, but Tottenham’s Harry Kane has made the Team of the Year for the first time since I’ve started looking! Harry Kane! Madness. The 30 year old was the second highest scorer in the Premier League behind his compatriot; Stoke’s Joe Bell, who was rewarded by not being named in Eddie Howe’s squad for the Euros. At least he’s named in this squad, eh?

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Down to the Championship then and there were 2 runaway promotion candidates this year: Shane Long’s Watford finished 2nd on a nice round 100 points, which wasn’t entirely surprising as they’d only just been relegated last year, but narrowly missing out on breaking the record for most points in a Championship Season was Gary Bowyer’s Wolves! They fell just 1 point shy of breaking Reading’s 18 year old record but that won’t dampen their spirits much, because they’re coming back to the top division for the first time since 2012. Stevie Crawford’s Derby County weren’t a million miles away from the top 2, but they were knocked out 5-1 on aggregate in the Playoff Semi-Finals by Robbie Neilson’s Nottingham Forest, who finished a full 26 points below them. Michael Laudrup’s Middlesbrough went down with a bit more fight in their Semi-Final against John Ebbrell’s Newcastle as that tie finished 4-3 on aggregate. It was Ebbrell’s men that finally won promotion too, seeing off plucky Forest 2-1 in the Final.

Down at the bottom, Jon Whitney couldn’t quite scrape Walsall over the line and they were relegated back to League 1 along with Emerson’s Preston North End. Both managers have since been replaced by Graham Coughlan and Adrián López. At the very bottom of the pile was Adrián’s former club Wigan Athletic, who are yet to appoint a new manager after sacking Kieren Westwood. Veering off on a tangent for a moment, I took a look at Kieren and up until this relegation he was putting together a nice little CV and looked/looks quite a promising manager. Decent spells at Tranmere, Burton and Bury, then he actually saved Wigan last year. I took a moment to wonder why a former goalkeeper had retired early enough to have had 4 managerial jobs before the age of 40. What had a once solid enough goalie done or seen at the tender age of 34 to make him retire so young? Then I realised that he’d hung up his gloves immediately after a failed trial for yours truly at GKS Katowice. That’s when he knew he was finished as a player and I must say I understand all to well what a gut punch that must have been. So 5 years down the line, Kieren, for what it’s worth… Erm… Sorry about that.

Screenshot 2019-02-15 at 20.46.17.png

Screenshot 2019-02-10 at 19.34.12

After watching Everton, Watford and Bournemouth all lift the Carabao Cup in the last 4 years, it’s becoming more and more clear that the mid-to-low-range of Premier League Clubs are taking the domestic Cups more and more seriously. This year though, the Final was between 2 good clubs that finished in the top half – Leonardo Jardim’s Stoke, who finished 8th in the Premier League to only fall slightly short of last year’s 5th place finish and Brian McClair’s Southampton, who have had a string of bottom half finishes since winning promotion in 2019 but who finished this season just behind Stoke in 9th. Stoke fought off Chelsea in the Fourth Round, a club who had been runners-up in the competition for 2 consecutive years, before also squeezing past West Brom and vanquishing Manchester United to get to the Final. Southampton had possibly an even trickier road to Wembley, seeing off Tottenham on penalties, Everton in extra time and Manchester City in a 7 goal thriller.

Screenshot 2019-02-10 at 19.44.47

In the end the scoreline of the final flattered the Saints. Not in a bad way mind you, it’s just that it was a very even game and Stoke had as many chances as their opponents to snatch victory. Sofiane Boufal, Brahim Diaz and Nany Dimata bagged a goal apiece to send their team back to the South Coast with their first ever Carabao Cup in hand.

Screenshot 2019-02-10 at 19.46.10

Screenshot 2019-02-10 at 19.45.01

Stoke and Southampton actually earned themselves a rematch in the FA Cup Sixth Round, which took place just 2 weeks after the Saints’ Victory and this time it was Stoke who claimed the win on penalties, only to lose to Manchester United in the Semi-Final. United swept Fulham aside and eventually grabbed a comfortable extra time win over Crystal Palace before beating Stoke and booking themselves a place in the final. The other finalists Bournemouth beat West Brom, Peterborough and last year’s winners Everton to earn a showdown with the league leaders.

Screenshot 2019-02-10 at 19.45.35

For Manchester United this looked like a routine victory: 90 minutes at Wembley in which to see off an already relegated side. Bournemouth had other plans though and channeling their inner Wigan Athletic, they took the lead despite United’s domination through Lewis Cook after 22 minutes. Tommy Morris equalised before half time for Mourinho’s men, but whatever Valverde said at half time worked a treat, because Emiljano Pllumbaj clinched the winning goal within seconds of the restart. Bournemouth may be preparing for a season in the Championship, but after winning their very first Carabao Cup last season and seeing their local rivals repeat the feat just months ago, they’ve at least ensured that the fans have a reason to smile over the Summer by bagging their very first FA Cup.

Screenshot 2019-02-10 at 19.45.58

Screenshot 2019-02-10 at 19.45.13

Screenshot 2019-02-10 at 19.41.08

This one will really hurt for Atlético Madrid. With 5 matches of the La Liga campaign to play, the top spot was Deschamps’ to lose and the last real hurdle was their match against reigning champions, Jürgen Klopp’s Barcelona. In the 13th minute Atléti were in dreamland when Aaron Martín put them ahead, but seconds later Neymar equalised and then Rafinha turned the tables before half time. The match went to Barca and although Atléti won all 4 of their remaing matches, their rivals did the same. Klopp’s Catalonians retain the La Liga title in their first season following the retirement of Leo Messi, finishing 2 points clear at the top. Real Madrid finished a fairly distant 3rd place again under Rodolfo Borrell, while Marcelo Gallardo’s Sevilla improved to clinch the final Champions League place. Valencia continue to yoyo up and down the league table and after the sacking of Iban Andrés in January, David Navarro become the latest in a string of managers hopeful of restoring some stability to a historically very significant club. Their last 5 managers have lasted around 18 months on average though, so very best of luck to him. I also want to give a congratulatory shout out to CD Tenerife, who managed to keep themselves clear of relegation in La Liga for the first time since 1998. It probably sounds like I’m taking the piss, but that really is quite pleasing. Good job to their manager Juan Carlos Moreno and their star striker, who I’ll come to in a second.

Screenshot 2019-02-10 at 19.41.30

The Team of the Year is made up almost entirely of players from the top 4, and we’ll start as per usual with Goalkeeper of the Year Marc-André ter Stegen, who keeps his place between the sticks for the 3rd successive year. Ahead of Marc, his Barcelona teammates Sergi Roberto and Samuel Umtiti are selected in defence along with Wilfred Ndidi and Raphaël Guerreiro of Real Madrid. In midfield, Real’s La Liga Player of the Year Eden Hazard retains his place, with Barca’s Neymar also in on the left. Between them are José Luis Hernández of Atlético Madrid and Sergi Samper of Sevilla. Up front we have a refreshing break from the formula of “Messi + A. Nother” thanks to the Argentinian’s retirement, so 2 new faces are inducted into the Team of the Year Hall of fame: Top Spanish goalscorer Guayre Camacho of Tenerife makes the cut for notching 17 goals in 33 appearances and arguably keeping his team afloat single-handedly, as does the league’s top scorer, Sevilla’s uncapped Argentinian Enzo Abba, who scored 20 goals in 35.

In case you were wondering, as many as 15 clubs are rumoured to be interested in Tenerife academy graduate Guayre Camacho, who has put in a transfer request. The likes of Feyenoord, Chievo, Crystal Palace, Bordeaux, Standard Liège, Wolfsburg, Spartak Moscow and Villareal have all been suggested as potential destinations, so sadly I’m going to go ahead and predict that Tenerife will be back in the bottom 3 at the end of 2024/25.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Screenshot 2019-02-10 at 19.41.48

It’s time for my latest award, which I have just come up with and which I call Franjo’s “You Fucking Hero” Award. Or FYFHA for short. It sounds sort of like FIFA when you say it as a word, so there could be legal issues further down the line, but never mind. The Winner of the very first FYFHA is Bayer Leverkusen’s Roger Schmidt, for finally, finally knocking Bayern off their perch and giving me something to talk about in my Bundesliga segment of the World Roundup. Thanks to the remarkable 25 goals scored by Dutch Euro 24 highlight Thomas Buitink, the staggering 20 assists laid on by Captain Atakan Akkaynak, the considerable contributions by key players Kai Havertz, Richard Motupa (Who was signed on a free from South African side Sundowns last season. I really missed a trick there), Santi Mina, Emanuel Mammana and Timo Horn, Bayer are worthy Champions. Despite losing both of their matches against, scoring 5 fewer goals than and conceding 5 more than Diego Simeone’s side this campaign, Bayer finished 3 points clear at the top and gave German football some much needed variation. You Fucking Hero, Bundesliga Manager of the Year Roger Schmidt.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

I do find it slightly funny by the way that after finishing as runners up to Bayern in 5 of the last 6 seasons, Thomas Tuchel’s Dortmund managed to stay slightly behind them even as they slipped to 2nd place for the first time since 2012. Anyway I should probably take my nose out of Bayer’s collective backside for a second and mention the rest of the league. Markus Babbel’s Red Bull Leipzig finished in their usual spot just outside the Champions League places and were joined by André Schubert’s Schalke 04 and Markus Weinzieri’s Wolfsburg, both of whom have been out of European football for a fair while. It’s pleasing to see Wolfsburg back in particular as they’ve really been yoyoing up and down the table since winning promotion back to the Bundesliga in 2018. It’d be good to see them actually keep a consistent position in the top half of the league now. At the other end, Freiburg will be gutted to have been relegated under former manager Sandro Schwarz. They dropped into the bottom 3 in their penultimate game, losing to Schalke as Hamburg overtook them with a win over Stuttgart under caretaker manager Peter Niemeyer. Hamburg even gave them a chance on the final day by only drawing with Borussia Mönchengladbach, but Freiburg themselves could only manage a 0-0 draw with Axel Bellinghausen’s Augsburg. Ingolstadt will feel even worse about the drop if anything though, as after a fairly decent first half of the season they picked up just 10 points in 2024, costing Stephan Schmidt his job. Ralph Hassenhüttl has now taken over at Hamburg, former Middlesbrough player Emanuel Pogatetz has got the job of bringing Ingolstadt back up and Freiburg are still looking.

Screenshot 2019-02-10 at 19.42.05

As I mentioned, Timo Horn was one of the top performers for champions Bayer Leverkusen, picking up 8 clean sheets in the league. He gets a spot in the Team of the Year, as do RBL’s Levin Öztunali and Bayern trio Mats Hummels, Joshua Kimmich and David Alaba, who make up the defence. Aforementioned Leverkusen midfield duo Akkaynak and Havertz are also selected, just behind teammate Buitink, while Leipzig’s Jan Rische and Schalke’s Vitor Magalhães, on loan from Arsenal, are on the wings. Up front is the man who despite Bayern’s slip up this year just keeps growing in reputation: Euro 24 Young Player of the Tournament, Bundesliga Footballer of the Year, Top Goalscorer, Players’ Player of the Year and Players’ Newcomer of the Year Christopher Dieckmann. I’m not sure about the “Newcomer” award by the way, because Chris made his Bundesliga bow in the 2019/20 season with Dortmund before his £56M transfer to his current club. Seems like a bit of a bargain that, doesn’t it.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Screenshot 2019-02-10 at 19.42.55

Roma are back on top! Bloody hell, it’s been a good year for surprise title wins hasn’t it? United aside, I suppose. I worried last season that after Luis Enrique’s AC Milan ended Juve’s stranglehold on Serie A, they might start to dominate the division themselves. This year belongs to Manager of the Year Luciano Spalletti’s Roma though as they ran out with a 5 point cushion over the Champions to bag their second Scudetto in 7 years. Juve looked pretty nailed on to finish as runners up, especially after beating the eventual title winners in their penultimate game, but Matteo Brighi’s side lost to René Weiler’s Fiorentina on the final day and allowed both Enrique’s Milan and Oleg Luzhnyi’s Inter to leapfrog them and send them down to 4th. Outside the top 4, the European places went to Andrea Stramaccioni’s Genoa, who’ve been knocking on the door for the last 2 years, Marco Giampaolo’s Lazio, who only came back up to the division 2 years ago and Alessandro Budel’s Napoli, who despite registering their lowest league position since 2009, got themselves into the Europa League by winning the Coppa Italia. Down at the other end of the table, Eusebio Di Francesco’s Sampdoria were relegated from Serie A for the first time since 2011, finishing a single point behind Michele Serena’s Frosinone. The pair met in their penultimate match but it ended as a 1-1 stalemate, effectively dashing any lingering Sampdoria hope of survival as their last match was a routine defeat by AC Milan.

Screenshot 2019-02-10 at 19.43.18

There’s still a big Juve presence in the Team of the Year as always, starting with Goalkeeper of the Year Gerónimo Rulli, who kept 14 clean sheets over the course of the season, making him the league’s best goalkeeper for the 5th time in 6 years, the same amount of times he’s been picked in the TOTY. In front of him are his ever-reliable teammates Nacho and Defender of the Year Leonardo Bonucci, the latter of which has decided to finally hang up his boots after a remarkable 20 year career in Italian football. After being one of the very few ever-presents in a Team of the Year since I started doing these reviews, allow me to just say: Good riddance, let’s get some new faces in the team. Just kidding. Enjoy your retirement, Leonardo. On either side of the Juve pair are Roma’s Rick Karsdorp and Napoli’s Elseid Hysaj, with Juventus’ William Carvalho just in front as the defensive midfielder. In the centre of midfield, we have a couple of AC Milan players; You may remember Lincoln from last season, when he tried to win every single award going. Well this year, he’s won the Midfielder of the Year, Foreign Player of the Year and Player of the Year. He didn’t win the Fans’ Player of the Year though, as that honour went to his young Portuguese teammate John Iddi. Up front, Roma’s Mo Salah was selected as one of the trio for the 6th time in 7 years, alongside Juve’s Florin Andone and Inter’s Serie A Striker of the Year and Top Goalscorer Agustín Malbernat.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

It’s fair to say that the Bundesliga clubs dominated the European cups this season. First to the Europa League, where Köln scraped through to the final, beating both Stoke and Sporting Lisbon on away goals en route, to meet Hertha Berlin, who themselves had had quite an impressive run; beating Chaves, Sevilla and Oympiakos in the knockout rounds.

Screenshot 2019-03-01 at 21.04.04

Robert Bouer got Berlin off to a flying start at Stockholm’s Friends Arena, scoring within the first minute to get his side on their way. Köln equalised before the break through Rafail Inebolidis, after which neither side was able to find the breakthrough before the end of normal time. Before half time in extra time though the game was pretty much over, with Emmanuel Addo and Tim Leibold both scoring to put the result beyond doubt for Hertha. In the end it’s been a really successful season for the Berlin side: A midtable Bundesliga finish is perhaps a bit disappointing, but they’ve more than made up for that with their first ever Europa League trophy.

Screenshot 2019-03-01 at 21.04.33

In the Champions League meanwhile, Bundesliga winners Leverkusen were knocked out right after the group stages. They were demolished by Atléti but can probably get away with the excuse that they were focussing on the league. Atléti were eventually knocked out by Bayern in the Semi-Final, completing the German side’s Spanish treble after they beat Real and Barcelona in the previous rounds. This set up an Estadio de Madrid Final against Borussia Dortmund, who were possibly even more impressive, beating Italian champions Roma, French champions Monaco and English champions Manchester United en route to the final match.

Screenshot 2019-03-01 at 21.10.04

Dortmund got off to an extraordinarily bad start when Andrea Belotti scored a 9th minute opener to put Bayern ahead just minutes before defender Giovanni Rocca earned his marching orders. Nevertheless they responded well, with Michael Mohammed equalising just 10 minutes later. In a tense second half, Timothy Tillman was the man to score the 3rd and final goal just before the hour, sending Bayern home rueing their missed opportunity and allowing Dortmund to lift the Champions League trophy for the first time in 27 years.

Screenshot 2019-03-01 at 21.11.09

So that’s it. Christ, this has been a long Summer hasn’t it. With the Euros and the reviews… And the bit in between where nothing really happened for a few months… I don’t know about you but I’m ready to get my teeth stuck into the new season. It’s nearly time.

Mini-sode 200.5.5.5.5 >

Year 8 Review (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Mini-sode 200.5.5)

We’ve got some reviewing to do. 

My latest short story is The Driving Instructor. I like it.

Start from the start with episode 1

< Mini-sode 200.5

Jesus, year 8. It’s certainly been a season with highs and lows, as eye-rollingly clichéd a sentiment as that is. The Euros are obviously still a fresh wound but lest ye forget, AJ Auxerre will be playing Europa League football next season! I’m keen to leave them to it and move on to pastures new, but let’s stick a pin in that particular conversation for now, because we’ve got some reviewing to do.

Screenshot 2019-02-10 at 18.24.46.png

France

Honours: None

Record: W11 D1 L2

Key Players: Djibril Sidibé, Raphaël Varane, Aymeric Laporte, Lucas Digne, Adrien Rabiot, Tiémoué Bakayoko, Kingsley Coman, Paul Pogba, Kylian Mbappé, Thomas Lemar

Highlight: Our 6-2 Euro 24 2nd Round win over Spain.

Lowlight: Our 4-5 Euro 24 Semi-Final loss to Belgium, which cost me my job.

It was always going to be a tough gig. Not tough in the conventional sense, like Höllviken or Katowice, but in the sense that my predecessor Arsene Wenger had given me a hell of an act to follow. He’d won the bloody World Cup and just to put the icing on top of the gâteau, so had his predecessor Didier Deschamps. I sat at the top table of World football for 2 years, laying waste to lesser sides as my France team tore through the European International League and the European Championship Qualifiers alike. I leapt and punched the air as we punished Italy and Portugal in the EIL Semi-Final and Final in 2023, beating the Euro 24 hosts 5-4 in extra time and the now European Champions 5-1. I leapt with glee as we came back from a 2 goal deficit to draw with England at Euro 24, I hid behind my hands as we crept past Denmark and Georgia and a little bit of wee came out as we decimated both Spain and Ukraine on the road to the Semi-Final. But then along came Belgium. And the rest, as they say, is history.

If Rabiot’s piledriver hadn’t pinged off the bar, if Digne’s shot hadn’t crashed off the post or if Varane hadn’t committed the terrible, horrible offence against Dendoncker that we all saw and that resulted in a penalty, maybe things would’ve been different. Similarly, if I had been more pragmatic, focussing on a defence-first approach to nullify our opposition and catch them on the counter, maybe things would’ve been different. In fact, if I had the chance to do it all again, do you know what I’d change?

Fuck all. Je ne regrette fucking rien.

Franjo’s Self-Assessment Score for France 2023/24

6.5/10 – If we’d scraped past Belgium, this could easily have turned into a 9 or maybe a 10, but we didn’t. For the most part I did what I set out to do: We scored goals upon goals upon goals during the qualifiers and tournament proper, playing attractive and exciting football. But it just wasn’t enough.

Screenshot 2019-02-10 at 19.19.12

Association de la Jeunesse Auxerroise

Final Position: 6th

Record: W21 D6 L15

Key Players: Xavier “LeGod” Lenogue, Celsiney Andre, Mamadou Doucouré, Loïc Goujon, Lamine Fomba, Abdoulaye Sissako, Phil Foden, Brahim Ferhat, Nathan Andre, Hicham Aidir

Highlight: Our 6th place finish, which earns Auxerre a spot in the Europa League qualifiers for 2024/25

Lowlight: Our 3-6 thrashing away at Nantes

It’s a bit jarring after the last month or so to be reminded of how remarkable and excellent this season has been on the whole. After an uneasy first year back in Ligue 1, Hicham Aidir and Nathan Andre rediscovered their goalscoring form, Celsiney grew into a first team player who looked like he’d been one for years, Foden and Ferhat cemented themselves as Ligue 1 footballers and players like Fomba, Goujon and Captiste were as excellent and as reliable as ever. For the most part. After an excellent first half of the season, we did struggle slightly after Christmas to pick up any sort of momentum, but we came through in the end. A late season flurry of goals from Andre, combined with performances from players like Foden, Fomba and Ferhat saw us over the line in the race for Europe for the first time in 14 years. Or to put it another way; For the first time since Celsiney was 4 years old.

206.5.5 1 best xi206.5.5 1 best xi 2

Auxerre fans’ Player of the Season and Young Player of the Season was Big Phil Foden and it’s difficult to argue otherwise. Few players stayed consistent throughout the entire season but Phil proved himself as a goal and assist machine, hitting the back of the net 12 times and setting his team mates up on 10 other occasions. Nathan Andre’s end of season heroics are clearly still fresh in the fans’ minds as he scoops 2nd place, with another academy lad, Brahim Ferhat, placing 3rd in a season where none other than Real Madrid have been monitoring him with extreme interest. Loïc Goujon, an often understated presence in Auxerre’s midfield/defence, won the Goal of the Season award for his cracking effort against Marseille, while Signing of the Season, almost by default, is Mamadou Doucouré. I didn’t exactly outdo myself in terms of incoming transfers this year, with loanee goalkeeper Vladimir used rotationally, loanee left back Rogério used extremely sparingly, goalkeeper Ibrahima Gaye a prospect for the fairly distant future and winger Amine Reynier in need of quite a lot of development. Nevertheless though, my first transfer was hands down my best. Mamadou Doucouré enjoyed a tremendous season on loan with us in 2022/23 and signing him on a free was not only good business, but pivotal to our excellent season.

206.5.5 3 awards

Auxerre’s Top Goalscorer is a two way tie this season, with Nathan Andre almost doubling his tally from last year and Hicham Aidir finding the magic touch that deserted him in that horrible, injury-plagued 2022/23 season. Both players scored 17 goals, with Nathan Andre rated the highest on average out of anyone in the squad to boot. Keep in mind that our Moroccan vice-captain is 23 years old and Nathan’s about to turn 21. These lads are going to be alright in Ligue 1. Foden’s 10 assists is the best in the squad, Raf as always was our tidiest retainer of the ball and Phil also split the most Player of the Match awards record for the year with Captiste. Both players picked up 4. Discipline-wise, Loïc Goujon still sticks out like a sore thumb with 2 red cards, but at least he has company this year in picking up 13 yellow cards, the same as his midfield partner Abi Sissako.

206.5.5 3 stats

206.5.5 4 season review

206.5.5 5 commercial summary

In our Ligue 2 season together, the Auxerre statistics were a joy to pour through. Last season, as we clawed ourselves clear of relegation, they were not. I’m intrigued to see how we measured up this year but it’s clear to me that some things never change with my teams. We’re strong in the air, evidenced by our finishing 2nd in the “Headers won” charts with 2121, and we… Well let’s be generous and say that we fight for the shirt, evidenced not only by our finishing 3rd in “Tackles won” (633), but also by our finishing 3rd in the yellow and red card tables (74 & 5) and the very top of the fouls table (529). Also in keeping with tradition, we had the 5th lowest salary bill in the league (£11.43M), but what is a pleasant surprise is that we also finished 5th in “Goals Scored” (65).

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

I want to give a special mention once again to Andre and Aidir, who came joint 5th (15) and joint 9th (14) in the league respectively in terms of goals scored, meaning that Nathan Andre finished on par with bloody Kylian Mbappé! I knew I should’ve taken him to the Euros. The pair also finished 2nd (114.33) and 8th (153.14) respectively in the “Minutes per goal” table. They really have had quite a season.

Phil Foden and Captiste were also high up on in the charts, with Phil making the 3rd (44) most key passes in Ligue 1, while Captiste was 3rd (87%) in terms of his percentage of headers won.

I’m so proud of the job I’ve done at Auxerre. Look at them, preparing for their Europa League qualifier after finishing 6th in Ligue 1. Look at Xavier Lenogue. Look at Captiste. Look at Goujon, Raf, Sissako, Fomba, Ferhat and Andre. 3 years ago they were all staring into the abyss, contemplating whether their contracts would be renewed should the club slide out of the arse end of Ligue 2. Bloody look at them now! Ligue 1 players to a man, with Europe on the horizon. 4 of them are French internationals! And yes, fine, we can debate how biased I was towards them until the cows come home but from where I’m sat, Abi Sissako, Lamine Fomba, Brahim Ferhat and Nathan Andre all deserved their call ups. To be honest, Celsiney and Goujon probably deserved to be in a squad or two as well. I’ve spent 3 of my 8 years in management here in Auxerre and fucking hell it’s been the best 3 years so far. It’ll be a wrench to leave, regardless of who it is that I eventually sign with, but the time’s right. If I’d have left last year I would’ve worried that they might not stay in the division after I’d gone. After all, this time last season we’d just beaten the drop in the penultimate match. Now I can leave with a clear conscience, content that I’ve turned around a mighty ship that had been sailing in the wrong direction for too long. I’ve steered her away from the rocks, I’ve fixed up the engines, I’ve swabbed the decks and I’ve given her a new coat of paint for good measure. I can leave secure in the knowledge that smooth sailing surely awaits for this beautiful club.

Franjo’s Self-Assessment Score for Auxerre 2023/24

9/10 – Europe and stability. I could’ve barely asked for more.

Screenshot 2019-02-10 at 19.19.50

Santos Football Club

Do I expect too much from Santos? Possibly. It breaks my bloody heart though to see them right back where they were before our fantastic 5th place finish. In 3 Franjo-less years they’ve finished 12th, 11th and 11th again. Over that period, they’ve spent £275k of the £1.5M I invested in the Santos 4, which isn’t awful, but I just wish Boebie and Mr Allie would show a bit more ambition. I do notice that they’ve kept a lot of their team together this Summer though after last year’s mass exodus. The only player that’s left permanently is Mandla Masango, the tricky winger who was actually one of my favourite signings for Santos. He’s hung up his boots and is persueing a career as a scout. Good luck, Mandla.

Screenshot 2019-02-14 at 19.39.36.png

Screenshot 2019-02-10 at 19.20.06

The Principality of Liechtenstein

Liechtenstein are still very… Very Liechtenstein. In the last year they’ve lost 7 out of their 8 matches, but did manage a 1-1 draw against Macedonia in March. I will hold my hands up and admit that France’s 17-1 aggregate win in the Euro 24 qualifiers probably didn’t do Liechtenstein’s confidence much good though. Keep plugging away, Mario.

Screenshot 2019-02-10 at 19.20.25

Górniczy Klub Sportowy Katowice

As much as their name still sends shivers down my spine, I’m pleased that Katowice are still holding their own in the Lotto Ekstraklasa. This season was probably actually a bit of a disappointment for GieKSa as they finished 10th in the league, going on to then finish 2nd in the Relegation Group. It’s not bad, but they’ve been in the Promotion Group more often than not since my departure so let’s hope they drag themselves back into the top half next year under Tomasz Mazurkiewicz. The sad news from this season is that Katowice actually finished a single place above my former assistant manager Dennis Lawrence’s Jagiellonia in the Relegation Group and Dennis has been sacked this Summer as a result, so far failing to secure another job.

Screenshot 2019-02-10 at 19.20.41

Sport Clube Angrense

For good old SC Angrense it’s another 9th place finish in the Liga Pro, replicating their position from last season. I keep half hoping that I’ll find out in my research that Gonçalo Monteiro’s men have climbed into the Liga Nos, but as it stands they’re still a very secure mid-table side in the 2nd tier of Portuguese football and things could certainly be a lot worse. Maybe if Valadão’s coaching skills pick up a bit, they’ll be able to bring through a bit of a golden generation of academy graduates to win them promotion. I hope so.

Screenshot 2019-02-10 at 19.20.56

FC Höllviken

How about freshening the squad up a bit, lads?

I’m off for an interview tomorrow, which if it goes well, will determine the next team to enter this list. Keep your fingers crossed.

Mini-sode 200.5.5.5 >

The Same Bloody Offers (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Mini-sode 200.5)

I want to step up!

Start from the start with episode 1

< Euro 24 Finale

“Norwich?”

“No”, I sigh.

206.5.5.5 2 norwich int

“Hull City?”

“Obviously not!” I bury my head in my hands and groan. “These are the same bloody offers I’ve been getting for 3 years! I want to step up!”

206.5.5.5 1 hull int

“Well it might be difficult, that’s all.” Replies Bechkoura carefully. “What with the Euros and everything.”

“We got to the semis, that’s still an achievement!” I snap. Bechkoura screws up his face.

“Is it though?” He says, slightly dickishly. I stare back in disbelief.

“Oh don’t you bloody start. Look, the-”

“Age of the squad etc, I know. And you had to stick to your principles and you hit the woodwork twice and blah, blah, blah. I’ve heard it all before, but we still should’ve gone further.”

“Oh well thanks very much. And I suppose they’re still letting you stick around as assistant to the next bloke, are they?” Bechkoura shifts uncomfortably in his chair, answering my question. “Unbelievable.”

“Some of the staff quit in protest, remember.” He offers.

“Becky Knight quit in protest. That’s one person. And I’m pretty sure she only did it because she thinks if I get the England job I’ll take her with me.”

206.5 10 cheers becky.png

“And will you?”

“Well it’s fucking moot isn’t it, because I’ve not heard a peep about it! Maybe once they see me rocking up at Carrow Road with my tail between my legs the FA’ll be all over me again though.” I exhale in a long, frustrated whistle and continue with forced calmness. “Have we heard back from any of the big hitters? Atléti? Monaco? Milan? These are the kind of jobs I should be looking at, not Norwich and definitely not fucking Hull.” Bechkoura shuffles through his notes.

“As I say, it’s difficult… Atléti have said no I think. No response from the others yet. Shouldn’t you have a PA or something to handle all this for you? Or an agent?” I let out another groan and glance at the door, half-expecting the word to somehow summon her, but it remains closed. I turn back to Bechkoura, relieved.

Suddenly, the door bursts open and in the doorway stands an odd looking lady. She’s fairly young with short, spiky and recently bleached blonde hair, big brown eyes and a pair of trendy looking glasses perched on the end of her slightly crooked nose. Her face, which has been gaunt and even slightly emaciated the last couple of times I’ve seen her, is back to its usual full and cheery self. “Bonjour, Monsieurs!” Beams Sylvania.

“Not a fucking chance!” I reply. “There is no way you… It… You had to be waiting out there for your cue or something.” She furrows her brow in apparent confusion. “Your timing is literally unbelievable.”

“Eet ees coincidence I am sure!” She squeaks.

“It’s voodoo.” I reply flatly.

“Non monsieur, I ‘ave just always ‘ad ze finest timing!” She giggles through her trademark cheshire cat grin. I sink into my chair.

“Have you at least got good news? Wait, are you still my agent actually?” I ask. She shrugs.

“Officially, it is unclear, but I do ‘ave something that may interest you.” She hands me a slip of paper, on which is written a name, a date and a time. Then Sylvania basks for a moment in my unhidden astonishment.

“Huh.” I take the paper and stare at it, unsure of what to say. “You got me an interview? With… Huh.” She beams again and nods feverishly. “Well we’d better get on a plane then, hadn’t we?”

“Maybe on ze way we can discuss my bonus.” She smirks.

“Sylvania,” I reply. “If you pull this off, I’ll name my fucking firstborn after you.” And with that, I crack what is as far as I can remember my first smile since leaving Italy.

Mini-sode 200.5.5 >

Euro 24 Review (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Euro 24 Finale)

Let’s have a look back on a record breaking Final and then on Euro 2024 as a whole.

Start from the start with episode 1

< Euro 24 Part 19

Take my hand, dear reader. I feel your pain. The Euros are over and the long wait for USA 2026 has begun. You’ll be pleased to hear that Don Collins has been found and detained while going through customs in an Italian airport though, telling anyone who’d listen that “The special ingredient was deep fried vengeance”. By which I mean he’s recovering nicely from his unfortunate bout of flu. I’m John Hutchison. Let’s have a look back on a record breaking Final and then on Euro 2024 as a whole.


Belgium v Portugal

Emotions were at fever pitch. The two national sides lined up and backed by choirs of their countrymen tens of thousands strong, they blared their respective national anthems, which reverberated around the walls of the San Siro. Surely nobody in Milan could be oblivious to the fact that in their city, the Final of Euro 24 was about to begin.

But forget the score, I know what you’re all craving to know: How close were our lineup predictions from last week? Well, there’s no way to sugar coat it: We were way off. Belgium manager Filip Daems made the bold decision to make 6 changes to the side that blasted through France in the Semi-Finals, including an entirely different back 4. Wout Faes, Björn Engels, Jordan Lukaku, Leander Dendoncker, Youri Tielemans and Yannick Carrasco were all sacrificed in the reshuffle as Joran Devolder, Toby Alderweireld, Stéphan Vandamme, Corentin Fiore, Andreas Pereira and Cas Willems came in. Thomas Meunier was also shuffled in front of the defence as a makeshift holding midfielder. Could Daems’ radical changes pay dividends? Could fresher legs make all the difference, even at the expense of such pivotal players as Dendoncker and Tielemans?

See below our predicted XI (Left) v Belgium’s chosen XI (Right).

 

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

For José Barros’ Portugal, just the 3 changes from their Semi-Final victory over Norway: Liverpool defender António Branco was left on the bench despite netting his first international goal in that match, as was Rúben Neves, who scored the equaliser. Despite their goals though, I personally was most surprised that João Mário wasn’t included, having arguably been one of his nation’s most important players in the tournament. Bernardo Silva took his place, with captain Rúben Dias retaking his place alongside Rúben Semedo in defence and Afonso Sousa, who played his only half hour of Euro 24 football as a substitute against Norway and scored his first goal, replacing Neves in midfield. Could it be that dropping the goalscorers that turned the tide against Norway was a gamble too far for Barros? Could the Porto midfielder with 5 caps to his name take the place of stalwart Rúben Neves?

Our predicted XI (Left) v Portugal’s chosen XI (Right).

 

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

One team started decidedly quicker than the other: Portugal. With only 4 minutes of the match played, Gelson Martins received the ball just inside his own half and skipped past Fiore’s reckless sliding tackle before sprinting for the right byline. Once there he chipped a cross to the near post for Zé Gomes, who nodded his nation in front. 5 minutes later and with the Belgians looking remarkably blunt going forwards, Gelson charged down the right again and whipped in another cross. Courtois came out to claim the ball but he was beaten to it by Zé Gomes, whose flying header thumped into the back of the net to double Portugal’s lead. Belgium had started poorly but there was still plenty of football to be played, so they just needed to avoid doing anything foolish. As the clock ticked past the 18 minute mark, Gelson passed inside from the wing for Zé Gomes and Burnley’s Andreas Pereira came flying in two-footed from behind him, scything the Spurs striker down and earning one of the most cut and dried red cards you’ll ever see. Cas Willems’ final was also cut short as the winger was sacrificed for Charly Musonda, who moved into the centre of midfield. Not even 20 minutes in, Belgium were 2 goals and a player down.

Before the half hour, their woe turned to misery. Or their misery turned to woe… Whichever’s worse, they were now feeling that. Once again Gelson sprinted down the right beyond the reach of Corentin Fiore, once again he crossed towards the near post and once again Zé Gomes arrived, this time tapping the ball over the line from close range with his boot. I should stress that the player who scored a 29 minute hat trick in the Euro 24 Final is currently transfer listed at Tottenham. In first half stoppage time, Gelson deservedly bagged a goal of his own, rifling into the top corner from the edge of the box after Bernardo Silva teed him up. At half time Portugal lead Belgium by 4 goals to 0. It was fair to summarise at this point that Filip Daems’ 6 changes had not been entirely successful.

Still, may as well make a couple more! Daems made his remaining substitutes at half time; sending on Yannick Carrasco and Dennis Praet, replacing Kevin De Bruyne and Mohamed Hamoudan and confirming onlookers’ mounting suspicions that he’d lost his f**king mind. With renewed confidence and vigour, the Belgians came out for the second half determined to at least make the score look more presentable and within 4 minutes, substitute Carrasco handled Silva’s free kick cross inside the box and gave the rampant Portuguese a penalty. With Captain Courtois flying off in the wrong direction, Zé Gomes coolly tucked the penalty into the bottom corner and completed his “haul” of goals.

With 25 torturous minutes to play for the Belgians and 25 euphoric minutes to play for the Portuguese, José Barros made all 3 of his substitutes. Off came Gonçalo Guedes, Renato Sanches and the magnificent Gelson Martins to rapturous applause, while Bruma, João Carvalho and Rúben Neves trotted onto the pitch for well deserved cameos. Within a minute, a long throw routine started by Dalot lead to a smooth passing move inside the Belgian box, finished when Guerreiro laid the ball off for Portugal’s number 6 Bernardo Silva, who slotted in goal number 6. 10 minutes later Silva’s cross was headed weakly away at the near post by Alderweireld, but with no support around him and Courtois in no mans land after poorly anticipating yet another cross, Bruma was left with a simple finish.

The whistle was blown, the trophy was raised.

Belgium 0-7 Portugal.

Screenshot 2019-02-05 at 14.03.42

What is there to say? Whether it was the influx of changes in the Belgium side, the superior tactics of Barros, the superior Portuguese players, the bewildering Belgian substitutes, the loss of Divock Origi to injury, the benching of Youri Tielemans and Leander Dendoncker, the early goals, the early red card or a combination of some or all of the above, the simple facts were that Portugual were mesmerising to watch and that Belgium were beyond excruciating.

Former France manager WT Franjo was spotted at the San Siro with his colours pinned decisively to the mast, wearing the shirt of a Portuguese 2nd tier side and sitting amongst a group of Portuguese fans who were trying to wrap their nation’s scarves around his neck. He’ll surely have felt some catharsis watching Portugal twist the knife deeper and deeper into the Belgium side that knocked France out in the Semis and cost him his job, but it remains to be seen whether Filip Daems faces the same fate. He was cagey over his future in his post-match press conference but surely a humiliation like this is enough to force the hand of even the most generous football association. José Barros on the other hand is a name that will go down in Portuguese history for giving the fans a once-in-a-lifetime match and their second European Championship trophy in 8 years.

Screenshot 2019-02-10 at 15.34.41

Euro 24 Review

And so with the last ball kicked and the final final whistle blown, the curtain has come down on Euro 24, a tournament packed with goals, drama, twists and turns. Let’s have a look back on some of the best and worst performing teams and players.

Teams

Screenshot 2019-02-10 at 16.01.14.png

Goals Scored

Remarkably, Portugal’s drubbing of Belgium moved them up to only 2nd place in the goal rankings behind France, who scored 24 at a staggering rate of 4 goals per game on average.

Screenshot 2019-02-10 at 16.02.08.png

Down at the bottom of the list there are no surprises. FYR Macedonia will thank their lucky stars they finished 23rd and left Northern Ireland as the only side with no goals to their name.

Screenshot 2019-02-10 at 16.02.24.png

Goals Conceded

Brave Scotland had the meanest defence in the tournament, conceding 3 times before their 2nd Round exit, but Portugal did well to even feature in the table for this one having played over twice the amount of football as some of the other nations represented. They conceded 5 goals, getting them joint 3rd with Czech Republic, England and Serbia.

Screenshot 2019-02-10 at 15.52.33.png

At the other end of the table it looked like France were nailed on as the leakiest team at the tournament with 13 goals, although Croatia, Georgia and Poland deserve special mentions for conceding 10 in half the time. But Belgium’s decimation in the final surpasses even the French for goals conceded. They finished with 15 goals conceded in 7 matches.

Screenshot 2019-02-10 at 15.58.21.png

Discipline

Norway were by far the dirtiest team in the tournament, finishing top of both the yellow cards and fouls tables with Belgium following behind in both. In fairness, no Norwegian was sent off during Euro 24. A special mention must be given once again to Northern Ireland for collecting 10 yellow cards and a red in just 3 matches. They certainly put up a fight before their early exit.

Screenshot 2019-02-10 at 16.06.57Screenshot 2019-02-10 at 16.07.11Screenshot 2019-02-10 at 16.06.14

Players

Screenshot 2019-02-10 at 16.12.51.png

Ratings

Moving onto players then, the top rated footballer at Euro 24 was France’s Paul Pogba, who shone in the 5 appearances he made. Gelson Martins was Portugal’s top player in the list, making 6th place. We don’t actually have a list of the tournament’s worst players, which in my humble opinion is a bloody shame. In lieu of that, I’ll just give another honourable mention to Northern Ireland.

Screenshot 2019-02-10 at 16.14.53.png

Goals

Pogba was also the top scorer with 7 goals, including a hat trick against Belgium. Zé Gomes’ haul in the Final was only enough to take him joint 2nd alongside such prestigious company as Germany’s Christopher Dieckmann and the Netherlands’ Thomas Buitink. Gelson also finished in the top 9, while Belgium’s Mo Hamoudan and Youri Tielemans finished joint 5th, although the latter scored 4 from the penalty spot.

Screenshot 2019-02-10 at 16.19.03

Assists

The assists table looked set to be topped by a Frenchman too, but Gelson Martins’ hat trick of crosses against Belgium took him level with Lucas Digne with 6 assists. Finalists Bruma, Sanches, De Bruyne and the injured Origi all featured in the top 9, while a special mention should be given to Switzerland’s Arnel Kalac, who finished joint 3rd with Origi and Buitink on 4 assists despite being eliminated in the Group Stage.

Screenshot 2019-02-10 at 16.19.56

Key Passes and Dribbles Per Game

Gelson also leads the way in terms of key passes and dribbles per game, finishing joint 1st in the former alongside Buitink, Morata and Cvitanovic and 1st in the latter.

Screenshot 2019-02-10 at 16.35.46

Screenshot 2019-02-10 at 16.36.08

Tackles Per Game

Looking at the more defensive side of the game, the tackles per game table is actually lead by Macedonia’s Arijan Ademi, with his countryman Ardit Aziri following closely behind.

Screenshot 2019-02-10 at 16.39.31

Key Tackles

Scotland’s Grant Wyness tops the key tackles table with 6 and I’ll give a special mention to Croatia’s Tin Jedvaj, who finished joint 4th, because I’m fairly sure it’ll be the only positive mention that a Croatian will get throughout this review.

Screenshot 2019-02-10 at 16.39.42

Key Headers

Norway’s Markus Hagen made the most key headers, while Belgians Toby Alderweireld and Leander Dendoncker were also in the top 7.

Screenshot 2019-02-10 at 16.39.58

Interceptions

The top 5 in the interceptions table includes as many as 3 Frenchmen, which I’ll applaud as along with their manager, Varane, Umtiti and Laporte have taken a lot of the criticism for their side’s poor defensive performance and deserve a bit of credit where it’s due.

Screenshot 2019-02-10 at 16.40.14

Clean Sheets

And finally to the goalkeepers. Champion Diogo Costa can be afford the be pleased, having conceded just 5 goals and kept 3 clean sheets in 7 appearances. Shevchenko and Butland also kept 3 clean sheets, so the trio finish joint 1st of that particular table.

Screenshot 2019-02-10 at 16.40.34

Match of the Tournament

While I appreciate JOE.ie’s pick for the “Match of the Tournament” award (Czech Republic’s 2-0 victory over Macedonia in Group B) may be justified and I imagine they’ll make many convincing arguments, I’m going to be less braindead in my pick and choose Belgium 5-4 France as my Match of the Tournament, with Norway (p) 3-3 England the runner up.

Biggest Overachievers

I will agree with JOE.ie’s pick for the biggest overachievers though as there can be no pick other than Norway for that title. A Semi-Final is better than anyone could have foreseen for a Norwegian side predicted by few to qualify from their group and being knocked out in non-embarrassing fashion by the eventual champions will no doubt send them home extremely satisfied with their performance. My runners up for this prestigious award are Ukraine.

Biggest Underachievers

Switzerland are a decent shout as progression from the Group Stage should have been accomplished with the squad at their disposal, but my pick for the biggest underachievers will come as no surprise. Croatia, a side full of world-known, extremely talented footballers, should not be crashing out of the Group Stage with 0 points and a -7 goal difference. Yes, they had a very tough group with Norway, Germany and Turkey, but their performance was unacceptable. I’ll name the Swiss as my runners up, although I will give an honourable mention to World Champions France for not even reaching the Final.

206.5 7 euro review.png

206 8 post

Awards

Goal of the Tournament

The Goal of the Tournament award for Euro 24 was given, no doubt slightly awkwardly, to Burnley’s Belgian playmaker Andreas Pereira, who became a villain after his stupid lunge 20 minutes into the Final. Still, his scorcher against Italy is certainly something for him to hold onto in the cold, sleepless nights to come.

Screenshot 2019-02-10 at 17.11.47

Best Young Player

The Best Young Player of the tournament was given to Germany’s Bayern Munich striker Christopher Dieckmann, a decision that I support whole-heartedly. Although Germany bowed out in the Quarter-Finals to eventual finalists Belgium, Dieckmann was a highlight not just for Germany but for all of us watching. 6 goals in only 5 games is beyond impressive and in other years might even have won him the Golden Boot, so with the 22 year old only just getting started in his international career, the best is surely yet to come.

Screenshot 2019-02-10 at 17.11.13

Golden Boot

The Golden Boot of course was won by Manchester United and France midfielder Paul Pogba, whose remarkable tally of 7 goals from midfield highlights just how dangerous France were on the attack and is the 2nd highest ever scored in a European Championship tournament. Who was the highest? Paul’s fellow Frenchman and fellow midfielder Michel Platini, who bagged 9 back in 1984. It’s also the highest tally a player’s managed in any international tournament since Ronaldo, who scored 8 times as Brazil won the 2002 World Cup.

Screenshot 2019-02-10 at 17.11.57

Dream Team

Belgium are well and truly down at this point, but the World couldn’t resist giving them one last kicking before they slunk away from Euro 24. The tournament’s Dream Team starting XI contains absolutely no Belgians whatsoever, which is remarkable for a team that won all 6 matches en route to the final. And which of their squad do make the substitute’s bench? Divock Origi, who missed the Final through injury, Youri Tielemans and Björn Engels who both missed the Final for reasons unknown.

Portugal however were pretty well represented in the Dream Team, with the European Champions having António Branco, Gelson Martins and Zé Gomes in the starting XI, while Rúben Dias, Bernardo Silva and Bruma all made the bench. England’s Jack Butland made the cut for the starting XI along with his compatriot Dele Alli, while Ukrainian captain Valeriy Luchkevych and Thomas Buitink of the Netherlands were also selected.

The largest contingent of the Dream Team’s starting XI was made of players from a Semi-Final nation. Raphaël Varane, Lucas Digne, Paul Pogba and Kingsley Coman were all selected from the French squad, with Corentin Tolisso and Djibril Sidibé both on the bench, drawing France level with Portugal in terms of number of players selected on 6.

Screenshot 2019-02-10 at 17.11.28

Best Player

If you’ve been eagerly paying attention during this review and if I’ve done my job correctly, you’ll probably have 2 names that are sticking out particularly brightly in your mind for this award. Although Paul Pogba was the highest rated player and the top goalscorer though, he didn’t lift the trophy or even reach the Final. One of the players that did both is a 29 year old winger who scored 4 goals and set up 6 more as Portugal romped to victory and that is why Real Madrid’s Gelson Martins is the Euro 24 Best Player. Take a bow, Gelson. It’s well deserved.

Screenshot 2019-02-10 at 17.11.04

And that’s all I have for you on Euro 2024. Thank you for following along with us throughout the tournament, from the moment Andrei Ivan’s free kick deflected past Jared Thompson at the San Siro to the moment Rúben Dias lifted the trophy in the very same stadium, it’s been a long, long, long and winding road. I’m most likely going to go on a 2 year cruise now but don’t you worry. We’ll be back for World Cup 2026 in the United States of America. From my colleague, Don Collins and from me, John Hutchison, thank you and good night.


I close my laptop and stare out of the window, watching the clouds pass by in the darkness. The BBC’s gone to shit, it really has. None of these journalists can write a column any better than… Well, for example any better than I’d be able to. I let out a long and weary sigh.

“Good tournament, wasn’t it?” Says a small voice from beside me. I turn to see a young lad, no older than 10 on the seat between me and his father, who’s fast asleep in the aisle seat. “Who were you supporting?”

“Well, that’s a bit of a complicated question.” I reply. He beams as he recognises my accent.

“You’re English too!” He announces excitedly. “Did you see Alli’s goal against Denmark? And Oliver Webb against France! And Rashford when he scored all 4 against Georgia! Dad took me to every game!” He starts to breathlessly count off his favourite players and performances.

“Yeah, we were great.” I smile, once he’s finished. He beams again.

“Are you changing in France too? Dad says it was cheaper this way but I wanted to fly straight home. Planes are so boring aren’t they? And airports are the worst.”

“Aren’t they?” I agree, enthusiastically. “But no, I’m actually just flying to France. I live there.”

“Do a lot of people have metal faces in France?” He asks quietly, as if scared of the answer.

“Only the very cool ones.” I smirk. The boy laughs.

“What will you do when you get back?” He asks. I pause for a moment and turn to look back out of the window into the inky black sky.

“You know what?” I say slowly. “I have absolutely no idea.”

Screenshot 2019-02-10 at 17.46.05Screenshot 2019-02-10 at 17.44.48Screenshot 2019-02-10 at 17.45.06

Mini-sode 200.5 >

Amigos Reunidos (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Euro 24 Part 19)

And then I see them both striding towards me.

Start from the start with episode 1

< Euro 24 Part 18

I check my watch – 19:52. Late. Bloody late today of all days. They’ve never left me hanging before. I check my watch again – Still 19:52. I’m not sure what I expected. I glance through the crowd of fans, a sea of different shades of red being funnelled towards the turnstiles of the San Siro. And then I see them both striding towards me, donned in red SC Angrense 17/18 home shirts, with their dark red and green Portuguese scarves raised above their heads in greeting.

“What time do you call this?” I shout.

“TIME TO WIN THE EUROS!” Bellows Gonçalo Reyes, the more round-faced of the two, although looking noticeably less youthful than he did now that he’s in his 30s. The shorter, more weathered looking Gonçalo Valadão smiles and half-cheers in agreement. I shake my head.

“First time you’ve ever been late, Hurley.” I tut towards the former.

Screenshot 2019-02-05 at 14.32.03

“Not late!” He replies sternly, as the pair reach the entrance I’m waiting by. Hurley grabs the watch on my wrist and raises it so that I can see. “8 minutes to!” He corrects me.

“Fine.” I concede. “Near enough though.” I turn to Valadão. “How’s the Under 19’s lark, meu Capitão?”

“Shit.” He growls through a thick accent. “It is shit. I am shit at it.”

Screenshot 2019-02-05 at 14.32.21.png

“Great.” I’m not sure how to respond to that. “How very… Erm… Honest. Listen, we should go sit down. Where’s-” I’m cut off by the sound of concrete being fed into a blender just behind my two former players. Upon closer inspection though, the sound is revealed as a laugh, the source of which is a man with an unbelievably saggy, leathery face. What little grey hair once remained on top of his sun-damaged head is gone, presumably burnt off in the fierce Terceira heat. His features are somewhat hidden under the thick folds of skin while he too is kitted out in Angrense red. It doesn’t take me long to identify my former club’s groundsman.

“Alright, Nuno?” I call. He continues to laugh like a vacuum cleaner sucking up a gravel driveway. It’s uncanny. “Go on.” I sigh. “Get it out of the way.” He gradually stops laughing, then lifts a flap of skin in order to wipe a tear from one of his tiny eyes.

“You fail, Inglês!” He croaks, before immediately bursting back into laughter.

“Excellent. I have certainly missed that.” I reply absently, while checking my watch. 19:52. “We’d better get up to our seats.” I turn to walk into the stadium, but Nuno grabs my shoulder.

“You look exactly like that… Uh… Aquele gerente Francês.” He says, still shaking with laughter. “The shit one.”

“Ah another zinger, nice one.” I nod. “And you look like Darth Vader under the mask, you scary bastard. And by the way, do I not get any credit for being the France manager? Is that not impressive? That 7 years ago we were all in the Portuguese gutter and now I’m-”

“I thought you got sacked?” Asks Hurley bluntly.

“Well… Yes, but still. I was just the France manager. Incredibly recently.” The three of them stare blankly at me. “World Champions France.” I clarify.

“And you got to the Semi-Finals of the Euros.” Chuckles Nuno. “You’re worse than Valadão.”

“Well that’s… You can’t…” I splutter. “The Semi-Finals is still fucking impressive, surely!”

“With France?” Grunts Valadão. “I would have won it.”

“Oh well clearly you would have!” I reply, my voice an octave higher than I intended it to be. “You’re wasted farming talent for Borba to flog in the January sales then, aren’t you?”

“I also think I would have won it.” Says Hurley, thoughtfully.

“Obviously you would!” I reply with a snort of hysterical laughter. “Obviously the one goal you scored in three seasons in Poland proves beyond a doubt that you’d thrive in a Managerial career outside Portugal!”

“I would also have won it.” Agrees Nuno.

“This is insane!” I cry, but Nuno, now stoney faced, squeezes my shoulder, looks me square in the eyes and lifts a leathery finger up to my lips to silence me. It smells faintly of cabbage.

“You see, Inglês: To win, you must start with a solid defence; A foundation upon which to build.” He removes his finger from my face and mimes building something with one hand on top of the flat palm of the other. Hurley and Valadão nod stoically in agreement.

“A second ago,” I hiss, “You didn’t even know the English for ‘Manager’. How the fuck do… In fact no, you’re not an authority on football management, Nuno, you’re a pissing groundsman!”

“He’s right.” Grumbles Valadão. “You must also adapt to your oppositions’ styles as I do. For was it not Sun Tzu who said ‘If you know your enemies and know yourself, you will not be put at risk even in a hundred battles, but if you only know yourself, but not your opponent, you may win or may lose.'” I stare, transfixed and horrified as the three of them continue to nod silently away like Churchill dogs on the parcel shelf.

“I don’t have the foggiest fucking clue what Sun Tzu said.” I moan. “How… First of all, when did you all get so good at English?” Valadão frowns.

“Um pouco.” He says, touching his thumb and forefinger together.

“No not ‘um pouco’! You just fucking quoted Sun Tzu!”

“Sun Tzu was Chinese, not English, Inglês.” Chuckles Nuno.

“I KNOW!” I shout manically. “And you do know the English for ‘English’ then, do you? Fantastic! How am I the only one who seems to think that this entire interaction is madness?!” I claw my face with my fingertips, before reaching into my coat and withdrawing 3 tickets, which I shove roughly into their hands. “I regret sorting these for you if I’m honest.” I sigh. Nuno eyes his ticket and clears his throat.

“You are forgetting something I think, Inglês.” I reach a hand back into my coat and pull out a matchday programme, which he grabs eagerly before flipping it over to stare at the squad lists. Nuno grins and wraps an arm around my shoulder, before marching me towards the door.

“Let us go up.” He says. “You will see how a real nation plays football, Inglês.”

“Fine.” I sigh.

“Who is Renato Sanches?” He asks, regarding the programme with confusion.

“I might murder you at some point over the next 90 minutes, Nuno.” I reply. “And we’re late now too.”

“No, still 8 minutes until kick off!” Chirps Hurley. I check my watch and sure enough, it reads 19:52. Somehow. Maybe time’s stopped. Or maybe I’ve finally been driven right over the border into Crazytown in a cabbage-scented car full of Portuguese backseat-drivers. “And put yours on!” The midfielder adds, shoving a folded shirt into my hands. I grab the bright red jersey by the shoulders and hold it out in front of me, allowing it to unfurl and reveal the SC Angrense badge emblazoned upon the chest. I grin.

It’s been 5 eventful years since I’ve seen Hurley and 6 since I’ve seen the others. They’ve showed up without a word of thanks for the tickets, they’ve belittled me, insulted me and condescended to me. The important thing now is to not let any of them realise how fucking happy I am to see them.

Euro 24 Finale >

Semi-Final Roundup & Final Preview (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Euro 24 Part 18)

Let’s see how the Semi-Finals unfolded.

Start from the start with episode 1

< Euro 24 Part 17

Well what a week it’s been! 2 matches, 13 goals, a round of international sackings and we have just 2 teams left in the tournament! I think I need a sit down and a cup of tea and I think you do too. In the continued absence of Don Collins, who was last seen outside the Norwegian team hotel before the round handing out bowls of very questionable looking lasagne behind an even more questionable fake beard… By which I mean in bed with flu… I’m John Hutchison. Let’s see how the Semi-Finals unfolded.


Norway v Portugal

The first Semi-Final tie seemed like it could only go one way: Brave Norway, the neutrals’ favourites for the Euros, who had fought tooth and nail to reach the final 4 by the narrowest of margins, topping their group on goal difference and twice victorious in penalty shootouts thereafter, against Portugal, who had largely breezed through most of the tournament at a canter. Naples’ Stadio San Paolo was packed to the rafters with fans from all around Europe and indeed the World, the majority of whom wanted to see the underdogs prevail against the odds once again.

You might ask how I’m so sure, but you needed only to see the aftermath of the opening goal. When Norwegian debutant Geir Einar Karlsen swung a cross behind enemy lines from deep on the right wing and Jørgen Strand Larsen rose to send a looping header over Diogo Costa just after the 6 minute mark, the Stadio San Paolo was rocking like I’ve never seen. The big question however was not how Norway would start, but how long they would last before tiring, having played a full hour more football in Euro 24 than their opponents. Sure enough, while they declined, Portugal grew stronger and more dominant as the game progressed. Just after the half hour Raphaël Guerreiro’s corner was awkwardly half-cleared by Jonas Svensson at the near post, allowing PSG playmaker Rúben Neves to nod the ball past Ørjan Nyland unmarked. On the hour, another Guerreiro corner was flicked on by substitute João Carvalho and bundled in from close range by Liverpool defender António Branco and then just 5 minutes later, the rout was completed when a third corner was cleared as far as Gelson Martins, who set up fellow sub Afonso Sousa for a deft finish into the top left corner.

Few will argue against the fact that Portugal deserve their place in the final, but Norway’s performance in Euro 2024 will stand out as a highlight in many a fan’s mind for years to come. They can hold their heads high as they make their way back North.

Screenshot 2019-02-05 at 10.50.48.png


Belgium v France

Where the first Semi was a foregone conclusion for all but the most hopeful fans, the second was balanced delicately on a knife’s edge. Belgium met France at the Stadio Olympico in what was sure to be a match choc-full of goals. So it proved after just 35 seconds when Mo Hamoudan poked the Belgians ahead from a Divock Origi cross. Unfortunately that would be Origi’s only contribution to the match as shortly after Paul Pogba thumped in an equaliser, the striker hobbled off with a hip injury that will end his tournament early. Djibril Sidibé scored France’s second shortly afterwards but only minutes later, Kevin De Bruyne slotted Belgium back onto level terms. The first half continued to spill goals upon goals as Paul Pogba’s second gave France back their lead, but Yannick Carrasco took it away again just before the break. The sides went out for the second half knowing that whoever could break the cycle of one goal leads and actually open up some breathing room would have an excellent chance of progressing and so it proved. Nany Dimata, Divock Origi’s replacement in the first half, bundled in a Hamoudan cross following a poor Leo Gauthier pass and then Youri Tielemans rifled in a penalty just after the hour, given after the referee took umbrage with the way Raphaël Varane looked at Leander Dendoncker. France huffed and puffed to close the gap and Paul Pogba succeeded to an extent, claiming his hat trick with just under 15 minutes to go, but France had no more left in the tank and as the game trundled towards its conclusion that became ever more obvious.

For Franjo and France, a Semi-Final defeat is not good enough, nor is shipping 5 goals. For Daems and Belgium, this triumph highlights just how much progress they’ve made in 2 short years. They’ll deservedly meet Portugal in what will surely be a heart thumping Final.

206 8 post


I mentioned a round of sackings, but congratulations first of all to Croatia’s Marijan Vlak, who made the decision to retire from football management in a “You can’t fire me, I quit” sort of move. Also out of an International job are Czech Republic’s Karel Jarolim, who also retired, sacked England boss Eddie Howe, sacked France chief WT Franjo, Macedonia’s Igor Angelovski, who presumably made the decision that his side’s performance was the very peak of their potential and resigned, Germany’s Joachim Löw, who resigned after 18 years and 2 days in charge of his nation, Vincenzo Italiano, who resigned from his role as Italy head coach, Dariusz Banasik, who was rightly sacked by Poland, Marcelino, who stepped down from managing Spain and Urs Meier, who resigned as Switzerland boss. It’ll be interesting to see how these nations strategise for the future because they have 2 years to prepare for World Cup 2026 in the states and for many of them, much change is needed before then.


The Final – Belgium v Portugal – Preview

Belgium

Won: 6 Drawn: 0 Lost: 0

Goals Scored: 19 (2nd)

Goals Conceded: 8 (=12th)

Top Scorer(s): Mohamed Hamoudan, Youri Tielemans: 5 (=4th)

Top Assister(s): Divock Origi: 4 (=2nd)

Unavailable: Divock Origi (Hip injury, 2-3 months)

Likely Lineup:

Screenshot 2019-02-05 at 12.46.13.png

This slideshow requires JavaScript.


Portugal

Won: 5 Drawn: 0 Lost: 1

Goals Scored: 16 (3rd)

Goals Conceded: 5 (=3rd)

Top Scorer(s): Gelson Martins, João Mário: 3 (=8th)

Top Assister(s): Bruma, Gelson Martins, Renato Sanches: 3 (=5th)

Unavailable: Andre Silva (Broken Foot, 2-3 months)

Likely Lineup:

Screenshot 2019-02-05 at 13.33.04.png

This slideshow requires JavaScript.


I think the one thing we can say with certainty is that this will be a fascinating spectacle not only for Belgian and Portuguese fans, but for Tottenham and Real Madrid fans too. Out of our likely line ups, which have been picked from the players who’ve been used most often in the tournament, they are the two club sides with the biggest presence, with Portuguese Spurs players Dalot, Bruma and Zé Gomes lining up alongside Real Madrid men Guerreiro, Martins and Mario against Belgians Alderweireld and Tielemans of Spurs and Madrid respectively.

There will also be a clash of strategies at play, with Belgium preferring to press their opponents and counter quickly in a style reminiscent of the gegenpress, while Portugal tend to dominate possession and play patient football in their opponents’ half. The Portuguese have also really been making the most of Guerreiro’s set piece proficiency, with 5 of their 16 goals coming from corners and free kicks, while 18 of Belgium’s 19 goals have come from open play. The two sides are similar in a few ways though: Dendoncker sits in the hole for Belgium similarly to the way Neves stays deep for Portugal, Tielemans and Sanches play similar playmaker roles in the centre, while De Bruyne (When deployed centrally and not off the right) and Mário are the predominant attacking midfielders, regularly breaking into the box from deep positions. Both sides also utilise an overlapping left wingback along with an inside left forward, but Portugal also sometimes use a similar strategy on the right flank too.

The main difference for me is the fact that Belgium have the potential to score goals and to ship them, while Portugal have yet to be seriously challenged at the back with the exception of a very unlucky and narrow defeat at the hands of Ukraine. It should also be noted however that before their semi-final ties, the sides had only conceded 4 goals apiece. I’m going for a Portugal win, but in all honesty it could go either way.

I’ll see you after the dust settles to look back on a quite incredible tournament.

Euro 24 Part 19 >

Fuck Rome (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Euro 24 Part 17)

“2 English managers in the Euros… It was bound to go wrong, wasn’t it?”

Start from the start with episode 1

< Euro 24 Part 16

I sit alone in an empty bar just around the corner from Rome Ciampino Airport, idly rocking the tumbler in my hand from side to side as my eyes half-focus on the swirling liquid within. With a weary sigh, I drain it.

“Talk about football coming home…” A familiar voice from behind me breaks into mournful song.

“… And then one night in Rome…” I continue, trying to keep my voice steady.

“… We were strong. We had grown… Fuck Rome.” Sighs the voice, abandoning the melody. I turn my head to see Eddie Howe walking up and taking the stool next to me. I smile weakly at him. “2 English managers in the Euros… It was bound to go wrong, wasn’t it?” I nod, unsure how else to respond. “Unlucky.” He adds, gesturing to the TV on the wall above the bar. Sky Sports News’ scrolling ticker shows the headline Franjo sacked as France manager. Howe orders us both a drink.

“Ditto”, I reply dryly, as the ticker reveals the next headline: Howe sacked as England manager. Eddie smirks and shrugs. The bartender places our glasses on the bar and we take a drink in silence.

“It’s a results business”, he says, in a mock-serious voice, before adding “What a load of shit.” I nod in agreement. There’s a moment of uncomfortable silence. “They’ll be coming after you, you know, the FA.” He swirls his glass absent-mindedly.

“Really? How do you know?” I turn to face him, suddenly half confused, half monumentally excited. Eddie grins and gestures back towards the telly.

FA set to approach Franjo over England position

“Oh.” Another silence follows, more awkward than the last.

“It’s fine.” He eventually reassures me. “You’ll do well. They’re a brilliant group of lads and they can achieve a lot. If I were you, I’d go for it.” We take another drink in silence.

“What about you?” I ask.

“Well, I’ll take over France obviously.” He smirks again. “From the rumours I’ve heard, you’re leaving Auxerre. Maybe put in a good word for me.”

“Well, nothing’s set in stone.” I reply cautiously. Eddie nods and winks.

“Of course. Well whatever you do, I want to see that World Cup in your hands in 2 years.” He finishes his drink and I follow suit.

“You’re a class act you know, Eddie Howe.” I say, replacing my tumbler on the bar and signalling to the bartender for 2 more.

“I know, son.” He nods. “You want to come do a line?”

“A…?”

“A line. Cocaine.”

“No, I’m… I’m alright.”

“Suit yourself.” And with that, Eddie heads for the toilet.

Huh.

Euro 24 Part 18 >

Belgium v France (SF) (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Euro 24 Part 16)

Vive la fucking Franj.

I wrote a sequel to one of my poems, which… Is an odd thing to do. Here it is.

Start from the start with episode 1

< Euro 24 Part 15

I stare dumbfounded towards the French end of the pitch. The red and black shirts peel away towards the corner. The Belgian flags wave ever more ferociously. I glance towards the clock on the scoreboard. 36 seconds. Belgium 1-0 France.

206 2 judgement day.png

Earlier…

“Is he mental?” My foot reaches instinctively for a water bottle to kick, but as I’m not yet on the touchline, I only succeed in leathering the changing room wall. I bite my lip as pain shoots through my toes. “Is this because we thrashed Spain or what? He’s trying to bloody disrupt us!”

“I doubt Pep’s that petty.” Replies Bechkoura thoughtfully. “You know what he’s like. Can’t go 2 minutes without buying a playmaker nowadays. It’s a wonder PSG haven’t toppled over, they’re so top-heavy.”

“But why Coman? Why now? I’m telling you, he’s trying to fucking distract him!”

206 4 psg coman offer

“Kingsley’s a pro, he’ll be alright. I think you’re more distracted than he is by this.”

I take a moment to mull this over. Bechkoura’s probably right, but I can’t let him know so I smoothly change the topic of conversation towards the match. “How are the team feeling? Any nerves?”

“No more than you’d expect.” He replies. “There’d probably be less if Kylian was playing, but they’re ready. They know what’s at stake.”

206 1 take on belgium

It is a remarkably big day. A Semi-Final against Belgium for France, while back in Auxerre, l’AJA are taking on Red Bull Leipzig in the Final of the Auxerre Cup, with Benoît Cheyrou’s men having successfully won their own Semi against Sunderland yesterday. Portugal are already through to the Final having knocked out Norway and I need us to get through this to face them. We can beat Portugal when we’re at full strength, we’ve already proved that in the EIL final.

206 6 preview

I’m having to make a few changes for this match, mostly for fitness: Corentin Tolisso and Neal Maupay are too tired to start and Mbappé’s bruised rib has been bothering him since the Ukraine game, but they’re all fit enough for the bench, while Aymeric Laporte is suspended after reaching his yellow card limit and misses out entirely. Luckily we have an absolutely disgusting amount of squad depth and I’m able to replace the quartet with Raphaël Varane, Adrien Rabiot, Thomas Lemar and Antoine Griezmann. Kingsley Coman starts and I’ll be keeping my fingers crossed that he keeps his mind on the game.

206 7 formations

The Stadio Olimpico is crackling with energy as I make my way towards the pitch. Through the end of the tunnel I see the Tricolores of red, white and blue waving proudly, opposed on all sides by their Belgian counterparts of black, yellow and red. My team do indeed look confident in their body language as they conclude their warm up, which sends a flood of fierce pride coursing through me. 2 matches are all that stand between France and glory. 180 minutes of football, after which I’ll go down in history alongside the likes of Hidalgo, Jacquet, Lemerre, Deschamps and Wenger. We can do this. We can fucking do anything.

I stare dumbfounded towards the French end of the pitch. The red and black shirts peel away towards the corner. The Belgian flags wave ever more ferociously. I glance towards the clock on the scoreboard. 36 seconds. Belgium 1-0 France.

“CONCENTRATE!” I scream, clapping my hands together wildly. “FUCKING CONCENTRATE!” It was such a simple goal. We came out on the front foot and headed straight into Belgium’s half, where we turned over possession and Digne pressed Carrasco unsuccessfully in the corner, leaving us light on the left flank. Carrasco chipped it to Tielemans, who booted it down the wing for Origi, who crossed into the centre for Hamoudan to tap in. Simple. A simple goal, born of naivety and recklessness.

Screenshot 2019-02-04 at 17.35.20.png

2 minutes later, Kingsley Coman’s dispossessed on the half way line and Belgium break up the other wing with Hamoudan, who lays the ball inside for the underlapping Jordan Lukaku. Lukaku looks to his right and sees Origi, De Bruyne, Tielemans and Dendoncker all somehow in space on the edge of the box as our defensive line scatters. He sets up De Bruyne and we stay 1 goal down only thanks to Leo Gauthier, who palms the playmaker’s shot away. Carrasco shoots into the side netting on the follow up.

Screenshot 2019-02-04 at 17.38.47

A further 2 minutes on we’re attacking through the middle, but the French support groans in unison as Griezmann’s sloppy pass is behind the runs of both Bakayoko and Pogba. Luckily, Carrasco’s clearance this time is cut out by Djibril Sidibé and we work the ball towards the box again, with Lemar cutting in and teeing up Paul Pogba, who toe pokes the ball past Courtois from 15 yards, giving us some incredibly welcome relief.

Screenshot 2019-02-04 at 17.35.45.png

Just after the equaliser, Divock Origi pulls up holding his groin while running with the ball and has to be helped off by Belgian physios. His replacement, Nany Dimata, is quick, strong and not to be underestimated, but Origi has scored 3 and set up another 4 over the course of the tournament and his early exit from the match is a massive boost. The Belgians sportingly knock the ball out for a French goal kick following the injury and we play out from it, with Gauthier passing to Umtiti, then Bakayoko and then to Lemar, who drives up the left wing. He tries to pick out Griezmann’s run through the centre but Faes reads the ball well and heads it back as far as Pogba. The captain passes to Rabiot 25 yards out and he has space to shoot. He cracks it left footed, but the ball pings off the bar, just above the top left corner of the net. We needed a few minutes to grow into the match, but now we’ve got Belgium scrambling to stay level.

Screenshot 2019-02-04 at 17.39.28.png

As the clock ticks past 11 minutes, Umtiti picks out Digne on the left flank and the full back arcs a cross towards the penalty spot. In their panic, Engels, Faes and Lukaku all rise to meet the ball and when Faes manages to nods it on towards the far post, there’s noone left to stop Djibril Sidibé from slamming his 2nd goal of the tournament past Courtois.

Screenshot 2019-02-04 at 17.34.48.png

A few minutes on though, signs of complacency begin to show when Varane intercepts a pass but plays a horribly sloppy ball straight to Meunier, allowing Belgium to hit us again on the break. Dimata finds Tielemans, who uses his quick feet to beat Rabiot before slipping De Bruyne clean through. The Belgian maestro shoots, but is denied again by a stunning flying save from Gauthier.

Screenshot 2019-02-04 at 17.38.06.png

With 17 minutes gone though, De Bruyne finally gets his goal. It’s another frustratingly simple one as Hamoudan plays a one-two from a throw in with Lukaku, passes to Tielemans, who then slips a ball around the corner. Bakayoko stumbles, allowing De Bruyne time to shoot from the left hand side of the 6 yard box and this time Leo can’t keep it out. 2-2.

Screenshot 2019-02-04 at 17.44.12.png

A frantic first 20 minutes is almost topped off with a 5th goal when Dimata slips between our centre backs and latches onto a lofted ball from Lukaku, but he can only slide his shot narrowly wide. On the half hour, the action is back at Belgium’s end of the pitch. Griezmann finds Coman 20 yards out and the in-demand playmaker slots a pass through to Pogba in the box. Pogba takes a touch and fires us back ahead with his left peg. The shot goes straight under Courtois as our skipper bags his second goal of the day.

Screenshot 2019-02-04 at 17.48.16.png

10 minutes later we’re pegged back again in frustratingly predictable fashion. A wayward header from Varane goes straight to Tielemans, who hoofs the ball up the left wing. Dimata brings it down, switches to the right hand side of the box and Carrasco finds himself in a dangerous position while Digne sprints hopelessly after him. Carrasco stays calm, picks his spot and toe pokes past Gauthier from 10 yards. 3-3 at half time and both sides have lived up to their pre-game billings as mulletted great white sharks: Deadly at the front, but fucking laughable at the back.

Screenshot 2019-02-04 at 17.58.44.png

“You’re my trump card, mate.” I say to Moussa Dembélé following the referee’s whistle as we make for the changing rooms. “Stay out here and warm yourself up. You’re going on.”

Against England in the first match, Dembélé’s introduction gave us a foundation on which to build attacks and we need that again now. There have been a woeful amount of misplaced passes in the final third so far and we need someone who can make it stick while other players get up in support. He’s done it before and now I need Moussa to do it again. The alternative is to shut up shop and try to stop Belgium, but my cards have been out on the table for 2 years: We are France. We play beautiful football and we score more goals than our opposition. I won’t sit us back now that it’s come to the crunch. I won’t abandon those principals. If Belgium score another 3 in the second half, we’ll score another 4. We won’t knock on the door to the final and ask Belgium to let us go through, we’ll knock the fucking thing off it’s hinges. Griezmann is replaced. Come on, lads.

The change appears to pay immediate dividends: 6 minutes after the restart, Dembélé latches onto a Coman pass and waits with his back to goal on the edge of the box, before being absolutely clattered between Engels and Lukaku and earning the latter a yellow card. Lemar takes the free kick right on the edge, but sends it into the wall. Even so, it’s promising. Until 30 seconds later. Belgium counter quickly from the free kick and Dimata’s initial 20 yard shot is floaty and easy for Leo to catch, but then he drops the ball at his feet and tries to pick out Sidibé with a pass, but instead finds Hamoudan. Hamoudan crosses and Dimata volleys past Gauthier at the near post. I could cry. It’s 4-3 to Belgium and 3 of their goals have stemmed from misplaced passes.

Screenshot 2019-02-04 at 18.14.58.png

5 minutes later, we go agonisingly close to the equaliser when Lemar’s cross is cushioned down by Dembélé for Digne, who shoots against the far post, before Courtois backheel-volleys the ball out for a corner. No, that is not a misprint and no, I don’t wish to discuss it further.

Screenshot 2019-02-04 at 18.18.30Screenshot 2019-02-04 at 18.19.31

Shortly afterwards, Kylian Mbappé replaces the largely ineffective Coman, who I still suspect has his mind on other things, in a bid to add more quality to the front line, but just after the hour we’re dealt a cruel, cruel blow when Varane is adjudged to push Dendoncker following a corner. I didn’t see a push personally, but the referee had the best seat in the house and thinks he did. The liar. Tielemans converts the spot kick to open up a 2 goal cushion.

Screenshot 2019-02-04 at 18.22.10Screenshot 2019-02-04 at 18.23.54

Tolisso comes on replacing Rabiot, who’s had a poor match, before play kicks off again and I scream for more from my players, but it’s all gone a bit flat. 3-5 down in the Euro 24 Semi Finals. It’s all but done. Even for me, the man who avoided relegation from the Lotto Ekstraklasa thanks to a last gasp goal, who avoided relegation from Ligue 2 and Ligue 1 by the narrowest of margins and who got the bloody France job off the back of those slices of luck, this is a tall order. Crunching the numbers, I reckon getting out of this one would require an amount of luck equivalent to finding a four leaf clover on top of a winning lottery ticket. Which is on top of a yeti. Who has cooked far too much fillet steak and would hate for it to go to waste. And now I’m hungry. Fucking perfect.

My mind snaps back to the present just as Lemar slides a pass to Mbappé on the edge of the box. He side steps Meunier’s lunging tackle with ease and then lays the ball for Digne. Digne pulls it back.. POGBA!!! Slides it in! Get in! The hat trick hero Paul Pogba runs straight over to grab the ball from the corner of the net and we head back to our positions. 5-4 with 13 minutes to go. We have hope. We can pull it back. We can do this. We can fucking do anything. But we can never do anything the easy way, can we.

Screenshot 2019-02-04 at 18.50.51.png

With 10 minutes to go, Belgium are trying to reopen their cushion. Tielemans plays it onto the right wing for substitute Charly Musonda, who drills a cross in… Cut out by Umtiti! The French contingent roar their nation on as Umtiti gives it to Mbappé. Pogba… Tolisso… Good ball to Dembélé, who holds it up just inside Belgium’s half… Tolisso, to Pogba, then back to Tolisso… Brings it forward, then passes it out to Sidibé as blue shirts bomb forwards desperately… And then the full back’s cross is blocked. Belgium take the ball back and as one, the French players’ shoulders slump. Their heads drop. All of our heads drop. That was as good a move as we’ve managed to muster in this second half and it’s gone. We go all out for a 5th goal, but when the referee’s final whistle blows, the score is unchanged. Black, yellow and red flags wave jubilantly. Blue figures crumple to the floor all over the pitch. It’s over. We’re out. I have failed.

206 8 post.png

I walk across the pitch on autopilot, blankly patting blue shirts on the back without registering their names and shaking hands with red ones without even thinking to look at their faces. It doesn’t occur to me to wave to the fans. It doesn’t occur to me in the moment to say thank you and goodbye for what will surely be the final time. After all, what is football if not a beautiful and cruel game, played by athletes, enjoyed equally by the loyal and the fickle and managed by the foolish and the expendable? I suppose my stint as France manager was bound to end this way: Finally and inevitably outscored.

C’est la vie. Merci et adieu. Vive la fucking Franj.

206.5 8 le sac.png

But at least we won the Auxerre Cup, so you know… Bollocks.

Screen Shot 2018-07-21 at 14.58.54

Screen Shot 2018-07-21 at 14.58.55

206 9 defeat.png

Euro 24 Part 17 >

Quarter Final Roundup & Semi Final Preview (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Euro 24 Part 15)

Let’s have a gander.

Start from the start with episode 1

< Euro 24 Part 14

It’s been a long old round, hasn’t it? Nevertheless the quarter finals of this tournament, so far choc full of goals, have not disappointed. In these 4 matches between the final 8, the ball hit the back of the net no less than 21 times, 3 of which were own goals and that’s not even including a good old fashioned penalty shoot out!

Don Collins has actually disappeared off the face of the Earth since his stress-induced rampa… Flu, although we at the BBC have heard rumours that he was sighted in Italy setting up Home Alone-esque booby traps in the Norwegian team hotel. In his absence, I’m the equally Scottish but sufficiently emotionally detached John Hutchison. Let’s have a gander.


Netherlands v Portugal

In a real clash of the titans at the Stadio Olympico, the Netherlands faced up against Portugal. Both teams had had terrific tournaments so far and the Netherlands were one of only 2 sides in the Quarter Finals to have retained an untarnished record after 5 consecutive wins. Something had to give. The first 27 minutes were tightly contested between the 2 confident nations, but a 5 minute double salvo from Portuguese striker Zé Gomes soon silenced the Dutch support. The 2 goals were remarkably similar; Both set up by Gelson Martins’ crosses and volleyed by Zé Gomes, although he needed a second attempt for his second goal after his initial shot came back off the post. 5 minutes before half time a Portuguese free kick broke down and the Netherlands countered through Paul Van de Leuv. He slipped in Memphis Depay, who drilled low past Costa to give his nation a glimpse of hope. Sadly within 5 minutes this hope dissipated. In the 42nd minute, Riechedly Bazoer slid in appallingly recklessly on João Carvalho, earning a second yellow card and his marching orders. Then a minute before the break, Bruma’s cross was batted into the net by Dutch keeper Jeroen Zoet.

The defeat on it’s own may not have been that disappointing against such a fantastic Portugal side, but the fact that the Netherlands voluntarily hammered the final 2 nails into their own coffin ensures them a bitterly disappointing exit from Euro 24. Portugal meanwhile march ever onwards into the Semi Finals.

Screenshot 2018-11-07 at 19.55.04


Germany v Belgium

Germany taking on Belgium at the Stadio San Nicola was seen by many as the tie of the round. Which of these sides could possibly have been on their way home?! Could it be the Germans with the silky link up play of Silvio Cvitanovic and the free-scoring Christopher Dieckmann? The side that had just demolished the Romanians? Or could it be Belgium, with their midfield maestro Youri Tielemans, their breakout star Mo Hamoudan and the ever-dangerous Divock Origi?

We had to wait until after half time to find out as despite Germany’s absolute first half domination they were unable to go into the break with a lead. This, combined with the nature of the opening goal will no doubt haunt them for some time. 5 minutes after coming on as a substitute, Belgium’s Cas Willems instigated a chance by crossing in from the right wing. Nany Dimata got a touch, then so did centre back Florian Ahlfänger, who shouldered the ball into his own net. The Germans persevered and shots rained down upon Thibaut Courtois’ net, but with 20 minutes to go the game was put to bed when Belgium’s makeshift holding man Björn Engels took hold of a loose ball and thwacked it past Torben Danner from the edge of the box.

There’s nothing that quite hammers home the stakes like a German exit from an international tournament. The time for mistakes is over for the remaining sides and the time to be clinical is now. Only one side entered the match with this mentality and that’s why Belgium are in the Semi-Finals.

Screenshot 2018-11-07 at 19.55.51


Ukraine v France

The seemingly unstoppable Ukrainian underdogs took on the underperforming but somewhat revived reigning World Champions France at the Stadio Artemio Franchi and fans flocked to see the potential giant killing that awaited.

Throughout a balanced first half a Ukrainian win seemed very much on the cards. They twice took the lead, first through Maxim Tankov’s drilled shot and then through an excruciating own goal by Lionel Gauthier after a shot hit the post and bounced in off his back, but France came back both times thanks to a Kylian Mbappé header and a Corentin Tolisso tap in, tying the score up at 2-2 for half time. The second half begun with another Ukrainian finding the net, but this time it was Victor Kovalenko who deflected the ball past his own keeper as France took the lead for the first time. From there it was quite an uncomfortable watch for the neutrals as the French twisted the knife. Mbappé scored from the spot and Djibril Sidibé finished an excellent passing move to make it 5-2 before the hour. Lamine Fomba made it 6 with 20 minutes to go, scoring his first goal for the national team and he was then joined on the scoresheet by his Auxerre team mate Abdoulaye Sissako in the final minutes of the match. 7-2 it finished after a brutal display of clinical finishing in the second half left Ukraine powerless to resist.

Somewhere in the heart of Paris, perhaps as I like to imagine on top of the Eiffel Tower in a glass case marked In case of an underperforming national team, break glass, is a tap marked “Goals”. Someone has turned that tap as far as it’ll go and as a result, despite the defensive frailties that have clearly still not gone away, the French cannot stop scoring. For Ukraine though, the fairytale ends here.

Screenshot 2018-11-07 at 20.02.18


Norway v England

So who would join Portugal, Belgium and France in the Semi Finals? Norway topped their group on goal difference and were the sole survivors of Group C after Germany’s defeat but their penalty shootout win over Scotland left many unimpressed, none more so than our own Don Collins (As an aside, if you do see Don anywhere near the Italian capital, do let local authorities know and do not approach him… Lest you catch his flu). England also topped their group and scuppered Italy in the second round with an efficient performance.

In front of 80,000 fans at the San Siro the match started slowly but quickly heated up when Oddbjørn Thoresen glanced in Jonas Svensson’s cross from close range after half an hour. The tackles begun flying in recklessly and both sides gave the referee Mr Collum a lot of decisions to make, but it wasn’t until the hour mark that he took action, pointing to the spot when Norwegian skipper Birger Meling pushed Dele Alli in the box. Alli converted the penalty himself to put England back on track. The English completed their turnaround with little over 10 minutes remaining when Harry Winks’ blocked shot fell to Nathan Redmond, who struck past Ørjan Nyland, sending the English contingent into raptures but not exactly impressing the Norwegian or Italian sections of the crowd. “3 Lions” rung around the ground as the English continued to assure their rivals that football was coming home, but then in the 86th minute, Norway roared back onto level terms when Thoresen tapped in Ronny Rossbach’s cross at the near post. With England’s fans now decidedly uncertain about whether or not football was actually coming home, the singing died back down.

And so to extra time, where the tired legs began to show and the cracks started to emerge. It was Norway’s turn to take the lead 5 minutes in when a hoofed ball from Sander Berge bypassed Juddy Lokando and fell to Rossbach. He forced an excellent save from Jack Butland but then volleyed in the rebound to make it 3-2 to Norway. But still this absolute battle of a match refused to die. Just after half time in extra time, Alli poked the ball through for Oliver Webb, who jabbed a shot past Nyland to equalise and send the game to penalties.

Dele Alli took responsibility of the first kick but failed to repeat his normal time heroics as he shot straight at Ørjan Nyland, but Norway’s 4th was saved by Butland and so the sides went to sudden death for a final penalty each, with Nyland the hero for the second successive match as he kept out Eric Dier’s effort and allowed Berge to clinch it for Norway.

Credit must go to both sides of course for a fantastic end-to-end match and for their determination throughout, but for Eddie Howe’s England, football will not be coming home for at least 2 more years. It’s Norway that march on, no doubt exhausted by back-to-back 120 minute matches and no doubt bloodied and bruised by the battling nature of those ties, but you simply cannot deny that they deserve their place in the Semi Finals. They’ll be heavy underdogs in the final 4, but the Norwegians have endeared themselves to the Italians, to the neutrals and to the world.

But presumably not to the English.

And definitely not to Don Collins. Come home, Don.

Screenshot 2018-11-07 at 20.03.17Screenshot 2018-11-07 at 20.04.29

So that’s our final 4! Where does the time go, eh? One minute you’re watching the smiles of anticipation evaporate from Northern Irish faces against Romania and the next we’re down to the Semis. Let’s have a quick look.


Semi-Finals Preview

Belgium v France

Goals, goals, goals and goals is my prediction. Although Belgium found it tough against Germany and needed a slice of luck to get them off the mark, they’ve still got plenty left in the tank, while France have scored 13 in their last 2 matches, which… Well it’s absurd, isn’t it. As for which way it’ll go, your guess is as good as mine, but if I was a betting man I’d say France.


Norway v Portugal

Is it too obvious to predict a routine Portuguese win? Portugal really are excellent but Norway have proved their ability to come out on top by the skin of their teeth 3 times now. I think it depends how fit the squad will be after taking both of their knockout matches to penalties.

205 16 semis


I’ll see you back here next week when only the finalists remain.

Euro 24 Part 16 >

Not A Recap (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Euro 24 Part 14)

I’m merely getting the events of Euro 24 so far clear in my head.

Start from the start with episode 1

< Meta-sode 200.???

“Right, so we came back from 2 goals down in our first Group Stage match against England, nicking a 2-2 draw, then followed that up with an uncomfortable win over Georgia and a narrow one over Denmark.”

“Sorry?” Bechkoura looks up from his morning newspaper in bemusement.

“In the Second Round we finally turned up,” I continue, pausing for a moment to sink my teeth into a slice of buttered toast. “Smashing 6 past Spain and showing our credentials as one of the favourites for the tournament.”

“Boss, are you… Are you recapping?”

“No I’m not recapping.” I scathe, through a mouthful of buttery mush. “I’m merely getting the events of Euro 24 so far clear in my head.” Bechkoura frowns.

“Out loud?”

“Yes. Out loud. Problem?”

“For who’s benefit though?”

“Mine!” I throw him an incredulous look. “Look, will you let me…”

“It just feels like you’re recapping, which is an odd thing to do given that the Ukraine game was 4 days ago. I’m fully aware of…”

“UKRAINE!” I beam at my assistant as I plough ahead. “Ah yes, Ukraine in the Quarter Final. They were heady days, Bechkoura. Heady days indeed.” I ignore his pointed sigh.

“It was Saturday!” He protests.

“And what a heady Saturday it was.” I agree wistfully. “Tankov had us on the ropes in the first half as we struggled to keep up, but BAM! BAM!” I slam my fist on the table twice. “Mbappé! Tolisso! And then SKADOOSH!” I hurl the remaining toast towards my assistant dramatically. “5 more goals! Fomba off the mark! Sissako with his 2nd for France! Un triomph magnifique!”

“I know! I know all of this!” Bechkoura splutters as he brushes toast crumbs off his front.

“You do now.” I concur with a smile. “Because I recapped it for you. Actually no, not recapped. I reminded you, that’s all.”

“But I didn’t need-”

“And now Belgium await! Belgium in the Semis, then the Final and then glory! Victory!” I make for the door, stopping only when my assistant pipes up once more.

“Boss, what are you doing now?”

“The same thing I’ll be doing every 4 years from here on out, Bechkoura.” I turn back to him with a grin. “Trying to take over the World.” And I step out of the hotel room, content with the dramatic nature of my exit.

“You remember this is the Euros, don’t you?” He calls after me. “Not the World Cup?”

“Europe then!” I call back. “You fucking pedant.”

Euro 24 Part 15 >

Listen (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Meta-sode 200.???)

81 days is far too long really, isn’t it.

< Euro 24 Part 13

Update (10th Feb): Episodes starting again next Monday (18th). I now have a backlog which will allow us to finish off the Euros, go through the Summer reviews and go into next season without a break! See you then

Update (5th Feb): Back soon 🙂

Greetings and Salutations! I hope you all had a great and reasonably stressless Christmas and New Year and are enjoying 2019 so far.

Listen, I am coming back. Not this week and not next week, but I am coming back to finish this story. It’s apparently 81 days since I published the quarter final against Ukraine and that’s certainly longer than I intended, but I just haven’t been able to find the motivation. I’m almost certain I’ve touched on this in the past so I’m sorry if I’m repeating myself, but I need to be in the right headspace to write this stuff and a couple of busy weeks turned into a busy month, which quickly turned into Christmas and blah blah blah. If I don’t have motivation, I write shit episodes and I don’t want to do that.

I have however been writing recently in an effort to build up a bit of a backlog of episodes that should help speed things along once I do come back, but it’s just taking me a bit of time to get everything in order. One thing I do want to make perfectly clear though is that although I may stop now and again, I am always going to come back and continue writing until this story has finished properly, which it has certainly not yet done. It’s coming up on 2 years since I started writing it and has probably taken thousands of hours to put together, so I am sticking with it right to the end!

I am sorry that I sort of went off the grid without warning, but after some of the recent comments on my last post I thought I’d better reiterate my position: We’re going to finish the Euros, we’re going to do the usual Summer episodes (Top marks if anyone remembers enough of last season to be able to send me their TAFAFUE nominations) and we’re going to kick off the 2024/25 season as soon as I manage to get it all sorted. Hurley, Hicham and Big Phil as my witnesses.

As always thank you for sticking with me, you gloriously loyal people. I hope the new season will be worth the wait.

Cheers,

Franjo

Euro 24 Part 14 >

Ukraine v France (QF)(Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Euro 24 Part 13)

Bloody near perfection

Start from the start with episode 1

< Euro 24 Part 12

My Short Stories WordPress

205 1 ukraine difficult challenge.png

“Benoît? How’s everything going?” I hold the phone to my ear, straining to block out the peripheral noise on the other end and hear Cheyrou’s reply.

“WE’LL FUCKING KILL ‘EM!” He screams abruptly, cutting through the noise like a hot knife through… Thin air. I sigh.

“It’s a friendly, Benoît. A friendly. Remember? We don’t need-“

“COME ON!” He screeches, “BRING ME THEIR FUCKING HEADS!” The remark is followed up by the ominous sound of glass smashing.

“Keep me updated, won’t you.” I say, secretly hoping that he won’t. I can tell from the distant yells and Wilhelm screams that Benoît’s already abandoned our conversation and started one of his trademark pre-match team talks, so I hang up. From somewhere in front of me I hear a tut and look up to see my assistant, watching me from my hotel room doorway. “Do you not have your own room?” I ask.

“I told you so.” Bechkoura’s shit eating grin is tinged with false sympathy. He lifts a big red apple to his mouth, breathes on it for some reason and then takes a huge bite, before continuing through a mouthful of it’s flesh. “I told you what’d happen if you left Benoît Cheyrou in charge of pre-season. People will die, Franjo.”

“Benoît’s all talk.” I reply, unconvincingly.

“I’m just saying. I would’ve done a much better job of…”

“You’ve ‘just said’ that a number of times, David,” I make little mocking quotation marks with my fingers. “And I keep ‘just telling’ you that you’re here with me, aren’t you. So how on Earth do you reckon you’d conduct Auxerre’s pre-season from Italy, you fucking waffle?”

Bechkoura opens his mouth ready to speak, but then decides against it.

205 5 preview.png

I’m doing a bit more rotation today for France’s Quarter Final match against Ukraine. I don’t want to give the impression that I’m underestimating them as I’m certainly not, but Antoine Griezmann could do with another rest after bagging a brace against Spain, Rabiot could too and Raphaël Varane’s been our only ever-present outfield player so far and so could definitely benefit from catching his breath. Neal Maupay, Corentin Tolisso and Aymeric Laporte replace the trio.

205 6 formations.png

I tell you what I could do without: An injury to Kylian Mbappé. 8 minutes in he takes a cheeky elbow to the ribs, but after assessment from the physio’s he’s deemed fit to play on. Hang in there, you brilliant and apparently fragile thing.

A few minutes later I’m struck with that familiar sense of dread when Kovalenko sends a pass between Laporte and Umtiti and Maxim Tankov steals in ahead of the latter to gather the ball on the edge of our box. The striker, who I touted as a possible Golden Boot winner before the tournament but who has yet to find the net, looks up and picks his spot. With a swing of his boot, the ball skids away off the turf and nestles with prickling inevitability in the bottom corner of Leo Gauthier’s net.

Why now, Maxim? Why against us? Straight from kick off a French attack breaks down and Ukraine counter, allowing the prick to have another go. Collecting the ball in his own half and surging at our defence, Tankov runs straight past Umtiti, then Laporte, then skips past Sidibé for good measure. He drills another shot towards the bottom corner from 12 yards, but this time Gauthier proves equal to it, parrying the ball behind for a corner. A few seconds later Zinchenko swings the ball in and Kovalenko rises highest to head towards goal, but Gauthier saves well again, allowing us to finally clear our lines.

In the 17th minute, we shake off our early oppression and have a go ourselves, with the bruised but unbroken Kylian Mbappé switching the ball from left to right to Neal Maupay, who sends a cross into the 6 yard box where Mbappé arrives quite unmarked to head us level.

We head towards half time as the dominant team but 20 minutes after our equalising goal, Ukraine strike again: Umtiti spectacularly fails to clear Yarmolenko’s cross and merely boots the ball to Zinchenko 12 yards out. Zinchenko smashes a shot against the far post, but the ball rebounds and hits Gauthier on the back before bobbling into the net. 5 minutes later though we draw level once again and again Neal Maupay plays a major part, this time dribbling through the centre of the pitch and finding Sidibé on the right, who’s charging forwards on the overlap. Sidibé whips a lovely cross into the 6 yard box and Corentin Tolisso of all people gets on the end of it to side foot a volley past Shevchenko from close range.

After a quick pep talk we head out for the second half at 2-2, but the scoreline changes within 2 minutes thanks to Ukraine’s Kovalenko, although not in the way you’d expect. Tolisso’s low cross deflects off the midfielder’s foot and wrong foots Shevchenko before finding the net to put us ahead.

Just minutes later we get a nice little boost when Coman brings the ball out of the air in Ukraine’s box only to be clumsily tripped by Boryachuk. The referee points to the spot and Mbappé, eager to dispel the myth that he’s a bad penalty taker after the one he sneaked in during the Group Stage, hammers the ball into the top right corner to put us 4-2 ahead.

I’m obviously still wary of Ukraine’s threat, despite the quiet 40 minutes or so that Tankov’s had since his goal, but I decide to rest a few more players ahead of the Semi-Final we should now be playing against Germany or Belgium. Lemar replaces the injured-ish Mbappé, Abi Sissako comes on in place of Tiémoué Bakayoko and Paul Pogba hands his captain’s armband over to Aymeric Laporte as he heads to the bench to be replaced by Lamine Fomba, who makes his tournament debut.

Within 12 minutes of kicking off the second half level, the scoreline’s stretched to 5-2 courtesy of a beautiful one-touch move. Sissako to Coman, then on to Lemar. The winger taps the ball straight into the path of Sidibé, who bursts uncharacteristically into the box from the right wing. Sidibé takes a touch to get him into the 6 yard box and slides a shot beyond Shevchenko and into the far bottom corner. It’s a beautiful move and a well deserved goal for a superb footballer.

With 70 minutes on the clock, we’re cruising comfortably and rather satisfyingly past a tough Ukrainian side and I’m happy. I’m even happier 2 minutes later though, when Lucas Digne, one of our main creators in the last couple of matches, drifts a cross into our opposition’s box from the left and Lamine bloody Fomba arrives at the near post to half-volley in his first France goal from 8 yards. What a lad.

2 minutes from the end we put the cherry on top: Another break from Digne down the left wing, another cross this time to the penalty spot and Abi Sissako guides the ball into the far bottom corner on the half volley. Sissako, beaming from ear to ear, sprints over to Lamine Fomba, who picks his team mate up before they’re joined by the rest of the team.

Although I feel for Ukraine and think they’ve had an impressive tournament, I’ll go back to the hotel a happy man tonight having sent them home. A 7-2 French win and a goal each for my Auxerre boys, while Cheyrou’s l’AJA took a 1-0 friendly win over Westerlo. Bloody near perfection.

205 7 post

205 8 win

205 14 fomba off mark

Meta-sode 200.??? >

Second Round Roundup & Quarter Final Preview (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Euro 24 Part 12)

By Don Collins

Start from the start with episode 1

< Euro 24 Part 11

My Short Stories WordPress

dc.png

Ah, knockout football: The point in an international tournament in which the gaps between matches grow longer and the World collectively tries to remember what we did with our time before we had a constant stream of football on which to gorge ourselves. 8 Second Round matches have been played, 30 goals have been scored and the Quarter Final ties have been finalised.

I’m Don Collins. Let’s tuck in.


Germany v Romania

Germany have recovered spectacularly from a faltering start to the tournament and are now seen as favourites by some. They continued their dominant streak at the Stadio Marc’Antonio Bentegodi by thumping a Romanian side who until now had had a very good and dignified tournament. Wilske Dimmier opened the scoring after just 6 minutes, strolling unchallenged through the centre of the park and placing a shot into Ionut Radu’s bottom corner. 2 more German goals seemed to put the game to bed either side of half time, with Christopher Dieckmann blasting one in from the edge of the box in injury time and Dimmer toe poking in his 2nd from 12 yards within minutes of the restart. The Germans continued to enjoy complete domination and after scoring at the start of the first half, the end of the first half and the start of the second half, it seemed only fitting that substitute Patrick Fulz turned his marker in second half injury time and clipped the 4th goal of the day past Radu.

Romania, the first victims of the Second Round, can still leave Euro 24 with their heads held high, having lost only to extremely good teams in the Netherlands and Germany. Germany now seem unstoppable though and will be confident of further victories whoever they meet in the Quarters.

Screenshot 2018-11-03 at 14.00.02


Turkey v Ukraine

One of the more intriguing ties of the round was at the Stadio Della Vittoria, where Turkey and Ukraine went head to head in a meeting between 2 sides who had so far outperformed their pre-tournament expectations. The match was dominated largely by Ukraine, while Turkey disappointingly resorted to focussing kicking their opponents rather than the ball. It took until the 72nd minute for the deadlock to be broken though when Mykola Sharapenko hoofed the ball upfield to start a Ukrainian counter attack. Substitute Alexey Sukhov then switched play from right to left, Andriy Yarmolenko slipped it down the line and Victor Kovalenko slid Ukraine into the lead. 5 minutes later things went from bad to worse for Turkey and specifically for centre back Selahattin Yildirim, who tried to smash the ball clear of his own half but only succeeded in hitting it against Kovalenko, after which it bounced through for Sukhov, who drilled in Ukraine’s 2nd. Yildirim then got caught flat footed by a long ball over the top and Sukhov sprinted past him to latch on, leaving the defender no option in his mind other than hauling the pacy striker to the floor and receiving a 2nd yellow card and a red for a professional foul. Sukhov then wrapped up the scoring with 5 minutes to go, volleying in Andriy Boryachuk’s cross to send Ukraine hurtling through to the Quarter Finals.

Turkey, who came into the tournament as one of the outsiders in their group, will be disappointed with how their Euro 24 adventure ended given how well it started. They were taken apart by Ukraine, who deservedly progress and who are one of only 3 nations remaining to have won all 4 of their matches.

Screenshot 2018-11-03 at 14.04.24


Belgium v Denmark

Denmark, who went through to the Second Round with the worst record of all the qualifying 3rd placed sides, had a real job on their hands when they took on Group D’s rampant Belgium side. Like in the Danes’ match against France, they were dominated entirely throughout the match but kept it fairly tight, only conceding the first goal of the game at the start of the second half. It was a painful one to watch after seeing such a hearty defensive performance, originating from Youri Tielemans’ lofted pass into the Danish box which Mads Roerslev tried and categorically failed to head back to goalkeeper Frederik Rønnow. He found Divock Origi instead, who was all alone 6 yards from goal and who promptly smashed the ball into the net to break the deadlock. The second goal was superb and again Tielemans was the creator, releasing Origi in space down the right channel. Origi chipped a cross in first time from the right byline and Mo Hamoudan arrived to volley the ball in at the far post. Danish substitute Wessam Abou Ali injected some creativity and drive into his side as they struggled to claw themselves back into the game, picking up the ball on the half way line and surging through the Belgian midfield, before sliding it through for Marco Ramkilde, who hammered past Thibaut Courtois from 8 yards. They failed to find an equaliser though as Belgium picked up another well earned win and progressed to the Quarters.

Belgium, along with Ukraine, have won all 4 matches so far and although the win was their narrowest so far, their domination was clear throughout. They now have their sights firmly set on going all the way to the final, while Denmark exit. The Danes can afford to be fairly proud, despite losing 3 out of their 4 matches and beating only Georgia. They found themselves in a tough group E and fought hard against both France and Belgium, but just lacked the quality to see them any further.

Screenshot 2018-11-03 at 14.10.22


Netherlands v Sweden

In yet another 1st v 3rd tie between Group A’s Netherlands and Group D’s Sweden, the odds were stacked firmly against the Scandinavians as the Dutch looked to continue their scintillating Group Stage form. The tournament’s joint top scorer Thomas Buitink opened the scoring for the Netherlands just 8 minutes in, curling past Jim Lindau after a clever reverse pass from Tom Watson set him in on goal. Robin Holmgren rose to meet Mattias Svanberg’s cross after 20 minutes and sent a looping header past Jeroen Zoet to equalise for the Swedes, but just 10 minutes later they were behind again, this time with Buitink crossing low into the box for Watson, who poked his side back into the lead from close range. Sweden were fortunate to be just a single goal behind at half time against the dominant Dutch, but that was soon corrected after the restart when Thomas Buitink laid the ball off for who else but Wesley Hoedt on the edge of the Swedish box. The centre back hammered a shot past Lindau, eventually sealing his side’s progression to the next round.

Like their fellow Scandinavians Denmark, Sweden can be proud to have reached the Second Round in the first place, coming through a tough Group D and giving their fans some memorable moments to take home with them, but it’s the Netherlands who’ll march on, having won 4 matches out of 4 and looking as likely as anyone to go all the way.

Screenshot 2018-11-03 at 14.16.38


Scotland v Norway

And fare thee weel, my only Luve and fare thee weel, a while,
And I will come again, my Luve, tho’ it were ten thousand mile.

Aye right… I cannae dae it. If wan bastart has the same steel in his een as Angus, it’s Ørjan Nyland. Twice denied Gauld, 2 penalties saved. We stuid agin him, proud Nyland’s airmie, but we cudnae send him hamewart tae think again. Get yesel tae fuck, Ørjan, ya wee fanny. Ya daft wee bastart, ye killed the dream! I cannae dae it, John! I CANNAE FUCKIN’ DAE IT! SQUARE GO, NYLAND! I’LL TAK THAE NORWEGIANS AW ON, THE WEE CU…

Editor’s Note: Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen! Due to an incredibly sudden bout of flu, Don Collins has been escorted from the premises by armed security personnel and is unable to continue writing this article, so you’re stuck with me, John Hutchison, for the remainder.

Scotland gave as good as they got really against Group C’s winners Norway at the Stadio San Paolo, but in the end neither side was able to find a goal in 120 minutes of football. Ørjan Nyland did indeed pull off a couple of spectacular saves to deny Ryan Gauld in extra time and then went on to secure his place in the hearts of the Norwegian public by saving penalties from Aitchison and McGinn in the shootout, allowing Fredrik Midtsjø to score the decisive penalty and send his nation through at the Scots’ expense. Norway will be quietly confident after outperforming expectations so far, winning 3 out of their 4 Euro 24 matches.

Screenshot 2018-11-03 at 14.22.10


Spain v France

Well look who’s decided to turn up! France have arrived, ladies and gentleman and good guests that they are, they’ve brought over a vintage 2024 bottle of Spanish tears for us to enjoy throughout the remainder of the tournament. The majority of the first half at the San Siro was dominated by the French and they almost went into the break with a 2 goal cushion to show for it after an Antoine Griezmann header and a close range finish from Kingsley Coman put them in the driving seat. Asier Villalibre clawed back some hope for Spain on the stroke of half time with a driven finish, but it didn’t take long for France to reopen the gap between the sides after the restart. Griezmann and Coman both secured braces as France played some really silky football, with the former curling past De Gea and the latter poking home a 4th goal from close range, but then the Spanish tragedy turned into something of a comedy when David De Gea nonchalantly dropped the ball at his feet and gifted it to Paul Pogba, who tapped in France’s 5th. Villalibre scored a consolation goal soon after courtesy of some dubious French defending, but then Nabil Fekir blasted the ball in with mere minutes to go to complete the scoring in a resounding victory.

Franjo’s France will go through to the Quarter Finals with some confidence, having finally started to show some of the quality that we’d expected before the tournament began. Marcelino’s Spain however are on their way home. Their opening day victory over Switzerland promised much, but their subsequent narrow victory over Scotland, toothless defeat against Serbia and absolute gubbing at the hands of the French mean that some serious questions will be asked about the future of the National side.

Screenshot 2018-11-03 at 14.35.11


Italy v England

The hosts were given a tough Second Round draw against Group E winners England after only managing a 2nd place finish in their group, but expectations on the exciting young Italian side were high nonetheless. The English continued their stellar group form against the dominant Italians, opening the scoring through Dele Alli, who strolled through the centre of the park and blasted the ball past Gianluigi Donnarumma just before the half hour. Harry Kane secured the win on the hour when he converted a penalty that he himself had won when Riccardo Mansueto tripped him in the box.

Hype is suddenly building around Eddie Howe’s side as apart from the last half hour against France in their Group E opening game, they’re yet to concede a goal and have won their last 3 matches in a row. Italy though exit their own tournament at the Second Round and will be sickeningly disappointed with their overall performance. Wins against Poland and Sweden will take a backseat in the post-exit analysis by media and fans, while their failure to compete against Belgium and England will be the focus of the discussion. With the exciting young generation of players that they have, Italy could and should have gone farther.

Screenshot 2018-11-03 at 14.35.36


Serbia v Portugal

The final match of the Second Round was played at the Juventus Stadium, where Group F runners up Serbia took on Group B runners up Portugal. The Serbians came into the match after not exactly setting their group alight, but had remained unbeaten all the same with a win against Spain the standout performance. Portugal were huge favourites after qualifying comfortably from their group and showed early signs that the scoreline would be suitably comfortable when Gelson Martins opened the scoring 5 minutes in, intercepting a poor backpass by Milorad Stevanovic and drilling the ball low past Predrag Rajkovic. Only a few minutes later though, Serbia equalised when Save Petrov burst down the right wing and whipped in a cross that Dejan Lukic half volleyed past Diogo Costa, but then with a quarter of an hour gone the Portuguese retook their advantage: Bruma raced away on the counter after a Serbian corner was cleared and ran almost the entire length of the pitch with the ball at his feet before chipping it across for Gelson Martins, who tucked in his 2nd. Gelson turned provider before half time when he tore down the right and floated a cross straight onto the head of Gonçalo Guedes at the near post, who nodded in his side’s 3rd, but Serbia turned the pressure on again in the second half when Lukic’s corner was flapped at by Costa and the loose ball fell to substitute Mihajlo Pantovic, who smashed in his first international goal to make it 3-2. The scoreline was precarious until the 89th minute, when Gelson crossed for Guedes once more and the striker was hauled to the ground by Milos Stojanovic. The referee pointed to the spot and booked the defender and the honour of wrapping up Portugal’s place in the Quarter Final fell to João Mario, who blasted the ball into the bottom left from 12 yards.

Serbia will be happy with their tournament, having stayed in with a chance right up until the final minute and eventually losing to a Portuguese side with a lot of quality. Like so many others in the final 8, Portugal will have their sights set on winning it all after a strong showing so far.

Screenshot 2018-11-03 at 14.37.32


The time for slip ups is very much over! We’ve said goodbye to some good teams in the last few days: Condolences to Romania, Denmark, Turkey, Sweden, Scotland, Spain, Italy and Serbia as our pool of potential Euro 24 winners is whittled down from 16 to 8.

We’ve just got time for a peek at the Quarter Final draw.


Germany v Belgium

Potentially one of the matches of the tournament? 2 juggernauts that have been talked up more than most as potential winners will meet in the first Quarter Final match. Germany and Belgium have both been free-scoring so far and this one could go either way.


Ukraine v France

This could be interesting. Uncharitably labelled as the easiest draw that World Champions and pre-tournament favourites France could have been handed, we are well past the point now of thinking that Ukraine are a soft touch. The Ukrainians have conceded just 1 goal in 4 matches and that defensive resolve will surely be tested by a French team that have just remembered where the net is. France have shown that they absolutely have defensive frailties for Ukraine to exploit though.


Norway v England

England are in superb form, but they should not underestimate a Norway side that have been going about their business quietly but effectively. The Scandinavians will be looking to complete a United Kingdom double after sending Scotland packing but will be definite underdogs for this one.


Netherlands v Portugal

The final Quarter Final match is between the seemingly unstoppable Netherlands and the virtually unstoppable Portuguese. Another 2 sides that have ambitions of winning the Euros; This one should be a doozy.


204 18 quarters.png


16 teams have become 8, now 8 will become 4. I might see you afterwards to pick through the bones of what could be 4 extremely entertaining matches, or I might not. It depends whether Don gets his……… Flu……… Under control. Bye for now.

Euro 24 Part 13 >

Spain v France (SR)(Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Euro 24 Part 11)

Una cerveza por favor

Start from the start with episode 1

< Euro 24 Part 10

My Short Stories WordPress

204 7 judgement day.png

“Did they not have any of that pulled pork?” Asks Bechkoura, giving the impression that he has no interest whatsoever in the answer.

“To beat the Spanish…” I ponder out loud, through a mouthful of food, “One must think like the Spanish. One must eat, drink and breathe as the Spanish do.” I spoon another mouthful of rice into my mouth.

“Right. So paella and a beer.”

“Una cerveza.” I correct him.

“Paella and… Una cerveza. This is your plan to reach the Quarters, is it?”

“It’s San Miguel.” I clarify, spraying rice over the table. “And I’ll thank you not to question my methods, Bechkoura. Have I mentioned in the last few days that-“

“Yes.” Bechkoura snarls, through gritted teeth. “You have mentioned your Pro License. Many more times than was necessary, actually.”

204 2 pro license

204 3 me

“As the only pro in the room that holds a Pro License,” I purr, spraying yet more rice across the room, “I will decide what is an appropriate number of times to mention my current status as Pro License holder, thank you. So por favor… Fuck off.”

Bechkoura glares. Then sighs. Then leaves.

204 6 take on spain.png

Don Collins miraculously made quite an interesting point in his roundup the other day, I’m not sure if you caught it. As much flack as I’m now receiving on a daily basis for France’s performances, Spain haven’t been that great themselves in Euro 24. They lost against Serbia, which… Fine, they played a second string, but they just scraped past Scotland! Scotland! I’d say that we’ve given a far better showing than them so far, so my plan remains the same as always: Project Renaissance is our system, scoring more than Spain is our goal. Now with a Pro License holder at the helm, what could possibly go wrong?

204 10 preview.png

3 of the players that were rested against Denmark come back into the side today: Adrien Rabiot replaces Corentin Tolisso in midfield, Paul Pogba replaces Thomas Lemar, who I must admit I’ve been disappointed in during the group stage and Antoine Griezmann replaces Neal Maupay up top. I considered giving Moussa Dembélé his first start of the tournament but I think he’ll be most useful as an if-needed impact sub again. Aymeric Laporte stays on the bench though as I was fairly pleased with Samuel Umtiti and want to give him another game to see if he keeps impressing.

“Watch Morata like a fucking hawk.” I stress to Umtiti before we head out for kick off. “He’s played 1 match, scored 2 goals and he’ll be chomping at the bit to show Marcelino he should’ve played more.” Umtiti nods stoically. “Like a fucking hawk.” I repeat, for effect.

“Caw.” Grins the centre back.

204 11 formations

Although I’ve definitely learned over the last few games that the first 10 minutes of European Championship football matches can be deceiving, I have to say I’m buoyed by our start. Our first good chance comes in the 9th minute when we work the ball marvellously through the middle of the park and Griezmann receives it on the edge of the Spanish area, drawing a centre back away to make room for Paul Pogba before laying the ball off for him in space. Pogba stabs a shot goalwards but it’s straight down the throat of De Gea, who catches it comfortably.

Another chance comes our way 2 minutes later and again, it’s a good move through the centre that creates it. This time, Pogba looks up 30 yards from goal and sprays the ball out to Digne on the left wing. The left back’s cross is deflected and bounces back to Rabiot, who shoots low and hard from the edge of the area and forces a good save from De Gea down to his right.

2 minutes after that, we’re really piling the pressure on, penning Spain back into their half as we dominante. Mbappé picks up the ball in the left channel, spots Digne once again bombing past Bellerin releases him with a good pass along the floor. Digne controls the ball and turns inside, causing the pursuing Bellerin to run past him and then curls a right footed cross in towards the far post. Griezmann races Toni lato to the ball… Griezmann gets there first… GRIEZMANN!

My fist hammers the air as pandemonium takes over the 80,000 strong crowd at the San Siro. I feel like I could punch a whole straight through the ozone layer, melting all the ice in the world single handedly. This is what I wanted. This is what France can do. It’s a beautiful finish by Griezmann, who beat PSG’s Lato for pace and then guided a header back across goal, perfectly under De Gea into the far bottom corner of the net. But it’s our overall play that I’m most happy with. I’d rate our performance in the first 13 minutes as 11/10. We’ve arrived. Fucking finally.

Inevitably, we’re nearly pegged back within 10 minutes when Villalibre plays a clever pass beyond Umtiti, allowing Morata to run through on goal and hammer a shot against the foot of the post. I’ll ‘Caw’ you, sunshine. “LIKE A FUCKING HAWK!” I scream, prompting an apologetic raised hand from Umtiti and a very peculiar look from my opposite number Marcelino.

10 minutes from the break, we win a corner. Kylian Mbappé runs over, swings a deep cross towards the far post and Bakayoko rises above Jorge Meré to nod it down. Suddenly Coman’s there in acres of space! Criminally unmarked 6 yards out! KINGSLEY COMAN – POKES IT HOME! A wide smile creeps across my face as Coman sprints past some euphoric French fans. 2-0. I see De Gea arguing with Meré. I see Marcelino arguing with his backroom staff. We’ve bloody got them. If we can take a 2 goal lead in at half time, we’ve bloody got them.

As the clock ticks over into injury time, Alvaro Morata receives the ball and curls a great pass over the top of our defence. Villalibre sprints after it, as does Varane, but the Spanish striker gets there first. He shakes off Varane, bares down on goal and drills a low shot past Gauthier and into the net. Of course he does.

I said after the Georgia game that France up to that point had felt, for lack of a better work, precarious. No situation has fitted that word more perfectly than the atmosphere in the dressing room when we head in for half time at 2-1. I feel like I’m walking on brilliant egg shells. The good feeling that we cultivated for precisely 45 minutes seems to have drained away in the couple more that were added on. I’ve never fully bought into the old saying that “2-0 is the most dangerous scoreline” as I think it’s very situational. Yes, in some cases 2-0 can lead to players taking their eye off the ball, or growing overly confident and becoming complacent, but I think in the majority of cases 2-0 just reflects that one side has had a comfortably better game than the other and if anything, the cushion just compounds the trailing side’s sense of hopelessness, making a comeback even less likely. This however seems to be one of those situations where 2-0 really was dangerous. We looked good. No, we looked brilliant. After 3 games of mediocrity we looked like we’d finally hit our stride and I think it was almost that sense of relief and the fact that we were so close to being able to regroup at the break that cost us our hard earned momentum. We did take our eyes off the ball and now in the opposite changing room, Marcelino will be full of praise and encouragement. He’ll be saying “You’ve got them scared”. He’ll be saying “Just keep going” and “You can do this”.

In the end I keep my team talk to 3 words: “Keep playing beautifully.” I reckon if they keep doing that, if they put the result out of their minds and keep playing the way they have been, the result will surely follow.

8 minutes after the restart, my brilliant French bastards oblige. An excellent one-touch move comprised of 7 passes and 8 touches of the ball ends up with Mbappé 25 yards out. One again he slides the ball through to Lucas Digne, who’s bombing into the left hand side of the box and then tees it up for Antoine Griezmann, who takes a touch and sweeps his shot beyond De Gea’s fingertips for 3-1.

There’s commotion on the Spanish bench as Marcelino goes into panic mode. Pablo Fornais and Germán Ramos are replaced by Sergi Roberto and Álex Grimaldo, then Sergi Samper replaces Abraham Perez just minutes later. I can’t help smirking. The scarers have once again become the scarees. Just seconds after Samper’s introduction, we get another chance too when Adrien Rabiot pokes a through ball into the path of Kingsley Coman. Spain’s defence is in shambles as Coman darts through towards the 6 yard box – And slots the ball under De Gea. 4-1. It’s 4-1 and it’s so fucking beautiful!

I suddenly realise that while Spain have used up all 3 substitutes, I’m yet to make any myself. I look down the bench and tell Fekir and Tolisso to warm up. Mbappé and Bakayoko soon make way as both could do with a rest, although for some reason I’m still reluctant to admit that we’ve got the win tied up. Fekir takes the lone striker role while Griezmann will join Coman on wing rotation duty. 10 minutes later, the score remains 4-1 and I opt to rest Sidibé too, bringing on Upamecano and shifting Tolisso over to right back, while Upa replaces him in midfield.

And then, with 17 minutes of the match to play, it happens: Surely the headline moment in the coming days and weeks and the moment that the people of France will talk about fondly years and decades from now when recounting today’s events. Griezmann swings a corner in and De Gea rises to pluck it out of the air. As the players disperse, anticipating a long kick upfield, the goalie drops the ball at his feet – And is promptly robbed by Paul Pogba, who places it into his Manchester United teammate’s empty net. I laugh. I try not to, but between a frustrating Group Stage, the murmurs of my sacking that’ve been steadily building in volume throughout the fans and media and my combined senses of sheer relief and disbelief, I can’t help it. I laugh my arse off as Paul Pogba sprints away to celebrate shamelessly with his compatriots.

A few minutes later we concede a second goal, but it does nothing to alter my mood even though it’s a bit of a defensive cock up on our part: We win a free kick just inside our own half and Varane takes it quickly – Too quickly, blasting the ball against Adrien Rabiot’s thigh and causing it to bounce straight back into the path of Villalibre. The striker shrugs off Varane again and runs in on goal before placing the ball into the top right corner of Gauthier’s net from 12 yards.

As the game edges towards it’s conclusion, we keep battering on the door looking for another goal. Kingsley Coman’s desperate to complete his hat trick and has 2 shots in quick succession blocked by team mates Fekir and Umtiti following a corner, but then within a minute of those chances a fine pass from Paul Pogba finds Nabil Fekir just inside the box and the Real Madrid man lashes the ball past De Gea on the turn.

Stick a fork in Spain, lads. They are decisively and irreparably done. If this had been a boxing match, the referee would’ve called it half an hour ago, but it wasn’t. It was a football match lasting 90 glorious minutes and I enjoyed every second. I have never felt more vindicated as I watch the Tricolores once again wave proudly all around me. We were electric. We were magnificent.

The Renaissance is finally in full swing and I dare anyone to try and stop it.

204 12 post

204 13 win

Euro 24 Part 12 >

Group Stage Roundup 3 & Second Round Preview (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Euro 24 Part 10)

By Don Collins

Start from the start with episode 1

< Euro 24 Part 9

My Short Stories WordPress

Where on Earth have you been?!

If you’re reading this then you’re in need of a catch up on an incredible round of action from Euro 2024 in which 12 matches were played, 48 goals were scored, 2 players netted hat tricks of penalties, 8 national teams made the long trip home (1 of whom failed to find the net in any of their 3 matches) and a further 10 joined the 6 already qualified nations in the Second Round, which begs the question: Just what have you been doing over the last few days that was so bloody important you could miss it?!

Never mind, I forgive you. My name’s Don Collins. Let’s read all about it.


Group A

Netherlands v Romania

The Dutch and the Romanians stepped onto the pitch of the Stadio San Nicola secure in their progression from the Group Stage, but also sure that at least one of them would lose their 100% record in the tournament so far in the proceeding 90 minutes. Neither side had even conceded a goal before kick off, which some claimed would make this a dull tie, devoid of action and stakes.

When Romania’s Florin Tanase curled a free kick in off the bar after half an hour however, he opened the scoring in what became a hard fought, high scoring thriller of a match between 2 sides determined to top Group A. Striker Razvan Marin certainly played his part either side of half time, first felling Jorrit Hendrix in the box in first half injury time, conceding a penalty that Thomas Buitink slotted in and then regaining Romania the lead 20 seconds after the break when his volley deflected in off Virgil Van Dijk. The unflappable Dutch were level again within minutes though, with Vincent Janssen meeting a Jetro Willems cross and forcing a save from Ionut Radut before tapping in on the rebound. With 20 minutes to play the match could’ve gone either way, but Romania were the architects of their own downfall, startlingly giving away 2 more penalties within a 5 minute period. Thomas Buitink and Vincent Janssen were brought down by Dan Berci and Raul Negoita respectively and Buitink stepped up to complete a hat trick of spot kicks, putting the result and their status as Group A winners beyond doubt.

Netherlands: – 1st (Group A Winners)

Romania: – 2nd (Qualified for Second Round)

Screenshot 2018-10-27 at 13.28.25.png


Russia v Northern Ireland

Both Russia and Northern Ireland knew that they’d need two things to progress from the Group Stage: 3 points and a metric tonne of luck. Even if either side won, they’d need two of the other 3rd placed teams in the other groups to have a worse or even points tally and a horrible goal difference.

The Russians dominated the match but were kept at bay for 70 minutes at the Stadio Della Vittoria by a Northern Ireland side that to their credit, has refused to give up throughout the Group Stage. Tragically for the tournament’s underdogs though, Brendan Moore clattered Russian substitute Nikita Ovchinnikov in the box following a 71st minute corner and Alexey Gasilin finally gave the dominant side the lead from the spot, scoring his nation’s first goal of Euro 2024. Russia made sure in the final knockings when Roman Zobnin slotted Andrey Makagonov through on goal and the substitute blasted in his first for his country, but the euphoria that sent the crowd into frenzy wouldn’t last more than a few days. Their 3 points and goal difference of -2 would turn out to be level with another team in the tournament and while Northern Ireland suffer the humiliation of jetting off home from Bari Karol Wojtyła Airport without even scoring a goal, Russia were dealt the agonising blow of being eliminated on goals scored.

Russia: – 3rd (Eliminated)

Northern Ireland: – 4th (Eliminated)

Screenshot 2018-10-27 at 13.29.19.png

Screenshot 2018-10-28 at 13.41.04


Group B

FYR Macedonia v Ukraine

Macedonia and Ukraine had had very different starts to their Group B campaigns. The Macedonians were yet to score but had shipped goals, while the Ukrainians were yet to concede and had scored just enough to secure early qualification for the Second Round. Macedonia knew that a win by 3 goals would at least see them rise above Russia in the race to qualify from 3rd place, providing that the Czech Republic lost fairly heavily to Portugal. Like so many teams, they needed a miracle at the Juventus Stadium.

After the Netherlands and Russia scored a combined 4 penalties in the first 2 matches of the round, it was no surprise to see this match get underway with another: Ukraine’s Alexey Ivanov was fouled by Stefan Andric just after the half hour and the Ukrainian right back and stand-in skipper Valeriy Luchkevych buried the resulting penalty in the top right corner. Macedonian heads dropped afterwards and the World seemed to write them off as an eliminated side, but then there was hope: Blagojce Filipovski found Martin Momirovski on the edge of the box, the striker picked his spot and squeezed a shot past Mykyta Schevchenko at his near post. It was quite possibly the biggest shock of the competition so far: The impenetrable Ukrainian defence had been broken by the toothless Macedonian attack. Game on. The neutrals watched on hoping that the second half of the match could contain the miracle that Macedonia were praying for, but sadly, it did not. Things very quickly went South when a second penalty was given away in the 54th minute, with Danila Babaev dragged to the floor by Macedonian substitute Saso Aliji. Luchkevych’s second spot kick was a carbon copy of his first; An emphatic finish to the top right. Stefan Andric received his marching orders just minutes later, tripping Maxim Tankov and earning a second yellow, but thankfully the foul was outside the box so at least Macedonia hadn’t conceded another penalty. Not for another 2 minutes, anyway. Before the hour mark, Filipovski seemed to lose his bloody mind and slid in off the ball on poor Babaev following a Ukrainian corner. The only miracle was that somehow Macedonia weren’t reduced to 9 men and indeed that Filipovski wasn’t even shown a yellow card, as the referee deemed a 3rd penalty punishment enough. One of the most unlikely hat tricks of the tournament was then completed when Ukraine’s right back Luchkevych stepped up and buried the ball in the bottom left, in stark contrast to his first two spot kicks. The cherry was put on top of Ukraine’s Group B clean sweep when Olexandr Zinchenko received the ball from Dmitry Petrenko 10 minutes from time and slotted it deftly into the bottom corner from the edge of the box.

Macedonia’s only shot of the match and only goal of the tournament will be remembered fondly, unlike the rest of their Euro 24 experience, while Ukraine march on, seen by many now as a possible dark horse.

FYR Macedonia: – 4th (Eliminated)

Ukraine: – 1st (Group B Winners)

Screenshot 2018-10-27 at 13.30.15.png


Portugal v Czech Republic

Portugal and the Czech Republic kicked off in Messena’s Stadio San Filippo level on 3 points, a goal difference of 1 and 2 goals scored, knowing that although a loss might see them scrape through and a draw would probably do, a win would guarantee 2nd place in Group B and progression to the Second Round.

It’s fair to say Portugal rose to this challenge most effectively. Renato Sanches teed up João Mario for a 20 yard half volley into the top corner after quarter of an hour and before half time they’d built themselves a 2 goal cushion through André Silva, who slotted in after Bruma squared the ball into the box from the left channel. The Czechs continued to flail in the second half as the Portuguese turned the knife. A long Diogo Dalot throw from the right was flapped at by goalkeeper Tomas Vaclik and Silva flicked the ball on for substitute Gelson Martins, who was unmarked at the far post to volley in his country’s 3rd. With 20 minutes to play, any hopes of a comeback were squashed when Renato Sanches picked out sub João Carvalho in acres of space 25 yards out. Carvalho took a touch and smashed the ball into the top right corner to complete a resounding victory. The only downside for the Portuguese was an André Silva injury 5 minutes from time, which has since been confirmed as a broken foot that’ll keep him sidelined for the rest of the Euros and then some.

Portugal will stroll through to the second round with Ukraine though, while the Czech Republic will rue their defensive collapse. A 1-0 loss would have seen them progress, but now with a goal difference of -3, they slide below even Russia in the 3rd place race. Czechia are eliminated on goal difference.

Portugal: 3rd -> 2nd (Qualified for Second Round)

Czech Republic: 2nd -> 3rd (Eliminated)

Screenshot 2018-10-27 at 13.30.43.png

Screenshot 2018-10-28 at 13.41.17


Group C

Croatia v Norway

Norway, on 3 points before the final game, had assurance that 3 more would see them through to the Second Round. Croatia on the other hand, had no points and could only hope. They needed the win and they needed Turkey to beat Germany. Then they needed some kind of mathematical miracle to see them progress.

Norway came out for the match like a bullet from a gun. After 4 minutes, Vidar Holm squared for Jørgan Strand Larsen, who curled in the opener from 20 yards, then 7 minutes later Tin Jedvaj slid in on Iver Fossum, only succeeding in knocking the ball over to Holm, who drove low into the bottom corner. Croatia scraped back a glimpse of that hope in the 20th minute, when Marko Pjaca found himself on the end of a Nikola Vlasik through ball and placed a shot beyond Rossbach, but within 5 minutes the Norwegians struck again: Jonas Svensson’s low cross from the right was met by Vidar Holm in the 6 yard box and he restored his country’s cushion. A deceptively even match was finished off when that man Holm flicked on a long ball from Tobias Svendsen and Oddbjørn Thoresen ran through to complete the 4-1 scoreline with a placed finish.

Norway will be exceptionally happy with their showing in the Group Stage: Wins against the pre-tournament Group C favourites Germany and Norway have won them the group and given them a good platform to build on. As even as the match was in terms of chances though, make no mistake: Euro 24 has been a catastrophic failure for Croatia. 0 points. 3 goals scored. 10 conceded. Marko Pjaca has put in some good performances and will leave with his head held high, but that’s about the only takeaway in a hugely disappointing Group Stage for the Croatians.

Croatia: – 4th (Eliminated)

Norway: 2nd -> 1st (Group C Winners)

Screenshot 2018-10-27 at 13.31.12


Turkey v Germany

Turkey took to the Stadio Olympico pitch bidding for a Group C clean sweep, having qualified with a match to spare in one of the biggest surprises of the Euros so far. Germany knew that despite the result between Croatia and Norway, a win would take them through.

The Germans’ win over Croatia built some momentum and they certainly brought that with them for this match. They were ahead within 20 minutes when PSG midfielder and Germany skipper Silvio Cvitanovic laid the ball off for Wilske Dimmier, who stroked it into the net beautifully from the edge of the box. Christopher Dieckmann, infuriated that his country had scored a goal without his contribution, then set about putting that right by picking the ball up 10 yards inside his own half and powering through towards the Turkish net at full speed. He skipped past Mehmet Niyaz, he surged past Yigithan Güveli, he reached the edge of the 6 yard box and he poked the ball past Akyüz. With 7 minutes still to go before the break, Dieckmann added a 3rd for Germany, receiving the ball with his back to goal on the edge of the area and curling a shot into the corner on the turn. Dieckmann’s been one of the players of the tournament so far and after another classy performance, it seems he’s still got more to give.

Turkey will be… Well, not disappointed exactly. They’ll be irked to have finished in 3rd place after such a promising start to the Group Stage. Now joined by 2 more of their group on 6 points, Turkey’s 0-3 loss to the Germans swaps the two teams’ goal differences, with Turkey’s finishing on 0 and Germany’s on 3. Norway’s goal difference of 4 clinches them the top spot, but all 3 sides will be decently pleased with their final positions.

Turkey: 1st -> 3rd (Qualified for Second Round)

Germany: 3rd -> 2nd (Qualified for Second Round)

Screenshot 2018-10-27 at 13.31.36.png

Screenshot 2018-10-28 at 13.41.27


Group D

Italy v Sweden

The hosts were under a mountain of pressure at the Stadio Marc’Antonio Bentegodi in a match that could send them through or send them home. Italy and Sweden started the match almost equal, both with 3 points but with the Swedes having a goal difference 1 better than their counterparts. Both sides knew that they would progress even with a loss (Within reason) as Italy would need to lose by 2 or 3 goals depending on goals scored to slip below Russia in the 3rd place race, while Sweden would need to lose by 3 or 4.

What resulted though was a hard fought match, with both sides vying to pick up the 3 points that’d send their fans home happy. Italy took the lead 27 minutes in when Gianluigi Cacioppini’s byline cross was volleyed in at the near post by Federico Chiesa, but on the hour mark Sweden equalised following a superb flowing move. Jonas Claesson’s clever pass split the defence and allowed Saed Haksabanovic to wriggle free through the left channel, after which he pulled it back for Jordan Larsson, son of Swedish legend Henrik, who got himself ahead of Luca Cesana to tap the ball home from close range. The Swedish fans were in jubilant mood right up until the 89th minute, when a sustained period of Italian pressure finally broke their resolve. Substitute Filippo Melegoni swung in a cross from the left, Chiesa held the ball up on the penalty spot and laid it off for young substitute Alessandro D’Innocenzo, who swiped in his first international goal in dramatic fashion on only his 2nd appearance for the national side.

The late drama and euphoria that D’Innocenzo’s goal created will surely buy Italy some much needed breathing room and good grace with their fans and media, who had been unimpressed with their loss against the Belgians. Sweden will be gutted to record their 2nd loss in 3 matches, especially so late on, but progression from one of the toughest groups at the tournament is still guaranteed and they should be proud of that.

Italy: 3rd -> 2nd (Qualified for Second Round)

Sweden: 2nd -> 3rd (Qualified for Second Round)

Screenshot 2018-10-27 at 13.31.57.png


Poland v Belgium

Poland’s chances of survival would have been low even if their last match hadn’t been against one of the most in-form sides at the tournament. Belgium, having already swept aside both Sweden and Italy, came to the Stadio Artemio Franchi expecting to record 3 wins out of 3 and put their opponents out of their Euro 24 misery.

It was Poland though who came tearing out of the traps, with Arkadiusz Milk rattling the bar with a powerful header after 7 minutes and then Kamil Padzik volleying in the opener from 6 yards just minutes later, after Stéphan Vandamme failed to reach a Kamil Joziwak cross. The Belgians hit back 10 minutes later when a defence splitting pass from Youri Tielemans released Mo Hamoudah, who was hacked down by Jan Bednarek close inside the box. Tieleman’s penalty kick was precise into the top left and the game was level once again. The Belgian fans howled for blood but again, Poland refused to roll over. After the half hour, Polish captain Jaroslaw Budzyn broke down the right wing, made a fool of Jordan Lukaku with some slick footwork and then squared the ball for Milik, who slid it into the corner from 10 yards to restore his side’s lead. Whether it was embarrassment, a half time dose of the hairdryer treatment or just grim determination, something got into Belgium for the second half. Tielemans’ lofted ball forward 5 minutes after the break was headed weakly away by Mateusz Wieteska as he collided with his outrushing goalkeeper Bartlomiej Dragowski, which allowed Kevin De Bruyne to cushion the ball down for Hamoudan, who tucked the ball into the empty net to equalise. 5 minutes later, the turnaround was completed when De Bruyne rose above Bednarek to flick the ball into the path of Divock Origi, who ran clean through and clipped the ball past the beaten Dragowski. From then on the match was only going to finish one way. After the hour mark a Tielemans free kick deflected into the net off the Polish wall and then Hamoudan wrapped up the scoring with a crisp finish from Origi’s low cross.

So after early promise from Poland, Belgium complete their clean sweep of Group C and the Polish head home. It’s a shame really that we were just beginning to see the best of the Polish offensive line as their tournament ended, but the fact remains that their defence is quite appalling, especially Jan Bednarek, who’ll take unwanted attention away from this match as he was at the heart of almost every Belgian goal. Belgium on the other hand are now a force to be reckoned with. With memories of Canada 22 rapidly fading in the rear view mirror, they’ve really got a chance of making something of this tournament.

Poland: – 4th (Eliminated)

Belgium: – 1st (Group D Winners)

Screenshot 2018-10-27 at 13.32.17.png

Screenshot 2018-10-28 at 13.41.37


Group E

Denmark v France

Denmark were hoping that France would be happy with sharing the spoils at the Stadio San Nicola, as a draw would see both sides comfortably through to the Second Round. France however were looking for a comfortable win after accusations that their previous results, a 2-2 draw with England and an uneasy 3-1 win over Georgia, were not up to scratch.

As penalties are all the rage at the minute, France got in on the action early when Thomas Delaney unceremoniously and needlessly bundled Lucas Digne to the ground after Vestergaard had already cleared a French corner. Kylian Mbappé’s spot kick was unconvincing but found the net thanks to some equally poor handling by Michaelsen and France took the lead. The Danes equalised against the run of play with the half hour approaching when Cornelius’ low cross was turned in by Kasper Dolberg, leaving the scores level at half time, much to the chagrin of the French fans. Both sides went close in the second half although France continued to dominate, with Kingsley Coman and Kylian Mbappé both heading against the woodwork and Leo Gauthier forced into a couple of superb saves by Dolberg and Ramkilde, but the scores stayed level. But then with under 20 minutes to play, the French finally found the winning goal when Neal Maupay’s looping effort crashed back off the bar to be tucked in by Raphaël Varane.

That result will do little to ease expectations or the building pressure on WT Franco, but for Denmark, it’s just enough. Their refusal to lose by more than a single goal leaves them on 3 points with a goal difference of -2. They progress through to the Second Round by the virtue of having scored 2 more goals than Russia.

Denmark: – 3rd (Qualified for Second Round)

France: – 2nd (Qualified for Second Round)

Screenshot 2018-10-27 at 13.32.51.png


Georgia v England

At the start of the match, only a thrashing at the hands of Georgia and a Denmark victory over France would prevent England from progressing to the Second Round, while only a thrashing over England and a France victory over Denmark would give Georgia any hope of qualification.

Georgia dominated the ball during the pair’s encounter at the Stadio Luigi Ferraris but came away with little to show for it as England hit them incisively time and time again. The English opened the scoring through Oliver Webb’s chipped ball to Marcus Rashford, who volleyed it in from the penalty spot. Rashford doubled his tally after half an hour after an absolutely superb flat pass down the right channel from Ross Barkley released Harry Kane, who then pulled it back from the byline and gave the United man an easy finish. Half time came and went, then in the 55th minute Kane headed down a lofted pass from Lewis Cook, allowing Rashford to bring the ball under control and then complete his hat trick in style, blasting into the bottom corner from the edge of the Georgian box. After the hour mark he struck once more too. Kane switched the play to Ed Lynes, who charged down the left wing leaving Solomon Kverkvella for dead and then whipped in a cross, which Rashford volleyed in from close range.

Out of nowhere, Marcus Rashford’s tally of 4 goals in a dominant win over Georgia has put him into the Golden Boot conversation as England sail comfortably through to the Second Round as Group E Winners. Georgia however head home, having just lacked the quality to compete in a tough group.

Georgia: – 4th (Eliminated)

England: – 1st (Group E Winners)

Screenshot 2018-10-27 at 13.33.13.png

Screenshot 2018-10-28 at 13.41.47


Group F

Spain v Serbia

Spain and Serbia will have gone into their tie at the Stadio San Paolo with very different mentalities, with Spain having made several changes having already won Group F with 6 points, while Serbia lagged behind them in 2nd place and with only 2.

In all honesty the result was not as much of a shock as it should have been. Spain didn’t really get out of second gear as they allowed Serbia to dominate the ball for large periods and eventually sneak the winning goal when substitute Sava Petrov chipped in a free kick that was glanced into the net by fellow sub Nemanja Antonov, who had been on the pitch for under 2 minutes. The match itself was scrappy, it was slow and it was just what Serbia wanted and needed as they secured 2nd place. The Spanish won’t be too bothered about the result itself as they’ve been able to rest key players, but their substitute Koké coming off with a hip injury that’ll end his tournament in the 89th minute certainly left a sour taste in the mouth.

Spain: – 1st (Group F Winners)

Serbia: – 2nd (Qualified for Second Round)

Screenshot 2018-10-27 at 13.33.40.png


Switzerland v Scotland

Till a’ the seas gang dry, my dear and the rocks melt wi’ the sun,
I will luve thee still, my dear, while the sands o’ life shall run.

The eagle eyed among you will have noticed that only 3 3rd placed teams have qualified so far and that Spain and Serbia finished 1st and 2nd in Group F. With all of the other groups’ matches already played, Switzerland and Scotland met in front of a crowd of over 80,000 at the San Siro on a point apiece, knowing that 3 points would take either side through to the Second Round as either the 2nd or 3rd placed side in Group F.

I’ve prepared a wee poem of my own if ye’ll indulge me:


When thon wee fanny Tarashaj put baw intae the net,

We Scots began tae greet fur ‘nother twa year ae regret.


The thistles stairtit deein’ an’ auld Nevis ‘gan tae shrink,

But aff came Strachan’s michty gloves tae drag us fae the brink.


Markie Broon scored fae the spot tae square it aw awa,

Thon fanny Shani struck once mair tae lead us at the break.


We tholed the songs, insults an’ aw, oor sodgers focht along,

We niver let oor laddies think oor hope in them had gone.


Aye right, thae Swiss an’ Tarashaj can get thaesels tae fuck,

Fur hawpin’ agin hawp that brave Scotland hud gien up.


‘Cause while thair fans were hootin’, Davey levelled up the game,

Then Jackie stuck a boot in fur tae send thae bastarts hame.


I warned ye that thon baw wud drap, I warned ye we’d reply,

I warned thae Swiss an’ Serbians an’ Spaniards that we’d rise.


Thay shudae kent tae pack thair pokes the moment thay hud seen,

The tartan army mairchin’ an’ the steel in Gunnie’s een.


Switzerland: – 4th (Eliminated)

Scotland: – 3rd (Qualified for Second Round)

Screenshot 2018-10-27 at 13.34.04.png

Screenshot 2018-10-28 at 13.41.58


So there we have it! Your final 16 is:

The Netherlands, Romania, Ukraine, Portugal, Norway, Germany, Turkey, Belgium, Italy, Sweden, England, France, Denmark, Spain, Serbia and Scotland.

Condolences to Russia, Northern Ireland, Czech Republic, FYR Macedonia, Croatia, Poland, Georgia and Switzerland.

But we can’t leave it there. Who’s facing who in the Second Round? Which clashes of the titans can we look forward to? I’m glad you ask…


Second Round Preview


Germany (2nd Group C) v Romania (2nd Group A)

Two sides that have picked up 6 points from their 3 Group Stage matches go head to head in the first of our Second Round ties. The momentum is with Germany however, who lost their opening tie against Norway but have since recorded comfortable wins over Croatia and Turkey, while Romania won their opening 2 matches against Northern Ireland and Russia without conceding, before losing precious momentum against the Netherlands in their last Group match.

Best Players So Far

Germany striker Christopher Dieckmann had a quiet start to the tournament but has exploded in the subsequent matches, scoring 5 goals, registering 1 assist and picking up 2 Player of the Match awards against Croatia and Turkey. Romania’s goals have been fewer than Germany’s and they’ve also been spread more evenly between their forward line, but Florin Tanase has impressed me most, registering a superb free kick goal and an assist so far.


Belgium (1st Group D) v Denmark (3rd Group E)

Belgium have torn through each nation they’ve come up against so far and Denmark, the lowest ranked of the 3rd place qualifiers, will just hope they can hold on for a penalty shootout, or shut up shop and sneak a late winner. The Danes have picked up just one win against Georgia but they put in a strong, resilient performance against France and that will give them hope.

Best Players So Far

Youri Tielemans has put in some excellent performances for Belgium so far, pulling the strings for his side and scoring 4 goals, albeit 3 from the spot. The player that’s impressed me even more though is Mohamed Hamoudan, who scored 3 goals and assisted 1 as his side dominated Group D. No Danish players have shone that brightly thus far, but I’ll say that Pierre-Emerick Højbjerg has been their best player. Along with midfield partner Thomas Delaney, Højbjerg has been consistently solid in the centre of the park and clinches my vote by virtue of not having given away a ridiculous penalty against France.


Turkey (3rd Group C) v Ukraine (1st Group B)

I had an inkling that Turkey would in fact beat Germany to become the 4th side to keep a 100% record throughout the Group Stage and I have to say, I do wish that this was a meeting between 2 teams that had won every match so far. As it is though, Turkey have suffered their first blip of an otherwise very promising tournament, while Ukraine have been getting the job done quite efficiently. Ukraine will certainly be the favourites, but Turkey have already shown that they are no pushovers.

Best Players So Far

Emre Günal has been excellent so far for Turkey, scoring one goal and assisting another, while no doubt counting himself unlucky to have picked up only one Player of the Match award against Norway. For Ukraine, goalkeeper Mykyta Shevchenko certainly deserves a mention for solid performances throughout the group stage, beaten just once against Macedonia, but how can I not give the honour of best player to their captain-for-the-day and hat trick scoring right back Valeriy Luchkevych? Solid performances again and a great story. Taras Stepanenko will be wondering when he’ll get that armband back.


Spain (1st Group F) v France (2nd Group E)

This one really leaps off the page, doesn’t it? Group F winners Spain against Group E runners up France. We’ve certainly seen glimpses of what both teams can do – Spain in the 2nd half against Switzerland, France in the last half hour against England, but for me both of these sides have been fairly disappointing so far. Yes they’ve qualified, but France struggled to beat Georgia and Denmark, while Spain scraped past Scotland and lost to Serbia. This could be a magnificent game of football, or it could be very forgettable. It depends which versions of the sides turn up.

Best Player So Far

Hector Bellerin stands out as one of the best Spanish performers, laying on a couple of goals for his team mates as well as remaining solid in the matches that he’s played (Thankfully he was left out of the Serbia tie), although it mystifies me why we’ve seen so little of Alvaro Morata, who scored a brace and laid on a goal in the opening match and who we haven’t seen since. For France, I’d have to give the honour to Paul Pogba. The captain scored 3 times in the 2 matches he played, winning the Player of the Match award against Georgia.


Scotland (3rd Group F) v Norway (1st Group C)

Scotland have already made me proud. 3rd place in Group F and progression to the Second Round is a feat in itself and for me, I think they would’ve climbed to 2nd if Spain hadn’t made so many changes for their final match and handed the win to Serbia. Norway will be tough opposition, losing only to Turkey in the Group Stage and showing their quality by piling the misery onto Croatia.

Best Players So Far

Angus Gunn for Scotland, obviously. For Norway, obviously you have to look at Vidar Holm for his contribution to the aforementioned dismantling of Croatia, but for me I’ve been impressed by Iver Fossum, who’s been a rock in the centre of midfield and has chipped in with a goal to boot.


Italy (2nd Group D) v England (1st Group E)

I’ll be getting the popcorn out for this one. Italy, aside from the disappointing result against Belgium, have been very good. England have also been very good. Both sides have quality players throughout and both sides are mostly putting in the performances to match.

Best Players So Far

I was disappointed to see Yuri Brugger dropped for Italy’s crucial second match after such a staggeringly impressive opening game, but actually when he came back into the side against Sweden he looked like a shadow of the player I saw against Poland. Most players have been fairly solid throughout the Group Stage, but in the absence of any one standout player, captain Gianluigi Donnarumma gets my vote for a string of steady performances. I’d also like to be the first to offer my condolences to my own twitter feed as I’m going to overlook Marcus Rashford for England’s best player so far despite his 4 goals against Georgia. I’m looking at players who’ve impressed me throughout the Group Stages and I reckon it’s a tie between Harry Kane and young Oliver Webb, who’ve each scored 2 goals, set up another 2 and have put in some exquisite performances.


Netherlands (1st Group A) v Sweden (3rd Group D)

The Netherlands have been so dominant right from the start that I rather think they’re being overlooked throughout Europe as people gravitate towards the likes of Belgium and Germany as likely winners. The Netherlands look like an absolute bohemoth though and in an admittedly quite soft group, they’ve qualified at a canter. I think we’re yet to see the best of them. Sweden on the other hand will have been hoping for an easier draw as they’ve lost both matches they’ve played against “better” sides. They’ll find it tough.

Best Players So Far

It’s difficult to look past Thomas Buitink for the Netherlands. He’s the joint top scorer in the Euros so far with Christopher Dieckmann and although 3 of his goals have come from penalties, he’s also shown his quality by assisting 2 more. 3 more if you include the penalty he won himself. For Sweden, Linus Wahlqvist deserves a mention for his admirable displays at the back, but Saed Haksabanovic gets my vote for scoring one, assisting one and putting in consistently good displays from the left wing.


Serbia (2nd Group F) v Portugal (2nd Group B)

Serbia are still a bit of an unknown quantity to me if I’m honest, despite having watched all 3 of their matches. They spent 90 minutes kicking the shins of Scotland players and drew, then they spent 90 minutes kicking the shins of Switzerland players and drew, then they spent 90 minute not kicking the shins of Spain’s 2nd string and won. I suppose my advice to them would be… Stop kicking people’s shins, you psychopaths. Shin kicking aside, Portugal will fancy their chances here. The only time they failed to comfortably win a Group Stage match was against Ukraine, a match in which they dominated everything except the scoreline and conceded from Ukraine’s only shot on target.

Best Players So Far

There’s not exactly a long list of players that’ve performed consistently well for Serbia. We may as well throw a dart at a list of names… Predrag Rajkovic? Sure, why not. Goalkeeper, captain, solid, only conceded once. For Portugal, the list is slightly longer and although I admit that João Mario’s 2 wonder goals nearly swayed me, I’m going for Renato Sanches. He’s been absolutely superb and for my money, one of the best players at the tournament so far. No goals and 3 assists to his name, but he’s been pulling strings constantly to keep his side ticking over.


That’ll be the Second Round, then. I’ll see you bright and early the morning after the last match for a full dissection.

Euro 24 Part 11 >

Denmark v France (GS3)(Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Euro 24 Part 9)

Let’s finally show the World who we are and what the French can do.

Start from the start with episode 1

< Euro 24 Part 8

My Short Stories WordPress

203 1 1 difficult challenge.png

“You have gone mad!” Bechkoura shouts, almost knocking a potted plant over as he paces furiously across the floor of my hotel room. “You have lost your mind. No Pogba? No Griezmann? No Laporte or Rabiot? That’s the entire spine of the team!”

“And they are knackered.” I reply calmly, not looking up from the barbecue pulled pork baguette and chips that the nice concierge lady was kind of enough to bring me. “They need a break.”

“Have you seen what the press are saying about you?” He snorts. “We need to win! We need our best players or you’re out on your ridiculous metal arse!”

“I’m out of a job if we don’t win the Euros full stop; dropping points against Denmark wouldn’t change anything.” I glare at him now, my mouth covered in BBQ sauce. “We’ll still go through with a draw, but we won’t just get a draw because we’re France and we’ve got depth haven’t we, you clod. The lads coming in will do a job.”

“While your captain and the tournament’s joint top scorer sits on the bench with your vice-captain, your best ball winner and your best defender.” He clarifies.

“Did that concierge bring any salt up?”

Bechkoura sighs as he so often does. It’s a sigh that reflects his resignation to the fact that there is no changing my mind on this. It’s music to my ears.

203 1 5 preview.png

Obviously I want the 3 points today. Obviously. Denmark aren’t to be taken lightly though and I honestly think it’ll be a tall order to better England’s result against Georgia, a match that’s kicking off alongside our own at 8PM. Like Bechkoura ham-handedly alluded to, I’m leaving out Laporte, Rabiot, Pogba and Griezmann as they’re in need of a break and I want them fresh for the Second Round. I didn’t want to take too many players out though because there’s still a danger of Denmark beating us, in which case it’d be possible that we wouldn’t be going through at all.

Umtiti, Tolisso and Maupay come in as like for like replacements for Laporte, Rabiot and Griezmann, while Kingsley Coman replaces Pogba and takes one of the interchangeable wide roles, allowing Thomas Lemar to move into the central Pogba role. Kylian Mbappé takes the captain’s armband for the day and I’ll be hoping he shows his leadership credentials by taking us to a comfortable win. I’ve also taken a note out of England’s book from their match against the Danes and we’re going to tweak Renaissance slightly to play slightly more patiently, retaining possession and playing the ball out from the back, before trying to pick Denmark apart in the final third with short, sharp passes.

“Let’s not go behind today”, I grin to the assembled team. “And let’s not just scrape through. Let’s finally show the World who we are and what the French can do.” The squad roar their approval and we make our way out of Stadio San Nicola’s away changing room, studs click-clacking against the floor as we stride out towards the pitch.

203 1 6 formations.png

I’m optimistic and that optimism is quickly vindicated when we get our first chance: Straight from kick off we start zipping the ball across the turf and a 9 pass move ends up with Corentin Tolisso 25 yards from goal. He shoots, but the ball grazes the top of the crossbar as the French fans applaud the effort.

8 minutes in, the Danes go close too when Dolberg plays a nice one-two with his strike partner Cornelius before opening up his body on the edge of the box and trying to curl a shot into the far bottom corner, but Gauthier anticipates it well and makes a comfortable catch. We go up the other end and within a minute, win a corner. Lemar’s delivery is decent, but Lucas Digne’s the nearest man and has no chance against the 12 foot wall that is Vestergaard. Just then though, Thomas Delaney makes a very silly decision: As Vestergaard heads the ball effortlessly away, Delaney throws his arms forward and shoves Digne to the ground. There’s a very short, very silent pause and then the referee blows his whistle and runs over, pointing towards the penalty spot. Mbappé picks the ball up and walks straight over to the spot, almost daring his teammates to ask to take it. None do. Cappé Mbappé places the ball down, counts his steps back, waits for the whistle, runs up – And scores. It’s a close one. He goes almost straight down the middle and Michaelsen doesn’t move, but the keeper can’t get a strong enough hand to the ball to keep it out. I’ll take it though. 1-0 after 10 minutes.

It quickly becomes apparent that Denmark aren’t about to lie down and let us rack up a big scoreline to rival England for the top spot in the group, as they stay very defensively strong over the next 15 or so minutes. And then they go and do something that really annoys me: They equalise. 27 minutes into the match, Pierre-Emile Højbjerg hits a good pass down the right channel and Cornelius has the beating of Umtiti, reaching the ball first close to the right byline. He slides a pass across to the edge of the 6 yard box where Dolberg’s waiting to drill past Gauthier. 1-1. They almost actually take the lead before the break despite our incredible dominance throughout the half, when an Eriksen corner is flicked on by Dolberg at the near post and headed just over the top from 6 yards by that man Vestergaard. The ball lands safely on the roof of the net, but I’m not impressed as we trudge down the tunnel with the scores all square.

I decide to make a change for the second half: Thomas Lemar has had no joy at all filling in for Pogba, which I think is more to do with the fact that the Danes are so compact in the centre of their final third than any real failing of Thomas’. They’re also obviously very physical, so Moussa Dembélé replaces Lemar to inject a bit more physicality of our own and will link up with Maupay in a target man/poacher (Or big man/little man if you prefer) combination at the top of a 4-2-4.

In the 52nd minute, Sidibé plays a one-two with Tolisso from a right sided throw in level with the Danish box and then lobs in a high cross towards the back stick. Tiémoué Bakayoko gets up from midfield to nod the ball back across goal and Kingsley Coman arrives on the 6 yard box, stooping to head it against the post. For fucks sake. The chance doesn’t end there though – Sidibé retrieves the loose ball and we work it around. It finally ends up with Lucas Digne on the edge of the area and the full back has a pop, but Christensen throws his body in the way to deflect the shot wide.

2 minutes later, there’s action down the other end again. Coman gives away a free kick in a dangerous position, out on the left wing and level with our own box. Højbjerg chips it in towards the near post, Kasper Dolberg loses his marker Umtiti and gets his head to the ball, turning towards the top corner of the goal, but a superb flying save by Gauthier denies the Danes their second goal. He catches the resulting corner too as the fans applaud once more, then starts a counter attack. A long ball to Coman, a slid pass onto the right wing for Sidibé, a cross straight down that corridor between goalkeeper and defence. Cappé Mbappé loses Roerslev and gets there – MBAPPÉ – heads against the underside of the bar from 6 yards. Get me Varane’s water bottle.

With just 35 minutes now left to play, I make another change. Bakayoko looks leggy after running himself into the ground for us over the last 2 and a half games, so Sissako comes on to replace him. He looks unphased as he strides onto the pitch, which goes without saying. Good lad, Abi.

Just after the hour mark, the Danes come forward again through Cornelius on the left wing. He turns inside Varane and crosses for Ramkilde, who hits a really sweetly struck volley, but Leo Gauthier dives across again to tip the ball away. This lad’s really earning that number 1 shirt.

20 minutes to go now and we win another corner. In the absence of Lemar, Mbappé goes across and swings the ball into the box. Vestergaard routinely rises above everyone around him to head the ball clear, but it falls to Neal Maupay all alone, 25 yards from goal. He’s got time. He’s got space. Come on Neal. Maupay takes a touch, steadies himself and hammers a looping shot – Against the fucking bar! I start to howl in frustration, but the ball falls straight down into the 6 yard box, where Raphaël bloody Varane tucks it away. 2-1.

My scream turns into a cheer, filled with undertones of panic and relief. Bechkoura’s kept me updated on England’s match and let’s just say that 1st place is well beyond our reach at this point, so I decide to shut up shop. Lamine Fomba replaces Kylian Mbappé, who hands his armband to Tolisso as we debut Project: Barricade, a defensive 4-1-4-1 that I’ve used a hundred times but that now has a more French name. The Auxerre boys will provide the legs in midfield while Maupay acts as a makeshift right midfielder.

203 1 7 barricade

203 1 8 barricade inst

The changes work. Apart from a Coman potshot in the 89th minute that misses the target reasonably comfortably, the action’s over. We’ve taken 41 shots and 2 of them have gone in, we’ve hit the woodwork 8 times in the tournament so far, but we’ve qualified, taking 2nd place in Group E and we’ve done it unbeaten. Surely we can take some comfort in that.

203 1 9 post.png

203 1 10 qualified.png

Euro 24 Part 10 >

Group Stage Roundup 2 (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Euro 24 Part 8)

By Don Collins

Start from the start with episode 1

< Euro 24 Part 7

My Short Stories WordPress

dc6.png

Game week 2 is over. Another 12 matches played, 34 more goals scored and 6 nations have bagged themselves a place in the next round with a game to spare. One team’s even won their group already!

I’m Don Collins. Let’s catch you all up.


Group A

Russia 0 – 1 Romania

Romania kicked off another game week with another win at the Stadio Olympico as they, one of only three nations yet to concede, secured safe passage through to the Second Round against Russia, one of five nations yet to score. The match failed to find any sort of flow as the Russians resorted to constant fouling, but after 35 long minutes a defence splitting pass from Florin Tanase set Florin Andone through on goal. The Juve man made no mistake, slipping in what proved to be the only goal of the game.

As I alluded to before, the win sees Romania through comfortably and their final Group match against the Netherlands will be something of a damp squib, while Russia need to hammer Northern Ireland in their next match and pray that they can scrape through as one of the 4 best 3rd placed teams.

Russia: 4th -> 3rd

Romania: – 2nd (Qualified for Second Round)

Screenshot 2018-10-24 at 19.42.49


Northern Ireland 0 – 4 Netherlands

It’s not looking good, Northern Ireland fans. In another meeting between a nation yet to concede and one yet to score, The Netherlands tore the Northern Irish asunder at the Stadio San Paolo. The silky Dutch side ran rampant as their opponents failed even to register a shot on target and they were ahead within 8 minutes when Anwar El Ghazi curled in a 20 yard free kick to begin the match in style. The Northern Irish held firm and denied a second goal for a good long while, but after Rodney Brown’s 2nd yellow card for stupidly dragging back Marco Van Ginkel, they capitulated. Van Ginkel himself doubled his side’s advantage with a powerful shot from the edge of the box, then substitute Dutch captain Davy Klaassen bagged a 3rd with a superb clipped shot into the top corner. The cherry on top came in the final knockings when Martin Winchester stomped on Thomas Buitink’s leg, giving away a penalty that another sub Vincent Janssen converted down the middle.

In a way, these two sides are the extremes of their Group mates Romania and Russia. While Romania are comfortably through to the Second Round, the Netherlands are very comfortably through and while Russia will find it very difficult to scrape through, Northern Ireland are absolutely fu… Er… Full of pessimism about their chances.

Netherlands: – 1st (Qualified for Second Round)

Northern Ireland: 3rd -> 4th

Screenshot 2018-10-24 at 19.43.31


Group B

Czech Republic 2 – 0 FYR Macedonia

Two sides that lost their opening games of the tournament met at the Stadio San Nicola in the hopes of kick starting their tournaments. It was Czechia who bagged their first points and indeed goals of Euro 24 against a Macedonian side who put up a good fight but were ultimately well beaten. Macedonian centre back Aleksandar Damcevski turned Vaclav Dudl’s cross into his own net just 5 minutes in and although his side came close a few times to equalising, Vladimir Bilek’s looped cross was volleyed in by Vaclav Cerny to put the Czechs’ win beyond doubt, most likely along with Macedonia’s exit from the tournament.

Both sides will end their Group Stages with unenviable ties, with Czechia facing up against Portugal while Macedonia, another side yet to register a goal so far, take on Ukraine.

Czech Republic: 3rd -> 2nd

FYR Macedonia: – 4th

Screenshot 2018-10-24 at 19.51.40


Portugal 0 – 1 Ukraine

You’ve got to hand it to Ukraine. There’s no messing about in that camp: 2 matches, 2 goals, 2 wins. A packed crowd turned out at the Stadio Marc’Antonio Bentegodi to see the top 2 nations in Group B go head to head and were treated to something of a giant killing, as despite Portugal’s undeniable dominance the Ukrainians came out the victors. An hour into the match, Portugal’s half time substitute centre back Rúben Semedo had a brain fart almost on par with Raphaël Varane’s last week and gifted the ball to Alexey Sukhov on the edge of his box. Sukhov didn’t hesitate, taking the ball and placing it firmly beyond Diogo Costa. The goal proved to be Ukraine’s only shot on target, but it was all they needed.

Ukraine are fairly likely to make a clean sweep of the Group Stage as they meet pointless, goalless Macedonia next. Ukraine are yet to concede, so it’d be quite a shock for them to start in that match. Portugal meanwhile will go head to head with the Czech Republic, with the sides now on 3 points each. As the sides have had the exact same results against the other 2 nations, which places Czechia 2nd on alphabetic order, a draw will not be enough to see Portugal into the automatic qualification places. The pressure is suddenly on for José Barros’ men.

Portugal: 1st -> 3rd

Ukraine: 2nd -> 1st (Qualified for Second Round)

Screenshot 2018-10-24 at 19.55.16


Group C

Turkey 2 – 1 Norway

The two supposed underdogs of Group C upended the tables last week against Croatia and Germany, turning the spotlight upon themselves in what turned out to be a real battle at Stadio San Paolo. Both sides showed themselves as willing to play dirty to take the top spot in the group and there were fouls aplenty throughout the match, but 2 goals inside more or less the first 10 minutes of the second half gave Turkey the lead and eventually the win. The first came courtesy of Enes Ünal after a whipped cross from Emre Günal and the second was scored by substitute Kerem Demirbay, who received the ball from Hayri Yilmaz on the right hand side of the box and shot straight towards Norwegian goalkeeper Ørjan Nyland, but the stopper’s view was obscured by centre back Markus Hagen and by time he saw the ball, he could only watch as it flew past him into the net. Norway did threaten a comeback just 5 minutes later when 2 of their substitutes combined, with Ronny Rossbach releasing Rafik Zekhnini behind the Turkish defence and the latter sliding the ball under Volkan Babacan, but they couldn’t muster a second goal against what was in fairness a dominant Turkey team.

The win takes Turkey up to the top of Group C on 6 points, which qualifies them for the Second Round but oddly, doesn’t necessarily secure them a place in the top 2. The Turkish take on Germany in their final group game while Norway face Croatia, which means that it’s entirely possible for Turkey, Germany and Norway to finish on 6 points apiece. In this eventuality though, all 3 teams would qualify for the Second Round as whoever occupied the 3rd placed spot would go through as one of the 4 best. Norway and Germany will certainly want to win those matches as anything less could possibly spell the end of their tournament.

Turkey: 2nd -> 1st (Qualified for Second Round)

Norway: 1st -> 2nd

Screenshot 2018-10-24 at 19.59.20


Germany 4 – 2 Croatia

After a disappointing first match against Norway, Joachim Löwe’s Germany have arrived. In front of an 80,000 strong crowd at the San Siro they and Croatia started at breakneck pace, both sides trying to jumpstart their faltering Group Stage campaigns. Josip Brekalo opened the scoring inside 3 minutes with a shimmy and a shot that deflected in off Maurício Badzinski’s outstretched leg, but within a minute of the restart Bayern Munich star Christopher Dieckmann strolled infield from the left wing and drilled low past Lovre Kalinic. Dieckmann then set up the next goal over half an hour later, poking the ball through for Richard Farnbacher to blast into the net and before half time Dieckmann was set up by Wilske Dillman inside the box. He lashed the ball on the turn with his left foot, giving the keeper no chance and compounding Croatian misery after such a promising start. The starlet wasn’t finished there though: On the hour, Stefan Andrich brought Silvio Cvitanovic’s lobbed pass out of the air beautifully, pulled the ball back from the left byline and Dieckmann arrived to slot it home, completing a well deserved hat trick. Marko Pjaca, one of few Croatians to come out of the Group Stage with any credit so far, registered his second assist of the day 10 minutes from the end, finishing off a Croatian counter attack with a drilled cross, which substitute Bruno Petkovic turned into the net.

Germany will feel like they need to turn this result into form now and face a vital game against surprise package Turkey next, while Croatia go up against Norway. It’s entirely possible by the way for Croatia to sneak into the next round, despite not picking up a point so far. If Turkey complete a clean sweep (And bagging a fair few goals wouldn’t hurt) against Germany, while Croatia obliterate Norway, they could swing the goal difference their way and finish 2nd, or at least 3rd, which might be enough. It’s a big ask though from a side that’s so far disappointed.

Germany: 4th -> 3rd

Croatia: 3rd -> 4th

Screenshot 2018-10-24 at 20.34.25


Group D

Belgium 3 – 1 Italy

What started as a jubilant crowd at the Juventus Stadium became silenced incredibly quickly as the host nation fell to their first defeat of the tournament. Hopes were high in Italy after comfortably seeing off Poland in their first match, but it took Belgium’s Mohamed Hamoudan just 20 seconds to nod his team into the lead after Divock Origi’s fantastic dribble and floated cross handed him the chance on a plate. Hamoudan then set up Andreas Pereira in the 34th minute, laying the ball off so that his team mate could wallop a phenomenal postage stamp shot beyond Gianluigi Donnarumma from 30 yards. The Italians went into half time with some hope when a 41st minute cross from Federico Chiesa bounced off Wout Faes’ foot, rebounded off the post, off Thibaut Courtois and then wriggled into the net, but the match was beyond them almost immediately after coming out for the second half when Luca Cesena sent Leander Dendocker tumbling in the box and Youri Tielemans drove the Belgians’ third goal straight down the centre from the penalty spot.

Belgium will join Romania, the Netherlands, Ukraine and Turkey in the Second Round with what seems will be their easiest match against struggling Poland still to play, so a clean sweep could be on the cards. Italy meanwhile now have to endure an absolutely crucial match against Sweden, who like them sit on 3 points but have superior goal difference, in a battle for 2nd place. Going out in the Group Stages of their own tournament would be seen as unacceptable, so the Italians had better up their game for that one.

Belgium: – 1st (Qualified for Second Round)

Italy: 2nd -> 3rd

Screenshot 2018-10-24 at 20.35.53


Poland 0 – 3 Sweden

Both Poland and Sweden were disappointing in their first matches but at least had the excuse of playing superior teams. Losing this match however would prove to be catastrophic for either side’s hopes of progression. The match, held at Stadio Luigi Ferraris, started slowly and seemed to be heading for half time goalless until the pressure upon the Polish box began to build. After a period of immense defensive resilience where Poland’s defence were forced to clear cross after cross after cross, they were eventually broken when Alexander Isak received the ball from wide and squared for Robin Holmgren, who slotted in the game’s opening goal. Poland certainly came out for the second half with a renewed sense of fight about them, but it manifested itself in an unhelpful manner when Karol Linetty shoved Mattias Svanberg to the ground following a Swedish corner. The referee pointed to the spot and Sead Haksabanovic stepped up to take the kick. Bartlomiej Dragowski dived the right way but the City man’s effort was too powerful and the Swedes doubled their lead. Polish heads dropped from that point and just 7 minutes later, Holmgren teed up Simon Tibbling, who toe poked the ball powerfully into the top corner from 20 yards, securing a glossy win.

Sweden will go into their next match hoping for similar joy against the Italians, but they’ll know the scorned hosts will put up more of a fight. Poland meanwhile are all but mathematically eliminated. To survive they’d need to beat tournament dark horses Belgium pretty handily and they’d also need the Sweden v Italy match not to end in a draw. In that scenario they could in theory sneak through as the 3rd place team, rising above the loser of that match on goal difference. It’s too tall an order though, surely.

Poland: 3rd -> 4th

Sweden: 4th -> 2nd

Screenshot 2018-10-24 at 20.42.01


Group E

England 3 – 0 Denmark

Denmark will have been over the moon to have held first place in Group E above England and France, but they were brought back down to Earth and then some by a superb England performance. The Danes dominated parts of the meeting at the Stadio San Filippo and set up in what looked like an extremely defensively solid 4-4-2, but Eddie Howe’s men took them apart with their methodical possession football, a far cry from the quick counter attacking style they employed against France. Dele Alli opened the scoring in a not so methodical fashion though, driving forwards into a congested Denmark half and letting fly from 25 yards 9 minutes in to give the English the lead. Any Danish hopes of regrouping at half time were ended in the 42nd minute too when a lovely short passing move ended with Ross Barkley tapping the ball through for Harry Kane, who drilled a second past Frederik Rønnow. The game was put to bed 15 minutes from time when Oliver Webb, who was employed as a right winger and impressed throughout, sent a cross into the box and Southampton’s Ed Lynes popped up at the far side to head in his country’s third.

England move up to take Denmark’s throne at the top of Group E, with the Danes plummeting to 3rd below France. England are now very much in the driving seat with a game against the pointless but fairly resilient Georgia in the offing, while Denmark can look forward to a match against WT Franjo’s unconvincing France side. They’ll need a win to climb above the French but a draw could well see them through as one of the qualifying third placed sides.

England: 2nd -> 1st

Denmark: 1st -> 3rd

Screenshot 2018-10-24 at 20.50.39


Georgia 1 – 3 France

In what for a while looked set to be one of the round’s shock results, a spirited Georgia side nearly managed to nick a result at the Stadio Artemio Franchi against France, a side that had thumped them twice in qualification. Things looked bleak for the Georgians when star man Giorgi Arabidze was taken off with an injury in the 12th minute, but only a few minutes later Giorgi Kvilitaia sent a shot soaring over Lionel Gauthier to open the scoring. As much as the French then huffed and puffed, they couldn’t manage to blow Georgia’s house down and went into half time trailing for the second match in a row. After what I’m sure were a few choice words from their manager, France responded almost immediately after the restart through Paul Pogba’s questionably onside placed shot and from then on things got a little more comfortable for the World Champions. Kylian Mbappé tapped in a cross from Lucas Digne 10 minutes later and Paul Pogba again had the last word with a powerful close range shot to the roof of the net.

Georgia, like a few other sides in this tournament, need a miracle to stay in with a chance of progression. They need to beat England in their final match and to hope that France beat Denmark by enough goals that they can slide into 3rd place, after which they’d have to hope that there are 2 worse 3rd placed teams in the tournament. France on the other hand are playing mainly for pride at this point. They’ve not lived up to their billing so far and rumours are circulating that Franjo may well pay with his job if his side don’t up their game. Although a point will see them through to the Second Round, their match against Denmark is must win as far as the fans are concerned. France also trail 1st placed England by a single goal’s difference, so the more comfortably they beat the Danes, the better.

Georgia: – 4th

France: 3rd -> 2nd

Screenshot 2018-10-24 at 20.51.13


Group F

Switzerland 1 – 1 Serbia

“Ill tempered” doesn’t quite do this one justice. Switzerland’s meeting with Serbia was halted by the referee so often that it quite resembled the more rugby-inspired brand of football they play across the pond. Inevitably the match’s first big moment resulted from Denis Zakaria wrestling Marko Grujic to the ground inside the Swiss penalty box on the stroke of half time, resulting in a spot kick that Jovan Nisic converted confidently, sending Roman Bürki the wrong way to give the Serbians the lead. A late equaliser was found by Real Madrid’s Noah Okafor, who blasted the ball in from 8 yards after Arnel Kalac’s low pass somehow found it’s way through a packed Serbian penalty area. Less than a minute after the game was restarted though, half time Swiss substitute hacked Nemanja Maksimovic down with two feet and received his marching orders. It just felt right that this one finished with a red card, to be honest.

Serbia are probably the worst placed of all the 2nd placed sides at the tournament, currently sitting on 2 points with a difficult match against Spain still to come. Switzerland on the other hand are probably the best placed of all the 4th placed sides and with my neutral hat on, still have every chance of qualifying for the Second Round. They’re equal on points with the michty Scottish, but aye, we’ll no mak it easy fae them.

Switzerland: – 4th

Serbia: 3rd -> 2nd

Screenshot 2018-10-24 at 20.52.40


Scotland 0 – 1 Spain

As fair art thou, my bonnie lass, so deep in luve am I,
And I will luve thee still, my dear, till a’ the seas gang dry.

Aye right, thae Spaniards can get tae fuck. Aye they scored but if thon galoot Alcácer’d keeked up and saw the steel in Gunn’s een, he widae shat whaur he stauned, man. Strachan’s michty tartan army cudae scored but the haill game we cudnae hit the goal even though De Gea’s a wee fanny wha disnae hae the same steel. Aye right, Angus Gunn cud batter the manky ersehole wi wan haun, square go.

Thae Spanish wan the Group, but thon baw wull drap.

Scotland: 2nd -> 3rd

Spain: – 1st (Group F Winners)

Screenshot 2018-10-24 at 20.59.07

I’ll be back at the end of the Group Stage as we find out who joins Romania, the Netherlands, Ukraine, Turkey, Belgium and Spain in the Second Round, as well as which 8 nations will be leaving after the groups. I’ll see you then.

Euro 24 Part 9 >

Georgia v France (GS2)(Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Euro 24 Part 7)

“Let them have it!”

Start from the start with episode 1

< Euro 24 Part 6

My Short Stories WordPress

202 1 difficult challenge.png

“These lads will be crying into their matsoni this morning, having to face us again.” Some of the faces staring at me from the changing room benches wear looks of confusion.

202 2 focus.png

“Matsoni, boss?” Asks Bechkoura.

“It’s Georgian yoghurt Bechkoura.” I snap. “Read a fucking book.” I turn back to the squad. “4-0 at home, 6-2 away. Those are our last 2 results against the Georgians. The 3 points in this match are non-negotiable, but I want you to aim higher than that. I want us to put down a proper marker here and show the rest of Europe that we are a team to be feared.” The lads’ looks of confusion turn to excitement, a true eagerness for the match ahead. “Kylian,” I turn to our star man. “Hat tricks in those last 2 games, let’s have another today shall we?”

“Yes boss”, he grins.

202 3 coman confident.png

“Denmark beat these 2-0,” I shout, “Can we do better than that?” A cheer of approval fills the changing room. “Let them have it!”

202 5 preview.png

We go against Georgia’s 4-4-2 unchanged after our dramatic draw against England. On reflection, I reckon we did enough to win that match and were unlucky to come away with just a point. We hit the woodwork three times and conceded from an uncharacteristic howler from Varane after all. Although Sidibé and Digne underperformed at full back as England attacked down the flanks and Lemar and Griezmann both had fairly poor games, this is still my full strength team and I’m hoping they’ll all kick start their tournaments with a big win and good performances to boot.

202 6 formations.png

We go agonisingly close early on. Within 40 seconds, Kylian Mbappé has a ridiculous amount of space as he saunters into the Georgian half and uses it to full effect, powering towards the penalty area with the ball. He reaches the edge of the box virtually unchallenged and unleashes a shot towards the top right corner, but Levan Sopromadze dives excellently to tip the ball against the post.

Both sides go close shortly afterwards. First Lemar sends Sidibé running down the right wing with a searching ball, which the full back then drills towards Griezmann at the near post. Griezmann shoots first time, but it’s a disappointing effort and straight into Sopromadze’s grateful gloves. Down the other end, Arabidze turns Raphaël Varane inside out with some fancy footwork before having a pop at our goal, but again it’s straight at the keeper and Gauthier catches comfortably.  In the 12th minute, Georgia receive an absolute hammer blow: Their main man Giorgi Arabidze, the only player to show any sort of promise so far, is stretchered off with a suspected foot injury. The defiantly positive Georgian crowd give their talisman a raucous round of applause as he’s replaced by Valeri Qazaishvili. If Georgia posed any threat up to this point, if they had any hope of snatching a result, it surely leaves the pitch with Arabidze.

And then it happens. Just 3 minutes after the substitution, Qazaishvili lays the ball off for Giorgi Kvilitaia, who uses his left foot to guide the ball onto his right, before unleashing a tremendous lob from 20 yards. As I watch with mouth agape, the ball floats through the air, beyond the helpless Leo Gauthier and flies perfectly into the top left corner of the France net. For the second time this week, numbness and an acute sense of dread course through my veins as I watch the team in white flock to the edge of the pitch, celebrating taking the lead against France. Against us. Against me. 0-1. I suppose we’re going to do this whole fucking tournament the hard way.

France lay siege to the Georgian goal for the next half hour, but do not manage to find an equaliser before the ref blows for half time. The closest we come is just before the half hour mark when Sidibé stabs a cross in to the back post, Griezmann rises well to nod the ball down and Bakayoko tries a volley from 8 yards, but Gogia throws himself in the way to deflect the effort just wide.

“Again!” I groan, pacing in front of the benches. “Again we’re behind at the fucking break! And to Georgia!” As I move my hands up towards my head to run them through my hair, Raphaël Varane reflexively jerks the hand holding his battered water bottle away from me. “Look, I do not want to scrape through this group. I do not want us having to come from behind every single match to grab a draw. Do any of you?” My question’s greeted by silence. “Sort it out.” I sigh wearily.

Like England, Georgia make the decision to change to a 4-1-4-1 at the break, with Levan Samkharadze replacing stalwart of the national side Jano as a defensive midfielder. The first chance of the half goes to us though when Mbappé passes the ball inside from the left for Antoine Griezmann, who takes a touch and slides a nice pass through for Captain Pogba. Pogba strides into the Georgia box and places the ball firmly into the bottom corner to put us level. I don’t even feel relief as the ball nestles in the back of the net because my first impression is that our skipper was offside, but the goal stands and we’re back in the game.

The one way traffic from the end of the first half continues throughout much of the second and by the 65th minute we’re finally ahead. As our opponents pack their own penalty box we’re forced down the wings and when Digne gets the ball during one such attack, he fizzes it across the face of goal from the left byline. Kylian Mbappé arrives and taps it in at the far post to give us the lead for the first time in the tournament.

A few minutes later Thomas Lemar and Adrien Rabiot are both brought off as I look to introduce some fresh legs into the team. They’ve both been solid if a little bit underwhelming today and I’m hoping that Coman and Sissako will take us up a level and allow us to add some gloss to a generally disappointing afternoon of football. It’s Georgia that threaten with about 10 minutes to go though and it’s Qazaishvili, the man who’s yet to start a game for our opponents but already has 2 assists to his name, that creates the chance with a superb ball over the top. Aymeric Laporte falls asleep and allows Kvilitaia to bare down on goal and shoot, but Gauthier raises a strong hand to bat the ball away.

In the 81st minute, Mbappé switches the ball to Sidibé, who in contrast to the last match has been one of our better performers today and a good outlet down the right. Sidibé rolls it down the line for Kingsley Coman, who squares it into the 6 yard box for Pogba. Our captain draws his right boot back and slams the ball into the roof of the net from close range. 3-1. After having to fight back again, we at last look like we’re going to take 3 points from this match. Georgia, despite 2 surprisingly resilient performances, look like they’re going home after all.

Mendy gets a run out for the last 10 minutes as Georgia roll the dice and try to find a way to save themselves from elimination. They put together a couple of good moves in the dying minutes, with Gauthier forced into flying saves to deny Qazaishvili after good passes from Samkharadze and Gogia, but we hold on. 3-1.

202 7 post

I won’t lie, I’m still pretty fucking gutted. Again, I have nothing against Georgia. The thrashings we handed them during qualification for this tournament were very therapeutic and helped me to get past that time they beat me as Liechtenstein boss. But “We hold on” shouldn’t be a phrase I have to use today. We’ve underperformed.

202 9 pogba impresses

And I know, I know. At the end of the day, we’ve picked up the 3 points I wanted and with England beating Denmark, we’re 2nd on goal difference and will qualify from the Group Stage with a point from our last match. That’s good and it could be much worse. I get that. But still… It feels like we’re wasting our potential as a top team. I want to see free-scoring beautiful football. That’s what I’ve always wanted from this France team and at the minute it’s all very… I don’t know… Precarious.

202 10 areola pleased

It’s like I’ve trained a dog to talk and invited everyone in the neighbourhood round to see my amazing talking dog, but when the moment’s finally come and I’ve told him to talk, as the crowd of onlookers watch and murmur excitedly, the amazing talking dog’s taken a massive shit right in the middle of the kitchen floor. It’s still impressive afterwards when he says “I’m sorry I took a shit in the middle of the kitchen floor”, but nobody’s really paying attention anymore because all anyone can smell is amazing talking dogshit.

202 11 on course

Euro 24 Part 8 >

Group Stage Roundup 1 (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Euro 24 Part 6)

By Don Collins

Start from the start with episode 1

< Euro 24 Part 5

My Short Stories WordPress

dc5

Welcome, welcome ladies, gentlemen and bairns to the first of my Euro 24 roundups. 12 matches have been played with 29 goals scored and I’m here to bring you up to speed on anything you may have missed. Let’s get stuck in.


Group A

Romania 2 – 0 Northern Ireland

You’d be forgiven for thinking that Romania v Northern Ireland at the San Siro isn’t the kind of mouth watering show stopper worthy of kicking off a prestigious tournament like Euro 24, but on this occasion… Yeah, you’re probably right. It wasn’t a great match. I feel a bit for Northern Ireland as on the face of it, this seems like a routine win for the Romanians, but the Northern Irish actually defended resolutely and admirably, undone only by a heavily deflected Andrei Ivan free kick and then an even more heavily deflected Gabriel Stavarache shot from 20 yards that went down as a Brian Caldwell own goal. Jared Thompson had absolutely no chance with either. All that being said though, there’s no doubt the better team won.

Romania: 2nd

Northern Ireland: 3rd

Screen Shot 2018-10-19 at 10.28.37


The Netherlands 3 – 0 Russia

Bayer striker Thomas Buitink got the Dutch off to a flyer in the Della Vittoria with a brace inside the first 21 minutes of their Euro 24 campaign: First blasting past the underwhelming Yury Lodygin after a classy assist from Tom Watson, then heading home a James Fofana cross from close range. As Russia pushed for a way back in the second half, that man Buitink drove forward on the counter and then selflessly teed up Memphis Depay, who found the bottom corner to give his country a comfortable win. One of four players to bag 2 goals in the opening round of games, it seems Buitink is one to watch.

Netherlands: 1st

Russia: 4th

Screen Shot 2018-10-19 at 10.30.50


Group B

Ukraine 1 – 0 Czech Republic

My thoughts are with you if you sat through this one. Hull full back and Czech captain Ales Mateju became a hero to neutrals everywhere when he broke up the mind numbing monotony that was the first 50 minutes by tripping Andriy Yarmolenko on the edge of his own box and conceded a penalty. Yarmolenko blasted beyond the fingertips of a full stretch Tomas Koubek to give a poor quality game at Florence’s Stadio Artemio Franchi it’s only goal. My “Mateju 15” shirt is in the post as we speak, although I doubt Czech manager Karel Jarolim or Mateju’s club manager Peter Crouch were as impressed.

Ukraine: 2nd

Czech Republic: 3rd

Screen Shot 2018-10-19 at 10.40.31


FYR Macedonia 0 – 2 Portugal

It may be a shade too soon to describe the Portuguese as a force to be reckoned with, but they certainly showed their dominance over a thoroughly outclassed Macedonia side that failed to even register a shot on target at Rome’s Stadio Olympico. Portugal went ahead after 17 minutes when João Mario was able to drive a shot home from 20 yards thanks to a fine assist from Renato Sanches, but despite their dominance they were unable to build on their lead for some time. They did hit the woodwork twice in the first half, but only a full hour of football later did they double their tally when Bernardo Silva swung a delicious 30 yard free kick into the top corner.

FYR Macedonia: 4th

Portugal: 1st

Screen Shot 2018-10-19 at 10.50.41.png


Group C

Norway 2 – 0 Germany

One of the shocks of the round came at Genoa’s Stadio Luigi Ferraris, where an extremely dominant Germany side were undone by the plucky but well drilled Norwegians. Just minutes before half time, a German attack was halted and Norway charged down the other end on the counter attack, ending when Tobias Svendsen cut the ball back from the left byline and Iver Fossum thumped in the opening goal. The second half started more evenly, with the two sides going hammer and tongs to claim the second goal. With 25 minutes to play, one of the passes of the tournament so far was curled perfectly behind the defence by Martin Ødegaard and young striker Vidar Holm was waiting on the shoulder of his marker to lash in his first international goal. He’ll be telling his Grandkids about that one, that’s for sure.

Norway: 1st

Germany: 4th

Screen Shot 2018-10-19 at 10.56.16.png


Croatia 0 – 2 Turkey

Written off by some less “ITK” pundits as the weakest team in Group C, Turkey laid down a marker in the Stadio San Nicola against a Croatia side lacking discipline, both defensively and just generally. It took almost an hour for the ill tempered affair to see it’s first goal, when Emre Mor launched a free kick box-wards from near the half way line and centre back Mehmet Niyaz, just seconds after coming on as a substitute, rose above Emanuel Glavica to head in his first goal for his country. Another substitute, Oguzhan Özyakup, set up the second goal with 20 minutes to go, ensuring plaudits aplenty for his twice vindicated manager Ersun Yanal. Özyakup chipped a pass into the left channel for Emre Günal, who clipped his shot in off the inside of the near post to give Turkey a well deserved cushion. Croatia need to have a good long look back at their performance, because they should not be proud of how they approached this match.

Croatia: 3rd

Turkey: 2nd

Screen Shot 2018-10-19 at 11.11.17.png


Group D

Sweden 0 – 2 Belgium

In a match that seemed too close to call beforehand, one side excelled at the Stadio Della Vittoria, while the other disappointed. Sceptics had pointed out in the build up that not only had this Belgium side been beaten to qualification from the group stages in Canada 22 by Paraguay and Iran, but that they were also now without Eden Hazard and Romelu Lukaku, two stalwarts of the national side. However Filip Daems seems to have breathed new life into Belgium and they dominated a meek Swedish team, albeit without the match becoming completely one sided. A goal either side of half time was enough to clinch it, with the first coming from the spot after an admittedly weak penalty decision. The referee judged that Daniel Hansson had jumped unfairly with Corentin Fiore, but replays have since shown otherwise. Nevertheless, Youri Tielemans converted from 12 yards and then within a minute of the second half, a fine Kevin De Bruyne pass released the explosive Divock Origi, who raced clear of poor Hansson and poked his side’s second goal past Jim Lindau.

Sweden: 4th

Belgium: 1st

Screen Shot 2018-10-19 at 11.29.15.png


Italy 2 – 0 Poland

There were shades of Macedonia v Portugal as Italiano’s intoxicating Italy crushed Banasik’s poor Poland at the Stadio San Filippo. Barcelona’s Yuri Brugger lived up to his billing as potential best player at the tournament with a complete performance, pulling the strings for his side from the number 10 position before bagging a brace of goals either side of the break. The first he curled past Dragowski from the edge of the area after receiving the ball from Cesana and the second he volleyed home after an Italian corner was unconvincingly cleared, with Brugger left completely and criminally unmarked on the edge of the box. Like Buitink of the Netherlands, keep an eye on young Brugger.

Italy: 2nd

Poland: 3rd

Screen Shot 2018-10-19 at 11.42.07.png

Group E

France 2 – 2 England

One of only two draws in the first round of games played out at a packed San Siro, where Franjo’s experienced and classy France side met with Howe’s dynamic young England. Although France hit the woodwork early on through Thomas Lemar, it was England who raced into the lead with two quickfire goals around the half hour mark. First Oliver Webb capitalised on Raphaël Varane’s laughable attempts to control the ball by stealing it and slotting in the rebound after Gauthier saved his initial strike. Griezmann struck the post as France continued to go close, but when Webb raced past the lead-footed Varane once more and laid off for Harry Kane to double England’s tally with a well struck effort, the game seemed as good as over. Howe will probably rue his decision to replace eventual Player of the Match Webb at half time as he looked to consolidate his side’s position, as in the second half and especially after the introduction of target man Moussa Dembélé, France dragged themselves back into the game. Kylian Mbappé will take the headlines for a couple of excellent pieces of build up play in which he first set up a tap in for Dembélé, who opened his account for the French and then what should have been the equaliser for Rabiot, but his shot cracked off the foot of the post as France hit the woodwork for the third time in the match. Luckily captain Paul Pogba was on hand to tap in the rebound, leaving both sides with a well earned point.

France: 3rd

England: 2nd

201 6 post

Denmark 3 – 1 Georgia

In an exciting, end to end match at the Stadio San Paolo, Denmark’s extra touch of class (And a dodgy decision or two) helped them to overcome an impressive Georgia side. The first incident occurred after a quarter of an hour, when 6’6″ powerhouse Jannik Vestergaard was forced to the floor by the slight 5’10” frame of Mate Tsintsadze inside the box following a Danish corner. Make of that what you will. The referee pointed to the spot and Christian Eriksen converted to open the scoring. To their credit though, the Danes continued to press and harry their opponents, thoroughly earning the second goal 5 minutes later, when Jacob Bruun Larsen’s strike deflected in off Malkhaz Nemsadze. The Georgians kept on going and gave a good account of themselves but the game was finally put to bed in the 73rd minute, when René Hechmann’s low cross was turned in by substitute Wessam Abou Ali from close range. Georgia did eventually get something to cheer when a good cross by Qazaishvili came into the corridor between defence and goalkeeper and was tucked away by Jano, but the Danish came away with a deserved win.

Denmark: 1st

Georgia: 4th

Screen Shot 2018-10-19 at 12.03.51.png

Group F

Spain 4 – 1 Switzerland

One of the games of the round played out at the Stadio Artemio Franchi with a scoreline that contains a perhaps deceiving amount of gloss for the Spanish. Switzerland struggled to cope with the pace and movement of Spain in the opening minutes and the Spanish took full advantage when Héctor Bellerín got to the right byline unmarked and pulled the ball across goal for Paco Alcácer, who poked it home from point blank range. It could’ve been 2-0 just moments later when a similarly slick move left more holes in the Swiss defence than their cheese and Morata headed inches over the bar. The Swiss soon found their feet and were back on level terms in the 13th minute when a corner resulting in a quick game of pinball inside the Spanish box before Xherdan Shaqiri clipped in the equaliser. Both sides came close to finding that all important 3rd goal in the first half, with Saúl and Kamber forcing good saves from Burki and De Gea, but it wasn’t until 5 minutes after the break that Spain eventually found it, when Morata sent a good cross the way of Alcácer, who headed home his second of the day. From then on it was one way traffic as Switzerland’s collective head went down. 5 minutes after Spain’s 2nd, Morata rose magnificently to reach Grimaldo’s cross and sent a looping header into the far top corner and then 10 minutes later met another cross from Bellerín with a scorching scissor-kick volley that nearly tore a hole straight through the net, which would’ve left it with more holes than Swiss… I’ve already made that joke, haven’t I. I feel conflicted by the final scoreline: Spain have obvious quality but on another day Switzerland could have nicked some kind of result and 4-1 seems a harsh scoreline. That being said, there’s no excuse for capitulating like they did.

Spain: 1st

Switzerland: 4th

Screen Shot 2018-10-19 at 12.27.56.png

Serbia 0 – 0 Scotland

O my luve’s like a red, red rose that’s newly sprung in June,

O my luve’s like the melodie that’s sweetly play’d in tune.

Aye right, thae Serbians can get tae fuck. Strachan’s michty tartan army towered like a colossus oot there in the Juventus Stadium. Kieran Tierney wis the Tyne and Callum Paterson wis the Solway Firth and the guid laddies in between stood firm as Hadrian’s wall. Aw the Serbs cud muster wis a wee effort from Lukic, but the jessie saw the steel in Gunn’s een and wis up tae high doh, man. Aff is heid. Wisnae even close. But whit’s fur ye’ll no go by ye. The baw’s on the slates fae noo, but thon baw wull drap.

Serbia: 3rd

Scotland: 2nd

Screen Shot 2018-10-19 at 12.44.36.png

Thanks for reading the first of my Euro 24 roundups. I’ll be back after the next round of games. Stay up to date by following me on twitter @doncollins42069

I actually did set Don up a twitter account after writing this (Not yet with that tag) and was planning to do some fun stuff with that, but it was banned within minutes, presumably because I set his banner to a Scottish flag? I didn’t really have time to do anything else. I can’t see why that’d go against twitter rules, but… Anyway I’m giving up on it as a bad job for now, so let’s just pretend. Get yersels tae fuck, twitter.

Euro 24 Part 7 >

France v England (GS1)(Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Euro 24 Part 5)

Let’s get started.

Start from the start with episode 1

< Euro 24 Part 4

My Short Stories WordPress

It’s time. It’s been almost 2 years since the 2022 World Cup Final in Ottawa, when the 3 dejected lions of England were slammed down to Earth by France’s mighty coq. I step onto the San Siro pitch to see a fluid battle all around the terraces; the crosses of St George jostling with the Tricolores for dominance. Aside from the local Italians, who stay true to form by remaining largely neutral, half of this stadium wants revenge, while the other half wants to show that the result of our last meeting was no fluke. I feel like a fresh faced private, stepping into the front lines of a war that predates me.

201 1 passion

I’m not ashamed to say that I’ve given serious thought in the build up to this match to the idea of dropping Project: Renaissance. England are quick, aggressive and exactly the kind of team built to hit an expansive, attacking team like us on the counter attack to devastating effect. The thing that’s stopped me from doing so is the principle: I can’t just drop the system I’ve been stubbornly sticking to for the last 2 years the first time I come against an actual threat. One of the first France matches I’ve overseen that really, truly means something is not an occasion where I consider abandoning my principles an option. Nous sommes la France, the World Champions and we will attack these tea sipping Anglaises with everything we have. If they hit us on the break and score, we’ll go up the other end and bag 2. We will not abandon Renaissance today.

201 4 preview.png

Against Howe’s Bassett-esque 4-4-2, I name an entirely predictable XI: Gauthier in net, Sidibé, Varane, Laporte and Digne across the back, Rabiot and Bakayoko in midfield, Lemar, Pogba and Mbappé ahead of them and Griezmann up front. We’ll go in hard on England’s brilliant but volatile central midfield partnership of Alli and Cook in the hopes of provoking a reaction. The sides line up and the National Anthems are belted out passionately to a man. Let’s get started.

201 5 formations.png

The referee’s whistle blows and France are immediately on the front foot, asserting ourselves on our opponents with fluid possession football and laying siege to their half. Quarter of an hour in Rabiot creates our first chance when he lays the ball off for Lemar and then darts towards the right wing, drawing Cook out of position to give the City winger a clear sight of goal. Lemar takes a step and smashes a shot towards the far top corner – But it smacks back off the angle between post and bar and is headed clear by Juddy Lokando. England try to hit us on the counter but the momentary threat is ended by a superb sliding tackle by Varane on Kane in our third.

10 minutes later we’re being funnelled down the wings and forced to cross the ball in, but Jack Butland’s proving equal to every delivery into the box. The Arsenal man catches 2 in quick succession and then launches another counter attack. This time the ball’s played to young Lynes on the left wing, who hits a hopeful looking ball down the left channel. Luckily Varane has a good 20 yard head start on Webb and gets there first. But then… The next few seconds play out in torturous slow motion: Varane miscontrols the ball as Webb continues to fly towards him. Our defender’s feet seem to turn to stone. He makes 3 attempts to control it but he just can’t. It’s the mother of all howlers. Eventually the loose ball rolls away from him just as Webb arrives to collect it, before baring down on goal, clear of our shellshocked defence. The Chelsea striker gets to the edge of the box and shoots – Straight at Gauthier, who parries it straight back to him. Webb takes a touch, opens his body and places the rebound into the bottom right corner of the goal.

Numbness floods my body as I watch the 11 white shirts sprint away to the corner of the pitch to celebrate with their fans. Varane sinks to the floor inside our box, hands covering his face as Gauthier screams in his direction. What the fuck just happened?

A few minutes later, Jack Butland plucks a cross out of the air from a corner and then catches yet another shortly afterwards. Just as a third successive France attack is beginning with Pogba though, our captain’s robbed by Dele Alli and the English fans roar their encouragement as another counter attack begins. Alli passes to Kane, who hoofs the ball towards the left channel, where Webb nips in once again with that electric pace, squeezing between Varane and Sidibé before dropping the shoulder and turning inside. Webb squares it across the edge of the penalty area towards Harry Kane – And Kane lashes the ball past Leo Gauthier. 0-2. 5 minutes ago we were on top, but 1 absolute defensive howler and 1 clinical counter attack later, it’s 0-2.

I scream instructions from the touchline, telling my players to play through the middle as Butland looks like he’ll catch any cross we throw at him. I want us running at their young defence, using their lack of experience against them. We can drag them around and pass into the space they leave behind. In the 37th minute we look much, much better. Mbappé dribbles inside from the right wing, runs through the centre and lays the ball off for Griezmann, who wraps his unfavored right boot around the ball from 20 yards – And cracks a shot against the far post. Fucking hell.

Before half time it should be 0-3. Redmond passes inside from the right, finding Kaptain Kane, who cheekily backheels the ball through for Webb. Webb runs in behind Varane yet again and tries a first time shot from 15 yards, but spoons his effort well over the bar. We’re saved by the over-eagerness of youth. I can’t help but think if the roles were reversed and it were Kane who’d had that chance, it’d be game over.

“What the fuck is going on out there?” I scream. The French team line the benches with heads bowed in silence, as if in prayer. Even David Bechkoura, my assistant, doesn’t want to meet my gaze and stares at his feet as he leans against the changing room wall. “Are you lads the world champions or have I got the wrong fucking dressing room? Raphaël are you even listening?!” Varane’s sat nearest to me, staring closely at his water bottle. I snatch the bottle out of his hands and lob it across the dressing room floor, sending it skidding into the far wall. The centre back’s eyes do not move up to meet mine and a surge of cold fury rises through my body. “Look at me!” I bellow. He finally raises his head and glances up, but wearing an almost indignant look. “You more than anyone need to shape up, or I’ll get you back on that plane so fast your head will fucking spin!” He acknowledges me with the smallest of nods. “Much better when we get back out there, all of you.” I walk over and kick Varane’s water bottle one more time for luck, before storming out and heading back to the dugout.

I’ve never been this fucking scared in my managerial career. Before kick off I genuinely didn’t know whether I’d feel worse about winning or losing. I didn’t know what the consequences would be either way. Now I know. I’ve never blown up quite like that before. I suddenly feel like my entire managerial career and everything I’ve built over the last 8 years is hanging by a thread. We can’t lose this. We just can’t lose.

England make a change at the break. I can’t say I’m entirely surprised that Howe’s bringing on Brendan Galloway to play as the holding man in a 4-1-4-1, but it does surprise and slightly relieve me that Oliver Webb is the striker to make way. He and his terrifying pace have been Varane’s worst nightmare. In the first 10 minutes of the second half England remain on top, but their only real chances are pot shots from Cook and Kane, both of which are easily caught by Gauthier.

Although England aren’t too threatening at present, we’re being pushed further and further back into our own half and a change is required. Vice Captain Antoinne Griezmann does not look impressed when he turns to see a red number 7 on the 4th official’s board and gives his replacement Moussa Dembélé a quick pat on the back before storming down the tunnel, without even a glance in my direction. I’ll deal with that later. Right now we need a physical presence up top. We need somebody who can make the ball stick in the final third and give the others time to get forward to support our attacks through the centre. This sort of situation is exactly why I’ve brought Moussa along.

Over the next 10 minutes the change works… To an extent. Having Moussa holding the ball up allows us to push back at England and camp in their half, but we still have nothing to show for our efforts. Both sides then make changes, with Kingsley Coman replacing Thomas Lemar for France while Marcus Rashford and John Stones come on for Nathan Redmond and Stu Coleman for the Limies. All like for like swaps.

Then, just 3 minutes later, a glimmer of hope: Cook has possession in his own half but is quickly dispossessed by a superb Rabiot slide tackle. The midfielder exchanges passes with Bakayoko and Pogba as we work the ball through the centre. Then Captain Pogba chips the ball perfectly into the left channel for Mbappé to run onto. The Monaco man outpaces Lokando and expertly brings the ball under control with his boot. As Lokando and Stones try to surround him, Mbappé manages to clip a square ball across the 6 yard box -And Moussa Dembélé arrives to tuck away his first international goal.

“Come on!” I bellow, slamming my hands together in frantic applause as Dembélé picks the ball out of the net and heads back to the halfway line. We’re still in this. We’re still in with a chance. “Come on!” I repeat, unable to think of anything else to say. My head’s fucking swimming.

4 minutes later, we come forward through a packed England half again with Kingsley Coman. “Come on!” I scream, like a broken record. “Make it stick!” Coman obliges, passing to Dembélé, who’s stood with his back to goal 35 yards out. Dembélé holds it up well and then offloads to the arriving Bakayoko, who chips an almost identical ball to Pogba’s, finding Mbappé in the left channel. Mbappé again wriggles away from Lokando on the edge of the box, Stones again comes across to block any potential shot, but it never comes. Kylian squares it past Stones for Rabiot, who slams a shot towards goal – But it bounces back off the post for the third time and into the 6 yard box – A blue shirt gets there first! Go on! POGBA!!!

“YEEEEEEEEES!” Bechkoura’s high pitched scream feels like it almost shatters my ear drum as he jumps on my back. I shake him off immediately as I sprint towards the corner where the blue shirts are piling on top of our captain. I hear a dull thud from behind me as Bechkoura hits the floor but it’s quickly drowned out by the cheers of tens of thousands of French fans. Paul bloody Pogba’s poked in an equaliser! I reach the players and jump on top of the pile on, which by this point also includes substitutes, staff members and a couple of rogue fans. I can only assume Pogba lies broken and bloodied at the bottom, but we’ve fucking done it. We’re level. We’ve clawed it back. Vive la fucking Franj. We do try to complete the turnaround after the restart, but the final whistle signals the end of a 2-2 draw in Milan.

201 6 post.png

I immediately seek out Raphaël Varane and wrap an arm around his shoulders. He was alright in the second half and I’m happy to chalk his first half performance down to a one-off stinker against a very good opponent. As I then make my way among the opposition players, shaking hands, I catch Captain Pogba’s eye and give him a thumbs up.

201 7 varane positives.png

Then I make my way towards Moussa Dembélé, undoubtedly the hero of the hour, despite only playing for half of that. I clap him on the back as a mob of cameramen circle the two of us. This lad transformed us today. I’m sure I’ll take some of the plaudits in the press for making the change, but hand on heart, I didn’t think it’d work as well as it did. Moussa got us back into this game. Moussa turned the pressure back onto the opposition. Moussa won us a point.

201 8 dembele off mark.png

I’ll take a point too. The French fans seem in good spirits and the English still seem pretty chipper as well, despite their collapse. I hear the somewhat ironic words of Baddiel, Skinner and the Lightning Seeds emanating from the white sections of the stadium: “It’s coming home, it’s coming home, it’s coming – Football’s coming home”, sing the English in unbroken unison. Somewhere in that white mass I imagine Shorey, Jeffers and Bothroyd sneering down at me as they bellow along with the crowd.

“You’re right, lads.” I think with a grin. “But it’s coming home with me.”

201 8 must build.png

Euro 24 Part 6 >

Groups D-F (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Euro 24 Part 3)

We’ve familiarised ourselves with half of the 24 nations participating in Euro 2024. Now let’s meet the rest:

Start from the start with episode 1

< Euro 24 Part 2

My Short Stories WordPress

We’ve familiarised ourselves with half of the 24 nations participating in Euro 2024. Now let’s meet the rest:


Group D

Screen Shot 2018-10-06 at 16.02.11.png


Belgium (13th)

1 nation

Manager: Filip Daems

2 manager

Captain and Vice-Captain: Thibaut Courtois (Chelsea), Romelu Lukaku (Liverpool)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Qualifying Record: W4 D2 L2

5 schedule

Main Man: Kevin De Bruyne (Manchester City)

6 main

Left At Home: Romelu Lukaku (Liverpool), Adnan Januzaj (Espanyol), Jason Denayer (West Brom), Michy Batshuayi (Torino)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Up And Comers: Mohamed Hamoudan (Manchester United), Cas Willems (Anderlecht), Joran Devolder (Barcelona)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Others To Watch: Nany Dimata (Southampton), Divock Origi (Borussia Mönchengladbach), Youri Tielemans (Real Madrid)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Franjo’s Analysis

I’m interested to see how Belgium do in this tournament. In World Cup 2022 they underperformed dramatically, failing to qualify from a group that included Paraguay, Iran and host nation Canada. René Weiler was sacked as a result, all time most capped top goalscorer Eden Hazard retired from international football and a new era began under former Eupen boss Daems. He’s made the bold move of dropping Liverpool’s Romelu Lukaku and is trying to put his faith in the next batch of talent as Belgium’s golden generation comes towards it’s end. They’ve got some quality players and I think they’ll do well, but another Canada-esque collapse wouldn’t be the biggest surprise in the world. Qualifying results such as a draw against Kosovo and a loss against Estonia don’t inspire much confidence.

Group Prediction: 2nd

Overall Prediction: Out at the Second Round

10 squad 110 squad 2


Italy (9th)

1 nation

Manager: Vincenzo Italiano

2 manager

Captain and Vice-Captain: Gianluigi Donnarumma (Paris Saint-Germain), Daniele Rugani (AS Monaco)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Main Man: Andrea Belotti (Bayern Munich)

6 main

Left At Home: Alessandro Florenzi (AC Milan), Marco Verratti (Chelsea), Jorginho (Napoli), Simone Zaza (AC Milan), Alex Telles (FC Porto)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Up And Comers: Alberto Di Santo (Anderlecht on loan from AS Roma), Luca Cesana (Juventus), Alessandro Sacchi (Manchester City), Yuri Brugger (Barcelona), Alessandro D’Innocenzo (Arsenal), Enrico Botta (Tottenham Hotspur), Gianluigi Cacioppini (Bayer Leverkusen)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Others To Watch: Federico Chiesa (AS Monaco), Filippo Melegoni (Manchester United), Moise Kean (Paris Saint-Germain), Federico Bernadeschi (Chelsea)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Franjo’s Analysis

Wow. I tell you what, the age of Italy’s international domination might well be close. Since Massimo Allegri left his post in charge of the national team, his successor Italiano has gone full steam ahead into the next generation. Just look at some of those young players they’ve got coming through! All playing regular football at top European clubs too. I’d say it’s probably a tournament too soon for them, but I would not be surprised at all if Euro 2024’s host nation bags themselves a World Cup in 2 years time or a Euros in 4. For now, it’ll just be exciting to see how this young team does.

Group Prediction: 1st

Overall Prediction: Out at the Semi Finals

10 squad 110 squad 2


Poland (15th)

1 nation

Manager: Dariusz Banasik

2 manager

Captain and Vice-Captain: Grzegorz Krychowiak (FC København), Jaroslaw Budzyn (AS Roma)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Qualifying Record: W5 D2 L3

5 schedule

Main Man: Kamil Padzik (Napoli)

6 main

Left At Home: Sebastian Szymanski (Stade Rennais FC), Kamil Bartkowiak (Girondins de Bordeaux), Ryszard Baran (CS Sedan Ardennes)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Up And Comers: Rafal Kiepura (Augsburg)

8 uac 1

Others To Watch: Karol Linetty (Sampdoria), Bartlomiej Dragowski (Inter Milan), Arkadiusz Milik (Napoli)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Franjo’s Analysis

I’ve got to be honest, I’m a little disappointed that none of the lads from Katowice are going to be involved this Summer. Not surprised, but disappointed still. The closest any of them came was Ryszard Baran, who rose through GieKSa’s academy, has followed me to France and has so far won 10 caps for his country, but he’s left out. In terms of the Polish lads that are at the tournament, I’m unconvinced. They seem to have a lot of pretty decent players around the age of 23/24 who are plying their trade at a decent level, but they strike me as fairly flimsy in terms of depth. They rely on Arkadiusz Milik up front, who isn’t nearly as prolific a striker as we all once thought he’d be and apart from Linetty and Padzik, where’s the quality? Where’s the threat? I’m open to being proved wrong, but I can’t see them getting out of what is in fairness one of the strongest groups at the tournament.

Group Prediction: 4th

Overall Prediction: Out at the group stage

10 squad 110 squad 2


Sweden (12th)

Screen Shot 2018-10-14 at 14.41.26

Manager: Janne Andersen

Screen Shot 2018-10-14 at 14.42.02

Captain and Vice-Captain: Victor Lindelöf (Tottenham Hotspur), Linus Wahlqvist (Arsenal)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Qualifying Record: W8 D2 L2 (Qualified through playoffs)

Screen Shot 2018-10-14 at 14.43.43Screen Shot 2018-10-14 at 14.43.57

Main Man: Sead Haksabanovic (Manchester City)

Screen Shot 2018-10-14 at 14.45.28

Left At Home: John Guidetti (Stoke City), Karl-Johan Johnsson (Vitesse Arnhem), Christoffer Nyman (Empoli)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Up And Comers: Robin Holmgren (Zenit St Petersburg), Jim Lindau (Chievo on loan from AC Milan), Daniel Hansson, Jonas Claesson (Both AIK)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Others To Watch: Alexander Isak (Stuttgart), Jordan Larsson (Genoa), Ludwig Augustinsson (Olympique de Marseille), Simon Tibbling (Ajax)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Franjo’s Analysis

Sweden are such a tough one to call. On one hand, I don’t see them finishing above either Belgium or Italy. I see them finishing 3rd. On another hand, out of the teams that I think will finish 3rd, I think that they are the best team with the best squad. On a 3rd superfluous hand though, I don’t reckon they’ll go through purely because I think they’ll lose to Belgium and Italy and will be able to get a maximum of 3 points from Poland. It’ll be a shame if I’m right because I really do like the look of Sweden and I think they could be a very exciting team to watch. I’ll be hoping to be proven wrong.

Group Prediction: 3rd

Overall Prediction: Out at the Group Stage

Screen Shot 2018-10-14 at 15.01.38Screen Shot 2018-10-14 at 15.01.54


Group E

Screen Shot 2018-10-06 at 16.02.24.png


Denmark (19th)

Screen Shot 2018-10-14 at 15.03.03

Manager: Anders Jensen

Screen Shot 2018-10-14 at 15.03.35

Captain and Vice-Captain: Thomas Delaney (Swansea City), Pierre-Emile Højbjerg (Napoli)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Qualifying Record: W5 D1 L2

Screen Shot 2018-10-14 at 15.05.07

Main Man: Christian Eriksen (Tottenham Hotspur)

Screen Shot 2018-10-14 at 15.05.56

Left At Home: Simon Kjaer (Swansea City), Yussuf Poulsen (Olympique Lyonnais), Victor Fischer (Real Vallecano)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Up And Comers: René Hechmann (Sheffield Wednesday), David Michaelsen (SC Bastia)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Others To Watch: Jacob Bruun Larsen (Borussia Dortmund), Andreas Christensen (Bayern Munich), Andreas Cornelius (Anderlecht), Kasper Dolberg (New York Red Bulls)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Franjo’s Analysis

Denmark: Our third and final opponents in Group E. The thing about Denmark is that they have a very strong and very predictable spine to their team. A solid goalkeeper in Michaelsen, an effective partnership of speed and strength in the centre of defence with Christensen and Vestergaard, a pair of silky yet steely midfielders in Højbjerg and Delaney, a legendary playmaker in Eriksen and a horrifyingly fast and powerful striker in Poulsen. Except Poulsen misses out with a broken leg. On one hand, I feel for the lad. You never want to see that happen to anyone and at 29 he probably doesn’t have many tournaments left in him. On the other hand though, fucking jackpot. Suddenly Denmark are missing an essential cog in their well oiled machine. They’re most likely to fall back on either Cornelius or Dolberg up front but to be honest neither of them scare me too much. Neither of them have the pace, the strength or the boundless energy that Poulsen would have brought. I reckon we’ll beat the Danes and I reckon England will too. They’ll be in the same boat as Sweden as a 3rd placed team with one of the best squads but I don’t think they’ll come through the Group Stage.

Group Prediction: 3rd

Overall Prediction: Out at the Group Stage

Screen Shot 2018-10-14 at 15.12.50Screen Shot 2018-10-14 at 15.13.04


England (5th)

Screen Shot 2018-10-14 at 15.26.34

Manager: Eddie Howe

Screen Shot 2018-10-14 at 15.26.46

Captain and Vice-Captain: Harry Kane (Tottenham Hotspur), Jordan Henderson (Liverpool)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Qualifying Record: W7 D2 L1

Screen Shot 2018-10-14 at 15.28.17

Main Man: Dele Alli (Tottenham Hotspur)

Screen Shot 2018-10-14 at 15.28.57

Left At Home: Jordan Henderson (Liverpool), Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain, Raheem Sterling (Both Arsenal), Will Hughes (Manchester United), Phil Jones (AC Milan), Joe Bell, Ryan Sessegnon (Both Stoke City)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Up And Comers: Juddy Lokando (Manchester City), Ed Lynes (Southampton), Oliver Webb (Chelsea), David Crammond (West Ham United), Stuart Coleman (Manchester United)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Others To Watch: Marcus Rashford (Manchester United), Lewis Cook (AFC Bournemouth), Nathan Redmond (Everton), Eric Dier (Tottenham Hotspur)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Franjo’s Analysis

I like Eddie Howe, I think he’s a class act, but what on Earth is he thinking leaving Stoke’s Joe Bell out of his squad?! The lad’s scored 57 Premier League goals in the last 3 seasons and is this year’s Premier League Golden Boot winner Eddie, you bloody manic! Madness. Anyway, England will as I may have mentioned be our first opponents in Group E. Just looking at some of the names they’ve left back in Blighty sends shivers down my spine. No room for Sterling, Hughes, the aforementioned Bell or even Phil Jones, who just very nearly won his 3rd Serie A title in a row. England have an extremely good balance of youth and experience with one of the best defences in the world, a midfield packed with creativity and pace and a strike force to rival most. Let us not forget that this is a team that got to the World Cup Final in Canada 2 years ago, only to lose to my predecessor Arsene Wenger. They will get out of the group and they will go far, but hopefully not as far as us.

Group Prediction: 2nd

Overall Prediction: Out in the Quarter Finals

Screen Shot 2018-10-14 at 15.39.23Screen Shot 2018-10-14 at 15.39.34


France (2nd)

Screen Shot 2018-10-14 at 15.54.05

Manager: WT Franjo

Screen Shot 2018-10-14 at 15.54.29

Captain and Vice-Captain: Paul Pogba (Manchester United), Antoine Griezmann (Atlético Madrid)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Qualifying Record: W8 D0 L0

Screen Shot 2018-10-14 at 15.56.49

Franjo’s Analysis

You know France well enough by now and you’ll probably guess what I expect us to do. I want to try and look at us objectively like I have everyone else though.

What are France’s weaknesses?

Well for one, the age of our squad is absolutely one of if not the highest at the tournament. 22 of my 23 man squad are 25 years old or over with 20 year old Leo Gauthier the exception. 9 of them are 30 or over. This is something that I’ve been actively trying to sort over the last couple of years but the fact remains that the players we have are some of the best in the World and are still undroppable in my opinion. After this tournament though, I’ll be looking to properly ingratiate some of the younger lads like Clauss and Andre into the first team.

Another weakness we have is of my own making: Our defence. I’ve bleated on about this so many times at this point but we are weak at the back because of the almost gung-ho fluid attacking football that I want us to play, seeing as we are one of the best teams in the world and I want us to play as such. I still maintain that at least when we’re at home or in a neutral venue, my team can outscore anyone while playing in this style. So in theory we should be fine unless we meet Italy.

What are France’s strengths?

Our pace, our quality of passing, of dribbling, of shooting, of technique, our physical strength, our physical fitness, our strength in depth. We have so many strengths and that’s why I want us to win this competition.

Group Prediction: 1st

Overall Prediction: Euro 24 Winners

Screen Shot 2018-10-14 at 15.57.53Screen Shot 2018-10-14 at 15.58.08


Georgia (62nd)

Screen Shot 2018-10-16 at 20.19.22

Manager: Giorgi Kipiani

Screen Shot 2018-10-16 at 20.19.38

Captain and Vice-Captain: Levan Sopromadze (Karabükspor), Mate Tsintsadze (Verona)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Qualifying Record: W5 D0 L3

Screen Shot 2018-10-16 at 20.44.18

Main Man: Giorgi Arabidze (Shakhtar Donetsk)

Screen Shot 2018-10-16 at 20.45.26

Left At Home: Lucas Hufnagel (Banik Ostrava), Otar Kakabadze (Baltika)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Up And Comers: Malkhaz Nemsadze (Las Palmas), Zurab Samadashvili (Moreirense)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Others To Watch: Valeri Qazaishvili (AZ Alkmaar), Akaki Gogia (Ipswich Town FC)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Franjo’s Analysis

Poor Georgia. I honestly don’t want to sound harsh but if they don’t finish stone bottom of this group, at least 1 of the other 3 of us will have royally fucked up. Arabidze is actually quite a good player but I get the feeling that he’ll have to do everything by himself.

Group Prediction: 4th

Overall Prediction: Out at the Group Stage

Screen Shot 2018-10-16 at 20.57.43Screen Shot 2018-10-16 at 20.58.01


Group F

Screen Shot 2018-10-06 at 16.02.36.png


Scotland (35th)

Screen Shot 2018-10-16 at 21.13.48

Manager: Gordon Strachan

Screen Shot 2018-10-16 at 21.14.06

Captain and Vice-Captain: Andrew Robertson (Hull City), Callum Paterson (Everton)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Qualifying Record: W7 D0 L3

Screen Shot 2018-10-16 at 21.20.32

Main Man: Mark Brown (Sunderland)

Screen Shot 2018-10-16 at 21.22.37

Left At Home: Jordan Archer (Millwall), Kieran Freeman (Tottenham Hotspur), Barrie McKay (Glasgow Rangers)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Up And Comers: Chris Henderson (Stoke City), Phil McAllister (Partick Thistle), Grant Wyness (Chelsea)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Others To Watch: Kieran Tierney (Arsenal), Oliver Burke (Leicester City), Ryan Gauld (Espanyol)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Franjo’s Analysis

Look, down the years I’ve had some light-hearted, well intentioned pops at the Scottish. But let it never be said that I don’t give credit where credit’s due: This Scotland team, assembled by legendary manager Gordon Strachan, has got some bloody quality. So much so that I think they’ll sneak out of a very strong Group F (Or Group S as it may as well be called) as the final 3rd placed qualifier. Will they get any further than the Second Round? Och aye the no. Still, at least the fans will get to spend a few extra days out of the rain than usual, eh?

Group Prediction: 3rd (But will qualify)

Overall Prediction: Out at the Second Round

Screen Shot 2018-10-16 at 21.30.29Screen Shot 2018-10-16 at 21.30.40


Serbia (20th)

Screen Shot 2018-10-16 at 21.48.16

Manager: Slavisa Jokanovic

Screen Shot 2018-10-16 at 21.48.34

Captain and Vice-Captain: Predrag Rajkovic (AFC Bournemouth), Nikola Maksimovic (AZ Alkmaar)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Qualifying Record: W5 D2 L1

Screen Shot 2018-10-16 at 22.00.08

Main Man: Sergej Milinkovic Savic (Barcelona)

Screen Shot 2018-10-16 at 22.01.35

Left At Home: Sergej Milinkovic Savic (Barcelona), Nikola Maksimovic (AZ Alkmaar), Nikola Stojilkovic (Olympiakos), Aleksandar Mitrovic (Stade Rennais FC)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Up And Comers: Milorad Stevanovic (Barcelona), Dragan Rajkovic (Girondins de Bordeaux on loan from Barcelona), Dejan Lukic (AFC Bournemouth)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Others To Watch: Matija Nastasic, Andrija Zivkovic (Both Manchester United), Marko Grujic (Guangzhou), Lazar Romanic (West Bromwich Albion)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Franjo’s Analysis

So… This’ll sound a bit weird, but if I were to pick my nationality purely on footballing reasons, I think I’d seriously consider picking Serbia. They are not a glamorous team when it comes to international tournaments and are often overlooked, but they’re always there, always plugging away and always giving a good account of themselves. They’re just like I was as a player, proud to battle away in the background, ignoring the headlines, defensively solid. Yes, Milinkovic Savic is out with a broken leg, yes their vice captain and one of their best strikers have been left at home, but if you take anything away from my analyses, take this: Never write off Serbia to qualify from the Group Stage. They’re resilient bastards.

Group Prediction: 2nd

Overall Prediction: Out at the Second Round

Screen Shot 2018-10-16 at 22.41.48Screen Shot 2018-10-16 at 22.42.01


Spain (7th)

Screen Shot 2018-10-16 at 22.54.22

Manager: Marcelino

Screen Shot 2018-10-16 at 22.54.35

Captain and Vice-Captain: Koke (Atlético Madrid), Isco (Manchester City)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Qualifying Record: W7 D0 L1

Screen Shot 2018-10-16 at 22.59.35

Main Man: Abraham Pérez (Manchester United)

Screen Shot 2018-10-16 at 23.00.28

Left At Home: Sergio Busquets (Barcelona), Dani Carvajal (Real Madrid), Sandro Ramírez (Atlético Madrid)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Up And Comers: Jon Zabalza (Barcelona), Fran Giráldez (Crystal Palace on loan from Barcelona), Marc Alonso (Sunderland AFC on loan from Barcelona)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Others To Watch: Germán Ramos (Chelsea), Toni Lato (Paris Saint-Germain), Jesús Vallejo (Manchester City), Asier Villalibre (Atlético Madrid), Pablo Fornals (Real Madrid)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Franjo’s Analysis

I don’t think Spain are going to get very far in the Euros. Sue me.

Let me explain: The predictions that I’ve been making while describing each nation are not just me saying “I reckon they’ll get about this far”. I thought it’d be far more fun to actually plot who goes through from each group, then pair them off to create the second round and so on in an actual simulation of the tournament ahead. In this simulation, I have Spain winning Group S and facing the runner up of Group E, which is England. I reckon England would beat Spain, so I predict Spain, a team full of international superstars, will be out before the Quarters.

That aside, Spain are good. Very good. Practically the entire squad is made up of top players from the best La Liga, Premier League and Ligue 1 sides and prediction be damned, they might win the bloody thing for all I know. They have quality in abundance, brilliant depth and a very, very good balance of ages throughout the squad. Before I chicken out and change my prediction, let’s just all agree that they’ll at least get out of the group.

Group Prediction: 1st

Overall Prediction: Out at the Second Round

Screen Shot 2018-10-16 at 23.13.14Screen Shot 2018-10-16 at 23.13.24


Switzerland (=16th)

Screen Shot 2018-10-16 at 23.28.21

Manager: Urs Meier

Screen Shot 2018-10-16 at 23.28.49

Captain and Vice-Captain: Granit Xhaka (Arsenal), Ricardo Rodríguez (Chelsea)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Qualifying Record: W5 D2 L1

Screen Shot 2018-10-16 at 23.30.23

Main Man: Arnel Kalac (Chelsea)

Screen Shot 2018-10-16 at 23.31.42

Left At Home: Francisco Rodríguez (Brentford), Haris Seferovic (Getafe), Yann Sommer (Borussia Mönchengladbach), Olivier Custodio (AFC Bournemouth)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Up And Comers: Emiljano Pllumbaj (AFC Bournemouth)

Screen Shot 2018-10-16 at 23.35.10

Others To Watch: Breel Embolo (AS Roma), Denis Zakaria (AC Milan), Noah Okafor (Real Madrid), Xherdan Shakiri (Sporting)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Franjo’s Analysis

Switzerland have good players, but I don’t think they’ll do very well. It’s very handy that I’m talking about them directly after Spain because it makes it easy to make this comparison: Spain’s squad is largely made up of top players from top teams, while Switzerland’s squad is largely made up of players from top teams. Do you see the distinction? Kalac could well turn out to be a great striker for Chelsea, but at the minute he’s inexperienced and not playing as much football as he’d like. Elvedi is a valued centre back option for Arsenal, but he’s not a starter. Embolo’s mainly a super sub for Roma, Okafor is a squad player at Real and Widmer barely plays for Manchester City. With the exceptions of Zakaria and Shakiri, regulars at Milan and Sporting and arguably Xhaka, who plays a fair bit at Arsenal, Switzerland’s squad feels like a team full of the dregs of the big clubs and I think they’ll finish beneath the might of Spain, the resilience of Serbia and the surprising competence of Scotland at the bottom of their group.

Group Prediction: 4th

Overall Prediction: Out at the Group Stage

Screen Shot 2018-10-16 at 23.38.40Screen Shot 2018-10-16 at 23.38.52

So that’s that. 24 nations have been expertly analysed. 24 predictions have been painstakingly made. After much deliberation, I have reached the jaw-droppingly surprising conclusion that we can win this bloody tournament. All that’s left to do now is actually bring that to fruition.

Any predictions? Potential winners? Dark horses? Potential flops? Golden boot nominees? Let me know, would love to hear them.

Euro 24 Part 4 >

Groups A-C (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Euro 24 Part 2)

Here are the first three groups:

Start from the start with episode 1

< Euro 24 Part 1

My Short Stories WordPress

I think it’s about time we take a closer look at the European nations that we could potentially face throughout this tournament. There are 24 nations split into 6 groups of 4, with the top 2 in each group qualifying for the second round along with the 4 best third placed teams. Here are the first three groups:


Group A

Screen Shot 2018-10-06 at 16.01.35


The Netherlands (8th)

0 nation

Manager: Jurrie Koolhof

1 manager

Captain and Vice-Captain: Davy Klaassen (AS Roma), Jairo Riedewald (Manchester City)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Qualifying Record: W9 D1 L0

4 quals.png

Main Man: Tom Watson (Arsenal)

5 main

Left At Home: Stefan de Vrij (Paris Saint-Germain), Rick Karsdorp (AS Roma), Justin Kluivert (Valencia)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Up And Comers: Paul van de Leuv (Sunderland AFC), Olaf de Vrij (FC København)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Others To Watch: Virgil van Dijk, Hicham Faddil (Both Chelsea), Memphis Depay (Olympique Lyonnais), Thomas Buitink (Bayer Leverkusen)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Franjo’s Analysis

Look, we know that the Dutch are a footballing force. Out of every nation in this tournament, I look at them with probably the most consternation as they’re one of only two sides to have bested France under my regime. They can potentially be got at in midfield, but they have a solid defence and a very, very dangerous attack. They should stroll through the group stage and have a good tournament.

Group Prediction: 1st

Overall Prediction: Out at the Semi Finals

9 squad9 squad 2


Northern Ireland (69th)

0 nation

Manager: Jim Magilton

1 manager

Captain and Vice-Captain: Francis McVeigh (Crystal Palace), Jared Thompson (Portland Timbers)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Qualifying Record: W2 D1 L5 (Qualified through EIL Division D Group 1 win)

4 quals

Main Man: Stuart Dallas (Millwall FC)

5 main

Left At Home: Corry Evans (Rostov), Conor McLaughlin (N/A), Lee Hodson (AFC Wimbledon)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Up And Comers: Brendan Moore (Peterborough United), Keith Adams (Wigan Athletic)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Others To Watch: Cameron Dummigan (Kilmarnock), Callum Camps (FC Dallas)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Franjo’s Analysis

I’ll always root for a home nation, except for when they’re in my group and my main threat for qualification. That being said, the Northern Irish squad’s quality just isn’t there. Their best players are over the hill and the youngsters are below the level they need to be. Sorry lads, but I think it’s going to be a really rough tournament.

Group Prediction: 4th

Overall Prediction: Out at the Group Stage

9 squad9 squad 2


Romania (=16th)

0 nation

Manager: Ovidiu Stînga

1 manager

Captain and Vice-Captain: Vlad Chiriches (Espanyol), Florin Andone (Juventus)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Qualifying Record: W5 D1 L2

4 quals

Main Man: Andrei Ivan (AFC Bournemouth)

5 main

Left At Home: Vlad Chiriches (Espanyol), Paul Anton (Vitesse Arnhem), Steliano Filip (Norwich City)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Up And Comers: Silviu Grozea (Derby County on loan from Manchester City), Marcel Uta (Manchester City), Aurelian Ghita (Liverpool), Cristian Bisorca (Burnley)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Others To Watch: Dorin Rotariu (AFC Bournemouth), Dragos Nedelcu (Torino), Florin Tanase (Villarreal), Nicolae Stanciu (Anderlecht)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Franjo’s Analysis

I quite like the look of this Romania side. They’ve got some serious creativity in midfield with the likes of Bournemouth pair Ivan and Rotariu and a ruthless striker in Juve’s Andone. On paper they should have what they need to qualify out of the group stage, although I am a bit baffled that their captain’s going to be watching their matches from his sofa.

Group Prediction: 2nd

Overall Prediction: Out at the Quarter Finals

9 squad9 squad 2


Russia (39th)

0 nation

Manager: Alexandre Semenov

1 manager

Captain and Vice-Captain: Roman Zobnin (Spartak Moscow), Vyacheslav Karavaev (Bayer Leverkusen)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Qualifying Record: W7 D2 L3 (Qualified through playoffs)

4 quals4 quals 2

Main Man: Alexandr Arestov (CSKA Moscow)

5 main

Left At Home: Oleg Shatov (Zenit St Petersburg), Georgy Schennikov (Spartak Moscow), Alexey Miranchuk (Lokomotiv Moscow)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Up And Comers: Vitaly Obukhov (Grasshoppers on loan from Krasnodar), Andrey Kharin (Krasnodar), Andrey Kalashnikov (Dinamo Moscow), Nikita Ovchinnikov (Zenit St Petersburg)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Others To Watch: Alexandr Golovin (CSKA Moscow), Igor Demin (Krasnodar), Vitinho, Marat Lelyukhin (Both Spartak Moscow)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Franjo’s Analysis

Fun fact: In Soviet Russia, Euros qualify for you. I know, shit joke. I could have spent the last half a year managing in St Petersburg getting to know a few of these players as the vast majority ply their trade in the Russian Premier Division, although I am glad I stuck with Auxerre. They look like a decent side and young Arestov in particular looks like a bit of a prodigy up front, but I reckon their overall quality is lacking. Who knows though, maybe that core group of players that know one another well from the Moscow clubs will give Russia an advantage over their opponents. For me they’re getting pipped to second place by Romania but I could see them being one of the third placed teams that goes through as (Sorry again) they should at least record a win against Northern Ireland and could pinch an extra point against Romania.

Group Prediction: 3rd (But will qualify)

Overall Prediction: Out at the Second Round

9 squad9 squad 2


Group B

Screen Shot 2018-10-06 at 16.01.50


Czech Republic (40th)

1 nation

Manager: Karel Jarolim

2 manager

Captain and Vice-Captain: Ales Mateju (Hull City), Jan Baranek (FC København)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Qualifying Record: W5 D0 L3

5 schedule

Main Man: Patrik Schick (Inter Milan)

6 main

Left At Home: David Pavelka (AS Saint-Étienne), Pavel Kaderabek (Lazio), Jan Baranek (FC København)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Up And Comers: Simon Krecek (Stade Brestois 29), Martin Kubala (Benfica on loan from Liverpool), Jan Ptacek (Lokomotiv Moscow)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Others To Watch: Tomas Latal (Legia Warsaw), Vladimir Bilek (Southampton), Tomas Havlicek (Stoke City), Vlastimil Bartos (Olympique Lyonnais on loan from Arsenal), Vaclav Cerny (Ajax)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Franjo’s Analysis

I’m not too sure what to make of Czechia. On paper they’ve got some decent players but with the exceptions of perhaps Schick and Latal, nobody in their squad can claim to have had a truly good season for their clubs. Qualifying went well but one glaring defeat against Northern Ireland in particular (I really am so sorry) highlights how much of a hit and miss team they are. I think if that second tier of players like Bilek, Havlicek and Cerny turn up, they could definitely get out of the group. In fact I’ll even go as far as to say that I think they’ll scrape through with Russia as one of the best third placed teams.

Group Prediction: 3rd (But will qualify)

Overall Prediction: Out at the Second Round

9 squad 19 squad 2


FYR Macedonia (63rd)

1 nation

Manager: Igor Angelovski

2 manager

Captain and Vice-Captain: Ilija Nestorovski (DC United), Stole Dimitrievski (Girondins de Bordeaux)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Qualifying Record: W5 D4 L1

5 schedule

Main Man: Erdal Rakip (Trabzonspor)

6 main

Left At Home: Ezgjan Alioski (FC Lorient), Gjoko Zajkov (Nottingham Forest)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Up And Comers: Saso Aliji (Slaven Belupo on loan from Vardar), Martin Momitovski (Varazdin), Blagojce Filipovski (Slovan Bratislava)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Others To Watch: Nikola Gjorgjev (Pescara), Aleksandar Trajkovski (Córdoba), Leonard Zuta (Rijeka)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Franjo’s Prediction

Bare in mind that I do not say this lightly anymore, but I will eat my fucking hat if Macedonia make it out of Group B. Rakip’s a good little player and Dimitrievski’s thwarted me on a few occasions in the last couple of years for Bordeaux, but other than that I can’t see any danger whatsoever in their team. I think the best Macedonia can hope for is that the Czechs have a horrible tournament so that they can finish 3rd, otherwise…

Group Prediction: 4th

Overall Prediction: Out at the Group Stage

10 squad 110 squad 2


Portugal (6th)

1 nation

Manager: José Barros

2 manager

Captain and Vice-Captain: Rúben Dias (Benfica), João Mário (Real Madrid)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Qualifying Record: W7 D1 L0

5 schedule

Main Man: Renato Sanches (Chelsea)

6 main

Left At Home: Rui Patrício (Sporting), William Carvalho (Juventus), Nélson Semedo (Barcelona), André Gomes (Sevilla on loan from Monaco)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Up And Comers: António Branco (Liverpool), Paulo Almeida (Red Bull Leipzig)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Others To Watch: André Silva (Bayern Munich), Bernardo Silva (AS Monaco), Raphaël Guerreiro (Real Madrid), Gonçalo Guedes (Barcelona)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Franjo’s Analysis

Surely one of the favourites for the tournament, Portugal have some absolutely fantastic talent among their ranks, including a mouth watering front 4 of Martins, Benardo Silva, Guedes and André Silva. They actually could be slightly top-heavy, as their defence is far less well stocked than their midfield and attack, but along with the Netherlands they’ve beaten my France team and I would not relish the opportunity to meet them again. Should go extremely far.

Group Prediction: 1st

Overall Prediction: Out at the Semi Finals

10 squad 110 squad 2


Ukraine (25th)

1 nation

Manager: Illya Galyuza

2 manager

Captain and Vice-Captain: Taras Stepanenko (Shakhtar Donetsk), Maxim Tankov (Arsenal)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Qualifying Record: W8 D2 L0

5 schedule

Main Man: Maxim Tankov (Arsenal)

6 main

Left At Home: Yaroslav Rakitskyi (Shakhtar Donetsk), Sergiy Rybalka (Dynamo Kyiv), Maxym Malyshev (Shakhtar Donetsk)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Up And Comers: Alexey Ivanov (Zenit St Petersburg), Alexey Sukhov (Hamburg)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Others To Watch: Alexey Yusupov (Borussia Dortmund), Victor Kovalenko (Shakhtar Donetsk), Olexandr Zinchenko (Olympique Lyonnais)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Franjo’s Analysis

2 words: Maxim Tankov. The Arsenal striker isn’t Ukraine’s only threat, but my God… It’d be lazy to compare Maxim to Andriy Shevchenko, but I think the 22 year old’s record of 37 goals in 47 international appearances speaks for itself and I expect him to fire his nation out of the group stage single-handedly if need be. Depending on how deep into the tournament Ukraine go, the Golden Boot could well be a possibility for the boy too.

Group Prediction: 2nd

Overall Prediction: Out at the Quarter Finals

10 squad 110 squad 2


Group C

Screen Shot 2018-10-06 at 16.02.01


Croatia (11th)

1 nation

Manager: Marijan Vlak

2 manager

Captain and Vice-Captain: Mateo Kovacic (Paris Saint-Germain), Domagoj Vida (Girondins de Bordeaux)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Qualifying Record: W7 D2 L1

5 schedule

Main Man: Marcelo Brozovic

6 main

Left At Home: Domagoj Vida (Girondins de Bordeaux), Marko Rog (Borussia Mönchengladbach)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Up And Comers: Emanuel Glavica, Ivan Damjanovic (Both Everton)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Others To Watch: Marko Pjaca (Manchester City), Tin Jedvaj (Manchester United), Josip Brekalo (Olympique Lyonnais), Nikola Vlasic (Galatasaray)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Franjo’s Analysis

Croatia are at the point now where they really need to put up or shut up as their golden-ish generation is in it’s prime. 15 of their 23 man squad are between the ages of 28 and 32 and 8 are 30 or over, so they have plenty of experience. For this reason though they don’t have a great balance in the squad, with Glavica and Damjanovic of Everton the youngest players selected. It’s a risky strategy going for so much experience and might cause problems for the national team further down the line, but I think they should at least get out of the group on this occasion.

Group Prediction: 2nd

Overall Prediction: Out at the Second Round

10 squad 110 squad 2


Germany (4th)

Screen Shot 2018-10-13 at 14.22.55

Manager: Joachim Löw

Screen Shot 2018-10-13 at 14.23.09

Captain and Vice-Captain: Silvio Cvitanovic (Paris Saint-Germain), Mohamed Acheampong (Red Bull Leipzig)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Qualifying Record: W7 D3 L0

Screen Shot 2018-10-14 at 14.16.25.png

Main Man: Christopher Dieckmann (Bayern Munich)

Screen Shot 2018-10-14 at 14.18.51

Franjo’s Analysis

Unfortunately there isn’t too much I can say about Germany. That being said, they are Germany, so they’ll do alright.

Group Prediction: 1st

Overall Prediction: Out at the Quarter Finals

Screen Shot 2018-10-14 at 14.23.52Screen Shot 2018-10-14 at 14.24.06


Norway (21st)

1 nation

Manager: Arne Erlandsen

2 manager

Captain and Vice-Captain: Birger Meling (Anderlecht), Kristoffer Ajer (Swansea City)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Qualifying Record: W6 D0 L4 (Qualified through playoffs)

5 schedule5 schedule 2

Main Man: Martin Ødegaard (Chelsea)

6 main

Left At Home: Håvard Nielsen (Derby County), Martin Linnes (Swansea City), Mohammed Elyounoussi (Basel)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Up And Comers: Oddbjørn Thoresen (Young Boys on loan from Manchester City), Olav Engen, Ronny Rossbach (Both Young Boys)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Others To Watch: Iver Fossum (Leicester City), Sander Berge (KRC Genk), Tobias Svendsen (Watford)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Franjo’s Analysis

Norway will… Hmm… You know what, I honestly have no idea how Norway will do. A spotty qualifying campaign, admittedly in a group containing 2 good sides in Belgium and Denmark, was followed up by playoff wins against Cyprus and Austria. A win over Austria is very credible indeed but it just leaves me at a loss as to guess how the Norwegians will do. They have a very talented midfield, but are fairly lacking at both ends of the pitch. I’ll go for a clean sweep for these 3 groups: Norway, along with Russia and Czechia, will finish 3rd but qualify for the Second Round. Along with Russia and Czechia though, that’s probably as far as they can hope to get.

Group Prediction: 3rd (But will qualify)

Overall Prediction: Out at the Second Round

10 squad 110 squad 2


Turkey (=22nd)

1 nation

Manager: Ersun Yanal

2 manager

Captain and Vice-Captain: Ozan Tufan (Fenerbahçe), Çaglar Söyüncü (Galatasaray)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Qualifying Record: W6 D1 L1

5 schedule

Main Man: Enes Ünal (Olympique de Marseille)

6 main

Left At Home: Yunus Malli (Fenerbahçe), Alper Potuk (Kayserispor)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Up And Comers: Hayri Yilmaz (Besiktas), Tayfun Ünsal (Galatasaray)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Others To Watch: Salih Özcan (Köln), Hakan Çalhanoglu (Lekhwiya Sports Club), Yigithan Güveli (Schalke 04), Emre Mor (Brentford)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Franjo’s Analysis

Turkey are an odd one. I don’t think they’re that poor a side but I think that out of Group C, they are probably the weakest. They breezed through a qualifying group where the only real threat was Switzerland and both teams took a win each from their encounters. I can’t decide whether I really like the balance of their squad either, with half the players between the ages of 20-23 and the other half between 26-31. In theory this is a good mixture of youth and experience but in my opinion the age gap between the two core groups could result in a lack of chemistry. Çalhanoglu is a good player and is wasted in the Qatari league, while players like Tufan, Özcan and especially Ünal have the potential to cause some upsets, but I can see them finishing at the bottom of the group.

Group Prediction: 4th

Overall Prediction: Out at the Group Stage

10 squad 110 squad 2


Euro 24 Part 3 >

Euro 24 Squad Announcement (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Euro 24 Part 1)

France are ready. The rest of Europe had better be ready too.

Side note: Right then, with your help I have figured out how we’re going to do this! Cheers for getting in touch. This week I’ll be releasing 5 episodes and they’re going to be mainly build up with the first match coming on Friday. After that we’ll be going back to 3 episodes per week and matches will be every other ep instead of just 1 a week. Hope you enjoy!

Start from the start with episode 1

< Episode 200

My Short Stories WordPress

Brahim and Nathan’s faces are difficult to read. I wish they weren’t. I wish they’d be visibly upset or angry. I’m gutted for the pair of them, I really am. If I could take 25 players with me to Italy, they’d both make the squad, but I can’t. So they don’t. Unlike the other players that I’ve cut from the France squad, who just got faux-apologetic phone calls, I wanted to sit my Auxerre boys down and explain to them why they aren’t going. Ferhat isn’t going because his position for Auxerre this season has mainly been cutting in from the left wing and as luck would have it, I already have the best player in the World in that position at my disposal in Kylian Mbappé. If Kylian isn’t available, I’ve got Coman, I’ve got Lemar, I’ve got Griezmann. To choose Brahim over any of them would frankly be wrong and an emotional decision on my part.

euro 6 ferhat

Nathan Andre’s omission on the other hand was a much tougher decision. It was practically a coin flip. I’ve chosen Griezmann obviously, who is my first choice striker although Mbappé could take the role at some point. Behind them I’ve chosen Neal Maupay as he’s a proven goalscorer and has risen in my estimation more than most over the last 2 years thanks to his performances for both club and country. I’ve also chosen Moussa Dembélé, as he’s a different kind of player to the short, silky-skilled Griezmann, the rapid, almost-omni-skilled Mbappé and the right-place-at-the-right-time poacher Maupay. Dembélé can hold the ball up and bring others into play, which we may need at some point should the situation demand it. But the final forward spot was between Nathan Andre and Nabil Fekir. On one hand we’ve got a young lad from my Auxerre team who’s been in the form of his life over the last few months, but on the other we’ve got a seasoned pro who’s been scoring goals for Real Madrid, who’s adept at playing on either wing as well as up top and who I won’t be dropping in at the deep end in terms of his reintroduction to international football. It comes down to the fact that Fekir’s more versatile, playing at the highest level and has more experience, so Nathan misses out by a hair. After the duo leave my office, wishing me luck for the tournament ahead through forced smiles, I drop my head into my hands. Sorry, boys.

euro 7 andre

The other unlucky players to be trimmed away from the final squad are Yannick Clauss, Sebastien Corchia, Theo Hernández, Francis Coquelin and Ousmane Dembélé. If we were any other nation Clauss would probably be one of our core players at centre back, but we’re France and we just have too much quality at the back to give him a spot. He’ll be a nailed on starter in a couple of years. I think Corchia and I both knew that he wouldn’t be joining us in the final squad as his age is against him. Coquelin is out for the same reason. We have younger, better players in their positions. Hernández was a really tricky omission and a decision that I’ve been wrestling with for the last year, but he misses out purely because of how impressed I am with Lucas Digne and Benjamin Mendy. I think any of the 3 would do a job for us, but the pair I’ve selected are my preferred options. Ousmane Dembélé is left out for a similar reason to Ferhat, Andre, Hernández and Clauss: We’re just too strong in his position.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

200.5 5 dembele out

200.5 6 hernandez disappointed

But that’s enough about who’s out. Let’s remind ourselves of who’s in:

Goalkeepers:

1. Leo Gauthier (FC Sochaux)

Our number 1. He’s impressed me when he’s played for France and he’s had a very impressive season for Sochaux. He’s earned this.

squad 1 gauthier

13. Alphonse Areola (Swansea City)

Alphonse has had a fair season for Swansea in the Premier League. He’s consistently put in good performances in South Wales, although he has conceded quite a lot of goals. Mind you, he’s a good keeper but he’s not a miracle worker.

squad 2 areola

23. Alban Lafont (Stoke City)

Alban could argue that his performances for Stoke this season should push him above Areola in the pecking order. It’s a decent point to be fair. He’s conceded far fewer goals per game although he is playing for a better club. I hope that I’m not given reason to drop Leo but if I am, he’ll certainly be considered.

squad 3 lafont

Defenders:

2. Djibril Sidibé (AS Monaco)

Djibril might be my favourite player in the France team, excluding the Auxerre lads of course. He’s consistently excellent at right back and a no brainer to be in my starting XI.

squad 4 sidibe

3. Lucas Digne (Manchester City)

After much deliberation it’s Digne who’ll take us into the Euros as our starting left back. I’ve never had reason to complain about his performances for France and he’s had a great season at City. If we reach the Semi-Finals and he plays every match, Lucas will reach 100 caps.

squad 10 digne

4. Aymeric Laporte (Chelsea)

Chelsea skipper and arguably best centre back in the world, Aymeric is another no brainer. He’s in my starting XI.

squad 8 laporte

5. Raphaël Varane (Real Madrid)

Another contender for best centre back in the world and another absolute certainty for the starting XI. Like Digne, Raphaël can potentially reach 100 caps during the tournament.

squad 6 varane

12. Corentin Tolisso (AS Monaco)

Corentin isn’t one of the players I have earmarked for a starting place against England, but he’ll definitely get plenty of game time. He’s a great player to have and can play in a few different positions. Never lets us down.

squad 5 tolisso

15. Benjamin Mendy (Atlético Madrid)

The most hated man in the Hernández household. Mendy’s had a very good season in Madrid and will no doubt put in a performance if called upon.

squad 11 mendy

19. Samuel Umtiti (Barcelona)

I’ll say the same about Samuel as I did about Clauss: If we were any other nation he’d be a nailed on starter. Unfortunately he’s just one of many world-class French centre backs and will be acting as back up for Varane and Laporte.

squad 9 umtiti

21. Dayot Upamecano (Real Madrid)

No doubt a starter in a few years when our other 3 centre backs most likely start to decline. Still an excellent option to have for the time being.

squad 7 upamecano

Midfielders:

6. Tiémoué Bakayoko (AS Monaco)

Surprised the shit out of me when I took over the French national team by being my finest ball winning midfielder. Excellent all over the pitch, including a much appreciated penchant for scoring wonder goals. Nailed on starter.

squad 13 bakayoko

8. Adrien Rabiot (AS Monaco)

The other half of my preferred central midfield duo along with his Monaco team mate Bakayoko. Almost as impressive but with a bit more creativity thrown in too.

squad 12 rabiot

10. Paul Pogba (Manchester United)

The man that our whole system was built around. I had the same headache initially as I’m sure many of Paul’s managers have had: “Where do I play him? He’s good everywhere”. I tried him out as a destroyer/second striker and he took to it like a duck to water. If Pogba has a good tournament, so will we.

squad 17 pogba

11. Thomas Lemar (Manchester City)

Initially I baulked when Man City paid £105M to Monaco in exchange for Thomas, but I get it now. He’s an unstoppable creative force whether charging up the wing, cutting inside, shooting, dribbling or passing. He’s also excellent from dead ball situations. A perhaps understated driving force of this France team.

squad 18 lemar

16. Abdoulaye Sissako (AJ Auxerre)

I’ve said all I possibly can about Abi. It really says all that needs to be said about his character that in the face of adversity and criticism from the media before his international debut, he came off the bench and slammed in a goal from 25 yards. Has refused to stop impressing me for the last 3 years.

squad 14 sissako

17. Lamine Fomba (AJ Auxerre)

Remember when I nearly let Fomba’s contract run out a few weeks into my Auxerre tenure? He’d had a shocking season as we flailed about in Ligue 2 but he’s come on leaps and bounds since then and has now established himself firmly as a Ligue 1 central midfielder. Yet to impress for France as much as Sissako has, but to his credit I am flabbergasted that a player I nearly kicked out 3 years ago is now in my squad for the Euros as backup for Paul Pogba. He’s earned it. Good lad, Lamine.

squad 15 fomba

18. Kingsley Coman (Manchester United)

An excellent player and an excellent creative outlet, although he has hit the woodwork more than any other player I’ve encountered in my career. Kingsley will either be in or extremely close to the starting XI as per usual.

squad 16 coman

Strikers:

7. Antoine Griezmann (Atlético Madrid)

I considered ending Antoine’s international career earlier this season amidst poor performances for Atléti, but he responded in a ridiculous manner by having an outstanding season for his club and for me. Deserves to still have a place in the starting XI.

squad 20 griezmann

9. Kylian Mbappé (AS Monaco)

The best footballer in the World. Enough said, really.

squad 19 mbappe

14. Neal Maupay (FC Lorient)

As I’ve mentioned, Neal was always a dead cert in the final squad thanks to 2 extremely impressive seasons for Lorient. I’ll have no worries throwing him into the team to bag us a couple of goals.

squad 21 maupay

20. Nabil Fekir (Real Madrid)

Nabil had better have a good tournament, because I feel fucking awful about dropping Nathan Andre. That said, he won’t be a starter but he will play a part and I’ll be expecting him to continue his good La Liga form when he does.

squad 23 fekir

22. Moussa Dembélé (Espanyol)

This time last year I challenged Moussa… Misguidedly… To join a bigger club and he refused. I challenged him to continue his fantastic goalscoring record over a longer period of time and he has done. I challenged him to add some assists to his game and he has done. Few have earned their place in this squad as much as Moussa Dembélé.

squad 22 dembele

So that’s our squad for Euro 2024. France are ready. The rest of Europe had better be ready too.

200.5 3 squad decided

200.5 4 announced

200.5 15 squad num200.5 15 squad num 2

Euro 24 Part 2 >

Au Revoir (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep200)

Ça a été un privilège.

Start from the start with episode 1

< Meta-sode 199.5

My Short Stories WordPress

I’m not sure why I didn’t think of this before. I’m honestly not. How could I have been so foolish? How could I have been so naive? Until very recently, I had very low hopes for Auxerre’s Europa League push because I had been working under the frankly ridiculously stupid assumption that the domestic cup competitions could be won by a team other than Monaco or PSG. Idiotic of me, I know. But now, with Monaco having won the Coupe de la Ligue and the final of the French cup confirmed to feature both teams, 6th place in Ligue 1 is officially a Europa League place. We have never been closer to European football.

Oh and also, piss off, Rodolfo Borrell. Again.

200 1 1 borrell spotted.png

Unfortunately for us, we’ve only managed to pick up 1 point from our last 2 matches and so we’ve slid beneath Sochaux into 7th place, albeit with a game in hand. Also unfortunately for us, Brahim Ferhat and Gaizka Basauri pick up a stubbed toe and a concussion respectively during the build up to our game in hand.

Also also unfortunately for us, the game in question is against Zlatan Ibrahimovic’s Olympique Lyonnais. If there’s one team in the league whose matches against us can go to the absolute extremes in either direction, it’s Lyon.

200 1 5 preview.png

Zlatan’s tactics don’t seem to have evolved much since we first met in Valenciennes, although I’m one to talk. He still plays that 4-4-2, we still play Meatloaf. Fomba and Aidir come in for Raf and Andre. Ferhat starts despite not being fully fit and Basauri makes the bench. Let’s get ourselves into the Europa League places.

200 1 6 formations.png

After 10 minutes, a warning shot comes quite literally across our bow when Raí pokes a pass through for Blanchard, who gets goal-side of Doucouré and drags his effort just wide of the post. 10 minutes later though he returns the favour, getting to the right byline and drilling in a cross for Raí, who tucks in the opening goal from close range. Bollocks. We go agonisingly close straight from kick off when a good passing move sets Billy off down the left. The Moroccan full back gets a great cross in, Fomba leaps to beat goalkeeper Lopes in the air, but then with the goal at his mercy he heads just wide. We go in for the break at 0-1.

At half time, Reynier comes on replacing Ferhat, who I took a chance on despite his recent injury but has not really offered us anything. Within 7 minutes of the restart we go close again from a McCarthy corner that drops down into the centre of the box. Reynier shoots, but a defender blocks, then Billy has a go – Also blocked. Billy again – A defender throws his body across goal to make yet another block. Bloody hell.

With half an hour to play I send Raf and Andre onto the pitch, replacing Fomba and Aidir and within 5 minutes of the change, we finally claw ourselves level. Another corner from McCarthy is swung in to the edge of the 6 yard box, Doucouré nods it on and substitute Nathan Andre, stood 2 yards out with his back to goal, stoops and flicks the ball into the net with his head.

The match winds down somewhat after that. To be fair, a draw against the league’s 4th placed club is nothing to be sniffed at… We don’t get a draw though. In the 2nd minute of stoppage time, we work the ball down the right wing and Foden gets a cross in. The ball’s headed back to him and Phil tries again, but this time his cross is volleyed half-clear by Bartos. It goes as far as Raf 20 yards out, who takes the ball down on the edge of the box, takes a touch to get it out of his feet and drills it into the bottom corner.

My vindication blanket has never been so comfortable as Zlatan stares daggers at me from down the touchline. I’m not one to boast usually, but if I say so myself, that is a double substitution and a half. Take a bow, Nathan. Take a bow… Erm… Albert. You’ve gone and fired us into a Europa League spot for the first time this season.

200 1 9 post.png

I stifle a laugh as I watch Zlatan being interviewed by JOE. “Very ordinary” are the words that he uses to describe Auxerre. “Very ordinary.” Like how you’d describe the act of combining butter and toast for a breakfast treat. Like a car indicating right and then turning right. Like Zlatan Ibrahimovic not being able to handle defeat. “Very ordinary”. I tell you what though, Zlatan: Buttered toast is tasty and indicators save lives. You petty bastard.

200 2 1 ibra rues.png

200 2 3 pre match.png

Man of the match Raf makes the team of the week, despite having only played half an hour. To think that I nearly let him go last Summer. Good laf, Rad. I mean good lad, Raf.

200 2 2 totw.png

It’s funny how often parallels and strangely coincidental situations pop up in football. Stade Rennais, you might recall, were our penultimate opponents of the 2022/23 season and it was against them that we secured safety in Ligue 1 thanks to our win and a failure of our rivals to get a result. Stade Rennais are our penultimate opponents once again today and if we win against them while Sochaux fail to secure a win against Metz, Auxerre will be in the Europa League next season. This actually seems like a good opportunity to mention though that even if we do get into Europe, I don’t want to be at Auxerre next season. I’m more than happy with what I’ve achieved here and I want to move on. Last Summer I did look for a new club, but when the moves I wanted didn’t materialise I was happy to stay put. This Summer is different. This time I’m leaving.

200 2 4 preview.png

So let’s make sure my last away match as Auxerre manager is a good one, shall we? We’ll use our counter attacking variant of Project: Meatloaf and I’m making a few changes: Our two Moroccans Hicham Aidir and Billy are suspended, so Isaac Sohna and Nathan Andre come in to replace them, with Doucouré shifting over to left back. I could use Nantes-bound Rogerio instead, who incidentally will definitely not be playing European football next season, but frankly what’s the point? Raf comes back in for Fomba of course, because he deserves it after his performance against Lyon. I do make something of a bench malfunction though, as I’ve allowed most of those not in the starting XI to play in the reserves match this morning. My bad. Lamine Fomba, the recently debuted Loïc Maire and newly professional Texan striker Lance Osborn are our only substitutes. Lance is definitely one to keep an eye on and I’m saddened that he’s only just turned 16 and thus become eligible to play in Ligue 1 as my time here comes to an end.

200 1 8 osborn

200 2 5 formations

If there’s one thing that I love about this Auxerre side, it’s that they truly are a bunch of battlers. I may sometimes go overboard after we capitulate and throw away a lead or fail to turn up for a match and get beaten, but when I do it’s because I know how hard a shift they can put in when it really matters. I know how well they can turn up for the big occasions and when they fail to do that it really bloody angers me. With the pressure on, we turn up early for this one.

An early Ferhat shot is deflected into the arms of Jovanovic after 3 minutes, but 2 minutes later we take the lead with what I’m going to shamelessly describe as a perfect counter attack. The ball starts off with Foulquier, who gets a cross into our box from the right wing. Celsiney’s the man to step up and head the ball clear and as it floats over towards Steven N’Zonzi, Raf uses his pace and nips in to steal. Raf strides forwards and plays it to Foden, who then sweeps an excellent ball over to Ferhat on the left hand side of Rennais’ box. Ferhat squares for McCarthy, McCarthy lays the ball off for captain Nathan Andre and Andre slams it in off the underside of the crossbar. And did I mention that Metz are already beating Sochaux? It’s a perfect first 5 minutes.

A few minutes after the opener, Foden charges through the centre of the pitch but blazes a shot over the crossbar as we continue to dominate. It’s not until the 15th minute that we double our lead when Ferhat holds the ball up 25 yards out, plays a clever ball through for Andre and the striker finds the far top corner of the net from inside the box. Shortly afterwards I hear word from Bechkoura that Metz too are 2-0 up over Sochaux. I’m almost suspicious about how perfectly this is going.

Before the half hour, Foden tries to switch the play to Ferhat. The ball’s intercepted on the edge of Rennais’ box by Foulquier but is instantly robbed back by Raf, who then speeds past Jovanovic and buries his second goal in as many games in the bottom right corner. 3-0.

Stade Rennais actually go close a couple of times before half time. Well, once. Puscas has a shot from 30 yards that flies almost comically high and wide, so I wouldn’t describe that as close, but a minute later N’Zonzi smashes a 25 yard free kick against Vladimir’s crossbar, but we hold onto our clean sheet. In the 45th minute, Ferhat picks up a cut across the head and gets to channel his inner Terry Butcher by wearing a huge bandage over it.

200 ferhat bandage

When we get to half time I decide to make a slight change to make us more solid, suspicious as I am. We drop to a 4-1-2-3 with Raf as the holding man, McCarthy acting as the “quarterback” and Sissako the ball winner.

But the hosts don’t appear to have much in the tank aside from poorly executed pot shots. 12 minutes after the restart we actually go close to a 4th goal when the bandaged Ferhat receives the ball off McCarthy and thuds a 20 yard shot against the bar. I then hear that Metz have matched us again by opening up a 3 goal margin against our rivals. Our opponents do pull a goal back with about 20 minutes to go when Szymanski squares to Tulissi 25 yards out. Tulissi has a pop and Vladimir has a shocker. He’s slightly off his line when the shot comes straight over his head and although the Brazilian raises his gloves in an attempt to halt the ball’s trajectory, he let’s it pass straight between them.

That’s that though. I hand a debut to Lance Osborn for the final 15 minutes and Sissako has a late shot deflected wide, but then it’s done. The final whistle blows. Between May 2021 and May 2024, Auxerre have transformed from a side ready to tumble into the third tier to Europa League qualifiers.

200 2 6 post

Screen Shot 2018-10-07 at 14.31.28

200 3 1 osborn debut

200 3 2 qualified

I’m on an all time high following the match, I really am. Auxerre are back in Europe. The thought of it. The sheer idea of it has me sporting a cheshire cat grin to rival Sylvania’s. I even briefly wonder whether I really do want to leave, but I’m quickly brought back down to Earth during a meeting with Dennis Sundberg and club director Erik Eggert. To ready the club for Europe and baring in mind the £20-odd million we’ve made in player sales this season, £2.7M will be available for transfers this Summer. Not even enough to buy another Amine Reynier. I honestly can’t believe it and I tell them as much. The fucking gaul of them. Their attitude that seems to say “Well we’ve barely spent any money over the last 3 years, so why start now?” The next manager is going to have a job on his hands.

200 3 3 initial budgets.png

But with Auxerre’s league position just about wrapped up, I think I can afford to take my eye off club matters for a moment. It’s time to announce my preliminary France squad for the upcoming Euros.

199.5 1 squad to be announced

199.5 2 decision time

There’s no real surprises in my 30 man squad. I select those who’ve impressed me either for their clubs, for France or for both. Notable inclusions are Yannick Clauss, who’s had a good season for Arsenal and was OK during March’s friendlies, Sébastien Corchia, who’s been out of my squads for a while but provides an option in defence, Ousmane Dembélé, who still has yet to convince me but again is an option, Nabil Fekir, who has finally managed to get some game time under his belt and score some goals in Madrid, so is right back in my thoughts, Moussa Dembélé, who has been in and out of the squad this season but definitely provides a different kind of option up front and Auxerre quartet Abdoulaye Sissako, Lamine Fomba, Nathan Andre and Brahim Ferhat. Each of them have had terrific seasons and although the latter duo have failed to impress on the international stage in their only previous call ups, they’ve earned this chance. Especially Andre. His late season form has been remarkable.

199.5 4 preliminary squad

199.5 5 announced

What will never cease to amaze me though is the media’s obsession with dictating squad selection. Just picking 2 examples out of the air at random, how about the criticism I’m facing from certain outlets for not selecting Chelsea’s Ngolo Kanté or PSG’s Anthony Martial, who’ve started 2 and 4 matches this season respectively.

199.5 6 sissako over kante

199.5 7 kante

199.5 8 martial out

199.5 9 martial

200 3 5 pre match.png

It’s time to end my time at this wonderful club in style though and now that a top 6 finish is secured, what would really put the cherry on top is if we could climb above Bordeaux into 5th place. It will not be an easy task as Bordeaux are 2 points ahead of us with an 18 goal superior goal difference, which means that realistically, we need to win against FC Metz, who did us a real favour last week and Bordeaux need to lose at home against Stade Rennais, who… We just destroyed. As I say, it will not be an easy task.

200 3 6 preview.png

I’m making no personnel changes, because why on Earth would I? Billy and Aidir are back and will sit on our now fully stocked bench, but we do revert to Meatloaf classic. We’ll attack and I’ll try and give these supporters one last great performance as we attempt to climb even higher in Ligue 1.

200 3 7 formations.png

As my players and I step onto the pitch inside the Stade l’Abbé-Deschamps for what I assume will be the final time, it hits me. The wall of noise from the Auxerroises feels like it shakes the stadium’s very foundations. A gleeful voice welcomes us over the PA system, announcing the arrival for the final time this season of AJ Auxerre, Europa League qualifiers. The wall of noise grows louder and more jubilant still. The reaction, as well as bringing me closer to tears than I’ve been since that strange night in Stockholm, makes me think. I believe it’s fair to say that my career as a manager is following an upward trajectory and if it keeps going as such, I’m going to reach a point where I’m at a big club. A very big club. A top club even. Can you get a reaction like this from a top club’s fans? Can you overachieve to this extent and make the fans this happy with a top club? I’m genuinely asking. It seems to me as an outsider that the better the club, the more expectation grows and the more your remit becomes “Just don’t fuck it up”. The thought makes me quite sad. I hope at some point that I’ll make that step, but I also really fucking hope that that doesn’t mean leaving this feeling behind.

The referee blows his whistle and the match begins. It quickly becomes apparent that Metz aren’t going to just roll over and help us topple Bordeaux too. They’ve had a good season, Metz and are only a stones throw from the top half of the table, despite having been promoted from Ligue 2 last year. In the 3rd minute Thill’s set through on goal behind Goujon and despite Sohna’s covering run, the Cameroonian can’t catch him. Thill goes for goal but Vlad pulls off an excellent acrobatic save to tip the ball over the bar. 10 minutes later a free kick from Diakité is swung in from deep on the right wing. Monteil rises above his marker Celsiney, who coincidentally I really considered picking for my preliminary France squad but thought better of it as he’s untried on the international stage. Monteil heads the ball back across goal and Felipe Manoel pops up at the far post to tap it into the net. Manoel sprints off to celebrate but quickly stops when he sees the linesman’s flag raised. 0-0 it remains.

A few minutes later we have a chance of our own when McCarthy lays the ball off for our overlapping full back Doucouré. The Senegalese drifts in a surprisingly superb cross for a centre back and Andre tries to latch onto it, but is brought down by Monteil. The referee points to the spot, drawing another roar from the home fans. Captain Andre places the ball on the spot himself and converts excellently, lashing it down the middle to open the scoring.

In the 23rd minute my smiles grows Cheshire-ish once again, because Ferhat drills a cross in from the left, Foden lays it off and Andre sweeps his second goal into the net for 2-0. This really sparks Metz though, which is impressive but certainly inconvenient. Just 2 minutes later, Diakité sprints clear down the right wing, drives a cross into the centre and Manoel directs it at goal, forcing a fine fingertip save from Vladimir.

Before the half hour, Manoel beats Goujon for pace and gets in behind before forcing a double save from Vlad, who’s playing like a man possessed. The resulting corner is headed behind by Sohna, conceding another corner. This time, Diakité’s cross is flicked on by Monteil, headed away by Sohna, headed back in by Monteil and nodded into the net by Manoel to finish an enjoyable but disappointing game of head tennis. 1-2.

We’re lucky to make it in at half time still in possession of the lead, as Metz start to throw everything at us. In the 35th minute Diakité pulls Virgile Roux’s long pass out of the air and smashes a shot against the near post from a tight angle, then in stoppage time Aalillou finds Manoel on the edge of the box, who fizzes an effort against the inside of the same post. The ball rolls across the line but Goujon gets there first and makes the clearance. When the half time whistle is blown, my heart’s pumping furiously. Auxerre have managed 2 shots to Metz’s 10 so far and luckily scored them both.

I make a pretty predictable change at the break, dropping us to a 4-1-2-3 with Raf in the hole and bringing Fomba on to replace McCarthy as a box to box midfielder. We also go on the counter to try and cope with the pressure Metz are putting us under. It works in the early stages of the second half, although I do have to have a rethink when Sissako’s forced off with an arm injury after the hour. Joël Soumahoro comes on to replace him as a deep lying playmaker.

A late flurry from Metz has me pacing my technical area at near-breakneck speeds. A corner in the 86th minute looks like an easy one for our in-form goalkeeper to deal with, but he spills it and my heart leaps into my mouth. The ball falls to Betti, who shoots but Isaac Sohna throws his body in the line of fire to concede another corner. We make it unscathed all the way to the 93rd minute, before Manoel again receives the ball from Aalillou and this time zips a low shot into the bottom corner from 20 yards to equalise for the visitors. We actually get a late chance a minute later following a free kick, when Joël finds Doucouré in space on the edge of our opponents’ box, but he smashes his shot just wide of the far post. 2-2 it ends, but I would say Metz have earned a point at the very least. This, combined with the fact that Bordeaux drew against Stade Rennais anyway, means that I can’t really complain. A 6th place finish is fine by me.

200 3 8 post.png

200 3 9 sissako inj

The lap of honour takes longer than it usually would. I walk slowly, savouring every cheer and shout and occasional lewd gesture from the away fans. My mind keeps trying to wander back to my pre-match worries about stepping up and leaving this kind of appreciation and this kind of achievement behind, but I keep politely bringing it back to focus on the moment. This is after all what it’s all about. These fans. This feeling. This pride. This is the shit I live for.

Cette fois c’est au revoir Auxerre, mais ça a été un privilège.

200 4 1 curtain down

200 4 2 league

Euro 24 Part 1 >

The Race For The Europa League (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep199)

It’s been a strange sort of year really, hasn’t it. Well… I probably say that most years, but hear me out.

Start from the start with episode 1

< Mini-sode 198.5

My Short Stories WordPress

Six matches are all that remain before the curtain comes down on the 2023/24 season and my ambition in those six matches is unwavering: I want to get this club back into Europe. It’s been a strange sort of year really, hasn’t it. Well… I probably say that most years, but hear me out: I don’t think that I was overly ambitious in the Summer, hoping only for a safe, mid table finish and a cheeky win against either Monaco or PSG. In fact that probably was a little bit too ambitious especially in the case of Monaco, as they remain unbeaten in the league even at this late stage. They’ve only dropped points in 3 out of 31 matches for fucks sake. Anyway my point is that for the second time during my spell in Auxerre, my pre-season goals were way off. Here we are in the run in, having surpassed last season’s points tally some time ago, mathematically safe from relegation by a long way and fighting for Europe. Our fight has also just been made significantly easier as Monaco have won the Coupe de la Ligue, meaning that the side that finishes in 5th place in the league will enter the Europa League.

199 1 8 cdll review.png

You might think that this type of achievement would raise my stature, thereby increasing the quality of club who come knocking in the hopes of luring me away, but no. Ipswich and Guingamp are my interview opportunities this week. Joy.

199 1 1 ipswich int

199 1 7 guingamp int

There is some good news though in that after their excellent performances against Bordeaux before the break, Vladimir, Lamine Fomba and Nathan Andre are all selected in the Ligue 1 team of the week, with Andre also coming in third in the Player of the Month award. He really was rampant for a few games, so I’m hoping he’ll pick that form straight back up now that the international break’s over.

199 1 2 totw.png

Speaking of which, a quick shout out to those who’ve been off on their travels over the last couple of weeks: A fair few players have played for their nations but the highlights were probably Ferhat’s admittedly quiet France debut and Ibrahima Gaye’s and Isaac Sohna’s solid performances for Ivory Coast’s U20s and Cameroon respectively.

199 1 4 celsiney int199 1 5 ints199 1 5 ints 2199 1 5 ints 3

We get back on it today with a trip to Lille, who are lodged uncomfortably in the middle of a pack of clubs struggling to keep away from the relegation zone. They also have a really, really poor goal difference so I’m hoping for a fourth successive four-goal win.

199 1 12 preview

Mike Kakuba’s back from his second successive double hernia, but our defence has been decent of late so we shouldn’t need him right away. We’ll play that counter attacking variant of Meatloaf that’s worked well in a couple of recent away matches (And yes I’m still including the 0-3 loss against Sochaux). In terms of personnel, suspended pair Fomba and Sissako miss out and are replaced by Raf and Basauri in midfield, while Reynier comes in replacing McCarthy behind the striker. Aside from a changed midfield triangle though, we’re as we were. 16 year old midfielder Sylvain Laurent makes the bench for the first time due to a lack of options and a fair bit of potential.

199 1 9 kakuba fit

199 1 14 laurent

199 1 13 formations.png

We start brightly and in particular, Amine Reynier really looks like he means business. In the 3rd minute he dribbles from the left hand side of the half way line all the way through the Lille team to the edge of their box, but his shot isn’t the best and is held onto by Girard. Only a few minutes later though he plays a sly little pass onto the right for Celsiney to run onto. The France U20 full back whips a cross to the near post and who else but Nathan Andre arrives to direct the ball off his forehead and into the net.

The rest of the half is fairly standard, although we do dominate the ball. New France international Brahim Ferhat has a couple of shots graze the top of the bar after the half hour and then Reynier’s rewarded for his good start with a broken nose, but after a bit of treatment he’s ready to keep going.

About 10 minutes after the break I bring on Laurent for a debut, replacing Reynier so that he can go and clean the dried blood off his face. It may seem like a bit of a reckless move to throw a 16 year old on when we’re only 1-0 up, but from what I’ve seen in youth matches the boy knows how to defend. We switch to a 4-1-2-3 with Basauri dropping back into the hole and our full backs are told to stay back.

It’s hard to tell whether or not the change works as after that moment Lille offer exactly the same threat as they did before: Sweet FA. Their only notable contribution to a one-sided match is when the frustrated Ristovski goes in very stupidly on Ferhat with 2 feet and receives his marching orders deep into injury time. It’s not the 4-0 win I was looking for, but it’ll do.

199 1 15 post

199 2 4 pre match.png

The win takes us temporarily above Bordeaux into 5th place, but we’re quickly dropped back down when they win their late kick off match. It’s worth mentioning though that a 5 point gap has opened up between us, 7th placed Nantes who’ve played one more match and 8th placed Sochaux. Monaco meanwhile have won the league at a canter, completing an early double without losing a single match and shaming Pep’s Paris Saint-Germain, who have played an extra match themselves and still find themselves a whole 13 points behind the champions.

199 2 1 monaco double

Reynier’s broken nose should be healed up in time for our next match against Nice but his injury has left me wondering whether that could’ve been the match in which he started justifying his price tag had he remained intact. I feel like he’s still a real player for the future but I’d really like to see him put in a couple of good performances before the season ends.

199 2 2 reynier inj.png

But the attention remains for now on Ferhat. After admitting defeat in his chase of the inside forward a few months ago when I convinced him to sign a new long term contract, Real Madrid manager Rodolfo Borrell is back on Brahim’s trail. Rodolfo was in the stands in Lille and is apparently keen once again on bringing him to La Liga.

199 2 3 borrell spotted.png

But for now he’s our player and he’ll help us to continue our Europa League push. We jet back to Auxerre in time to welcome OGC Nice, who are in an almost identical league position to Lille, trying to stave off a relegation dog fight. In which case, I’ll expect an identical result.

199 2 5 preview.png

Meatloaf returns in full force today as we look to attack our guests and turn our winning streak from 3 to 4. Fomba and Sissako come straight back in at the expense of Reynier and Basauri, otherwise we’re unchanged.

199 2 6 formations.png

This time, it’s our opposition who come tearing out of the traps. In the 2nd minute, Wylan Cyprien chips the ball to Godefroy on the half way line, who volleys an incredible pinpoint pass to Bosetti on the edge of our box. Bosetti takes the ball down and half volleys it into the bottom corner. To be fair, great goal. A couple of minutes later, Foden’s corner is headed clear by Souquet but only as far as Fomba, who chests it down, dribbles into the box and shoots, but Cardinale catches it.

In the 13th minute we rue missing that chance as Nice press their advantage. A corner at the other end is swung in by Bonaventura, nodded on by Pléa and headed in by Fathi at the near post. It’s their 2nd shot on target and it’s 0-2. Oh dear.

I scream from the touchline to try and wake my team up, but to no response. Just before the half hour, the usually quite sturdy Mamadou Doucouré makes a horrendous mistake when he goes to collect a loose ball on the left, deep in our half. All he has to do is thump it upfield but he takes a bad touch and is robbed by Bosetti. With no other Auxerre defenders around, Bosetti can run the ball straight into our 6 yard box and tries to prod it past Vladimir, but the Brazilian pulls off a crucial save with his feet to keep our deficit at 2.

That does it. That’s what we needed. Spurred on by Vlad’s heroics, we pull a goal back within a minute when Nathan Andre slips a pass through for Phil Foden, who gets behind the defence, turns inside and toe pokes the ball into the far bottom corner of Cardinale’s goal.

At half time that goal feels like it’s made all the difference. If the score was still 0-2 I’d be giving a completely contrasting team talk, but as it stands I just tell my team that we’re still in it and encourage them to keep grafting to get us level. In the 48th minute, Sissako plays a fantastic pass into the left channel for Ferhat, who crosses in from the byline and Andre heads in the equaliser. I fucking love this team.

5 minutes or so later McCarthy comes on replacing Fomba as I look to go for the jugular and inject more creativity into midfield and less than a minute later we go close. Another fantastic ball onto the left, this time by Goujon, finds Ferhat again and this time he goes straight for goal, trying to catch out Cardinale. It might’ve worked but the shot’s just too high and drops onto the roof of the net.

With 20 minutes to play we put together a scintillating move in the final third and Andre gets the ball. He passes to Ferhat, who passes to McCarthy as the defenders are dragged around in a panic chasing the ball. McCarthy looks up and slots the ball into the box. Sissako makes the run… He’s clean through on goal… And he skews a shot wide. Not a dissimilar glaring miss to the one he made for France the other week.

Aidir comes on, but after a couple of extremely hopeful potshots from Nice that both end up nearer the corner flag than the goal, the match ends as a stalemate.

199 2 7 post.png

199 3 3 pre match.png

To be fair, from being on the brink of a 3 goal deficit after 28 minutes, I’ll take that result all day long. Sissako putting that chance away in the 70th minute would’ve been perfection, but at least we came back in the first place. Also, piss off, Rodolfo Borrell.

199 3 1 borrell spotted.png

The Players’ Goalkeeper of the Season shortlist is announced and soft touch that I am, I vote for Leo Gauthier to win it. After a very, very poor start to the season he and Sochaux have come back to have a solid campaign. I’m in no doubt that Monaco’s Sergio Rico will actually scoop the award though, because he’s kept 24 clean sheets in 34 matches, the fucking psychopath.

199 3 2 gk of the year 2199 3 2 gk of the year

Our draw against Nice has lost us precious ground in the race for the Europa League though, with Sochaux and Bordeaux both winning to move us closer to 7th place than 5th. I’m looking to correct that when we travel to St Etienne, who are just about within reach of us, in our penultimate away match of the season. They’re 11 points behind us with 12 to play for but that’s close enough to make me nervous. Let’s get back to winning ways.

199 3 4 preview.png

We bring the counter attacking mentality back and McCarthy comes into the starting lineup to replace Lamine Fomba from the start. Come on, boys.

199 3 5 formations.png

It’s a drab match. An extremely drab match. 15 minutes in, Christian Atsu lays the ball off for Tatarkov, who leathers it past our Brazilian goalkeeper to give the hosts the lead. After that… It’s just a really drab match. St Etienne never really come out of second gear, but they don’t need to. We’re still parked. We’re up on bricks. Someone came along during the night, stole our wheels, smashed a window and nicked our cassette deck and tasteful furry dice. I try and freshen things up, bringing on Reynier, then Bassani, then Aidir. I send us on the attack, I bellow instructions, but none of it reaps any kind of reward. In the 93rd minute, a long ball from a deep Peyrot free kick comes into our box and Sissako pushes Pavelka to the floor. The ref points to the spot, Pavelka converts the penalty himself into the top corner and the final whistle blows. It’s a drab, disappointing match.

199 3 6 post.png

It feels worryingly like we’re already on our holidays. That first half hour against Nice was the first clue, then that awful showing at St Etienne. 2 weeks ago I was full of hope as we wrestled with Bordeaux for 5th place, but now they sit 5 whole points above us, while we’re left to tussle with Sochaux instead. I’m disappointed, but when I get back into training it’ll become perfectly clear to everyone who needs clarification: The season is not over yet.

199 4 1 league.png

Meta-sode 199.5 >

Project: Revolution (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep198)

It’s my last chance to experiment ahead of the Euros in Italy.

Start from the start with episode 1

< Episode 197

My Short Stories WordPress

I’m quiet on the flight over to Lisboa, which historically can mean anything from “Auxerre are about to get relegated” to “I’ve lost my cats”. Either way my backroom staff know by now that the best course of action is to give me some space. To be honest though my reason for being quiet is merely that I’m deep in thought. This international break has the potential to be the most interesting in quite a while as it’s my last chance to experiment ahead of the Euros in Italy and I want to make the most of it. We’ll be playing two friendly matches and I’m obligated not to over-play certain players at the behest of their club sides, but the only footballers not at my disposal are Samuel Umtiti, who’s picked up a knock to his heel and Kylien Mbappé, who misses out with a hip injury but has already secured the first spot on the plane in the Summer.

I’m confident that I already have the three best French goalkeepers in my squad, but the real question is: Who starts? Who’s our number one? With respect to Alban Lafont, he’s third choice. I’ll be giving Gauthier and Areola chances to win a starting berth.

Goalkeepers: Leo Gauthier (FC Sochaux), Alphonse Areola (Swansea City), Alban Lafont (Stoke City)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

In defence my only real headache is that I’m probably only going to take two out of our three accomplished left backs to Italy and I’ve made the early decision that Lucas Digne is one of them. This gives me the opportunity to let the dependable Benjamin Mendy and the younger Theo Hernández fight it out amongst themselves for the other spot, so like Gauthier and Areola, they’ll both get a chance in these friendlies. We’ve had a nice bit of luck in the fact that Real Madrid chose to sign Dayot Upamecano from FC Porto in January for £48M, so there’s the potential for a nice partnership with Varane going forwards. Along with Raphaël, Dayot and Aymeric, I want to give Arsenal’s Yannick Clauss an opportunity. He’s had a good season in North London and I’ve had my scouts watching him closely since he starred in France U21’s Euros win last summer.

Defenders: Djibril Sidibé, Corentin Tolisso, Theo Hernández (All AS Monaco), Raphaël Varane, Dayot Upamecano (Both Real Madrid), Aymeric Laporte (Chelsea), Yannick Clauss (Arsenal), Benjamin Mendy (Atlético Madrid)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

I’ve already spoken about one of our biggest surprises for this squad – Brahim Ferhat’s earned his first foray into full international football and Sissako’s earned his return. Lucas Tousart is in again, fighting for one of the most competitive positions in the squad, while I also hand a call up to Panathinaikos’ Corentin Jean, who at 28 years old has never made a senior international appearance. A very productive season in Greece for the former Monaco left winger/ striker though has seen him score 21 goals, so he’s worth a look.

Midfielders: Adrien Rabiot, Tiémoué Bakayoko (Both AS Monaco), Abdoulaye Sissako, Brahim Ferhat (Both AJ Auxerre), Lucas Tousart (Club Brugge), Kingsley Coman, Paul Pogba (Both Manchester United), Thomas Lemar (Manchester City), Corentin Jean (Panathinaikos)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Up front there are no real surprises unless you count Jean and Ferhat, who could both feature in the position. Griezmann and Maupay are by far and away our best striking options after Kylien Mbappé, whose best position I’m still not quite certain of, while Hervin Ongenda offers decent backup.

Strikers: Antoine Griezmann (Atlético Madrid), Neal Maupay (FC Lorient), Hervin Ongenda (Standard Liège)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

197 2 5 squad decided

197 2 6 announced

Areola, Tolisso, Tousart, Pogba, Jean and Griezmann are all under instruction not to be given more than a half per game, so let’s see what we can put together for our first friendly: A reverse of the European International League 2023 Final away at Portugal.

198 1 6 preview.png

Although I’m fairly cautious of going out to attack Portugal away from home, we’ll stick with Project: Renaissance for this one as I’ll more than likely be sticking to that system throughout the upcoming tournament. Gauthier starts in net, Clauss makes his first appearance for me in a defence also containing Sidibé, Hernández and Laporte, who captains the team on his 50th appearance for France. Rabiot and Tousart are our battlers in midfield, while Coman, Ongenda and Lemar start behind debutant Jean.

198 1 7 formations.png

I’m not exactly bowled over, I have to say. It’s a quiet first half with Renato Sanches the only player to bring either set of fans to their feet with a pot shot from 25 yards. Leo Gauthier easily holds onto it. Tousart and Jean are especially disappointed when they make way at half time, having not really made much of an impact, but they can shout at their club managers for that substitution when they get back. Sissako and Griezmann take their places, with Pogba and my young debutant Brahim Ferhat also replacing Ongenda and Coman. Once again, the pride that courses through my veins as Brahim takes the field is marred slightly by the fact that I’m having to give him his international bow myself, but not by much.

It doesn’t take long in the second half for things to go downhill. Within 2 minutes of the restart a tidy move from the Portuguese is finished when Sousa plays a pinpoint pass into our box, where Sidibé’s allowed João Carvalho to slip past him and through on goal. Carvalho drives the ball low past Gauthier to give the hosts the lead.

10 minutes later they double it, this time after a long ball over the top of our defence by Guedes. Zé Gomes leaves Laporte for dead, runs through and slots the ball past Gauthier for 0-2. This seems as good a time as any to have a look at Project: Revolution, which has been gathering dust in my notebook ever since I created it following our defeat against the Netherlands some 18 months ago. Revolution is a simple, counter attacking 4-4-2 to be used on the rare occasion that Renaissance fails us. There’s really not an awful lot else to say about it. The change requires a shuffle of personnel, so Benjamin Mendy replaces Adrien Rabiot and slots in at left back while Theo takes the left wing. Ferhat will run his socks off alongside fellow striker Griezmann, which luckily I know I can count on him to do.

198 1 8 revolution

198 1 9 revolution inst

We nearly reap an immediate reward just 3 minutes later when Lemar receives the ball on the right wing, whips a cross into the box and Antoine Griezmann’s header is tipped against the bar at full stretch by Lopes. Notably, that’s our first real chance of the match. Unfortunately though my optimism doesn’t last very long. 5 minutes after the chance, Clauss is dragged out of position by Renato Sanches, who then plays a slick pass into the resulting space for Zé Gomes, who places Portugal’s third goal into the top corner from 8 yards.

Thomas Lemar takes it upon himself to single handedly try and drag us back from the brink of defeat in the last 20 minutes, first going close when he drives in from the right, plays a lovely one-two with Griezmann to get clear of the defence but then has a low driven shot saved well by Lopes and then when he wriggles to the edge of the box in injury time and has a go, but again the Portuguese keeper is equal to it. It’s been a tough match and perhaps a lesson learned, but I would venture to say that 0-3 is a flattering scoreline for the hosts.

198 1 10 post.png

198 2 6 pre match.png

Our next opponents are Bosnia, away from home. In case you were wondering, no. I did not arrange these friendly matches, nor did I pick the opposition. Bosnia struck me as a strange choice when the fixture was announced as we played them twice in the Euro 2024 qualifiers last year, but oh well.

198 2 7 preview.png

I’m making wholesale changes for this one in order to give everyone a look, although I am still sticking with Renaissance. Areola is in goal, guarded by Tolisso, Mendy and Real Madrid pair Varane and Upamecano. Sissako and Bakayoko are our central midfielders, while Griezmann, Pogba and Ferhat line up behind Maupay. Bosnia will set up to pack the centre of the pitch, so we’ll get our full backs bombing up and exploiting the wings, where they should have plenty of room.

198 2 8 formations.png

I’m quite puzzled… Shocked even. I expected us to resume normality shortly after kick off by opening the scoring, but it’s Bosnia that go closest after a tightly contested first 20 minutes. Bihorac gets goal-side of Varane and runs clean through, Areola comes out to narrow the angle and Bihorac smacks a shot against the bar from the edge of the box. Luckily, normality is actually resumed within a minute of the incident when Sissako lays the ball off for Griezmann on the edge of the area. Our vice captain hits a curling shot against the far post and Neal Maupay reacts fastest to knock in the rebound.

Just before the half hour the Auxerre boys link up well when Sissako plays a pass to Ferhat on the right hand side of the box and the full debutant drills a shot just wide of the near post. Before half time though, Bosnia rattle the woodwork again with an absolute rocket from Masic that comes out of nowhere, goes straight over Areola’s head and crashes back off the bar.

I make several changes once again at the break as we look to expand our quite disappointing and fortunate 1 goal lead: Lafont, Clauss, Laporte, Lemar and Jean all replace Areola, Tolisso, Upamecano, Pogba and Griezmann. Clauss will play at right back and Jean on the left wing, where they’re comfortable. The first good chance takes a further 15 minutes of football to create but it comes from a great Benjamin Mendy cross from deep on the left wing. The ball flies straight through to Abi Sissako, all on his own ten yards out, but he slices his volley wide of the far post. It’s disappointing from Abi, but I’ve grown to accept over the last few years that goals are a rare cherry on top of his game as oppose to a regular occurrence.

With half an hour to play, Maupay makes way and Coman comes on so that I can give Ferhat a run out up front. We very nearly double our lead just 5 minutes later too, when Jean releases Mendy down the left wing and this time he drives a vicious cross towards the near side of the 6 yard box. Thomas Lemar glances the ball against the post, Jurcic attempts to clear but only swipes the ball up in the air and then Kingsley Coman heads over from 6 yards out.

In the 75th minute, Clauss makes his way to the right touchline and drills a cross to the edge of the box, where Bakayoko meets the ball and smashes a shot against the unsuspecting legs of a defender. It comes back to Coman, who swings his foot at the rebound – And hits the post. How on Earth is this still 1-0? Elijazovic clears for a corner and Lemar runs over to take it. Take it he does, swinging the ball to the near post, where Aymeric Laporte rises to head it into the net. Finally.

198 2 9 post.png

I’m strangely… I don’t know… Unnerved, I suppose. This isn’t how I thought this break would go. The debutants haven’t really impressed me all that much. Clauss was alright, but Ferhat and Jean were quiet. I think the thing that’s really shaken me more than anything else is how much we’ve struggled to create chances. The Portugal match in particular was alarming. Project: Renaissance‘s not-so-secret achilles heel is that our defence can be easily got at by clever movement or quick counter attacks over the defence, but I accept that weakness because of how dominant we usually are and because of my faith in my squad to outscore our opponents. I’m probably over-thinking it, something that I know full well I shouldn’t do. It’s not as if we played our best side in either match, but still… Yeah, I’m pretty unnerved.

198 3 2 first goal

We’re not done yet though. Oh no. Although we’ve played both of our friendlies, we only need to wait a couple of days before the draw for the group stages of the Euros are announced. I can’t lie, my nerves go straight out of the window when Paolo Maldini and Gary Lineker start rummaging around and pulling out the names of each nation. It’s pure, unbridled excitement. This is when the Euros become real and tangible. This is when specific plans can start to be drawn up and when imaginations can begin to run wild.

I have to laugh when I realise that Georgia are in our group. Georgia, who continue to pay the price for thumping my Liechtenstein side back in the day, first by being demolished by an aggregate scoreline of 10-2 by France in last year’s Euro 2024 qualifiers and now this. Ranked 50th in the World, realistically Giorgi Kiplani’s men should be no match for us. I know I’m setting myself up to have this blown back in my face, but Georgia should be a guaranteed win.

198.5 3 2 georgia

Denmark follow shortly afterwards. Now this will be interesting. The Danes are full of big strong Nordish types but they also have some serious quality in the likes of Christian Eriksen, Yussuf Poulsen, Pierre-Emile Højbjerg and Andreas Christensen. Ranked 18th in the World, Anders Jensen’s Danes are not to be taken lightly.

198.5 3 3 denmark

The final nation to join France in Group E of Euro 2024 will be… Drum roll please…

Oh shit. Oh no. Oh shit.

It’s fucking England.

198.5 3 1 england

198.5 3 4 france

198.5 1 euros drawn

198.5 2 euro groups198.5 2 euro groups 2

198 3 1 duty ends

Mini-sode 198.5 >

Rampant (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep197)

Well played, Nathan.

Start from the start with episode 1

< Episode 196

My Short Stories WordPress

“… And another thing he did,” I fume, “Is that he booked Billy for no bloody reason! I mean why even bother playing out the entire ninety minutes? Why not give them a 0-3 win straight off the bat?” Bechkoura nods silently, his eyes glazed over and staring past me.

“Maybe it’s time to let it go now.” He mutters, for at least the fifteenth time this week.

“Maybe… He just annoys me though. I mean why even…”

“… Bother playing out the entire ninety minutes…” Bechkoura monotonously finishes my sentence for me. “I know, Boss. He was a shit ref, but we’re going to miss kick off at this rate.”

“Oh shit, you’re right.” I mutter, glancing at the changing room clock. We hurry out into the corridor, make our way through the tunnel and out onto the sideline. Today’s referee, who luckily is not Lionel Jaffredo, gives me an annoyed luck and then has a sharp blast on his whistle to get the game underway.

197 1 3 preview

AC Ajaccio, like Stade Brestois two weeks ago, are another side seriously threatened by relegation. After the debacle against Sochaux though I’m in no mood to throw them a rope as they struggle to beat the quicksand that is the Ligue 1 relegation zone. We’re lining up at the Stade François Coty with the same counter attacking variant of Project: Meatloaf that worked perfectly well in our 0-3 loss last week, with the only change being in midfield, where the suspended Lamine Fomba is replaced by Amine Reynier, who plays behind Nathan Andre while Fabien McCarthy drops back as a deep lying playmaker alongside Abi Sissako. I also tell Billy and Celsiney to be a bit more hesitant to get forward than they would usually be in our more attacking system.

197 1 4 formations

The first chance goes to the hosts after 22 minutes when Conforto cuts in from the right, dribbles across our back line and fires a shot towards the far top corner. Luckily Vlad’s equal to it and pulls off the save, spilling the ball initially but holding on at the second attempt. A few minutes later we win a free kick in a dangerous position; About 30 yards out on the left wing. McCarthy takes it, swinging a cross into the box but our movement is sloppy and the ball goes hurtling towards a crowd of no less than six Ajaccio players. If there’s one player I wouldn’t expect to try and win a header in this situation it’s Billy, but credit to the young Moroccan for leaping into the fray in an attempt to meet the cross and getting shoved to the floor by Diarra. The referee points to the spot and I’m pleased that it’s Billy that wins us the penalty, as it seems like a bit of justice for last week. Nathan Andre steps up confidently and slots the ball into the bottom left corner from 12 yards, sending Riffi Mandanda the wrong way for 1-0.

On the half hour Ajaccio come forwards semi-threateningly, but Celsiney wins the ball and gives it to Phil Foden. Big Phil plays a lovely give and go with Nathan Andre just inside the Ajaccio half and then receives the return pass with a fantastic first touch that takes him clear of Padovano. He runs to the edge of the box, chips the ball across for Brahim Ferhat, who gets goalside of Diarra and volleys in our second goal at the near post. Lovely stuff.

The rest of the half is dominated by the hosts though: First Vasseur plays a good ball past Celsiney to find Ohana in space inside our box. Ohana shoots but Vladimir makes a good low save to maintain our clean sheet. They do get the ball in the back of the net in the 36th minute when Kavcic lumps a free kick into the box from deep on the right wing, Padoan meets it on the far side and heads the ball back across goal for Vasseur to volley in from close range, but he was offside and the goal’s chalked off.

With a few minutes to go the hosts work the ball into our box with a quite brilliant passing move, eventually getting the ball to Diarra in space on the right, who crosses it low and finds Conforto, who finds the top corner of Vlad’s net from 8 yards. 1-2. I do not like the pressure we’ve been under for the last 10 minutes or so. In injury time, a route one pass from Mandanda comes into our half. Doucouré loses out to Ohana in the air, who heads the ball on into space for the goalscorer Conforto. He runs through on goal and shoots, but Vlad makes another good save to send us into half time with a narrow lead.

Taking into account the last quarter of an hour, I make a change at half time: Reynier makes way and Raf comes on as a holding man, which should make us more solid and free up Fabien McCarthy to get forward a bit. I also tell our full backs to sit back and defend to try and make us more difficult to break down.

The changes seem to work as the first 20 minutes of the second half are fairly quiet. Sissako picks up a back strain in the 63rd minute and is brought off as a precaution, with Gaizka Basauri coming on to replace him. A couple of minutes later though we so nearly go 3-1 up. Phil Foden chests down a pass from Andre and dances past two defenders before letting fly for the top corner, but is denied by an absolutely outstanding save from Riffi Mandanda, who acrobatically tips the ball over the bar.

A few minutes later the pressure is all back on Ajaccio. This time it’s Foden who releases Nathan Andre, who dribbles to the edge of the box and drags a shot just wide. A minute later though, Mamadou Doucouré wins the ball off one of their attackers and passes to Ferhat, who plays it inside for Andre. In a moment of pure class, Nathan’s first touch takes him past Padoan, his second takes him past Kumbulla and through on goal and then his third fizzes a shot past Mandanda into the far bottom corner of the goal. Take a bow, Nathan Andre. That was a hell of a goal. 3-1.

Ajaccio’s fight is well and truly knocked out of them by our third goal and the last 20 minutes is quiet, before we deliver the finishing blow in the 90th minute: Celsiney knocks a long ball down the right, Foden crosses it low and Nathan Andre’s shot hits the post, bounces off Mandanda and over the line to complete our striker’s hat trick. Not quite as pretty as his second goal, but he’s had a great game today. Well played, Nathan.

Screen Shot 2018-09-29 at 14.10.07.png

I give the striker the opportunity to have his own ovation from the fans as he’s replaced by Hicham Aidir in the second minute of injury time. 4-1 it finishes.

197 1 5 post

197 2 1 andre

197 2 11 pre match.png

It’s no surprise that Andre’s included in the Ligue 1 Team of the Week. To be honest what’s more surprising is that the likes of Foden, Ferhat and perhaps even Vladimir aren’t also given the nod. They all had great games there.

197 2 4 totw.png

Hicham Aidir picks up another injury in the build up to our final match before the international break. It’s a strained neck so he should still be alright for the bench and in all fairness there’s no chance I’d be dropping Nathan Andre for this one even if Aidir was fully fit.

197 2 10 aidir inj.png

Speaking of the international break, a fair few of our players will be joining their nations for their respective matches. Celsiney is with the France U20’s, Isaac Sohna is in the Cameroon squad, while Raf, Doucouré and McCarthy make the Madagascar, Senegal and South Africa squads respectively. I’m also including 2 of our players in my latest France squad: Abi Sissako is no stranger to international football at this point but the real surprise call up is for Brahim Ferhat. I’ve been really impressed with Brahim last season, this season and especially since Christmas so I want to give him a chance to impress in the last friendly matches before Euro 2024. I am tempted to include the likes of Fomba and Andre as well, but I’ve got other options available that are probably more deserving and as good as Andre was in our last match, it’s been a while since he’s turned in a performance like that.

197 2 9 called up.png

197 2 9 called up 2.png

Before Abdoulaye, Brahim and I go join up with the rest of the France squad though, we’ve got a home meeting with Girondins de Bordeaux, who after a poor start to the season are back near the top of the table where you’d expect them to be. I am slightly annoyed that our schedule seems to alternate between very winnable matches and very tough matches as I think that’s definitely contributed to our inability to build up a run of wins, but there’s nothing we can do but throw everything we’ve got at Ligue 1’s 5th placed club and hope that it pays off as well as it did against Ajaccio. Realistically, we aren’t catching Lyon or Lorient so I reckon our only lingering hope of qualifying for the Europa league hinges on beating Bordeaux and fighting for fifth place ourselves.

197 2 12 preview.png

So our classic attacking Project: Meatloaf is back, as is Lamine Fomba who replaces Reynier in midfield. It’s the same lineup that lost to Sochaux but as in the last match, Lionel Jaffredo is nowhere to be seen so we should at least have a fighting chance, especially if Nathan Andre, Phil Foden, Brahim Ferhat and co can pick up where they left off last week.

197 2 13 formations.png

Bloody hell. It takes us only 5 minutes to take the lead. A McCarthy corner comes in towards the near post, Fomba rises to nod the ball on into the centre and Ferhat’s there to celebrate his France call up by tucking the ball past Dimitrievski from 10 yards. 8 minutes later Ferhat’s really vindicating that call up. He plays a great pass over the defence for Andre to chase. The striker latches on, runs to the edge of the 6 yard box, forces a save with his initial effort but then smashes in the rebound for 2-0. The only chance the visitors have in an otherwise quiet first half is when Ben Osborn’s cross is turned against the post by Gnago’s shin, but we take a very healthy and well deserved 2 goal lead into the break.

We start the second half just as brightly as we started the first: Nathan Andre surges through the middle and then chips a lovely ball through for Foden, but the Englishman skews his volley wide. 5 minutes later though Andre finds Billy with a good ball onto the left wing. Billy plays it down the line for Ferhat, who squares it for Fomba on the penalty spot, who coolly slots in our third. Surely that’s game over?

Apparently not. With just under half an hour to play, Léo Santos finds Amath N’Diaye on the edge of our box, who has a disappointing amount of time to stop the ball, turn and toe poke it into the top right corner to pull a goal back. Just as in the last game, Raf comes on and will be the holding man in midfield while McCarthy makes way and we adopt a more standard mentality.

We quickly put any thoughts of a comeback to bed though when a route one ball from Vlad is nodded on by Ferhat on the left. Léo Santos gets a touch but is immediately robbed by Andre, who bursts into the box and slams the ball into the far top corner to put us 4-1 up. With the game now surely over, Basauri and Bassani get 17 minute run outs in place of Sissako and Foden and within 2 minutes the ball’s in the back of the net again. This time Ferhat plays it inside for Fomba, who’s 25 yards out to the left of goal. He plays a low ball across to the far side for Bassani, who tucks the ball in but turns to see the linesman’s raised flag. From what I can see it’s probably just about the correct decision.

Screen Shot 2018-09-29 at 14.20.48
Bassani (No31 in the bottom right) just about offside as Fomba plays the ball

A late flurry of activity from Bordeaux gives us a bit of a scare, first when a long range Cervi free kick is met by the head of Vida but Vlad manages to tip the ball against the post, but then with 5 minutes to go Amath plays the ball inside, Gnago holds it up and releases Osborn as the midfielder bursts past him, then Osborn blasts the ball past our keeper to make the final score 4-2.

197 2 14 post.png

In our last three wins we’ve scored twelve goals, which is quite absurd and actually makes me quite hopeful of a late charge up the league. We finally, finally have the momentum we’ve craved since the end of the winter break and I already regret choosing not to select the rampant Nathan Andre and the impressive Lamine Fomba in my France squad. It’s been a good couple of weeks really, hasn’t it.

197 3 1 league.png

Episode 198 >

Pathetic Fallacy (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep196)

Pathetic fallacy can rear it’s head all it wants, but we are not losing this fucking match.

Start from the start with episode 1

< Episode 195

My Short Stories WordPress

“It’s the most wonderful time of the year…” I sing, walking along the aisle towards Bechkoura as he shuffles uncomfortably in his seat, high up in the Stade l’Abbé-Deschamps. “…When the youth all come through and the best get accrued while the rest disappeeeeeear…” I sound fantastic. “…It’s the most -“

“Been rehearsing have we, Boss?”

“No Bechkoura.” Yes Bechkoura. “I just have a natural affinity with music.” It took me until 3 in the morning to think of the word ‘accrued’. Not my finest hour. My assistant eyes me sceptically.

“Who have we got then?” He asks. I open the folder that our head of youth development Boguslaw Pietrzak’s given to me and show him the best and brightest of this year’s crop of Auxerre graduates.

196 1 2 nuhu

Solomon Nuhu may be the answer to my prayers. Well, not my prayers as I’m still pretty sure that I won’t be here beyond the Summer, but the prayers of Auxerre in general. We’ve lacked a truly promising young goalkeeper for quite some time but the Ghanaian is definitely that. Great handling and reflexes as well as a brave and determined character despite being just 14 will see him do well in my opinion.

196 1 3 youth 2

Another Solomon is one to watch on the right of defence – Nigerian 14 year old Solomon Akinade, who puts me in mind of when Celsiney broke through. I actually think Celsiney might be pretty special and admittedly Akinade might not be at the same level, but he’s pretty quick, and fits my mould of determined, hard working team players, so he should do alright if he can pick up the technical side of his game.

196 1 4 youth 3

On the other side of defence is 15 year old Frenchman Jonas Perrier, who… Hmm. I mean I trust Boguslaw’s opinion that he has potential, but I’m not convinced. He’s very limited technically, quick-ish and very brave and well balanced, but I don’t know. He needs to make sure he puts in the work as he’s looked pretty casual in the academy by all accounts.

196 1 5 youth 4

Serigne Mboup on the other hand… My first impression is that he could be bloody brilliant. Originally Senegalese, the ball winning midfielder is 6’3″ at 14 years old, rounded technically, mentally and physically and also pretty much fits my mould. Serigne’s the one to watch for me.

196 1 1 youth intake.png

Seeing both sides lining up with Auxerre’s Project: Meatloaf, I brace myself for a match chock full of goals and action and early signs are that I won’t be disappointed. The grads go ahead in the 9th minute when central midfielder Jérémy Guillou’s corner is headed in at the near post by right winger and fellow 15 year old Georges Martins.

Before the half hour, young Martins turns provider too and I’m very impressed. It’s his corner this time that’s swung perfectly to the edge of the 6 yard box, leaving Serigne Mboup with an easy header for 2-0 to the kids.

A few minutes later it’s turning into a real thumping, which I don’t think I’ve seen from a group of grads before. This time 15 year old left winger Robin Fevre breaks down the left and squares for the academy’s 14 year old striker and obvious winner of my new “Best Academy Graduate Name of the Year”, or “BAGNY”, award. Vowel enthusiast Yaovi Ouro-Koura slots in his side’s third goal from 8 yards.

It takes until almost an hour in before the Under 18’s respond, but it’s a very good goal. Under pressure, the ball’s cleared to 16 year old striker Sylvain Magnin, who was recently the subject of bids from Anderlecht and Manchester City. Sylvain collects it in his own half and carries it upfield on the counter with an absolutely electric run. He finishes his contribution with an excellent cross from the left byline, Texan striker Lance Osborn cushions the ball down and attacking midfielder Jérémy Barthelemy half volleys it in for 1-3.

The thoughts of any kind of comeback are short lived though as the grads continue to be in full control. They put the cherry on top in injury time when U18 centre back Alain Chaput misses an interception and Ouro-Koura runs through on goal before bending the ball with the outside of his foot out of 15 year old keeper Alex Guerin’s reach. Those of you with an absurdly good memory for detail will remember that Alex had a similar last year when he was in the grad team. Poor lad.

196 1 9 youth match.png

Well that was a demolition, pure and simple. Very impressive stuff by the grads. Ouro-Koura picks up the Player of the Match award for his brace, while Brian Maire, Serigne Mboup and Georges Martins also particularly impressed. There’s certain players in the U18 squad though and I’m looking at the likes of Jordan Leroux, Sylvain Magnin and especially Lance Osborn, that have disappointed me, although the latter 2 did combine to score a very good goal.

196 2 1 candidates signed.png

As promising as Auxerre’s future looks, we’re having a pretty annoying time at the moment in terms of our first team. Not only are we still unable to get any sort of foothold in 2024, but now injuries are starting to creep in too. Hicham Aidir’s damaged his foot and will miss up to 2 weeks, Mike Kakuba’s celebrating shaking off his recent double hernia by suffering from a double hernia and Alessandro Bassani has come down with food poisoning. What sort of self-respecting French-Italian gives himself food poisoning?! He should be the finest chef the world’s ever seen!

I also hear from OGC Nice Chairman Constantin Sima about a possible interview but it’s a no from me. I’m still setting my sights higher and although Nice are more established in Ligue 1 than Auxerre, they don’t represent much of a step up in my opinion.

196 2 2 nice int.png

Stade Brestois are the next side to pay us a visit in the league and I know I’ve said this a fair bit recently, but we need to win this. They’re bottom of the league and the last time we played a team in that position, they beat us. Not again. This is a must-win. In fact I’d go as far as to say that if we don’t win this match, we can kiss our already ridiculously slim chances of European football goodbye.

196 2 5 preview

Project: Meatloaf is reinstated and I’m making a few changes to the lineup, including an entirely different back 5 from the one that shipped 5 goals against Lorient: Vladimir is back in net, Celsiney comes back in for Samba after completing his suspension, Sissako, Doucouré and Billy come in for Captiste, Sohna and Rogério who were probably our 3 worst players in the last match, with Goujon dropping back alongside Doucouré in defence and Sissako joining the midfield. The only other change is Nathan Andre, who replaces the injured Hicham Aidir and takes the captain’s armband. Hicham’s injury doesn’t exactly leave us light up front as I know Ferhat and Foden can both do a job if needed, but I want an option on the bench too so 16 year old striker Loïc Maire makes a first appearance in the matchday squad.

196 2 3 maire

I remember learning about something in school once called ‘Pathetic Fallacy’, which is where characters’ emotions in stories and films are reflected by nature and most commonly, by the weather. You know, if someone’s cheerful the sun’ll be out and the birds’ll be singing, but if someone’s dying or hatching an evil scheme you’ll see a storm raging and lightning flash across the background. I’m reminded of this literary concept when I step out from the tunnel to be greeted by a downpour of biblical proportions. The kind of rain that’s only enjoyable when it drums on the windows while you’re tucked cosily into bed… Or when you’re just generally inside and out of its way, I suppose. The kind of rain that pathetic fallacy dictates will be accompanied by sadness, by failure, or to give a more specific example, by a defeat. I’ll be keeping a close eye on our football and ready to make changes if the sodden pitch affects us, because pathetic fallacy can rear it’s head all it wants, but we are not losing this fucking match.

196 2 6 formations

We start well and it’s the lesser spotted Fabien McCarthy in the thick of the action, receiving the ball from Phil Foden and moving across the sodden turf into the acres of room that Brestois have left. He shoots with power but Strakosha holds onto it well. 10 minutes later though, a patient passing move ends with a low cross from Big Phil and and a Nathan Andre volley into the bottom corner.

Before the half hour we double our advantage: Lamine Fomba pings a good ball out to Celsiney on the right, who dinks a cross to McCarthy on the edge of the box. McCarthy drills it at goal, Strakosha saves but the ball squirms out of his grasp and hits the post, after which Brahim Ferhat reacts quickest and tucks in the rebound. 2-0 to l’AJA.

Shortly into the second half we put the game to bed and again McCarthy’s heavily involved. The playmaker swings a great pass out to Billy on the left, who gets to the byline and drills in a cross that deflects into the net off Ahec’s foot. 3-0.

A few minutes after that, it’s 4. Bloody hell, I didn’t expect it to be this easy to be honest. This time we play some great build up football with Andre, McCarthy and Fomba playing the ball about in little triangles through the midfield. Fomba then finds Foden on the edge of the area, who drops the shoulder, gets the ball onto his left foot and swings his boot at it, sending it arcing into the far top corner. Beautiful.

At 4-0 I think we can afford to experiment a bit, so I bring off Sissako and hand a debut to Loïc Maire, who’ll play alongside Nathan Andre in a 4-2-4. Brestois actually come into the game a bit after the change though, with Gori having a rare chance to shoot but sending the ball high and wide of Vlad’s goal. Reynier and Granger also come on shortly afterwards for Foden and Ferhat.

Brestois go even closer with 13 minutes to play when Gori again is released by Battocchio’s long ball over the top and this time he shoots against the bar, but after we drop back a bit in response he finally gets his consolation goal, rising above Billy to head in after Battocchio’s free kick is flicked on by own goal scorer Ahec.

As pleasing as today is though, there’s one man who surely won’t be happy. If Fabien McCarthy should’ve scored in the first half, he definitely should when his 20 yard free kick hits the inside of the post, bounces across the line and is cleared before the ball can sneak over the line. He looks gutted but I’m too pleased to share his disappointment. As the rain continues to poor, I glance up and aim a smug smile skywards. Pathetic Fallacy be damned.

196 2 7 post

196 3 2 pre match

Lamine Fomba and Phil Foden, arguably our top 2 performers in the Brestois win, are selected in the Team of the Week. That fourth goal on particular will stick in my mind. The build up play alone would’ve impressed me but combined with that sublime finish from Foden, I wouldn’t be surprised if the fans name it our goal of the season.

196 3 1 totw

A trip to Sochaux is next for Auxerre. This is surely our best opportunity yet this calendar year to build some of that momentum that I keep banging on about. Sochaux are 5 points but admittedly just 1 place below us in 8th, but if we show the same level of quality we did against Brestois, we should be fine. The only changes I’m making are to play in a more cautious counter attacking style and to restore Hicham Aidir to the bench. Come on, lads.

196 3 3 preview.png

It takes until the 53rd minute for anything of note to happen. It’s a tight, scrappy affair and neither side is keen to over commit in fear of being caught out on the break. When something does happen though, it’s troubling. Malele makes a run into the Auxerre penalty area and goes to ground with minimal encouragement from Billy. I even start to laugh at the poor attempt at a dive, but then I stop laughing when I see referee Lionel Jaffredo pointing to the penalty spot. Ianni despatches the spot kick beyond Vladimir but I am less than impressed. That was far too soft. Never a pen.

Screen Shot 2018-09-25 at 17.13.18

A few minutes later though a response looks inevitable: McCarthy receives the ball on the right wing, plays a low cross into the box for Foden, whose shot ricochets off Gnagnon’s shins and rolls to Ferhat at the far post, but he can only direct a shot into the side netting.

A minute later, Foden drives inside from the right and has a pop from 25 yards, but Leo Gauthier catches it comfortably. Reynier and Aidir come on for Ferhat and Andre to get some fresh legs in the final third and we go on the attack.

With 10 minutes to go we’re battering on the door but it just won’t open. And then something else happens: Fomba and Hvidt both jump for the same header, there is minimal contact again and Lionel Jaffredo shows Fomba his second yellow card of the day and his first red. OK. I think I see what we’re doing now, Lionel. Good one.

Screen Shot 2018-09-25 at 17.12.49.png

In the remaining ten minutes as Abi Sissako attempts to hold the midfield alone, we’re put to the sword by Sochaux’s numerical advantage. It’s twelve against ten. First Malele gets goal side of Goujon but is denied by a strong Vladimir save, but then he releases Facundo Ferreyra, who doubles the hosts’ advantage with a low, firm finish. To put the cherry on top in injury time, Ianni crosses from the left, Doucouré smashes a clearance against Ferreyra’s shins and the ball sneaks into the bottom corner of our net. 0-3. OK.

196 3 5 post.png

These may just be words of an angry man, a bitter man or a man who simply finds it difficult in this moment to graciously accept defeat, but fuck off Lionel Jaffredo, you attention starved dickhead. You pathetic little fallacy. You want the headlines? You want to be the talk of the tabloids in the morning? Well mission accomplished. Give this man a round of applause all to himself, everyone. Stop him in the street and ask for his shitty little autograph.

“There goes Lionel Jaffredo”, a starstruck passerby will say, “The only referee in WT Franjo’s 300-odd-match-long career that was so utterly incompetent, so laughably out of his depth and so desperate to have himself be the star name of his own little circus that he put himself on Franjo’s list, right alongside Miguel Borba, Ari Efstathiou, Zlatan Ibrahimovic, Peter Crouch and that beardy twat Olof Mellberg.”

196 3 6 league.png

Episode 197 >

Pobody’s Nerfect (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep195)

Let’s see if we can put in a performance that doesn’t make me want to viciously assault all of the water bottles in a ten metre radius like they’ve just taken the lift up to the first floor.

Start from the start with episode 1

< Episode 194

My Short Stories WordPress

I’m growing increasingly frustrated with our stuttering start to 2024. True, you can partially attribute our lack of momentum to the scheduling that’s put us against Monaco and PSG, but now that they’re out of the way I really, really want us to string a couple of wins together so that we can continue our outsider push for the Europa League spots. Bourg-en-Bresse have just touched down at the Auxerre – Branches Aerodome, so let’s see if we can put in a performance that doesn’t make me want to viciously assault all of the water bottles in a ten metre radius like they’ve just taken the lift up to the first floor.

195 1 2 preview.png

Meatloaf shall be served for this one of course. As I mentioned following the PSG “incident”, Project: “Sword” is now dead, but even if it wasn’t I’d still shun it in favour of wanting to throw everything we’ve got at Bourg via our attacking 4-2-3-1. Laurent Roussey’s men have really struggled this season and are languishing at the arse end of Ligue 1, which isn’t surprising when you consider how much of a shoestring they work on compared to the rest of the league, but combined with our comfortable seat in the top six it does mean that I’ve stopped viewing them so much as rivals. The friendly hatred that fuelled our previous meetings has been all but replaced by feelings of sympathy, but we’ll take no prisoners today even so. We’re going with pretty much the same team that beat Guingamp two weeks ago, with the exceptions of Loïc Goujon and Fabian McCarthy, who start ahead of Basauri and Reynier.

195 1 3 formations

With 25 minutes on the clock it’s already become clear that Bourg aren’t going to let us brute-force our way into their penalty box. They’re defending resiliently and effortlessly thwarting our wide players’ attempts to run the ball in, so I tell Ferhat and Foden to hang back a bit instead and wait for Aidir to break the lines before playing him in. I rub my hands together, await the soft embrace of my vindication blanket and hey presto – Within 4 minutes we very nearly go behind. It’s poor, really: A route one ball from Fabri is flicked on by Zinedine Ferhat, then Fernandez skips past Isaac Sohna and shoots. Lenogue parries the ball but can’t keep hold of it, nearly letting it squirm over the line, but luckily he smothers it at the second attempt. That has done my nerves no good at all, Xavier.

The game trundles lazily towards the break with both teams cancelling out the other in the manner that we’ve become a bit too used to in these meetings. In the 40th minute though, as Bourg commit men forwards in an attempt to attack, we strike. Goujon intercepts a long ball towards our box, heading the ball out to Lamine Fomba, who strides confidently into the visitors’ half. The Bourg defence looks panic-stricken and is suddenly full of gaps that Hicham Aidir is desperate to make use of. He makes a darting run off to the left of Hadzic and Fomba finds him with a great curling pass. Aidir runs though on goal, Fabri comes out to close down the angle but it’s too late: Hicham picks his spot and strokes us into the lead. Credit to Fomba there. I don’t praise him often enough for what he brings to us, but that was an assist of pure class.

We drop back just slightly for the second half, not wanting to go back out guns blazing and get caught on the counter as I’m still very wary of Bourg despite their league position. 10 minutes after the restart they nearly get the equaliser when their Ferhat plays a good ball into the box for Wesley Saïd, who flicks it on skilfully with the heel of his boot, finding Fernandez on the edge of the area. Fernandez drills a shot towards the bottom left corner but Lenogue dives down well to tip the ball behind.

We drop back even more, but the attack turns out to be the last real chance either side create. Reynier and Bassani both get run outs and we switch to a defensive 4-1-4-1 towards the end, but in the end we hold on fairly easily. 1-0 it finishes, but after all we’ve been through together, I do sort of hope that they go on to beat the drop. Best of luck, Bourg.

195 1 4 post

195 2 3 pre match.png

Speaking of relegation, I get a call from John Williams in the wake of the match. The Chairman, not the composer. He offers me the chance to join West Brom, who after a few good top-half finishes are looking to slip back into old habits and drop like a stone out of the top tier of English football. Former Vancouver Whitecaps boss Craig Dalrymple has been given the old heave-ho with the Baggies occupying 18th place in the Premier League, but as with most of the offers that seem to come my way from England I’d rather staple all of my money to various parts of my body and go for a naked nighttime stroll around Doncaster town centre. Cheers though, John.

195 2 1 wba int.png

Lorient are our next opponents and have put themselves in the difficult position of offering us some of that juicy aforementioned momentum, so I want to win this one at all costs. It won’t be as simple as it sounds though as thanks to the exploits of Neal Maupay and co and the utter disintegration of Olof Mellberg’s stupid Toulouse side, Lorient have well and truly established themselves as Ligue 1’s “best of the rest”. This is also an away match, so I’m uncomfortable with setting up with our usual almost gung-ho attitude, but at least Mike Kakuba’s back from injury, so you know… Huzzah.

195 2 2 kakuba fit

195 2 4 preview

After careful deliberation, I opt to have another look at Project: ToWin, albeit a modified 4-4-1-1 version. The only times we’ve used ToWin we so nearly beat Toulouse and then stemmed the substantial bleeding against PSG, so we know that it’s a fairly stable system. Saying that, we lost to Toulouse and PSG added a late fifth goal, but as a wise man once said, “pobody’s nerfect”. Young right back Celsiney has proved that he’s absolutely now one of the lads by getting suspended through an accumulation of yellow cards, so Issa Samba comes back in along with Rogério. I know what I said about there not being much point in playing our Portuguese loanee, but Billy’s been shaky of late so I think he’d benefit from a game or two out of the firing line. Bassani also comes in replacing Ferhat, who doesn’t really fit the 4-4-1-1 system we’re going for.

195 2 5 formations

Squeaky bum time starts early in this one. Before we’ve even reached the 5 minute mark, Novy plays a nice ball through for Khidrian on the right, who effortlessly loses Rogério and gets a shot in from point blank range, forcing a good save from Lenogue.

Unfortunately it isn’t long until they do take the lead though: In all fairness it’s a superb passing move that creates the chance and our team shape is obliterated as we’re dragged around chasing shadows, but eventually Captiste switches off and allows a Cafú pass to find the unmarked man in the box: Naturally it’s Neal Maupay of all people and naturally he slots the ball in for 0-1.

In response I tell Auxerre to stand off to make it trickier for Lorient’s passing to create such openings in the remaining hour of the match. Within 5 minutes of the opening goal though, I get that familiar sinking feeling that occurs when a match slips away from you. Khidrian’s low cross takes a deflection off Lamine Fomba and bounces oh so fortunately to captain Cafú on the edge of our box. He’s got a yard of space and takes full advantage by toe poking in Lorient’s second.

A few minutes later we have a chance of our own from a McCarthy corner that’s swung towards the far post. Fomba cushions the ball down with his head and Phil Foden tries to strike the ball on the volley, but he doesn’t connect well and his weak effort is easily caught by Delestrain. Just before half time another great passing move ends with Coralli sliding a ball through for Novy, who finds the net to make it 0-3. Once again the game’s over before we’ve even reached half time and once again gaining momentum seems about as realistic a prospect as finding Bigfoot, the Loch Ness Monster and the Easter Bunny having a tea party in the Sunken City of Atlantis. Or Everton winning the Premier League.

At half time I shrug my shoulders, bring Reynier on for Bassani and we switch to Meatloaf. I just don’t care any more. Our goal difference has taken such a battering in recent weeks that I’d rather risk losing 0-5 again if it gives us a chance of clawing back a point. Attack, attack, attack, cross our fingers and attack some more. That’s our plan for the second half.

To be fair, we start the second half well. Within a few minutes we go close when Samba swings in a good cross from the right, but Reynier can’t control the ball properly and a scramble breaks out in the Lorient box resulting in Aidir poking a shot at goal that deflects just wide off Barry’s legs. Normalcy is shortly resumed though when Khidrian absolutely leaves Rogério for dead on the right wing, speeds to the byline, pulls a cross back and Maupay slots in his side’s fourth. Enough is quite enough from Rogério. Doucouré comes on in his place while Joël replaces the anonymous McCarthy.

The game quietens down a bit after that but in the last ten minutes we start to really threaten: Aidir holds the ball off and lays it off to Joël, who sees Reynier breaking in from the left wing and plays him in behind the defence. Reynier hits a shot towards the near post but a good reflex save from Delestrain denies him his first Auxerre goal. A minute later Amine redeems himself though when he gets clear down the left wing and pulls the ball back for Hicham Aidir, who tucks in what must surely be a consolation goal from 6 yards.

Or is it? In the 88th minute Samba swings another great cross towards the far post and Reynier leaps to smash a header against the bar. The ball bounces down in front of goal and chaos ensues, with clearances smashing against legs and bodies flying in from everywhere in an attempt to either scramble the ball over the line or scramble it away. Eventually Delestrain manages to tip the ball against the post and Barry comes in to try and hoof it clear, but only succeeds in putting it into his own net. 2-4.

Straight from kick off, we’re cut open by a superb diagonal ball from João Pedro. Di Francesco latches onto it on the left, squares the ball for Maupay and the rampant Frenchman completes his hat trick. 2-5. Well never fucking mind then.

In the dying seconds Reynier chips a pass through to find Aidir, who turns the ball into the net, but the man who took what turns out to be the last kick of the game is adjudged to be offside, so 2-5 it stays.

195 2 6 post

It’s another one of them. I think we performed pretty well and I definitely think the scoreline flatters Lorient, but they were absolutely ruthless with their chances and we were not. Credit to most of the Auxerre team for not letting their heads drop after we looked completely down and out, but at the end of the day the better team’s won, we’re empty handed again and I’m left paying out of my own pocket for the 7 poor water bottles that were in the wrong ten metre radius at the wrong time. Cocking hell.

195 3 1 league

Episode 196 >

Unstoppable (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep194)

So here it is: Probably my last chance to scalp one of the big clubs with Auxerre.

Start from the start with episode 1

< Episode 193

My Short Stories WordPress

So that’s that then, isn’t it. There will be no cup run for Auxerre this season. There will be no scalp of AS Monaco. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still more than happy with our league position, but it’s slightly annoying that one by one, my pre-season ambitions are falling by the wayside. There are still a couple of things to go for though: As weird as it sounds, the Europa League is very much within our reach and we can also still scalp Pep Guardiola’s Paris Saint-Germain. If we’re to pull either of those off we need to start building up some kind of momentum. The PSG match is only a week away which doesn’t give us much time, but we can get ourselves ready by hammering Guingamp at our place.

194 1 2 preview

We’ll be ditching Project: ToWin because that was specific for the Toulouse match and bringing back the much used and much loved Project: Meatloaf, which will give us the best chance of tearing our opposition apart with quick, attacking football. I’m making some personnel changes too as I was less than pleased with Mamadou Doucouré’s and Rogério’s performances, while Bassani has no place in our 4-2-3-1 unless I bench Phil Foden, which isn’t really happening, so he’s dropped too. Captiste and Billy are reinstated into defence, while Amine Reynier gets his first Auxerre start and will play behind Aidir. I reckon this is the perfect match in which to give Amine the opportunity to get up and running for the club, so let’s see what he’s got.

194 1 3 formations

As much as today seems like a good opportunity to get 3 points on the board, sometimes you’ve just got to shrug and accept that your luck just isn’t in. I’m slightly disappointed when Gaizka Basauri picks up a yellow card after just 75 seconds for over-eagerly going through Zlicic from behind, but I’m just borderline impressed when he picks up a second just 2 minutes later. 3 minutes and 30 seconds into what I’ve been looking forward to as a winnable game, Basauri pushes Krastev as he goes for a header and sees red. What a start. I’d say Gaizka’s going for an early bath, but he’s not even had chance to get a sweat on yet so there’s not much point. Silly lad.

Unfortunately, I have to shuffle things around slightly to deal with our numerical disadvantage and that means that Reynier drops back alongside Fomba. I was looking forward to seeing what he can do from the start behind the striker, but it looks like that particular experiment will have to wait. Still, he still has license to get forward when Fomba hangs back and covers for him.

Even more unfortunately, after half an hour we go behind to a well worked Guingamp move, ending with Krastev squaring the ball for Pavlovic on the edge of our 6 yard box. The striker has a yard of space on his marker Isaac Sohna and has plenty of time to turn and nonchalantly place the ball into the bottom corner.

Straight from kick off, Guingamp come forward in search of a second, but luckily Celsiney shows great determination to chase down Zlicic and win the ball. The full back plays it to Hicham Aidir, who releases Ferhat with a good ball into the channel and gets himself to the edge of the box for the return ball. Ferhat plays it back and Aidir sends a shot rocketing into the top left corner to equalise. That’s what I like to see! We pick our moments sometimes, but there’s definitely some fucking fight in this team.

The score remains 1-1 when the teams trudge in for the half time break and I’m going to shuffle things a bit more. Fomba and Foden have looked leggy towards the end of the first half and so Sissako and Bassani are coming on to replace them. The introduction of Sissako also has the benefit of him being more suited to the defensive holding man role that Lamine’s had to pick up since Basauri’s sending off. We’ll use pace and fresh legs of Bassani by playing a bit more direct and into space, attacking with more pace and running at Guingamp’s defence. Our front three plus Reynier playing in this way should really strike fear into a middle-of-the-road Ligue 1 team like Guingamp.

It takes less than 3 minutes of the second half for us to reap the benefits of our tactical changes. Even better, it’s Amine Reynier that starts the attack that leads to our second goal, spraying a fantastic pass onto the left wing for Billy to chase after. The Moroccan takes on his man and crosses, Vatãjelu heads clear but only as far as Brahim Ferhat, who gets his head over the ball and smashes a volley into the bottom corner. The 10 man turnaround is complete. Now let’s bloody hold onto this lead.

The playing field is levelled in the 57th minute when Aidir receives the ball just inside our half and has a chance to break, as Guingamp have committed too many men forward. Centre back Lien, already on a booking, sees this and panics, grabbing our striker by the arm and dragging him to the floor. It’s a professional foul, a second booking and the second red card of the match. Suddenly we’re looking pretty bloody comfortable. Guingamp manager Antoine Kombouaré responds to this by changing things around a bit to a narrow 4-4-1 diamond, so naturally we’ll try and capitalise by focussing our play down the wings, where there should now be plenty of space in which to work.

For a while, things are comfortable. Very comfortable. 70 minutes on the clock, then 75, then 80, then 85. Still comfortable. Still winning. And then in a moment of chaos, Djuricic manages to slide a pass into our box, where I’m horrified to realise that Captiste is marking 2 attackers, while Isaac Sohna stands picking his nose in the corner. There’s nothing our captain can do. Krastev breaks away from him, turns and blasts the ball past Lenogue and into the net. 2-2. 2024 is taking the fucking piss.

But you can never underestimate a team that’s got some fight in them. Guingamp are certainly that. They must be to score such a late equaliser. But as I’ve mentioned, we are too. Specifically, young Celsiney has got some fight in him. The 17 year old Brazilian-born right back, who’s really starting to make a serious case for ousting Issa Samba on a permanent basis, picks up the ball on the right wing in the 89th minute and drives at the defence. He takes on Walter… He takes on Vatãjelu… He curls in a beauty of a cross, right into the 6 yard box… And Hicham Aidir lets it bounce before blasting in the winning goal from close range. Heroes.

Goujon makes a late appearance in place of Reynier, helping us to sure things up as we park the bus through injury time. It works. We went a long way round to get there, but the final score is 3-2 to AJ Auxerre, who move back up to 5th in Ligue 1. I think we can be pretty pleased with this one.

194 1 4 post.png

194 2 4 pre match.png

For his brace, Hicham Aidir gets a spot in the Ligue 1 Team of the Week. I’ve certainly talked about how pleased I am with Hicham at times this season, but it’s worth repeating. The lad cannot be stopped. I genuinely really feared for him after his horrible 2022/23 season and seriously questioned whether he had it in him to perform at this level, but those 2 goals against Guingamp were his 14th and 15th of the season. He’s proved himself in the South African Premier Soccer League, he’s proved himself in Ligue 2 and now, off the back of a broken leg for fucks sake, he’s proved himself in Ligue 1. Hicham Aidir, I have decided, can be as good as he wants to be. He is a Moroccan monster and he is fucking unstoppable.

194 2 3 totw.png

Fabien McCarthy on the other hand is unstartable. Is that a word? Who cares. The South African playmaker comes knock-knock-knocking on Franjo’s door a couple of days after the Guingamp match and asks me about the possibility of playing more football. It’s a fair request as after he started the season with some questionable performances that admittedly included some moments of pure magic, he’s not featured in quite a while. After some consideration, I agree to give him a run of games. He won’t be needed against PSG though.

194 2 1 mccarthy unh

194 2 2 more footy

So here it is: Probably my last chance to scalp one of the big clubs with Auxerre. Our combined record against Monaco and PSG has been abysmal and the best we’ve done is pick up a point against Pep’s men in that 1-1 draw last season thanks to a Lamine Fomba equaliser and a large slice of luck. We’ll need an even larger slice today if we’re to finally pick up all 3 points against them away from home.

194 2 5 preview.png

I’m bringing back Project: Sword, but I feel like this really is the last chance for the system. After Monaco demolished us in what was designed to be a defensively solid set up, I’m seriously losing faith in it. Hopefully we’ll fare better today. Basauri will obviously miss out through suspension and I’m also dropping Reynier and Ferhat as there’s not really a place for them in Sword. Doucouré comes back in and will join Isaac Sohna in defence while Captiste moves up as the holding man, where he’s been training for about 18 months and so should do a job. He’ll play alongside Loïc Goujon, who also comes into the team with Abi Sissako.

194 2 6 formations.png

I hate everything. 1 minute and 3 seconds it takes them. 1 minute and 3 seconds. I spent longer brushing my teeth this morning than we’ve managed to keep the score at 0-0. It’s a simple goal too: Renan Henrique gets away down the right wing and whips a cross in for young striker Manuel Bueno, who stoops to nod the ball past Lenogue at his near post. 0-1. 10 minutes later it’s 2. Sissako makes a great slide tackle on Diawara on the edge of our box, but PSG’s number 10 Cvitanovic gathers the loose ball and blasts it goalwards from 20 yards. The trajectory of the ball is altered massively when it slaps off Isaac Sohna’s thigh, sending it into the top right corner. Own goal. 0-2.

By the quarter of an hour mark I start to think that my pre-match optimism of a scalp may once again have been misplaced. Renan Henrique bombs down the right wing again, floats a cross to the back stick, Kean rises above Sohna and heads the ball off the post, after which it hits Lenogue and rolls torturously slowly over the line. 0-3.

To Auxerre’s credit, we last 20 minutes before the next truckload of misery is piled on. This time it’s Lamine Fomba’s slide tackle on Ruben Neves that knocks the ball perfectly to Bueno on the penalty spot. The Spaniard takes a touch and rolls it into the corner for 0-4 and I’d very much like today to be over now. I do ask the fourth official if there’s any chance of an early full time whistle, but he just grins and apologises, so I suppose I’m going to have to make some changes. Project: Sword is dead, so we swap to Project: ToWin as I think our only option now is to try and keep the scoreline as low as possible. I also make a 35th minute double substitution, bringing off Captiste and Fomba and replacing them with Ferhat and Reynier.

Ironic cheers come from the away end in first half injury time when Bueno finds himself through on goal but has his shot tipped acrobatically over the bar by Xavier Lenogue, which may actually be the first save he’s made today. The second half is much quieter than the first though, which I put down to a combination of our tactical change and probably a fair amount of pity from Pep. We go on the counter, then Andre comes on for a 15 minute run out, taking the captain’s armband from Aidir. But then with 5 minutes to go, the final nail is hammered into our coffin with a carbon copy of PSG’s first goal: Henrique’s cross, Bueno’s header to complete the hat trick. They’ve both been excellent today and if I’d had the luxury of being a neutral observer somewhere far, far away, I might even have enjoyed their performances.

As it stands though I am WT Franjo, manager of Association de la Jeunesse Auxerroise and recipient of a shameful, painful battering in Paris.

194 2 7 post

194 2 8 buena

194 3 1 league

Episode 195 >

The Best Beard In Birmingham (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep193)

You want to bore us to death, Mellberg? Fine by me. Let’s all sit back and watch paint dry together.

Start from the start with episode 1

< Episode 192

Newest Story – “Help”

Good riddance to this transfer window, that’s what I say. It’s absolutely done my head in. We see a late flurry of bids come in for one player in particular – Manchester City and Anderlecht make 2 lowball bids each for young striker Sylvain Magnin. He could be an a good player for Auxerre in the future though so I reject their advances, after which Anderlecht turn their attention to Jordan Leroux. Still no.

We also get a call from our good friends at Eupen, who have decided that they need a replacement for playmaker Joël Soumahoro and that the replacement should be… Our holding man Raf. I’m not sure I follow their logic, but I want to keep Raf around for numbers anyway. Sorry lads.

193 1 3 raf bid.png

The good news on deadline day is that a permanent Summer transfer for our loanee left back Rogério is confirmed. The bad news is that it isn’t us that confirm it, but rather our Ligue 1 rivals Nantes. Well this is awkward. If he really, really impresses me in the next couple of games I’ll consider playing him over Billy for the remainder of the season, but otherwise I’ve now got no reason at all to give him any first team football. Bit annoying really.

193 1 5 rogerio agrees with nantes

193 1 9 window closed

193 1 10 window roundup

Still, at least that’s the window out of the way so now we can get back to our abysmal start to league football in 2024. Today we travel to SC Bastia, who’ve been really quite impressive since their promotion, currently sitting in 14th place, just a stone’s throw from the top half and who we thumped 3-1 at the Stade Abbé-Deschamps.

193 1 13 preview.png

The only change to our team from what was quite an unfortunate loss against Toulouse is Lamine Fomba, who comes in replacing the suspended Abi Sissako. I’m willing to look past Vladimir’s mistake for the second goal and give him another chance, but I’ll be watching Rogério like a hawk. He really does have to impress today.

193 1 14 formations.png

To say that we get off to a flying start would be a slight overstatement, because within 3 minutes we’re 0-1 down. My God, are we suffering from the worst collective post-Christmas hangover in history or something? What is happening to this team?! Negre sprints down the right wing and maybe I’m biased by recent events but he’s chased by Loïc Goujon seemingly because Rogério can’t be arsed. He gets to the byline, chips a low cross in and Marcus Thuram smashes in the opener.

Thankfully we respond quickly and it pleases me to see that the move that leads to the equaliser starts when Rogério heads clear from a dangerous cross. Nathan Andre then releases Foden down the wing, who eventually cuts inside and tees up Ferhat on the edge of the box, who toe pokes the ball into the bottom corner. That’s better. I encourage the team to play on the counter as that particular counter attack was very pleasing.

Amine Reynier once again replaces Andre when we reach half time as I continue to slowly introduce him into Ligue 1 and within 10 minutes of the restart, we take the lead. Ferhat the goalscorer powers down the left wing before passing inside to Aidir, who has the choice of either the new boy Reynier or Phil Foden to slip in behind the defence as they both make excellent runs either side of him. He opts for the tried and tested latter and I’ve no complaints as Big Phil places the ball into the top corner from 12 yards.

I make another change after that to try and protect our lead: Basauri replaces Hicham Aidir and moves in front of our defence in a 4-1-2-3, while Reynier moves onto the left and Ferhat gets a crack at the lone striker role, where he’ll sit deep and collect the ball before making more of those surging runs. The change nearly pays off within minutes in an entirely unexpected way when Basauri smacks a free kick against the underside of the bar and then with 22 minutes to go, Ferhat also rattles the woodwork when his 20 yard curler comes back off the angle.

Of course, hitting the woodwork twice in quick succession while holding a single goal lead just screams “Danger” for me, so I’m pleased that we manage to hold onto the lead for the remainder of the match. After a shaky start, we’ve come away with a decent win. Rogério is impressive as is Phil Foden, but I always love to see Player of the Match Brahim Ferhat steal the show.

193 1 15 post

193 2 7 pre match

It’s easy at times to get caught up in the here and now of football. In the here and now, despite that win, we’ve slipped a bit in the league and that’s disappointing, but the fact that we’ve now equalled our points tally of 37 from last season with 14 matches left to play gives me some much needed perspective. We’ve done fucking excellently this year. One thing that isn’t happening in the here and now though is a relocation to Norfolk to follow in Mike Bassett’s footsteps by taking the Norwich job. No thanks.

193 2 3 norwich int.png

After picking ourselves up from the loss against Toulouse and dusting ourselves off, what better way could there be to kick on than playing Toulouse again in the French Cup 10th round? Don’t worry, I’m not still annoyed about that loss. It happens and we were unlucky, so fine. Interestingly this is a repeat of last year’s Coupe de la Ligue Semi Final, when our clubs were both having dramatically different seasons.

193 2 8 preview

193 2 6 more build up193 2 6 more build up 2

I’m making quite drastic changes, including the debut of a brand new system named after it’s purpose – Project: ToWin. As oppose to Toulouse, or ToLose. Clever, isn’t it? … Suit yourself. Project: ToWin is a defensive 4-4-2 that’s going to allow us to beat our hosts at their own game. You want to bore us to death, Mellberg? Fine by me. Let’s all sit back and watch paint dry together. A 0-0 draw and all those tired legs dragging themselves through 30 minutes of extra time could really kick your survival hopes squarely in the plums, but let’s do it.

193 2 1 project towin

193 2 2 project towin inst

Goujon’s suspended again of course and Nathan Andre’s dropped in the name of team shape, while Gaizka Basauri and Alessandro Bassani come in to replace them. Ferhat starts with Aidir up top and Xavier Lenogue is restored between the sticks as I’ve not been bowled over by Vlad. Hopefully our new approach should nullify the one-trick pony that is Toulouse from performing their one trick, which is to say it’ll stop them from soaking up pressure and then hitting us on the break with headache-inducing consistency and water-bottle-kick-inducing ruthlessness. Project: ToWin will make a mere pony of Mellberg’s purple cronies and force them to come out and play, after which we’ll win the ball with our energetic harrying and hit them on the break with our direct passes into space. They shall taste their own foul medicine and burn off all the tastebuds from their tongues with it’s bitterness, while I bask in the glorious and unquestionable glow of victory!

On second thoughts, I might still be a bit annoyed about that loss.

193 2 9 formations.png

Well would you look at that. Half time and neither side has done a bloody thing. Not a bloody thing. Former Best Beard in Birmingham nominee Olof Mellberg is used to this situation of course, having dedicated his entire stint in France so far to working out how to prevent football from being played over the course of a match, but I’m uncomfortable. I feel dirty. I’m not above playing for the draw if you’re Höllviken or Katowice, but this isn’t us. Not Auxerre.

5 minutes into the second half, something does happen. Olof panics. He throws his usual plan out of the window as I watch on, grinning with near orgasmic levels of smug satisfaction and reaches shakily for a flat 4-3-3 system. Finally. Finally Toulouse are coming out to play. In the following few seconds I construct a reply in my mind. We’ll bring out Project: Sword to deal with the numbers they now have in the middle and we’ll get our fullbacks bombing up the wings. Sissako and McCarthy are both told to warm up, but are then quickly told to sit back down. Because something else happens.

Hicham Aidir picks the ball up 25 yards from goal and lays it off for young Basauri in midfield, who swings a beautiful pass onto the left for Bassani. The French-Italian winger’s left in acres of space after his marker makes the bizarre choice to follow Aidir into the box, but he then courageously doubles down on his mistake by allowing Bassani’s low cross to reach our Moroccan centre forward, who clips a shot into the corner. Beautiful. The pass from Basauri, the movement from Bassani, the shot from Hicham and the tears rolling down Olof Mellberg’s face and into that nest on his chin: The tears of a man who has blinked first and has paid the price. It’s all just so beautiful.

Alas, my elation doesn’t last too long. 15 minutes after the opening goal, Toulouse have gone completely the other way from their usual tactic of turtling me into an early boredom-related grave and are throwing the kitchen sink at us. One particular patient move around a packed Auxerre penalty area ends with Diallo slipping a pass through for Ivanovic, who has his ankles clipped by Mamadou Doucouré. My thought of “At least LeGod’s in net” proves fleeting as Ramírez steps up from 12 yards and buries his effort into the bottom right, just out of our keeper’s reach.

A few minutes down the line, the turnaround is complete. Again. Of fucking course. Diallo swings a deep corner to the far post, Ferhat forgets what marking is and Dumortier rises all on his own to head the ball straight at Lenogue, who flaps it into the net. I despair. Billy, Reynier and Andre all come on as I desperately roll the dice and we attack Toulouse for the last 20 minutes, but no. It’s over. They’ve done us again.

193 2 10 post.png

I want to scream or fight something. I want to fight Olof Mellberg. In fact no, he’d crush me. I cannot stand him. I cannot stand him and I cannot stand his shitty little club. When they’re good, they beat us. When they’re awful, they beat us. When we batter them, they beat us. When the tides rise and when the tides fall, they beat us and beat us and beat us again. Fuck you, Mellberg! Fuck you, Toulouse! I swear on the knees of my somewhat prolific striker Hicham Aidir, this is not over! The Pink City shall feel my wrath yet!

193 3 2 defeat

193 3 1 league

Episode 194 >

Let’s Get Scalping (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep192)

I really, really want to win.

Start from the start with episode 1

< Episode 191

Latest short story – “Walt Awakens”

And a poem – “The Perks Of Being Human”

Newest Story – “Help”

I really want to beat Monaco. They ruined what could have been a quite flawless start to Auxerre’s season. If you cast your mind back, we won 5 of our first 10 matches in the 2023/24 season. We drew 3 more. The other 2 we lost against Paris Saint-Germain and Monaco. It still annoys me 5 months later. Unless we go deep in the French Cup, this will most likely be my last meeting with Monaco and I really, really want to win. I want to realise my pre-season ambition of scalping one of the big boys. We face PSG next month and I want to beat them too, but right now I just want to be able to walk away from Ettori Park with 3 points in my pocket.

192 1 2 preview.png

The rest of Ligue 1 restarted their season yesterday so we are perhaps temporarily down to 7th in the league. We can move back up to 5th if we win this game in hand though. We’ll stick with the plan and play Project: Sword with pretty much the same starting XI that drew with Legia Warsaw, except I did overlook the fact that Loïc Goujon’s still suspended, so Fomba has to come in in his place. Neither of our new signings make the squad but Joël does get a spot on the bench on his return from Belgium. We also get a late boost with the news that Kylian Mbappé will miss the match with a dislocated jaw, although his quite brilliant compatriots Djibril Sidibé, Corentin Tolisso and Adrien Rabiot all start. They don’t scare me… I don’t think. Let’s get scalping.

192 1 3 formations.png

We’re under the cosh straight away. With just 10 minutes on the clock, Bernardo Silva squares the ball for Rabiot 25 yards out and he has all kinds of space. He takes a couple of touches, breezes past Abi Sissako and sends a rocket of a shot into the top left corner. 0-1. We try and get forward from kick off but lose the ball almost instantly as Billy’s wayward pass is cut out. Silva sprays the ball out to Chiesa on the right, who keeps the Moroccan fullback at arms length as he dribbles down the wing, then drills a cross in so that Paco Alcácer can finish at the near post. 0-2. Oh dear. Oh no.

The closest we get to pulling one back in quite a galling first half is Phil Foden’s weak 30 yard pot shot that bobbles wide. Within 5 minutes of the resulting goal kick, Sidibé’s cross is headed away by Sohna, the ball’s taken down on the edge of the box by Silva and rolled ruthlessly into the bottom corner to effectively put the game to bed. At half time the score is deservedly 0-3. They could have a fourth within 2 minutes of the restart. That man Silva whips a corner straight to Chiesa, 30 yards from goal. The Italian dribbles past Sohna but shoots over the bar. He should do better.

We go out for the second half, tweaked slightly as I want us closing the opposition down more. The change is in vain though and just after the hour, we’re 0-4 down and we’re quite finished. Mbaye Niang chips the ball to Gil Dias 25 yards from our goal, he shoots, the ball smacks off Samba’s thigh and wrong-foots Lenogue on it’s way into the net. Own goal and game over but still 27 minutes to suffer through. Hooray.

A few minutes later Dias chips a good pass through the centre for Paco Alcácer, who strides between our centre backs and places the ball past Lenogue for 0-5. We swap to Project: Meatloaf, because why not and Ferhat and Andre both come on to try and pull something back for us, but the cushion remains at 5 and we fail to even register a shot on target. Even though it’s Monaco away, that one hurts. We’ve been battered.

192 1 4 post.png

192 2 6 pre match.png

Bournemouth Chairman Robert Guthrie perhaps senses an opportunity in the aftermath of our defeat, offering me Jason Tindall’s old job on the South coast. I had an opportunity to leave just before the break and I may have another one now with the Cherries. I think leaving because of a single drubbing against the club that are pretty much nailed on to win the league would be a bit knee-jerk though, so thanks but no thanks.

192 2 1 bournemouth int.png

Someone’s on the way out though and it’s Florian Ayé. A loan will do him good as I just can’t fit him into my Ligue 1 side. I hope he enjoys his time in Serbia and scores a few goals so that maybe he can play himself into a permanent move in the Summer.

192 2 3 aye leaves.png

And spurred on by Aston Villa and Nantes, who’ve both offered pre-contracts to our loanee full back Rogério, I do the same. He looks like a player with a bit of potential so I’d like him to stay beyond the end of the season.

192 2 4 rogerio contract.png

Finally, just before we move onto our league match against Toulouse, we reject another bid from Hull for young Sylvain Laurent. I don’t know if it’s Crouch that keeps suggesting these bids, but they really need to take the hint.

192 2 5 laurent bid.png

Olof Mellberg’s Toulouse, as I’ve mentioned before, have somehow dropped like a stone throughout the first half of the season and find themselves in 20th place, having finished in 3rd place last season. I’m still wary though. They did lose a couple of old heads in the Summer, but they’re still essentially the same team that gave us a tough time last season.

192 2 7 preview.png

I’m making a whole 7 changes from the Monaco game: Vladimir, Celsiney, Doucouré, Rogério, Goujon, Andre and Ferhat are coming in to replace Lenogue, Samba, Captiste, Billy, Basauri, Raf and Fomba. Amine Reynier, our new number 7, also makes the bench for the first time. As wary as I am of Toulouse, they are 20th and we are at home, so we’re starting with Meatloaf. We’ll press aggressively, we’ll run at their defenders, we’ll roam to get ourselves into any gaps they leave in their compact little 4-2-2-2. In short, we’ll go at them and we’ll assert our game on them. 2024’s started pretty horrendously but we’ll put it behind us and pick up the 3 points. Come on, lads.

192 2 8 formations.png

BANG! On 20 minutes we take the lead. Perfect. It comes from a long ball from Celsiney that springs Phil Foden free behind Caju and Martins Indi. Phil could shoot, but he’s a true pro and so squares for Hicham Aidir, who’s completely unmarked on the edge of the 6 yard box. 1-0 and we’re off the mark in the league for the first time this calendar year.

7 minutes later, Celsiney bombs down the right wing looking dangerous again. He drills a low cross in that comes back off the near post and falls to Aidir. He’s at too narrow an angle for a shot but he puts the ball across the face of the goal where Sissako’s arriving, but Ramírez makes a vital interception and clears, denying us a certain second goal.

We’re denied again 5 minutes before half time when Hicham Aidir holds the ball up just inside the Toulouse half and hits a long curling ball ahead of Brahim Ferhat. Ferhat’s first touch takes him into the box and his second is a poked shot at goal, but Gomis raises a strong hand to tip it behind. We’re unlucky to have just a single goal at the break but at least we’re winning.

Reynier makes his debut as a half time substitute replacing Nathan Andre and gets a great ovation from the home fans. It’s Toulouse who come out brighter though, with Morales stinging Vladimir’s hands with a driven shot from the edge of the box. The Brazilian parries the ball behind for a corner to maintain our lead.

With 35 minutes to go, Brahim Ferhat hits the bar with a looping cross from the byline, but Toulouse finally do what the Toulouse I know do and hit us on the break. A long ball sets Assimaïdou off on a sprint and he gets goal-side of Doucouré, but luckily his attempt to place a shot into the top corner is a smidge too high and clears the bar.

Sensing that they smell blood, I bring off Ferhat and introduce Lamine Fomba with 20 minutes to play and we go to a more cautious 4-1-2-3, with Goujon protecting the defence and Reynier out on the left. Unfortunately it isn’t cautious enough. 5 minutes later Caju whips a corner in, Ivanovic flicks it on and we fail to clear the ball, leaving Bruno Martins Indi to volley the ball in low from close range. 1-1.

I begin counting our missed chances after that. We’ve had a few that we probably could’ve bundled into the net on another day, but not today. Today, an 81st minute cross from Morales is met by Assimaïdou and squeezed past Vladimir at the near post to give Toulouse the win. Not even a cameo from Joël can save us although I’m not sure why I thought it would. It’s poor from our goalkeeper but we should’ve put this to bed in the first half. Bloody hell. Bring back 2023.

192 2 9 post.png

192 3 1 debut

192 3 2 league

Episode 193 >

Idiots (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep191)

Why can’t people just not be fucking idiots for 5 seconds?

Start from the start with episode 1

< Mini-sode 190.5

If you’re looking for something to read, try this eight part episodic I’ve written – “The Chaos Of Dom”

Or this ridiculous little story – “Walt Awakens”

The “winter break” seems like a bit of a misnomer this season. True, there’s a 3 and a half week gap between league games, but some genius decided to stick our French Cup 9th round match against Valenciennes in the middle of it. Still, at least we’ve got a bit of time to look for, amongst perhaps other things, a new left back.

191 1 14 transfer window open.png

With Faouzi Hikem shipped off to Germany a couple of days into 2024, we do complete a signing of our own at around the same time. Promising keeper Ibrahima Gaye completes his £130k move from Ivorian side Académie de Football Amadou Diallo. There’s interest in Xavier Lenogue again too, from Nantes this time, but they can of course jog on.

191 1 16 gaye signs

191 1 17 gaye

191 1 15 lenogue interest

Some of my key players soon come to me and share their worries about the Hikem shaped hole in the squad. I’ll be looking to spend some of the Hikem money on a new left back anyway though, so I send my scouts out to find me one. We have up to about £7.5M in our pocket if we need it, but I don’t want to spend big. We’ve not dragged ourselves out of that financial quagmire just to hold our nose and jump straight back in. I’d prefer a first choice replacement so that I can keep Billy as the backup, but we’ll see what’s out there.

191 1 20 squad unh

191 1 21 finances

In slightly horrifying news, Loïc Goujon’s set a new Auxerre record for poor discipline, having accrued 11 yellow cards and 2 reds in half a season. The previous holder was Ruben Aguilar, who racked up 12 yellows and a red. In a full season. If Loïc keeps going like this, he’ll probably be arrested by March. He has won a place in the Team of the Week alongside Isaac Sohna though, so you can’t argue the fact that he gets results. And seriously, that was some goal he scored last week.

191 1 4 goujon record

191 1 13 totw

Gaizka Basauri twists his wrist as we approach the Valenciennes match, which is disappointing as he probably would have played. I’m considering sending him back out on loan for the remainder of the season, as he’s not played that much so far but has been fine when I have seen him. Probably not quite Ligue 1 standard yet, but more game time will make sure his development doesn’t stall.

191 1 5 basauri inj.png

Stepping away from club matters for a moment, the French Best XI’s just been announced by the fans and features very few surprises. Perhaps the only mildly interesting pick in a year of such turbulence in the goalkeeping position is the selection of Alphonse Areola, who finished 2023 as our starting keeper. Leo Gauthier’s relegated to the bench as he has been for actual matches.

191 1 6 best xi

191 1 6 best xi 2

191 1 7 where are they now.png

And while we’re at it, Kylian Mbappé’s set a third record in a relatively short space of time, eclipsing Paul Pogba yet again with his average rating from the 8 matches he’s played in 2023. A consistent 9 out of 10 is quite frankly ridiculous and no less than I’d expect from such a horrifyingly talented footballer.

191 1 12 mbappe record.png

The latest invitation for an interview is from Sunderland, who are currently flailing in 17th place in the Premier League. I’m alright.

191 1 8 sunderland interview.png

Then comes an interesting one: After speaking with Dennis Sundberg, we agree that the club could do with upgrading our Youth and Training facilities to make ourselves even more self-sustainable. The sale of Faouzi Hikem, mixed with some of the Ligue 1 prize money we’ll get in the Summer, will fund the £10M refurbishments, but means we definitely can’t overspend in this window. And as it happens, we might have found a left back.

191 1 24 youth facs

191 1 25 training facs

I open talks with Anderlecht’s Birger Meling, a 29 year old Norwegian whose contract is up in the Summer. He seems pretty good; Strong and fast, physically fit, driven and hard working as the day is long. True he lacks technical skill, but he may well be available on a free transfer, so for our purposes and budget I think he’ll do just fine.

191 1 22 birger

The plan is this:

Step one – Agree a pre-contract deal with Birger and arrange a Bosman signing in July.

Step two – Arrange a fee with Anderlecht, similarly to how Espanyol did with us over Adama Ba, so that we can sign him now for a reduced price. He’s currently valued at £3.1M and frankly fuck that.

Step three – If step two isn’t possible we won’t get Birger until the Summer, so find a young left back to take on loan for the rest of the season. Billy will be first choice with the loanee as backup.

Sounds pretty reasonable, right? I offer him a contract.

191 1 23 birger offer

191 1 28 build up.png

It’s now time for our Cup tie against Valenciennes though, so transfer talk will have to wait. Obviously we’re without Goujon, who’s suspended and Basauri, who’s injured, so Abi Sissako comes into midfield alongside Raf. McCarthy, Foden and Zoun are all brought out of the side too and replaced by Andre, Bassani and Patrick Granger, who makes his first appearance of the season. Bassani and Granger will both start essentially on the wrong wings where they aren’t that comfortable. They’re both encouraged to periodically swap though and play as out and out wingers on their preferred sides. I’m also putting Xavier Lenogue on the bench, which is an odd move for me, but if this match goes to penalties I’m ready to go all Louis Van Gaal and throw him on.

191 1 30 preview

191 1 31 formations

We’re a whisker away from breaking the deadlock just 8 minutes in when Andre does brilliantly to latch onto Bassani’s header and poke the ball to Aidir just inside the box. Aidir lets the ball roll across his body before striking for the far corner, but he hits the inside of the post, after which the ball bounces back and hits goalkeeper Paul Charruau on the back before being hoofed clear by a defender.

It takes us a further 15 minutes to break the deadlock through a simple set piece. From a free kick just inside Valenciennes’ half, Raf slides the ball forwards to Granger on the left, who turns inside and slips in Andre. Nathan Andre takes a touch to control the ball, takes another to round his marker and then drills the ball with pin point accuracy into the bottom right corner.

10 minutes later the goalscorer turns provider when Andre holds the ball up on the edge of the box and lays it off for Alessandro Bassani, coming in from the left. Bassani hits it first time, successfully imitating Andre’s finish by zipping a shot into the far bottom corner of the net.

The match is pretty much over from that point on. Roux and Ferhat both get half an hour in the second half and we go close to a third goal from an unlikely source when Billy’s cross is headed goalwards by Issa Samba, who finds himself on the edge of the 6 yard box for reasons unknown to us both. Charruau pulls off a good save though and the match ends 2-0. Solid.

191 1 32 post.png

With passage through to the next round secured, I arrange a friendly. Our next league match is away at Monaco, arguably the most difficult of the lot, so I want us to practice with Project: Sword against a decent team, as it’s been a while. We’ll travel back to Poland, ignoring all my flashbacks on the way and take on Legia Warsaw, who should give us a difficult match and prove good preparation for Monaco.

191 2 1 win.png

The draw for the 10th round is made shortly afterwards, pitting us away against Toulouse. Ordinarily this would seem a really tough tie, but Toulouse ended 2023 spectacularly badly and last year’s 3rd place team are now propping up Ligue 1. I don’t know how I feel about this one though, surely they’ve still got the potential to frustrate and hit us on the break.

191 2 2 draw.png

Bad news follows the draw – Birger Meling, with options aplenty, has chosen to join Sevilla instead of Auxerre. Shit. We didn’t even get past step one. Other options are pretty thin on the ground and Birger was the potential signing with the lowest risk attached, but as he’s heading to Spain we’re going to have to take some kind of risk.

191 2 3 birger to sevilla.png

A £2M bid is hesitantly made for CSKA Moscow’s unsettled Russian International full back Dmitry Yermolaev. The risks with Dmitry, or ‘Yerm’ as I imagine I’d call him, are:

A) His performances. He’s 22 years old and has not proven himself to be a consistent performer in the Russian Premier Division. He’d be taking a step up to Ligue 1 too, but he has all of the tools he needs to make it and I back myself to make a player out of him. I’d sort of have to.

B) His fee. £2M is far more than I wanted to pay and is also more than twice as much as I’ve ever paid for a player. To be fair though, this reminds me of a similar calculated risk I took in signing Phil Foden. Yerm could be a similar success story, or he could absolutely bomb.

C) His attitude. It worries me that he’s trying to force a move away from Moscow. It’s forgivable and perhaps even understandable when a player has outgrown his club to such an extent that he feels he has to move in order to progress. To throw your toys out of the pram and demand first team football when you’re not even performing that well though is as I say, worrying.

191 2 4 yerm

So like I said, signing Yerm would be a calculated risk. He can be good. He can be very good. But will he be? Celta Vigo certainly think so as they have a similar bid accepted. We do too and a contract is offered. These Spanish clubs are starting to annoy me a bit though. I bet they snipe on EBay. Is that still a thing people do?

191 2 8 yerm accepted.png

191 2 9 yerm contract.png

A few deals are pushed over the line in the next few days – Young defensive midfielder Paul Lefevre completes a loan move to SAS Épinal, Abdoulaye Faye is loaned to US Ivry and Nathan Andre, finally content with the amount of football he’s playing, signs a new long term deal.

And then the drama starts. The drama I so sincerely wished wouldn’t rear it’s ugly head this month. Paulo Fonseca and his Benfica cronies make a quite pathetic £325k-650k bid for Mathis Roux. Boa tentativa. Não, obrigado.

191 2 12 roux offer.png

Knock. Knock. Fucking knock.

“You arrogant, unbelievable little shit.” I growl. “You ungrateful little bastard.”

Mathis just sits there in the chair on the other side of my desk, a big old shit eating grin on his face. “I really am a piece of shit and I want to leave for money and because I’m thick as two short planks,” he says, like a piece of shit that’s as thick as two short planks. Fine, no he doesn’t actually say that, but that’s the gist. I slap a £10M price tag on his head and tell him to go back to training with the kids. Fucking idiot.

191 2 14 roux whines.png

Inter and Spurs both make bids that could rise as high as £2.6M for Roux, but clearly they misheard me when I just said “I slap a £10M price tag on his head.” Time wasters. £5M is as low as I’ll go and that’s my final offer.

191 2 15 roux offer

191 2 16 roux offer

Knock. Knock. Pissing knock.

191 2 17 roux unh.png

“Not only am I an ungrateful, pig headed little idiot, but I’m an impatient one at that!” Laughs Mathis, his own shit smeared across his face as he vacantly dribbles against my office window.

191 2 23 roux row.png

The bids are really flying around now. Vigo come in with a £775k bid for Zoun, but won’t go higher than £1.6M so quickly find themselves pissing off, my dissipating confidence in the merits of signing Yerm prompts me to make a loan bid for Porto’s promising full back Rogério and then Inter come back with £1.6M-3.4M for Roux. Closer, but no cigar.

191 2 19 rogerio.png

The Legia friendly provides some much needed respite from what is becoming quite an annoying transfer window. I put out the team that I expect to start against Monaco: Lenogue in net, Samba, Captiste, Sohna and Billy across the back, Goujon and Basauri the holding men, Raf and Sissako the centre mids and a strike partnership of Foden and Aidir. It’s a pleasing game all in all. Foden opens the scoring with an early curling strike before Presa levels from just inside the box and towards the end of a very even game, Legia are sent down to 10 men when a frustrated Zalevski is sent off for a 2 footer aimed at Sissako’s calfs. As pleasing as the performance is though, there’s no doubt that Monaco will be a step up in quality and we’ll do well to hold our own like this.

191 2 22 post legia.png

After the match, Yerm chooses Celta Vigo and completes his move, but to be fair if he’d chosen us I reckon I would’ve cancelled this one. Too many doubts. I hope he does well though.

191 3 1 yerm to vigo.png

The next round of bids does see us accept a couple of offers: Rapid Wien are negotiated up from £1.4M to £2.5 rising to £4.7M for Zoun, which I rubber stamp.

191 3 2 zoun offer.png

Benfica’s bid of £1.4M-2.8M for Roux is still short, but thankfully Liverpool are convinced to meet my minimum £5M asking price, plus 50% of the next fee. I’ll take it.

With Mathis the idiot finally looking like he’s on the way out, Joël Soumahoro’s Eupen loan is terminated. He’s not had a good few months in Belgium but we need another playmaker and preferably one who won’t abandon us at the drop of a hat. Welcome back, Joël.

191 3 5 joel called back

191 3 6 joel

But then I get wind of another bid. A bid that circumvents me. Arsenal come in with £2.8M, possibly rising to £5M instead of the lump sum that Liverpool are offering. We’d also only get 40% of the profit of any future deal instead of 50% of the whole thing. Dennis Sundberg, not so much taking leave of his senses as setting his senses on fire and throwing them into the fucking sarlacc pit, accepts the offer.

“What the fucking hell are you doing?!” I burst into Sundberg’s office with a face like thunder. “Why are you getting involved? There’s a better deal on the table already, Dennis! Pull the plug on Arsenal!” I go on for a bit, carefully toeing the line between just telling the Chairman what a colossal moron he is and giving him such a verbal battering that he sacks me. Eventually, although he still doesn’t quite seem to grasp the point I’m making, Sundberg cancels the deal. Good move.

191 3 9 roux offer

After that, things start to look up. Rogério signs on loan, providing us with a decent and cheap backup left back for the rest of the season. He looks like a good lad, like Birger he’s strong, quick, physically fit and has the right attitude, with the added bonus that he can hold his own in the air too. He too is technically limited, but at 22 he’s got plenty of time to improve. His contract with Porto runs out in the Summer too, so if he impresses he could be in line for a permanent move.

191 3 7 rogerio signed

191 3 8 rogerio

Zoun says goodbye shortly afterwards, joining Rapid Wien in a deal that could rise to close to £5M. He’s similar to Hikem in my eyes; I’m not doubting that either of them are quality players, but I want footballers in my squad that I know what I’m getting from. Unpredictability and inconsistency are not traits that I enjoy. Maybe the 2 of them have failed to impress me so much because they were touted to me upon my arrival as our 2 best players, a title that they’ve both failed to live up to. Zoun’s been a good player for us at times though and his attitude has never been a problem, so I wish him the best of luck. Goodbye, Roland Zoungrana.

191 3 10 zoun leaves.png

Screen Shot 2018-09-11 at 20.12.30.png

We’re going to need a replacement for the Burkinabe man and I reckon I’ve found one that fits the bill perfectly. Ideally I want somebody that’s very versatile and can play anywhere in midfield, attacking midfield or up front, but especially cutting in from the left as that’s the position where we’re now lacking numbers. A £3M bid is made and accepted for Lens’ 21 year old versatile Frenchman Amine Reynier and a contract is offered.

191 3 11 reynier

191 3 12 reynier accepted

Hull City, who somehow still haven’t grasped the fact that I’d rather actually visit Hull than sell them any of my players, make a £240k-£500k bid for central midfielder Sylvain Laurent. Nope.

The next bid comes a bit out of the blue, but it’s greatly appreciated – Serbian Super League side Napredak offer to take Florian Ayé on loan for the rest of the season. This is obviously a fantastic idea from everyone’s perspective, so I accept instantly.

191 3 16 aye offer.png

On the eve of the Monaco match, Kakuba picks up a hernia, so won’t be available for our first match of 2024.

191 3 20 kakuba inj.png

Amine Reynier joins on the same day though, becoming my new record signing at £3M. He won’t be fit to take part tomorrow, but he will be soon and he’s an exciting prospect. Amine’s by no means the finished article, but he’s quick, powerful, has good technique and a hell of a long shot, as well as fitting my preferred mould of determined and hard working (ish) players who make good decisions.

191 3 17 reynier signs191 3 18 reynier signs 2

191 3 19 reynier

But then, just as I start to get the feeling that things might just turn out alright after all, Arsenal make another bid for Mathis Roux. The same bid. The exact same bid. Sundberg accepts it.

“Let me in, Dennis, you fucking coward.” I yell, hammering on his locked office door.

“We’ve already spoken and I listened to you on that occasion,” Comes his muffled voice from the other side, “So this time I do what I think is right.”

191 3 22 roux offer

“But it’s the exact same conversation, you halfwit!” I smack my head against the door as tears of frustration and possibly now pain start to well in my eyes. “So you didn’t listen to me last time because this is a continuation of that conversation!”

“No, I really think I’ve earned the right to make the decision alone this time.” He says, like a fucking joke of a Chairman.

“Well you’re wrong!” I turn and slump against his office door. Why can’t people just not be fucking idiots for 5 seconds? Here’s me scraping the skin off my knuckles to get his club some extra money. I won’t be here to enjoy it! I just don’t want us getting ripped off! Plus, I’m fighting for Liverpool’s chances of landing an exciting player for fucks sake! Do you know how bizarre a feeling that is for me?!

Forget it. It’s in Mathis Roux’s hands now. His choice: Arsenal or Liverpool.

192 2 2 roux agrees move.png

Wonderful.

I suppose it’s a moot point anyway. The buy on percentage will mean nothing unless he improves to the point where someone wants to buy him. And seeing as the transfer to Arsenal won’t go through until he reaches the age of 18, which he won’t do until the end of the 2024/25 season and he’s sure as shit not getting out of the youth team while I’m in charge, good luck reaching your potential, Mathis Roux.

You fucking idiot.

Screen Shot 2018-09-11 at 20.27.18

Goalkeepers

Xavier Lenogue, Vladimir

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Defenders

Issa Samba, Celsiney, Captiste, Isaac Sohna, Mamadou Doucouré, Mike Kakuba, Billy, Rogério

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Midfielders

Loïc Goujon, Gaizka Basauri, Raf, Abdoulaye Sissako, Lamine Fomba, Phil Foden, Alessandro Bassani, Fabian McCarthy, Joël Soumahoro, Amine Reynier, Patrick Granger

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Strikers

Hicham Aidir, Nathan Andre, Brahim Ferhat

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

191 3 13 build up.png

Episode 192 >

Bullying (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Mini-sode 190.5)

“Eat it!”

Start from the start with episode 1

< Episode 190

Might have gone off the deep end with this one, lads – “The Little Poo”

And another – “Coffee”

I’ve written an eight part episodic story – “The Chaos Of Dom – Part One”

“Salt?” Bechkoura holds out a glass salt shaker while trying to stifle his laughter.

“It’s insane that you’re all making me do this.” I reply, flatly. “This is essentially bullying, you all realise that.” Some of my coaching staff laugh, others cheer their encouragement, others bang the cafeteria trays against tables to create a sort of makeshift drumroll noise.

“Eat it!” Snarls Benoît Cheyrou. “Eat the hat! Eat it!” Benoît’s succumbed to the mob mentality more than most, it seems.

“I will eat a small section of the hat.” I sigh, eyeing the AJ Auxerre branded baseball cap that Bechkoura’s bought and presented to me on a plate. “But just know that I hate you all.”

I pick up my fork and stab it into the visor of the cap, then I pick up my knife and start hacking away. It takes a while to free a piece of the cap so that I can start tucking in. I’m not sure if you’ve ever tried to cut up a baseball cap with a standard knife and fork, but… Yeah, it takes a while. Eventually though, as my coaching staff cheer me on, as Benoît Cheyrou grins maniacally and as Bechkoura laughs his almost certainly fired arse off, I raise the piece of visor to my lips and drag it off the fork with my incisors.

As the rest of my teeth sink into the piece of visor, which thankfully seems to be made quite cheaply from cardboard and a cotton blend as oppose to plastic, I consider how it came to this point. How did it come to the point where I, the man who made Angrense invincible, the man who won France their first European International League trophy and the man currently working wonders with AJ Auxerre, how did it come to the point where I’m eating my fucking hat?

The answer can be traced back to a couple of days ago, when Bayern Munich manager Diego Simeone called to enquire about my unpredictable left back Faouzi Hikem. Just as Faouzi predicted he would. I was ready to play hardball though and armed with my exorbitant asking price, I told Simeone to stump up £15M. He agreed.

191 1 9 bayern hikem bid

It all happened so quickly: Faouzi flew to Germany to sort out personal terms, which didn’t take very long. Then Auxerre’s legal team got in contact with the full back’s youth team, Jeunesse Sportive de Kabylie, to sort out the 40% or so of the fee that they were owed. It worked out at nearly £6M, which for an Algerian League 1 side is not bad at all. Then just like that, the ‘i’s were dotted and the ‘t’s were crossed. Faouzi Hikem did indeed join Bayern Munich for an Auxerrois record fee, topping Djibril Cissé’s £13.75M move to Liverpool 20 years ago.

191 1 18 hikem leaves

191 1 18.5 hikem

191 1 19 old club get windfall

191 1 26 record income

191 1 27 record fee

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m over the bloody moon. I’m sick of losing Faouzi for 3 matches at a time because of stupid 2 footed challenges and I think the £9M-ish that we’ve picked up is pretty good business. It also means that our finances look better than they ever have during my time here. But of course, I did say that I’d eat my hat if Bayern Munich came in for Hikem. Me and my big mouth. My big mouth that is currently savouring the taste of cheap, Chinese-made club merchandise.

Once the piece of visor has been successfully turned into a putrid ball of mush, I force it down as best I can. There are still little pieces of wet fabric between my teeth, but otherwise it’s gone. Fucking disgusting. I have metaphorically and literally eaten my hat. The coaching staff cheer once more.

“How was it, Boss?” Asks Bechkoura. “Could’ve done with salt, I imagine.”

“You tell me.” I smile darkly. “You’re the one who agreed to eat a piece of hat if I did.” The room falls quiet as Bechkoura’s face drains of colour.

“N-no I didn’t!”

“Well that’s what we all remember, Bechkoura. That’s what all of us who don’t want to look for new jobs tomorrow remember, isn’t it?”

The loudest cheer so far erupts around the cafeteria as the plate’s carried across the table to be placed in front of Bechkoura. He gives me a dirty look as Benoît Cheyrou takes the salt shaker out of his hand and upends it, spilling a pile of salt onto the cap and the surrounding area of table.

“EAT IT! EAT THE FUCKING HAT!” He screams.

Jesus, calm down Benoît.

Episode 191 >

Staying Put (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep190)

I’m still not entirely sure why I’ve decided to stay in France, but I’ll try to explain.

Start from the start with episode 1

< Episode 189

Latest short story – “The Troll”

And another – “Into Space”

And I also found the short story that started all of this – ‘Survive’

I stare out of the window of Dyukov’s private jet as we touch back down at the Auxerre – Branches Aerodrome. It’s odd: Until I actually got the call from the Zenit Chairman, made the trip to St Petersburg and sat down with the contract in front of me, I really thought I’d sign it.

189 1 12 zenit approach.png

I’m still not entirely sure why I’ve decided to stay in France, but I’ll try to explain: Firstly, I want to move to a club that can win silverware and Zenit are obviously better equipped than l’AJA in that regard, but for this season at least, Zenit have already won the league. They’re so far clear at the top that they can afford to stroll leisurely through to the Summer, pretty secure in the knowledge that they’ll be lifting a trophy after the last match is played. So for the time being at least, I wouldn’t be achieving a bloody thing by going and winning the Russian Premier Division and that’s not an appealing prospect for me.

Screen Shot 2018-09-08 at 14.16.36

Secondly, while my current team is full of young, hungry players, Zenit’s needs a major facelift. A lot of their best players are the wrong side of 30 and the youth set up isn’t even comparable to ours, so I genuinely think I’m already at the better side and the side that can actually go places. And yes, Zenit are rich, but it seems like it’d be a really long term project to sort them out, which is a problem because of…

Screen Shot 2018-09-08 at 14.17.17

… Thirdly, my Continental Pro License. As I say, if I moved to Russia, the first 18 months at least would be about bringing in a younger and more talented core of players, finding our playing style, building a new squad identity and gelling everything together, whereas provided I can finish my Continental Pro License in the Summer, my options will be thrown wide open. I’ll have the highest qualifications possible and so I could be considered a gamble worth taking for a club much, much bigger than Zenit. I’m willing to wait 6 months to see if that happens. Everton and Napoli have both effectively declared themselves not interested, so I’m staying put for now.

Screen Shot 2018-09-08 at 14.19.52.png

And while I’m on this, Stade Brestois just called and also offered an interview. Enough said, really.

190 1 1 brestois interview.png

And so on Christmas Eve Eve, we travel to Nantes away. Just me and the Auxerre boys, set for another half-season of overachievement. Our opponents are 2 places but an entire 7 points behind us in 7th place, which really shines a light on how big the gap’s beginning to get up here between us and those below us.

190 1 3 preview.png

After a cup exit against Lorient that I couldn’t really be either pleased or displeased with, I’m making some changes – Samba, Captiste, Fomba, Bassani and McCarthy are back out, while Celsiney, Kakuba, Sissako, Foden and Roux are recalled to the starting line up.

190 1 4 formations.png

We come screaming out of the blocks, knocking the ball about with confidence and purpose. We nearly take the lead after just 2 minutes when Mathis Roux passes the ball to Ferhat on the edge of the box, but the French youth international’s shot is plucked out of the air by Husejnovic.

15 minutes later we’re knocking on the door, but the Nantes keeper smothers a low cross from Celsiney and starts a counter attack for the hosts. Freuler gets on the ball and hits a good pass behind Doucouré for Monier, who runs through on goal and blasts the ball beyond Lenogue for 0-1. Straight from kick off we show signs of capitulating as Radonjic stings our keeper’s palms with a low fizzing shot, winning his side a corner. The initial set piece is cleared, but within a minute Radonjic shrugs off Celsiney and slots under Lenogue for 0-2. Oh dear. Oh dear, oh dear.

As I scream instructions from the touchline, I’m powerless to stop the waves of Nantes attacks crashing against our goal. 2 more minutes pass before Krovinovic finds himself the wrong side of Kakuba in our box and drills in a third. Before the clock ticks over to show 25 minutes, Harit’s free kick is swung in from the right wing, nodded on by Santamaria and powered home off the head of Meriah. 0-4. I don’t understand. I just don’t. How has this gone so wrong?

A thin sliver of light is shone on the match after half an hour, when Billy hoofs in a cross and Foden continues to defy the odds by heading home from 12 yards, but by half time it should be 1-5. Krovinovic chips a pass over the top for Monier to run onto but this time Lenogue makes himself big and manages to block the striker’s close range shot.

At half time I think a triple substitution is more than justified. Samba comes on for Celsiney, who’s getting dominated at the back, Andre comes on for Roux, who’s been ineffective but to be fair no more than anybody else and Zoun comes on for Ferhat. I hope this is one of the winger’s good days.

On 65 minutes, Harit squares it from a free kick on the left wing, finding Radonjic in acres of space outside the box. He takes a touch, leathers it and is helped out by the ball taking a deflection off Billy’s foot, wrong-footing Lenogue and finding the back of our net for the 5th time. Awful.

Our afternoon is summed up shortly afterwards when substitute pair Andre and Zoun link up to create a chance, with Zoun playing a perfect final ball into the 6 yard box for Aidir, but our usually reliable striker volleys against the bar from close range. We do get another goal back though with 15 minutes to go, when Foden receives the ball from Sissako and plays in Andre, who rolls it into the far bottom corner. 2-5. Still not a great scoreline, is it?

A few minutes later we’re 4 goals behind again. Billy’s caught upfield and Ardaiz takes the opportunity to break down the right, before cutting across Doucouré and firing the ball into the far top corner with pinpoint accuracy. We do finally bag the 9th goal of the game when Phil Foden plays a long diagonal ball onto the left for Zoun, who squares it for Hicham Aidir, who knocks it in from inside the 6 yard box.

Don’t get me wrong, 3 goals away from home is pretty good. Conceding 6? Not so great. I’m displeased.

190 1 5 post.png

And let’s dwell on that result for just a little bit longer before we put it out of our minds forever. 3-6 is a new high scoring Ligue 1 game for Auxerre, trumping our 4-4 draw against Lyon last season.

190 2 1 record goals

190 2 4 pre match.png

I won’t lie, that result gives me serious pause for thought over whether I’m making the correct decision by sticking with l’AJA. That was just awful. Terrible. We weren’t particularly thrashed in terms of the amount of the ball we had or the amount of chances, but we were wasteful up front and absolutely woeful at the back. I do have another option of an escape if I want it: An interview with Brighton and Hove Albion is offered by Chairman Gary Bentley. Linking back up with their Summer signing Hugo Lloris is a tempting proposition, but I doubt he’d be too happy to work with the man who effectively ended his international career. Pass.

190 2 2 brighton interview

190 2 3 lloris

After once again completely ignoring the yuletide season, we have one more league match to play before our winter break. On the face of it it should be a decent chance to rack up 3 points against a seriously underperforming Marseille side in 15th place, but today is their new manager Jorge Jesus’ first game in charge, so it’ll be anything but a walkover.

190 2 5 preview.png

I’m making considerable changes once again after that ridiculous Nantes match: Lenogue, Celsiney, Kakuba, Doucouré, Sissako, Roux and Ferhat are all out, replaced by Vladimir, Samba, Captiste, Sohna, Raf, McCarthy and Zoun. We’ll exploit the wings as they’re going to pack the middle of the park, but we stick with Meatloaf.

190 2 6 formations.png

We dominate a large portion of the first half. Our first excellent chance comes after half an hour though when Isaac Sohna looks up on the edge of our box and absolutely thumps it upfield, releasing Hicham Aidir behind Marseille’s defensive line. Hicham runs through on goal, pulls back his trusty left foot but is denied by an absolutely superb last ditch tackle from behind, courtesy of the visitors’ Harry Maguire. He knocks the ball away before Hicham can open the scoring.

We’re undone a few minutes later when a throw in from Fernandes is missed by Sohna, allowing Hivring Lozano to nip in on goal. He goes one on one with Lenogue and knocks in the opening goal. I’m starting to get annoyed. 9 Auxerre shots to Marseille’s 3, 5 on target to their 1 and at the break we’re trailing.

Luckily, it doesn’t take us that long to get back into the game. 10 minutes after the restart, McCarthy’s corner’s cleared as far as Issa Samba, who carries the ball forward and lays it off for Loïc Goujon, who wraps his foot around it 25 yards out and blasts it into the top left corner. His first goal of the season and it’s a beauty. Take a bow, Loïc, you brilliant bastard.

In the 63rd minute we go close to a second courtesy of a nice little triangle of passes from McCarthy to Foden to Aidir, 20 yards out. Aidir shoots with power but his strike comes back off the frame of the goal. With 20 minutes to go, my frustration starts to peak when Goujon goes in 2 footed on Maximilian Arnold and earns a straight red. Take an early bath, Loïc, you fucking idiot. Zoun’s replaced by Andre on the left after another anonymous performance.

Andre almost creates the winner late on with a surging run down the left and a cross into the box, but when Aidir meets it and shoots, Mangala’s there to block it on the line. It’s a dominant Auxerre performance, but we’ll go into the new year off the back of 2 extremely frustrating matches.

190 2 7 post.png

190 3 1 league.png

Mini-sode 190.5 >

LeGod Returns (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep189)

I’ll need to go and sleep for about 16 hours after that.

Start from the start with episode 1

< Meta-sode 188.5

Latest short story – “The Troll”

And another – “Into Space”

I think that went well. Yeah, I think that was fine. I’m in a positive mood as Dyukov’s private jet takes off from Rzhevka Airport, just East of St Petersburg. I could definitely get used to this kind of luxury, by the way. It’s my first time in a private jet and Jesus it’s luxurious. They’ve got everything: Loads of alcoholic drinks, soft drinks, they’ve even got fucking Lilt. I’ve not seen that shit in years.

Anyway, yes, the interview. It basically boiled down to the fact that Zenit are looking for 2 things in a manager: They want someone who can develop youngsters from their youth academy (Check) and someone who’ll focus on making the most of set pieces (Not on your life). It was a bit of a sticking point, that last one. I’m not prepared to go to a team that are 8 points clear at the top of the league and drill them like they’re fucking FC Höllviken, setting up defensively and putting all our eggs into the set piece basket. I do like to have tall, switched on players in my teams though, so we do tend to hold our own in this regard despite the fact that I don’t make it any sort of priority. Dyukov seemed satisfied with that answer. Otherwise it was all standard stuff. Yeah, I think it went well.

189 1 3 zenit interview.png

I had a meeting the other day with Nathan Andre and Billy with regard to the Lyon match. Both had really poor games and I gently encouraged them both to learn from it.

And speaking of Zlatan’s teams, we also draw his former charges Valenciennes in the French Cup 9th Round. It should be a fairly winnable tie as Valenciennes are very much a mid-table Ligue 2 side, but I’m very much aware that I’ve said that before and been incredibly wrong, so I suppose we’ll see.

189 1 4 french cup draw

With 3 irons currently in the fire, I decline Bordeaux’s invitation to add a 4th by interviewing for their vacant manager’s position. I also decline Sundberg’s invitation to hold talks with Auxerre.

189 1 5 bordeaux interview.png

189 1 7 auxerre talks.png

Mike Kakuba’s picked in the Ligue 1 Team of the Week for what I’m pretty sure is the first time, while Nathan Andre has now dropped his concern over the lack of football he was playing at the start of the season. Gaizka Basauri now wants to go on loan in search of first team football of his own, but Captiste sorts it.

189 1 8 totw

189 1 6 andre happy

189 1 9 basauri unh

189 1 10 basauri fine

But this week we don’t just have domestic admin to get out of the way, oh no, this week the World Cup 2026 Qualifying Groups are drawn, the matches for which will start after Euro 2024.

189 1 16 draw made

189 1 11 rankings.png

With France seeded first, the first 45 picks pass us by. To be honest I’d probably take any of these groups. I look at for example Group 1, I see Switzerland, Wales and Ireland I think “That could be a tough group”, but not for us surely. Not for France. Group 6 I really would rather avoid though – Czechia, Slovenia, Iceland and Slovakia strikes me as a group that are going to kick the shit out of each other and average 0.5 goals per game. No thank you. My heart races as our bracket of teams is whittled down: Germany, Denmark, Croatia, Belgium, England… And in Group 6… Spain. Oh Christ, they’ll get eaten alive.

189 1 13 8 draw189 1 13 9 draw

The very next team out of the hat are France in Group 7, as the people of Georgia all simultaneously let out anguished screams. Hello again. It’ll be nice to exact some long overdue revenge on Montenegro for the way they thrashed Liechtenstein, while the Faroe Islands matches should be cricket scores. Turkey will probably give us a game but I’d call this another fairly easy group.

189 1 15 group 7

Screen Shot 2018-09-06 at 18.12.34Screen Shot 2018-09-06 at 18.12.51Screen Shot 2018-09-06 at 18.13.05Screen Shot 2018-09-06 at 18.13.18

189 1 17 drawn

189 1 18 turkey face

So with another winnable group to look forward to next Year, my eyes flick back over to Auxerre’s next match, at home against Stade Rennais. They’re 13th in what’s turning out to be a really tightly contested bottom half of the table and I want us to take all 3 points. Goujon and Sohna will both miss out through suspension, so Mamadou Doucouré comes back into our defence as Captiste is still lacking fitness, while Fabian McCarthy also returns to the starting lineup and will play number 10 as Fomba drops back. After Nathan Andre’s disappointing last outing, Hicham Aidir’s back in up front too.

189 1 21 formations.png

25 minutes in we are looking good. Very good. Outstanding even. In particular, 2 Auxerrois favourites, Hicham Aidir and Phil Foden, are linking up beautifully. Celsiney originally plays a long ball up the pitch, which Aidir cushions down for Foden just inside the Rennais half. Foden dribbles past his man and lays the ball back to Aidir, who surges forward through the left channel. He looks up and spots Foden arriving at the back stick, swings in an absolute peach of a cross and the Stopfordian, who is scoring a really disproportionate amount of headers for a 5’6″ playmaker this season, nods us into the lead. Brilliant play.

Unfortunately we’re quickly undone when Foulquier’s whipped cross is half volleyed in at the near post by Cuissance after the half hour, but we keep playing our beautiful football. Just before the break we put together another great, slick move down the right wing, with Foden, Celsiney McCarthy and Sissako linking together a series of one-touch passes to get us up to the Rennais penalty area. Sissako’s the one that finds the ball at his feet on the edge of the box and shoots for the right hand side of goal, whereupon Rennais’ goalkeeper Diallo lets the ball slip through his fingers. It’s a shame in a way that such a fantastic move ends with a goalkeeping error, but the ball’s in the back of the net either way. 2-1.

As we approach the hour we narrowly miss out on a third goal when McCarthy tees up Aidir with a header and Aidir controls the ball on his knee before blasting a volley at goal. Diallo makes up for his earlier error with a great stop, but can only parry the ball into the path of Phil Foden – Who volleys wide of the near post.

A few minutes later we do manage a third though – Another fantastic move, this time down the left involving McCarthy, Billy, Ferhat and Aidir. The ball ends up with Ferhat, who drills a cross in from the byline for Aidir to poke in from close range. I celebrate our 2 goal cushion by bringing Gaizka Basauri on for Lamine Fomba and swapping us to a more cautious 4-1-2-3.

With 25 minutes to go we almost find a 4th when Ferhat finds Aidir in the box and the striker has a low shot tipped against the post by Diallo and after Roux comes on for a quick cameo, Dongou heads against the bar in the closing moments. It’s a good 3 points. 3-1.

189 1 22 post.png

Phil Foden and Abdoulaye Sissako are in the Ligue 1 Team of the Week after their contributions to that excellent team performance, although players like Ferhat and Aidir are unlucky to miss out. We showed glimpses of some of the best football I’ve seen from any team I’ve managed in that match.

189 2 1 totw

It’s time for a break from the league though as we entertain Ligue 1’s 3rd place team FC Lorient in the 4th round of the Coupe de la Ligue. As I keep saying, another cup run is the aim and getting over this hurdle should really get us in the mood to go far.

189 2 2 lorient build up

189 2 4 preview

Saying that, we’ve got some tired legs in the squad and some players that need some football, so I’m making a few changes: Celsiney, Mike Kakuba, Abi Sissako and Phil Foden drop out and are replaced by Issa Samba, Captiste, Loïc Goujon and Alessandro Bassani. Otherwise it’s the same system and the same lineup. Let’s have more of what we saw last time out please, boys.

189 2 5 formations.png

An excellent start for Auxerre! It’s not quite the beautiful football I wanted, but in the 8th minute, Fabian McCarthy swings a dangerous looking corner into the box and Abdoulaye Doucouré shoves Fomba to the floor, giving away a spot kick. On his return to the team, of course Captiste takes responsibility. He places the ball down, counts his steps back, rolls up his socks and runs up. He blasts it towards Delestrain’s left – And the keeper pulls off a LeGod-esque save to deny him. Well never fucking mind, then.

Luckily, we do still take the lead in the 20th minute after an absolutely superb diagonal ball from Alessandro Bassani sets Aidir up in the box. The Moroccan lets the ball bounce and then drills it towards the near post, with Delestrain only able to get fingertips to the shot as it squeezes into the net.

6 minutes later Corallo breaks down the left wing and has an opportunity to shoot from a narrow angle but opts to square it across for Dominici instead. Dominici, perhaps surprised by his team mate’s decision, can only shoot straight at Lenogue, who tips it against the post to maintain our lead. A few minutes later Ferhat has a similar opportunity, bursting down the left and pulling the ball back to the edge of the 6 yard box. If anything we’re too well represented in the Lorient box though and Fomba’s shot is blocked by Aidir’s ankles when he can’t move out of the way.

We should definitely have scored that one and Lorient make us pay with 7 minutes to play of the first half, when McCarthy’s caught in possession and Neal Maupay plays a lovely dinked pass with the outside of his foot, straight into the path of team mate Khidrian, who controls it well and simply tucks the ball past Lenogue. Just in case we didn’t catch that message, Guendouzi’s long ball is flicked on first by Corallo, then by Abdoulaye Doucouré, leaving Neal Maupay to slide in a goal of his own. What on Earth’s just happened? Suddenly we’re 1-2 down.

The second half’s nothing to shout about really. Raf and Roux replace Fomba and McCarthy at half time and Zoun comes on for Ferhat for the last 20-odd minutes, but we continue to trail. Augustin Rostand makes a cameo for the last 18 minutes for the visitors, but as the game trundles towards the end, we look buried at the 4th round.

But cometh the hour, cometh the man. Picture the scene if you will: 80 minutes on the clock and a restless crowd of around 7,000 are doing nothing to spur on their struggling team. Suddenly Auxerre win a throw in on the left, level with the Lorient penalty box. Billy throws to Goujon… Back to Billy… Back to Goujon, who turns inside… Squares it to the edge of the area… Mathis Roux takes a touch, turning to face goal from 20 yards. The 16 year old gets the ball out of his feet, takes aim and absolutely smashes the ball past Delestrain’s outstretched right glove.

Screen Shot 2018-09-06 at 19.31.50

This lad. This brilliant fucking lad. Mathis Roux and his first Auxerre goal (That wasn’t ruled out for offside by some joyless arse holes with their “rule book”) have put us right back in the game. 2-2.

Rostand actually comes close to taking the lead back for his team 5 minutes from the end when a long ball from Guendouzi gets him away from the knackered Captiste, but when he runs through on goal and fires low, Lenogue pulls off a good save, which is hopefully a sign of things to come. The crowd are back in a more buoyant mood as the referee calls time on the 90 minutes and takes us straight into a penalty shootout.

Mamadou Doucouré is the first man up to the spot, right in from of the home fans. Mamadou’s not had the best luck with penalties at Auxerre, but all streaks end somewhere. His ends today. Go on Mamadou, take it, son.

Saved. Powerful but central. For fucks sake.

Augustin Rostand. Don’t you dare. This isn’t the time for you to get one over on old Franjo in this weird occasional side-narrative we’ve got going on.

SAVED! Too central! LeGod has arrived! Get in!

Raf. Dependable Raf. Sparingly used, but solid and consistent. Get us off the mark mate.

SCORES! Rolled into the bottom right beyond the keeper’s reach. I can’t believe I nearly let him go in the Summer. Raf never lets you down. 1-0.

Juncà for Lorient… Come on, Xavier. Juncà runs up, left footed, central again…

SAVED! You brilliant, infuriating, ridiculous bastard, LeGod!

Hicham Aidir steps up. The last time he took a penalty for Auxerre he missed 2 during last season’s goal drought. As I’ve said, all streaks end somewhere. It’d be nice if you proved me right, Hicham.

SCORES! Firmly planted in the left hand side of the net! He’s well a truly back! 2-0!

Neal Maupay. I don’t really have anything to say about this, other than…

Scores. Of course he does. Powerful and slightly off centre to the left, into the roof of the net. Great striker. 2-1 after 3 penalties each.

Goujon now. The chicken Goujon himself. Dependable? Fairly. Unpredictable? Fairly. Dedicated? Absolutely. Will he score?

SCORES! YES! Drilled right down the middle! Get in, Loïc! 3-1.

Abdoulaye Doucouré, who gave away the penalty that we squandered earlier in the match.

Scores. Low and not so powerful. Lenogue gets a hand to it, but can’t keep it out. 3-2.

Captiste. Well, now it really is squeaky bum time, isn’t it. He’s usually dependable from the spot and seems to almost find the net through sheer willpower alone. He’s been undone once tonight, but not again. You hear me, skipper? Not again.

Saved. A carbon fucking copy of his earlier penalty. Blasted to Delestrain’s left but a fantastic save gives Lorient the opportunity to draw level.

Khidrian for Lorient, scorer of the equalising goal. He can do the same again here as a miss will see Auxerre through to the next round, but a goal would tie things up.

Scores. Low and powerful into the bottom right corner. 3-3 after 5 penalties each.

Zoun. I’ll be honest, my friend, I’d rather it hadn’t come to this point. He’s either brilliant or anonymous and is probably one of the most inconsistent players in the squad. He’s had a bit of an upturn in the last few months though, so I’m hopeful. Go on Zoun. Go on… Wait, is your name Roland?

Misses. Wide of the right hand post. Oh dear.

Gouendouzi to win the game for Lorient and complete the turnaround.

SAVED! Not enough power and not far enough into the corner! Poor penalty but that’s another notch in Lenogue’s gloves!

Billy steps up. When it gets to the 7th penalty, all bets are off really, aren’t they. I have absolutely no idea how good Billy is at penalties.

SCORES! The keeper dives too soon and Billy pumps it right down the centre! 4-3!

Nicolas must score to keep Lorient in it. I’ve got no fingernails left to bite.

Scores. Sends Lenogue the wrong way and plants one right in the bottom left corner. 4-4 after 7 each.

Issa Samba. Ever dependable and now with something to prove since the emergence of Celsiney. Go on, Issa.

Saved. It’s a good penalty, it really is. Low and powerful to the bottom right, but Delestrain pulls out another good save to tip it around the post.

Djédjé is the latest with the opportunity to win it for the visitors.

Scores. Lenogue goes the right way but the ball flies over his head and out of his reach. 5-4 after 16 penalties. It’s over.

189 2 6 post

Losing on penalties to one of France’s best sides is nothing to be ashamed of. I’m fairly pleased with tonight, apart from that big chunk in the middle of the match where we went missing and shipped 2 goals. Actually, that’s a pretty big “apart from” isn’t it. It happens though. We’re out of the Coupe de la Ligue at the 4th round. I’ll need to go and sleep for about 16 hours after that.

189 3 1 defeat

189 3 3 roux youngest

189 3 2 league

Episode 190 >

The Two Sides Of Nathan Andre (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep188)

It’s just not been his day.

Start from the start with episode 1

< Episode 187

Latest short story – “Three”

“You want to…?”

“Join Bayern Munich, yes.” He replies. I nod slowly, waiting for Faouzi Hikem to crack a smile or break into hysterical laughter. This is a wind up. It must be.

“You want to join Bayern Munich.” I clarify.

“I want to join Bayern Munich.” He reiterates.

188 1 1 hikem unh

“It’s interesting, Faouzi, that you want to join Bayern Munich.” I’m still waiting for him to give the game away. This must be a wind up. He frowns.

“Boss, have we established that I want to join Bayern Munich?”

“We have, Faouzi. We have. We have established that you actually want to join Bundesliga serial champions Bayern Munich, regardless of the absence of interest on their part.”

“My agent says they’re interested. She says they’re ready to make an offer in January.” He says indignantly. I smile back at him. I will eat my fucking hat if Bayern Munich make a bid for Faouzi Hikem. I’d need to buy a hat first, but I will if needed. “So I want your word that when they do, you’ll let me go.”

“Absolutely, Faouzi! If Bayern Munich make a bid…”

“When.” He corrects me.

“Sorry. When Bayern Munich make a bid that matches our asking price, I will not stand in your way. You have my word.” He eyes me cautiously.

“And what is my asking price?”

“£15 Million.” Faouzi’s draw drops.

“You can’t be serious. £15M is insane!” Yep, that’s the insane part of this conversation.

“Not for Bayern.” I wink. With an exasperated shake of the head, he stands and walks out of my office. I will eat my fucking hypothetical future hat.

188 1 2 hikem whines

Anyway, my future’s still up in the air as well. Excited at the prospect of moving up in the footballing world, I’ve thrown my hat into a second ring – The vacant Napoli job. My interest’s been leaked to the Italian press since I sent in my CV, but by the sounds of it they’re giving their caretaker manager Marco Ianni a chance to impress anyway before making any decisions.

188 1 3 napoli

188 1 3 napoli applied

Our next match brings Claude Makélélé and his Saint-Étienne side to Stade l’Abbé-Deschamps. They too are enjoying the season so far and sit comfortably in the top half, having accrued 22 points from 16 matches.

188 1 7 preview.png

In the ever-revolving door of Auxerrois suspensions, Doucouré and Sissako will sit this one out, but we do welcome back Hikem, Billy and Fomba after they missed the Nice game. Billy and Fomba come straight back into the team so that Hikem can have a bit of time to work on his vision board and are joined in our starting XI by Mathis Roux and Zoun. Andre and Ferhat drop out. We’re making a couple of tweaks to our system to try and exploit St Étienne’s defensive 1-2-2-3-2 formation too. We’ll bypass the packed central area by focussing down the wings and Loïc Goujon, who usually plays the role of a sitting midfielder, will be far more aggressive and press their central midfield trio with Fomba.

188 1 8 formations.png

What I didn’t expect before the match is for St Étienne, with their shape looking as defensive as it does, to come flying out at us like they do. Amang goes close in just the 3rd minute when his close range poked effort is caught by Lenogue, but then 5 minutes later a Selnæs corner is missed by our keeper and headed in by Lacroix, giving the visitors the lead.

It’s a rough start for Auxerre and it’s not looking like it’ll get any smoother for us. In the 13th minute pacy striker Amang sprints in from the right channel, skips past Sohna and thankfully shanks his shot well wide of the far post.

A few minutes later we do get our first decent chance though when Aidir gives the ball to Zoun, who drives infield and shoots towards the top corner, forcing Maisonnial to dive across goal to tip the ball behind.

In first half injury time, Foden swings a corner in to the near post. Isaac Sohna rises to nod it down and Mike Kakuba’s there to smash a half volley past the keeper and equalise. It’s been nearly 2 and a half years, but Kakuba’s off the mark for Auxerre.

On the hour, I make a triple substitution. It’s a rare move on my part and generally only happens when I’m particularly frustrated. Roux, Zoun and Aidir are brought off and McCarthy, Ferhat and Andre come on in their places.

A few minutes later we see the results. Goujon chests a lofted ball down beautifully 25 yards out and passes to Fomba. He plays it on to Foden, who squares it for Andre on the edge of the box. Spotting the dangerous run of his fellow substitute, Andre plays a pass towards the 6 yard box and Brahim Ferhat appears to stroke the ball into the net.

We revert to a more standard mentality from our usual “Attack, attack, attack!” And with 10 minutes to go, Saint-Étienne look done. They do have half a chance when Krsticevic cuts in from the right and has a pop, but it’s so far wide.

The ball quickly goes up the other end and Goujon plays it in to Andre’s feet. Again Andre looks to the left channel and plays a pass through for Ferhat, who cuts in and smashes one in off the bar. 3-1. Game over.

188 1 9 post.png

188 2 8 pre match.png

With another deserved 3 points in the bag, we power on. I am slightly disconcerted to learn that Hull City manager John Kennedy was in the stands for our win over Saint-Étienne though. He was apparently watching Mathis Roux, who he’s interested in purchasing. I dare him to make an offer. I fucking dare him.

188 2 1 kennedy spotted

188 2 5 roux not for sale

But then a spanner is thrown in the works. A spanner that could well scupper my plan not to go back to England before I’ve tasted true success overseas. Stefano Pioli is sacked by Everton, with the club languishing in 18th place in the Premier League. I’m shocked. Really, actually shocked. This side have been finishing in the top 6 or 7 the last few seasons and they just won the FA Cup in May. Former Toffee Mark Pembridge has taken the reigns while a new manager is found, but feeling almost duty bound to save my boyhood club, I send in my CV. I’ll be honest, I’d rather someone else saves them so that I can continue to postpone my homecoming, but if they say those 3 magic words, I’ll be back at Goodison in a flash.

188 2 2 pioli sacked

188 2 3 everton

188 2 3 everton applied

Curiously, this seems to spur Napoli fans into action. The Italians apparently consider me a leading candidate for the vacant manager’s position. I don’t know if they’re speaking up now to tempt me away from applying for the Everton job or what, but it’s flattering either way.

188 2 7 leading napoli candidate.png

Our next match sends us to face Zlatan Ibrahimovic’s Olympique Lyonnais. I’ve struck up something of an unexpected rivalry with Zlatan since his first match in charge of Valenciennes. We’ve been neck and neck for the majority of the season so far, flitting between 3rd and 5th place with Lorient. Now we and Lorient are 2 points clear of Ibra’s men though and could open up a decent gap today with 3 more.

188 2 9 preview.png

The last match this Lyon side lost was at home against Guingamp, who play the same attacking 4-2-3-1 that we do, so hesitantly I decide to stick with our attacking Project: Meatloaf away against a very tough side. Captiste’s back in full training ahead of this one, but stays out of the squad as he’s lacking fitness and our current centre back partnership is doing OK. Doucouré’s back from suspension and makes the bench. I am making a few changes though: Ferhat and Andre come in as they really shone in the last match and Sissako’s in too after serving his suspension. Zoun, Aidir and Roux miss out.

188 2 10 formations.png

We’re granted a chance in the 13th minute, when Lyon’s veteran keeper Anthony Lopes underhits a short pass intended for Júnior César. Andre nips in to intercept and shoots first time, but squanders the opportunity by blasting the ball wide. After 20 minutes he gets a shot at redemption when Ferhat chips a cross into the middle, but Andre’s looping header lands on the roof of the net.

10 minutes from the break our striker plays a great ball ahead of Phil Foden on the right. Phil sprints clear of the defence and blasts a shot towards the near post, but Lopes parries it behind.

2 minutes later and as inevitably as the tide, Lyon go up the other end and Ríos plays a great reverse pass into the path of Brekalo, who gets goalside of Billy and slots the ball into the far bottom corner. 0-1.

Before the break, goalie Lopes goes across near the right touchline to take a free kick. Once again it’s a woeful kick that barely clears his defence and our number 10 Fomba heads it down for Nathan Andre. Andre turns 40 yards from goal as Lopes scrambles to get back in net. Andre pulls the trigger – Well wide.

I think it’s fair to say that over the last 75 minutes of football we’ve seen the 2 sides of Nathan Andre. Against Saint-Étienne he was electric, creative and dangerous. So far today, he’s been wasteful, wasteful and shit. He’s still young though so that consistency will come in time, but I’d love it if it’d hurry up a tad. I do single him out for encouragement during my half time team talk though. Come on, Nathan.

On the hour, Ríos creates another chance, squaring the ball for Zinchenko, who pokes it into the box for Blanchard, who tucks in his side’s second. Nathan Andre has his head in his hands as he walks off the pitch to be replaced by Hicham Aidir. It’s just not been his day. McCarthy also comes on to replace Fomba.

A few minutes later and with Lyon still in the ascendancy, the result should be put beyond doubt. First Memphis crosses for Blanchard, who hits the bar with a header from point blank range, then Brekalo whips another cross in and this time Blanchard volleys against the still rattling crossbar. We’re extremely lucky to be 0-2 down.

Zoun comes on to replace the anonymous Ferhat as I make my last roll of the dice, but in the 72nd minute Ríos helps on Russo’s pass and Blanchard buries it for 0-3. Game over. But in the bad way this time.

The opportunity for a cherry on top presents itself with a quarter of an hour to play when Sohna trips the excellent Ríos while he dribbles through our area. The referee doesn’t hesitate in pointing to the spot, but when Blanchard steps up looking for his hat trick and shoots low to the bottom right, LeGod steps in to spare our blushes, tipping the ball around the post.

188 2 11 post

So as good as this Auxerre team are (And they are good), I think I may have gone too far the other way compared to last season. On reflection, although it is possible to be too reserved in your playstyle, it probably isn’t wise to set up for an away match against a team full of very good players with an open, attacking mentality. Saying that, better finishing would have definitely helped us today. Message received. Lesson learned. Probably not though.

188 3 2 league

Meta-sode 188.5 >

The 300 Club (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep187)

Nice are our next opponents in what is unbelievably my 300th game in management.

Start from the start with episode 1

< Episode 186

Latest short story – “Blue Eyes”

A poem. Sort of – “Three”

“As you probably know, Monsieur Franjo, Rapid Wien manager Franz Maresch was at Auxerre’s match in Bordeaux, watching Philip if our sources are to be believed.”

187 1 3 maresch spotted

“OK.” I reply, trying to choose my next words carefully. “Before we go into that any further, just let me ask: Where’s Phil’s actual agent?”

“I am Philip’s actual agent, Monsieur Franjo!” Giggles Sylvania.

“But… You’re not though.” I turn to Foden for confirmation, who’s sat on the opposite side of my desk with Sylvania, while Bechkoura watches on silently from beside me. Phil shrugs. “His agent’s name is Steve Leacock. I talked with him when we bought Phil from City, I talked to him when he signed his last contract…”

“You have caught me!” She squeaks. “I am standing in for Monsieur Leacock. He is… Off sick today”. Sylvania winks at me. Not subtly.

“OK… Just know that the only reason that I’m not going to challenge you on that is because I actually fear that by giving me more information, you’ll make me an accomplice to whatever heinous act it sounds like you’ve committed here.” I reply. Sylvania giggles again. “Phil, you’re happy for Sylvania to deal with this, yeah?”

“I suppose.” Says Foden, who then turns to Sylvania. “Do you know when Steve will be back?”

“Mate, Steve’s best chance of a return might be reincarnation at this point, so I wouldn’t think about it too much.” I interject. “How many of my players are you currently ‘representing’ out of interest, Sylvania?” She leans in. Too close.

“Only the finest ones.” She whispers.

“Set you up for that one really, didn’t I?” I smile. She nods enthusiastically. “Anyway, you said something about Rapid Wien’s Manager?”

“YES!” Sylvania shrieks excitedly, making the other 3 of us jump. “So Rapid Wien are interested in purchasing Philip and he is having the finest start to the season, so we would like him to be given a new contr…”

187 1 4 foden unh

“25 grand a week.” I interject again. Bechkoura, who’d chosen to take this opportunity to have a sip from his cup of coffee, splutters and turns towards me, eyes wide.

“Can I have a word, Boss?”

“No, it’s alright.” I turn back to Sylvania. “Obviously you can get into the nitty gritty of it with the legal team, but £25k should do it? Happy with that, Phil?”

Boss”, hisses Bechkoura, leaning in to whisper into my ear. “Nobody’s earning 25 grand a week. Not even Vidal earned that much.” I turn to face him again.

“I know.” Back to Foden. “Well?”

Phil smiles nervously as his eyes dart between me and Bechkoura. “Yeah, sounds good.” Sylvania whips out a forefinger quick as a flash and holds it over the playmaker’s mouth.

“We will consider it.” She says, quietly.

“Sylvania, did you learn how to play hardball?” I grin. “Where was this attitude when you were breaking my door down with a bonus paddling pool?” She smiles that cheshire cat smile.

“I have learnt many things, Monsieur Franjo. We will consider it.” And with one last giggle she grabs Phil quite forcefully under the armpit and drags him out of my office.

“Like how to be an agent, apparently.” I laugh quietly to Bechkoura once she’s out of earshot. He turns to me with disbelief on his face.

“25 grand a week?”

“He’d be worth it.” I shrug. “But I know Sylvania, don’t worry. He’ll probably end up on less than he’s on now but with a trampoline thrown in or something.”

187 1 8 foden new deal

Screen Shot 2018-09-03 at 19.46.04.png

187 1 9 foden happy

Screen Shot 2018-09-03 at 20.29.43
Foden, previously Auxerre’s 3rd highest player on £13,750 per week, becomes our highest.

Quite a few things have happened since I came back from France duty actually. Captiste’s gone and strained his back, which isn’t ideal as he’ll miss a few weeks. Luckily though, Isaac Sohna and Mamadou Doucouré are both available and in pretty good form, so we should be alright.

187 1 7 captiste inj.png

Chancel Kasongo’s now officially a Congolese footballer after making his debut as a 64th minute substitute in DR Congo’s 4-0 win over Botswana, putting in a pretty anonymous performance. The top performers from the international break were Xavier Lenogue, who picked up 2 clean sheets in Martinique’s 2 1-0 wins over Trinidad & Tobago and Montserrat and Zoun, who in Burkina Faso’s 3-2 aggregate win over Angola scored a goal and played well in the first leg, before giving a decent showing in the second.

The draw for the 4th round of the Coupe de la Ligue is made too, with Auxerre given a fairly decent draw at home against Lorient, a fixture that we recently won 1-0. I’d fancy our chances.

187 1 10 cdll draw

187 1 11 draw

Faouzi Hikem wants to discuss a move to a bigger club again, which I have to admit is starting to get on my nerves. A quick chat in the treatment room with Captiste sees him drop his concerns, but I’m really starting to come around to the idea of parting with Faouzi.

187 1 12 hikem unh

187 1 13 hikem happy

So a quite eventful couple of weeks all in all. With no France matches currently scheduled though, all eyes are now firmly on Auxerre’s league campaign as we get back into the action with a home match against mid-table Lille.

187 1 15 preview.png

I’m making a few changes based on the Bordeaux match: Aside from Captiste obviously dropping out through injury, Issa Samba, Gaizka Basauri and Zoun all had poor games, so Mamadou Doucouré, Celsiney, Loïc Goujon and Brahim Ferhat all come in, with Celsiney making his first start of the season.

187 1 16 formations

It’s great to be back. In the 18th minute Sissako picks out our speedy full back Celsiney on the right wing, who whips a cross onto the boot of Captain Hicham Aidir, who volleys us into the lead from just outside the 6 yard box. Good lad, Hicham. I’m over the moon that he appears to have found his scoring boots this season.

A few minutes later it could be 2. Auxerre’s new highest paid player Phil Foden swings a corner in from the left and Luca Zidane comes out but misses his punch, leaving Goujon with an open goal to aim at. Goujon heads it, but just misses the far post. In the 26th minute we go close again when Doucouré’s cross is cleared by Bertrand but only as far as big Phil, who squares the ball for Andre on the edge of the box. Andre plays a fantastic ball in to Aidir’s feet on the 6 yard box and the Moroccan goes for his 2nd, but shoots straight at Zidane, who manages to parry the ball behind.

The match continues in a similar vein as Lille continue to struggle to deal with a rejuvenated Auxerre team. Probably the most pleasing thing for me is just how good Celsiney looks and how comfortable. Just into the second half he receives the ball from Andre and floats a superb cross to the far post for Ferhat. He should score from close range, but heads against the bar. A minute later, Foden chips the ball to Aidir on the edge of the box and he absolutely whallops the ball against the crossbar as Lille miraculously keep the deficit at 1 goal. Luckily for us though, Phil Foden’s the fastest to react and with the crossbar still rattling he blasts the rebound past the keeper. Today is the 25th of November 2023 and Phil Foden has just scored his 6th league goal of the season, equalling his tally from the entire 2022/23 season.

That’s pretty much that for this match. Roux comes on for a run out replacing Goujon for 25 minutes and Teixeira actually goes close deep into injury time but Lenogue pulls off a good low save to keep our clean sheet intact. 2-0 and our 4 best players are Phil Foden, Isaac Sohna, Hicham Aidir and Player of the Match Celsiney. It’s a good day.

187 1 17 post.png

Our right back also gets in the Ligue 1 Team of the Week for the very first time. I’m absolutely delighted with him, so Issa Samba really needs to up his game, because he’s suddenly got serious competition.

187 2 5 totw.png

Going all the way back to Rapid Wien for a second though, they aren’t the only club that have started to come sniffing around this over-performing Auxerre side’s brightest talents. Hicham Aidir is wanted by Freiburg, while Brahim Ferhat is being chased by… Erm… Real Madrid. I get Sylvania on the phone and quickly hammer out some new long term deals. I would offer one to Nathan Andre, but he’s still not bowled over by his playing time this season and so is unwilling to commit just yet. Aidir and Ferhat both sign though, as does Celsiney, because obviously.

It’s been a while since I mentioned my own future though. I’ve been patiently keeping an open mind this year and a potential destination has now emerged: Russian Premier Division leaders Zenit St Petersburg are currently without a manager after Alexandre Semenov left to take charge of Russia, who were knocked out of Euro 2024 qualifying by Macedonia. Couldn’t do both jobs simultaneously, eh? Part timer. I send in my CV. My objective in the Summer was to find a club that’d allow me to challenge for silverware and Zenit are certainly that.

187 2 9 zenit applied

187 2 9 zenit

While I wait to hear back from Zenit Chairman Alexandr Dyukov, I’ve still got a job to do in Auxerre. Nice are our next opponents in what is unbelievably my 300th game in management.

187 2 8 300 games187 2 8 300 games 2

Nice are 9 points behind us currently but are not to be underestimated. I have my eye on one player of theirs in particular – Wylan Cyprien, who really impressed me for France, after which I naturally left him out of my next 2 squads. He’s got the potential to run the midfield for Nice and we need to be careful of him.

187 2 11 preview.png

Left backs Faouzi Hikem and Billy are both suspended for this one, which is pretty annoying. Fomba is too, but I wasn’t planning on starting him anyway. Mike Kakuba’s the man who gets the nod to make his first league appearance of the season, replacing Hikem in an otherwise unchanged starting XI and joins Isaac Sohna in central defence, while Doucouré moves out to left back. I’m not sure if I’ve ever played Mamadou as a full back before but he’s accustomed to the position so he should be fine. Today’s not only my 300th match as a manager either, it’s also Loïc Goujon’s 200th appearance for his boyhood club. The 27 year old is exactly the type of player that lads like Celsiney and Roux should be looking towards for inspiration: Auxerre through and through.

Screen Shot 2018-09-03 at 21.24.05.png

187 2 12 formations.png

I admit that I might have gotten carried away with the narrative before the match. Nice quickly let Loïc and I know that this is not going to be an easy game. In the 7th minute, Godefroy loops a cross in from the right, Kone cushions the ball down and Bonaventura volleys in from 6 yards out. Before the 10 minute mark, they double it too. An either extremely well practised or extremely fortunate corner routine sees Bonaventura cross the ball in, Abi head it down, Koziello volley it goalwards and Fathi make sure with another close range volley. 0-2 at 10 minutes.

We go close to pulling one back 10 minutes later when Foden’s corner is headed away by Koziello, but Kakuba heads the ball viciously towards the goal. With the keeper beaten, Vidal throws himself in the way and deflects it behind. After half an hour, Godefroy dribbles forward through the centre and chips a superb ball towards the 6 yard box for Bonaventura to run onto. He latches on and smacks the ball against the foot of the post before Celsiney hoofs it clear.

I have some stern words to say at half time and they seem to have an immediate impact – Straight after the restart we win a throw in on the left, close to the Nice penalty area. Doucouré throws to Andre, who gives it back and our makeshift left back launches a cross in towards the far post. Up leaps Phil bloody Foden to head us back into the game. Worth every penny.

Just before the hour, Kone plays a good ball into the box for Abi and the striker tests Lenogue with a powerful shot from 8 yards, but our keeper’s equal to it. I make a double substitution straight afterwards, with Mathis Roux and Zoun replacing Andre and Ferhat. The change works like a charm. With 20 minutes to play another Doucouré cross from the left is headed back into the fray by Vidal and tees up perfectly for Zoun, who drills it low. The ball pinballs through the 6 yard box off Souquet and Cardinale, before nestling in the back of the net. 2-fucking-2 and Zoun claims the goal. Good lad.

We tighten up towards the end as Nice throw everything at us in an attempt to take their lead back. 5 minutes from the whistle, Bosetti wriggles free of Sohna and manages a shot from the edge of the box, but it’s not much of a problem for Lenogue. A few minutes later though, Valente throws the ball in from the right wing for Toral. Toral turns, gets a yard on Goujon and fires one from 25 yards – Right into the far bottom corner. It’s a really, really good finish. But after our fight back, it’s so fucking cruel. 2-3.

187 2 13 post

I think we’ve built up enough good grace with fans and board alike not to let a defeat like this dishearten us. Lorient and Lyon have both sneaked above us, leaving us in 5th place, but considering where we thought we’d be before the season started, we’re still having a fucking whale of a time. With the club steadily creeping back onto solid financial ground, a new generation of youngsters prepped to come through and Auxerre flying high in the league, I think I could hypothetically leave l’AJA with my head held high should an offer come in for me. We’ll see.

187 3 1 league

Episode 188 >

Ruthless (Franjo – A Journeyman Story – Ep186)

I’m so sorry.

Start from the start with episode 1

< Episode 185

Latest ‘short story’ – “A Limerick”

Really churning them out at the minute – “Blue Eyes”

“You’ve dropped Lopez? How come?”

“I’m sorry?”

“Maxime Lopez! He’s scored 1 and assisted 1 in 17 minutes! He should be the first name in this squad!”

“Bechkoura, you’d really better be joking.”

“Look…” My assistant says, condescendingly putting a hand on my shoulder. “The French public love Lopez, he’s a revelation! You need to pick him for the squad.”

“I will sack you right now if you’re serious, you know that?”

Bechkoura grins. “You get very snappy around squad announcement days, Boss. Have you tried meditation? Or yoga?”

“Both in fact, yes.” I reply. He watches me expectantly, clearly waiting for elaboration. I sigh, before continuing: “A man with my attention span doesn’t react well to being told to do nothing but breathe.”

“It shows.” Bechkoura grins again.

“Haven’t you got a desk you should be clearing out?”

“Not today!” He beams, before practically waltzing out of my office.

I always assumed that being the head coach of the French National team would be more… I don’t know… Serious.

186 1 10 announced.png

Squad-wise for the Liechtenstein and Georgia matches, I’m bringing in a few more fresh faces, even though Lopez hasn’t quite made the cut for reasons I’ll come to a minute. In terms of my goalkeepers, Maxence Prévot is left out, which I feel a bit shit about, really. He still hasn’t made his International bow despite joining up with the squad twice. I don’t know though, there’s just something about him that doesn’t convince me. Plus, we have much younger and much more talented replacements ready to come in. Such as François Jarry. François hasn’t played much over the last few years for Espanyol, but at 20 years old he’s got a big move to Galatasaray and has been really impressive, so he could be in line for a debut.

Goalkeepers: Alphonse Areola (Swansea City), Lionel Gauthier (FC Sochaux), François Jarry (Galatasaray)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

I’m only making the one change in defence too and that’s to bring Theo Hernández back in for Benjamin Mendy. Now that Theo’s in the mix, we’ve got 3 top quality left backs to choose from and besides the fact that Theo’s 3 years younger than the other 2, he’s been playing far more regularly at club level than Mendy recently.

Defenders: Djibril Sidibé, Corentin Tolisso, Theo Hernández (All AS Monaco), Raphaël Varane (Real Madrid), Dayot Upamecano (FC Porto), Aymeric Laporte (Chelsea), Samuel Umtiti (FC Barcelona), Lucas Digne (Manchester City)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

I’m making 3 changes in midfield: Lopez makes way, as do Abdoulaye Sissako and Lamine Fomba, none of whom have been overly impressive in recent weeks although they haven’t been awful. With Kylien Mbappé back to fitness, Antoine Griezmann back to form and Club Brugge’s uncapped, 26 year old ball winner Lucas Tousart putting in very consistent performances in Belgium, I want all 3 in the squad.

Midfielders: Adrien Rabiot, Tiémoué Bakayoko, Kylien Mbappé (All AS Monaco), Lucas Tousart (Club Brugge), Francis Coquelin (AC Milan), Kingsley Coman, Paul Pogba (Both Manchester United), Ousmane Dembélé (FC Barcelona), Thomas Lemar (Manchester City)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Although I’m not sure anymore who I want to play up front between Antoine Griezmann and Kylien Mbappé, I still wanted to keep the other 2 strikers in the squad for backup. Neal Maupay goes and gets injured just after I announce the squad though, so he’s replaced by Hervin Ongenda.

Strikers: Antoine Griezmann (Atlético Madrid), Moussa Dembélé (Espanyol), Hervin Ongenda (Standard Liège)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

186 1 9 squad.png

I station myself in the Stade l’Abbé-Deschamps car park before the match, making sure to shake hands with every player and staff member that steps off the Liechtenstein team bus. We are colossal favourites for this match but I want my former side to feel as welcome at the Stade Saint-Symphorien as we did at the Rheinpark.

186 1 16 build up

186 1 20 preview

Against Liechtenstein’s 4-4-2, we’ll have Areola in net, Sidibé, Varane, Laporte and Theo across the back, Rabiot and Bakayoko in midfield, with Lemar, Pogba and Mbappé behind Griezmann. I do consider keeping Mbappé up front but to be fair, his place in the squad is absolutely nailed on, while I want to give Antoine every chance to impress me.

186 1 21 formations

I give Mario Frick another sympathetic smile and he laughs and shrugs back once more. I don’t think either of us are surprised. 30 seconds in, Griezmann turns on the edge of the box and passes to Mbappé, who steps across Göppel and clips the ball into the top corner. Theo volleys in his first France goal before 5 minutes have passed too, after Mbappé flicks on Lemar’s corner for him.

On 20 minutes, it’s 3-0. Lemar smacks a 20 yard free kick against the bar, it bounces back and Mbappé’s the quickest on the scene to tap in the rebound. By the half hour, it’s 5. First Lemar’s corner is headed in by Pogba, then Rabiot passes the ball forward to Mbappé, who spins past Stauffiger and drills in from a narrow angle to complete his half hour hat trick. This is ruthless.

Over the next few minutes, 5 becomes 6 when Pogba flicks on Lemar’s free kick and Mbappé leathers it home on the half volley and then 6 becomes 7 when Lemar sprints down the left and drills a cross in for Griezmann to tuck away at the near post.

7-0 would be quite enough of a lead by half time, but my lads aren’t done just yet. Another charging run by Lemar down the left wing, a cross into the centre and a push by Stauffiger on Mbappé results in a penalty, which Kylien converts himself, firmly into the top left corner to complete a rare “glut” of goals. Moments later it could well be 9, but another Lemar run and another dangerous cross is met by Pogba, who heads the ball onto the roof of the net from 6 yards out.

At 8-0 the whistle is mercifully blown by the referee though and I honestly don’t know whether to head into the home changing rooms to praise my team or the away changing room to console theirs. I opt for the former and decide to actually make a double sub, with Jarry and Tousart given half a match to impress on their international debuts in place of Areola and Bakayoko.

What would you say if I told you that within the first 10 minutes of the second half, Liechtenstein pull the scores back to 8-8?

You’d be rather surprised, I imagine. Well that was a fun exercise, wasn’t it? Anyway, in the 52nd minute, Griezmann tees up Rabiot, who rifles the ball in from the edge of the area for 9-0. On the hour, a Sidibé cross is volleyed in off the bar by Antoine Griezmann to get us into double figures and then 10 minutes from the end, Mbappé gets an individual ovation as he’s replaced by Ousmane Dembélé.

In the 85th minute, Lemar spins away down the right wing and drills in yet another cross, which Lo Russo makes a mess of and can only tip against the post. The ball rolls across the line and Griezmann tries to get there to complete his hat trick, but he’s beaten to it by Marco Stauffiger, who is just not having a good day. Stauffiger skews his clearance and smacks the ball into the back of the net to make the final score an ungentlemanly 11-0.

186 1 22 post

With that, we’ve mathematically qualified for Euro 2024, not that that was ever in much doubt. We’ve had a fairly easy group, but as the old saying goes: “You can only beat what’s in front of you. Mercilessly.”

186 2 1 qualify.png

That result also eclipses France’s record scoreline, which was set in the Euro 96 qualifiers over 28 years ago when we beat Azerbaijan 10-0. I say “we”, but I had very little to do with that result to be honest. I was focussing more on memorising the alphabet at the time. Either way, I’m so sorry, Liechtenstein. Still, at least I’ve finally written them into the history books.

186 2 5 biggest win

The records continue to tumble though and surprise surprise it’s Kylien Mbappé that’s breaking them. He’s scored 13 goals for France this calendar year, which breaks the 11 that Paul Pogba scored in 2018. Pogba also had the record for the number of goals in a single game, a hat trick against Czech Republic, which Mbappé has just eclipsed with 5.

186 2 6 mbappe breaks record

186 2 7 mbappe record

186 2 13 pre match.png

Let’s wrap up this qualifying campaign then by making it 8 wins out of 8, shall we? We make the trip to Georgia with the French team in an extremely good mood. It’s a dead rubber, as Georgia are safe 3 points above Albania, who have already played all 8 matches. Bosnia and Liechtenstein are… Not a threat to them with 6 and 0 points respectively.

186 2 10 build up

186 2 14 preview

I’m mixing it up a bit for this one. Jarry and Tousart both make their full debuts and will get the full 90 minutes, along with Upamecano, Ongenda and Moussa Dembélé. Areola, Varane, Bakayoko, Pogba and Griezmann all drop out as they could all do with a bit of a rest before they return to their clubs. Kylien Mbappé takes the armband and leads his country out for the first time.

186 2 15 formations.png

8 minutes in, I’m already getting quite pessimistic about Tousart’s prospects at this level. He picks up a booking for a professional foul, which is his 2nd yellow card in a 53 minute international career. I know my Auxerre lads get booked a lot but that seems a bit silly. Just afterwards though, Lemar picks out Sidibé making one of his ever so consistent overlapping runs. The full back whips the ball across goal and captain Mbappé taps it in. Wait, I can do something with this. A cappé Mbappé tappé? Mcappy tappy? I’ll work on it. A minute later, Lemar bends a 20 yard free kick into the top right to effectively wrap the game up before the 10 minute mark.

Just after the 20 minute mark, Lucas Tousart writes himself back into my good books. Dembélé’s cross is blocked and it bounces back to the perhaps overly aggressive midfielder, who half volleys it low and hard into the corner of the net. I’m a sucker for a well struck goal from outside the box. Before the half hour Theo’s long ball is flicked on by Ongenda’s heel for Dembélé, who plays it on first time for Mbappé. Of course he finds the far top corner for 4-0.

Georgia strike back with goals either side of half time and both are eerily similar: Tsintsadze plays a long ball over the top of our high line, Arabidze latches on, shrugs off his marker and fires low past Jarry. 4-2.

Tolisso replaces Rabiot on the hour and a few minutes later we score a 5th, when Ongenda lays the ball off for that man Mbappé, who smacks it over the goalkeeper and into the roof of the net from the edge of the box. We go close again not long after when our skipper plays the ball through for Dembélé, but he can only drag his shot just wide. Lemar’s low cross 5 minutes from time deflects back to the substitute Tolisso on the edge of the area and he lashes the ball into the net to complete our qualifying campaign in style. 6-2.

186 2 16 post.png

We’ve completed our qualifying campaign with 8 wins, 39 goals scored and 6 conceded. Of course, that is with the huge caveat that our group didn’t really contain a real threat to us, but still. Nice.

Both us and Georgia will be joined at the competition by Joachim Löw’s Germany and Marijan Vlak’s Croatia from Group A, Eddie Howe’s England and Dariusz Banasik’s Poland from Group B, Illya Galyuza’s Ukraine and Igor Angelovski’s Macedonia from Group C, Jurrie Koolhof’s Netherlands and Gordon Strachan’s Scotland from Group D, Anders Jensen’s Denmark and Filip Daems’ Belgium from Group E, Ersun Yanal’s Turkey and Urs Meier’s Switzerland from Group G, José Barros’ Portugal from Group H, Slavisa Jokanovic’s Serbia and Ovidia Stinga’s Romania from Group I and finally Marcelino’s Spain and Karel Jarolim’s Czech Republic from Group J.

See you at Euro 2024, lads.

186 3 5 duty ends

186 3 6 league186 3 6 league 2186 3 6 league 3186 3 6 league 4

Episode 187 >

Kasongo For Congo (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep185)

So disappointed.

Start from the start with episode 1

< Episode 184

Latest short story – “Steve Walked To Town”

It’s been a short story-heavy few days, hasn’t it? – “A Limerick”

“This is more like it, Antoine!” I cry towards the TV, as Antoine Griezmann skilfully flicks the ball on for one of his Atléti team mates. His form’s picked up considerably in the last couple of weeks and the media are calling for his return to the France squad ahead of yet another international break in a couple of weeks. I’ve got to say I agree.

185 1 1 girezmann deserves recall

185 1 2 griezmann

Before we can think about France duty though, we’ve got a Coupe de la Ligue 3rd round match against Bourg-en-Bresse to deal with. I’m a bit torn about my selection for this one to be honest. On one hand, our performances in the last couple of games have been pretty shocking so I’d like to make changes. On another hand, I want another cup run so I want to play the strongest team possible. But on a third, superfluous hand, it’s our so-called “strongest team” that’s been sub-par, so we probably do have to make changes.

185 1 4 preview.png

Hikem and Goujon are suspended, which at this point is a sentence that carries all the shock value of one of those “The Northern rail service from X to Y will be delayed by approximately just long enough that it ruins your day but also makes you ineligible for reimbursement on your ticket” announcements. But all in all I’m making 8 changes from our last match, including handing a debut to goalkeeper Vladimir, after Lenogue almost cost us 2 points at the weekend with an absolute howler. Mike Kakuba and Isaac Sohna make their first appearances of the season between Samba and Billy in defence, Sissako partners Basauri in midfield and Foden, Zoun and Aidir come into the front line, with Andre moving back into the number 10 position.

185 1 5 formations.png

I’m starting to notice that you can tell whether Auxerre are really up for the match by how threatening we look in the first 20 minutes and I’m not sure how I feel about that. I mean, today it’s fantastic. We’re clearly up for this one as within 2 minutes, Foden’s corner is cushioned down by Sohna for Basauri, who volleys the ball against Viennet’s face. It bounces back and is promptly Di Canio’d into the the top corner by Zoun’s left foot. 1-0.

Viennet’s looking to avenge the big football sized red mark on his face when he dribbles from his own half to the edge of our box a couple of minutes later, but he shoots comfortably wide.

Auxerre are 2-0 up before we’ve even played 7 minutes – Hadzic tries a long ball from his own half but only succeeds in smacking it against teammate Dramé, after which the ball bounces back towards the Bourg box. Hicham Aidir’s fastest to react and dribbles it through on goal, before drilling it low into the corner.

Although I am slightly wary after our near-collapse against Guingamp, when Foden pulls it back from the right byline and Andre lashes in our 3rd just after the 10 minute mark, the game’s surely over.

For that reason, when we reach half time with our lead intact, I make a triple substitution: Issa Samba, Abdoulaye Sissako and Nathan Andre, the only 3 that started our last match, are rested and replaced by Celsiney, who makes his debut for the season, Fabien McCarthy and Mathis Roux.

Bourg come back into the game a bit after the break, with Lallemand hitting the post with a driven cross on the hour, then sending Saïd clean through with a clever round-the-corner pass 10 minutes later. Saïd slots the ball under Lenogue for 3-1.

We retreat slightly to a more standard mentality and try to retain possession to see the game out, but we almost add a 4th a minute later when Zoun releases Aidir in behind the defence with a good pass, but the big Moroccan hits the post.

A couple of minutes later, Bourg are well and truly done. Billy wins the ball cleanly from the pretty impressive Lallemand, but the frustrated winger throws a needless elbow into our left back’s face and earns a straight red card. Silly lad.

Both teams go reasonably close in the closing minutes, with Celsiney too hitting the post with a cross before Attah drives a shot just wide of Vlad’s net, but the match ends 3-1 and our progression to the 4th round is secured.

185 1 6 post.png

Bourg manager and long time personal rival Laurent Roussey wisely plays down suggestions of Auxerre’s overly physical playstyle after the match. I’m asked the same ridiculous questions and cite Lallemand’s wandering elbow in my response.

185 2 3 physical

185 2 4 physical 2

Moving on, Auxerre still lead the way in terms of developing Ligue 1 talent by an absolute mile: We’ve produced 26 players currently playing in the league, 8 more than our closest competitors Monaco.

185 2 5 development ligue 1.png

Next is a visit from AC Ajaccio, who are sat pretty safely in midtable after a decent start to the season. We’ve just dispatched one of the teams we were promoted with though, so let’s go for the double.

185 2 7 preview.png

Isaac Sohna really impressed me against Bourg, so he keeps his place as Captiste comes back in alongside him. Lenogue’s also back in for Vlad as I just can’t stay mad at him for very long, while Hikem replaces Billy. Otherwise it’s the same team. Our front 4 were particularly impressive in the last match too and I’m delighted to say that Zoun was the best of the lot. Keep it going, mate.

185 2 8 formations.png

Contrary to my revelation in the last match, we don’t threaten for the first 10 minutes but then take the lead in the 21st minute through a Phil Foden right-of-centre, curling, 25 yard free kick to the top corner. He does pick up a bit of a dead leg before half time though, but he seems alright so he plays on.

Just into the second half, Ohana floats a cross into our box from the right byline and Jovane leaps to head the ball goalwards, but Lenogue rescues us with a great diving save to bat the ball behind. Kavcic’s resultant corner is pretty good, but Padoan wastes it by heading over.

With 20 minutes to play and the score still tight, we win a corner on the right and Foden whips it in towards the 6 yard box. Zoun, playing like a man possessed at the minute, makes sure he gets there first and heads at goal. Mandanda’s beaten but Conforto’s on the far post to head the ball off the line.

Once again, we retreat slightly and try to kill the game off with slow possession football. McCarthy also comes on replacing Aidir and moves into the hole so that Andre can go up front. The added quality on the ball that McCarthy gives us should help us to keep possession.

The change very nearly pays off with 5 minutes left when McCarthy carries the ball into the final third and slips Andre in behind Ajaccio’s defence, but the Frenchman drags his shot just wide. Bassani makes a late cameo in a defensive 4-1-4-1 and we see the game out to claim 3 more excellent points.

185 2 9 post.png

Phil Foden’s dead leg will only keep him out of action for a couple of days, which is good news as he’s been in great form since his return to the team.

185 3 1 foden inj.png

Our latest unhappy camper is Florian Ayé though, who justifiably feels like he isn’t playing enough football. I feel sorry for the lad, I really do, but he’s not getting in this team. I think I made my feelings more than clear at the back end of last season when I chose to crowbar Phil Foden in or take a chance on teenage Brahim Ferhat as the lone striker instead of him. I tell Florian I’m happy to sell him in January so that he can go and get more playing time, but he changes his mind and wants to stay. Fair enough.

185 3 3 aye fine.png

As the latest international squads are announced, one name in particular catches my eye: Chancel Kasongo is joining up with the DR Congo squad. I let out a weary sigh. About 6 months ago, if I’d had been able to name a 24 man squad, he would’ve been a French international. But a calamitous start to the season with Lokeren combined with the attitude he showed me in the Summer tells me that this is probably for the best. I mean yes, Kasongo for Congo has a better ring to it, but you could’ve been so much more, Chancel. So disappointed.

Our last match before the break will be played in Matmut Atlantique, the same stadium where we play most of our games for France. A trip to Bordeaux is by no means an easy one as they’ve started pretty well and are sitting in 8th place. 7 points behind us, by the way, but who’s counting? We go unchanged, because why on Earth would we not?

185 3 5 preview

185 3 6 formations

So close in the first minute! Nathan Andre gets the ball out of his feet on the half way line and lobs a great ball over the top for Zoun, who nips into the box alone but shoots into the side netting.

6 minutes later though, we find the bloody lead again! Nathan Andre jinks past Fuchs and feeds Aidir in the centre, who takes a touch, turns and fires a powerful shot past Dimitrievski at his near post. The keeper should probably do better, but I’m not complaining.

Just as we’re starting to look unstoppable though, Bordeaux’s 6’4″ anti-winger Nabil Abdellaoui, on loan from Monaco, blasts his way past Faouzi Hikem, whips a cross to the near post and Amath heads in the equaliser.

Bordeaux have a couple of chances in the first half to make it 2-0 as well: First Verde surges down the left wing and crosses for Abdellaoui, who heads it inches wide, then Verde sprints down the wing again and goes straight for goal, forcing an acrobatic save from Lenogue to tip the ball over. We go on the counter as we’re not coping well with Bordeaux’s quick attacks down the wings.

The end of the first half and the start of the second are promising enough, with Bordeaux nullified slightly and the teams looking more even. On the hour though, Ben Osborn swings a corner in and Sissako jumps unfairly with Gabriel, forcing the referee to point to the spot.

I’m not actually nervous in the slightest when Verde steps up to take the penalty. I’ve got full confidence in Lenogue at this point, but Verde absolutely smashes the ball into the top left corner. Not even LeGod can save us this time. To be fair to him though, he was definitely due. I don’t think he’s let in a penalty since the CDLL semi-final.

We freshen things up after falling behind by bringing on Ferhat and Bassani for Foden and Zoun, then Roux for Basauri with 15 minutes to play. We go back on the attack with 10 minutes to play and put together some decent moves, but in the final moments of the game one such attack breaks down and Bordeaux counter through a long ball from Rajkovic. Amath latches on down the left wing and turns inside into the box. He hurdles the challenge from Captiste and then hurdles another from Sissako! The lad’s footwork is absolutely mesmerising and I’m actually quite enjoying watching him humiliate my defence. Issa Samba isn’t though, so he fucking clatters him, conceding another penalty and earning himself a yellow.

Verde smashes the ball into the bottom left from 12 yards, just beyond Lenogue’s fingertips and puts the game to bed at 1-3. The better team’s won today.

185 3 7 post

It’s time to get back on a plane for more Euro 2024 qualifying matches with France, but I’m honestly quite reluctant to leave Auxerre. We’re looking good, we’re getting results and we’ve won half of our opening 14 matches, leaving us as the best of the rest in 3rd.

I’m reminded of my thought process during Leicester City’s 2015/16 season: “They’ll drop off soon… Yep, definitely not long now until they drop off… This form definitely can’t last until the end of the season…”

Look how that turned out.

185 4 1 league

Episode 186 >

Slapstick (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep184)

Get your slide whistles ready.

Start from the start with episode 1

< Episode 183

Latest short story – “Listen To This”

Scratch that – Even latest-er short story – “Steve Walked To Town”

If there’s one thing I didn’t expect to say in my career, it’s that I’ve just agreed to sign my 2nd player from Ivorian side Académie de Football Amadou Diallo. This sackful of syllables, you might remember, produced a certain gem named Joël Soumahoro and as I’m not bowled over by the goalkeeping options that our own academy has produced, I’ve arranged to take 17 year old Ivory Coast U20 international Ibrahima Gaye off their hands when his contract expires on the 2nd of January 2024.

184 1 7 gaye.png

He may not be a future world beater and I don’t think he’ll break into the side during my tenure at Auxerre, but Ibra definitely has potential. He’s 6’3″, has decent reach, handling, reflexes, is good at one-on-ones and is a brave, driven young chap. Plus as he’s currently on a whopping £4 a week, he jumps at the chance of coming to a big league on a comparatively massive salary. Initial compensation of £130k is agreed with the Ivorians, who I’d imagine either really love me or really don’t.

184 1 6 gaye agrees.png

There’s more good news on the International front: Auxerre’s contingent played quite a bit over the international break and again, Sissako and McCarthy impressed, with McCarthy grabbing another goal for South Africa in their win over Mali.

Nathan Andre’s unhappy again though. He still wants more regular football, so now that Aidir’s officially up and running but is also running hot and cold, I agree to give Nathan more time up front, starting today when we take on Ligue 1’s bottom team Stade Brestois.

184 1 4 andre unh.png

It probably won’t shock you to learn that I’d like another professional performance here today. Yes, they’re 20th, but all that does is make a little voice in my head scream “Look out for the banana skin!” over and over again like an extra in a poorly funded slapstick comedy film.

184 1 9 preview.png

I’m making a couple of changes from our last game – Mathis Roux’s going to drop back out of the XI and is replaced by Abdoulaye Sissako, who’ll drop back and allow Lamine Fomba a go in the number 10 role. Nathan Andre’s in over Aidir as I attempt to keep him sweet and after his huge impact in the Lorient game, Alessandro Bassani will start over Phil Foden, who misses out on the starting XI for the first time this season.

184 1 10 formations.png

It’s a slow burner of a first half. Brahim Ferhat has a decent effort skim the outside of the post after half an hour, but the first really good chance falls to Stade Brestois when the brilliantly named Bryan Pelé sprints down the left wing, turns Samba and crosses to the far post. Sané’s completely unmarked on the right hand side of the area and chips the ball in for Gori, who should score but turns the ball against the post.

After a half time team talk that I treat with all the caution of a man trying to sneak closer to a baby deer that could get spooked and flee any second but is also armed with a fully automatic machine gun, we head back out for the second half. I think I’d actually take a draw in this one. We’ve not been great so far but I suppose neither have the hosts.

And hey presto, I’ve fucking jinxed us. 10 minutes after the restart, Bryan Pelé once again gets the better of Samba down the wing and this time whips in a cross to the near post. Gori, keen to miss another golden chance, heads the ball straight at Xavier Lenogue, but from only a yard or so away, our keeper can only flap his arms and parry it into the net. We have successfully stepped on the banana skin. Get your slide whistles ready.

A minute or so later it could be 2. Captiste’s caught on the ball uncharacteristically high up the field and Bryan Pelé takes full advantage, launching a ball into our extremely spacious defensive line. Krecek latches on, runs through and shoots, but Lenogue parries this one behind.

Disappointed, I bring Bassani off and replace him with Foden on the hour and then McCarthy comes on for Fomba 10 minutes later. With 5 minutes to go though we’ve still not shown any sort of quality in the final 3rd. Until we do. Sissako slides the ball onto the right wing for Samba, who whips it across the 6 yard box and Ferhat’s there at the far side to half volley in the equaliser. Slide whistles away.

With mere seconds left in the match though, we’re undone once more. Mitrovic plays a nice little pass through for D’Amico, who slots the ball calmly under Lenogue at his near post. Call Sideshow Mel. Order more slide whistles. For fucks sake.

184 1 11 post.png

184 2 1 pre match.png

I’m not in the mood to dwell on that result whatsoever, so let’s move on rapidly. FC Sochaux-Montbé are next up and we go unchanged. They’re doing pretty shit and we’d better win.

184 2 2 preview

184 2 3 formations

We do at least start brighter in this match. In the first 17 minutes, first Captiste has a chance after Hikem’s corner comes out to him and he forces a good save from Leo Gauthier with a half-volley, then as a result of some lovely one-touch football between Hikem, Bassani and Goujon on the left, we work the ball over to Sissako, who dribbles to the edge of the area and forces another good save from the young French international.

With half an hour gone, we do manage to beat Leo though. Sissako feeds the ball to Nathan Andre on the edge of the box, he turns his marker and curls a nice shot into the bottom corner. This is more like it. 1-0.

We take our narrow lead into half time but it’s taken from us within 8 minutes of the second period when Ianni sends a flat cross towards the near post, Lenogue comes out of his net to claim it but runs the wrong fucking way and Valencio heads into the open net at the near post.

After that it’s a lot of the same as what I saw against Stade Brestois: Decent ball retention, decent football, no quality in the final third. Ferhat does hit the bar with a cross on the hour, but I don’t think we can count that as an actual chance. On 65 minutes, Foden, Zoun and Aidir all come on for Bassani, Ferhat and Fomba, with Andre moving to the “behind the striker” role, but it doesn’t do much good.

But then, out of the clear blue Auxerre sky in the 90th minute, a hero emerges. With Sochaux penned back into their own defensive third to try and nullify us, Loïc Goujon passes the ball to Zoun, who’s 25 yards out in the centre of the pitch. Zoun turns, looks up, draws back that infuriatingly inconsistent right peg and lashes a superb shot into the far top corner.

We fall back and defend through injury time and come away with the 3 points, whereupon I breathe a huge sigh of relief. I suppose that makes up for conceding so late last match, so I’ll stop sulking now. To raise my mood even further, this win actually lifts us above Zlatan’s Lyon into 3rd place. He’ll bloody hate that.

184 2 4 post

184 3 1 league

Episode 185 >

To The Max (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep183)

“This is Florian Thauvin all over again, Franjo.”

Start from the start with episode 1

< Episode 182

Newest Short Story – “Listen To This”

183 1 13 duty begins

“You can’t.”

“I beg your fucking pardon?”

“You can’t!” Says Bechkoura stubbornly. “You absolutely cannot call a Ligue 2 player up for France! The World Champions!”

“Well then I must be sacked on the spot David, as that’s exactly what I’ve done, isn’t it.”

“I actually wouldn’t be that surprised.” He says, exasperatedly. “You’ve left out Griezmann again for fucks sake, so that you can call up this ‘Gomez’…”

“Lopez.” I correct him. “It’s Maxime Lopez.”

183 1 4 surprise call ups.png

“This is Florian Thauvin all over again, Franjo.”

“Hey!” I shoot him a stern look. “We agreed not to mention Florian Thauvin. Besides it’s nothing like that and stop ‘forgetting’ his name like he’s a complete unknown. His team’s the top of the league, they’ll be in Ligue 1 next year. We both know it.”

“You need to be careful.” Bechkoura looks very serious now. “The public aren’t complaining because you’re winning. Against far lesser teams, but winning all the same. One bad result could blow up in your face if the team’s full of Auxerre and Ligue 2 players.”

“We’ll see.”

183 1 10 build up.png

Yes, so you can imagine what the papers have been saying this week. “Making a mockery of the national team”, “No respect for the shirt” etc. It’s water off a duck’s back though. Or water off a drake’s back. I grew up during a period of English football where a team chock full of international superstars from the top clubs in the land would offer precisely fuck all on the pitch, so I’m of the mindset that if someone’s putting in the performances, they deserve a shot. And vice versa.

183 1 11 focus

We’ve got just the one change in terms of goalies in the squad: Alphonse Areola and the as yet untried Maxence Prévot keep their places but Loïc Badiashile’s replaced by Leo Gauthier, who’s picked up a bit for Sochaux.

Goalkeepers: Alphonse Areola (Swansea City), Lionel Gauthier (FC Sochaux), Maxence Prévot (Stoke City)

Our defence, quite rarely, remains completely untouched from our last get together.

Defenders: Djibril Sidibé, Corentin Tolisso (Both AS Monaco), Raphaël Varane (Real Madrid), Dayot Upamecano (FC Porto), Aymeric Laporte (Chelsea), Samuel Umtiti (Barcelona), Lucas Digne (Manchester City), Benjamin Mendy (Atlético Madrid)

It’s in midfield where all the real changes are: Wylan Cyprien is left out despite an excellent debut as his club form’s dropped off and others have stepped up. Theo Hernández and Kylien Mbappé are out too. Kylien’s picked up a stress fracture on his back so my hand’s forced on that one, while Theo’s not playing much for Monaco. The aforementioned Lopez is in, alongside Adrien Rabiot and Ousmane Dembélé, who’s yet to really impress me but still has potential to be important for us.

Midfielders: Adrien Rabiot, Tiémoué Bakayoko (Both AS Monaco), Abdoulaye Sissako, Lamine Fomba (Both AJ Auxerre), Francis Coquelin (AC Milan), Kingsley Coman, Paul Pogba (Both Manchester United), Ousmane Dembélé (Barcelona), Thomas Lemar (Manchester City), Maxime Lopez (Stade de Reims)

Up front, I’m not bringing Hervin Ongenda for these matches, preferring to give his spot to Neal Maupay despite his pretty anonymous performance in Lorient’s 1-0 loss to Auxerre.

Strikers: Moussa Dembélé (Espanyol), Neal Maupay (FC Lorient)

Screen Shot 2018-08-28 at 20.09.47

I’m granted a golden opportunity to get in a cheeky dig in at Liverpool before our first match of the break. Manager Antonio Conté tells the press that centre back Clement Lenglet deserves a place in my squad, but I tell them with tongue firmly in cheek that a move to a bigger club would help his chances.

183 1 15 preview.png

It’s time to welcome Bosnia to Matmut Atlantique though and I’m fielding a strong team to hopefully secure another comfortable victory: Areola’s in net and will be guarded by Sidibé, Varane, Laporte and Digne. Tolisso and Rabiot will be our midfield duo while Coman, Pogba and Lemar start behind Moussa Dembélé. Captain Pogba by the way could become France’s all time top goalscorer today, as he currently sits level with Thierry Henry on 51 goals.

183 1 16 formations.png

A perfect start. 40 seconds in, Digne’s driven cross from the left finds it way through to Adrien Rabiot on the edge of the box. The midfielder leathers the ball into the bottom corner to announce his return to the French squad.

Bosnia look strong at the back and we don’t have our usual flurry of first half chances. The closest we go to grabbing another goal is after half an hour when Pogba releases Lemar on the right, the City winger dribbles into the box and pulls the ball back for Moussa Dembélé, but the striker’s shot is tipped against the post by Piric.

There’s a chance at the other end a few minutes later when Stojanovic gets down the left and whips a cross in for Bihorac, who slips between our centre backs and hits the post with a close range header. The ball comes back around for Kozulj to have a crack, but our goalscorer Rabiot’s reacts quickly to slide in and deflect the shot wide.

We settle for the 1 goal lead at the break, having been really frustrated by Bosnia’s stubborn defence not allowing us to build up a head of steam and after an hour passes the scoreline stays the same. Neal Maupay and Lamine Fomba come on to try and inject some pace and creativity into our ranks, with Dembélé and Tolisso making way.

In the 77th minute, Coman cuts in from the left wing and dinks a nice ball right onto Pogba’s boot just inside the box. This is his chance for the record and to secure the win. Fomba takes it on the volley – Straight at Piric, who holds on. A few seconds later we get another chance when Sidibé wins the ball in midfield and curls a great pass behind the defence for Maupay to run after. He takes it towards goal and shoots towards the near post, but another good save from Piric denies him.

With 12 minutes to play I ignore Bechkoura, who I can feel staring daggers towards me, substitute Pogba and hand a first cap to Maxime Lopez in the number 10 spot. Pogba throws the armband to Varane and runs down the tunnel without so much as a glance towards me, so that’s going to be fun to deal with later.

I love football though. Not just because it’s so deeply ingrained in me at this point, but also because for all of the times that everything blows up in your face, every once in a while, everything comes together perfectly. In the 86th minute, Kingsley Coman plays a one-two with Lopez and receives the ball at a narrow angle to goal on the left, before slotting it home for 2-0. Lopez registers a debut assist to secure the win. Brilliant little bastard.

Masic misses a glaring opportunity with a couple of minutes to go by heading just wide from 6 yards out, but soon after the final whistle blows. It’s not the comfortable win I was looking for, but it’s a win.

183 1 18 post.png

183 2 8 pre match.png

We fly off the a couple of days later to take on Albania on their turf. I’m rotating the squad almost entirely for this one as some of the players could use a bit of a rest. Only Areola, Sidibé, Pogba and Coman remain in the side, joined by Upamecano, Umtiti, Mendy, Sissako, Bakayoko, Ousmane Dembélé and Maupay.

183 2 9 preview

183 2 10 formations

Maybe I am letting this squad slide too much, you know. The first half is drab and although we threaten quite a few times, they aren’t good chances. The breakthrough finally comes in the 42nd minute, but unfortunately it’s at the wrong end. Manaj finds a way past Sidibé on the left with some good footwork and crosses the ball in perfectly for Ahmedi to volley into the bottom corner from 12 yards. 0-1 to Albania. Oh dear. I can feel those daggers from Bechkoura again.

Fortunately the lead doesn’t last very long. When in doubt, this France squad mainly just pass it out to Sidibé on the wing and so they do in the 45th minute. The full back gets to the byline and shows fantastic vision to slide a pass back through the crowded area to find Bakayoko on the edge of the box, who toe pokes in the equaliser.

On the other side of the break, a Pogba free kick is swung into Albania’s box from the left wing, Samuel Umtiti jumps for the ball and is pushed by Taulant Xhaka. The referee points to the spot and up steps captain Pogba to become France’s all time top goalscorer. Pogba places the ball on the spot, counts his steps back carefully, runs up – And slides it straight down the middle as the keeper dives out of the way.

From there, Albanian heads drop all over the place and within 5 minutes we’re 3-1 up when Maupay holds the ball up 20 yards out and rolls it back for Bakayoko. The scorer of our first goal takes a touch to get it out of his feet and then loops a thunderous shot over the keeper and into the far top corner of the net. It’s a thing of beauty.

Tolisso and Lemar make sub appearances 20 minutes from time to rest Sidibé and Coman and then Pogba comes off with 5 minutes to go to get the individual ovation he deserves for his achievement. Yes he’s “only” scored a penalty, but you can’t argue with the numbers: 127 caps, 52 goals. Paul fucking Pogba. Lopez comes on again.

With 3 minutes of normal time to play, Ousmane Dembélé finds Tolisso bounding down the right on the overlap and the Monaco man swings a cross in towards the penalty spot. Who should meet it? Prolific striker Neal Maupay? World class winger Thomas Lemar? Bakayoko, the ball winner on a hat trick? Wrong, wrong and wrong. There on the penalty spot to leap and head the ball into the back of the net is Stade de Reims’ 5’6″ playmaker Maxime Lopez. Written off before he’d kicked a ball in the French jersey, Maxime’s now got a goal and an assist in a glittering 17 minute international career.

Vindication blanket once again snugly across my shoulders, I turn to Bechkoura and smile. After a second of reluctance, he laughs and shakes his head. “You lucky bastard.”

183 2 12 post.png

183 3 6 duty ends

183 3 4 league

Episode 184 >

A Landmark (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep182)

I’ve reached 100 matches at a club for the first time in my career.

Start from the start with episode 1

< Episode 181

182 1 1 totw.png

“PSG are just another team.” My words reverberate around the changing room walls. “Yes, they have fatter wallets and yes, they have more trophies…”

“…More potent strikers…” Ponders Bechkoura aloud.

“…A far more skilful midfield…” Offers Foden.

“Yes thanks, lads.” I say loudly, trying to wrestle back control. “I was actually trying to make a…”

“…Fantastic defenders…” Breathes Issa Samba, staring wistfully into space and derailing me once again. Slowly, everyone turns to look at Xavier Lenogue.

“What?” He furrows his brow at the sudden attention.

“Look.” I say even louder. “Yes. Fine. They have all of those things, but they’re still flawed human beings playing the same bloody game we are. Flawed humans that put their shinnies on one at a time, snag their shirts on door handles and go to the loo just like anyone else. This is our chance to snatch a result, lads. We’re in form and we’re playing wonderful football. We can bloody do this!” A long silent pause follows.

“I heard that the shit emoji was based on an actual shit that Ruben Neves took once.” Mutters McCarthy.

“That’s the spirit…” I sigh. “Good luck, lads.”

182 1 3 preview.png

Project: “Sword” is back for today’s visit of Pep’s Paris Saint-Germain. I meant every word I just said to the lads in that I truly believe we can pull off an upset today. PSG are one of only 3 teams that have started the season better than AJ Auxerre. In terms of our line up, I’m gutted to report that Abdoulaye Sissako misses out for picking up a suspension after his last yellow card, but I’m putting my faith in Gaizka Basauri and Loïc Goujon, who replaces Brahim Ferhat. Once again, Foden starts up front alongside Hicham Aidir in our revised “2 up front” variation on the system.

182 1 4 formations.png

I’m cautiously optimistic after a quiet opening 20 minutes, in which the only chance comes from an aimless Samba clearance that’s picked up by Amadou Diawara, brought to the edge of the box and shot straight at Lenogue. Unfortunately my optimism goes up in smoke in the 21st minute, when Veiga’s free kick is headed clear by Captiste as far as Ricardo Ibarra, who collects it on the right wing. The centre back drives a cross to the edge of the box, where left winger Orlando’s on hand to volley the ball into the top right corner.

With 10 minutes to go until the break, it should be 0-2. Fomba receives the ball about 35 yards from our goal but Veiga’s ultra aggressive pressing forces Lamine to turn back. And keep going. With Veiga still snapping at the midfielder’s heels on the edge of our own box, he lays the ball back to Goujon near the right byline and Veiga snaps into action, now pressing and quickly winning the ball from our holding man. I watch on mouth agape as the playmaker slides the ball across the box for Alvaro Morata, who hits it first time – Wide of the near post from 6 yards. He should definitely have hit the back of the net.

We regroup at the break though and continue to limit the Parisians in the second half with the score close at 0-1. With 20 minutes to go, I make my move. Mathis Roux and Nathan Andre come on as like for like replacements for Foden and Aidir. They work like a charm too when with 15 minutes to play, Lato swings a cross in for Veiga, who helps it on to Coutinho, who’s only just on the pitch himself. With his first touch, he drives the ball high above Lenogue’s finger tips. Oh, did I say my substitutes worked like a charm? I meant I hate everything. The match ends 0-2.

182 1 5 post.png

I’m disappointed, but we press on. We’ve still got 2 chances to win against one of the big clubs. Isaac Sohna’s the unhappy customer of the week and I do get where he’s coming from, wanting first team football. So far I’ve stuck religiously to 3 of my back 4 and for the most part they’ve served us very well. Like with Andre a couple of weeks ago, I tell Isaac that he’ll get his chance this season and he seems OK.

I believe my next match will be a first for me: I’ve reached 100 matches at a club for the first time in my career. Poor Auxerre. It seems fitting that on such a milestone, we’re taking on a club that I still consider our main rival: Bourg-en-Bresse.

182 2 1 100 for auxerre182 2 1 100 for auxerre 2

A trip to Bourg has the potential to get us back on track after our loss against the Ligue 1 runners up, but I’m still not getting over-confident. Bourg sit in 16th, having lost half of their 8 matches but if our last few meetings are anything to go by, they’ll put up a decent scrap.

182 2 6 preview.png

I’m bringing Project: Meatloaf back in to try and take the fight to our hosts, with Brahim Ferhat coming in to replace Basauri and retaking his place on the left wing. We’re without Mike Kakuba, who bruises a rib the day before and Vlad, who’s got the sniffles, but neither are in my plans for this one anyway. It’s worth noting that we’ll have a bit of a battle of the Ferhats on one side today, with Brahim coming up against fellow Algerian fullback-turned-winger Zinedine. Let’s hope our lad comes up trumps.

182 2 4 kakuba inj.png

182 2 7 formations.png

The first action of the game sees Viennet drive at our defence, turning Captiste inside out before laying the ball off for Gatta on the left. One return ball later, Viennet finds himself in all kinda of space inside the box and curls a shot into the bottom corner of Lenogue’s goal. He comes forward again in the 12th minute but thankfully his shot is caught by Lenogue.

The Auxerre team almost seem offended by the goal and start to play better and better football in the following minutes. A few minutes later, Ferhat plays a cheeky pass to find McCarthy in space, which is followed by a superb long diagonal ball onto the right for Foden. Phil cuts the ball across from the byline and Hicham Aidir’s on hand to level the scores from close range.

5 minutes later though Bourg go close to retaking the lead. Zinedine Ferhat leaves Billy for dead with a fantastic burst of pace, sprints to the byline and squares the ball for Viennet, but he’s denied his 2nd goal thanks to a great reflex save by Lenogue. The rest of the half lives up to my expectations of tight, scrappy football. The second half’s much of the same, with the best chances coming from Brahim Ferhat, whose edge of the box shot is parried clear by Fabri and Viennet’s shot in injury time that misses the mark by quite some distance. Roux, Bassani and Zoun all come on but have little effect. My 100th match ends at 1-1 and I think both sides will come away from an even game happy with the point.

182 2 8 post.png

182 3 2 pre match.png

Ahead of another international break, a host of our players are called up once again, including Abdoulaye Sissako and Lamine Fomba, whose early season form continues to impress me. They’ll be joined in jetting off by Serge Bamba (Ivory Coast U20), Hassan Derhem (Morocco U20), Faouzi Hikem (Algeria), Hicham Aidir and Billy (Morocco), Fabian McCarthy (South Africa), Xavier Lenogue (Martinique), Mike Kakuba (Uganda), Zoun (Burkina Faso), Raf (Madagascar) and Isaac Sohna (Cameroon).

Speaking of international football, PSG and Lyon have produced the most footballers (8) currently playing for the French National team, but Auxerre are in the discussion with 4. 3 of which I’ve called up myself. Sue me.

182 3 1 leading producers of nat team.png

Before we prepare for the visit of Bosnia though, we’ve got a tough match against FC Lorient to think about. We beat them in our first match back in Ligue 1 but in our only encounter since, Neal Maupay turned us over and helped his side defeat us 0-2. After a good start to this season, Lorient are sat 1 point and 1 place above us in 4th. Neal’s in my squad for the upcoming France matches and not scoring against us would do wonders for his chances of playing. I’m joking of course, I’m not that petty. Or am I? Let’s find out.

182 3 3 preview.png

We go with an almost unchanged team from the Bourg game, with the exceptions of Faouzi Hikem, who returns at left back as Billy’s suspended and Mathis Roux, who’ll start his first Ligue 1 game in place of Fabian McCarthy. McCarthy’s had a bit of a weird start to the campaign to be honest. He’s played some fantastic Hollywood passes and set up a fair few goals, but that’s where his contribution starts and ends really, so I’m open to letting Roux make a case for the number 10 spot after some good substitute performances. Curiously after my mini-meltdown after the Guingamp game, I’ve still not seen a reason to reintroduce Abdoulaye Sissako to the team due to the good form of Fomba and Goujon, who incidentally is unlucky not to have been called up to one of my French squads yet.

182 3 4 formations.png

The first half is drab. The only chance of note is created after 20 minutes and comes from a route one long ball from Lenogue, which is nodded on by Ferhat and picked up by Aidir, who drives past João Pedro but shoots into the Delestrain’s arms.

The second half starts a bit brighter and I’m impressed by the determination that Lamine Fomba’s showing me. He loses the ball in midfield but chases full pelt after Santos to win it back, before switching the play with a great ball onto the left for Ferhat. Ferhat passes inside for Aidir, who chips a nice pass over towards Foden, cutting in from the right. Foden shoots from a narrow angle but Delestrain’s there again to parry it behind.

Unfortunately, after threatening to do precisely fuck all for over an hour, Maupay goes for the ball from a Bryan corner but is pushed over in the box by Loïc Goujon. Lorient have a penalty. At the same time, Augustin Rostand comes on for the visitors, the striker that I tried to sign for Santos over Hicham Aidir. He’s not scored a senior goal in over 18 months. Sliding doors.

182 3 5 rostand.png

It isn’t Rostand that steps up to take the penalty but Lorient captain Cafú. I don’t know why I’m worried though. He hits the ball low and firm to LeGod’s left, but of course the keeper dives and stretches out a big gloved paw to keep the ball out. He really is remarkable. We’re not clear yet though and as we’re not really creating anything of note, Foden and Aidir are withdrawn to be replaced by Alessandro Bassani and Nathan Andre with 20 minutes to go.

Within 2 minutes Andre makes an impact, making a dangerous driving run at the Lorient defence, forcing the visitors’ substitute centre back Barry to bring him down with a cynical challenge just outside the box. With no particularly established free kick taker on the field, I watch with interest as Bassani and Roux stand over the dead ball and wait for the referee to blow his whistle. The stadium falls eerily quiet as the wall is rearranged at Delestrain’s behest and the ref counts out the 10 yards. Satisfied, he blows the whistle. It’s Bassani that starts his run up… He hits it – INTO THE TOP CORNER!

The stewards struggle to hold back the home fans from spilling onto the pitch as the Italian born winger slides on his knees towards the corner flag, before almost immediately disappearing under a pile of Auxerre players. Alessandro Bassani, perhaps the most unlikely hero of the day, curled a fantastic shot into the top corner from 20 yards. Delestrain got a hand to it but could do nothing to stop its trajectory.

We immediately retreat to a defensive 4-1-4-1 and manage to see out the remaining 18 minutes to claim our 3 points. Bloody hell. We’ve lost to Monaco and we’ve lost to PSG, but otherwise we’re fucking flying. We’re picking up points left right and centre and we’re 4th going into the 2nd international break of the season. The question that now remains is… How far can we go?

182 3 6 post.png

182 4 2 league.png

Episode 183 >

A Big Mistake (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep181)

B-E-A-Fucking-Utiful.

Start from the start with episode 1

< Episode 180

My taxi drops me straight off at the Centre de Formation in time for training following my flight back from Bordeaux. No rest for the wicked and all that. I’m feeling good though. Clear headed. This time last season I would’ve spent the entire International break fretting about Auxerre and desperately trying to find the seasoned holding man I was after. I don’t feel that this season after Auxerre’s great start to the league campaign and I reckon I’ve been more able to keep my mind on the job for France as a result. I’ve not been the only one off over the last couple weeks though: Several of our players have been away with their nations, with the highlights being Abdoulaye Sissako (Obviously) and Fabian McCarthy, who both got on the scoresheet for their nations.

Meanwhile, our star player so far this year Phil Foden has drawn some very high praise indeed. Basile Boli, who’s something of an icon around these parts, has been talking Phil up for his recent performances.

181 1 4 boli hails foden.png

I also have to have a quick chat with Nathan Andre, who’s unhappy to have started the season as second fiddle to Hicham Aidir. I’m quick to quash his concerns though as I’ve no doubt he’ll be important to us this season. I just want Hicham off to the best start possible.

181 1 7 andre fine.png

And the French Football Express’ annual summation of elite player production at French clubs lists us as the top dog, with 27 Auxerrois graduates currently playing around Europe’s top league (13 are still with us). That’s 2 up from last year when we were joint top with Monaco on 25.

181 1 5 leading producers elite.png

Our next match is one that on paper should be our easiest 3 points of the season as we’re playing last year’s Ligue 2 runners up SC Bastia at home. As we know though, football’s rarely that straight forward and against a side that’s picked up a respectable 5 points from their first 5 matches, I’ll be looking for a professional performance to get us over the line.

181 1 9 preview.png

Fabian McCarthy is back in full training but is not fit enough to start, but we’re without Raf today, who’ll miss about a week with a damaged heel and Hikem, who’s suspended. The only change that I’ll make from our 0-0 draw with Toulouse is to bring Billy into the left side of defence.

180 2 9 raf inj.png

181 1 10 formations.png

We start brightly and in the 8th minute, Brahim Ferhat plays a clever reverse pass into the box for Lamine Fomba, but the new French International fires his first time shot wide of the near post. Less than a minute later we go again though, playing the ball around well in the middle of the park. Hicham Aidir holds it up and waits for an overlapping run from Sissako, after which he releases the other new French International behind the defence. Sissako keeps his head down, keeps his cool and slots the ball into the bottom corner for 1-0.

It should be 2-0 after a quarter of an hour when Sissako finds Issa Samba on the right wing and the full back whips in a dangerous cross. Aidir rises to meet the ball but can only head it against the post. Soon after, Marcus Thuram slips team mate Benézét in behind Doucouré, but the winger skews his shot well wide.

Foden’s looking as confident as you’d expect after Basile Boli’s kind words and just before the half hour he brings a lofted pass under control beautifully with his heel, sidles across midfield and curls the ball ahead of Billy on the left. The Moroccan crosses first time towards the far post and his compatriot Aidir leaps like a salmon to smash a header in off the bar, doubling our lead.

And before half time we surely put the game to bed. This time it’s Fomba that chips the ball onto the left wing for Billy, whose marker leaves him acres of space. Billy goes for a whipped near post cross just to mix things up a bit and Hicham arrives once again to volley in our 3rd.

The second half is a lot quieter, which I put down to both teams already knowing what the result’s going to be. Mathis Roux gets half an hour to impress, while Bassani and Zoun get their 1st and 2nd appearances of the season respectively with 13 minute cameos. Marcus Thuram has a decent chance towards the end but is denied well by Lenogue, before Gilmore gives the visitors a consolation in the 78th minute, smacking in a postage stamp 20 yard free kick. 3-1.

181 1 11 post

That is exactly what I wanted. Well not exactly. A clean sheet would’ve obviously been preferable but we started well, essentially killed the game off before the break and had the composure and concentration to keep Bastia at bay for the majority of the second period. The result also moves us up to 5th, which is just gravy.

181 2 4 pre match.png

Hicham’s rightly inducted into the Team of the Week for his brace, but I’m slightly disappointed that Billy doesn’t make the cut. Even without his 2 assists he did his job to perfection and if he keeps performing like that, Faouzi Hikem might struggle to break back in after his suspension ends.

181 2 1 totw.png

The Coupe de la Ligue 3rd round is drawn mid-week and we’re handed a lip-smacking home tie against Bourg-en-Bresse, who I’m always happy to have an extra opportunity to beat. I’ll be expecting a win, as I want another good cup run this year.

181 2 2 cdll draw

181 2 3 draw

That’s not for about 6 weeks though, during which time we’ll actually play our away match against Bourg in the league. But first we’ve got a trip to Guingamp, who much like our last opponents have had a decent-ish start to 2023/24 and are sat in lower mid-table, having won 2 and lost 3 of their opening 6 games.

181 2 5 preview.png

I know we’re the away team, but I’m sticking with our attacking Project: Meatloaf. We’re in decent form, we’re playing good football and I want us to build up some momentum. Fabian McCarthy comes into the starting XI to replace Loïc Goujon, who’s picked up a one match suspension as a result of his booking in the Bastia game. McCarthy will play behind the striker where he’s looked good, while Fomba will drop back and play as the holding man. Defensive midfield is not exactly his natural game but I have confidence that he can deal with it.

181 2 6 formations.png

As Jim Carrey once said from behind his terrifying green face, “Somebody fucking stop me”. I might have embellished that a bit. We tear out of the traps again, this time taking just 7 minutes to find the opener. McCarthy plays his part by curling a corner in from the left, Fomba cushions the ball down nicely for Captiste, who takes a touch and half-volleys it into the top corner from 12 yards. “B-E-A-Fucking-Utiful.”

20 minutes later, McCarthy finds Ferhat from open play and the wide forward drives threateningly at the Guingamp defence. He lures the centre backs in and then pokes the ball into the resulting space for Aidir, who goes one-on-one with the goalkeeper Milinkovic Savic and chips the ball high out of his reach into the top corner. 2-0 and by our own admittedly low standards in Ligue 1, Auxerre are absolutely on fire.

We nearly imitate last week perfectly by finding a 3rd before the break too. Samba throws the ball in from the right hand side of the box, Foden lays it off for McCarthy and the South African shoots, but his shot’s weak and easy for the keeper to hold. Still, I’ll take 2-0 at the break.

The second half starts similarly too, with neither side looking particularly threatening. The travelling Auxerrois fans are in great voice and are piling the pressure on the home support as we knock the ball around patiently, waiting for another opportunity. I bring Roux on once again on the hour as he’s been quite enjoying his game time and it’s been showing in training. In less than 5 minutes he creates our 3rd, receiving the pass from Aidir, poking the ball around the corner for Ferhat, who gets the wrong side of his marker and drives a shot under Milinkovic Savic at his near post.

I’m ready to call it a day but that goal actually seems to spark some life in the hosts. In the 68th minute, Lamine Fomba switches off following a set piece and allows Adonis to slip away from him to receive a pass from Walter. Adonis shoots but hits the near post. Fomba’s been pretty good today in his new role, but to stop any potential fight back I bring Gaizka Basauri on alongside him, replacing Sissako.

Soon afterwards, it becomes clear that I’ve made a big mistake. With 20 minutes still to play, Samba drifts into the centre to collect the ball and plays a sloppy pass vaguely in the direction of Mathis Roux. Logan Ruiz easily intercepts and plays a long diagonal onto the wing that Samba’s left unattended. Lefeuvre’s got all the time in the world to run down the left and Captiste comes across to try and salvage the situation by closing Lefeuvre down, but that only makes it worse. Guingamp play it around him and into the centre, where Doucouré and Billy are now 2 v 2 against Reijs and Krastev. Billy decides that now would be a good time to add to our defensive comedy of errors by switching off and letting Krastev drift into space, where he can quite safely latch onto Adonis’ pass and volley the ball from close range – Past Lenogue and into the net. After how good we’ve looked so far, I honestly can’t believe how poorly we’ve defended that. I shouldn’t have substituted Sissako. He makes us so much more solid. What was I thinking?! Fomba is the more free and attacking of the pair, Sissako’s the defensive one. The sensible one. The one that keeps the shape and keeps us ticking over. He’s the one that should be partnering Basauri.

Straight from kick off I can tell that something isn’t right. We look absolutely shell shocked. I think the team shares my utter confusion over what just happened. Captiste fires a long ball towards Phil Foden but he’s beaten to it by Vatajelu, who volleys it straight back over the top of our defence. Please no. Reijs brings it down and passes the ball on. Please don’t. And Lobotka volleys in Guingamp’s second.

It suddenly feels extremely warm in the Guingamp Stadium. We’ve actually travelled a few hundred miles West to get here but as the sweat starts creeping down my brow I feel like we’ve been knocked off course and wound up somewhere along the equator. We go into full lockdown, to our defensive 4-1-4-1. I also bring Zoun on to replace Ferhat as a right winger, while Foden takes the left.

With 10 minutes to go and after a thoroughly uncomfortable amount of Guingamp pressure, we concede a corner and the home fans roar their appreciation. The corner comes in, but we manage to clear it and suddenly the shoe is on the other foot. In their desperation, Guingamp have over committed and are light at the back. Mathis Roux picks the ball up and launches it upfield for Phil Foden to chase. Phil brings it down and releases Aidir and it’s the away fans’ turn once again to roar their team on. Aidir sprints into the box, he’s through on goal – And shoots into the side netting. The last 9 or so minutes would be far more enjoyable and far less sweaty if he’d found the net, but we manage to hold on anyway.

181 2 7 post.png

“Bechkoura”, I call after my assistant as I enter the tunnel, heavily resembling Ted Striker towards the end of Airplane. Bechkoura turns and smirks.

“You need a towel, Boss.” He laughs.

“Do me a favour will you?” I ask. He nods. “The next time I tell you I’m going to substitute Abdoulaye Sissako, I want you to react the same way you would if I told you, while pissed up to the eyeballs, that I’m going to drive home.” He smirks again. “Do you understand?” I continue, stone-faced. “Treat me like Darron Gibson. Take those keys out of my fucking hands and don’t give them back until I’m talking sense. And not a complete tit.” Bechkoura nods once more.

“Of course, Boss.”

“Thanks, Bechkoura.” We start to walk back towards the changing rooms.

“Who’s Darron Gibson?” He asks.

“It doesn’t matter, Bechkoura.” I reply. “It absolutely doesn’t matter.”

181 3 1 league.png

Episode 182 >

Back At The Rheinpark (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep180)

Why did it have to be bloody Liechtenstein?

Start from the start with episode 1

< Episode 179

180 1 12 duty begins.png

Liechtenstein away and Georgia at home in the Euro 2024 qualifiers. Liechtenstein. Why did it have to be bloody Liechtenstein? You know what, it’d be the easiest thing in the world to take the France squad that won us the European International League this Summer and stick with the same 23 players, but where’s the fun in that? No, I’m shaking up the national side by picking players on form, apart from Loïc Badiashile, whose season with Fenerbahçe hasn’t kicked off yet but is sort of in by default.

It makes sense to start with our keepers actually, so joining the once capped Badiashile are 2 complete newbies to the international stage: Maxence Prévot, the Stoke keeper who’s cost Alban Lafont his place by ousting him from their club side, and Alphonse Areola, who’s not conceded for Swansea in his last 4 games. Leo Gauthier is left out as he and Sochaux have started the new season poorly, although I maintain that he’s the future of this team.

Goalkeepers: Loïc Badiashile (Fenerbahçe), Maxence Prévot (Stoke City), Alphonse Areola (Swansea City)

I’ve lamented the lack of available right backs at times and with Sebastien Corchia not having stepped onto the pitch for Stoke yet, he’s dropped. Corentin Tolisso can do a job on the right side of defence, but our main man is still his Monaco teammate Djibril Sidibé. The only other change is PSG’s Lucas, who’s left out in favour of the fit again Aymeric Laporte.

Defenders: Djibril Sidibé, Corentin Tolisso (Both AS Monaco), Raphaël Varane (Real Madrid), Dayot Upamecano (FC Porto), Aymeric Laporte (Chelsea), Samuel Umtiti (Barcelona), Lucas Digne (Manchester City), Benjamin Mendy (Atlético Madrid)

I’m excited about the midfield changes. I’ve already mentioned Lamine Fomba and Abdoulaye Sissako’s inclusions. They replace Adrien Rabiot, who’s one of the players that’s started in pretty poor form, and Florian Thauvin, who… The less said about him the better really. Seeing as I’m including Tolisso as a defender, I’ve also got space for another midfielder in the squad. It’s another new face on the International stage too: OGC Nice’s box to boxer Wylan Cyprien. Without a doubt the biggest absentee from this squad is Antoine Griezmann though. My reason for not calling him up is that he too has started the season poorly for Atléti, but the more I think about it, the more I feel like at 32 years old, he could struggle to win back his place if one of our younger players can prove they deserve it more. I would give an opportunity to Anthony Martial as I want him to prove my initial assessment of his skills wrong, but he’s picked up some serious ligament damage and will miss 6-7 months, so instead I make the fairly cynical move of calling up Theo Hernández, the left back or left winger that I want to lock in as French before Spain call him up for another match.

Midfielders: Wylan Cyprien (OGC Nice), Abdoulaye Sissako, Lamine Fomba (Both AJ Auxerre), Tiémoué Bakayoko, Theo Hernández (Both AS Monaco), Francis Coquelin (AC Milan), Kingsley Coman, Paul Pogba (Both Manchester United), Thomas Lemar (Manchester City)

With Griezmann out, I’m thinking of trying Kylien Mbappé out as the lone striker. He loves to play off the wings but I reckon he could really tie everything together if given the central role. Neal Maupay is left out through form and is replaced by Moussa Dembélé, who should have been with us in the Summer and definitely deserves his chance now after scoring 4 times in his first 4 games of the season, putting him in the same bracket as top quality players like big Phil Foden.

Strikers: Kylien Mbappé (AS Monaco), Moussa Dembélé (Espanyol), Hervin Ongenda (Standard Liège)

180 1 5 named squad

180 1 6 fomba in

Antoine Griezmann’s not happy to be dropped, which is predictable enough. I give him a ring though and he eventually concedes that his early season form hasn’t been good enough. As I say, his age is really counting against him so he’ll need to up his game for Atléti to get back into the squad.

It’s good to be back at the Rheinpark but I’m not entirely sure why. It’s not as if I have many happy memories of this place, but I get a twinge of nostalgia all the same. I suppose it’s because all those thrashings as Liechtenstein head coach paved the way for my current position. I see a lot of familiar faces and shake a lot of hands as we make our way off the bus and through the stadium to the visitors’ changing rooms, which are absolutely spotless and not like I remember at all. I even suspect that they’ve been recently painted. It seems Liechtenstein have pulled out all the stops in anticipation of hosting the world champions.

180 1 8 build up

180 1 14 preview

I really am torn. I don’t want to thrash Liechtenstein. I don’t want to make Mario Frick feel that empty hopelessness that comes after pretty much every match in that job. On the other hand though, I want France to rack up a cricket score. I want all those players that are yet to convince me of their merit to play on the biggest stage to put on an absolute clinic and force me to pick them again. We will of course be playing Project: Renaissance and are without only Francis Coquelin, who’s suspended after picking up a yellow card against Portugal. Areola will make his debut in net, my first choice back 4 of Sidibé, Varane, Laporte and Digne are back together, Cyprien gets a debut alongside Bakayoko in midfield, while Lemar, Pogba and Mbappé play behind Dembélé.

180 1 15 formations.png

Oh dear. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. I look over to Frick in the opposite dugout and give him a weak, apologetic smile, which he reciprocates and shrugs. We’ve taken the lead after just 40 seconds. We win a corner straight away and Lemar swings it into the box. Lorenzo Lo Russo, the hosts’ preferred goalkeeper nowadays, comes out and flaps at the ball while Paul Pogba rises high above him and nods it into the net. Oh dear.

France go close to a 2nd in the 7th minute when Lemar dribbles in from the right and unleashes a powerful shot, but the ball grazes the far post as it flies wide. 10 minutes later however we do double our advantage. Wylan Cyprien gathers the ball on the right hand side and whips a cross to the far post, where Mbappé arrives to head it home. It is at least a nice change not to be on the receiving end of one of those after Auxerre’s recent pasting against Monaco.

We win the ball from the dejected Liechtensteiner team straight from kick off and venture forwards again, this time with Cyprien crashing a shot against the bar from 25 yards. 7 minutes or so later it’s 3 though. Another corner is swung in by Thomas Lemar, Pogba brings the ball down and plays it short to Bakayoko, who plays a one-two with Cyprien before placing it into the bottom corner.

With 10 minutes to go before the break, a Lemar free kick arrows straight into the top corner of Lo Russo’s net, further compounding the hosts’ misery. I’m strangely relieved when the whistle is blown at 4-0.

A half time double substitution sees Abdoulaye Sissako and Lamine Fomba make their debuts for the national side, replacing goal scorers Bakayoko and Pogba. I know that I shouldn’t be too proud to see these lads don the French shirt as it’s me who’s given them the chance. But I am proud. They’ve fought for this, they’ve climbed from the murky depths of Ligue 2 for this and they bloody well deserve it. Go on lads.

A few minutes after the restart, Moussa Dembélé receives the ball from Fomba and chips a pass into the box for Lemar, who nonchalantly slots in our 5th goal. Liechtenstein are determined not to roll over though. Mario Frick must have said something pretty inspiring at the break because straight after kick off, Brunner gets down the right wing and crosses in for striker Yanick Frick, who volleys it on the turn but can only rattle the post.

On the hour mark, Mbappé turns inside from the left and hits a beautiful diagonal ball ahead of Lemar, who takes it into the box looking for his hat trick, but shoots straight at Lo Russo. The keeper holds onto the ball and the home fans celebrate like they’ve scored a goal. It makes me smile, I’ve got to say. I suppose football’s a completely different game for countries like Liechtenstein where expectations are so low, so they just enjoy it as best they can. It certainly didn’t feel that way for me though.

A minute later it’s the away fans’ turn to cheer as a new Frenchman is born. Theo Hernández takes to the pitch replacing Kylien Mbappé. I’m pleased we’ve managed to wrestle him away from Spain and I’m sure that over the next few years he’ll take over as France’s starting left back. Not even a minute after the substitution, France are on the attack again too. Sidibé throws the ball in from the right, Lemar turns on the edge of the box and lays it off for… SISSAKO!

I sprint down the touchline to meet Abdoulaye Sissako as the away fans cheer from somewhere behind me. He’s scored on his pissing debut! Absolutely hammered it into the bottom corner from 20 yards! Fomba and the rest of the French team run over to mob Abdoulaye as I wrap an arm around the midfielder’s shoulders. Let the media say what they want about whether his inclusion is deserved, the lad’s got a 1 in 1 scoring record for the national side. Not even that dickhead Peter Crouch can compete with that.

The celebrations die down and the game starts to show signs of fizzling out as we get closer to full time. With 10 minutes to go though, Marcel Büchel plays a clever through ball for substitute Guillaume Khous, who rolls the ball in at Areola’s near post. The Liechtenstein fans are absolutely beside themselves with glee, as are the players and even Mario Frick, who dances away in his technical area. I know full well how precious goals are for the Liechtenstein national side no matter who they’re against, never mind against France. I smile again.

Khous looks nothing like the player I remember and actually could have a hat trick by the time the final whistle blows, first receiving a pass from Wenaweser and smacking the ball first time into the side netting and then being released by Kleber and forcing a good save from Areola in the dying minutes.

Eventually though the ref calls time in a buoyant Rheinpark Stadion. We’ve got a good win, Liechtenstein have something to celebrate and the debutants have all impressed me. I think everyone’s going away pretty happy today.

180 1 16 post.png

180 2 10 pre match

We head back to France after the match to prepare for Monday’s match against Georgia at Bordeaux’s Matmut Atlantique. At the minute there’s a 3-way tie for 1st place in our Euro 24 qualifying group between us, Georgia and Albania. We’re all on 9 points, but with the caveat that we’ve played 3 matches, Albania have played 5 and Georgia 4. A win today would take us 3 points clear with a game in hand.

180 2 6 easy win build up

180 2 11 preview

I’m making a couple of changes to the lineup because we’ve got a few tired players and I see no reason to risk their fitness when we have such great depth. Varane, Laporte, Cyprien and Dembélé all drop out to be replaced by Upamecano, Umtiti, Sissako, who makes his full debut and Coman, who’ll be one of our wing-swapping wide players with Lemar while Mbappé starts up top.

180 2 12 formations.png

We don’t start quite as quickly as we did in the last match, but in the 27th minute we find the breakthrough goal and it’s the same one I’ve seen this France side score time and time again. Coman chips the ball down the right for Sidibé, Sidibé half volleys a cross into the box and Mbappé nods it in. 1-0.

Straight from kick off we win the ball and come forward again though. This time Coman plays it inside for Pogba, who pokes a clever pass through for Mbappé, who wriggles into space from between the 2 Georgian centre backs and blasts in our 2nd. Call it the intuition of a fairly experienced manager, but I have a hunch that Kylien enjoys playing up front.

A few minutes later we should have a 3rd. Sissako finds space on the right wing and fizzes a low cross into the box, Coman controls the ball and helps it on for Lemar, who turns and shoots against the legs of Khocholava. Georgia have a chance of their own before half time, but when Zivzivadze plays Arabidze in behind the defence, the striker runs through and shoots just wide.

On the other side of half time, we find a 3rd goal and there are no prizes for guessing where it comes from. Digne whips a cross in from the left, Mbappé effortlessly brings the ball under control and smacks it into the top corner to complete his hat trick.

Lamine Fomba replaces Sissako just before the hour mark and Hernández replaces Lemar on the wing as I’d like the pair of them to have another chance to impress. With 20 minutes to go though, it’s Paul Pogba running the show. He rolls the ball over to the left wing for Digne and makes a break into the box to meet the full back’s cross at the far post and head in our 4th goal.

Bakayoko takes a bit of a knock soon after so I give Coquelin a cameo in his place, but apart from Hufnagel shooting straight at Areola in the final knockings, that’s that. A comfortable 4-0 win to take us clear at the top of our group.

180 2 13 post.png

I actually find out after the match that 12 wins in a row is a new record in European Championship Qualifying. It’s a nice record to have but this run goes back about 4 and a half years, so I can only really take a third of the credit. These matches have given me plenty to think about though, which is exactly what I wanted from them. Despite not having an awful lot to do, Areola looks good, even though he let in a goal against Liechtenstein. I think that was more to do with how openly we play and how well Liechtenstein were able to counter with Khous’ pace, so I’m not holding that against him. Sissako’s been solid and unphased, Cyprien’s definitely worth keeping in mind for future squads, Dembélé looked good and Mbappé took to the central striker role like a duck to water. And the water’s full of bread. And sexy lady ducks. I guess actually I should’ve said like a drake to water. I’ve completely forgotten what my original point was, but yeah. A lot to think about.

180 3 4 duty ends

180 3 5 league

Episode 181 >

Kasim-piss-off (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep179)

Not for sale, for fucks sake.

Start from the start with episode 1

< Episode 178

“What part of ‘Not for sale’ do you not understand?” I ask, head once again in hands.

“But we will give you up to £550k for Xavier!” Argues Kasimpasa Manager Ender Tras, who’s only bothered to give me a ring himself because I blocked his agent’s number.

“You want to give Xavier Lenogue £550k? As a gift?” I ask, facetiously.

“No…” He sounds confused. “We want to buy Xavier!”

“But he’s not for bleeding sale, is he?! I can’t believe this is taking so long to sink in, it would’ve been easier for me to sell him and buy him back than try to explain this to you!” There’s a few seconds of silence from the other end of the phone.

“…You want to sell him?”

My phone suddenly and very mysteriously flies out of my open office window and onto the path outside, startling a couple of Auxerre staff members that are walking by.

179 1 1 llenogue bid

As frustrating as Kasimpasa’s ongoing interest is, it’s nothing on the news I received from Mathieu Debain this morning. Fabian McCarthy, after an excellent first 3 games of the season, will be kept out for up to a month with the back strain he picked up against Marseille. I really feel for the lad. Whenever he starts to build up some good form something always gets in the way.

178 3 1 mccarthy inj.png

We’ll also be without Hicham Aidir for our next match. I half expected another broken leg after he bagged his first goal of the season, but it’s just a thigh strain and he’ll be back in a few days, as will the so far unused Alessandro Bassani, who’s strained his thigh in solidarity with the striker.

Hikem and Foden are our first entrants of the season in Ligue 1’s Team of the Week. Hikem has been extremely impressive with his work rate, overlapping and crossing so far, although like a few others we need to get him to tighten up at the back. Foden’s inclusion is well deserved too. That hat trick against Nantes has got me optimistic that he’ll be well amongst the goals this year, but his set pieces and link up play have been good too. It seems strange to criticise his finishing after such a good start but he probably should’ve won us the Marseille game.

179 1 2 totw.png

Monaco are our next opponents. It’s a shame that they couldn’t have come later and preserved our run of games without defeat, but saying that I did say I wanted a win out of one of these matches, so now seems like as good… Hang on, my phone’s going…

“Hello?”

“725k for Xavier!”

“No! Not for sale, for fucks sake.”

179 1 5 lenogue bid.png

Erm, where was I? Oh right. Now seems as good a time as any.

179 1 7 preview.png

We’re going with Project: Sword again but this time we’ll start with 2 up front as I think a false 9 role suits Phil more than a trequartista one. McCarthy and Aidir miss out so Goujon, fresh back from his suspension, comes in with Nathan Andre.

179 1 8 formations.png

My hopes take a knock within the first 2 minute when Tolisso’s whipped cross is missed by Issa Samba, leaving Kylien Mbappé with a tap in at the far side. Monaco should double their lead on 20 minutes, but another good Tolisso cross is spurned by Bernardo Silva, who pokes the ball wide of the near post.

At half time we’re lucky to only be 1 goal down as Monaco have been all over us, but we’ve also failed to create any chances of note, so it’s time to bring out the Meatloaf. I do consider trying to grind out a 1-1 but we’ll struggle to do that if our second half performance is anything like our first. Gaizka Basauri is sacrificed for the sysyem, with Ferhat coming onto the left wing. In the 53rd minute, Chiesa chips a cross in from the right wing and Mbappé’s free at the far post again to stroke the ball home. Well fuck me for trying.

With half an hour to play, target man Florian Ayé comes on replacing Andre to try and make our more direct passes stick up front, but realistically when you’re 0-2 down against Monaco there’s no way back. Within 5 minutes, Bernardo Silva plays a magnificent pass through for Chiesa, who places the ball past Lenogue and puts the cherry on top of a routine win for the visitors. Ayé does get a chance to grab a consolation late on when Foden hoofs the ball upfield for him to run after, but his close range shot is straight into Rico’s gloves. 0-3 it finishes.

179 1 9 post.png

Allegri accuses me after the match of sending my teams out to injure people, which makes me chuckle. I mean we’ve covered all this, haven’t we? My teams foul a lot because they’re aggressive and determined, not malicious. He even says it’ll get me the sack, but it never has before, so I doubt it.

“Hello?… PISS OFF. I blocked your… I told Tras the same as… Listen… Please, please listen… Goodbye.” Fucking hell.

179 2 3 lenogue bid.png

Without getting into the nitty gritty just yet, our next match is our last before the first international break of the season, where France will face Liechtenstein and Georgia. I’ve opted for a couple of surprises, 2 of which I’ve already mentioned as potential debutants for the national side: Abdoulaye Sissako and Lamine Fomba both get the nod. I want to get in before the cries of “Bias!” so at my press conference, I give my reasons for their selection: Namely, other midfielders have started the season in poor form, Sissako and Fomba are in good form and they could be a part of the “Next generation” that I keep banging on about. They’re in my squad because I know them well and I genuinely believe that they could be good squad players for France. I hope they prove me right.

Joining the Frenchmen on International duty are Celsiney with the French U19’s, Hikem for Algeria, Lenogue for Martinique, Aidir wins a recall for Morocco alongside Billy, Kakuba joins up with Uganda and young keeper Hassan Derhem gets his first call up for Morocco U20’s. Also, the already injured midfielder McCarthy gets called up by his national side, who would bizarrely rather risk making his injury worse by calling him up than leave him at home to heal up. For some reason this makes me think of Martin O’Neill but for the life of me I can’t remember why.

Deadline day brings the promise of welcome refuge from the onslaught of phone calls, after the initial rush of course. Ed Bolton’s wanted on loan by GFC Ajaccio, Anderlecht chase after one of our most promising young strikers Lance Osborn and Hull want midfielder Sylvain Laurent, while the whole day is permeated by the threat of another fucking phone call about Lenogue. Everyone stays put though and I celebrate the end of the transfer window with a contented sigh and a glass of Alex Lundgren’s whiskey. I’ve earned it.

179 2 9 deadline day179 2 10 round up

Phil Foden deservedly wins the Ligue 1 Player of the Month award for August. It goes to show how good he was in his first 2 games, as he’s won despite his 3rd and 4th being nothing special.

179 2 11 potm.png

Toulouse away then. I do hope not to lose to Toulouse today too. Say that quickly 5 times, I dare you. Toulouse were officially the best of the rest last season and have started this year predictably well, despite the loss of key players such as Antonio Candreva and Martin Braithwaite, who were let go in the Summer when their contracts expired. Toulouse are one of five teams that are yet to be beaten in Ligue 1 and they’ve picked up 8 points out of 4, so this will be tough.

179 2 16 preview.png

If there’s one thing I know about Stéphanopoli’s men it’s that they like to sit very deep in that infuriating 4-1-4-1 and they like clean sheets probably more than they like goals, so even as the away side I don’t want us sitting back today but equally I don’t want us venturing too far forwards and playing into their conniving little counter attacking hands. We’ll play a standard possession-based variant of Project: Meatloaf Mk II and we’ll patiently build attacks and work the ball into the opposition box. Ferhat and Aidir are back in replacing Basauri and Andre, while Captiste makes his 200th appearance for the club.

179 2 17 formations.png

Ferhat goes close in the early stages, cutting in from the left and dragging a shot wide of the far post, but after that things start to go downhill really quickly. In the 18th minute, Saint-Maximin dribbles quite harmlessly forwards through Auxerre’s half and everything is just dandy. Enter Faouzi Hikem’s mystifyingly unnecessary 2 footed “challenge” from behind. Why can’t he ever just stay in my fucking good books? Just for a while. The absolute cretin deserves 2 red cards but rules are rules so he settles for the 1. I ignore him completely as he walks by me down the tunnel, shaking his head as if he can’t believe the decision. Absolute cretin.

I give Ferhat an apologetic look as he jogs off to be replaced by Billy. We go to Project Sword once again, with Aidir play as a lone deep lying forward up front and Foden dropping into central midfield to pick up McCarthy’s playmaker role. I know I said I didn’t want us dropping too deep but as we’ve got a numerical disadvantage, 1 of 2 things is about to happen: Either the 2 teams will bore each other to death or Toulouse will actually come out at us and try and make their extra man count.

For the majority of the game, the former is true, as until the 70th minute Toulouse have just a single decent chance, when Ivanovic dribbles into the box and shoots wildly into the stands. To be fair they do have plenty of shots, but most of them are speculative long rangers.

I bring Mathis Roux on for the last 20 minutes and Aidir comes off. Roux will take central midfield while Foden performs his false 9 role up top. 5 minutes later however, Toulouse have a 2nd good chance. Rousseau runs into our box, Billy tries to tackle – And trips him. A penalty. Maybe it’s just a bad day to be an Auxerre left back. Billy’s booked, as is Goujon, who the referee decides has used quite enough carefully chosen words about the decision.

Morales steps up from 12 yards, blasts the ball low to Lenogue’s right – SAVED! Xavier LeGod makes his 2023/24 debut! Never doubted you for a second, mate.

Ironic cheers come from the away fans 2 minutes from time when in a moment of some kind of poetic justice, Rousseau trips Billy back on the halfway line. The referee pulls out a 2nd yellow and a red for the young midfielder, I cynically suspect just to take the achievement of grabbing a point with 10 men away from us.

I’ve gotten ahead of myself though because we certainly haven’t grabbed a point quite yet. In the 90th minute, Acuña hoofs a free kick from the halfway line towards our box, where 18 players wait. Loïc Goujon gets to the ball first and heads it – But can only put it across goal and into the path of Assimaïdou. He heads it from 6 yards out – Into LeGod’s arms. Thank fuck for that.

179 2 18 post.png

I’ll certainly take a point from that one, as we could and should have lost. Toulouse were by far the better side and managed 22 shots to our 3, including a penalty.

It’s funny that I mentioned “knowing” Sissako and Fomba before the match. I know them well and that’s why they might make their French debuts next week. I know all of these players because they’re a close knit bunch and the majority of us have been together for quite a while. I know that Faouzi Hikem for example will always put in quality performances, he’ll always give us an option down the left and set up a few goals, but sooner or later I know the red mist’s going to descend and he’s going to let me down all over again.

I also know Xavier Lenogue. I know that sometimes he’ll give away a silly goal by flapping at a cross or not reacting quick enough. But I know out of the 2 players who I’d want with me when the going gets tough: I’d choose Lenogue every single day of the week. When the football Gods threaten to shit all over me, LeGod’s the one who’ll put them in a sleeper hold while I make a break for the car.

That’s why despite Ender Tras and his agent’s pleas, Xavier remains an Auxerre player. And that’s why, until my anger subsides at least, Faouzi is lucky the window’s already shut.

179 3 1 league

Episode 180 >

Swift Jedi Justice (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep178)

This is the sort of match you long for early in the season.

Start from the start with episode 1

< Episode 177

“NOT – FOR – SALE.” I growl down the phone. “No… No, listen… Listen… Please listen…” I take the phone away from my ear and cover my face with my hands. “Bechkoura, how do you say ‘Leave me alone’ in Turkish?” I groan.

“I’ve no idea, Boss.” Replies my smirking assistant from the other side or something the desk, sounding far too amused.

“Worth a try.” I sigh, holding the phone back up to my ear. “LENOGUE – NO – GO.” I shout, as Bechkoura breaks into a fit of silent laughter. I throw him a dirty look. An agent representing Kasimpasa has been waffling on at me in Turkish for about 10 minutes and I’m absolutely sure he hasn’t heard or much less understood a single word I’ve said. I’ve gathered from his ramblings that Kasimpasa want Xavier Lenogue, but that’s about it and I’m in no mood to sell.

178 1 1 lenogue bid.png

Speaking of goalkeepers, new signing Vladimir is back in full training and is ready to play some U23 matches to get himself match fit. As much as I like Lenogue I think there are some glaring weaknesses in his game (Dealing with crosses springs to mind), so it would be nice if Vlad could provide some competition for him.

178 1 2 vladimir full training.png

I’ve got to be careful because I don’t want to jinx it, but after all of my worrying and second guessing at the weekend against Metz, I’m relieved to welcome Nantes to the Stade l’Abbé Deschamps for a midweek game. This is the sort of match you long for early in the season – A decent but not too threatening mid table club that you’ve got every chance of beating on your own turf to build up some momentum.

178 1 4 preview.png

Having said that, Nantes started their campaign with a 4-3 home win over Sochaux, who were quite good last season. Debutant striker Isaac Success scored twice on his Nantes debut and will need to be watched, as will central midfielder Amine Harit, who set up 2 of the goals. They do look shaky at the back though and I reckon we can outscore them, so we’ll be going Meatloaf. The lineup doesn’t change as I want to see this eleven playing a more expansive game, but I am tweaking the system slightly by asking my defence to play the offside trap to counteract the considerable pace that our opposition have up front. Loïc Goujon is also given specific instructions to bully Harit and keep him as quiet as possible.

178 1 5 formations.png

The match gets off to a flier before the 15 minute mark when McCarthy’s lofted ball forwards is nodded on by Brahim Ferhat for the overlapping Faouzi Hikem. Hikem sends a dangerous flat cross into the box, Gaaloul goes for but misses his header and who should pop up right behind him but Phil Foden to volley in his 2nd goal in as many matches. Excellent stuff.

We’re pegged back with just over 20 minutes on the clock though when Isaac Success chips a pass through for Belloni on the edge of the area. He shrugs off Hikem’s challenge with ease and fires the ball under Lenogue with such power that our keeper doesn’t even react.

On the half hour we’re playing some beautiful football. One particular piece of build up play culminates with Aidir spreading the ball out onto the left for Hikem, who returns the favour by drilling a cross in to the Moroccan at the near post. Hicham shoots but centre back Diallo’s on hand to deflect the ball behind.

We keep piling the pressure on as we push for the lead again. A few minutes later, Hikem’s long ball reaches McCarthy, who rises impressively above 2 defenders to flick it on to Aidir. Aidir releases Ferhat behind the defence as he powers inside from the left, but his shot is kept out by the fingertips of Poiana. Foden goes for the follow up but his effort cannons out off the legs of Dorian Bailly as Nantes cling on for dear life.

Another few minutes pass and we win a free kick. This time it should be 2-1. Foden executes a cheeky little chip from the 30 yard set piece and finds Ferhat with all the time in the World just inside the box. He tries to volley the ball but catches it all wrong, skewing it high and wide.

Eventually though our persistence pays off. Another brilliant chipped ball from McCarthy releases Hikem, who’s one of a number of our team that are playing out of their skin. Hikem dinks a cross towards the far post and of course Phil Foden’s there to cushion the ball over the line for 2-1.

I’m happy at half time. In fact I’m more than happy. This is exactly what I wanted from this match: Dominance, good football, goals and a lead. As happy as I was with the result of our season opener, the performance wasn’t fantastic and I’m glad we’ve been able to step it up so far. I give the lads a pat on their collective back and send them back out to keep it going.

Not even 3 minutes after the restart, Foden swings another free kick into the box towards Ferhat, but our young inside forward is shoved by Bailly as he goes for the header. The home crowd cry out in unison, followed by a cheer as the referee points to the spot. Penalty. I smirk as Foden runs over to pick up the ball, eager to complete his hat trick, but Captiste calmly takes it from him and places it on the spot, before dishing out some swift Jedi justice by burying our 3rd goal beyond the keeper’s outstretched left glove.

On the hour, Captiste’s involved again but this time not for the right reason. Our skipper comes charging out to try and reach a loose ball before Isaac Success, forgetting that Isaac is about 3 times faster than him. The winger nonchalantly taps the ball round Captiste and sets off in a sprint down the left wing, leaving the centre back for dead. He reaches the box and cuts inside, but smashes his shot high over the bar.

With 17 minutes of the match to go, Goujon’s shown a 2nd yellow and a red for a professional foul on Ardaiz. I go over and give Loïc a pat on the back as he trudges towards the tunnel. He’s done well today, keeping Harit in check and stifling Nantes’ attacking threat. I won’t begrudge him this. As long as we win.

In response we change to a 10 man variant of Project: ‘Sword’ in an attempt to shut up shop. Fomba and Gaizka Basauri come on to replace Ferhat and Aidir in the reshuffle, with Sissako and Basauri playing as holding men behind a central midfield of Fomba and McCarthy. Foden leads the line as a false 9.

The next goal comes quite out of the blue, considering our changes – Patient build up in the centre of the pitch, then Fomba pokes a cheeky pass through and Foden strokes the ball into the bottom corner from 12 yards. Nantes goalkeeper Poiana punches the ground as Foden runs into the corner of the pitch to be mobbed by his team mates. Not happy just being the hero at the weekend, today he’s the bloody hat trick hero.

The final whistle is immediately drowned out by a huge cheer from the Auxerre fans. 4-1, 2 wins from 2 and we’re top of the league. Not bad.

178 1 6 post.png

A thought crosses my mind as I sit at my desk the following day: What if I just resigned? Think about it. How’s that going to look on the CV? Taking a team from near the bottom of Ligue 2 to the top of Ligue 1 in just over 2 years. It probably wouldn’t hold up under scrutiny or questioning though. Especially if the questions were along the lines of “Why on Earth did you resign 2 games into the season?”

Ender Tras, manager of Kasimpasa, was in the stands for that one. Apparently he really likes the way we play football and just wanted to come down to watch, which is nice. I can’t imagine he’d have been here for any other reason considering my stance on Xavier Lenogue’s future.

In other transfer news, Faouzi Hikem wants to take all the good grace he’s just built up with me from that performance, put it in a little pile and set it on fire by requesting a move to a bigger club. Luckily Captiste’s on hand to put out the fire with his fucking mind. By which I mean he convinced him to stay. Wasn’t sure that was clear.

Memphis Depay is taken off the transfer list after a good start to the season, so that’s that. It’s a shame as he would’ve brought a lot of quality to our team, but then again where would he have played? A left footed winger? Would he take Foden’s place after the start he’s made? Not likely. I’m probably more annoyed by the fact that by time our next match rolls around, Lyon have knocked us off the top spot.

178 2 8 preview.png

Our next match, now that you mention it, will be a tricky one: Marseille away. I still have nightmares about their 4-2-3-1 and the bollocking they gave us in the same fixture last year, so I’m shutting up shop. Project: Sword will be utilised from the start. It’s annoying that Goujon will miss this one through suspension as he’s our best defence-orientated midfielder, but we power through. Basauri and Fomba come in to replace Goujon and Ferhat, with Basauri and Sissako again playing the deeper roles in midfield while Foden plays off Aidir as a free roaming trequartista.

178 2 9 formations.png

The first half hour is tense. Hicham Aidir has a couple of half-chances, powering towards the box and forcing a couple of decent saves from Werner, but then McCarthy needs to receive treatment for a back strain, which definitely isn’t ideal. He stays on. We’ll need creativity and I don’t want to speak too soon, but Fabian has certainly given us that so far this season.

With 6 minutes to go before the break, Basauri slips the ball through for Hikem, who’s bombing down the left. Hikem squares it from the byline just as Lamine Fomba comes hurtling through the box to tap the ball in at the near post.

We look decent value to take the lead in at half time, but with only injury time between us and the chance to regroup, Marseille strike. Matheusinho is the subject of some extremely suspect marking from Faouzi Hikem and jinks past him easily. He sends in a low cross for Germain, who is similarly poorly marked by Doucouré in the middle and turns in the equaliser. It’s a poor goal to concede.

12 minutes into the second period, Aidir, who’s done OK today pressing from the front, wins the ball and slips it in front of Foden, who has space to run into. Foden charges towards the box and shoots, but is denied by a good save. Not long after, I tweak Foden’s role slightly by making him a false 9 alongside Aidir.

With 25 minutes to go though, Carrasco switches the play beautifully, arcing the ball over to Sabaly on the right wing. Sabaly whips a cross into the box and Carrasco makes the run to get on the end of it, sending a looping header beyond Lenogue and in off the post. To be fair that’s a much better goal, but it’s disappointing to have the match turned on us after such a promising start.

5 minutes later we’re searching for the equaliser. A patient move focussing down the middle ends when Fomba passes inside to Aidir’s feet on the edge of the box. Out of nowhere the big striker smacks the ball with his heel, sending it fizzing into the box towards Foden. Phil takes a touch and shoots, but is denied by another good save. From the resulting corner, Basauri swings a dangerous cross into the 6 yard box and out of a mess of bodies, Captiste rises highest and heads the ball goalwards over the stranded goalkeeper, but Augustinsson hooks it clear off the line, conceding a throw in.

I take the opportunity to make a double change: Phil Foden’s been OK today but he’s not been as comfortable in his role and has wasted a couple of opportunities, so Nathan Andre jogs on to join Hicham up front. McCarthy’s clearly affected by his earlier injury, so he’s replaced by 16 year old Mathis Roux. We finally get the opportunity to take the throw in and Samba takes it, handing a first touch of the ball to Nathan Andre. Andre spins on the edge of the box and lays it back for Aidir, who guides a lovely through ball towards the back post where Roux’s arriving! Roux gets there – AND MATHIS ROUX STABS IT HOME! HIS FIRST TOUCH OF… Offside. Oh come on.

A few minutes later, Roux receives the ball on the halfway line. He really looks up for this match despite the chalked off goal as he looks up and picks out Aidir’s run into the left channel. The big Moroccan latches onto the ball and fires low and hard at goal – And squeezes it in at the near post! 2-2! I allow myself a fist pump as Aidir peels away with one arm raised in triumph. He’s off the mark for the season and thankfully it’s not taken quite as long as last year.

We’re put under the cosh almost immediately after the equaliser. First Augustinsson shoots straight at Lenogue from 6 yards, then our corner breaks down and Geraldes hits us on the counter, sprinting through on goal and forcing a good save from our keeper. With 2 minutes to go and the Auxerre lads firmly encouraged to waste time at every opportunity, they’re battering us. This time Sabaly does really well to escape Hikem with a burst of pace down the right and he crosses from the byline. Enes Ünal meets it 6 yards out – Heads it – Off the post and cleared by Samba. Blow the whistle please.

I waste a bit more time by bringing Ferhat on for a cameo up front, but then eventually the referee brings the game to a close and I beam from ear to ear. Yes we’ve got some work to do on our marking, but a point away at Marseille will do very nicely indeed. Aidir’s off the mark, Roux is unlucky not to be but did register an assist, Fomba was every bit as good as he was last season, running the show from midfield and Basauri was solid and steady, going some way to justifying my decision not to send him back out on loan. I’ll sleep well tonight, swaddled comfortably in my vindication blanket.

True, we have to settle for 2nd place in Ligue 1, but I’ll take it.

178 2 10 post

178 3 2 league

Episode 179 >

The Worst First Match (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep177)

Metz away is a nightmare tie.

Start from the start with episode 1

< Mini-sode 176.5

After spending the last couple of weeks thinking about it, I’ve come to the conclusion that Metz away is in fact one of the worst first matches we could’ve been given and let me tell you why. It all comes down to what each team is bringing over from last season in terms of momentum: Auxerre finished relatively strongly playing fairly adventurous attacking football, while Metz had a strong season in general and will be feeling as optimistic as any team in the league after winning Ligue 2, just as we were 12 months ago.

I’ve not forgotten my pledge to play more expansive football this season but an opening day away trip against one of the in-form teams doesn’t strike me as the ideal time for it, which gives me another problem: How do we keep our own momentum going if we can’t play the way we were playing to build the momentum in the first place out of fear of a momentum flatline? If we attack and lose, the fans and media will say “You should’ve shown them more respect! They’ve just won a league!” But if we defend and lose they’ll cry “Where’s your ambition and where’s the attacking football that got us those results late last season?”

See? Metz away is a nightmare tie. Whatever we do in terms of our strategy against Metz will double up conveniently as a rod for my own bloody back if things don’t go our way. But perhaps I’ve had slightly too much time to overthink this.

177 1 2 preview.png

In the end I decide to go conservative. I’ve always maintained that avoiding defeat on the first day of the season is the most important thing, so we’ll play Project: Meatloaf Mk II to stop Metz in their tracks, before hitting them with quick, clinical counter attacks. We’re without Celsiney and Billy, who both finished last season as starters and picked up suspensions, so our lineup is actually pretty similar to the last time we played this fixture in the 2021/22 season: Lenogue in net, Samba, Captiste, Doucouré and Hikem across the back, Goujon, Sissako and McCarthy in central midfield, with Foden and Ferhat cutting in to support Aidir. Incidentally, we lost that match 0-2.

177 1 3 formations.png

Auxerre fire the first warning shot: Hicham Aidir wriggles into space 20 yards from goal and has a crack, just missing the left post. I wince slightly. Andre could’ve easily started this match but I want Hicham to get himself off the mark nice and early this year to avoid a repeat of last season, so I’m going to give him a few games as our starting striker.

The first half hour offers little in terms of action but I’m slightly concerned to see that we’re being pushed further and further back into our own half. And then Diakité’s corner is cleared and comes back to him on the right wing. He floats a better cross into our box, Betti rises to nod the ball on and big striker Santini rises high above his marker Captiste to power a header against the post. Too close.

We change slightly from a 4-1-2-3 to a 4-2-3-1 to try and move us back up the pitch, but we’ll continue to play on the counter. At half time the scores are still level and I make a change – Loïc Goujon, still a bit short of fitness and showing it, is replaced by last season’s Fans’ Player of the Year Lamine Fomba.

In the 53rd minute and with Auxerre looking like the 2nd best team on the pitch, we set out to control the ball more and maybe put Metz under a bit of pressure. It’s worth noting at this point that neither side has managed a shot on target.

A minute later my heart’s in my mouth as Koffi breaks down the left wing and chips a cross in. Lenogue comes out and flaps at the ball, leaving the aerially dominant Santini with a chance to nod it into the open goal – But he heads wide of the far post.

Perhaps foolishly, I stick stubbornly to the idea of controlling the play as we really do need to create more. With 20 minutes to go, Zoun and Andre come on for Ferhat and Aidir to inject some pace and legs into our attack.

Again, just a minute after I make the change, Metz have a good chance. A nice possession move is ended when Andre’s robbed by Pàlsson, who plays a long ball over the top of our defence for Breton. He gets clear of Doucouré, sprints down the right wing and whips a cross in, the ball ricochets off Captiste’s thigh and falls to Soudani 8 yards out, but he can only drill a volley just wide of the near post.

5 minutes later we’re in possession again with Fabian McCarthy on the half way line. Fabian looks up, spots Nathan Andre’s run through the left channel and chips a superb ball into his path. My pulse quickens as Andre brings it down, gets free of the defence, dribbles to the left byline and pulls the ball back – It goes straight across goal to the far post and bounces once before – FODEN!!!

I leap out of the dugout and punch the air. He’s done it again! The brilliant little bastard has done it again! McCarthy’s pass was sublime, Andre’s assist was perfect and Phil bloody Foden guides the ball past Dejanovic and into the net. There’s echoes of last year’s opener against Lorient and there’s echoes of our 4-2 win over Stade Rennais as Foden slides across the turf in front of the elated away fans, thumping the Auxerre badge on his chest.

With over 10 minutes left to play, we retreat to our counter attacking 4-1-2-3 and protect our lead to the final whistle without much trouble. I’ve already forgotten what it was that gave me such a headache before kick off. We may have struggled and we may not entirely deserve it, but we’ve made the perfect start to our 2023/24 campaign.

177 1 4 post

177 2 1 kick off

177 2 2 league

Episode 178 >

Ligue 1 2023/24 (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Mini-sode 176.5)

Get me back in that fucking dug out.

Start from the start with episode 1

< Episode 176

Here we are again, ready for another season in Ligue 1. Not much has changed from last season apart from the 2 promoted clubs and about half the managers. Let’s have a gander.

Screen Shot 2018-08-12 at 15.32.33

Athlétic Club Ajaccio

Nickname: L’ACA

Manager: Olivier Pantaloni

From: Ajaccio

Ground: Stade François Coty

Last Season: 14th

Predicted: 17th

Rivals in Ligue 1: Sporting Club de Bastia (Fierce, Local), OGC Nice (Local)

Screen Shot 2018-08-12 at 15.35.01

Association de la Jeunesse Auxerroise

Nickname: L’AJA

Manager: WT Franjo

From: Auxerre

Ground: Stade Abbé Deschamps

Last Season: 17th

Predicted: 18th

Rivals in Ligue 1: Bourg-en-Bresse 01 (Competitive)

Screen Shot 2018-08-12 at 15.35.56

Association Sportive de Monaco Football Club

Nickname: Les Monégasques

Manager: Massimiliano Allegri

From: Monaco

Ground: Ettori Park (Built 2019)

Last Season: Champions

Predicted: Champions

Rivals in Ligue 1: OGC Nice (Fierce, Local), Olympique de Marseille (Local), Olympique Lyonnais (Competitive), Paris Saint-Germain (Competitive), Sporting Club de Bastia (Local)

Screen Shot 2018-08-12 at 15.36.19

Association Sportive de Saint-Étienne Loire

Nickname: Les Verts

Manager: Claude Makélélé

From: Saint-Étienne

Ground: Stade Geoffrey-Guichard

Last Season: 13th

Predicted: 8th

Rivals in Ligue 1: Olympique Lyonnais (Fierce, Local), Olympique de Marseille (Historic), FC Nantes (Historic), Paris Saint-Germain (Competitive)

Screen Shot 2018-08-12 at 15.36.42

Bourg-en-Bresse Péronnas 01

Nickname: N/A

Manager: Laurent Roussey

From: Bourg-en-Bresse

Ground: Stade Marcel Verchère

Last Season: 15th

Predicted: 20th

Rivals in Ligue 1: Olympique Lyonnais (Local)

Screen Shot 2018-08-12 at 15.37.05

En Avant de Guingamp Côtes-d’Armor

Nickname: Les Costarmoricains

Manager: Antoine Kombouaré

From: Guingamp

Ground: En Avant de Guingamp Stadium (Built 2019)

Last Season: 12th

Predicted: 12th

Rivals in Ligue 1: Stade Bretois 29 (Fierce, Local), Stade Rennais FC (Local), FC Lorient (Local), FC Nantes (Local)

Screen Shot 2018-08-12 at 15.37.39

Football Club Lorient-Bretagne Sud

Nickname: Les Merlus

Manager: Djamel Merdjett

From: Lorient

Ground: Gourcuff Stadium (Built 2021)

Last Season: 8th

Predicted: 11th

Rivals in Ligue 1: Stade Rennais FC (Local), Stade Brestois 29 (Local), FC Nantes (Local), En Avant de Guingamp (Local)

Screen Shot 2018-08-12 at 15.38.07

Football Club de Metz

Nickname: Les Grenats

Manager: Cláudio Caçapa

From: Longeville-lès-Metz

Ground: Stade Saint-Symphorien

Last Season: Ligue 2 Champions (Promoted)

Predicted: 16th

Rivals in Ligue 1: Football Club Sochaux-Montbéliard (Local)

Screen Shot 2018-08-12 at 15.38.33

Football Club de Nantes

Nickname: Les Canaris

Manager: Frédéric Hantz

From: Nantes

Ground: Stade Louis Fonteneau (La Beaujoire)

Last Season: 9th

Predicted: 10th

Rivals in Ligue 1: Stade Rennais FC (Fierce, Local), Girondins de Bordeaux (Local), AS Saint-Étienne (Historic), FC Lorient (Local), En Avant de Guingamp (Local)

Screen Shot 2018-08-12 at 15.39.01

Football Club Sochaux-Montbéliard

Nickname: Les Lionceaux

Manager: Albert Cartier

From: Montbéliard

Ground: Stade Auguste Bonal

Last Season: 10th

Predicted: 13th

Rivals in Ligue 1: N/A

Screen Shot 2018-08-12 at 15.39.19

Football Club des Girondins de Bordeaux

Nickname: Les Girondins

Manager: Michel Der Zakarian

From: Bordeaux

Ground: Matmut Atlantique (Nouveau Stade de Bordeaux)

Last Season: 6th

Predicted: 5th

Rivals in Ligue 1: Toulouse FC (Fierce, Local), FC Nantes (Local), Olympique de Marseille (Competitive), Olympique Lyonnais (Competitive), Paris Saint-Germain (Competitive)

Screen Shot 2018-08-12 at 15.39.34

Lille Olympique Sporting Club

Nickname: Les Dogues

Manager: Eric Chelle

From: Villeneuve-d’Ascq

Ground: Stade Pierre Mauroy

Last Season: 18th (Beat Stade de Reims 2-1 in the Playoff to stay in Ligue 1)

Predicted: 14th

Rivals in Ligue 1: N/A

Screen Shot 2018-08-12 at 15.39.46

Olympique Gymnaste Club Nice Côte d’Azur

Nickname: Le Gym

Manager: Didier Santini

From: Nice

Ground: Allianz Riviera

Last Season: 7th

Predicted: 9th

Rivals in Ligue 1: AS Monaco (Fierce, Local), Sporting Club de Bastia (Local), Olympique de Marseille (Local), Athlétic Club Ajaccio (Local)

Screen Shot 2018-08-12 at 15.39.56

Olympique Lyonnais

Nickname: L’OL

Manager: Zlatan Ibrahimovic

From: Décines-Charpieu

Ground: Parc Olympique Lyonnais

Last Season: 4th

Predicted: 4th

Rivals in Ligue 1: AS Saint-Étienne (Fierce, Local), Olympique de Marseille (Fierce, Competitive), AS Monaco (Competitive), Paris Saint-Germain (Competitive), Bourg-en-Bresse 01 (Local), Girondins de Bordeaux (Competitive)

Screen Shot 2018-08-12 at 15.40.19

Olympique de Marseille

Nickname: L’OM

Manager: Roberto Mancini

From: Marseille

Ground: Stade Orange Vélodrome

Last Season: 5th

Predicted: 3rd

Rivals in Ligue 1: Paris Saint-Germain (Fierce, Competitive), Olympique Lyonnais (Fierce, Competitive), AS Monaco (Local), OGC Nice (Local), AS Saint-Étienne (Competitive), Sporting Club de Bastia (Local), Girondins de Bordeaux (Competitive)

Screen Shot 2018-08-12 at 15.40.42

Paris Saint-Germain Football Club

Nickname: Le PSG

Manager: Pep Guardiola

From: Paris

Ground: Parc Des Princes

Last Season: 2nd

Predicted: 1st

Rivals in Ligue 1: Olympique de Marseille (Fierce, Competitive), AS Monaco (Competitive), Olympique Lyonnais (Competitive), Girondins de Bordeaux (Competitive)

Screen Shot 2018-08-12 at 15.41.00

Sporting Club de Bastia

Nickname: Le SCB

Manager: Jean-Marie Huriez

From: Furiani

Ground: Stade Armand Césari

Last Season: 2nd in Ligue 2 (Promoted)

Predicted: 19th

Rivals in Ligue 1: Athlétic Club Ajaccio (Fierce, Local), Olympique de Marseille (Local), OGC Nice (Local), AS Monaco (Local)

Screen Shot 2018-08-12 at 15.41.16

Stade Brestois 29

Nickname: Les Brestois

Manager: Patrice Carteron

From: Rennes

Ground: Roazhon Park

Last Season: 16th

Predicted: 15th

Rivals in Ligue 1: En Avant de Guingamp (Fierce, Local), Stade Rennais FC (Local), FC Lorient (Local)

Screen Shot 2018-08-12 at 15.41.29

Stade Rennais Football Club

Nickname: Les Rouges et Noirs

Manager: Régis Brouard

From: Rennes

Ground: Roazhon Park

Last Season: 11th

Predicted: 7th

Rivals in Ligue 1: FC Nantes (Fierce, Local), En Avant de Guingamp (Local), FC Lorient (Local), Stade Brestois 29 (Local)

Screen Shot 2018-08-12 at 15.41.40

Toulouse Football Club

Nickname: Le TFC

Manager: Jean-Marie Stéphanopoli

From: Toulouse

Ground: Stadium Municipal

Last Season: 3th

Predicted: 6th

Rivals in Ligue 1: Girondins de Bordeaux (Fierce, Local)

Screen Shot 2018-08-12 at 16.16.26

I’ve got to say it surprises me slightly that our opening day opponents FC Metz are apparently twice as likely to win the Ligue 1 title than we are. Nevermind though. Make us 1000-1, make us 1000,000-1 or make us 1000,000,000-1. I don’t care about your “title race” or your “big signings” or your “highlighted star player”. Get me back in that fucking dug out and watch me go. We aren’t meek, newly promoted Auxerre any more. We’re a battle-hardened, self-sustaining force to be reckoned with. This is Auxerre 2.0 and we’re ready to play some fucking football.

Episode 177 >

What Now? (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep176)

It feels like this Summer’s gone on forever.

Start from the start with episode 1

< Mini-sode 175.5.5.5.5.5.5

175.5.5 1 7 transfer window open.png

What now?

That’s the question that plagues me over the Summer. What now for AJ Auxerre? Over the last 2 and a bit years our goals have been obvious, with the exception of the start of my first full season here. When I first came in we needed to avoid the drop from Ligue 2, most of the next season we were wrestling with Bourg for the Ligue 2 title and last season we needed to avoid the drop from Ligue 1. But… What now? The pessimist in me says we need to avoid the drop again and he’s right, but surely we can aim a bit higher this time? Hopefully we’ve got a bit of money to spend, our young squad has got a year of Ligue 1 experience under their belts and touch wood our injury pileup nightmare is over, with Aidir due back for pre-season to join Doucouré and Andre, who returned during the run in.

Now I’m not stupid, obviously we aren’t going for the title. That’s going to be won by either PSG or Monaco. Nor are we going for the Champions League and the Europa League would be a serious stretch. But surely we can at least steer well clear of relegation? A mid-table or top half finish would be great and maybe we could even aim to go one step beyond last year and reach a Cup Final so that we can again have the honour of being demolished by one of the big 2 but this time get a medal and a day out for our trouble. In fact that’s not a bad goal either, maybe this year we can sneak a win against one of the big 2. We’ve got 4 opportunities in the League and taking 3 points from one of those matches would be a real achievement for this team.

175.5.5 2 15 new season near.png

My first day back at Auxerre after France’s EIL win is spent negotiating with Chamois Niortais with the end goal of finally knocking one of Auxerre’s long-running issues in the head. £375k is their starting point but I manage to get £500k from the Ligue 2 outfit in return for Corentin Tirard, who is out of the door so fast he leaves a cartoonish dust cloud in his wake.

176 1 1 tirard moves

I used to be frustrated with Corentin but over time my feelings towards him have turned to sympathy. He didn’t perform well enough for us in Ligue 2 and there was very little reason to try him out in Ligue 1 either side of a horrific injury, so I just want him gone, preferably somewhere where he can play football again and get his career back on track. Hopefully Chamois is the club to make that happen and the price is right, so good luck Corentin. Fabian McCarthy catches me while I’m feeling sentimental and asks for a new contract and soft touch that I am I agree. He’s one of many players who I’m hoping to finally see the best of this year and if a new contract is what will make him happy enough to make a real impact, that’s fine by me.

176 1 8 mccarthy new deal

And fuck it, with Vidal retiring I see no reason to let Raf’s contract run out this Summer. He’s always been scarcely used but solid for me so he’s tied down for 2 more years.

176 1 7 raf new deal

McCarthy and raf are a couple of examples of players who are called up to play for their National team during the Summer but the most pleasing one for me is young Celsiney, the Brazilian born full back who plays alongside Algerian born Brahim Ferhat in France’s Under 19 drubbing of Northern Ireland. I’m glad to see they’re both open to playing for France and as I scour the country for the next batch of French stars, hopefully they can play their way into the discussion at some point.

175.5.5 2 13 int duty

And another young Frenchman in our ranks also gets a new deal; Gaizka Basauri had a really good start to last season on loan to Groupe Sportif Consolat last season, before he started the trend of Auxerre’s year by breaking his ankle and had to be recalled. Göztepe make 3 bids that could rise as high as £700k for the holding man but I tie him down instead. I still think the 20 year old could be a player for us.

We have a couple more bids early in the Summer too: Crouchie gives me a call to see if £2.4m of Hull City’s money would be enough to prise Ferhat away from the Stade l’Abbé-Deschamps and I tell him to jump into the fucking Humber in my usual professional manner. I give a similar if more cordial answer to Nice when they bid £245k for Xavier Lenogue. Zlatan Ibrahimovic also enquires about our keeper on behalf of Lyon, but like pretty much all of my squad, he isn’t for sale.

One very difficult decision I have come to though is that Joël Soumahoro has no place in my team this year. I want him to do well for Auxerre so badly but on the rare occasions he’s played in Ligue 1 he’s looked lost and ineffective. He isn’t physical enough for this league, nor is he skilful enough to fulfil the role he does in this league. I don’t want to lose him altogether but I do offer Joël out for loan so that he can get some game time. Ajaccio and Lens both bid but as they don’t have any intention of giving the Ivorian any game time, they’re both turned down.

So with the new contracts and outgoings out of the way or in progress, let’s take stock of the squad.

Goalkeepers: Xavier Lenogue, Anthony Gasnier

Defenders: Issa Samba, Celsiney, Ed Bolton, Captiste, Mamadou Doucouré, Isaac Sohna, Mike Kakuba, Faouzi Hikem, Billy

Midfielders: Loïc Goujon, Gaizka Basauri, Raf, Abdoulaye Sissako, Lamine Fomba, Chancel Kasongo, Phil Foden, Alessandro Bassani, Alex Makengo, Fabian McCarthy, Mathis Roux, Zoun, Patrick Granger

Strikers: Hicham Aidir, Nathan Andre, Brahim Ferhat, Florian Ayé

So a couple of things become quickly apparent with a glimpse of this squad: Firstly, we don’t have a decent backup goalkeeper. I know that’s a bit harsh on perennial understudy and French Under 21 footballer Anthony Gasnier, but it’s true. Secondly, Chancel Kasongo is back and I actually intend to use him this season. He lit up the Belgian Pro League B on loan to Tubize and last year he was just as effective for Adanaspor in the Turkish Super League, racking up a goal and 9 assists over 33 games. Thirdly though, we seriously lack senior depth. At right back for example we’ve got Issa Samba, but if he picks up a suspension, which he will, we’re left with 20 year old defensive utility man Ed Bolton or 16 year old Celsiney. It’s the same with a few different positions including goalkeeper I suppose, but in terms of the outfield players I really don’t have a problem with this. We are traditionally a club that brings youth players through and as long as I think the youngsters have the potential to become Ligue 1 players I’m more than happy to drop them in as needed.

The best examples of this are probably at right back, where I’ve mentioned Celsiney, who absolutely has the potential to become a first teamer, and in attacking midfield, where we have McCarthy, Joël and Roux. The reason it’s Joël on the way out as oppose to McCarthy being shipped off or Roux staying in the youth team is that as much as I’ve lamented McCarthy he is currently better than Joël and I genuinely believe he and Roux can reach Ligue 1 quality, whereas with Joël I merely hope against hope. He’s also the oldest of the 3 at 23, so besides the fact that he desperately needs minutes at his age, the other 2 have more time to reach that higher potential. I think that keeping Joël around would be pointless basically. I can’t see him offering much so the fleeting game time he would have may as well go to Mathis, who has a much, much higher ceiling.

While I’m on this actually, I’ve seen Auxerrois fan forum posts saying that I’ve used McCarthy the wrong way since his move and I may as well address that here. It’s a fair point and it boils down to the fact that I bought him as a set piece taker but also as an upgrade on Joël in the number 10 position, while simultaneously switching from the 4-2-3-1 we deployed regularly in Ligue 2 to a 4-1-2-3 (And later more…Exotic formations in the same mould) to make us more defensively solid as we moved up to an elite league. With that came a desire to have a holding man, a ball winner and a box-to-boxer all in the same team at the expense of the advanced playmaker, which I saw as a luxury that at most times we couldn’t afford. I still think that McCarthy has all the attributes to be a box-to-box midfielder but there’s no doubt that he’d be utilised best as the main playmaker and if the end of last season has taught me anything it’s that there is such a thing as being too reserved in your play style.

Our best football of the season came as a result of me being almost resigned to relegation and thinking “Fuck it, let’s just do what we did in Ligue 2” and lo and behold we turned it on and scrapped our way to safety. My point is that I no longer see Ligue 2 as a league that we aren’t equipped for and in retrospect I probably showed it too much respect last year. We’ll be less defensive this year, although I won’t be going full gung-ho like with France, and that will see us being more expansive and using a playmaker more often, which I hope will suit McCarthy and see us get the best out of him.

Fuck me, that all got a bit serious and technical didn’t it. As the new season’s fixtures have been announced, let’s spend a few seconds thinking about how we should kick seven bells out of newly promoted FC Metz when we meet them on opening day, or what we’re going to do with the £12M we’ll receive from TV revenue this year, which will absolutely be made available to the club for transfers without a shadow of a doubt.

176 1 11 fixtures announced

176 1 12 revenue

On second thoughts, that opening day trip to Metz seems like a banana skin waiting to happen and will be tough. They’ve got momentum from winning Ligue 2 last year and as usual a draw to kick us off would probably be OK. Also speaking of money, we do technically have as much as £6.5M to spend this window, but as I’ve mentioned, short of a decent backup goalkeeper I’m not sure I actually want any new players. I can’t see much value in the market for us so unless a massive player with a lot of quality suddenly becomes available I think I’m pretty happy with the squad I’ve got.

Screen Shot 2018-08-12 at 20.25.47.png

Friendlies have been arranged and as usual we’ll be starting with warm up games against the kids and the reserves, before hosting Paris FC, which will be followed by a tour of Scandinavia where we’ll face Silkeborg IF, FC Midtjylland and FC Kobenhavn. We’ll return home to face Cercle Brugge and then finish up with a trip to Glasgow to play Celtic, then a final home game against Benfica.

176 1 18 friendlies announced

Annoyingly our “Tour” of Scandinavia falls apart pretty quickly when Midtjylland and Kobenhavn cancel our fixtures, along with Cercle Brugge. Instead we’ll play Barnsley, Ajax and Newcastle.

I don’t usually mention staff hirings but this one’s pretty special: With Bechkoura becoming my permanent assistant manager for Auxerre and France I’ve brought in former Auxerre favourite Benoit Cheyrou to replace him as coach. His stock’s fallen a bit recently as I remember going head to head with Estac Troyes in Ligue 2 when Benoit was their manager, but he’ll be an excellent addition to my staff for club and country.

176 1 15 cheyrou

I’m not trying to rub it in for Benoit, but my own stock is actually on the rise, as I’m starting on the Continental Pro License course. Hopefully this time next year I’ll be as qualified for this job as anyone in the World.

176 1 17 franjo to study.png

Screen Shot 2018-08-18 at 12.38.25

The start of June brings a few changes among the Auxerre squad: Mamadou Doucouré finally signs permanently for l’AJA on a free transfer, while several players leave at the end of their contracts, including Bingourou Kamara.

Another player to leave is Arturo Vidal, who had already decided to retire this Summer when I brought him in. Interestingly though the Auxerre fans and Board are all mortified by my “decision” to let him go. Idiots.

Screen Shot 2018-08-18 at 12.41.14

Screen Shot 2018-08-18 at 12.42.14

Nevermind though. While we keep looking for a backup goalie to sign, it’s time for our first pre-season friendly against the young ‘uns. It’s a demolition job as you’d expect but it’s all about fitness at the end of the day. Brahim Ferhat scores an impressive hat trick before a quarter of an hour’s even passed and is joined by Alessandro Bassani on the score sheet early on. Badaoui pulls one back for the kids after about half an hour but after a full half time rotation, we bag a 5th goal thanks to young Mathis Roux’s injury time effort. Nathan Andre plays the second half but Aidir’s left out as the pair continue to build their fitness back up. A good solid 5-1 win to kick us off.

176 1 26 post 1

And then comes a knock-knock-fucking-knock on my office door. I bloody knew it. I knew this would happen. I’ve just rejected AS Nancy Lorraine’s potential £1.5M bid for Chancel Kasongo, who I’m determined to give a go in the first team this season. And here he is barging into my office, face like thunder.

176 1 30 kasongo offer

“Why on Earth would you want to leave to join Nancy, mate? You’re in my squad this year.”

“I want to start every match, Boss.” He snarls, unnecessarily.

“Right of course, who doesn’t.” I’m still a bit confused.

“No, I mean I need to be a key player here, starting every match. I want you to promise me that.”

I honestly don’t mean to laugh quite as hard as I do. It seems to piss Chancel off a bit. Once I’ve composed myself I reply “Chancel, you can’t possibly think I can promise you that. I’ve been so impressed with you on your loan spells so I’m more than happy to rotate you into the first team, but you need to prove yourself in that role before you can even think about ‘Key Player’ status. We’ve got a lot of midfielders haven’t we and it’s up to you to show me that you deserve that spot in the team over Lamine, Abdoulaye, Loïc, Raf or Fabian. I can’t just do that for you off the back of 2 years on loan.”

“Then I need to leave.” He pouts. I’m so disappointed. I’ve developed a lot of players at the helm of this club, but Chancel was the first I saw potential in and is one of the ones I’ve watched the closest.

“Fair enough.” I sigh. “Thanks Chancel, see yourself out.” He does.

One thing I neglected to mention earlier in the year was just how close Kasongo was to joining up with the French squad at the back end of last season, which sounds quite insane I know, but his performances were superb and so consistent in Turkey and he was one of the leading options in central midfield in terms of the next generation that I’ve been searching for. In the end he narrowly missed out, as did Abdoulaye Sissako and Lamine Fomba who were also in my thoughts, but I assumed if Chancel could play his way into contention with Auxerre this season he might just break his way into the National side. This changes things considerably.

176 1 31 kasongo unh

You know by now though that nothing picks my spirits up quite like a friendly against the reserves, weirdo that I am. I field a strong XI but to be fair so do the reserves, with Nathan Andre completing the full 90 minutes for my side while Aidir plays 83 minutes for our opposition, alongisde the likes of Fomba, Zoun, Billy and Sohna. It’s Zoun that opens the scoring just over a minute in but Andre gets us back on level terms after the half hour. The second half is just as close and Lamine Fomba fires the reserves back ahead in the 56th minute, but McCarthy cancels out the goal 5 minutes later. It’s a hard fought draw but for me the real victory is seeing our 2 strikers come through the vast majority of the match unscathed. 2-2.

176 1 33 post 2

After the match I’m brought crashing back to reality as rumours circulate linking Kasongo to Bourg-en-Bresse of all clubs. 3 bids are made for the vertically challenged Frenchman but surprisingly they’re all loan offers. With a heavy heart I accept Lokeren’s loan bid as I’d rather not see him go and bolster Bourg’s ranks and another good season in Belgium might raise his value. After all he’s still tied down to a 4 year contract with us so if he doesn’t want to play for Auxerre, we may as well get as much as possible out of any eventual deal. Chancel’s unhappy that I block our rival Ligue 1 club’s bid though and tells me as much in a muffled voice from outside my locked office door.

Some good news presents itself though in the form of France’s U21 team winning the Euros. Our own Anthony Gasnier actually makes a single appearance in the semi-final but is mainly understudy to Real Madrid’s Alban Laurent, who I’d like to see play much more football this season before he earns a recall to the National side. Nevertheless, there’s plenty of names to keep in mind from this team.

Ivorian full back Brice Traoré’s heading out on loan to Hungary with Békéscsaba. I don’t see a future for the lad here but hopefully he’ll develop with regular minutes and get a permanent move on his return.

Xavier Lenogue is still the subject of the odd bid, with Nantes’ interest in our goalkeeper intensifying. Their latest is £350k-£525k, but no dice.

176 1 38 lenogue offer.png

But we power forwards with our first “real” friendly of the Summer. Paris FC are our guests and are taken to task just as ruthlessly as our youth team was. Florian Ayé’s early opener is canceled out by Keita’s equaliser, but then Patrick Granger, Brahim Ferhat and a brace for Hicham Aidir give us another 5-1 win.

176 1 41 post 3.png

I’ve decided to offer quite a few more players new deals, either to give them a bit of a wage bump to keep them happy or tie them down to a longer deal. Goalies Hassan Derhem and Anthony Gasnier, defenders Abdoulaye Faye, Issa Samba and Captiste, midfielders Loïc Goujon, Lamine Fomba, Mathis Roux, Alessandro Bassani and Patrick Granger and striker Brahim Ferhat all sign.

The inevitable Kasongo move is turning into a bit of a saga at this point. Amed Sportif’s £1.6-2.4M bid is turned down as I’m holding out for closer to £5M or a loan, but of course Kasongo takes exception and leaks his frustration to the press. Crybaby Kasongo, as I shall henceforth be referring to him, is sent to train with the reserves, but thankfully we manage to rubber stamp his loan move to Lokeren not long after. So disappointed.

With that out of the way though we can finally move on to what was supposed to be our tour of Scandinavia, which is now just an away friendly against Silkeborg IF. It’s a tight match as we make our first appearance away from home of pre-season, but I’m pleased to see that it’s American youth winger Patrick Granger who makes the difference, putting the Silkeborg defence to the sword with a brace of goals, the first of which cannons in off the underside of the bar, the second of which is fired into the bottom corner and both of which are set up by our own Hicham Aidir.

176 1 60 post 4

The next lad out of the door is Joël. After the whole ordeal with Kasongo I do consider taking him off the loan list, but I still can’t see him getting minutes for us. There’s interest in him from France and Turkey but it’s Eupen that take my favourite little Ivorian to Belgium for the season. Best of luck, Joël mate.

Yet another player linked with a move away is Zoun, who I must admit I’d be open to letting go, although I’d also be happy for him to stay. Lille are linked with the inside forward but Sissako tells the press that he should stay. That’s settled then, really. If he’s good enough for Abdoulaye, he’s good enough for me.

Our next friendly sees us take on Barnsley at Stade l’Abbé-Deschamps. We’re without Fabian McCarthy, Billy and Faouzi Hikem, who are all on International U23 duty with their respective nations but we’re still able to field a very strong side. Luke Freeman gets the ball into Anthony Gasnier’s net early on, but the goal’s ruled out for offside and the actual opening goal doesn’t come until first half injury time, when Mike Kakuba scrambles in a corner to give Auxerre the lead. We’re much more dominant in the second half, with Nathan Andre scoring a penalty when Aidir’s impeded in the box, before a late flurry sees Raf, Ruben Loftus-Cheek and Florian Ayé all find the net. The match ends 4-1.

176 1 68 post 5.png

The 21st of July is a big day as I identify 3 potential incoming signings. The first is Brazilian goalkeeper Vladimir who plays for Vasco de Gama in his homeland. Vlad’s exactly what I want in a backup goalkeeper: Experienced, solid and easily attainable. He’s unhappy where he is and has asked for a transfer away, but I offer to take him on loan for the season. The transfers tied up pretty quickly and Vlad becomes my second signing of the season.

The second player that catches my eye is Southampton’s 23 year old attacking midfielder Lamine Doumbia. Now I know what you’re thinking: “Franjo you rusty git, haven’t you just sent an attacking midfielder out on loan because you had too many and wanted to bring through an exciting youth player in that position?” The answer is yes, but Doumbia is a very tempting prospect. As I’ve said, there doesn’t seem to be much value in the transfer market for us this Summer and Doumbia is young, French, available on the cheap, fits my preferred mould of player and could potentially be a very good footballer. I make a speculative loan bid that includes an option to sign Lamine for his current £1.4M asking price.

176 1 73 doumbia.png

The third player is somebody that in truth I’ve had my eye on for a few weeks, as he’s got astounding quality and would be a real coup for the club if I can make the transfer happen. He’s transfer listed at Olympique Lyonnais for reasons that I’m yet to fathom but his £11.5M asking price is way out of my budget, so I leak my interest to the press in the hopes of unsettling him enough to force Lyon’s hand. I am of course talking about Memphis Depay.

Unfortunately, Depay himself seems to have little interest in joining Auxerre, so this one might be dead in the water. Southampton also reject my loan bid for Doumbia as they want to offload him permanently, so I hesitantly bid the £1.4M asking price up front. The Saints accept almost immediately and a contract is offered.

As we prepare for our next friendly, Fabian McCarthy puts in an intriguing performance for South Africa U23’s against Burkina Faso, looking lively and bagging a goal. I look forward to seeing the lad put in that kind of performance for us this season. Billy also looks good for Morocco’s youth team.

176 1 84 int duty.png

A trip to Ajax is the perfect way to ramp up the pre-season difficulty and we’re defeated in Amsterdam in a fairly even game. Florian Ayé hits the post in a scrappy first half, but Mark de Haan gets the hosts off the mark after 52 minutes. We equalise almost immediately thanks to Alessandro Bassani, but Ajax secure the victory with another de Haan goal and a third from Sven van Gelder. 1-3.

176 1 82 post 6

After sleeping on it, I give Doumbia’s agent a ring and cancel the deal. I think I’m trying to sign him for the sake of it and all his presence would do is stifle the progression of Mathis Roux and possibly even Fabian McCarthy. I’d also kick myself if a deal for Depay suddenly looked more realistic and I was £1.4M short of the asking price.

176 1 87 doumbia withdrawn

In goalkeeper news, I turn down offers from Denmark, Turkey, Poland and Belgium for Anthony Gasnier as I want him playing regular football and Vladimir, who I was planning to play in the next friendly, pulls a hamstring in training and will miss the next 4 weeks.

The season’s squad numbers only feature minor changes: Fabian McCarthy takes Adama Ba’s old no 10 shirt and Vlad gets the no 13, while a few young players are bumped up the pecking order a bit.

176 1 90 numbers176 1 91 numbers 2

Our friendly match against Newcastle United is far less eventful than you’d imagine inviting 700 Geordies to your Country would be. An extremely dominant Auxerre performance is let down by our poor finishing, with just 3 of our 20 shots actually hitting the target. The closest either team comes to finding the net is when Hicham Aidir rattles the post 10 minutes from time, but the match ends 0-0.

176 1 93 post 7.png

With the start of the new Season edging closer, the odds for Ligue 1’s title winners, top goalscorer and top player are released by the bookies. We’re at 1000-1 to win it all, which seems about right, Nathan Andre is our best bet again to bag the most goals with slightly deflating odds of 550-1, while Faouzi Hikem is 40-1 to be the best player in the entire league. I quite like the lad when he isn’t getting himself sent off, but I think the bookies might need to have another look at that one.

I must have been absolutely bursting for a punch up when I arranged these fixtures, because we say au revoir to the Geordies and get straight on a plane to Glasgow to face Celtic. I’m kidding of course. We’re here because Celtic should give us a bloody difficult game and so they do. Tony Ferguson gets the only goal in a dominant win for our Scottish hosts as they beat us handily, but I at least get a chance to give full 90 minute run outs to our first team players that are still short of match fitness.

176 1 99 post 8

The pièce de résistance of our pre-season though is a home tie against Benfica. Paulo Fonseca’s men, who finished 2nd behind Sporting in last season’s Liga Nos, have a decent team, but I’m still thinking about the fitness of the squad so we don’t quite field a full side.

176 1 100 formations

It all looks rosey at half time apart from the fact that Abdoulaye Sissako has to go off 20 minutes in with a dead leg. Alessandro Bassani finds the net in the 43rd minute and it looks like the visitors have no answer to our dominance, but the second half is a completely different story. We’re battered after the restart and Benfica find the net 4 times through Infantino, Roberto Alvarado, Alvarado again and Infantino again. The silver lining is that the first one was ruled out for offside. 1-3.

176 1 101 post 9

Luckily Sissako will only miss a few days and will be back for the start of the season. With the friendlies over and done with though, it’s time to get down to brass tax. First things first is the selection of this season’s captains. David Bechkoura recommends Hicham Aidir for the captaincy and Mamadou Doucouré as his vice and were I in a worse mood I’d probably fire him on the spot. Captiste is our captain. Aidir is our vice captain. That doesn’t change now.

176 1 103 captains.png

A couple of outgoing loan moves go through before the opening game against Metz: Amine Chassaing, Auxerre’s poster boy of wasted talent, and promising midfielder Georges Bailly go out to CA Bastia and Paris FC respectively for the season.

On the eve of our first match, Auxerre scout Stuart Harvey is spotted at Lyon’s 2-0 win over Lille watching Memphis Depay. In a way it’s unfortunate that the winger puts in such a good performance, heading in one of his side’s goals as he tries to prove that he should be taken off the transfer list. It seems he’s desperate to stay and Zlatan will surely be reconsidering his position. Maybe though. Just maybe there’s a chance we can get him in.

176 1 108 depay set to launch

But then comes the day: The 12th of August 2023. The start of AJ Auxerre’s second season back in the top flight of French football. As I board the Lorraine-bound plane I feel the corners of my lips involuntarily curling up into an anticipatory smile. I don’t know about you but to me it feels like this Summer’s gone on forever.

Let’s get this show back on the road.

176 1 107 build up 2

Mini-sode 176.5 >

Year 7 World Roundup – Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Mini-sode 175.5.5.5.5.5.5)

It’s time to look around and see what happened in the rest of the world over the 2022/23 season.

Sidenote (12/8): Alright listen, it’s going to be another week. I really thought I’d be ready to start the season tomorrow but even after writing literally all day Sunday I’m nowhere near where I’d need to be. The good news is that I should have more time this week to get everything sorted out so the new season WILL kick off on the 20th and may Hicham Aidir break every bone in his body if I’m wrong. Cheers for staying with me!

Start from the start with episode 1

< Mini-sode 175.5.5.5.5.5

I’ve got just about enough energy left to end this year with a walk around the corner to my favourite little café: Perk de l’abre sec. After all what is a yearly review of the world’s football without a cup of coffee in one hand and a mangled croissant in the other? You’d think after 2 years in France I’d know how to cut the fucking things without making the floor surrounding my table look like I’ve stepped on a land mine in a pâtisserie, but the crumbly bastards just won’t play ball. The familiar “ding-a-ling” from the old shopkeeper’s bell welcomes me in, as does the owner Louis, who shows me to my regular table. “Will anyone be joining you today, Monsieur Franjo?” He asks excitedly when I arrive.

“No, just me this time mate”, I smile back. He’s visibly disappointed. I’m a bit annoyed at this to be honest. No, Arsene Wenger’s not with me this time, but I’m the pissing France manager now, aren’t I Louis. Aren’t I enough?!

Never mind. With a pained creak, I pry open my dusty old laptop and boot it out of it’s 12 month hibernation. It’s time to look around and see what happened in the rest of the world over the 2022/23 season.

Screen Shot 2018-07-29 at 22.15.36

Aha! Change is in the air, people! Let’s focus on the most important thing to happen in the 2022/23 Premier League: Since the day I was born, manufactured or a combination of both 32 seasons ago, the number of times I’ve seen Everton finish above Liverpool could be counted on one hand and until now you’d still have enough fingers free to make a peace sign. But not anymore, baby! Merseyside is fucking blue! I know, I know, Stefano Pioli’s Blues finishing 7th is nothing exactly out of the ordinary and their achievement is mainly down to Ernesto Valverde’s disappointing half-season at the helm of their rivals across the park before he was replaced by Antonio Conte, but just… Let me have this, OK? Besides the Carabao Cup win in 2020, the last time the Toffees actually won a trophy I was almost certainly still pissing the bed.

But let’s begrudgingly move onto the subplot of the Premier League: The fact that José Mourinho’s Manchester United, winners of the division 3 times on the spin, have been dethroned thanks to a 3-2 final day defeat to José’s former club Chelsea, now managed by Unai Emery, which lifted the Londoners a single point clear of the Red Devils and won them the league.

Screen Shot 2018-08-04 at 19.26.58

But I know what you’re thinking. Big deal. I know. Hmm? What’s that? Oh yes, now that you mention it actually, Everton did do the double over Liverpool this season, beating the reds 3-2 away at 2-0 at The Old Lady. Crazy.

Alright fine, I’ll drop it. Jesus Chelsea, leave some narrative for the rest of the World, would you? I’d go as far as to say that in terms of context and drama this was the best Premier League win ever, possibly even trumping Man City’s famous “AGUEROOOO!” win in 2012. Luckily for United and by an extraordinary coincidence, they had the opportunity to redeem themselves shortly afterwards in the Champions League Final… But Chelsea won that too.

Screen Shot 2018-08-08 at 16.36.21

Despite his heroics, Emery found himself losing out on the Manager of the Year award to Leonardo Jardim, the former Olympiakos, Sporting, Monaco and Juventus boss who’s obviously taken over Stoke City, because football’s fucking mental. To be fair Stoke are a far cry from the side that’s plummeted towards the bottom 3 over the last 2 seasons after losing Jack Butland to Arsenal. They’re rebuilt and rejuvenated and their 1-1 draw at Palace on the final day secured a Europa League spot for the Potters ahead of Mr Wenger’s City.

To add to the extraordinary final day spectacle, only Jaap Stam’s Norwich were mathematically condemned to relegation going into the last round of results. Walter Mazzarri’s reign at Watford was ended after a disappointing start to the season and promising young manager Shane Long was the man tasked with keeping the Hornets afloat. On 32 points and a lesser goal difference than relegation rivals West Ham, he had to take his team to a win over Liverpool on the final day and hope that another result went his way.

Screen Shot 2018-08-08 at 17.04.42

The other result, because of course it was, was Razvan Lucescu’s West Ham v Michael Laudrup’s Middlesbrough, both of whom were also on 32 points. Only 1 of the 3 would secure survival. What ensued was… Actually pretty anti-climactic, as Watford were swiftly buried by 10 man Liverpool while the Hammers and the Boro played out a pretty awful 0-0. To be fair though West Ham absolutely dominated the match and if any of the 3 teams deserved to stay up on the day it was them. Still, what an end to a Premier League season. There was even a final day North London derby, but sadly the outcome wouldn’t have had any impact on the final standings.

Screen Shot 2018-07-29 at 22.16.17

The Premier League Team of the Season offers up some surprises this year, along with some players that have become so synonymous with the Team of the Year that they may as well just sign a contract with it. “Toby Alderweireld and Dele Alli? Yeah they play for Team of the Year. Oh and Spurs.”

David de Gea of the League Runners up Manchester United retains his place in net having won his 5th Golden Glove in 7 years and is protected by a back 4 including Nathaniel Clyne, who plays for Merseyside’s 2nd best club, that man Alderweireld, still dominating in Tottenham’s lily-white shirt at the tender age of 34 and 2 TOTY newbies in Chelsea’s Argentine defender/holding man Tomás Maffoni, who finally manages to oust team mate Aymeric Laporte, and United’s Luke Shaw. TOTY stalwarts Dele Alli, Isco of Manchester City and Footballer of the Year/Players’ Player of the Year Paul Pogba of United partner each other in central midfield for the third successive season and are joined this year by Chelsea’s Italian winger Federico Bernadeschi. The Red Devils’ Paulo Dybala is another familiar face, having now made the squad in 4 successive seasons since moving to Blighty, but this time he’s partnered up front by Chelsea prodigy Oliver Webb, who was the Prem’s top scorer with 22 goals in 34 and won the Young Player of the Year award to boot.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Screen Shot 2018-08-02 at 18.29.54

And so to the Championship. After proving beyond doubt in the FA Cup that they can still mix with the elite on their day, Alex Neil’s Brighton and António Carvalho’s Leicester are welcomed back to the top flight. The Foxes beat tough competition in the playoffs in Gary Bowyer’s Wolves and Stevie Crawford’s Derby County and will also be joined in the Premier League by everybody’s favourite yo-yo club Burnley, managed by Paul Heckingbottom. Spare a thought for Brian McDermott though, who last year abandoned relegated Portsmouth for QPR and this year got sacked for getting QPR relegated, proving beyond a doubt that Championship clubs should probably stop hiring him.

Screen Shot 2018-08-02 at 18.30.31

Well I feel like a right twat. Oh, I can’t pick Moussa Dembélé for France until he moves to a bigger club, he said, without so much as glancing at the bloody La Liga table. The big stories in Spain this season have been the excellent showings of Real Sociedad and Betis, who finished 4th and 5th, with Sociedad’s Dembélé and Betis’ Pedro Javier particularly impressing as the top scorers in the division. Betis boss Sergio González landed the Manager of the Year award for his quite absurd overachievement, but Javi Gracia is unlucky to miss out.

Jürgen Klopp has finally repaid the Barca board’s faith in him by lifting the league title at the 3rd attempt. I’ve got to say I like the way this league’s heading in terms of competitiveness. It’s actually truly unpredictable again nowadays, with the big 3 teams having all won the league in the last 3 years. Having said that, this season’s title race wasn’t exactly close. Didier Deschamps’ Atletico Madrid came in 2nd, 5 points behind the winners, with Rodolfo Borrell’s Real trailing by a distance.

Screen Shot 2018-08-02 at 18.34.51

The La Liga Team of the Year doesn’t contain quite as many surprises as in the Premier League, with a lot of the usual suspects making the cut. The Champions’ oh so dependable goalkeeper Marc-André ter Stegen makes his 3rd appearance in 4 years behind a veteran defence of Atleti’s Alessandro Florenzi, Real Madrid pair Raphaël Varane and Sergio Ramos, the latter of which has finally decided to hang up his boots at 37, and Sevilla’s Presnel Kimpembe. In midfield, Real’s Eden Hazard is joined by young José Luis Hernandéz of Atleti, Sevilla’s Sergi Samper and Barca’s La Liga Player of the Year award winner Neymar Jr. Up front, Moussa Dembélé is callously cast aside as Pedro Javier is partnered by Lionel Messi, who at 35 has also decided to call time on his career this summer. As probably the only ever-present in my yearly roundup of the top European leagues’ “Team of the Year”s, we salute you, Leo. As shit as Argentina have been over the last couple of decades, football has enjoyed you.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Hey, do you know what we never talk about? The domestic Cups in England. I don’t know why, but I just think that this would be a terrific time to start doing so, so here’s what I’ve neglected to mention over the last 7 years:

The Carabao Cup, which is a silly name and definitely shouldn’t have stuck indefinitely like it has, has been won by Arsenal, United, City, Everton, United again and Watford over the last 6 seasons, with some nice novel clubs getting to the final like West Ham, West Brom, Swansea… Everton I suppose.

Screen Shot 2018-08-08 at 16.26.53

But 2022/23 has been Bournemouth’s year. Even though I hope to one day stomp them into mush, I think Hull City deserve an honourable mention for getting past Stoke and Manchester United before losing their semi-final to Chelsea 4-5, while the Cherries eased past Arsenal, edged past Boro and tore through Wednesday to meet the eventual double winners in the Final.

Screen Shot 2018-08-08 at 16.25.22

But the Londoners had the bare faced cheek to field a second string team and paid the price, with Bournemouth deservedly coming away from a packed Wembley Stadium with their first ever major trophy thanks to a 3-1 win.

Screen Shot 2018-08-08 at 16.36.40.png

The FA Cup has not been won by a team out of “The Big 6” in quite a while now. Spurs have won it twice in the last 6 seasons and been runners up twice more to United and Chelsea, which has thankfully made people finally shut the fuck up about whether Mauricio Pochettino can really be considered a top manager. It turns out that yes, he can. Fucking clearly. Liverpool and City have also picked up recent FA Cups while Hull deserve another honourable mention for getting to the 2019/20 Final.

Screen Shot 2018-08-08 at 16.27.08

Oh now I remember why this is the season that I want to talk about these competitions. It actually almost slipped my mind but Everton have won their first FA Cup in 28 years! I know, pretty biased aren’t I. Please refer to my previous bed-wetting statement. It was a weird year in the FA Cup and especially for the aforementioned “Big 6”, with Manchester United falling to Championship side Leicester City and Liverpool losing to Hull in the 3rd round, Tottenham and Arsenal shocked by another Championship outfit Brighton and Hove Albion in the 3rd and 6th rounds and Chelsea and City both knocked out by the Toffees in the 4th and 6th rounds respectively. That left a mouth watering couple of semi-finals between the giant killers of Brighton and Everton against the dark horses Watford and potential double winners Bournemouth. Both were hard fought matches but it was relegated Watford and eventual winners Everton who scraped through.

Screen Shot 2018-08-08 at 16.25.02

My eyes widen as I see who ran the show at Wembley: Everton’s right winger Yann Karamoh chalked out Ben Osborn’s early opener and didn’t stop chalking until there was chalk fucking everywhere, making the markings on the Wembley pitch quite difficult to make out. By the end of the 90 minutes he had a hat trick in the bag and an FA Cup on the CV. Yann didn’t particularly impress me in the lone start he’s made for my France side against Albania, but now I have to give him another look.

Screen Shot 2018-08-08 at 16.43.13

Screen Shot 2018-08-02 at 18.47.46.png

Lo, is that change I see riding over the horizon on a shining white horse, ready to inject interest into this, the most frustrating of divisions? Of course not. Looking more closely, what I thought was change is actually just miserable predictability and what I thought was a white horse turns out to be nothing but a sickly anaemic dog, who staggers forwards a few feet, falls arse-first into a puddle and coughs up the same old shit I’ve been describing for the last 7 years.

I’m not even going to mention who’s won the Bundesliga. Thomas Tuchel’s Dortmund came comfortably 2nd though if you need a hint. Let’s gloss over all that and give a mention to Dieter Hecking and his remarkable showing with Hertha Berlin this year, who have gone from relegation strugglers to finishing in the Europa League spots. Dieter rightfully won the Manager of the Year and Players’ Manager of the Year awards.

Screen Shot 2018-08-02 at 18.49.58

The team that won the Bundesliga had 7 players in the Team of the Year, so let’s gloss over each and every one of them because of course they were all good. In defence Dortmund’s Niklas Süle makes an appearance, as does his team mate Mario Götze who takes the number 10 spot. Kai Havertz of Leverkusen is nailed on to be one of the league’s top performers at this point and takes one of the midfield spots, while the Bundesliga top scorer Divock Origi is selected as the lone striker.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Screen Shot 2018-08-02 at 18.54.55

You know what, I’d quite like Luis Enrique to take over one of the Bundesliga clubs. Not the one that keeps boring me to death by winning the league obviously but one of the others, because he’s certainly done a number on Serie A. His AC Milan side have become the first non-Juventus team to retain the Serie A since their local rivals Inter in 2010 and they did it at a canter, so much so that I’m actually worried that they’ll become the next team to bore me to death in years to come. Inter did put up a decent fight under the steady hand of Oleg Luzhnyi but were 7 points behind in the end. Luciano Spalletti’s Roma and Matteo Brighi’s Juve were close behind and filled out the top 4. Special shout outs to Andrea Stramaccioni’s Genoa, who retained a Europa League place and Manager of the Year Massimo Carrera’s Chievo, who unbelievably finished 5th. Neither of those sides should be anywhere near Europe on paper and that is what I love to see. Lazio are also well and truly back in the Serie A following their relegation 3 years ago. They’ve finished 8th, although it did take them 3 managers to get them there. Not that I’m bitter.

Screen Shot 2018-08-02 at 18.55.14.png

The Serie A Team of the Year features a nice mix of the top 4 teams’ players. Juventus’ Gerónimo  Rulli, Goalkeeper of the Year 4 times in 5 years, is in there once again and is joined by his team’s central defensive duo Leonardo Bonucci and Nacho. Bonucci by the way secured the Serie A Player of the Year award for the 8th season in a row, as well as Defender of the Year and Italian Player of the Year awards. Also in defence were league winners Milan’s Martín Montoya and Inter’s Luca Pellegrini. Roma’s Uruguayan holding man Lucas Torreira makes the cut in a midfield triangle with Inter’s Marcelo Brozovic and Milan’s Brazilian midfielder Lincoln, who it’s fair to say has impressed this season, winning the Midfielder of the Year, Foreign Player of the Year and Fans’ Player of the Year awards. The one “outsider” in the team is Fiorentina’s Slovenian striker Jan Mlakar, who actually finished as the league’s top scorer even ahead of Juve’s Striker of the Year Florian Andone and Roma… Striker… Davy Klassen.

Europa League

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Screen Shot 2018-08-10 at 04.11.46

Screen Shot 2018-08-10 at 04.12.46

Champions League

Screen Shot 2018-08-10 at 04.10.40

I flick over to the Ligue 1 table reflexively, before realising that I know exactly how everything went down in France this season. I know one of the Continent’s top leagues intimately at this point and that’s a strange feeling. Gone are the days of thinking “Some day I’ll be there”, “Some day that’ll be me” or I think at one point I said “One amazing season or massive fluke and we’ll be up there”. We’re past that. We’re in it. We’ve survived in it.

I close my laptop, throw my trusty grey coat over my shoulders and give a wave of thanks to Louis as I head for the door of the café. “Ding-a-ling” goes the old shop keepers bell as I step into the cool Auxerrois air.

Let’s go do it again.

Episode 176 >

Year 7 Review (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Mini-sode 175.5.5.5.5.5)

Let’s have a look back on year 7.

Sidenote 2: How naive I was. How optimistic I was about my chances of having enough free time last week to sort this bad boy out. Sadly I’ve not so it’s going to be another week before we can kick off 23/24. I’ll try and fit an extra mini-sode in this week but again it depends on how busy this week is!

Sidenote: I had the last minute idea of doing self-assessment scores out of 10 for the season (One each for club and country) but at the risk of demolishing my self esteem I’d also like you to cordially invite you all to RATE US. Let me know how you’d rate our performance this year and maybe we’ll make a yearly thing of it. Also daily episodes back on Monday!

Start from the start with episode 1

< Mini-sode 175.5.5.5.5

I open the door to my Auxerre flat, sling my trusty grey coat on the nearest armchair, step over the stagnant paddling pool, walk into my bedroom and collapse on the bed. This season has been interesting, frustrating, gratifying, but it’s been fucking exhausting at times. Losing Ba straight off the bat was a headache, losing Aguilar a short while later wasn’t ideal, Aidir’s lethal goal-drought/broken-leg combo had me on the ropes and losing Andre and Doucouré to broken ankles and Crouch to Hull had me on the verge of meltdown. Was there a point where I doubted my team’s ability? Yes. Was there a point where I doubted my own ability? Absolutely. But in the end, I can call this season an unquestionable success on both the domestic and International fronts. Let’s have a look back on year 7.

Screen Shot 2018-07-27 at 14.47.07

France

Honours: European International League Champions

Record: W8 D1 L1

Key Players: Djibril Sidibé, Tiémoué Bakayoko, Thomas Lemar, Paul Pogba, Kylien Mbappé, Antoine Griezmann

Highlight: France 5-1 Portugal in the EIL Final

Lowlight: Netherlands 3-1 France in the EIL Division A Group 1

It’s weird, here we are a year down the line and I’m still not sure that the magnitude of having the France job has hit me yet. I mean, it’s France! Reigning World Champions France! And yet my mind has been 90% on my club side this year, with the National Team job very much playing second fiddle. All in all I can’t complain with the year I’ve had with this team of global all-stars. We drew a friendly against Austria with the second string in my second game in charge and we lost against the Netherlands, which taught me that I might not be able to attack in every single game we play, but apart from that most of the year’s been a breeze. I think we can agree that the Italy game was our toughest challenge, but in my opinion 2023/24 is going to be much more educational, when we’ll presumably have to let some old favourites go, bring through some fresh blood and top it all off with a trip to the Euros. I can’t wait.

Franjo’s Self-Assessment Score for France 2022/23

8/10 – Pretty much did as well as we could have, albeit with very few actual hurdles. Probably could’ve done better bringing through the next crop of players.

Screen Shot 2018-07-27 at 14.56.45.png

Association de la Jeunesse Auxerroise

Final Position: 17th

Record: W15 D7 L23

Key Players: Xavier Lenogue, Baptiste “Captiste” Aloé, Mamadou Doucouré, Loïc Goujon, Arturo Vidal, Abdoulaye Sissako, Lamine Fomba, Phil Foden

Highlight: Getting a penalty shootout away from the Coupe de la Ligue Final is up there, but for me it’s the fightback from 1-4 down to draw 4-4 with Zlatan’s Lyon

Lowlight: Auxerre 1-5 FC Sochaux-Montbé

Winning the EIL was fantastic, but keeping Auxerre in Ligue 1 is the achievement that I’m most proud of from this season. Goal droughts, tantrums, some tactical… Snafus… And a couple of horribly unfortunate injury pileups looked certain to drag us straight back to Ligue 2, but a few performances of pure class towards the end of the season inspired by the likes of Captiste, Zoun, Brahim Ferhat and big Phil Foden lifted us just 3 points clear of the mire with an entire game to spare. 

175.5.5.5 1 1 best xi175.5.5.5 1 1 best xi 2

Somewhat surprisingly and pleasingly, Lamine Fomba is voted the Fans’ Player of the Season with almost half of the votes. I almost expected Ruben Aguilar to be voted the top dog once again in some kind of protest, but Lamine is probably as worthy of winning the award as anyone. He’s not had as much game time as he might have as we’ve been quite flush with central midfielders that have performed well, so he’s been behind the likes of Vidal, Goujon and Sissako in the pecking order. When he has played he’s been good and he’s even helped us to a couple of key results, with his equaliser in our 1-1 draw with Paris Saint-Germain the obvious example. Trailing behind Lamine by some way are Goujon and Foden, while Sissako scoops the Goal of the Season award for his piledriver in our 1-0 CDLL Quarter Final win over Sochaux. Phil Foden wins the Young Player of the Season award and I’ll get behind that. He’s one of these players that I sometimes forget is as young as he is, because he’s become so crucial to this Auxerre side at just 22. What I can’t quite wrap my head around though is how Fabian McCarthy picks up the Signing of the Season award. Granted he had a 50/50 chance, with only he and Vidal being signed this season, but I don’t mind admitting that my record signing, from what I’ve seen so far, might be my worst in all my 7 years as a manager. In 25 appearances, 11 of which were off the bench, he’s registered a single assist and has offered little to the midfield going either backwards of forwards. Yes he had a period of decent form before Christmas but then AFCON got in the way, then his injury and he never really got to carry it on. The good news is that he’s 20 years old, so hopefully he’s not even begun to show me what he’s capable of and will prove me wrong in the coming season. The Team of the Season holds a couple of surprises too: Vidal’s left out in favour of Goujon, who has been terrific to be fair, and Zoun makes an appearance on the left wing with Ferhat picked as the central striker. I’ve heard talk among the backroom staff that I might be a bit harsh on my evaluations of Zoun from time to time, but there’s no doubt he’s put in some important performances for us this season.

175.5.5.5 1 3 end of season awards

Nathan Andre finished as our top goalscorer with 9 goals, 8 of which were scored by the end of November. How long ago that France call up seems now. I’ve still got high hopes for Nathan though and now that he’s back from his broken ankle, I want to get him a full pre-season and really watch him flourish next year. Lamine Fomba was our highest rated player, so good choice fans, while Phil Foden registered the most assists with 6. Bizarrely, Florian Ayé was our tidiest passer in the 12 fleeting appearances he made, while Sissako, Captiste, Fomba, Foden and Andre all picked up 3 Player of the Match awards apiece. Goujon and Samba were shown 12 yellow cards each but they’re tough tackling lads and I’ve got no problem with that. Faouzi Hikem however is still in my bad books for his 2 red cards, the latest of which might have cost us our Ligue 1 status.

175.5.5.5 1 4 end of season awards 2

175.5.5.5 1 5 review

175.5.5.5 1 6 confidence

Last year I had a lot of fun pouring over the league’s stats and seeing where Auxerre ranked in each category. My inner nerd delighted in seeing which particular areas we’d beaten the competition in. This year I’ve had less fun with that, but let’s start by looking at the positives: We’ve actually had the 3rd most possession in the league (54.34%) behind just PSG and Monaco, we’ve completed the 4th most passes (17421) and had the 4th most shots on target (254). Also just like last year we’ve been quite good in the air, winning the 4th most headers (1970) and scoring the 5th most goals from corners (7).

There is however a flip-side, as you’d expect. Some of these stats I don’t mind too much because as we’ve covered, I prefer a certain type of footballer and this certain type of footballer commits a metric shit-tonne of fouls, so true to form we’ve committed the 5th most fouls (475) and received the 5th most yellows (73).

Then you’ve got the less excusable stats, such as:

Goals conceded – 20th in the League (71).

Screen Shot 2018-07-27 at 15.41.59

Goals conceded from corners – Joint 18th in the League (8).

Screen Shot 2018-07-27 at 15.42.27

Goals conceded from indirect free kicks – 19th in the League (7). Remember when I said we’d been quite good in the air?

Screen Shot 2018-07-27 at 15.42.37

Clean Sheets – Joint 17th in the League (5).

Screen Shot 2018-07-27 at 15.43.05

But in my defence, we did have the smallest net transfer spend in the League, actually making £587k in transfer fees thanks to certain individuals that have run the club into the fucking ground over the last decade or so and made signing players a rarer occurrance at Auxerre than Halley’s fucking Comet. We were also the team with the 3rd smallest wage budget (£9.54M), above Ajaccio and some way above Bourg, who managed to finish 15th on an absolute pittance. Fair play to them, they keep impressing.

Screen Shot 2018-07-27 at 15.44.16Screen Shot 2018-07-27 at 15.44.26

There’s not much to speak about with regard to individual stats – It’s been hard for me this year to pick out a single player who’s had the most impact on the team as it really has been a kind of “All hands on deck” season with everyone mucking in. I have however scraped the barrel enough to pick out a couple of stats worthy of recognition: Brahim Ferhat, who I’ve been irresponsibly reliant on for a lad of his age, has made the 7th most key passes in the league (37) and the man who I’m starting to think could be my assistant one day, Captiste, has made the 3rd most key headers (109).

But speaking of individual accolades, it’s time for the big one. The Second Annual Franjo Award For Unappreciated Excellence. I’ve mentioned how difficult I’ve found it to pick one outstanding candidate from this season and it seems that you’ve shared my struggle on this, with some lobbying for players like Lenogue, Fomba and Zoun to make it onto the shortlist (In retrospect, Fomba at least is a no-brainer and should’ve made it on), while poor Isaac Sohna failed to win a single vote. I’m probably going to make the criteria for next year’s vote a bit different so that people can vote for players that I personally haven’t appreciated enough, or maybe I’ll make it a different award altogether. Anyway, here’s how the votes for the SAFAFUE ended up:

SAFAFUE

0% – Isaac Sohna

2.7% – (Other) Mamadou Doucouré

5.4% – (Other) Lamine Fomba

8.1% – Arturo Vidal

16.2% – (Other) Xavier Lenogue

18.9% – Phil Foden

But the winner… Sorry, the winners with 24.3% of the votes apiece are Abdoulaye Sissako and Captiste! Captiste looked set to scoop the award but an eleventh hour vote took Abdoulaye up to level pegging with our skipper. I did actually have a trophy made this time but I really didn’t expect a tie and I think it’d be unfair to only give it out to one of them… So in lieu of that I’m over the moon to be able to present the 2 winners with… Erm… Hang on… £4.78 in loose change and a dib dab! Lads, that’s to share. OK? To share. I don’t want to hear stories about Captiste hogging the lot by threatening the hard working midfielder with force lightning or… You know… The push one.

Franjo’s Self-Assessment Score for Auxerre 2022/23

7/10 – Staying up was the goal and we got there. Eventually.

Screen Shot 2018-07-27 at 14.47.49

Santos Football Club

Oh Boebie. I can only really echo my sentiments from last year, it pains me to see Santos miss the opportunity they had to establish themselves as a top half club. After only spending £69k of the initial £1.5M I paid for the Santos 4 after my departure, they’ve been sell-to-buy this year, spending £160k and bringing in £200k. I imagine that last Summer’s mass exodus didn’t help either, with Sinbad, Visser, Roscoe, Diale, Lark, Gogotya and Japhta all let go on free transfers. I know a couple of them are getting on a bit but that’s half the bloody Santos team! And why aren’t they spending money on replacements?! Where’s the Arteta money gone, Bill?! I mean… No, not that. Sorry, that just slips out sometimes. Anyway, on the positive side Captain Komo still proudly wears the armband for his boyhood club, who did in all fairness improve on last year’s 12th place finish. By 1 place. I still want more though, Santos. Maybe next year.

Screen Shot 2018-07-27 at 14.47.36

The Principality of Liechtenstein

Does anyone want to take a guess at how Liechtenstein have done this year? They actually started OK with back to back draws in the EIL Division D against Belarus, the Faroe Islands and Armenia, before a home win over the Faroe Islands, who they actually ended up finishing above. Sadly though that’s where it all went predictably downhill for the poor Liechtensteiner squad: 6 games played, 4 goals scored, 15 conceded, 6 defeats. Their next game’s in September. In the Euro 2024 Qualifiers. Against France.

Screen Shot 2018-07-27 at 14.48.01

Górniczy Klub Sportowy Katowice

Tomasz Mazurkiewicz’s men have had a good season after last year’s disappointment. A completely respectable 5th place finish in the league, just behind Dennis Lawrence’s Jagiellonia, got them into the Championship Group. They finished 8th out of 8 in the end, but still. They’ve definitely established themselves as a Lotto Ekstraklasa side now after 5 years in the division and that’s genuinely good to see. Dennis by the way held his side in 4th place in the Championship Group, just barely missing out on a Europa League place. Did I mention that I taught him everything he knows?

Screen Shot 2018-07-27 at 14.48.13

Sport Clube Angrense

Angrense have had a bit of a disappointing season really, by the high standards that they’ve set themselves with 2 5th place finishes in 3 years. Jorge Vieira’s men ended up in 9th, which is definitely respectable but disappointing all the same. There’s few things I’d enjoy more than seeing Os Heróis climb up to the Liga Nos and entertain the likes of Sporting, Porto and Benfica but for now they’re bobbing about a bit in the top half of the 2nd tier. Let’s have another 5th place finish next year please lads, or maybe even higher.

Screen Shot 2018-07-27 at 14.48.26

FC Höllviken

I think it’s fair to say that Höllviken have stagnated somewhat, isn’t it… I’ve officially run out of things to say about them at this point, but again I’m hoping that they’ll some day find their way back…

In fact I do have something to say about Höllviken actually and I’m in danger of going off on a bit of a rant, because I pride myself on the success that my former teams have enjoyed since my departure. I’ve been responsible with their finances, their infrastructures and their youth set ups because I don’t want to just run a team into the ground for personal short term success, so it absolutely does my head in that Höllviken have gone the other way. So I tell you what: If they haven’t resurfaced to the 3rd tier by the time I’ve enjoyed success and achieved my goals in the World’s top leagues, I’ll go and get the bastards myself.

Mini-sode 175.5.5.5.5.5.5 >

France v Portugal – EIL 2023 Final (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Mini-sode 175.5.5.5.5)

Start from the start with episode 1

< Mini-sode 175.5.5.5

175.5.5 2 2 gauthier delighted

In the wake of our ridiculous 5-4 extra time victory over Italy, I’ve got plenty to chew over. We broke 2 European International League records in the semi-final for the fastest goal scored (As offside as that cheeky scamp Griezmann was) and for the most goals in a match.

175.5.5 2 5 record goals

175.5.5 2 6 griezmann quickes

Both of these are big pluses in my book. I took this job with the sole intention of winning trophies using the exciting, entertaining football that a side of this quality should be playing. So good. There is however the small matter of our defensive performance, or lack there of. As much as I could point the finger at our defence and Samuel Umtiti in particular, our attacking style involves pretty much completely abandoning the centre backs to hold the fort on their own. Maybe I should sacrifice the free flowing football slightly to allow us to be a bit tighter at the back…

However I won’t be doing that today. An EIL final is hardly the place to experiment as it’s a chance to actually win some silverware at international level, so we’ll be sticking with Project: Renaissance for better or worse. In the other semi final, Spain and Portugal went to penalties, but it was the Portuguese who came through and booked themselves a showpiece match against my French side. We’ll have home advantage once again as the higher seeded team while whoever wins will bring EIL glory to their nation for the first time, with neither side having enjoyed previous success in the admittedly very new competition.

175.5.5 2 3 other semi

175.5.5 2 4 build up.png

175.5.5 2 18 preview.png

I’m making just one change for the final: Thomas Lemar comes in for the tired Kingsley Coman. As I alluded to before I’m placing the blame for our defensive frailties on my own shoulders, so Leo Gauthier, Raphaël Varane and Samuel Umtiti all keep their places.

175.5.5 2 19 formations.png

12 minutes in, Thomas Lemar swings in a corner but it’s cleared as far as that man Griezmann, 25 yards out. Our vice-captain passes to Mbappé just inside the box and he turns, pulls the trigger and sees his effort take a massive deflection off João Mario before bobbling into the net. Not a particularly pretty goal but I punch the air all the same. Say what you will about our dodgy defence, these lads can find the net in their sleep.

10 minutes later Portugal are looking severely lacklustre up front though. I think after being taken to school against a fluid Italian front 2, Varane and Umtiti are relishing the opportunity to have just one lone striker to mark between them. Andre Silva is being left all on his own against the pair and it’s showing as Portugal struggle to find a foothold in the game. One particular potential chance ends abruptly when Varane steps out of defence and tackles Silva, after which Mbappé and Sidibé exchange a few passes to move us up the right wing, Sidibé gets a cross in from the byline and Lemar arrives late in the box to head in our 2nd.

10 minutes from half time Silva does give the Portuguese something to cheer when he manages to get goal side of Varane and latches onto a great Guedes pass, before battering the ball past Gauthier. Only a few minutes later though we’re 3-1 up when Lemar’s free kick into the box is headed away as far as Griezmann but Lemar busts a gut to get into the 6 yard box and support. Griezmann threads him through and the finish is simple, restoring our 2 goal lead.

I’d be satisfied with 3-1 at half time but my team certainly aren’t. With 4 minutes to play before the break, Mendy plays a one-two with Lemar from a throw in on the left before crossing right footed into the box. Mbappé cushions the ball down with his head, Griezmann lets it drop over his shoulder and my god, he even puts Bakayoko’s semi-final volley to shame, rifling the ball into the top right corner with jaw-dropping technique. At half time the score’s France 4, Portugal 1.

A quarter of an hour into the second period it’s still 4-1 and I give Neal Maupay a run out and Pogba a deserved rest. Griezmann drops back into the hole. With 10 minutes of the game to play Maupay helps grab us a 5th too, powering into Portugal’s half after we clear their corner, dancing past Danilo onto the right wing and unselfishly squaring for Thomas Lemar, who takes a touch and completes his hat trick with a simple finish. At 5-1, Florian Thauvin replaces the hat trick hero for no other reason than I’m pretty sure he’ll never get another chance of winning a cap.

The last dregs of the match see Silva very nearly get his nation a 2nd goal, running between our 2 centre backs to pick up a Raúl pass from deep on the right. He shoots maliciously at goal but Gauthier dives to his right to bat the ball behind with a strong hand. Good lad.

175.5.5 2 20 post

As the referee finally calls time on my seventh Managerial season with a shrill blast of his whistle, I take a moment just to absorb some of the noise that fills the Stade de France, shaking the stadium right down to it’s foundations. We may not have won a World Cup, we may not have a European Championship, but fuck me we’ve won an International trophy. Auxerre are still a Ligue 1 club and France are the winners of the 2023 European International League. If that doesn’t constitute a good season, I don’t know what does.

175.5.5 3 1 win

175.5.5 3 2 tradition

175.5.5 3 4 france optimistic

175.5.5 3 5 positive

175.5.5 3 7 france duty ends

175.5.5 3 8 thauvin proud

Mini-sode 175.5.5.5.5.5 >

France v Italy – EIL 2023 Semi-Final (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Mini-sode 175.5.5.5)

I’m not budging from our plan of beautiful attacking football.

Start from the start with episode 1

< Mini-sode 175.5.5

175.5.5 1 1 judgement day

“Ready, Leo?” I grin reassuringly towards the young Sochaux keeper; our number 1 for the day. He nods and manages a thin smile, but he has the look of a man who’s really trying to stop himself from bringing his breakfast back up. Lionel Gauthier already made his France debut against Albania in March but I’m putting a massive amount of responsibility on his young shoulders here, as between you and me he’s the one that I think can fill the Lloris-shaped gap in this France squad long-term.

Screen Shot 2018-07-18 at 20.17.47

175.5.5 1 12 preview

In front of Leo I’m not fielding any surprises at all. Fortunately we’re playing on our home turf at the Stade de France, so I’m not budging from our plan of beautiful attacking football. We go Project: Renaissance with Sidibé, Varane, Umtiti and Mendy in defence, Bakayoko and Coquelin in the centre and Coman, Pogba and Mbappé behind Griezmann.

175.5.5 1 13 formations

BAM! France get off to the most flying of starts with a goal inside 30 seconds. We work the ball through the middle, the Pogman shows his class with a superb chip between 2 Italian defenders, Sidibé half-volleys the ball across the face of goal and Antoine Griezmann nods it past Gianluigi Donnarumma. Was Griezmann stood in an offside position when the ball was played? Absolutely. Do we give even a single shit? 1-0.

5 minutes later we’re in dreamland at 2-0 when Coman carries the ball forward and squares it for Pogba. He goes for the first time shot but Rugani gets a block in, sending the ball trickling towards the far post for Griezmann to slot in again.

Fair play to Italy though, a lesser team would be shellshocked by such a horrific opening 6 minutes, but they pull one back before the 10 minute mark when Belotti and Chiesa play the ball between themselves all the way through our half. Our centre backs are at an absolute loss to stop them as they dance towards the box, and then Belotti finishes emphatically into the top corner. As exciting a start as it’s been, I tell Coquelin to stay back a bit and help out the defence.

4 minutes later our 2 goal lead’s restored. Kylien Mbappé sits narrow and slips a pass through for the overlapping Mendy, who bombs towards goal. His shot comes back off the near post but Mbappé’s on hand to drill his 20th goal for the national team past the beleaguered Paris Saint-Germain goalkeeper. The excitement keeps coming when Belotti and Chiesa link up yet again in the 16th minute, with Belottu threading a good through ball into his striker partner’s path so he can place it out of Gauthier’s reach. It’s just been your bog-standard 16 minute 3-2 affair so far.

Surprisingly the loudest cheer of the first half comes just before the half hour when Belotti once again releases Chiesa, who gets himself goal-side of Umtiti, runs through on goal and shoots, but Gauthier holds onto the ball. The crowd go wild as the first save of the game is made. At 3-2. With 5 minutes to go Chiesa escapes Umtiti’s attention yet again when Verratti passes it in from the right. Chiesa takes a good touch to get clear of our centre back and then blasts the equaliser past Gauthier, who should do better too really.

With just injury time separating us from the half time break, I get that inevitable sinking feeling when Belotti attempts another pass through for Chiesa, but this time Umtiti beats him to it, drawing an ironic cheer from the Italian fans and some of the French ones too. We move the ball back up the pitch with sharp incisive passes until Mendy swings a cross in from the left wing, but Rugani beats Griezmann in the air and heads it clear. The ball comes as far as Bakayoko on the edge of the box and he watches it all the way onto his laces, before hitting one of the cleanest volleys I’ve ever seen, sending the ball rocketing into the bottom left corner.

It’s virtually impossible for the second half to live up to the same excitement level as the first and it’s more of a scrappy affair for the first half hour or so. I throw Thomas Lemar on for Coman and he gets involved almost instantly, taking part in a superb one-touch move in from the right wing. Lemar passes to Griezmann, who passes it straight on to Mbappé and from 8 yards out he absolutely balloons it. It’s a real chance wasted. What makes it worse is that within a minute Italy equalise once more. Chiesa dances past Umtiti like he does and latches onto a long ball from Sacchi before running through and rolling the ball past Gauthier for 4-4.

We go close late on, with Bakayoko, Pogba and Lemar having efforts either blocked or turned away by Donnarumma in quick succession. With 90 minutes all but up, Ongenda comes on replacing Coquelin as I keep one eye on penalties. Pogba drops back beside Bakayoko with Ongenda playing off Griezmann.

Extra time follows the pattern of the second half with chances at far more of a premium than the first 45 minutes, but Italy go closest to a 5th goal in the first period when Chiesa turns provider for Belotti, who (Surprise, surprise) goes past Umtiti like he isn’t even there. Belotti runs through on goal but Gauthier dives across goal to parry the shot behind.

With 2 minutes to go in extra time and with the shootout looming, we finally get a chance through a corner on the left hand side. Thomas Lemar floats the ball towards the penalty spot and Benjamin Mendy goes to meet it… But he’s shoved to the floor by Bonucci. The referee points to the spot, while the second youngest Frenchman on the pitch picks up the ball and steps forward. Kylien Mbappé in the 118th minute places the ball on the penalty spot and stares down Donnarumma. He runs up… AND SCORES! Slammed down the middle.

Spurred on by one of the most amazing halves of football I’ve ever seen, France have just barely vindicated our all-out attacking style and it’s seen us into our first ever European International League Final. Vive la fucking Franj.

175.5.5 1 14 post

175.5.5 2 1 win

Mini-sode 175.5.5.5.5 >

Squad Announcement – EIL 2023 (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Mini-sode 175.5.5)

Today is European International League Semi-Final squad announcement day.

Start from the start with episode 1

< Mini-sode 175.5

It’s time to put Auxerre out of my head. The season’s over, I’m tied down for the immediate future and I’m genuinely pretty excited about that, but today is European International League Semi-Final squad announcement day.

175 3 26 france squad

In similar fashion to my last squad, I’ve sought out a nice mix here of experience and youth. In fact youth’s a bit of a relative term, isn’t it. Right now it means anyone who’s under 30 and so probably has another world cup in them. First let’s have a look at some of the exclusions, because that’s certainly what the media are keen to focus on.

Spurs’ long serving goalkeeper Hugo Lloris is almost certainly the biggest name to be left at home. Yes I know what I said when I included him in my first squad: ‘He’ll be pushing 40 by the next World Cup but that doesn’t necessarily mean that he won’t be of use to me then.’ Goalkeepers often age like a fine wine, only growing more experienced with age, but I’m 90% certain this is the end of Hugo’s decorated International career. Long, long gone are the days when he was the archetypal sweeper-keeper, dashing out of his area to clear a loose ball and avert danger. As good a keeper as he is, he’s slowing and on the downward curve. We’ve got a myriad of talented younger goalkeepers and I think that by taking the sentimental option and keeping him on any longer, I’d be doing the nation a disservice in the long run.

175 3 27 1 lloris

With Hugo out, a lot of the press expect a first cap for Swansea’s Alphonse Areola, but he doesn’t make the cut either. A less than stellar season in South Wales has left me unimpressed, but that’s not to say he won’t make future squads.

175 3 27 2 areola

Monaco’s Theo Hernández is growing frustrated with his lack of international opportunities, so much so that he actually accepted a call up for Spain not long ago and earned a friendly cap. Even though he can play anywhere up the left, I see Theo as a full back and at the minute I have 2 fantastic left backs in Mendy and Digne. They’re both hovering around that magic “30” mark though, so I may well try and convince Theo to switch allegiances in the future.

175 3 27 3 theo

Anthony Martial’s had a fine season for PSG, he honestly has, but I’ve been disappointed in his performances for my French team, so he’s left behind. At 27 though he’s got plenty of time to change my mind and add to his 71 caps.

175 3 27 4 martial

Nabil Fekir should definitely move away from Real Madrid. I’m sure Rodolfo Borrell won’t thank me for that, but come on. A striker of his quality starting 10 times in the entire season and scoring 4 goals? Move, play more, score more and you’re back in, Nabil.

175 3 27 5 fekir

Moussa Dembélé is in a similar position, but for different reasons. He’s actually had a very good season for Real Sociedad, scoring 22 goals in 39 games, but I’d like to see him either move to a bigger club and keep that record going or at least add some assists to his game. This might be nitpicking but this is France! We want to play bloody nice football here and we need strikers who’ve got a bit of everything. There’s something about Moussa that just unsettles me a bit, like the only string to his bow is bullying the lesser La Liga defences. Porto are monitoring him, so maybe that move’s close.

175 3 27 6 dembele

So those are the big ones to be left out. We also have some new names though that I’m pretty fucking excited about, such as Stoke City’s Alban Lafont! I know, he’s been here before but after having been omitted from my squads for a while he’s fought himself back into the France-After-Lloris conversation.

175 3 27 7 lafont

“Finally!” Comes the cry from the French media. I can’t ignore Dayot Upamecano any longer. There’s few defenders on my radar that have proven sustained quality at the highest level whilst also having another decade left in them. Dayot’s most likely going to be a staple for France in the future and I’m delighted that he’s finally in the squad.

175 3 27 8 upamecano

Florian Thauvin’s in the squad too. I don’t really know what to say about this one, I messed up. I was shown a video of a good performance he put in for Marseille and thought I’d give him a look, before realising that that was the only game he’s played this season. Whoops.

175 3 27 9 that guy

175 3 28 announced

Hilariously though, the press aren’t too bothered by the obvious fuck up I’ve made and are far too concerned with the debate over whether Raphaël Varane should still be making my squads. He’s “beginning to show signs of age” apparently. Their words. 30 year old Varane has started 53 matches for Real Madrid this season, racking up 14 Player of the Match awards and averaging over 5 tackles per game. Behave yourselves for fuck’s sake, he’s our best defender by a country mile.

175 3 29 varane merit

175 3 30 varane

However, there is a certain amount of intrigue in what the media’s saying. Not the part about Varane obviously but the part about who should replace him: 21 year old versatile defender Yannick Clauss is indeed looking good at Arsenal. He’s definitely on the radar.

175 3 31 yannick

We will be without Varane’s usual defensive partner Aymeric Laporte as he’s still carrying an injury, but another slightly worrying headline is the one championing Alexandre Lacazette to get a place ahead of Hervin Ongenda. Hervin’s scored 12 goals in 28 appearances for Standard this year, which is modest I’ll grant you, but is a lot more appealing than Lacazette’s 3 in 10 for Monaco.

Screen Shot 2018-07-18 at 20.10.09Screen Shot 2018-07-18 at 20.10.28

So this is our squad. My first bout of International knockout football has arrived as well as the first opportunity for France to win some silverware under my stewardship. Let’s share a little bit of our Renaissance with the Italians, shall we?

175 3 41 build up italy

Squad in full

Goalkeepers

Loïc Badiashile, Lionel Gauthier, Alban Lafont

Defenders

Djibril Sidibé, Sébastien Corchia, Raphaël Varane, Samuel Umtiti, Dayot Upamecano, Lucas, Lucas Digne, Benjamin Mendy

Midfielders

Adrien Rabiot, Corentin Tolisso, Tiémoué Bakayoko, Francis Coquelin, Kingsley Coman, Thomas Lemar, Paul Pogba, Kylien Mbappé, Florian Thauvin

Strikers

Antoine Griezmann, Neal Maupay, Hervin Ongenda

Mini-sode 175.5.5.5 >

Franco’s Big Week (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Mini-sode 175.5)

By Don Collins

As of half 8 on Monday, I’ve had 100,465 reads on my wordpress. That’s fucking mindblowing, thanks for reading everyone

Start from the start with episode 1

< Episode 175

dc4.png

WT Franco has put an end to speculation that he might leave Auxerre following a dramatic escape from relegation by signing a new 3 year deal with l’AJA.

175.5.5 3 10 signs

Franco has been linked in recent weeks with moves to Boca Juniors in Argentina, Spartak Moscow in Russia, Standard Liège in Belgium, Borussia Mönchengladbach in Germany and perhaps most strongly with Besiktas in Turkey, but with each club opting for other more experienced managers, Franco’s committed himself to the Burgundy club along with his new assistant for club and country David Bechkoura.

175.5.5 3 6 bechkoura accepts

Franco’s earned himself a reputation as something of a Journeyman during his 7 year managerial career following stints with FC Höllviken, SC Angrense, GKS Katowice, Santos FC and the Liechtenstein National Team, none of which have lasted more than 2 years, but with this new deal Franco will now surpass that mark with Auxerre. Whether he intends to fulfil the entire 3 year duration of his new deal however remains to be seen.

With their immediate futures sorted, Franco and Bechkoura will now turn their attention to France’s European International League Semi-Final against Italy at the Stade de France on the 9th of June.

Les Bleus’ head coach intends to announce his 23 man squad this coming Thursday.

175 3 42 favourites.png

Mini-sode 175.5.5 >

In Search Of Silverware (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep175)

I know what I need to do.

Start from the start with episode 1

< Mini-sode 174.5

Auxerre Chairman Dennis Sundberg’s a smart man, you’ve got to give him that. He knows I’m eyeing up a move and I know he wants to convince me to stay. Only an hour or so after the final match of the season he’s dipped his hands into his deep Scandinavian pockets and put £5M of his own money into Auxerre.

175 3 1 cash injection

This certainly doesn’t convince me to stay, but it does allow me to make Auxerre’s first signing of the Summer. It’ll be the only one I make before I know where my future lies as I don’t want to spend the next manager’s kitty, but whoever has the reigns at the start of the 2023/24 season, I’m sure they’ll thank me for finally making Mamadou Doucouré’s stay a permanent one. I offer the centre back a generous contract and he bites my hand off. Welcome aboard for the 3rd and final time, Mamadou. Let’s try and keep those ankles unbroken, shall we?

175 3 21 doucoure signs

Opportunist that I am, while I’m in talks with Mamadou and his agent I give his current club, Borussia Mönchengladbach, a call regarding their current managerial vacancy. Why not?

175 3 6 bmg

175 3 6 bmg 2

Our commercial roundup for the year makes for nice reading: Firstly because of the massive amount of money we’ve made through sponsorship and broadcasting compared to last year and secondly because of the stats on who’s sold the most shirts. Probably unsurprisingly, global superstar Arturo Vidal tops the list, with last season’s top scorer Hicham Aidir close behind, although presumably most of those were bought early on. McCarthy’s a perplexing 3rd, while Foden and Zoun round out the top 5.

175.5.5.5 1 7 shirts

So let me try and explain my thinking a bit here in terms of next season: What I’d really like at this point, having spent a year in a top European league, is to maybe drop down in terms of the division I’m managing in, but take over one of the really big hitters in that league. I realise that’s not very clear, but luckily a perfect example presents itself just 2 days later: The Boca Juniors job. Boca Juniors are a huge club and if we’re being perfectly honest, they’re probably too big a club for me just at the minute. Is the Argentine Primera Division as big a league as Ligue 1? Probably not, but in terms of the club I’d be managing it’d still be a big step up. I’d love to challenge for silverware this season at a club like Boca so I send in my CV just in case. I do however turn down Stade Brestois’ offer of an interview, because… Just obviously.

175 3 7 boca

175 3 7 boca 2

Back at Auxerre, defenders Isaac Sohna and Billy are rewarded for their good form with lucrative new contracts, while Sylvain Laurent turns professional.

But just to ruin the good feeling around the place, Zoun comes knock-knock-knocking on my office door telling me he wants to move to Toulouse to play Champions League football. Now if I’m being honest, I’ve never been fully convinced by Zoun. He had a great second half of our title winning season in Ligue 2 and he’s popped up here and there this season, but honestly I’m of the opinion that he’s yet to step up to where we currently are, never mind stepping up further to the bloody Champions League. I sit down with him and let him know that Auxerre are in a good position and that the club can grow into a challenger for European football. Zoun says he’ll give us a year to get into the Europa League and stomps out while me and Bechkoura exchange smirks. You may as well go now, mate.

175 3 12 zoun unh

175 3 14 zoun

As May draws to a close I apply for a few more jobs that fit my preference: Standard Liège are an interesting proposition in the Belgian Pro League A…

175 3 20 standard175 3 20 standard 2

… As are Spartak Moscow in the Russian Football National League…

175 3 35 spartak

175 3 35 spartak 2

… And Besiktas in the Turkish Super League.

175 3 36 besiktas

175 3 36 besiktas 2

All 3 would be more than capable of quenching my thirst for silverware. I also head over to Mönchengladbach for an interview. The Bundesliga outfit is obviously the outlier out of these possibilities as silverware would be extremely difficult to come by, but I can’t pass up an opportunity to interview for such a great club in such a great league.

175 3 18 bmg int.png

Interviews with the other 3 swiftly follow and talk starts to circulate as I’m heavily linked with Besiktas in particular.

Unfortunately in the days leading up to the European International League Semi Final and with my contract only weeks away from expiry, the rejections start to filter through.

Are there other jobs available? Yes.

Do I think that any of them represent good career moves? Nah.

I know what I need to do. I scroll through my phonebook and make the call.

“Sylvania? Meet me at Stade l’Abbé-Deschamps in half an hour. I’m going to need an agent.”

175.5.5 2 16 new deal on the way.png

Mini-sode 175.5

The Second Annual Franjo Award For Unappreciated Excellence (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Mini-sode 174.5)

Welcome to the SAFAFUE.

Start from the start with episode 1

< Episode 174

Welcome back gentlemen,

Yes, the word “Annual” in The First Annual Franjo Award For Unappreciated Excellence wasn’t just in there to make the acronym more fun to say. We’re back for The Second Annual Franjo Award For Unappreciated Excellence, or… The SAFAFUE

Looking back with the benefit of hindsight, the FAFAFUE was a bit of a hypocritical award to give out last year, wasn’t it? I mean, I think my heart was in the right place, but what’s “Unappreciated” about a title winning side? All of those players were obviously top performers in the league, which is why we won the bloody thing! We were spoilt for choice in the amount of excellence available to us.

But anyway, Phil Foden eventually won the award and we marched into Ligue 1 full of hope and optimism, before being swatted back down to Earth like a fly. It’s been a gruelling season, in the end probably not on the level of Katowice but at least somewhere in that area. But apart from a couple of notable exceptions, we got through it together. It’s in seasons like this that we see true unappreciated excellence.

One small caveat I’ll make this year is to change the award’s criteria to consistently overlooked by the mainstream media despite the outstanding contributions that each of them have made throughout the player’s entire season at Auxerre. If a player has only been at the club for a month, or 6 months, or 9 months but they’ve performed excellently, they’re eligible.

So with that sorted, it gives me great pleasure to announce the SAFAFUE shortlist for 2022/23:

Baptiste “Captiste” Aloé – No 2 – Centre Back

Oh Captain, my Captain. Again. Captiste is one of only two players from last year’s shortlist to reappear on this one. The thing about Captiste is that he’s just so fucking unshakeable. He’s been the rock at the heart of a defence that’s leaked just 6 fewer goals than the league’s top 3 teams combined, but through it all he’s adjusted, whether it be alongside Doucouré, Kakuba, Sohna, Goujon, sitting in front of the defence or sweeping behind. And what’s more, he’s once again kept unity behind the scenes by performing his captain’s duties admirably. Albeit using questionable techniques.

Screen Shot 2018-07-13 at 19.58.35.png

Isaac Sohna – No 19 – Centre Back

Isaac Sohna spent the first half of the season playing sparingly and poorly for Karabükspor, before an injury crisis at centre back prompted me to bring him back. He performed admirably after making the leap to Ligue 1 football, having only made 1 previous appearance for Auxerre in Ligue 2 and he instantly struck up a fairly solid partnership with Captiste that kept us from completely collapsing towards the end of the season. What’s more, when we lost goalkeeper Xavier Lenogue to injury while 1-0 up against AS Nancy Lorraine in something of a must-win game, Isaac stepped up, put on the gloves and went in net for over an hour. Did he concede 2 minutes later from Nancy’s only subsequent shot on target? Sure, but we won the match so who gives a shit. Judge this man not on his shots saved percentage, but on the pure cojones he displayed that day and over the last 5ish months.

Screen Shot 2018-07-13 at 19.58.52

Arturo Vidal – No 35 – Defensive Midfielder

It took me 4 entire months to find Arturo and a further 2 to work out how to get the best out of him, but in the end I’d say he’s been more than worth destroying our wage budget for. Like Captiste, our veteran Chilean ringer has helped keep the squad together and organised with his experience and undeniably infectious work rate and determination. He’s always put in a shift and despite the fact that he’d be beaten handily in a footrace by a whale that was beached about 2 weeks back, I’ll be sad to see him hang up his boots.

Screen Shot 2018-07-13 at 19.59.02

Abdoulaye Sissako – No 16 – Ball Winning Midfielder

Abdoulaye, as I’ve said many times before, is my kind of player. Out of everyone in the squad I’d say that he’s had one of the smoothest transitions to top flight football. His job hasn’t really changed since our Ligue 2 games and still entails running for 90 minutes solid every week, winning the ball and keeping things simple. It makes me very proud on behalf of Auxerre to see one of our own have such a great season under such testing circumstances.

Screen Shot 2018-07-13 at 19.59.14

Phil Foden – No 8 – Right Sided Inside Forward

The winner of last year’s award. Phil’s contribution to our survival is probably unequalled. He may not have been quite as prolific as he was in Ligue 2, but his 6 goals and 6 assists have almost all changed games. Without Phil’s goals alone we’d be 9 points worse off, which would have put us 5 points clear at the bottom of the table. He also got us off to a flyer with the only goal in our 1-0 win over Lorient and sealed our promotion with our 4th against Stade Rennais. With such an impact, could Phil become a… Cereal winner?

Screen Shot 2018-07-13 at 19.59.27

Other – Please Specify

Screen Shot 2018-07-13 at 19.54.56Screen Shot 2018-07-13 at 19.55.12

These are the contenders.

As last year and as it will be every year… As long as people vote I suppose… The winner is up to you. Please send your 1st, 2nd and 3rd place winners to franjofm23@gmail.com (Or as a comment wherever you read this) before the Year 7 Review on Tuesday 31st July, where the winner will be presented with this, truly the most coveted of prizes: The SAFAFUE.

Episode 175 >

Adieu? (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep174)

Maybe this is my farewell too.

Start from the start with episode 1

< Episode 173

A great big bloody weight was lifted from Auxerre when the final whistle went against Stade Rennais. What’s pleased me probably just as much as our mathematical safety though is just how good our football’s been since our switch to Project: Meatloaf and in particular how it’s brought out the best in Brahim Ferhat, who scored a brace last game. He’s joined in the Ligue 1 Team of the Week by fellow goalscorers Billy and Phil Foden and deservedly so. Heroes.

175 1 1 totw

In the days before our final league game of the season, Dennis Sundberg offers me the opportunity to discuss a contract extension with l’AJA. It does bother me slightly that he’s waited until we’re safe in Ligue 1 before offering me a new deal as I feel that I’ve done enough during my time here to have earned contract talks regardless of whether we survived, but that’s not why I turn him down. As was the case after my 2nd season with Santos, I’m genuinely not sure whether I want a 3rd. I’d have kicked myself back then if I’d signed on and then seen the Auxerre job become available and the same thing could happen again. I’m going to wait until the Summer, then I’ll decide either way.

175 1 2 renewal talks.png

Let’s bring things to a close then the same way we started our Ligue 1 battle: By taking on FC Lorient, this time in front of our own fans.

175 1 5 preview

I’m making just 2 changes from the side that beat Rennais. There’s nothing I’d love more than a win to put the cherry on top of a successful season, but there’s 2 players in particular I want on that pitch. I really feel for Joël, who it seems may have finally hit his ceiling, but I’m bringing him in for McCarthy in the hopes that he’ll finally score a Ligue 1 goal. The other man to come in is Arturo Vidal, who’ll finish his remarkable career at the Stade l’Abbé-Deschamps today at the expense of Raf. Another nice touch I’m able to make is the reintroduction of Nathan Andre, who’s just back in full training following recovery from his broken ankle. Nathan makes the bench while Bingourou Kamara makes a farewell appearance in net. Maybe this is my farewell too.

175 1 3 andre back

175 1 6 formations

I mentioned Neal Maupay when I took him for his France debut against Bosnia. He’s the striker that Lorient managed to sign just after the first game of the season and I’m ever so thankful for it. After 20 minutes he nods in from a João Pedro cross to show us what we missed that day. What a signing he’s been.

15 minutes later Phil Foden nearly gets us back on level terms, cutting in and smashing a shot towards the top corner, but Lindau makes the save and manages to hold on. An Alioski 35 yard pot shot is also held comfortably by Kamara just before the break.

For the last half hour I bring on Bassani and McCarthy for Foden and Sissako in the hopes that they’ll make an impact, but 8 minutes later we’re 0-2 down, with Maupay turning provider for a Vesovic header into the bottom corner.

As we enter the last 10 minutes we look disappointingly like we’re already on the beach and Lorient are still putting us under some serious pressure. Celsiney’s rushed clearance cannons straight back off Captiste and bounces through to Vesovic, who tries to double his tally but can only hit the ball against the post.

A few minutes from the end, I give Vidal a send off. He applauds the fans as he ambles off the pitch and receives a hearty round of applause back from both sets of supporters. Somewhat understandably though, the far louder cheer is reserved for Nathan Andre, who replaces him in a 4-2-4.

In the last knockings of the game Andre looks bright too, dribbling deep into Lorient’s half with the ball and eventually getting dispossessed by a brilliant Jean Paulo slide tackle. The ball rolls as far as Brahim Ferhat, who blasts in his 4th goal in 5 games.

We go surprisingly close to levelling the scores when Bassani heads just wide deep into injury time, but that turns out to be the last kick… Or last header of the 2022/23 season. All things considered, it’s probably a good job we wrapped up safety when we did.

175 1 7 post

We make our way around the pitch after the final whistle, applauding the fans. Me, Bechkoura, the staff and the players. Hicham Aidir hobbles along near the back of the line on his crutches, looking like a big Moroccan Tiny Tim. We didn’t get a goal from Joël or a win to put the cherry on top of our season, but Auxerre, if this is adieu, it’s been a hell of a ride.

175 2 1 monaco double

175 2 2 season over

Screen Shot 2018-07-13 at 21.32.42

Mini-sode 174.5 >

Safety Awaits (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep173)

Deep breaths. Here we go.

🦁🦁🦁

Sidenote: Prouder than I’ve ever been of England. I’ll be back Friday and Saturday for the last 2 episodes of the Season

Start from the start with episode 1

< Episode 172

It’s been more or less 2 years since I first came to France in search of a new challenge, a bigger club and the next rung on the managerial ladder. Back then, Auxerre were battling against relegation and financial difficulties. We were hovering uncomfortably above the relegation spots and I had 3 matches to steer us clear. It’s good to see how far we’ve come from those days.

I’m just kidding, obviously we’re a whole league above where we were 2 years ago and that makes all the difference, especially when another season in Ligue 1 might seriously help us to climb back onto stable ground financially and make the club more sustainable for the top flight. It does make you think though. It’s the same principles and the same requirements to successfully remain in any division – Get more points on the board than your rivals. We travel to Lille today, who are 19th: 2 places and 6 whole points behind us. If we win our match and Nancy-Lorraine fail to beat Lyon, we’ll be mathematically safe from automatic relegation.

173 1 6 preview.png

Back when I first joined Auxerre of course, I wasn’t carrying the baggage of our tough season and could simply use my fresh pair of eyes to pick a solid looking team and keep things simple to grind out results. In a way we’ll be doing the same thing against Lille in this match. I’m sticking with Project: Meatloaf, as since it’s return we’ve picked up 4 points from 2 games, which I’m certain would’ve become 6 if Faouzi Hikem hadn’t got himself sent off like an imbecile. Incidentally I’ve fined him 2 weeks wages and told him that even though his suspension will end before the last game, he can get himself off on his holidays now as he won’t play a part. If there’s one thing I don’t need now it’s a liability.

173 1 1 hikem banned173 1 3 hikem accepts warning

While Xavier Lenogue’s back to full fitness, I’m keeping Bingourou Kamara in goal for his 51st Auxerre appearance. Despite the fact that he’s failed to keep a clean sheet in the last 2 games, he’s hardly been to blame for either goal we’ve conceded and I see no reason to drop him. Long term I still don’t see a future here for him though so I won’t be offering Bingourou a new contract.

173 1 2 kamara 50 apps.png

2 players that are coming into the starting lineup though are Billy, an obvious selection in place of Hikem, and McCarthy, who’s back from International duty and takes the place of Joël Soumahoro. Come on, lads. Safety awaits.

173 1 7 formations.png

The first half yields a few decent chances, with Herrera and Foden both putting the ball just wide for their respective clubs before the former stings Kamara’s hands with a powerful drive from the edge of our box. With half time just 2 minutes away though, we’re hit by a hammer blow. Slimani receives the ball on the right and dribbles to the byline before whipping a cross in and Djuric is there in the 6 yard box to head the ball into the net.

After calmly sharing some of my views on the marking that lead to the goal, we head back out for the second half and nearly tie the scores back up within 10 seconds, when Ferhat gets behind the Lille defence and shoots, but centre back Sparagna dives in with a last ditch tackle to knock the ball out for a corner.

Fomba and Ayé both get run outs for the last half hour as we attempt to get physical with the home defence, but it’s the hosts that nearly get the 2nd goal 5 minutes from the end when Abi dribbles forwards and shoots from a narrow angle, forcing a near post save from Kamara. In a dominant performance we’ve been undone by a single defensive lapse.

173 1 8 post

Just like that, our cushion’s gone. Another loss could send us plummeting back into the relegation places and I’m fuming. It’s not that we were particularly bad in that match, it’s just that we couldn’t finish our chances and yet again we couldn’t keep a clean sheet.

173 2 1 franjo fury

174 1 4 pre match.png

“We need to keep our heads.”  I mutter, while quite literally banging my own head against my office desk. I’ll get the irony later. Captiste sits across from me, staring out of the window in a daydreamy kind of way. Just then my office door swings open and in steps Arturo Vidal, who takes a seat next to our Captain, followed by Hicham Aidir, who limps in on his crutches. “Here they are.” I grin. “Glad you could make it, lads.” I stand and walk around the desk to pull the third chair out for Hicham, before retaking my seat. “The three of you need to pull the rest of the lads through this. You’re my leaders in that changing room. My admirals…”

Captiste jumps to his feet. “You can count on us, boss,” He says, “What do you need us to do?”

“Good lad, skipper.” I smile. “First things first, Faouzi Hikem’s sulking and saying he wants to move. Shut. That. Down. Get him supporting the rest of the lads, even if you have to get him to just keep his mouth shut for the next 2 weeks. Can you do that?”

174 1 2 hikem unh

The big centre back gives me a knowing smile. “Oh, I can do that.” He says, cryptically. As he starts walking towards the door, he draws some sort of metallic cylinder from his belt.

“Oi, what is that?” I call after him. “Captiste, is that a fucking lightsaber?” He turns, smiles and shushes me with his free hand, while continuing to edge backwards towards the door. “Don’t you shush me! I will strike you the fuck down, sunshine.” He continues to shush me right until he disappears into the corridor and around the corner.

“Well that’s going to be a disaster.” I sigh. “Hicham, first I need you to follow Captiste and make sure that he doesn’t murder Faouzi Hikem in cold blood.” The Moroccan striker nods stoically. “Then get yourself in training every session until the end of the season, OK? I don’t need you to train I just want you giving… I don’t know, moral support. Get Nathan in too.”

Hicham smiles. “No problem, Boss.”

“Good lad.” I smile back as he hauls himself up on his crutches and hobbles off.

174 1 3 hikem happy

I turn to Vidal. “Arturo, you’ve got more experience at the top level than all the rest of us put together. I need you sharing that experience. I need you to be on constant lookout and if you see anybody’s head drop even an inch, I need you to pick it back up and drag them through the Stade Rennais match. I need you to rally the troops.”

“No problem.” Says Vidal solemnly.

174 1 1 vidal rallies.png

There’s no more preparation to do. Now it’s all in the players’ hands.

You know what, for once in my career I’d like for us to actually win this and secure safety with time to spare so that everything isn’t hinging on the bloody final game. If we do manage to take 3 points here and Dijon and Lille fail to beat Marseille and Lorient, we could do exactly that. Alternatively, we could drop as far as 19th. 11th placed Stade Rennais are in the building so we’ll soon know one way or the other.

174 1 5 preview.png

In all honesty I could do without further suspensions at this point, but French league rules being what they are, they’re pretty unavoidable. Issa Samba and Loïc Goujon will be big losses, but I’m putting my faith in Raf as a holding man and 16 year old Celsiney at right back. We’re sticking to Meatloaf with the added instruction that I want us to focus our play down the left. Aleix Vidal likes to push on and leave room on the right hand side of Rennais’ defence, so we should be able to exploit that. I’m also not yet sure about Celsiney’s ability to handle himself in such a pressured environment so focussing our play down the opposite flank should take some responsibility away from him. Deep breaths. Here we go.

174 1 6 formations.png

8 minutes in I get all the good news from Bechkoura: Lorient and Marseille have opened the scoring early against our relegation rivals Lille and Dijon. My assistant gives me a smug smile. Now our Ligue 1 safety is in our hands.

2 minutes later though my heart races when Tulissi shakes off Billy on the right wing and cuts inside before testing Kamara’s handling with a long range effort, but our keeper holds onto the shot. In the 18th minute the ball’s down the other end and as instructed we’re going down the left wing. Billy receives the ball and floats a cross into the box but Jovanovic clears the danger. McCarthy chases the clearance though and volleys it right back into the mixer where Phil Foden’s waiting. Foden takes it down, turns, shoots – But the ball deflects off Gnagnon’s foot and floats harmlessly towards Diallo in net… Fortuitously, Brahim Ferhat reacts quicker than Rennais’ shot stopper and gets to the loose ball, before volleying it in from close range.

Pure relief washes over me as Bechkoura claps me on the back. I can’t even bring myself to celebrate the goal. Less than 20 minutes into the match, everything is going absolutely perfectly.

Less than 2 minutes after the goal, Prcic plays a long raking ball over the top of our defence and Dongou manages to get goal-side of Doucouré. The forward pulls the ball down and strikes it at goal on the half-volley, but Kamara comes out of his net to parry the ball away. He only knocks it as far as Dovedan though and with Kamara off his line he’s got an empty net in front of him. The hairs on my arms and the back of my net stand on end in unison. Dovedan shoots – But out of nowhere, our 16 year old Brazilian Celsiney throws his body in the way of the shot, deflecting it out for a corner. Kamara helps the lad back to his feet and gives him a grateful pat on the back. On top of that, Bechkoura lets me know as the ball goes out that Lorient are 2-0 up against Lille.

Unfortunately our situation deteriorates 2 minutes later when Tulissi cuts in from the right wing once more and squares for Dovedan, who makes no mistake this time, blasting the ball past Kamara to equalise. On top of that… Again… Bechkoura says that Lille have pulled one back. The first 20 minutes has been eventful to say the least, but after the initial flurry of goals across 3 stadia, things seem to quieten down a bit. At half time we’re only drawing 1-1 with Stade Rennais, but thankfully Marseille are beating Dijon 1-0 and Lorient are still 2-1 up against Lille.

The second half promises to start just as frantically as the first when we win a corner within the first minute. McCarthy goes across to take it and swings the ball into the box, but Jovanovic is there again to head it clear. This time he gets it as far as Captiste on the edge of the box, who cushions the ball down for Raf, who lays it off for Billy – Who takes a touch and calmly slots it right-footed into the far corner. Once again I can’t do much more than smile nervously, but Billy celebrates enough for both of us. What a bloody time to score your first Auxerre goal.

10 minutes later, the pest Dovedan escapes Abdoulaye Sissako and gets the ball to the left byline, where he pulls it back for Prcic. Pricic hits a flat cross over to the far post and up pops Aleix Vidal to volley it in from close range. For fucks sake. I glance over to Bechkoura to see if there’s a “On top of that…” to this sentence but he shakes his head and gives me a thumbs up. The rivals are still losing.

Sissako’s had a quiet match and he looks a bit nervous, so I bring him off on the hour to be replaced by Fomba. Elsewhere, Serkan Yusein’s sent off for Dijon. Come on, all we need is one more goal. We nearly get it 5 minutes later: Rennais are caught overcommitted, Raf wins the ball and hoofs it upfield on the counter attack for Ferhat to chase. Ferhat collects the ball, drives infield and tries to curl a shot into the far top corner, but Diallo tips it behind with an acrobatic fingertip save.

With 20 minutes to go we win another corner and again it’s a good ball from McCarthy, this time aimed towards Lamine Fomba at the near post. Fomba leaps, flicks the ball on and it falls right at the feet of Brahim Ferhat – Who toe pokes it into the net from a yard out. I still can’t celebrate. I still won’t allow myself to. They’ve pegged us back twice already. I bring Alessandro Bassani on for Zoun to give us some fresh legs on the left wing that we’re favouring.

With around 10 minutes to go, Yannick Carrasco makes it 2-0 to Marseille. As it stands we’re mathematically safe and it doesn’t look like either Lille or Dijon are pulling their games back, so all we need to do is hold on. And then the ball’s clipped into the box for Dovedan. My heart starts to sink in that oh so familiar way… But he takes a heavy touch and the ball escapes him. Doucouré steps in and hoofs it clear and our Stopfordian playmaker Phil Foden latches onto it on the halfway line. “Come on, Phil,” I whisper. “Run with it.” He does. He beats the one outfield player Rennais haven’t committed into our half and keeps on running. He’s through. He’s bloody through on goal! He sprints forwards and has just the keeper to beat. Surely another goal would put the result and another year in Ligue 1 beyond doubt. Come on, Phil. Come on, you brilliant little bastard…

Stade Abbé-Deschamps erupts as the back of the net bulges. Phil Foden, scorer of the goal that’ll surely secure us in the top flight for another year, sprints over to the sideline where the fans are starting to spill out onto the pitch. He thumps the badge on his chest as he’s mobbed by his team mates and the stewards struggle to hold back the jubilant Auxerrois supporters. Now I’ll fucking celebrate. I’m already sprinting towards the melee, Bechkoura hot on my heels with the Auxerre subs and coaches, each of us laughing or screaming or cheering with relief.

Have that Ruben Aguilar! Have that, Adama Ba! Have that, Crouch! Have that, Zhou and Sundberg! Put that in your financially irresponsible pipes and smoke it, you dickheads! Auxerre have done it on a shoestring!

Auxerre are staying the fuck up!

174 1 7 post

Screen Shot 2018-07-10 at 17.58.10.png

174 2 1 league

Episode 174 >

Crucial (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep172)

If we pick up 15 more points we’re there.

Start from the start with episode 1

< Episode 171

“So run me through it one more time, Bechkoura… In what possible way are we almost safe?” I ask, eyebrow raised. He lets out a frustrated sigh.

“How are you not getting it?” He asks indignantly. “45 points will be enough to secure safety regardless of what the other teams do! If we pick up 15 more points we’re there!”

“No I understand where you’re coming from and technically you’re right, it’s just that we’ve only got 5 games left to get those 15 points and if we were able to win every single match we played just by deciding that we would, we wouldn’t be in this situation, would we?”

I can pinpoint the moment the penny drops by watching Bechkoura’s expression change. He takes a moment to mull over what I’ve said, before replying “But I am technically right.”

172 1 6 only need 5 wins from 5....png

One man that seems to have decided to claw us up the table almost by himself is Captiste, who’s scored in each of his last 2 matches. He gets a spot in Team of the Week for the 2nd week running. Good lad, Captiste.

172 1 3 totw.png

The big news around Auxerre though, apart from the fact that we’ve actually managed to scrape a win, is that Xavier Lenogue’s going to miss a 2-3 week chunk of our run-in with a broken shoulder. Some incredibly funny Auxerre fans start an online petition for Isaac Sohna to get a run in net, but I think I’ll finally give Bingourou Kamara a proper try instead.

172 1 1 lenogue inj.png

Our next match is an away tie against Toulouse, who’ve really nailed themselves on as the “Best of the rest” in Ligue 1 this season. We’re going to miss Phil Foden (Blisters) and Celsiney (Sprained wrist) so Samba and Ayé come into a counter attacking Project: Meatloaf with defensive wingbacks to keep us safe against our opponents’ own inevitable barrage of counter attacks. I thought that a return to a more familiar system might’ve brought out the best in Joël last match, but it wasn’t to be so McCarthy comes into the lineup in his place. The poor lad just doesn’t look cut out for Ligue 1.

172 1 8 preview

172 1 9 formations

We nearly get off to an absolute flier when Ferhat cuts in and hits a looping shot against the inside of the far post. The rebound almost falls to Ayé too but he’s beaten to the ball by recent French National Team debutant Francis Obin, who scrambles it clear.

10 minutes before half time the ball does end up in the net, but at the wrong end. Candreva swings a great free kick in from deep on the left wing and it’s flicked on by Jullien, but thankfully the linesman’s flag goes up against Braithwaite before he smashes the ball past Kamara.

On the hour with the scores still even, I bring on Phil Foden for Ayé and get Brahim Ferhat back up front where he excelled in his last game. I also give the fullbacks license to push on as we search for a winning goal. I should know better though as within 2 minutes Chong leaves Issa Samba for dead and speeds down to the left byline. He whips a cross in for Assimaïdou, who heads in the opening goal from close range.

10 minutes later we put together an outstanding move comprised of scintillating 2 touch football moving us in-field from the left. McCarthy to Zoun… To Ferhat… Sissako… To Foden 10 yards out. He shoots – But is denied by a fantastic save from Gomis. That deserved a goal.

With just 10 minutes left to play though, Zoun presses Obin into a mistake and nicks the ball from the Chelsea loanee, before skipping past his partner Jullien. The Burkinabe inside forward runs through on goal, draws the keeper out and slots the ball into the corner. Get in. 1-1.

Joël comes on in a last roll of the dice replacing McCarthy and for the last 10 minutes of the match Toulouse hold on for dear life. Ferhat splits the defence with a pass through to Zoun, who runs in on goal again but this time slides the ball just wide of the far post. Then Joël releases Ferhat himself in behind the defence. He gets forced slightly out to the right but still manages to lash a powerful shot against the crossbar.

In the 91st minute though, Faouzi Hikem plays a clever one-two with Zoun to leave N’Doram in his dust on the left. The Algerian gets to the byline, fires a desperate cross in and Ferhat executes a controlled flick of the head at the near post to send the ball past Gomis’ outstretched hand and into the net.

With a massive grin, I bring on Arturo Vidal and let Ferhat slowly walk from the pitch, allowing the clock to run down as he exchanges applause with the travelling Auxerrois fans. What a bloody response to going 0-1 down this has been and what a win.

172 1 10 post

172 2 8 pre match

Kamara’s done alright there too today and realistically could’ve done nothing to prevent the goal, which was more a result of my tactical tinkering than anything else. Thankfully that same tinkering paid off in the end but anyway. With our back up goalie’s contract running out in June, this is his big moment in the shop window to get himself a move to a club where he can play regularly. Red Star boss Dominique Arribagé was in the stands today and he’ll have been impressed.

172 2 1 arribage spotted.png

Our next 2 matches are absolutely crucial – We play Dijon and Lille in back to back relegation battles. If we can take 6 points away from these games then we’re surely safe. One player who won’t join us for the Dijon game is Fabien McCarthy though, who’s gone to take part in a poorly timed Under 23’s match for South Africa against Zimbabwe. He scores a goal and sets up another which is good, but I’d rather have everyone available to be honest.

172 2 7 mccarthy duty.png

An interview that our ex-inside forward Adama Ba gives with the local media raises a few eyebrows before the Bourguignon derby. It’s odd that a player that would actively sabotage his own career and those of his colleagues before coming back to get all glassy-eyed over our derby match. Keep it to yourself thanks, Adama.

As the home side against Dijon we’re going back to our classic attacking Project: Meatloaf in the hopes of finding our 3rd successive win. Florian Ayé drops back out and Ferhat deservedly moves back up front, while the fit again Phil Foden comes back in on the right. Joël also comes back into the starting XI with McCarthy unavailable.

172 2 9 preview

172 2 10 formations

The first hour of the match is a low quality, ill tempered affair. Neither side have more than a couple of half-chances each and with 25 minutes of the match to play I make a double substitution, bringing off Brahim Ferhat and Joël to be replaced by Florian Ayé and Mathis Roux. With 20 minutes left the ball comes to the substitute Roux and he chips a delightful ball to Zoun on the edge of the 6 yard box. Zoun brings the ball down, takes a breath and places the ball into the corner of the net. Get in. Not all of the matches have to be pretty or dramatic, as long as we keep hitting the back of the net I’ll be happy.

5 minutes later, Lamine Fomba replaces the tired Loïc Goujon, but it’s tired legs elsewhere on the pitch that cost us. With 5 minutes to play Lemos skips past Faouzi Hikem on the right wing and Hikem leaves one on him with a stupid late challenge, earning a 2nd yellow and a red. We almost, almost see the game out but are undone in the 4th minute of injury time. Poetically it’s Lemos that bags the equaliser, latching onto Lees-Melou’s corner after Fomba initially heads it away and powering it into the far top corner of Kamara’s goal. Overall it’s been a terrible game, but the 3 points against a direct rival should’ve been ours. That should have been us separated from the bottom 3. I also have a sneaking suspicion that that’s the last we’ll see of Faouzi this season.

172 2 11 post.png

172 3 1 league.png

Episode 173 >

Death Or Glory (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep171)

This is absolutely must-win.

🦁🦁🦁

Start from the start with episode 1

< Episode 170

171 1 2 i could leave.png

7 matches left. That’s all. We have 7 matches in which to climb above Dijon and Lille and secure our future in Ligue 1 for another year. On paper it doesn’t look that difficult: True we’re not looking good, sitting in 19th without a win in 8 games, but both sides are just a single point above us. If we can just do enough to get that extra couple of points and make 17th place our own in 7 games time, I’ll be delighted. I also only have until the end of June on my contract with Auxerre and although I’m not sure where I’ll be next season, something tells me that if we don’t finish with our heads above water, I won’t have the option to renew it even if I want to. Hopefully we’ll finish this campaign better than we did our Coupe de la Ligue run, where we fell at the penultimate hurdle on penalties against Toulouse. They’ve just played the final against Monaco, who knocked out PSG in the other semi and in the end Vinícius Júnior proved too hot for Toulouse to handle, inspiring his side to a 3-1 win.

171 1 9 cdll final

171 1 10 cdll review

I’ve not been the only one that’s been busy over this international break by the way. Xavier Lenogue, Faouzi Hikem, Zoun, Raf, Billy, Fabien McCarthy and Isaac bloody Sohna all represented their countries this week, with Sohna making his International bow after an impressive first few months in Ligue 1 and McCarthy grabbing his first goal for South Africa. Those things can only help morale as we enter a crucial stage in the season.

We also have 2 massive boosts in the shape of Mamadou Doucouré and Lamine Fomba, who have both just rejoined full training. This comes with the slight asterisk that Xavier Lenogue’s picked up a gashed leg, although after consulting with the physios it looks like he’ll be able to play through it.

Even with the morale boost and a couple of key players coming back from injury though, turning round our horrible form is a tough ask. Our first match in April is a trip to Nice, a safe mid-table side who have certainly got the ability to pile more misery onto us. They play a 4-2-3-1 and are quite heavy favourites, so I’m going to give Project: “Sword” another try after it helped us secure a point against Pep’s Paris Saint-Germain a few games back. I’m bringing the goalscorer from that match Lamine Fomba straight back into the lineup to see if he can do the same again.

171 1 13 preview

171 1 14 formations

Inside 8 minutes, Godefroy receives the ball from a throw in on the right and squares it for Jean-Michael Séri on the edge of the box, so that the central midfield can smack the ball past Xavier Lenogue. Good start. The first half in general is pretty scrappy but Nice go close to a 2nd goal just before the break when Souquet’s cross is headed away by Samba as far as Pléa, who heads it at goal. Lenogue manages to tip the ball against the post and smother the rebound, but in injury time Séri finds space on the edge of the box once more and spanks the ball into the bottom corner to make it 0-2.

At half time I ditch Project: “Sword” and swap us back to Project: Burnie Mk V on the counter attack. Zoun comes on replacing Loïc Goujon and he and Ferhat will flank Phil Foden, who once again takes up the role of false 9. After 20 minutes of the second half though it becomes clear that we’re still not threatening nearly enough. I throw Florian Ayé on in place of Vidal and we go to an attacking 4-2-4. Within a few minutes I reap the rewards when Toral splits our defence with a through ball and Bosetti slips a 3rd goal under Lenogue. I’m at a complete loss. I can’t stop the rot. Nothing I try is working for Auxerre anymore.

Hoping for a miracle, I bring McCarthy on for the last 15 minutes and give Fomba a rest. The South African does set up a goal 5 minutes from time too, swinging a corner in that Captiste directs into the net to score his first Ligue 1 goal, but it’s too little too late. 1-3.

171 1 15 post.png

171 2 4 pre match.png

171 2 2 totw.png

That result, combined with Nancy-Lorraine’s win over Lille, puts us bottom of the table for the first time this season. We’ve also gone 9 matches without a win in all competitions (8 in the league), which is level with a club record. The supporters are calling for my head and who can blame them. This has gone a bit tits up really, hasn’t it. I spare a moment for Hull City and what might’ve been, with their relative safety in the greatest league in the World. Me and Crouchie could’ve surely turned them into a safe Prem team…

171 2 1 8 without win

171 2 3 new record imminent

But bollocks to Hull City and bollocks to Crouch. There’s still a chance for redemption. Today Auxerre welcome AS Nancy-Lorraine to the Stade l’Abbé-Deschamps in a classic 6 pointer at the wrong end of the table. If there’s a losing team today, you’ll quite safely be able to bet the farm on their relegation. Nancy are 19th with 27 points and a goal difference of -20. Auxerre are 20th with 27 points and a goal difference of -28. I know this term gets thrown around quite a lot these days, but this is absolutely must-win. Death or glory.

171 2 5 preview.png

There’s only one way I know how to set up for everything-or-nothing matches. It worked at Katowice, it’s worked before at Auxerre. Fuck Project: Sword and Project: Burnie Mk V. Issa Samba’s suspended but I’m going with as similar a lineup as I can to our successful Ligue 2 side from last year. Celsiney’s in, Doucouré’s in, Joël and Zoun are in. We’re going to attack. We’re going old school. We’re going Meatloaf.

171 2 6 formations.png

5 minutes into the match, a scintillating move ends with Zoun laying the ball off for Abdoulaye Sissako on the edge of Nancy’s penalty area. He smacks a shot towards the top corner and is denied by a top class save from Sayouba, who claws the ball away from goal. He can’t keep hold of it though and Phil Foden gets a shot in from a tight angle – He tucks it into the net. Leaping to my feet, I attempt to throw an arm around my assistant Bechkoura’s shoulders in celebration, but fuelled by the pure jubilation of actually taking the lead in a match, I end up getting him in more of an over-enthusiastic headlock. Come on boys. Hold on.

It feels like by deploying Project: Meatloaf, I’ve cut the chain that was restraining Auxerre. It all just feels so natural, the football’s brighter and quicker. The lads are smiling again. A few minutes after the goal, Brahim Ferhat receives the ball from Foden and skips away from his marker before shooting just wide from the edge of the box. After a quarter of an hour, Hikem whips the ball across the face of goal from the left and Foden nearly doubles his tally at the far post, but this time can only find the side netting. We’re excellent, we’re free-flowing and we’re looking almost certain to find a 2nd goal.

But then, as it often does, everything comes crashing down. Xavier Lenogue, who’s just recovered from his gashed leg, comes to collect a cross, collides with a Nancy attacker and goes down clutching his shoulder. I already know by the time he hits the floor that he won’t be able to play on. That’s how this second half of the season’s gone for Auxerre. The physios confirm my suspicion by removing Xavier from the pitch on a stretcher.

Those who’ve followed my career for some time will be aware that I’m of the opinion that a substitute goalkeeper is a waste of a place on the bench, as 99.99% of the time you’ll be better served by having an extra outfield player. That 0.01% really comes at the most inopportune times though, doesn’t it. The only other time I’ve been in this situation that I can remember was during a pre-season friendly with GKS Katowice, just before my move to South Africa. Danny Wilson went on to play in net if I remember correctly and did alright, so someone’s going to have to follow in his footsteps now in a far, far more pressured environment. We need someone who’s quite tall and agile, who won’t lose their head. I scan the pitch, then the bench, then the pitch again. I glance over towards the referee and see that he’s watching me with an eyebrow raised, tapping his watch impatiently.

“You’ll do fine,” I lie, strapping on our stand-in keeper’s gloves. “It’ll be a piece of cake, alright? Just do what Xavier would do, or Komo, or… Just don’t overthink it, OK?”

Isaac Sohna nods solemnly, looking completely unnatural in his long sleeved goalkeeper’s jersey and Lenogue’s gloves. Bingourou Kamara makes his way down to the front of the stand and leans over the railings just behind the bench. He calls Sohna over for a quick pep talk of his own before the referee gives a shrill blast of his whistle to signal that time’s up. The new Cameroonian international jogs over to take his place between the sticks.

171 3 1 sohna.png

My gut reaction to the change in personnel is to drop Auxerre back and defend resolutely to put more bodies in between Nancy’s players and Sohna. I’m almost certain that that’d be counter-intuitive though, as defending would only invite Nancy on and at the very least would lead to some pot-shots that could easily find their way past our keeper. Tentatively, I fight the urge and encourage the team to keep attacking. The more we attack their goal, the less they can attack ours. And at the very least we can try to out-score them.

Less than a minute after Sohna comes on, we do attack Nancy’s goal… But we’re caught on the counter attack. Petre pings a ball out onto the left wing for Djerlek to run onto and he drills a cross in for Vincent, who smashes in an equaliser on the turn. My stomach churns. I have to bite my lip to stop myself from giving the order to drop back and defend.

My faith is immediately rewarded. Straight from kick off, Sissako picks out Foden on the right wing with a lofted ball and Big Phil hits a cross straight into the box. Zoun tries to latch on but he’s shoved over clumsily by Sulek at the far post. Penalty! Captiste steps up confidently, places the ball firmly beyond the keeper’s reach into the bottom corner and puts Auxerre back in front.

A few minutes after that hectic exchange, we’ve calmed down a bit. Brahim Ferhat, whose link up play has been superb in the opening half hour, releases Celsiney on the right wing and then gets the ball back. He plays it straight on for Foden, who shoots and forces a good save from Sayouba. After a calm half time team talk we manage to pretty much kill the game off. Joël has a chance on the hour mark when he brings the ball down following a cleared corner and shoots straight at the Nancy keeper, but remarkably we don’t allow the visitors a single shot on target after their 27th minute goal.

When the final whistle blows, Isaac Sohna collapses on the floor, but for once it’s not because of injury. It’s the relief of coming through 65 minutes unscathed… Or at least just scathed enough for it to not matter. The rest of the Auxerre squad, bench included, run straight over to lift the young centre back over their shoulders as the home fans roar their approval. 4 months ago, he was turning out for Karabükspor in the Turkish Super League. Today, our stand-in Cameroonian International goalkeeper is a fearless Auxerre hero who’s helped us to end our winless run, rise from 20th to 17th place and finally back out of the Ligue 1 relegation spots. 2023’s proving to be a pretty eventful year all things considered, isn’t it.

171 2 7 post

171 3 2 league

Episode 172 >

Experimentation (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep170)

I want this transition to be as smooth as possible.

Start from the start with episode 1

< Episode 169

170 0 duty begins.png

170 1 17 build up.png

The French National Team are at a bit of a crossroads and the squad for our Euro 2024 qualifiers against Bosnia and Albania reflects that to some extent. I’ve mentioned before that our golden generation who’ve won 2 consecutive World Cups will mostly be aged around 33 to 35 by the next one, so some sort of transitional period is inevitable. This leaves me with a choice: I can put all of my eggs in the same basket that Arsene Wenger’s been carrying for the last 8 years and try to win Euro 2024 at the expense of long term success, or I can start experimenting with bringing the next generation through. I’ve opted for the latter. Here’s the squad that my coaching staff have recommended to me, bearing in mind that Aymeric Laporte and Ousmane Dembélé are both ruled out through injury:

170 1 1 injuries.png

170 1 4 suggested squad.png

It’s fine. It’s safe. It’s pretty much the same squad I’ve picked in most of the matches I’ve played so far. I’ve gone a bit off-menu in some areas though:

170 1 8 squad named.png

Absolutely everyone I’ve picked in this squad is playing and in good form for their club sides and everyone has been selected with a balance between the old guard and the next generation in mind, as selecting 23 debutants would be absolutely mental. I want this transition to be as smooth as possible. 2 of the biggest names and unhappiest players to be dropped are N’Golo Kanté and Nabil Fekir, neither of whom are too thrilled. I give both of them a ring to explain my plans and while Fekir understands where I’m coming from, Kanté doesn’t. In all fairness my midfield is one area where there aren’t really any new faces as we’ve just got so many World Class footballers in that area. N’Golo’s unlucky in that he plays in probably the most competitive position in the squad and he’s been outshone domestically by Francis Coquelin, who the media have been begging me to bring back and for good reason.

170 1 11 squad announced

One player that I do feel uneasy about leaving out is Porto centre back Dayot Upamecano, as I’ve yet to call him up to a squad despite his fantastic form in the Liga Nos. I’m certain he’ll get his chance soon though because I do rate him very highly.

170 1 5 upamecano.png

We go into this match, finally, as the World’s top ranked nation. We all know how sketchy those FIFA World Rankings can be and despite having won 2 consecutive World Cups, we’ve only just scraped back up past Brazil into the top spot.

170 1 16 rankings.png

But let’s actually talk about some of these inclusions, because I’m planning on giving most of them a look over these 2 games. Tiémoué Bakayoko, who’s been very impressive for my French side so far, is suspended for the Bosnia match but might play a part against Albania. We will of course be playing Project: Renaissance and aiming to rip both of these teams to shreds. Here’s our starting XI for Bosnia & Herzegovina:

170 1 21 preview.png

Goalkeeper – Loïc Badiashile – Fenerbahçe

Loïc’s one of the more left-field picks in this squad. At 25 he’s never represented his nation any higher than at U21 level. That changes today. He’s impressed me with his performances in Turkey, where he’s conceded less than a goal per game and has accrued 10 clean sheets this season. He’s not the only man that I’ve got in mind to be Hugo Lloris’ long term replacement, but he’s certainly a contender.

170 1 2 2 badiashile.png

Defenders – Djibril Sidibé (Monaco), Raphaël Varane (Real Madrid), Samuel Umtiti (Barcelona), Benjamin Mendy (Atlético Madrid)

Midfield – Corentin Tolisso (Barcelona)

I’m going with tried and tested for now in defence so that Loïc gets a fair crack of the whip in net behind our first choice back line. Mendy gets the nod over Lucas Digne, as I’ve favoured Lucas so far in my tenure and I want to give Benjamin a chance to impress. Tolisso too has been on the fringes, but he’s world class and there’s no doubt in my mind that he’s worth a place.

Midfield – Francis Coquelin – AC Milan

As I say, Francis has played himself back into contention ahead of N’Golo Kanté. The thing is that at 31 years old, he’s not exactly one for the future. I want to know all of the options available to me though and it would be criminal for me not to give someone of Coquelin’s quality a look at least once.

170 1 2 13 coquelin

Attacking Midfield – Kingsley Coman, Paul Pogba (Both Manchester United), Thomas Lemar (Manchester City)

The 3 Manchester lads have arguably been France’s 3 best players since I took over. Coman and Lemar interchanging on the wings is the most natural thing in the World despite their club rivalry and they must be terrifying to go up against, while Paul Pogba has absolutely shone behind the striker, where he’s been able to have everything built around him.

Striker – Neal Maupay – FC Lorient

Neal is a very interesting one and I thank my lucky stars that Lorient signed him when they did – After the 1st match of the season, in which Auxerre beat them 1-0. Since then the 26 year old has been nothing short of a revelation, smashing in 23 goals in 25 games and fully deserving his full debut for the National side. I’m certainly not looking forward to Auxerre’s last match of the season, in which Maupay will undoubtedly line up against us this time.

170 1 2 23 maupay.png

We’ll get onto the rest as and when they get involved, but for now let’s get our Euro 2024 qualifying campaign underway.

170 1 22 formations.png

The referee blows his whistle and Neal Maupay kicks us off, passing to Kingsley Coman. Coman proceeds to go on a fantastic mazy run before laying the ball off for Maupay on the edge of the box, but the debutant striker’s shot is caught by Piric. Bloody hell, a debut goal after 18 seconds would’ve been some feat.

5 minutes in we are absolutely camped in Bosnia’s half and have 8 players around their box. They’re going to be difficult to break down with 2 holding men and a central midfielder in front of their back 4 and so it proves when Mendy’s dispossessed by Lazarevic, who hoofs the ball over the top for Husic to run onto. Husic has our defenders sprinting desperately back to catch him, but he runs through one on one with Badiashile. Husic shoots – But the keeper makes a great diving save and gets a rapturous ovation from the travelling fans.

In the 9th minute Kingsley Coman picks out Sidibé, who’s making one of his surging runs down the right wing, with an excellent pass. The fullback hits a driven cross into the box on the half-volley and Maupay latches on, volleying the ball into the net via a hefty deflection off Sanicanin which wrong-foots the keeper. They all count though. Maupay’s off the mark 9 minutes into his International career.

What’s really pleasing apart from Neal’s goal in these early stages is how brightly Coquelin’s started. He’s really dictating the game from midfield. A few minutes after the first goal, the ball winner finds a bit of space and sprays a fantastic pass out to Lemar on the left, who crosses from the byline. Coman meets it and heads at goal from close range, but he hits the bar and Piric smothers the rebound.

The energetic start to the match continues when our corner breaks down after a quarter of an hour and Bosnia counter. Duljevic wriggles clear of Varane on the left wing and slides a pass into the box for Husic, who equalises from close range. In another situation I might rearrange slightly, pulling us back a bit to try and stop Bosnia’s ability to counter, but this is France and this is Project: Renaissance. Let Bosnia counter. We’ll just have to score even more goals in reply.

Neal Maupay agrees. In the 22nd minute, we score a very similar goal to our first when Coman pings the ball out to Sidibé, who drills a cross in for the debutant striker, who slots the ball under the keeper this time without the need of a deflection.

It could be 3 inside half an hour but after Coquelin passes to Coman, he shrugs off Lazarevic’s challenge inside the box and fires a shot just wide of the far post.

We carry on attacking as half time edges closer: First Thomas Lemar’s corner is flicked on by Umtiti and volleyed just wide at the far post by Coquelin, who’s so close to bagging his first goal for France. Then with a minute to play of the first half, a beautiful move ends with Maupay pulling the ball back for Sidibé, who chips a cross to the far post and Coman again hits the woodwork, heading against the angle. We go in at the break 2-1 up but it should be more.

After a quick word of encouragement, the second half gets underway and begins with a rare Bosnian foray into our half. We win the ball and counter quickly though, with Coman leading the charge. He races to the right byline and chips the ball into the box for Maupay, whose initial volley is blocked, but Coquelin’s there to knock in the rebound. There’s his first goal.

The second half on the whole is much quieter than the first but Maupay does go achingly close to completing a debut hat trick when he hits the ball against the post following a cross from Lemar, but the score remains at 3-1. Hervin Ongenda and Francis Obin make late debut cameos.

170 1 23 post.png

170 2 10 pre match.png

Not bad. Not perfect, but not bad at all. The win could have been more comfortable but the lads I brought in to impress did exactly that. Neal Maupay even picked up the Player of the Match award in recognition of his brace. Albania are up next, 3 days after Bosnia. They’ve started with a win too, taking all 3 points from Liechtenstein. Although I too intend to beat Liechtenstein, I feel like I’ve earned that right. Albania defeating my former Nation weirdly makes me want to hammer them all the more.

170 2 11 preview.png

We’re going to be making a few changes in Parc Olympique Lyonais, partly due to fitness, partly due to experimentation. Here’s the XI:

Goalkeeper – Lionel Gauthier – FC Sochaux

Lionel’s caught my eye for many reasons lately. He’s had an outstanding breakthrough season at Sochaux, letting in only a goal per game and keeping 5 clean sheets at the age of 19. Plus, the wound from my Auxerre side’s hammering at the hands of his Sochaux is still extremely raw and as devastating as that result was, Sochaux and Gauthier were very impressive. Leo’s definitely another contender to take the gloves from Lloris.

170 1 2 3 gauthier.png

Defenders – Sebastien Corchia (Stoke City), Samuel Umtiti (Barcelona), Benjamin Mendy (Atlético Madrid)

Corchia comes in for Sidibé, who could do with a rest, but Umtiti and Mendy keep their places.

Centre Back – Francis Obin – Toulouse FC (On loan from Chelsea)

Francis is an interesting prospect, so much so that I’ve picked him over Dayot Upamecano, who’s 6 years his senior and far more experienced. Francis’ skillset is not that of the rest of the French defenders in that he’s not much of a ball player, he’s more of an old fashioned no-nonsense centre back. Given that he’s only 18 and he’s showing as much ability as he is though, he could easily be the best no-nonsense centre back in the World in a few years.

170 1 2 9 obin.png

Midfielders – Adrien Rabiot, Tiémoué Bakayoko (Both AS Monaco)

2 more extremely high quality players that are contributing to our headache in central midfield. They play alongside each other at club level too since Rabiot’s switch from Barcelona and that should give us a built-in partnership in the centre.

Right Winger – Yann Karamoh – Everton FC

Given the quality of some of the players in this squad, it’s odd that the player who makes me feel like a bit of a fan-boy is Yann, because of the club he plays for. The Evertonian winger has been in my thoughts since I took over as France Head Coach, but his recent form has put him in contention for a squad place. He’s an extremely good option to have either up front or off the right, as he’s quick, strong, good on and off the ball and absolutely driven.

170 1 2 21 karamoh.png

Attacking Midfielders – Paul Pogba (Manchester United), Kylien Mbappé (AS Monaco)

Pogba I’ve mentioned, Mbappé I don’t really need to. These are 2 of the best players in the World and not being able to fit them, Coman and Lemar into the same side is another headache I’m having to contend with.

Striker – Hervin Ongenda – Standard Liège

Hervin’s another uncapped striker who’ll be hoping to follow in Maupay’s footsteps by getting off the mark for his country at the ripe-ish age of 27. For me, the position of striker has yet to be locked down by anyone, with Antoine Griezmann, 32 next week, the closest player we have to being first choice. Hervin’s had a good season in Belgium so let’s see if he can stake a claim.

170 1 2 22 ongenda.png

170 2 12 formations.png

In a moment of unbelievable symmetry from our previous match, Mbappé drives straight at the Albanian defence, passes to Karamoh, who lays the ball off for Corchia on the overlap. Corchia crosses it into the box and Hervin Ongenda strokes the ball past Berisha on the half-volley to open his account for his country – 18 seconds in.

Within 5 minutes we’ve doubled it and it’s another player who’s off the mark for his country: Samuel Umtiti meets Kylien Mbappé’s cross after his initial corner’s cleared and flicks the ball into the net.

On the half hour Albania take a leaf out of Bosnia’s book and resort to hoofing the ball downfield on the counter attack. Manaj chases the pass, turns past Obin skilfully and cuts inside from the left flank. He shoots from 20 yards but Gauthier shows safe hands to hold onto the ball.

A few minutes more pass before Bakayoko pings the ball over to Mendy on the left wing. The Atleti man floats a cross in towards the far post and Mbappé slams it home on the volley for 3-0.

The rest of the match passes without many more incidents apart from Karamoh taking a knock to the noggin with 20 minutes to go and having to go off for treatment. Albania actually take advantage of our going down to 10 men and pull one back when Berisha escapes the attention of Mendy and cuts the ball back for Ahmedi, who powers it in.

Griezmann and Maupay make late appearances as I flex the ridiculous muscle that is our bench, but it’s Albania that go close soon after when Ferati plays the ball over top for Mucolli to chase. He gets into the box and blasts it, but Gauthier tips the ball acrobatically over the bar.

Taulant Xhaka gets a needless straight red in the 89th minute for trying to hack off most of Mbappé’s leg, otherwise Albania would have probably been relatively pleased with the outcome of the match. It’s difficult to argue with the result from our point of view too. 2 wins from our first 2 qualifiers and we’re well on our way to Euro 2024.

170 2 13 post

170 3 4 league.png

170 3 5 duty ends

Episode 171 >

Happy Birthday (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep169)

Today’s one of my favourite days in the footballing calendar.

Start from the start with episode 1

< Episode 168

I wince as goal number 3 goes in and look over to Auxerre’s Head of Youth Development, Boguslaw Pietrzak. His head’s in his hands and it’s no surprise. Today’s one of my favourite days in the footballing calendar: The U19s v Youth Candidates match, where we weigh up our potential new recruits. The match starts well enough, with 2 of the potential “Stars” of the academy starting for the youth team:

169 1 1 youth intake.png

Jordan Leroux, a young playmaker who I’ve been promised has excellent technique and balance. He’s not really enough of a grafter yet to be a potential first teamer but at 14 there’s plenty of time for that to be coached in…

169 1 3 leroux.png

… And Lance Osborn, an American striker brought in through our affiliation with Texas Rush. Like Jordan, Lance isn’t really a grafter and will need to raise his work rate, but he knows where the net is and that’s certainly a start.

169 1 4 osborn.png

After 35 minutes of the match though one lad in particular grabs my attention for entirely the wrong reason. Badaoui fires a speculative 25 yarder at youth keeper Alex Guerin and it should be a routine save, but the young stopper spills the ball over the line. In the second half, the other 2 players that I’m paying special attention to come off the bench: Abdoulaye Faye, a pacy and skilful wingback who needs to work on his technical skills…

169 1 2 faye.png

… And Sylvain Magnin, another young striker and someone very much in the Franjo mould. He’s determined and also knows where the net is, so for my money is probably the most promising of the lot.

169 1 5 magnin.png

With 20 minutes to go I’ve all but forgotten about young Alex Guerin’s mistake in the first half, happy to put it down to nerves, but then he fluffs another equally non-threatening shot from Badaoui and leaves the striker with an easy tap in from the rebound. 15 minutes from time a free kick from the U19’s Kouassi is curled into the box, flicked on by Guillaume and Guerin’s in no man’s land. He comes out and misjudges the flight of the ball, allowing our young Texan centre back Daniel Garza to tuck in the 3rd.

169 1 6 post.png

“Alex is usually better than this,” mutters Pietrzak from behind his hands. I chuckle. We’ll give him a deal anyway and put it down to an off day until we’ve seen a bit more of him. I should also mention that although Abdelilah Aidir is among the ranks of our newest recruits, he’s no relation of Hicham’s.

169 2 1 candidates signed.png

With just one Ligue 1 match to go before France’s first qualifying matches ahead of Euro 2024, I desperately want to make it count. The horror show of our 3 consecutive matches against the 2 best teams in the league is over and we’re 1 point better off than I thought we’d be, but now we’ve got an excellent chance to kick on with a home tie against Sochaux.

The goalscorer from our 1-1 draw with PSG, Lamine Fomba, makes the team of the week for his contribution. He’s still not the most consistent midfielder in the squad, but on his day he’s certainly one of our best. Needless to say, he immediately twists his ankle in training after this thought crosses my mind and will miss 3-5 weeks.

An interesting option to replace him happens to present himself just at the right time though: Mathis Roux, a participant in last year’s Youth Candidates match, has just turned pro. The young playmaker could well be the most promising youth player currently at the club so I’m eager to get him into the squad.

The Guingamp Chairman Bertrand Despiat’s in touch, hoping to lure me in for an interview. I wish Chairmen talked to each other a bit more though because practically every one of his counterparts in this league would be able to tell him that I’m not bloody interested.

169 2 4 guingamp interview.png

I also get a fair few applicants for the vacant assistant manager’s job including Crouchie’s predecessor Raphaël Guerreiro, but none of them appeal to me. Bechkoura will keep his temporary role for now.

Sochaux, then. Sochaux are probably the best team we could possibly face today, especially at home. We’re in poor form having not won in 6 games, but our opponents haven’t won a match in 2 full months. Their early season tag of “Overachievers” is rapidly wearing off and I can’t think of a better side to use as a springboard back to form.

169 2 2 6 without win

169 2 11 preview.png

We’re going to keep it simple today. We beat Sochaux with Project: Burnie Mk V (Wingbacks) in the cup, so we’re doing the exact same thing again. We’ll look to control the game and play with fluidity. Sissako and Zoun are in the starting XI replacing Fomba and Goujon, while Mathis Roux makes the bench on his 16th birthday.

169 2 12 formations.png

13 minutes in Brahim Ferhat almost accidentally gets us off to the perfect start when Phil Foden’s 20 yard shot deflects off our striker and bounces back off the inside of the post. With thudding inevitability, Bajric finds space on the right wing for Sochaux 4 minutes later and whips in a cross, which Malele directs into our net to open the scoring. It’s not ideal but we’ll try and open up a bit more and express ourselves to impose our dominance on the game. 6 minutes later however, Malele doubles his tally with a carbon copy of his first goal, with Bajric again getting the assist. We go on the attack but our last game before the international break seems to be over after only 23 minutes.

I lay into the players at half time. We’ve not even started playing yet and it’s so frustrating to watch us flail about when we’ve got so much potential. The second half starts off with a bit more promise. Sochaux do get a chance when Faustin drives at the defence and shoots from the edge of the box, but this time Lenogue’s equal to it and holds onto the ball. Just as I start to get all optimistic though, a Júnior corner comes into our box and Sohna’s adjudged to push Bajric to the floor. It’s a soft, soft penalty call. It’s times like these that I think it’s a shame that VAR never took off. Melele steps up and slams the ball straight into the top left corner from 12 yards, inches out of Lenogue’s reach.

We’ve still got 25 minutes to win back some self respect with a goal or 2 though, so Bassani and Ayé come on replacing Foden and Zoun, with Ferhat going over to the left wing. With Bassani’s pace and directness combined with Ayé’s hold up play, surely this will offer more of a… Bajric drills a cross in from the right and Facundo Ferreyra buries Sochaux’s 4th. Excellent. Good. Fucking marvelous.

Then it all starts to get a bit silly. With over 20 minutes still to play, Ayé’s dispossessed and Masinari hoofs the ball upfield on the counter attack. Sochaux sub Germain beats Captiste to the ball, goes one on one with Lenogue and rolls in a 5th. Ayé does manage to head in a consolation goal 2 minutes later when Kitanov comes running out of his net and flaps at Samba’s cross, but it’s of no real consolation. I throw Mathis Roux on for the last 15 minutes. Happy birthday, lad. I hope you grow up to be much better than this rabble. To his credit, Roux looks tidy throughout his cameo.

5 minutes from time, Sohna does just enough to ensure Malele can only hit the post from 6 yards out, but it wouldn’t have mattered to me if that’d been 1-6. This has been a real wake up call. Gutless. Pathetic. Absolutely inexcusable. I’m going to go off and take care of these Euro 2024 qualifiers and then when I get back we’re tearing everything up and starting again, because if this shower don’t start improving fast, we’re fucking gone.

169 2 13 post

169 3 1 roux debut

171 1 1 roux youngest player.png

169 3 2 slam

169 3 4 league

Episode 170 >

Project: “Sword” (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep168)

You know what? I concede. I’ll change.

🦁🦁🦁

Start from the start with episode 1

< Mini-sode 167.5

I just don’t bloody know. Crouch leaving has left me in the uncomfortable position of not having an assistant or anyone in mind to be my next assistant. After consulting with my staff about potential replacements and getting nowhere, I put out an advert and wait for the applications to start pouring in. Auxerre and France coach David Bechkoura will stand in and assist me as best he can for club and country in the meantime.

168 1 3 search starts

169 2 6 bechkoura

David’s first job will be to help me strategise for our home match against Monaco. We didn’t have the best time against them last time we met so we’ll need to be smart about this and defend resiliently to prevent a repeat performance.

168 1 6 preview.png

Only joking. We played our best football in the PSG match when we went at them and attacked. We’ll do that from the start today. I can just feel it, we can pull off an upset here. Arturo Vidal and Faouzi Hikem will miss out through suspension though so Raf and Billy are drafted in.

168 1 7 formations.png

The first half is one way traffic… But not in a good way. The best chances all come from corners, firstly when Giménez flicks on Bernardo’s cross and Jorge heads straight into Lenogue’s arms. The next one is on the half hour mark. Again Bernardo swings a cross in and this time Giménez heads straight for goal but is denied by a combination of Lenogue and Billy blocks on the line. The ball bounces down kindly for Adrien Rabiot though, who makes no mistake from a yard out. 0-1. Just before the break, we’re undone again: Bernardo in, Lenogue comes out, misses his interception and leaves that man Giménez with an open goal to nod the ball into. We’ve ballsed this up a bit haven’t we.

Having found no joy in our attacking set up we drop back just slightly and attempt to control, to keep the ball and to find a foothold before the game slips even more out of reach. With half an hour to go, Joël, Ferhat and Tirard all come on, but the result’s put beyond doubt with 5 minutes to play when more of my French National side link up, namely Sidibé drills a cross in from the right and Mbappé’s shot deflects in off Captiste and wrong-foots Lenogue, who I should probably point out is blameless for this one. The second half is better than the first, but not by much.

168 1 8 post.png

168 2 2 5 without win.png

In the wake of the game, I’m not really in the mood for things that don’t involve stopping the rot at Auxerre. Championship side Wolves’ Chairman Guangchang Guo barely manages to say the word “interview” before we’re mysteriously cut off.

168 2 6 wolves interview.png

Joël’s also barely able to voice his concerns about his lack of first team football before he’s set upon by the ridiculously convincing Captiste, who turns the little Ivorian’s frown upside down.

With that out of the way, I can focus on wallowing in self-pity. Auxerre are starting to fall apart. Ok yes, we’ve lost 2 matches in a row by a combined score of 0-5 but they were against PSG and Monaco. I get that and I don’t want to go overboard. We were always going to lose those. The press don’t agree though, calling me “Reluctant to experiment tactically”.

168 2 1 unwilling to experiment.png

This notion of course leaks straight into social media, where the general public waste no time regurgitating it as their own view. Perfect.

168 2 3 social media.png

But the final straw for me is when Pep Guardiola feels the need to defend me in his press conference when asked about my abysmal record against… Well, Paris Saint-Germain. The way Pep phrases it though, it feels an awful lot like pity and it makes my stomach churn. I don’t need your pity, Guardiola, I don’t need advice from the papers and I definitely, definitely don’t need it from social fucking media. But fine. You know what? I concede. I’ll change. I’ll create a system to “stop” PSG unlike anything else I’ve put out before. If we lose, then at least everyone will be able to accept that certain teams in Ligue 1 are just far bloody better than us.

168 2 10 pep pity.png

So what do we need against Pep and his 4-2-3-1? Well we’ll need to borrow elements from defensive systems I’ve used before of course: We’ll play narrow and restrict space in the middle, forcing them out onto the wings. We’ll also sit deeper to prevent their rapid players from slipping in behind us and we’ll sit off more and stay on our feet to prevent them from pulling us all out of position. Our defensive full backs will chuck crosses in but for the main part we’ll play through the middle, where we’ll have plenty of legs.

168 2 4 instructions.png

And the shape? Well the shape is dedicated to Dylan Marchal and his blog. Can you tell what it’s meant to resemble?

168 2 5 proj sword shape.png

That’s right, a sword. A sword and absolutely nothing else, because of the rapier-like wit Dylan no doubt exercises in his little blog. Project: “Sword” is go.

168 2 12 preview.png

Lenogue’s on the thinnest ice in terms of coming out for corners now, but he keeps his place still thanks to the goodwill he’s built up with me over the last 2 years. Samba, Captiste, Sohna and Hikem are the back 4, Vidal and Goujon hold midfield, Fomba and McCarthy are the energy in front of them, while Foden plays off Ferhat at the top end of the pitch.

168 2 13 formations.png

PSG do take the lead, but the first half hour is their absolute worst nightmare. We defend valiantly, we deny them any space in the middle and we harass them mercilessly as they attempt to push forwards. It’s Orlando that opens the scoring, tapping in a Lato cross to give the hosts the lead, but each side manages just 2 shots in the first half hour. And then, against all odds, we equalise. Just before the break, Foden passes inside to Ferhat, who’s dropped deep and has Fomba running in behind. Ferhat helps the ball on and Lamine Fomba shoots low and hard past Donnarumma to equalise.

The second half devolves into the hosts taking pot shots from way outside the area, only 2 of which find the target. We hold the fuck on for the draw.

168 2 14 post.png

Social Media are impressed and so am I. That’s our losing streak over. That’s our run of losses against Pep over. That’s us… 18th in the league, but ignore that. We’ve done well today.

168 3 1 social media

168 3 2 league

Episode 169 >

Crouching Tiger (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Mini-sode 167.5)

Who the fuck do you think you are, Peter?

Start from the start with episode 1

< Episode 167

dc3

New Hull manager John Kennedy has bolstered his backroom staff today with the appointment of Ligue 1 strugglers AJ Auxerre’s Peter Crouch as his assistant. Crouch has reportedly been unsettled for a while in France and has been growing disenchanted at the club under the wilting powers of struggling L’AJA and France manager WT Franco.

When approached by the BBC, Kennedy said “I’m delighted to be bringing Crouchie on board. He’s well loved in England and has a massive amount of experience at the very top level of English football, which will be invaluable both for me and for Hull City.”

Crouch also brings a keen eye for talent to the KC Stadium, having reportedly played a huge role in bringing the likes of fellow Englishman Phil Foden to his former club, who’s gone on to become a key signing.

168 1 2 crouch leaves.png

“Can I have a word, Boss?” Asks Crouch, popping his head around my office door.

“I think the Beeb’s just done that for you, mate.” I reply coldly, looking up from my monitor. He grimaces.

“Sorry.” He mutters. “Got in as fast as I could.”

“Who the fuck do you think you are, Peter?” I’m aware that I’m staring and probably starting to go red in the face. “If you want to fuck off home then fuck off home, but unsettled? Disenchanted? A huge role in bringing Foden to Auxerre? My best defender and 2 best strikers are crocked heading into a crucial run in our relegation scrap and you’re busy spreading this bullshit to the BBC?”

“It’s not bullshit.” He says, stepping in and shutting the door behind him. “I told you I wanted to go home. We could have gone together! I told you to join Hull!”

“Oh, bollocks to Hull City!” I shout, slamming my fists on the desk as I get to my feet. “I turned that interview down because I’ve got a fucking job to do! Keeping this club in Ligue 1! You’re meant to be my assistant, so fucking assist me!”

“That’s not my job anymore.” He replies quietly. A heavy silence follows.

“Then get out.” I reply quietly. “And post your resignation for France by the end of the day.” I sit back down and pretend to busy myself with a few nearby sheets of miscellaneous paper. I see movement in the periphery of my vision and then hear the sound of a door closing. I look back up to an empty office.

A defender, 2 strikers and now my right hand man. Who the fuck next.

168 1 4 crouch removed

Episode 168 >

On A Knife’s Edge (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep167)

Hoo-fucking-ray.

Start from the start with episode 1

< Mini-sode 166.5

167 1 1 kennedy spotted.png

Bourg-en-Bresse have barely crossed my mind this season if I’m honest. Last year we had a pretty intense rivalry going for the majority of the season but it’s only since our good run of form a few games ago that they’ve actually come onto our radar at the bottom end of the table. I hate that they’ve had such a stable campaign so far though. Bourg were able to make a slew of signings in the Summer, shelling out over £2M, including the £375k signing of Hervé Fernandez, who’s gone on to score 16 goals for them.

And us? Well… Corentin Tirard’s back in full training. Hoo-fucking-ray.

167 1 4 tirard back.png

167 1 6 preview.png

We’re making a few changes today to try and prevent 2 straight losses from becoming 3. Our skipper Captiste is suspended so Mike Kakuba comes in alongside his old mate Sohna, while Celsiney makes way for Issa Samba at right back as he’s the best leader we have in Captiste’s absence. In all fairness has always done me proud with the armband when called upon. I’m also dropping Alessandro Bassani from the squad entirely, putting Foden back on the right, Florian Ayé up top and Tirard on the bench. If things are really desperate maybe he’ll finally be able to show his worth. We’re going on the counter attack from the start, which is why I want big Florian up front and we’ll play direct to him.

167 1 7 formations.png

Sissako rattles the bar with a stinging volley in the opening minutes after Hikem sets him up with a cross from the left, but before the 10 minute mark Bourg work the ball back into our box after Sohna fails to clear a Tsvyatkov cross and Fernandez turns it into the net.

The rest of the first half is tight with no real chances to speak of and Fomba tweaks his hamstring just before the break. At half time I decide to bring him off and give McCarthy a run out as a playmaker. I don’t hold back with my team talk either, giving the lads an absolute bollocking. They’re a determined bunch of course, so they head back out looking determined to show me something else.

20 seconds into the 2nd half, Mike Kakuba shows me that he’s actually a little bit too pumped up by my half time rant by hacking down Fernandez with 2 feet just outside the box. The referee brings out his red card and I would not be surprised if that’s a season wrap for Kakuba. As a man on the fringes he needs to take chances like this and he’s fucked it.

A change in system is required so Loïc Goujon and Joël come on in place of Vidal and Zoun. We go to a narrow 4-3-1-1 with Goujon in defence and Foden behind Ayé. This is not how I wanted this second half to start but the saving grace is that Fernandez smacks Bourg’s free kick over the bar.

With 25 minutes to go and with no change to the scoreline we ditch our cautious approach and go on the attack, resulting almost immediately in a levelling of the playing field when Hikem surges inside from the left and is tripped by Bodin, who was already on a yellow and gets another for his trouble. Nevertheless the final whistle brings an end to a poor but even game and we’ve now lost 3 on the bounce.

167 1 8 post.png

167 2 5 pre match.png

Mike Kakuba gets an earful in my office the next day. I tell him how disappointed I am and how much he needs to up his game if he wants to play regularly at this level. I also slap the obligatory 2 week fine on him, which he accepts without comment.

A few minutes after Mike leaves, a knock on my office door makes me jump. It opens and Crouchie walks in, shutting the door behind him. “Can I have a word, Boss?” He asks, pulling up a chair. I gesture for him to sit down.

“Hull City…” He begins. I start to laugh.

“Mate, we’ve been over this. I’m not interested. Besides, they got someone. John Kennedy, isn’t it? He was at ours the other day. Wants to sign Celsiney, apparently. Good luck with…”

“He wants to sign me too.” Crouchie mutters. I stop laughing and look up from my notes. He avoids eye contact.

167 2 3 hull want crouch.png

“I see.” I say after a moment, hearing the surprise in my voice. “And do you…”

“I’m thinking about it.” He says. There’s a long, awkward silence.

“Well look,” I begin, selecting my words carefully. “If it’s about money…”

“It’s not.” He cuts me off. “I told you Boss, I want to be back in the Premier League. I want to go home.”

“Now? You want to go home now?! We’re on a bloody knife’s edge here mate and you want to leave us to it?” Crouchie sighs and shrugs.

“I don’t know.” He says. Another awkward silence follows.

“OK, well… Thanks for letting me know. I’ll have the club offer you an improved contract, so… You know.” He nods, then gets to his feet and walks out of the office, closing the door behind him again.

Screen Shot 2018-07-02 at 21.32.35.png

The timing of Nancy Lorraine’s offer of an interview is poor. I tell them the same as I told Sylvania: Not interested.

167 2 4 nancy interview.png

The main reason I didn’t want our 2 match losing streak to become 3 and the reason I’m so fucking annoyed at Mike Kakuba is that I wanted to give us a glimmer of hope before we entered our next 3 matches: PSG in the French Cup, then Monaco in the league, then PSG in the league. This could be a bloody confidence destroying couple of weeks.

167 2 6 preview.png

It is what it is though and as I say, we’ll start by welcoming Paris Saint-Germain to Stade l’Abbé-Deschamps for our French Cup 11th round tie. As our “lump the ball up to the big man” experiment failed completely last match, we’re going back to our standard Project: Burnie Mk V, with short passing, patient play and low crosses into false 9 Phil Foden. Bassani comes back in for Ayé on the right, while Captiste and Goujon replace Kakuba and Sohna, who are both suspended but for entirely different reasons.

167 2 7 formations.png

We don’t get off to a good start when the clouds part and rain comes hammering down, making our short passing game more difficult due to the muddy surface. We don’t get much time to dwell on that though because after 20 minutes, Orlando leaves Samba for dead on the left wing, crosses from the byline for Vandecasteele, who volleys in the first of what I can only imagine will be quite a few goals. We ditch the short passing and go into attack mode. Let’s at least go down swinging.

We do give Pep and his cronies something to think about from that point on and manage to scrape through to half time with the score still 0-1. In classic fashion though within 5 minutes of the second half, Rolón Martinez is felled in the box by Arturo Vidal, who’s actually lucky not to receive a second yellow card.

Verratti’s the man to place the ball on the spot and he shoots to the left of goal, but it’s a good height for Xavier Lenogue, who continues his remarkable penalty saving run and keeps us within touching reach of the visitors.

With half an hour to go we finally threaten, working the ball up the pitch with a nice move. Fomba lays the ball off for Zoun on the left, who tries to curl it into the far corner of the net but doesn’t bend it as much as he’d like to and misses the target.

McCarthy, Ferhat and Tirard all make appearances not long after but soon after the changes, Verratti controls Martínez’s cross on his knee and half volleys the ball viciously from the edge of the box, rattling the post.

With 20 minutes to go the game’s effectively put beyond doubt when Martínez steps away from Goujon, creating half a yard of space that te Argentine uses to clip the ball perfectly into the far corner of the net.

167 2 8 post.png

I’m not proud to say this, but I’ll take a 0-2 loss against a team like PSG. If the next 2 games finish 0-2 I won’t be complaining too much. 0-2 isn’t comfortable, it’s just functional. It’s a functional way of knocking us out of the French Cup. We’ve suffered a routine, functional loss. Hoo-fucking-ray.

167 3 1 defeat

167 3 2 league

Mini-sode 167.5 >

The Finest Clubs (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Mini-sode 166.5)

To what do I owe the pleasure?

Start from the start with episode 1

< Episode 166

“So,” I begin, “To what do I owe the pleasure?” I lift my mug and take a sip of coffee, before replacing it on the gingham tablecloth.

“Thank you for meeting with me, Monsieur Franjo.” Says Sylvania through her thick accent, smiling nervously. “I thought you would think me insane to ask.”

I could definitely respond to that sentiment, but I bite my tongue and wait for her to continue. Sylvania looks like she’s had a rough year. The swagger that she exhibited when we first met in this very café is missing, as is her smart business suit, replaced by a scruffy sweatshirt and jeans. Her once rounded face looks fairly gaunt and there’s bags under her bespectacled brown eyes.

“What if I told you, Monsieur Franjo, that I’ve been discussing your future with the finest clubs in the World?” She smiles again, but meekly. It’s somehow unsettling to see her so devoid of her usual over-confidence.

“I would find that… Interesting…” … As you don’t represent me anymore. Actually I’m not entirely you sure you ever did. Sylvania’s watching me intently. “Are you feeling OK, Sylvania?”

She ignores the question. “Who in your opinion is the finest club? The very finest?”

“I suppose… I don’t know, Bayern Munich? Man United?” Her smile fades. “… But you know, there’s a lot of really great clubs.” It comes back a little bit. This is not how I expected this meeting to go. I feel like I’m walking on eggshells.

“I got you an interview…” She lowers her voice and leans in over the table, before looking back over each shoulder for dramatic effect. “…With Stade Rennais.” Sylvania’s smile widens slightly but is still nowhere near cheshire cat territory.

167 1 2 stade rennais interview.png

“Wow, that’s… Great.” I reply, trying and probably failing to sound enthusiastic. Stade Rennais are 15th in Ligue 1 and don’t represent much of a step up.

“Je connais!” She whispers excitedly. “But that isn’t all, Monsieur. You may also interview with…” She leans in further still, so that her face is hovering above my coffee mug. Again, she checks over each shoulder in case anyone in the empty Perk de L’Abre Sec is eavesdropping on this highly confidential conversation. As she does, I lean back slightly to maintain a more comfortable distance. “… Lille Olympique!” She hisses, her smile growing wider still.

167 1 3 lille interview.png

I raise my eyebrows and exhale to make an impressed Pwwwwww noise. Lille are below Auxerre in 18th place. “Just one thing… You know before when you asked who I considered to be the finest team in the World?”

“Oui, you accidentally forgot to name any teams from France!”

I nod. “Bayern, United, Rennais, Lille…” I grin as I list them off.

“Much better.” She chuckles. I laugh too.

“Anyway,” I say, checking the clock on the wall. “I’m afraid that for now I’m going to have to give you my standard Manager drivel: I’m not thinking about the end of the season or the end of my contract yet. I just want to keep Auxerre in Ligue 1.” I finish my coffee and stand to leave. “It was good to see you though, Sylvania.” I smile. “Take care.”

I collect my trusty grey coat from the back of my chair, stride over to the door and pull it open with a “Ding-a-ling” of the old shopkeeper’s bell. As I go to step out though, I hear a shaky voice from behind me.

“Je suis désolé.” Says Sylvania.

I turn to face her and see the tears welling up in her eyes. For a moment I just stand there, frozen on the spot. I have no idea what to say, but I’m fairly sure it’s my turn to say something. Anything will do really. Anything at all.

I smile as genuinely as I can back at Sylvania and nod, before stepping out onto Rue des Carrières and letting the door swing shut behind me.

Episode 167 >

Forsaken (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep166)

Please let it be a one-off.

Start from the start with Episode 1

< Episode 165

It’s been a weird few weeks, hasn’t it. We’ve lost Aidir, we’ve lost Andre and yet somehow we’re in probably our best form of the season. Auxerre are sitting pretty on Valentines Day in 17th place, 2 points clear of the relegation play off spot with a game in hand over our rivals. We’re unbeaten in 5 league games now, 3 of which we’ve won.

166 1 1 unbeaten.png

Xavier “Le God” Lenogue makes the Ligue 2 Team of the Week for his penalty heroics against Bordeaux at the weekend, because bloody obviously. The man is to saving penalties what Maradonna was to beating his man, what Dixie Dean was to finding the net and what Richard Dunne was to securing an early bath. So fucking reliable.

166 1 2 totw.png

A midweek trip to Nantes beckons, which could very well take our form from ‘very good’ to ‘exceptional’. They too have a game in hand over the relegation pack and sit 2 points and 2 places above us, meaning that a win would take us 15th. A winning margin of 2 goals or more would actually take us above Ajaccio into nosebleed central, or 14th place as it’s more commonly called.

166 1 4 preview.png

Nantes tend to go with either a 4-2-3-1 or a 4-2-4, but regardless I’m not going to change from the counter attacking Project: Burnie Mk V (Fullbacks) as it’s been treating us pretty well. To add to our injury woes however we’re without Issa Samba, Billy and Raf for this one as they’ve all picked up 1 match suspensions. Promising fullback Celsiney comes in on the right side of defence for his league debut and I begrudgingly welcome back Faouzi Hikem on the left for the first time since he committed grievous bodily harm on Chamois Niortais’ Kévin Rocheteau. Abdoulaye Sissako is back in midfield and Zoun comes in on the left wing, which allows Brahim Ferhat to be the spearhead of our attack. I have my doubts about Brahim’s ability to lead the line due to his technical frailties, but we’re rapidly running out of options and Phil Foden’s been hit and miss as a false 9. There is some good news however, as Fabien McCarthy’s finally back to end his 2 month absence from the squad and is fit enough for the bench. He left for AFCON in pretty good form, so I’m hoping he’ll pick up where he left off.

166 1 5 formations.png

Nantes opt for a 4-2-4 with 2 holding men, so we’ll focus our play down the middle where we should have plenty of space in front of them. It’s Nantes that threaten first after 7 minutes though, when the delightfully named Sunday John lifts the ball into the left channel for pacy Uruguayan Ardaiz to chase. He shoots from a narrow angle but can only find the side netting. I tell Captiste to move the defensive line back a bit to try and prevent more passes over the top.

Unfortunately 10 minutes after the chance we concede the opening goal. Otávio swings a corner into the 6 yard box, Lenogue comes out of his net and flails his hands towards the ball but doesn’t connect, leaving Ardaiz with a simple header into the empty net. By half time we draw level though and it’s a nice move through the middle that creates the goal, culminating with Ferhat holding the ball up and slipping Phil Foden in on behind the defence. He’s dispossessed by a great Gaaloul slide tackle but the ball only rolls on to Zoun, who slots it past the keeper for 1-1.

I encourage the team to kick on in my half time team talk, but within 2 minutes of the restart we’re behind again with an almost carbon copy of the first goal. Otávio swings a corner in once again, Lenogue’s beaten in the air by Basila, who nods it across for Ardaiz to hammer in another infuriatingly easy set piece goal.

For the last half hour, I swap Zoun and Foden onto the opposite flanks so that they can lob more crosses in towards Ferhat, who’ll play as a target man. With 20 to go, I bring on Ayé in place of Zoun and we go to a narrow diamond with Foden behind the front 2 and with 10 minutes to play we start to throw the kitchen sink at the hosts, but none of it’s to any avail. In the closing minutes of the match Belloni finds space on the right, chips a cross in for Pedro at the far post, whose header is flapped at by Lenogue, who just about keeps the ball out. Pedro makes no mistake on the rebound and the match ends 1-3.

166 1 6 post.png

Le God has well and truly forsaken me today. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a better example of a player at the top of their game one match and then falling to pieces the next. Awful. In all fairness the rest of the team didn’t perform that badly. I’d actually place all 3 goals at Lenogue’s feet… Hands… You know what I mean. One of the better performers, Celsiney, is attracting a fair bit of attention from the Premier League. Hull and Leicester are apparently interested but Southampton boss Brian McClair was in the stands for that one with his eyes on our young right back. I’m not too impressed when asked about this in my post match interviews. Celsiney’s got a bright future for Auxerre so I won’t be welcoming bids.

166 2 2 celsiney

Speaking of Premier League interest, I think I’m becoming known as the natural successor to Ryan Giggs for some reason. The former part-time Wales International left Championship champions Boro in the Summer and I was offered an interview then, but now he’s been sacked by Crystal Palace, who’ve also offered me an interview. I’m equally as uninterested in the Premier League as I was all those months ago.

166 2 4 palace interview.png

Before our next match, Fabien McCarthy joins back in with full training. He remained an unused sub in our last match but I remain hopeful that he’ll play a big part in our run-in, so this is pretty pleasing news.

166 2 5 mccarthy back.png

Let’s bounce back to form then with a nice home tie against 14th place Stade Brestois. This is exactly the sort of game we need after such a frustrating loss and I fully expect 3 points.

166 2 7 preview.png

Brestois play with a 4-4-2 so we’re going to line up pretty similarly to how we did against Guingamp a few weeks back: Project: Burnie Mk 5 (Wingbacks) is on the agenda, with overlapping wingbacks, shorter passing and patient moves into the box. Brahim Ferhat’s dropped off a bit so Bassani comes in on the right wing and Foden moves back to his false 9 position. Our suspended players are all back but I decide to keep Celsiney, Hikem and Sissako in the team as they all had decent games and don’t really deserve to be dropped. Lenogue keeps his place too purely because he had such a good game against Bordeaux and I’m going to put the Nantes game down to a one-off. Please let it be a one-off.

166 2 8 formations.png

We get off to an absolute flyer. Just 5 minutes in Brestois’ attack breaks down and we counter quickly. Zoun receives the ball on the left wing and cuts inside, playing a neat one-two with Phil Foden before stroking it into the bottom corner of the net. 1-0.

The scores are level 10 minutes later though when Captiste gets turned by Mitrovic, who plays a give and go with D’Amico and then runs onto the winger’s long ball over the top. Mitrovice goes through on goal and drills the ball past Xavier Lenogue.

Pleasingly, we respond instantly, winning a corner within a minute of kickoff. Foden swings the ball in and it’s headed away by D’Amico at the near post, but the clearance only reaches Lamine Fomba on the edge of the box. The box to box midfielder takes a touch, lets the ball bounce and then absolutely leathers it in off the underside of the bar. 2-1.

The game calms down over the next 20 minutes and we look to be heading towards half time with our lead in tact, but in the 37th minute Ndao and Mitrovic dance through our defence with excellent passing and movement and then Ndao slots the ball through for Pelé, who’s escaped the attention of Celsiney and is cutting in from the left unmarked. The winger slots the ball past our helpless keeper to tie the game once more.

At the break I make a couple of changes and it’s a couple of the young lads that are coming off. Celsiney’s struggled and was probably at fault for Brestois’ 2nd, while Bassani has been completely anonymous out on the right. Samba comes into defence while Foden drops back to his favoured inside forward position, with McCarthy coming on to try out as a false 9. He’s technically good enough for the role so I want to see how he does and Foden should be able to help him out more from his favourite position.

The game gets back underway and immediately we’re all over Brestois. The match is being played entirely in their half, but after 8 minutes, Vidal’s tripped by Ndao and the referee to my horror waves play on. We’re over-committed and a slick counter attacking move ends with Pelé pulling the ball back for Ndao, who finishes it coolly.

We build up our attacking mentality more and more as the 2nd half progresses, first looking to control and then looking to go for the jugular. We can’t find a way back even when Ferhat replaces Vidal in an attacking 4-2-4 system though and the closest we go is in the 90th minute, when a good through ball from Fomba is latched onto by Foden, who smashes the ball against the bar. Our umpteenth even loss of the season.

166 2 9 post

This has not been a good week. We were in such a good position 2 games ago but now, although we’re still sat in 17th, we’re 5 points away from Bourg in 16th. Looks like we’re going to do this the hard way after all.

166 3 1 league

Mini-sode 166.5 >

Raiders of Lenogue’s Arms (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep165)

All systems full power!!!

Side Note: If you’re checking back for ep166 I’m putting it back a week. Turns out the World Cup really eats away at your time and fitting the story in between watching games last week was a challenge! I’ll be back next week when there’s fewer games on.

Sidenote to the sidenote: I’m writing this a few hours after the Panama win so I’m obviously convinced at this point that football is in fact coming home. Come on England 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿

Start from the start with episode 1

< Episode 164

“Well, what did you tell them?”

“I told them ‘No’,” I laugh. “What do you think I told them?” Crouch looks disappointed.

“Hull City though, boss. They’re a big club. A Premier League club.”

“Crouchie, if all I wanted was any Premier League job, I would’ve gone already wouldn’t I? I would’ve interviewed at Middlesborough in the Summer. I want to shoot a bit higher than that.” I furrow my brow in concern. “What’s the matter, are you homesick or something?”

“Not homesick, no. You know, it’d just be nice to go home and climb through the Premier League.”

“Yeah, it will be eventually. But we’ve still got work to do here, haven’t we. And besides, they’ve just sacked Bilic for leaving them in 15th! 15th! Hull! What are they expecting? For me to come in and do a Leicester? There’s ambition and then there’s common sense, they’d sack me within a year over there if they’re trigger happy enough to twist on 15.”

It’s true. Even if I was interested in moving to the Premier League right now, the fact that Hull have sacked a perfectly good manager whilst hovering fairly comfortably above the relegation zone has put a massive red warning sign over the job for me. No, I’ll stick with Auxerre thanks Mr Beard.

165 1 8 hull interview.png

Our 3 successive 1-0 wins have left my squad in a pretty good mood, even if 2 of them were scraped against Ligue 2 clubs. I make good on my promise of fining Faouzi Hikem for his moronic 2 footer in the Chamois match and he accepts my decision without argument.

My hunch was correct too: Paris Saint-Germain do indeed proceed to the 11th round of the French Cup with a 3-1 win over lowly FC Sète. They’ll face us next in the Cup.

It’s a good week for Alex Makengo, who made his debut in our extra time win over Créteil and has now turned professional. It’s nice to have a promising new option on the wings.

165 1 7 makengo turns pro.png

I have to call Fethiyespor manager Mustafa Uğur though and give him in earful over the loan deal of another young Auxerre player: Despite impressing in his first season on loan with the Turkish side, Paul Lefevre has yet to feature at all in his second term. To his credit Mustafa promises to give him more football, but I’ll be keeping an eye on the situation.

Fabien McCarthy’s chosen an incredibly strange time to drop his concerns over his lack of playing time, having been off at the AFCON since the winter break. He’s still going to be out for a couple more weeks with his injury too so it remains to be seen whether he’ll be able to break back into a team who for the time being are in good form.

165 1 4 mccarthy happy.png

And speaking of AFCON, it’s finally over so we can get our players back. Nigeria were the eventual winners, with Zoun’s Burkina Faso stumbling at the group stages and McCarthy’s South Africa falling in the first knockout round to Algeria.

Screen Shot 2018-06-21 at 21.10.13

Thanks to our cup matches we’ve slipped back into the relegation zone. We’re 19th but we do have a game in hand over the teams around us. Actually if we win today’s home game against Saint-Étienne and their newly appointed manager Claude Makélélé, we could leapfrog 4 teams including Bourg-en-Bresse.

165 1 12 preview.png

I’m not sure what to expect from Étienne here. Claude’s come in and drawn his first 2 matches using a 4-2-3-1 in 1 and a 1-2-2-3-2 in the other. I’m airing on the side of caution because I don’t want to risk losing our momentum. We’ll play Project: Burnie Mk V (Full Back Edition) in case they do start with attacking wingers. Hikem’s obviously suspended and will be joined in the stands by Sissako, who picked up a 3rd yellow card in 10 last match. Billy and Fomba come in as like for like replacements. With AFCON being over, Zoun makes the bench.

165 1 13 formations.png

In the first half hour, we’re nearly undone twice in quick succession by striker Amang. First he swings in a cross from the right that glides right through and hits the far post, and then he gets on the end of a driven cross from Peybernes but can only glance a header against the near post. We’re lucky to be on level terms at half time. At the break we go on the counter and I release my full backs as we’re looking very narrow and could do with them overlapping and providing width. I also bring on Zoun for a comeback appearance. He replaces Bassani and moves to the left wing, which allows Ferhat to go up front as a deep lying forward and Foden to return to the right where he’s more comfortable.

Just after the restart however, Claude’s men finally get the rub of the green. With my Auxerre team penned back in our own penalty area, Garcia lays the ball off for Pavelka and the midfielder hits a looping shot from 30 yards straight over Lenogue and into the top corner of the net. To be fair, it’s an excellent goal.

Makélélé being Makélélé, his side immediately changes shape to that defensive 1-2-2-3-2 formation and attempts to shut up shop. Knowing that we won’t be able to break down such a structure with the shape we we’re playing, I make changes too. We go to a ridiculously open looking 2-3-1-2-2, with our defensive triangle in tact, wing backs and Lamine Fomba running the show on his own from midfield. Nathan Andre comes on replacing Raf and joins Ferhat up front, while I swap the wide players around so that they can get down the wings and avoid the centre of the park where the visitors are heavy in numbers. I give the team only 2 instructions: Attack. Quickly.

165 1 14 formations 2.png

Just after the hour mark, we attack quickly. Samba bombs up the wing and receives the ball, whips a cross into the danger area between defence and goalie and Nathan bloody Andre pops up at the far post to end his goal drought by tapping the ball home. At last. His broken leg should be just around the corner knowing our luck.

With 10 minutes to play the game could still go either way. We have a heart-stopping moment where Susic breaks through and has a shot around the post and after that I bring on Makengo in place of Foden in the hopes that his fresh legs will give us an extra dimension on the left. I’m not disappointed. With just a few minutes left he wins a corner on the left and Vidal takes it, swinging the ball deep into the penalty area. Lamine Fomba goes to latch onto the cross – And is bundled over in the area by Lacroix. Arturo Vidal confidently places the ball perfectly into the bottom corner and sends the keeper the wrong way for good measure. For the last remaining minutes we waste time in a defensive 4-1-4-1 featuring Brahim Ferhat as an auxiliary ball winning midfielder. Saint-Étienne finally revert back to their 4-2-3-1 but it’s too late. We may as well carry the 3 points away in a big sack with a dollar sign on it.

165 1 15 post.png

That win takes us up to the dizzying heights of 16th place, above Nancy-Lorraine, Lille and Bourg-en-Bresse. The best part is that we still have a game in hand over all of them.

165 2 1 andre ends drought.png

I’m offered another interview in the coming days: Angers SCO, 3rd place in Ligue 2, lose manager Didier Santini to Nice and give me a ring to see if I’m interested. I’m not sure why.

165 2 2 angers interview.png

In the words of Luke’s Dad, now this is podracing. AJ Auxerre have won 3 matches in a row in the league and 4 in a row in all competitions! Somebody pinch me! Not you though, Girondins de Bordeaux. You can fear me.

165 2 4 preview.png

We’ll stick with the same formation for our trip to Bordeaux, but learning my lessons from last time I’m freeing up our full backs a bit from the start as we looked awful in that first half. We’ll play on the counter attack, Sissako and Hikem are back on the bench and Bassani bows out of the squad to be replaced by Nathan Andre, the man of the moment. The man who retakes his seat at the top of our formation and who’ll take us to new heights in this bloody league now that he’s remembered where the net is. Let them have it, Nathan! Both barrels! All systems full power!!!

165 2 5 formations.png

4 minutes into the match, Nathan Andre pulls up while dribbling and collapses on the floor in apparent agony. I can’t believe it. I won’t believe it. It is unbelievable. Even when the physios sprint onto the pitch I don’t believe it. Even when they lift the striker onto a stretcher I don’t believe it. Crouchie has to give me a nudge as they carry him down the tunnel as I’ve not prepared a substitute, due to my disbelief in it. Word soon comes back up the tunnel as I send on Zoun and put Ferhat back up front: A broken ankle. A broken ankle which will, say it with me now, most likely keep Nathan Andre out for the rest of the season. Fuck me sideways.

We soldier on for 20 minutes with no real action to speak of. A Pinha free kick and Foden shot are both easily dealt with by the respective goalkeepers but that’s about it. Just when I’m waiting for something else to go wrong though, Cervi dribbles into our box from the left and is felled by Captiste. The referee points to the spot and I consider walking down the tunnel, grabbing my trusty grey coat and flying home. But then I remember we’ve got Xavier Lenogue. Alex thumps the penalty towards the top right hand corner, but the big Martinique International dives to bat it away with a strong hand.

165 2 6 lenogue save 1.png

When Cervi crosses the ball in from the right 5 minutes later and Samba jumps unfairly and fouls Enner Valencia, conceding a second penalty, I once again consider scarpering. But bloody hell, Xavier does it again. Xavier Le God dives the same way to deny Fuch and Bordeaux. This man knows of my anguish. He knows of my pain. He knows how unfair and unreasonable this fucking season’s being and he’s not going to put up with it. I’m quite far away in the dugout as he makes the second penalty save so I can’t hear him over the noise of the crowd, but I assume he screams something like “Not on my watch!” as he palms the ball clear.

Screen Shot 2018-06-21 at 21.46.57.png

Bordeaux look rattled as we move towards half time and we so nearly sneak a goal in injury time when Zoun cuts in and fires a daisy cutter at goal, but Dimitrievski gets his body behind it and keeps the ball out. The second half is less eventful. Valencia rattles the crossbar, cementing the fact that this is just not going to be Bordeaux’s day in the minds of the players, and even when they change to a 4-4-2 we keep plodding along. Bassani, Sissako and Raf all come on in the latter stages to keep things fresh and we take a point home with us, courtesy of our man of the match shot stopper. If we took 3 points from Saint-Étienne in a sack with a dollar sign on it, we’ve escaped this one by swinging off a vine and climbing into a 2 man plane in the middle of a river while natives shoot darts at us.

165 2 8 post.png

165 3 1 andre

165 3 2 league

Fun Fact: This is a genuine extract from the notes I made after the Saint-Etienne match. It’s not a broken leg, but still. Go fuck yourselves, football Gods.

img_1104

Episode 166 >

Cup Run – Take 2 (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep164)

We could really build some momentum here if we play this right.

Start from the start with episode 1

< Episode 163

I remember when deadline day used to be fun.

Well actually I don’t. I remember the anticipation of deadline day being fun before my Managerial days, which was crushed every single window without fail by the inevitable lack of any movement or excitement whatsoever. Nowadays, and I’m sure I don’t say this far too often or anything, but my clubs don’t tend to have an awful lot of money, which means that deadline day has stayed a truly frustrating experience, without even the initial misguided sense of excitement and intrigue. There’s still a few days of the January window to go but I can already see how it’s going to go, thanks in no small part to Standard Liege and their 3 separate bids for 15 year old striker Loïc Maire, ranging from £87k to £140k. He could be a decent little player, so I’m considering setting up an auto-response email to their bids in which I’d ask them politely but firmly to piss off and leave me to mourn my recently crocked talismanic striker Hicham Aidir.

Joël Soumahoro’s sort of dropped out of the first team picture this season, having seemingly finally hit a wall in his ability to step up a level. He starts to make rumblings of unhappiness about his lack of football, but I set Captiste on him and he works his magic. I don’t know what to do with Joël at the minute though.

Having been dumped out of the Coupe de la Ligue on penalties by Toulouse last week, we can build on the subsequent win over Guingamp by starting another run in the French Cup. Today we host US Créteil-Lusitanos at home, the side that are 20th in Ligue 2. This should be a smooth passage into the next round, but of course football’s rarely that simple so I’m braced for the worst.

164 1 8 preview.png

In an effort to tempt fate as much as possible and because of our heavy fixture pileup of late, I’m making mass changes to my starting lineup. Only Xavier Lenogue, penalty saver extraordinaire, keeps his place in the team while the other 10 drop out for a rest. Brazilian-born right back Celsiney is 1 of 3 debutants to start today and lines up with Kakuba, Goujon and Billy in defence as we revert to Project: Meatloaf. Fomba partners Joël in midfield, while the other debutants, American Patrick Granger and local lad Alex Makengo, flank Nathan Andre behind lone striker Florian Ayé. Créteil play that oh so impenetrable withdrawn midfield triangle, so we’re going to attack down the wings to try and bypass it as best we can. Also with Captiste and Aidir both out of the side, I try and give goal-shy Nathan Andre a bit of a confidence boost by handing him the captain’s armband for the day. Incidentally, another one of our youngsters is on loan at Créteil: Amine Chassaing, the attacking midfielder who I once thought had such promise, has spent the season on the books for our opposition but he’s underwhelmed again and is unavailable for selection today.

164 1 9 formations.png

The first 10 minutes are promising: First plucky winger Makengo smacks a free kick against the visitors’ bar from the edge of the box and then Fomba finds Ayé just inside the area a couple of minutes later, but the striker’s effort is tame and easy for Descamps to catch. The first half on the whole is pretty eventless but Créteil do go close just before half time when Berthier slips a pass through for Caddy in our box. He gets a shot away but Lenogue parries it behind.

5 minutes after the break Fomba’s making a nuisance of himself, pressing and harrying the Créteil defenders. He’s rewarded by winning the ball from Bailly in a dangerous position and we work the ball across to Makengo on the left, who curls a cross in to the far post. Ayé dives to meet it, but can only direct a weak header into the keeper’s arms. The away side start to creep back into it over the next 15 minutes or so, finding joy down the flanks with our wing backs caught high up the pitch. Caddy finds himself with acres of space on the left and cuts inside to force a diving save from Lenogue, before being released through the central channel by Saut after the hour mark and having another shot deflected wide off Goujon’s outstretched studs. In response I restrict our full backs to deeper, more defensive roles and we’ll play a sensible controlling game, trying to work the ball into the opposition box. I also shift Fomba back into a holding man role to shut off the space in front of our defence and Andre moves forward slightly to partner Ayé at the tip of an asymmetrical 4-2-4.

90 minutes ends goalless and it seems about right. Both sides have had chances but neither really deserves to be leading. I still don’t make any substitutions at all as it was always the plan to give the first team a full match off. Florian Ayé and Nathan Andre have been particularly wasteful for us which does tempt me to go back on the plan, but after 25 minutes of deadlocked extra time, Fomba has a shot from 25 yards and it deflects off a defender into the path of Ayé, who toe pokes the ball into the net first time. We’ve cut it extremely fine, but we’ve got there eventually.

Screen Shot 2018-06-20 at 21.13.24

164 2 1 win.png

I’m pleased with that and I’m pleased we managed to scrape the result without the use of the more knackered players in the squad. What’s more, Celsiney, Granger and Makengo all had solid debuts. If I’m still here in the 2023/24 season, these are exactly the kind of lads I’ll be looking to blood into the first team.

164 2 2 makengo debut.png

164 2 11 pre match.png

With that win in the bag we march on in the cup almost immediately. The day after the transfer window ends we’ll play Olof Mellberg’s Chamois Niortais, also from Ligue 2, in the 10th round. We could really build some momentum here if we play this right.

164 2 3 draw niortais.png

The draw for the 11th round is made too and either we or Mellberg’s men will play the winner of the match between minnows FC Sète 34 and Paris Saint-Germain. Now, I’ve been crunching the numbers and if I was a betting man I’d probably edge towards Pep Guardiola’s team of global all-stars sneaking through that one, so we’re in the rare position of probably already being knocked out in the 11th round of the Cup before we’ve played the 10th.

164 2 5 draw

164 2 6 draw.png

We get through deadline day, still swatting away bids from Standard for Maire. Predictably we aren’t involved in any sort of transfer activity, although I do note with interest that French internationals Thomas Lemar and Adrien Rabiot make big money moves from Monaco to Man City and Barcelona to Monaco respectively. Lemar goes for a whopping £105M. To be fair, transfer fees being what they are nowadays and from what I’ve seen of him on international duty, he’s probably worth it.

164 2 7 deadline passes

164 2 8 roundup

We’re going back to using Project: Burnie Mk V (Wingback Edition) with our full strength side for the Chamois match after they enjoyed a rest in the last round. It’s so odd that this is my full strength side at the minute, but there you are. Lenogue’s in net, Captiste and Sohna are our centre backs with Samba, Vidal and Hikem in front of them, Raf and Sissako are in midfield while Bassani and Ferhat flank false 9 Phil Foden.

164 2 13 formations.png

As starts go, this isn’t the best. 22 minutes in, Faouzi Hikem loses his fucking mind and goes in 2 footed on Chamois striker Rocheteau on the right wing. It’s the kind of challenge where a straight red just isn’t enough, so I’ll be docking his wages and probably giving Billy a run in the team while Faouzi sits on the bench and thinks about what he’s done. Stupid lad. I like him, but I know he’s got shit like this in his locker and he needs to get rid of it. I’d rather not use a substitute this early, so Raf will slot in as a makeshift left wingback and Vidal will move up into midfield as a deep lying playmaker. It does the trick: Within 5 minutes we’re ahead when Foden chips a free kick in from the right wing and Sissako heads towards the far post. N’Diaye’s stood on the line but he turns his back as the ball comes towards him and it bounces in off his ribs. Shameful defending, but I won’t complain. 1-0.

On the hour, Chamois try to overload us by switching to a flat 4-3-3 system. I finally relent and bring on Billy for Alessandro Bassani. He goes to left back and Raf reverts back to his midfield role on the right side of a narrow diamond as we try to clog the middle of the pitch. Foden will play at the tip behind lone striker Brahim Ferhat. We’ll play narrow and exploit the flanks on the counter attack, where our wingbacks are instructed to make the most of the space the hosts are giving us by pushing high up.

164 2 14 formations 2.png

A minute later we have a hell of a scare though: Allagbé thumps a long goal kick into our half and Captiste misses his header, allowing the ball to bounce right over the top to leave Freitas one-on-one with Lenogue. He draws the Martinique international out of his net and squares for El Hajhouj, but the strike partner hits the ball against the post. We eventually come through unscathed.

164 2 15 post.png

I’ll take that. To say we had 10 men for nearly 70 minutes, that was comfortable enough. On we go into Round 11 of the French Cup to face Paris Saint-German. Or perhaps FC Sète 34, you never know… If they can beat PSG though I’m not sure I want to play them anyway.

164 3 1 win.png

Episode 165 >

Over The Moon, Under A Cloud (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep163)

Let’s book ourselves a place in the Final.

Start from the start with episode 1

< Episode 162

“I’m over the bloody moon that he’s here.” That’s what I said after arriving in Auxerre and watching Ruben Aguilar train for the first time. Those were my words. I came in and saw a rounded full back, a solid defender, a good attacker, a hard working, determined team player that was absolutely beloved by the fans. It’s a shame really, what’s happened since then. Ruben lost his place to Issa Samba, a player who at the same time as I was lauding Aguilar was considering his future at the club due to a lack of playing time at the arse end of Ligue 2. Samba rose to my challenge to impress me and the rest is history. He’s now starting every match for Auxerre in Ligue 1. Ruben’s unlucky in that sense. He’s mainly impressed me when he’s played, especially at left back in the latter stages of last season. At the end of the day though he’s been fed up with playing second fiddle for a long time and I’ve been left with no choice but to cash in on a player for whom I once had extremely high hopes. Ruben’s shuffled out of the back door under something of a cloud as he completes his move to Serbian Superleague side FK Vojvodina. Good luck, mate.

163 1 4 aguilar moves.png

In other news, Spalletti’s not taking the hint over Brahim Ferhat. He’s back from Roma with a £1M bid, rising to £2.6M. I negotiate as high as a deal that rises to £3.6M and I’m tempted to shake on it, but that’d still mean only getting £1M straight away, which would mean not replacing Ferhat until probably the Summer. We’re currently without Zoun too and if we end up getting relegated as a result, it’s not a very good deal at all, so I turn Roma’s improved offer down. I decide to offer Ferhat a new deal to end the speculation and he immediately signs. Good lad, Brahim.

Phil Foden makes the Ligue 1 Team of the Week after securing the 3 points over Ajaccio with his postage stamp free kick, which is a nice surprise. I think I got so used to our players dominating Ligue 2’s Team of the Week last season that I stopped appreciating it, but that’s definitely not been the case since the Summer.

163 1 1 totw.png

It’s Coupe de la Ligue Semi Final time and I’ve got mixed feelings about it to be honest. On one hand, I’m delighted with getting this far in the tournament, but on the other Toulouse away will be an incredibly tough game and if we do manage to get the win, an even tougher one awaits against either PSG or Monaco.

163 1 6 preview.png

Still, we’ve never shirked a challenge before and we won’t start now. Faouzi Hikem’s back in the starting line up in place of Billy, but otherwise it’s the same side that beat Ajaccio. Our recent fixture pile up is taking it’s toll fitness wise but we’ve got momentum and I don’t want to lose that. As always in this competition, in the case of a draw we’ll go straight to penalties. This time though we’ve got a confident Hicham Aidir in our side. Let’s book ourselves a place in the Final.

163 1 7 formations.png

The first half is ridiculously tight. Neither side manages more than a handful of shots and not a single one is on target. As ever I don’t want to rock the boat, so I keep things simple at half time and just encourage the lads to keep going.

12 minutes into the 2nd half, we go agonisingly close when Aidir releases Sissako through on goal. He’s one on one with the keeper, but cracks his shot against the bar. It’s a promising sign and it makes me optimistic about our chances, but just 3 minutes later something truly sickening happens. 17 year old midfielder Paul Atangana sticks a boot in to challenge Aidir on the edge of the Toulouse box. For a second, it seems like the only sound in the stadium is the snapping of bone as our striker collapses in a heap on the floor. I watch on with a lump in my throat as the physios rush onto the pitch and lift Hicham onto a stretcher. One of them turns to me and shakes his head as they carry him towards the tunnel, but he doesn’t need to. I already know the score. Everyone in the stadium does. Newly off the mark for the season and injected with fresh confidence, Hicham Aidir’s leg is broken and his season is almost certainly over. It’s the cruelest blow we could’ve received.

There’s a strange quietness to the match for a few minutes after the injury. I think everyone’s a bit shellshocked after that. What’s done is done though and as much as I just want to go home and climb into bed, I clap my hands together and shout some encouragement for the lads to pick the pace up.

With 20 minutes of the 90 to play, substitute Nathan Andre moves the ball to Foden on the right. Foden cuts in and passes to Raf on the edge of the area. I start to scream for him to shoot, but he lays the ball straight off for Sissako, who does try a shot but it’s blocked by Ferhat’s legs as our players start to get in each others’ way. Raf really should’ve pulled the trigger.

10 minutes later Andre’s still making things happen, this time springing Ferhat in behind the defence. The in-demand inside forward fizzes a shot towards the far bottom corner but Letellier gets across to palm the ball behind. Ferhat’s sacrificed not long after as I bring on Florian Ayé. He’s a decent penalty taker and as we enter the final minutes of the game it looks like we’re going to need him.

Andre pulls a shot just wide a couple of minutes from the end but it’s Toulouse who should get the winner. In the 91st minute a Bittante cross is cushioned down by Morales and Rotiball has acres of space in which to shoot from 8 yards out. He skies it and lets us off the hook. Penalties it is. Come on Xavier, work your magic.

Ramírez takes and converts the first, placing the ball firmly out of Lenogue’s reach. Vidal responds in kind and then Morales makes it 1-2.

Florian Ayé steps up…

And shoots weakly down the centre, straight into Letellier’s arms. Excellent.

Robitall…

Saved by Lenogue! He flies to his left and punches the ball clear.

Andre…

Scores! An absolute rocket into the top corner, good lad! We’re all square again at 2-2.

Bittante…

Scores.

Raf…

Scores! 3-3.

Obin…

SAVED BY LENOGUE! He blasts it straight down the centre and Xavier might just have bloody dragged us through once again by parrying it away.

Sissako steps up to win it. To put Auxerre into the final…

Saved. It’s a decent effort but the keeper flies to his right to keep it out.

Brunet…

Scores. The pressure’s back on us.

Captiste…

SCORES! You beautiful jedi dickhead. 4-4.

Rousseau…

Scores, right into the top left. Here we go again.

Hikem…

Saved. The penalty’s not the best: Mid height and slightly off centre. The ball’s caught by Letellier and our cup run’s over.

163 1 8 post.png

I walk out onto the pitch, forcing a smile as I clap Hikem on the back. He looks devastated. They all do. I’m proud of them though. Knocked out of the semi final on penalties is still a tremendous achievement for a team like us. “Unlucky lads”, I say, sounding as upbeat as I can as I make my way around the centre circle offering condolences. I don’t stick about for long though. After shaking the hands of Manager Jean-Marie Stéphanopoli, the Toulouse players and some of the staff, I make a beeline for the tunnel to find Aidir. He’s in absolute pieces, the poor lad. Sometimes in football it’s just not your year. I meant what I said last week though, I won’t lose faith. We’ll get his leg fixed up and if I’m still here in the summer we’ll try and get him back for a full pre-season and go again next year. Chin up, Hicham.

163 2 5 pre match.png

I feel a bit winded by the whole thing. I’ve always felt like we could stay up this season but a lot of that faith has been down to my belief that sooner or later Hicham would find his shooting boots and go on a run, dramatically firing in a late flurry of goals to keep us afloat, but that’s not happening anymore. He’ll be lucky to even set foot on a pitch again this season. What makes things even worse is that French International Nathan Andre’s now suffering a goal drought of his own. He’s gone 8 hours without scoring, so I have no idea where our next goal’s going to come from.

163 2 3 andre drought.png

It certainly won’t be from Fabien McCarthy as he’s had the audacity to become twice as unavailable to us as he already was, twisting his ankle at the AFCON and ruling himself out for 3-5 weeks.

163 2 4 mccarthy inj.png

We’re back to league football and hosting Guingamp today, so we’d better figure it out quickly. They’re safe in mid-table 10 points above us but are the kind of team we need to be beating if we’re going to climb out of the relegation zone.

163 2 6 preview.png

After much deliberation, I’m keeping Nathan Andre on the bench. He doesn’t need the added pressure of becoming our only hope for goals. Bassani comes into the team replacing Aidir and will go onto the right wing, while Phil Foden “leads the line” as a false 9. Phil’s been inconsistent this season but he certainly knows where the net is and he knows how to bring others into play. We’ll tweak Projecy: Burnie Mk V slightly to suit our new striker by passing the ball shorter and working it into the box with more patience. If Foden can drop deep to offer an option and then find a pass to either the onrushing centre mids or inside forwards to keep the ball moving, I reckon that’ll be our best chance.

163 2 7 formations.png

Phil has other ideas. Just over 25 minutes into the match, he drops away from Guingamp’s defensive line to receive the ball from Sissako. He’s got options for the pass, but he ignores them, spins on the edge of the box and places the ball right into the top corner. You selfish, cocky, brilliant little bastard.

That’s really about it in a quiet first half. Ferhat goes close to a second just after the break though, cutting in from the left and blasting a shot at goal that’s denied by a good save from Benítez.

With half an hour to play I rest Raf and Sissako, who’ve run themselves into the ground for the last couple of weeks and are showing it. Goujon and Fomba come on in their places. A few minutes later a great bit of Auxerre possession ends with another shot from Ferhat, but again the keeper’s equal to it and we remain only narrowly ahead.

For the last 15 minutes I bring Serge Bamba on for a rare cameo in place of Brahim Ferhat, who’s also flagging a bit. In the final minutes of the match, Lamine Fomba links brilliantly with Goujon on the edge of the box, playing a give and go before Goujon dinks the ball back into his path. Fomba unleashes a sizzling volley but hits it straight at the keeper, who parries it away as far as Bamba, but his follow up shot’s saved too.

163 2 8 post.png

In the end we really should’ve won by more than 1 goal, but considering the fixture congestion, goal droughts and injuries we’re dealing with, I’ll take those 3 points with open arms. Once again, big Phil Foden’s defied expectations and dug us out of the shit in an unfamiliar position. And do you know what else? He’s taken us out of the relegation zone.

163 3 1 league.png

Episode 164 >

Zlatan’s New Job (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep162)

Not that I’m bitter or anything…

Start from the start with episode 1

< Episode 161

“That’s 20 games without a goal for Hicham Aidir now, Franjo. Do you have faith that he can break that drought?”

“Of course I do.” I reply, slightly confused by the question. “Every player has a bad run. Even Pelé went 20 matches without a goal once.”

“Did he?”

“Well, probably.” I answer, to a chuckle from some of the press. “Look, the transfer window shuts soon, doesn’t it? If I had a striker that I didn’t think would score goals, I doubt he’d still be here, much less playing matches.”

“What about Florian Ayé then?” I pretend I don’t hear that one.

I’m not in the mood to let Hicham Aidir be put under any more pressure than he’s already subjecting himself to. I sat down with him again the other day and gave him a bit of a pep talk. He’s still convinced that he’ll score soon, which is a great sign. But then he’s seemed convinced for most of the season so far.

162 1 1 aidir drought

162 1 2 pep talk

Another of our attackers is the subject of some transfer speculation at the minute: Brahim Ferhat’s apparently a target for Roma and their boss Luciano Spalletti was in the stands for the Marseille game. He’s going nowhere though. At the minute he’s a first team player and I wouldn’t be able to replace him unless we got a ridiculous offer.

162 1 3 spaletti spotted

162 1 4 not selling

Brahim’s not the only member of our first team in demand either. Xavier Lenogue’s the subject of a surprise £210k bid from Southampton, but they too can jog on.

162 1 5 lenogue offer.png

Xavier’s agent Laurent Robert (Not that one) comes in and asks for a new contract for his client and to be fair I’ve got no qualms about offering one, so I do.

162 1 6 lenogue contract.png

And finally we get an offer I can work with. Serbian side Vojvodina make a £500k bid for Ruben Aguilar, which after some negotiation becomes £850k, rising to £1.5M with future incentives. The fans are going to be pissed off, but he needs to go and that’s a decent price. I accept.

162 1 8 aguilar offer

I’m coming up against a familiar foe at the Stade Abbé-Deschamps. It’s Zlatan Ibrahimovic, whose completely ordinary stint in charge of Valenciennes recently earned him the Olympique Lyonnais job. Now, not that I’m bitter or anything… I mean I would’ve turned them down for Auxerre personally but I would’ve thought they’d at least ask me over Zlatan “12 months experience of being mid-table in Ligue 2” Ibrahimovic. Anyway… Whatever.

162 1 7 zlatan

162 1 10 preview

Tactical whizkid (I know I’m one to talk, but shh) Zlatan still plays 4-4-2 like he did with his former club Valenciennes, so I’m tempted to go for Project: Burnie Mk III, but I’m going to stick with the newer Mk V despite our 0-4 loss against Marseille as I think we perform well with it. We’ll be without Arturo Vidal and Loïc Goujon as both are suspended, so Mike Kakuba and Raf are coming in, with Captiste moving forward into the base of midfield where he’s been training since the Summer. Lamine Fomba and Celsiney both make the bench, while Kakuba and Sohna line up alongside one another in defence for the first time in close to 18 months. We’ll play with a standard mentality but with a deeper defensive line to combat Lyon’s pacy front 2.

162 1 11 formations.png

Just like in our last match, we’re behind early on. Juanpi nearly opens the scoring when he hits the post after 6 minutes, but the visitors only need to wait 3 minutes more for a low Luchkevych cross to be turned in at the near post by Ríos. We go more aggressive straight away.

Both teams go close within the first quarter of an hour, first when Samba’s cross is cleared as far as Raf, who stings Lopes’ palms with a shot from the edge of the box, and then when Juanpi tries to place the ball into the bottom corner, only to have his effort tipped around the post by an outstretched Xavier Lenogue. A minute later though, Bassani passes short from our free kick about 30 yards out. He finds Billy in space on the left wing, the full back squares it and Ferhat boots in the equaliser from 6 yards.

As always, as half time approaches I’m happy for us to go in level and regroup for the second half. As so often happens though, we’re denied that luxury in the 43rd minute when Dakoutros’ corner is nodded home by Zinchenko. We change tact at the break instead, going attacking and adopting the offside trap instead of the deep defensive line we’ve been using. Foden also comes on replacing Bassani on the right.

Heartbreak arrives just 3 minutes after the restart thanks to Ríos, who taps in a drilled Dakoutros cross from close range to give Zlatan’s men a 1-3 lead. 10 minutes later, Zinchenko latches onto a great through ball by Raí and blasts a 4th into the top corner.

Miraculously though, we react. A great Auxerre move less than 2 minutes after Lyon’s 4th goal sees the ball move from Raf to Andre, who has his back to goal. He lays it off for Sissako, who chips the ball into the path of Foden and the Stopfordian pokes the ball home. Andre’s looking tired though so Aidir comes on for the last half hour.

5 minutes later we’re still playing some good football. This time it’s the substitute Hicham Aidir who holds the ball up and flicks it through for Sissako, who strokes our 3rd past the keeper. The atmosphere in the Stade Abbé-Deschamps is bouncing. We’ve almost pulled it back. It’s bloody 3-4.

For the last 15 minutes or so, Joël comes on for Raf. He’s struggled for form and game time so far this season but he’s still got that magic. If he can get us that 4th goal, he could really take off. As we approach full time we throw the kitchen sink at Lyon but they hold fast, rejecting us at every turn. With a few minutes to go though, we get a chance. Hicham Aidir chips the ball onto the right wing for Foden, who beats his marker to the ball, cuts inside and lays it back off… Hicham Aidir runs onto it on the edge of the box, pulls back his left boot…

“YEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSS” The next thing I know I’m sprinting, absolutely euphoric, arms outstretched and screaming towards our Moroccan striker. Scorer of the goal that completes our comeback to 4-4 and officially off the mark for the 2022/23 season: Hicham Fucking Aidir.

162 1 12 post

The press praise me for keeping faith with Hicham in the papers the next day. I’ll never lose faith though, you magnificent bastard.

162 2 1 aidir

162 2 2 aidir scores

162 2 5 record goals.png

Speculation over Brahim Ferhat’s future doesn’t seem to want to go away: Paulo Fonseco of Benfica was in the stands watching that one, but I’m not interested in letting him go.

Roma don’t care what I want by the sounds of it, because the next day they lodge a bid of up to £1M for the Algerian-born forward. We negotiate but stay pretty far apart on our valuations, with Roma willing to go up to £2M while I want closer to £5M. I won’t be able to replace him if he goes for any less because of the club’s financial problems.

162 2 6 ferhat offer.png

One player that is on the move though is Fabien Fonrose, who I’m selling out of pity more than anything as he’s never gotten near my team. £75k is enough to convince me to let him move to Boluspor. I hope they give you more football than I could, Fabien.

162 2 7 fonrose moves

Lenogue’s new deal is signed next, ending the weird Southampton links. Just under £6k per week is an absolute snip in my opinion.

162 2 8 lenogue signs

But Benfica aren’t as up for dropping the subject of Ferhat leaving as I am. Bizarrely they make the exact same bid that I rejected from Roma and aren’t up for negotiating. It’s a short phone call.

162 2 9 ferhat offer

162 2 10 pre match

Back to the football side of football though. With Hicham finally off the mark after half an agonising season, a Coupe de la Ligue Semi Final to look forward to and after a dramatic comeback from a 3 goal deficit, confidence is suddenly through the roof in the Auxerre camp. AC Ajaccio will be our opponents for our 3rd game this week and I hope for their sake they’ve brought their A-Game.

162 2 11 preview.png

I’m dropping the wing backs to full backs as the last time I used this system against a 4-2-3-1 we were torn apart by Marseille, so we’ve successfully come full circle to a 4-1-2-3. I also want the full backs to focus on defending after we’ve shipped 8 goals in 2 matches to see if we can stop leaking goals. Vidal, Foden and Aidir come into the first team to replace Kakuba, Bassani and Andre and we’ll play on the counter. Come on lads, let’s put this confidence to good use.

162 2 12 formations.png

We do! We bloody do! We get off the mark 27 minutes in when Raf slides in with an absolutely superb tackle to win possession and knocks the ball to Aidir. The big Moroccan brings the ball forwards, lays it back off for Raf and the Madagascan strokes it past the keeper to open his account for the season. We’re having a great week for first goals.

Aside from the goal, the first half’s very even though and both sides manage just 1 shot on target before the break. This being the case, the next goal was always going to be crucial, so when Phil Foden curls a free kick into the top corner on 54 minutes, I’m in bloody dreamland.

He nearly sets up another goal from a free kick with 25 minutes to go, but Samba’s shot is blocked by a defender. I bring Fomba on in place of Sissako as he’s knackered and we need to rotate a bit.

With 20 minutes to play, Vasseur stoops to meet Vincent’s cross at the far post and nabs a goal back for the hosts, but any thoughts of a comeback are squashed by our change to a defensive 4-1-4-1, with Hikem and Goujon brought on for good measure and Billy deployed as a makeshift left midfielder.

We hold on. We hold on just like Lyon couldn’t. In what could have turned into an abysmal week, we’ve turned it around with 4 points from 2 games and in doing so, leapfrogged Stade Brestois to move into 18th place. We remain in the relegation play off spot but only below Nancy Lorraine on goal difference. This has been an extraordinarily good week.

162 2 13 post.png

162 3 1 league.png

Episode 163 >

Tough Crowd (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep161)

I’m looking at this cup run as a chance to blow off the cobwebs

Start from the start with episode 1

< Episode 160

“We can book ourselves a place in the Coupe de la Ligue Semi-Final here lads, So-chaux me what you’ve got.” My solid gold wordplay is greeted with blank faces and a thick, deafening silence. Tough crowd. After a disappointing first half of my maiden Ligue 1 season, I’m looking at this cup run as a chance to blow off the cobwebs and get some confidence back into the side. We’ve already surpassed my expectations somewhat by getting to the quarter finals, but if we can get to the semis or even the final, that’d do wonders for the mood around the place.

161 1 2 preview.png

Sochaux have had substantial success so far this season and are still very much the division’s overachievers. They line up with a 4-4-2 but with 2 withdrawn central midfielders to really choke the life out of any potential attacks through the middle. We’ll be sticking with Project: Burnie Mk V today but are without the suspended Lamine Fomba as well as McCarthy and Zoun, who are selfishly off representing their nations at an International tournament. Mike Kakuba and Nathan Andre have thankfully shaken off minor injuries sustained over the break and are fit enough for the bench, while Isaac Sohna makes his 2nd competitive Auxerre appearance.

161 1 3 formations.png

The first half is as cagey and frustrating as you’d expect from 2 teams that pack the middle of the park as much as these. We go closest after 16 minutes when Foden’s free kick is nodded away but only as far as Brahim Ferhat, who chests the ball down and hammers it low, forcing a good save from Gauthier in net. We go a little bit more aggressive after 35 minutes in an attempt to control the game but the next chance is Sochaux’s. Lamboley steps in from the right and whips a cross in and Germain controls the ball well but skews his shot well wide.

On the hour mark the score’s still 0-0. Goujon’s doing his very best to change that though, first firing an admittedly weak shot straight at Gauthier, before trying a cross from the right that’s blocked by Bertrand. The ball bounces out to Abdoulaye Sissako 20 yards out, who takes a touch and slams it past the outstretched glove of the young keeper. We’re off. Also, Sissako’s off the mark for the season, which’ll be great for his confidence.

Bassani comes on replacing Phil Foden almost immediately and with 10 minutes to go we shut up shop completely, with Raf replacing Ferhat. Goujon slots in as a makeshift right midfielder, while Aidir sits up top as a target man. We defend resolutely and nearly even get a 2nd goal when Raf tees off Sissako, who blasts an absolute pile driver towards goal, but Gauthier tips the ball over the bar spectacularly.

161 1 4 post

161 1 5 win

161 2 5 pre match.png

That’ll do. A bloody semi final. That’ll definitely do. To make things even better, when the draw’s made we get by far the kindest one we could have: Toulouse FC, who are a great team but are not in the same bracket as PSG or Monaco, who face one another in the other tie.

161 2 2 draw

161 2 3 draw toulouse

We get a couple of loan bids in the next few days, firstly for Ruben Aguilar from KV Kortrijk, who clearly didn’t get the memo that our wantaway full back is either moving permanently or staying put.

161 2 1 aguilar offer.png

And then Gent make a loan offer for Billy, but it’s not an enticing one. Besides the fact that they aren’t sure they’d even play him, we’ve got a really packed schedule over the next few weeks and we really need numbers in the squad. Plus, Faouzi Hikem’s inevitably going to be suspended at some point because that’s just how he rolls.

161 2 4 billy offer.png

Now back to the League. Marseille are up next at their place and they have actually had quite a disappointing first half of the season themselves and currently occupy 8th position in the table.

161 2 6 preview.png

I’m taking Hicham and Phil out of the team and throwing in Andre and Bassani in their places, while Xavier Lenogue makes his 100th Auxerre appearance between the sticks.

161 2 7 formations.png

Within 16 minutes, we’re 0-3 down. I’m serious. 0-3. First, Matheusinho smashes the ball into the top corner under no pressure whatsoever, then Hirving Lozano cuts in from the left and curls the ball into the bottom corner, before doing the exact same thing 5 minutes later, straight after Ferhat has a perfectly good volley saved by Brice Samba at the other end. Things aren’t looking particularly good and they’re getting a lot of joy down the wings, so even though the game’s practically over already, I drop the wing backs back to full backs.

Brahim Ferhat has another couple of decent chances over the next 10 minutes, first shooting wide from 25 yards and then dribbling through the centre and hitting the target from the edge of the box, but Samba saves pretty comfortably. It seems that dropping the full backs has worked to some extent. Either that or Marseille just feel a bit sorry for us and are laying off a bit. In either case, we make it to half time at 0-3, which half an hour before I would’ve bitten your hand off for.

Unfortunately within 2 minutes of the restart, Lozano tees up Matheusinho and he hammers the ball into the top bloody corner again. For fucks sake. That’s that really. Bassani has a few long range shots saved comfortably by Samba and Aidir, Raf and Joël all make cameos, but this has been a disaster. 0-4 it ends and I can’t help but feel partially responsible.

161 2 8 post

In all fairness, I do think the scoreline flatters the hosts a bit. The quality in their squad (Or the lack of quality in ours) is such that they’ve been able to score from 4 of their 5 shots on target, while our 8 are all saved. Admittedly though most of them were taken from 25 yards out or more. Anyway, a loss is a loss is a loss. I’ve changed my mind, I don’t want a cup run. I just want 3 points in the league.

161 3 1 league

Episode 162 >

Still Here (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep160)

Let’s get this done.

Start from the start with episode 1

< Episode 159

Christmas is all well and good, but here in Auxerre we aren’t really stopping to celebrate. While many are stuffing their faces with mince pies, I’m hard at work securing my first signing of the upcoming January transfer window… It’s Alessandro Bassani on a new long term deal!

160 1 6 bassani new deal.png

… Well give me a break, if we had fuck all to spend in the Summer we’ve now got fuck all’s bigger, smellier and generally more aggressive brother repeatedly punching us in our collective goolies. I spent most of our year’s transfer budget on our £675k capture of Fabien McCarthy, who started slowly but to be fair has impressed me since coming back into the starting lineup a few games ago. Our remaining budget’s been used up and then some by Arturo Vidal’s £20k per week contract, so I’m not expecting any incomings in this window. If possible I’d like to offer Mamadou Doucouré a contract to sign for us in the Summer, but unless I can get that wage bill down it’s unlikely. A couple of outgoings would be OK, but I receive the news that Zoun and McCarthy have been called up to the Burkina Faso and South Africa squads respectively for the upcoming African Cup of Nations with mixed emotions. With our squad depth being what it is I’m not a big fan of the type of outgoings where we lose senior players for a couple of months for practically no money.

160 1 1 players called up.png

We’ll be OK though as long as we avoid picking up any injuries. My heart skips a beat when I overhear the words “Torn hamstring” coming from one of the physios, but upon further inspection, he’s talking to Corentin Tirard. Yeah, we’ll be fine as long as we avoid picking up any injuries. Actually though that is a bit annoying because it’s not like I hate Corentin, I just don’t have a place in my squad for him. I would have loved to have been able to sell him during this window so that he could go and get himself some football and we could balance the books slightly, but again it looks like that’s not happening.

160 1 2 tirard inj.png

What makes this extra annoying is that his contract’s not even up in the Summer. When I first arrived in Auxerre the winger was one of our top performers and only had a few weeks left on his deal, so I obviously tied him down. Now though, it means that he’s still got 18 months left and I’ve wanted rid of him for over a year, so I’ll have to try and flog him in the Summer. The players whose deals are expiring in the Summer are backup Keeper Bingourou Kamara, ever-surplus-to-requirements centre back Fabien Fonrose, our retiring holding man Vidal, want-away winger Adama Ba and Raf, who I’m torn on. I like Raf and he’s always been fairly solid for me when called upon, but he’s below Vidal, Loïc Goujon, Abdoulaye Sissako, McCarthy, Lamine Fomba, Joël and probably even the on-loan Chancel Kasongo in the central midfield pecking order, so I think it might be kinder just to let him go and play consistently somewhere, in Ligue 2 for example.

160 1 3 contracts exp.png

As usual I arrange a friendly against our reserves to keep fitness levels up and give everyone a chance to impress. It’s a really tight game this time, with Foden going close with a couple of long rangers and Aidir hitting the post from a Billy cross for the second string before eventually the reserves’ Mike Kakuba turns McCarthy’s cross into his own net to give the 1st team the win.

160 1 5 res friendly.png

Mike Kakuba by the way… And I’m not even sure how to break this… Has shaved his iconic mohawk. I didn’t even recognise him when he came back to training after Christmas. We might have a Samson situation on our hands though, because the day after the own goal he picks up an abdominal strain in the gym. Whether his mohawk was actually the source of his power or not we’re not yet sure, but I’ll keep you posted.

160 1 8 kakuba inj.png

It turns out that the Domino’s Ligue 2 gives out some awards for the calendar year, which strikes me as odd in a league where by definition most of the best players and managers won’t be there anymore by December. Anyway, I pick up the Ligue 2 Manager of the Year award, which by the looks of it I might be able to have another crack at winning next year, while the Player of the Year award is given to… Hicham Aidir. Yeah, he was good in Ligue 2 wasn’t he. It’s great to be reminded of that.

160 1 7 moty

160 1 9 aidir poty

The French best XI’s have been announced too by the fans. The lineup for this Season is almost identical to the one that I used in my first match against the Dutch, only with Kanté and Bakayoko out and Toisso put into midfield alongside Thomas Lemar. I don’t really blame the fans for shunting our 4 attacking midfielders into the same side but this looks a bit top-heavy to me.

160 1 13 other best 11160 1 13 other best 11 2

The overall best XI is a little different though, with Umtiti preferred to Laporte, which is a bit of a head-scratcher, N’Zonzi preferred to Tolisso and the retired Olivier Giroud up top replacing Coman, with Griezmann out on the right. It’s still a pretty good side.

160 1 12 france best 11160 1 12 france best 11 2

Then we have a bad day. A very bad day. A day that hits me like a tonne of bricks. Nathan Andre picks up a virus, ruling him out of the Sochaux match, and then Mamadou Doucouré breaks his ankle. He’ll miss 3 months. Arguably the most consistent defender of my Auxerre reign will miss over a quarter of the season. This isn’t good.

160 1 10 doucoure inj

160 1 11 andre inj

With only Captiste, Fonrose and Vidal at a push left as options at centre back, I’m calling for reinforcements. I hope you’ve made the most of your spell in Turkey Isaac Sohna, because I’m calling you up to the big leagues. The Cameroonian’s recalled as soon as the transfer window opens and could make only his 2nd competitive appearance for Auxerre when we play our Coupe de la Ligue Quarter-Final against Sochaux, having made his last appearance in our 2nd match of the 2021/22 season, when we beat Valenciennes using a back 3.

At the same time as I’m recalling Isaac though, I’m sending a few young ‘uns out on loan. 19 year old full back Brice Traore joins out Bosnian affiliate club Zrinjski, while centre back Rui Correia and winger Alain Kempf head off to join AS Poissy in the CFA.

Going back to Cup matches for a second though, we’re also given a favourable tie for the French Cup 10th round, provided we can beat Créteil-Lusitanos in the 9th, against either Yzeure or Chamois Niortais. It’d be an away match but I’d still fancy our chances.

160 1 14 10th round draw.png

Our 2nd and final friendly of the break sees us welcome Zenit St Petersburg to the Stade Abbé-Deschamps. Sohna and Aidir both start for us, while 16 year old American winger Patrick Granger gets a place on the bench. With Zoun heading off for AFCON, there might be room for him in the 1st team squad over the next couple of months. The match itself is a bit of a microcosm of our season really. In a very even game we’re undone on either side of half time by the superior quality of Zenit’s striker Mariano, who heads the Russians ahead from a corner and then wellies in a free kick. We don’t deserve a loss, but that’s what we get.

160 1 22 zenit friendly.png

We receive a couple of bids for fan favourite Ruben Aguilar in the wake of the match. Cagliari and Carpi both make offers that could rise to £650k, but I’m holding out for more. I’m prepared to let him leave if he wants to go but he’s been such a staple for the club for such a long time that it could turn the players and fans against me, so I may as well get a decent price for him.

Ba’s another man finally in demand and Mallorca offer him a pre-contract to join them in the Summer. He agrees to the move but as he won’t be playing here between now and then, I arrange a £50k fee for the Spaniards to take him off our hands immediately. Good riddance.

But of course, then comes the inevitable knock-knock-knocking on Franjo’s door. A lot of the lads are unhappy that the loss of Ba, who hasn’t played for us all season, leaves us light in midfield. After pointing out that we’ll be relying on our youngsters though, the mutineers embarrassedly shuffle back for the door, content with my strategy.

160 1 29 squad unh160 1 30 squad fine

With our Quarter-Final looming, I reject one last bid for Ruben Aguilar. It’s a loan offer from Zorya, but if I’m letting him leave he’s leaving for good. If we don’t get a serious permanent offer this window he’ll come back into the squad whether he likes it or not and I’ll boot him in the Summer.

160 1 31 aguilar offer.png

So assuming for now that Aguilar is going out the door, this is our squad for the second half of our season. It could certainly be stronger:

Goalkeepers: Xavier Lenogue, Bingourou Kamara, Hassan Derhem

Defenders: Issa Samba, Celsiney, Ed Bolton, Captiste, Mike Kakuba, Isaac Sohna, Fabien Fonrose, Mamadou Doucouré, Faouzi Hikem, Billy

Midfielders: Arturo Vidal, Loïc Goujon, Raf, Abdoulaye Sissako, Lamine Fomba, Phil Foden, Alessandro Bassani, Fabien McCarthy, Joël Soumahoro, Zoun, Brahim Ferhat, Patrick Granger

Strikers: Nathan Andre, Hicham Aidir, Florian Ayé, Serge Bamba

But let’s get this done. Yes we may look like a naive bunch of Auxerrois kids, yes we may not have the strength in depth or the experience that these other sides have, yes we may be without a striker capable of scoring regularly, yes we may have a midfield that runs hot and cold, yes we may have a defence that’s leaked goals and yes we may have lost our best centre back on top of that, but we’re still here, Ligue 1. We’re still in the League, we’re still in the cups and if we’re dumped out of all 3 over the next 6 months, we’ll be dumped out kicking and screaming each and every time. This isn’t over yet. There’s still some fucking fight in us.

160 1 33 build up160 1 33 build up 2

Banana Skin (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep159)

You couldn’t make this shit up, could you?

Start from the start with episode 1

< Episode 158

Side note – Just to annoy me, the Winter break has fallen after a Thursday episode, which is just horrible. Even so though I’m going to take a week out as per to get things sorted ahead of a busy second half of the season. Just the 1 week though as it’s a pretty short break. I’ll be back next Friday, which feels all sorts of wrong, but hey ho. See you then!

Videos of Auxerre’s shootout win over Nancy Lorraine go viral over the next few days, popping up on news sites and in football podcasts all over the world. Everyone’s talking about Xavier “4 saves” Lenogue. Even the bloody Ramble give him a mench, with Marcus Speller calling our Coupe de la Ligue progression “A lovely old job”. Speaking of which, the draw for the quarter final has pitted us against in-form FC Sochaux-Montbé, who’ve already beaten us in the league, so it’d be good to get our own back by dumping them out of the Cup.

159 1 1 draw159 1 2 draw

Today though we’re back to league football and looking to build off our 2 consecutive wins. Beating Lille, who are 2 places above us on goal difference, at Stade Abbé-Deschamps to make it 3 victories on the bounce would be extremely welcome and with this being the penultimate match before the winter break, I’m setting us a target of being out of the drop zone over the Christmas period.

159 1 4 preview.png

We’re practically unchanged from the team that’s won the last 2, with only Nathan Andre dropped as he’s been a bit of a weak link lately. I don’t think Aidir would benefit from a start right now so I’m giving Florian Ayé his first start of the season alongside Brahim Ferhat.

159 1 5 formations.png

We get off to a rocky start when Billal Slimani gives Hikem the slip on the right wing and chips a cross into the centre for Walter Herrera to volley in the opening goal. He has another chance half an hour later when he brings down a hoofed ball expertly, leaving Captiste for dead. The striker speeds through on goal but this time his shot’s straight at Lenogue, who catches it gratefully. We’re struggling going forward to I get the word out from the touchline to go more direct to the 2 big lads, to float crosses in for them and dribble less. I just want us to start moving the ball and hitting it up to the strikers.

At half time we’re still trailing by a single goal but I decide to take a bit of a gamble. Phil Foden’s not featured much of late and perhaps that could work to our advantage. He’ll surely be keen to impress. Phil comes on replacing Captiste and will work as a trequartista, dropping into space wherever he can find it and linking midfield to attack. I also tell the lads to abandon my instructions from 10 minutes ago. They don’t look impressed.

Keen to impress he certainly is. Phil whips quite a flat corner into the box 8 minutes after the restart and Lamine Fomba’s on hand to volley the ball into the roof of the net. With the scores level once again, I bring on Hicham for the last half hour, replacing the fairly anonymous Ferhat. A few minutes later, we win a free kick 35 yards from goal. Foden swings it into the box once again and this one’s cleared, but only as far as Doucouré, but his header at goal’s too weak and is comfortably caught by Luca Zidane. A minute later, Herrera’s down the other end, testing Lenogue with a snatched shot from the edge of the box. Our keeper’s equal to it though.

15 minutes before full time I send Sissako on in place for McCarthy to get some fresh legs into midfield. The last chance of the game falls for Lille though when they win a corner a few minutes from time. Pereira floats the ball into the box, Djuric nods it down, Trébel lays it off and Guillaume calmly places the ball into the far bottom corner. It’s cruel, but we should have defended better. After a dominant second half, we’ve blown it right at the death.

159 1 6 post.png

Luckily, I don’t get to dwell on that result for too long, as today’s the day that the Qualifying Groups are drawn for Euro 2024 in Italy. Now I know International football’s largely fallen down the pecking order, at least in my home nation, because of the amount of money being pumped into club sides (And the fact that until Summer 2022 England’s national side had been fucking awful for 2 decades), but for me it’s still the pinnacle. I can’t help but get excited by the prospect of an actual International Summer tournament that I’ll be competing in. Let’s see who we’ll be up against.

Group F

Albania (Ranked 51st)

France are obviously the top seed for the group with the next highest ranked side being Albania. I’ll be honest, I don’t know too much about them apart from the fact that they have a few decent players, including Napoli’s 28 year old right back Elseid Hysaj.

Screen Shot 2018-06-06 at 22.12.32

Bosnia & Herzegovina (Ranked 59th)

Not too far behind in the World rankings are Bosnia, who I know a little bit more about, having seen them in a few International tournaments. They too have some decent players, the pick of whom are Miralem Pjanic of Juve and Sead Kolasinac of Mönchengladbach.

Screen Shot 2018-06-06 at 22.12.52

Georgia (Ranked 62nd)

Georgia too are in a similar league to the previous 2 nations. I remember playing them way back in the Summer of 2020 when my Liechtenstein got thrashed back to back by Georgia, Estonia and Avram Grant’s Wales. 2 and a half years on, I’m looking forward to the opportunity of exacting a bit of revenge.

Screen Shot 2018-06-06 at 22.13.17

Liechtenstein (Ranked 166th)

Of course. Just… Of course. You couldn’t make this shit up, could you? On one hand, I’ll enjoy seeing some of the old faces and some of the people who gave me my start in International football, plus on paper we should absolutely obliterate the Liechtensteiner squad and there would be a certain satisfaction in finally being on the other end of that result. But on the other hand… This may be the biggest potential banana skin I’ve ever seen.

Screen Shot 2018-06-06 at 22.13.32

So there it is. On paper, we do have a pretty easy group and banana skins aside, I’m honestly delighted to have drawn Liechtenstein. I can’t wait to get started.

159 2 1 euro qual groups159 2 1 euro qual groups 2159 2 1 euro qual groups 3159 2 1 euro qual groups 4

159 2 2 quals drawn

159 2 3 easy group

159 2 4 pre match.png

Let’s get back to our last match of 2022 though: An away tie against Stade Rennais, who are sitting comfortably in 10th place in the league.

159 2 5 preview.png

I’m trying something a bit different for this one. I feel like having a sweeper and regista is a bit redundant and the 2 could be consolidated into 1, which would free us up to have more options in attack, so say hello to Project: Burnie Mk V. Captiste’s sweeper role is gone and I’m going to have Arturo Vidal play as a half back; A sort of auxiliary holding man/ 3rd centre back. I have noticed in the last few matches that he’s been caught too high up the pitch on occasion thanks to his regista role so this should tie him down more to a position in front of or in between the centre backs, where his lack of pace won’t be as much of an issue. Kakuba’s the man to make way so that Captiste can move back into central defence, while we’re also going back to having just 1 up front. The 2 spare men will be inside forwards, who’ll give us more width and numbers in attack, but will also give more support to the wingbacks when we’re attacking up the flanks. It’s reminiscent of a Conte-esque 3-4-3 and it’s interesting to note that we’ve come pretty much full circle back to Project: Meatloaf Mk II, only with a few tweaks. In terms of our personnel, Phil Foden and Alessandro Bassani back in the wide positions and Nathan Andre takes the lone striker role that he’s played very effectively at times, while Kakuba, Ferhat and Ayé make way.

159 2 6 formations.png

It’s a promising start too. Within the first half hour we go agonisingly close twice. First after 25 minutes when Lenogue’s long hoof up field is flicked on by the head of Fomba and collected by Andre. he dances past his marker and shoots, but Diallo manages to tip the ball around the post. That corner comes to nothing but a couple of minutes later we win another one… Which is cleared, but only as far as Vidal. Vidal lays the ball off for Issa Samba, who trots forwards 30 yards out and looks for a pass. Unable to find one, he absolutely hammers the ball towards the top corner, but again Diallo makes a fantastic save to keep the scores deadlocked.

It’s disappointing therefore that we go in for half time at 0-0, but it’s just as disappointing when less than 10 minutes after the restart, the hosts put together a good move that ends with Puscas laying the ball off for Tulissi on the right wing, who cuts inside and floats a shot across goal and into the far corner to give his side the lead. 2 minutes later we’re in danger of capitulating when Dovedan shakes off Samba and whips a cross in from the left byline. Puscas gets his head to the ball in the 6 yard box but Lenogue makes an excellent reflex save.

Zoun comes on replacing the disappointing Phil Foden with half an hour to play and moves over to the left, with Bassani coming over to the right. Both teams go close in the following minutes, with Hrosovsky trying his luck but ultimately shooting over from 20 yards. Our chance comes after a fine possession-based move with 20 minutes to go though. Bassani receives the ball in quite a central area and cleverly disguises a flick out to Samba, who’s overlapping down the right. Samba tries a cross but it’s charged down and blocked. The ball comes back to Bassani and instinctively he curls a cross with his weaker right foot towards the far post, where Zoun arrives to rifle the ball into the net. Those 2 touches from Bassani were absolutely magical.

Sensing blood, I bring Sissako and Aidir on for the last 15 minutes and hook Fomba and Andre. 7 minutes later we’re on the attack again and it’s another fine move. This one comes to Bassani again, who’s in a central position once again 30 yards out. He looks up, spots the run of Aidir into the box and slides the ball through to him. Aidir busts a gut to get goal-side of the defender and gets his reward – He’s bundled over in the box and the referee points straight to the spot.

I consider encouraging Hicham to take it, but after the last 2 penalties he’s taken, I think better of it. Arturo Vidal places the ball on the spot. He scored a penalty in the Nancy Lorraine shoot out. If he does it again, we’ll have an extra 2 points under the tree on Christmas morning. Vidal steps up, shoots low to the keeper’s left… And it’s saved. Well, Merry fucking Christmas.

159 2 7 post

It’s gutting not to win that one. I thought Bassani was excellent in the last half hour, McCarthy put in a fine performance and overall we were by far the better side, but once again it just wasn’t to be. We’re now officially half way through our Ligue 1 season and we go into the Winter break on 15 points from 19 games, which leaves us 19th in the table. Here’s to a far better haul from the next 19.

159 3 1 league

All But One (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep158)

I don’t know what more he can do.

Start from the start with episode 1

< Episode 158

The Monday after the Toulouse defeat is… Well, it’s bad. Have you ever seen Shaun of the Dead? The bit where they’re in the pub and somebody goes to turn the power on at the fuse box and when the lights come on they see the massive amount of undead clawing at the window? Yeah, that’s my Monday. I’m looking out through the window in my office door and all I can see is a queue, seemingly a mile long, of people clamouring to chew my ear off. Figuratively. Hopefully.

Fabian McCarthy, who has not had the impact that I hoped he would when I brought him in, is the first of the undead to wander over, moaning brainlessly as he writes “Give me more first team football” on the window with his blood-soaked hand. If he’d shown a bit more patience he’d see that he’s starting the next game because suspensions to both Sissako and Goujon have given me no bloody choice. And if he plays well he’ll keep his place because that is what I’ve done throughout my entire time in Auxerre, so his current lack of football is his own fault.

158 1 5 mccarthy unh

As I continue to watch through the door my eyes wander across to the clumsy, snarling figure of Ruben Aguilar, who’s stumbling through the zombie horde in search of a “new challenge”. He very graphically and unconvincingly rips out Dylan Moran’s insides and arranges them into the words “I want to leave Auxerre” on the floor, to which I tell him to fuck off to the reserves to share in all the fun that Adama Ba’s currently having on that particular adventure. I was going to play him in the next match too after Issa Samba’s recent poor form, but a want-away player has no place in my team. And I like Dylan Moran.

158 1 6 aguilar unh.png

Imagine my surprise though when the next set of hands to smudge viscera all over the glass belong to the ÖFB, also known as the Austrian Football Association. It’s a bold move trying to pinch me from World Champions France and I’m just a little bit insulted that they’d try, as if to say “Come on, you’re out of your depth there. Join us instead.”

158 1 3 austria offer.png

Hicham Aidir trudges in, hungry for brains like the rest. He could do with the brain of somebody who knows where the back of the net is though as he’s on a 14 match goalless streak. He’s still optimistic though to be fair and it’s good to see he still hasn’t crumbled. I certainly bloody would have by now if I was in his shoes.

158 1 1 aidir vows.png

Crouchie shuffles in afterwards, but he’s just here to let me know that we’ve drawn Ligue 2 side US Créteil-Lusitanos at home in the French Cup, which is very good news as we might actually pick up a win against them, something we’ve not achieved in 7 games at this point.

158 1 4 cup draw

158 1 2 poor form

Surely though. Surely our next match is the one. We’re off to play Dijon at theirs in the Bourguignon derby. We beat them in the CDLL 6 weeks ago, admittedly after Xavier Lenogue’s penalty heroics and if we can’t beat the side that are 20th in the league, then we deserve to go back down. If we can’t beat the only side that are actually below us in the table, then I’m off to find Auxerre’s answer to the Winchester, having a pint and waiting for this whole thing to blow over.

158 1 8 preview.png

For this Burgundy derby 6 pointer, we’ll be heading back to Project: Burnie Mk IV as Project: Meatloaf didn’t fare very well against Toulouse. I’m wary of Dijon’s narrow 4-3-3 so we’re playing on the counter attack and in terms of personnel, Kakuba, Ferhat and Fabien McMoany are coming in for Goujon, Sissako and Bassani. Vidal’s got a bit of a cold but he plays through it like the absolute pro that he is. Come on lads. Please. Please.

158 1 9 formations.png

We start well and don’t actually allow our rivals any chances of note in the first half, while we have a couple. The first, after 15 minutes, stems from Brahim Ferhat’s great little pass into the channel for Nathan Andre, who spins away from a defender and fires at goal, only for Néstor to swat the ball away at full stretch. The second comes 7 minutes later when Andre tries to repay the favour, again turning beautifully to receive a pass from Lamine Fomba and then stroking the ball around the corner for Ferhat to run onto, but he blazes his shot over the bar.

At half time I’m optimistic. We’ve been by far the better team and in something of a novelty for this season, every single player in our team looks solid and is playing well. Vidal and Ferhat especially have been absolute fantastic, with the former completely dictating the game from his deep position while the latter charges around the front like a bull in a china shop, desperate to make things happen.

The second half starts slowly but again we’re in control. Andre’s gone a bit quiet since his earlier promising spell and I bring on Hicham Aidir for the last half hour. It takes until the 69th minute for our next chance though and again it starts with Vidal, who spots the overlapping run of Issa Samba and picks him out. Samba plays it inside for Ferhat, who does his very best Nathan Andre impersonation and spins delightfully to receive the ball before releasing Lamine Fomba, who’s rampaging straight through the middle of the Dijon defence. The pass is perfect. Fomba’s one on one with the keeper 12 yards out and as the stadium falls silent in one of those glorious moments of collective anticipation, he draws back his boot… And toe pokes the ball past the keeper and into the net.

Screen Shot 2018-06-05 at 20.56.52

“Get the fuck in!” I feel like I leap my own height when the ball hits the back of the net, punching the air like I’d leant it my Mike Bassett DVD and it’d come back all scratched up. We’re ahead. We’re fucking ahead. All we need to do is not mess this up and we’ll secure our first win in 6 weeks.

10 minutes later, I’m punished for failing to spot the warning signs. Vidal’s been chucked into this team off the back of about 5 months as a free agent and then 1 friendly for the reserves. I’ve also played him with a cold today and 78 minutes in he is absolutely dead on his feet, not unlike one of the zombies we spoke about earlier. With 3 precious points in sight he’s caught in possession 30 yards from our goal and robbed of the ball by Yusein. My heart stops. There’s a massive gap right behind the Chilean and Yusein plays the ball straight into it for Diony to chase. The striker gets to the ball on the edge of the box and has a free shot at goal… And puts it well wide. Before I even breathe my sigh of relief I signal to the 4th official. This lad needs a rest. Raf comes on.

With less than 2 minutes of normal time to play Dijon are pushing for the equaliser, but Captiste intercepts a pass and hoofs the ball away down the centre of the pitch, no-nonsense-style. Ferhat judges the flight of the ball better than his marker, who leaps for a header and misses. The Algerian born striker drops the shoulder, takes the ball and sprints as fast as his legs can carry him towards the right byline. He could keep it in the corner and give us a rest, but somehow I already know he’s not going to do that. He’s looked so positive all game and he still wants to make things happen. As he reaches the edge of the pitch he looks up and sees Hicham “Please God, score” Aidir sprinting into the middle. Ferhat sends a low cross into the 6 yard box towards him… All he needs to do is tap it into the net… But Dijon centre back Thomas Fontaine dives in and does it for him. 2-0.

I head straight over to Hicham as the final whistle blows and put an arm around his shoulder. “Unlucky, mate. It just wasn’t your day.” I say. He forces a smile. I’m so conflicted. We’ve got a win. An actual win. 3 whole points. But there’s a special place in hell for people like you, Fontaine.

158 1 10 post.png

158 2 1 pre match.png

We don’t have much time until the next match; A Wednesday night Coupe de la Ligue 4th Round tie against Nancy Lorraine. With that win we’re still in touch with life outside the relegation zone and are behind Lille only on goal difference. Nancy are 15th, 4 points and a fair few goals higher up than us, but they’re not exactly doing well either.

158 2 2 preview.png

I consider making changes, but I’m not a big fan of changing a winning side. Vidal gets the nod as he looks fit enough to start, but I’ll be keeping a closer eye on him as the match progresses, looking out for any signs of needing another break. The 2 lads that missed the last game through suspension are back on the bench, but that’s about the extent of our changes. Incidentally, if you’d told me in the Summer that my “First team” at any point this season would have Goujon, Joël, Zoun, Sissako, Aidir and Foden all on the bench, I’d have smacked you rhythmically with a pool cue to the beat of “Don’t Stop Me Now” by Queen. I’m also quite sure that that’s the last reference I want to make to Shaun of the fucking Dead.

158 2 3 formations.png

We start brightly once again and within 2 minutes we’ve got most of the Nancy team backed into their own box. Vidal receives the ball on the edge of the area, skips around a challenge and tries to find a pass, but the chance doesn’t arrive. He’s tackled and the ball’s hoofed upfield on the counter attack and picked up by Koura. The striker draws the attention of both of our centre backs and then slips through his parter Collignon, who smashes the ball past Lenogue. That isn’t how I thought that move was going to go.

Half an hour later though we’re back on level terms and this time I don’t care that Samba’s drilled cross deflects in off Ngulamba’s foot. I’m glad of the goal whoever scores it. The rest of the match is tight and cagey and I bring on Hicham Aidir towards the end with another penalty shootout looming.

Arturo Vidal, surprisingly not looking too worse for wear, steps up to take the first one… And makes no mistake, fizzing the ball right into the bottom corner. Good lad.

Gedion Zelalem steps up for Nancy, shoots to Lenogue’s right… SAVED! Terrific start. Lenogue claps his hands together with a mixture of fury and relief as he steps aside for our next kick taker, Mamadou Doucouré.

Mamadou hits it… Saved. Ah, memories of his debut come flooding right back to kick me square in the bollocks.

Lenogue could keep us ahead though. Petre steps up, goes the same way as Zelalem did… SAVED AGAIN! Unbelievable stuff from Xavier. He played a huge part in getting us through the 3rd round and now it looks like he might be dragging us through all over again.

Fabien McCarthy steps up, eager to impress in the first team since his reintroduction. He’s been solid in these matches too, so good on him. Go on Fabien. Go on, mate. He steps up… AND SCORES!! Blasted straight down the middle. That’s how you do it. It’s 2-0.

If Gojkov can’t find a way past Lenogue his team are going to be under some serious pressure. He runs up to hit Nancy’s 3rd penalty… And scores. He cheekily chooses the same corner that his team mates went for, only this time Lenogue goes the other way.

Captiste steps up. Faithful Captiste. Loyal, brave Captiste. If he scores there’ll be no room for error for the remaining Nancy penalty takers. Go on, skipper. Captiste runs up… And hits the foot of the post. His head goes straight into his hands, but I stay dead still. We’re still winning. We can still hold onto our lead if Lenogue can do us another favour.

And then up steps Ngulamba, scorer of Auxerre’s equalising goal and largely the reason we’re still in this competition. This is his chance for redemption. Ngulamba shoots… FUCKING SAVED! UNBELIEVABLE! It’s a poor penalty to be fair, far too central, but that’s 3 out of 4 for Lenogue.

It all comes down to this. The 5th penalty. If we score, we win. If we score, we’re through to the next round. Come on, Hicham, mate. You can bloody do it. Hicham Aidir, without a goal in 15 matches, steps up, places the ball on the penalty spot and counts his steps backwards. He takes a breath, runs up, shoots to the keeper’s left… Saved. I sink to my knees. That’s the 2nd penalty shootout this season in which he’s failed to find the net. I honestly don’t know what more I can do. I don’t know what more he can do. I’ve not wanted it to be true, but maybe he’s just out of his depth.

Nevertheless, Nancy need to score to stay in it. Pokorny steps up across from Xavier Lenogue, who somehow seems to take up the entire goal. He’s like a fully grown man standing in front of those miniature nets that kids get for their back gardens. There’s no way past him. Surely there’s no way past him. Pokorny shoots with utmost precision towards the bottom left corner… BUT LENOGUE FLIES ACROSS HIS GOAL TO KEEP IT OUT!

Xavier’s immediately mobbed by team mates from on and off the pitch. They all run over and lift him up onto their shoulders. He’s certainly the man of the hour, single handedly pulling us through at Nancy’s expense. So why does this victory feel so hollow? I stand watching my jubilant team all celebrating together near the penalty area. All but one. What are we going to do with you, Hicham?

158 2 4 post

158 2 5 win

158 3 1 league

Episode 159 >

Bad Shape (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep157)

I’m not jumping ship.

Start from the start with episode 1

< Episode 156

“You’ll be alright, mate. You were alright last time and you’ll be alright this time. The mentality your teams have is your best weapon, they never stop fighting. Also fouling. They foul a lot. Too much really. But mainly they fight.”

“How’ve you done it?” I ask. I’d be a bit of a curious sight at the minute if anybody could see me, laid across an armchair in my flat with a flannel across my face, having a phone conversation that strongly resembles actual therapy. “I mean, I couldn’t have done more than a year in Poland, how’ve you lasted all this time?”

My former assistant Dennis Lawrence sighs. “I moved to the 2nd tier, got a team promoted and moved to a better side.” He says. “The Ekstraklasa’s like any other league when you’re not managing the whipping boys. It’s not as bad here as you think.”

“But I don’t want to move to a better side. That’d be like giving up on Auxerre.”

“I’m not saying it’s the only way, it’s just the way I’ve lasted.”

Dennis is no help. It’s alright for him and Jagiellonia, they’re well established in that horror show of a league, which itself is well established in the part of my brain that processes fear, pain, anger, frustration… Anyway, I’m not jumping ship. If I’m sacked, I’m sacked. I’ve surely built up enough goodwill here to prevent that though. If we get to the end of the season and get relegated I’ll let my contract run down and wish the club well and if we stay up… Well, who knows. For now though we’re in bad shape, having lost 5 straight matches. Nothing short of a 5-0 win in our next match will lift us out of the relegation places.

157 1 2 5 losses.png

There is a strange silver lining though. Both Phil Foden and Hicham Aidir are in contention for the Ligue 2 Player of the Year award. What a weird time to do this.

157 1 3 player of the year.png

Of course all that does is shine a light on how things have gone since our promotion from Ligue 2 for Hicham. He’s staying positive though.

157 1 1 aidir upbeat

I know that I’ve not exactly gotten fully into the spirit of managing the French National team yet with the whole “Team in danger of relegation” thing being my primary focus, but it’s difficult not to get excited when the European International League semi-finals are announced and we draw Italy. Now that’s a classic International match-up in all it’s head-butting glory. We’ll be playing the Italians after the domestic season finishes too so hopefully I’ll be in a much better mood by then. The final will take place a few days after where the winner of our tie will face either Spain or Portugal. Mouth watering stuff.

157 1 4 france v italy

With that to look forward to though, it’s time to get back to what is probably going to be an awfully long slog. This next match is crucial too. You know I said we’d need a 5-0 win to climb out of the relegation places? That’s because our opponents are 17th placed AS Nancy Lorraine, who are 3 points and 9 goals better off than us. I don’t actually expect that sort of scoreline but the 3 points would be awfully helpful.

157 1 6 preview.png

I’m opting for an unchanged Project: Burnie Mk IV and we’ll play on the counter as we’re the away side. I still have faith that this system can work once Vidal gets settled.

157 1 7 formations.png

Just after the half hour we take the lead! Sissako slips a pass through for Nathan Andre, who blasts the ball beyond Hortalin’s reach to put a massive smile on my face. I really enjoy the next 3 minutes too and it’s a good job, because after we fail to properly clear a Nancy corner, Anselmo shrugs off Captiste and thumps an equaliser past Lenogue.

Aidir comes on as a target man at the break. I’m hoping that by playing him in that role he’ll contribute even if he doesn’t score. Ferhat makes way after a quiet half. Unfortunately we don’t actually create anything more at all. Petre grazes the bar with a pot shot from the right wing, Foden comes on to try and give us a boost and Meïté gets a red card for tripping Sissako, but other than that it’s all quiet. We’ve got to count this as 2 points dropped, but at least our losing streak’s over.

157 1 8 post

157 2 1 pre match

Moving straight on, we’ve got a midweek visit from Toulouse to prepare for. If we can avoid defeat for the second match in a row I’ll happily call that progress, but they’re flying high in 4th so it’ll be a tough ask.

157 2 2 preview.png

I’m not going to hand them the initiative though. Toulouse play an extremely solid 4-1-4-1 with rapid wingers that can transition them to attack extremely quickly. I’m going to give a standard Project: Meatloaf a try as I fear that if I stick with Project: Burnie Mk IV our 2 strikers will be swallowed up completely by their defence and we’ll just end up under immense pressure. Kakuba, Goujon and Ferhat make way to accommodate the tactical change and are replaced by Foden, Fomba and Bassani. We’ll also be focussing our play down the left as they seem to do the same, so Samba will stay back and defend while Hikem has license to get forward.

157 2 3 formations.png

We start this one really strongly. Within the first 20 minutes, Fomba’s 25 yard drive’s parried by Gomis and then Bassani’s follow up’s also tipped round the post by the Toulouse keeper. The resulting corner’s cleared but we work it to Doucouré 25 yards out and he turns before unleashing an absolute thunderbolt of a shot against the bar.

We should’ve taken the lead and we’re counting the cost of not doing so 10 minutes later when a Bittante cross is glanced in at the near post by Ivanovic. He nearly makes it 2 before half time as well as our confidence starts to crumble all over again. Chang crosses low from the left and Ivanovic smacks the ball against the foot of the post.

We set out after half time with our heads held high and the hopes of pulling the scores level, but within 5 minutes, Candreva’s drilled corner meets Blin, who turns it through the crowd and under Lenogue for 0-2. Bloody hell.

With nothing left to lose, Goujon and Ferhat come on as we rearrange, with Foden moving back into his familiar right wing role and Vidal having a go as an enganche behind Andre. We’re going all out attack.

It’s no use though. I throw Aidir on too eventually but Toulouse pot shots are all that make up the rest of the match, with none of them even going close to adding to the scoreline. Oh and Abdoulaye Sissako really makes my day a lot better with 10 minutes to go by earning a 2nd yellow card for a trip. We’ve been much better than this in other games this season and been beaten by more goals, so I suppose we’ll just have to grin and bear this one. The phrase “One step forwards, two steps back” springs to mind though.

157 2 4 post

157 3 1 league

Episode 158 >

A Late Addition (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep156)

I’ve found him. And I’ve signed him.

Start from the start with episode 1

< Episode 155

I’ve been busy behind the scenes while I’ve been off with the France squad. Remember in the Summer when I went looking for an experienced head to sit in front of the defence, organise our very young team, give out bollockings or words of wisdom when required and just generally share his wealth of experience with the rest of the lads? Well I genuinely think that failing to sign somebody in that mould has contributed to our struggles so far this season. We’ve lacked leaders for everybody to rally around. Yes, Captiste is an influential bloke but this is unchartered territory for him too and he’s having to adjust himself. Aidir’s also a good leader but we all know he’s had his own problems to deal with. My point is that we still need that experienced holding man to put an arm around people like Aidir who are struggling and guide us to safety. The thing is… I never stopped looking. And I’ve found him. And I’ve signed him.

156 1 3 vidal signs

156 1 4 vidal

Former Juventus and Bayern Munich utility man and holder of 141 caps for his home nation of Chile: Arturo Vidal is an AJ Auxerre player. He’s bloody perfect. Massively influential? Tick. Fits into my team of determined and hard working players? Tick, tick, tick. Experienced at the highest level? A thousand times fucking tick. 35 year old Arturo, who can play in any outfield position and has been a free agent since leaving Bayern in the Summer, had already decided to hang up his boots in the upcoming Summer of 2023 and I had to spend a pretty penny to convince him to take one last playing role, in the end making him our highest earner on £20,000 per week, but I reckon he’ll prove to be worth it over the 7 months he’ll spend with us.

156 1 5 delighted

The first thing I do is get promising 15 year old midfielder Mathis Roux shadowing Arturo in the hopes that it’ll be a catalyst for the youngster’s development. The Chilean’s extremely out of shape as you’d expect though, having not played football for a while, but he makes an appearance for our reserves a few days after joining and impresses in a terrific 6-1 win over Châtelleraut that also includes hat tricks from Brahim Ferhat and Florian Ayé.

156 1 7 friendly.png

Going back to struggling players for a second, Serge Bamba has been going through a bit of a rough time off the field lately and his attitude has dramatically changed for the worse. He’s been very laid back and has approached training extremely casually. I sit him down and tell him I want to see him apply himself more and get back around the first team squad and luckily he’s up for the challenge. Good lad, Serge.

Hicham Aidir’s now gone 10 matches without a goal, but I’m so used to seeing him smashing them in for fun that it feels like 10 years since he found the net. Feeling like I’m on a bit of a roll, I sit the big Moroccan down and give him a pep talk too. Like Serge Bamba, he reacts positively, telling me that it’s only a matter of time before he starts banging the goals in. I like that attitude.

The Coupe de la Ligue 4th round draw is made before our next league match and it draws us against AS Nancy Lorraine. Like I said when we drew Dijon in the 3rd round, it’s not an easy draw but it’s nowhere near the most difficult we could have had, so I’m staying optimistic about our chances.

156 1 8 cdll draw

156 1 9 draw

First we have more league matches though. FC Sochaux-Montbé have been very much the overachievers so far this season in Ligue 1. Les Lionceaux were predicted to finish near the business end of the table with us, but they’ve won 6 out of 12 matches so far and find themselves in 4th place. Their confidence will be very high while ours is very… Not. This is going to be difficult.

156 1 13 preview.png

My priority for this game is to stop us conceding as we’ve let in a lot of goals lately. I’m going to try a counter attacking variant of Project: Burnie Mk III with Lenogue in goal, Captiste as a sweeper, Kakuba and Doucouré in defence, Samba and Hikem providing width either side of our debutant regista Vidal, Sissako and McCarthy providing legs and creativity in midfield and our hungry young strike-partnership of Ferhat and Andre up front. It’s your bog standard 1-2-3-2-2 formation really.

156 1 14 formations.png

It takes about 3 minutes on the dot for Sochaux to take the lead. It’s a simple free kick routine: Tomasevic chips the ball into the box, Santos nods it on and Facundo Ferreyra, who finds himself triple marked at the back stick by Samba, Kakuba and Sissako, somehow gets a free header and puts it past Lenogue. Oh dear.

We nearly equalise through Ferhat 8 minutes later but his low drive is tipped behind by Kitanov’s fingertips. Ferreyra also has a good chance after 20 minutes after powering forwards towards our area, but his shot’s weak and easy for Lenogue to catch. Luckily he’s back on form before the half hour mark: Bajric gets down the right and crosses it in and the Argentine lashes the ball ferociously into the top corner on the volley. With 10 minutes to go before the break, Hikem chips a cross in from the left byline and this time Ferhat must score. He rises well in the 6 yard box but glances his header wide of the far post. Sensing my mood, Crouchie instinctively goes looking for a water bottle that I can boot into next week.

Chances are at far more of a premium in the second half as Sochaux are happy with their lot and content to kill the game off. I bring Joël, Foden and Aidir on for McCarthy, Ferhat and Andre with 20 minutes to go and we finally push forwards with some good possession play in the final minutes, but our move breaks down and Sochaux counter. Their left winger has all the space in the world to run into and crosses from the byline, allowing Ferreyra to complete his hat trick with a glanced header. It’s by no means as one-sided a game as the scoreline would suggest, but Ferreyra has been clinical today. I’m not going to dig Ferhat out too badly because he’s only a lad, but he, among others, was absolutely not clinical today. That’s the difference.

156 1 15 post

156 2 1 vidal debut

156 2 8 pre match

At this point I’d take a 1-3 loss and an Aidir goal as a win. It’s been over 9 hours for the striker now and I could really do with him getting that confidence boost. The sooner he finds the back of the net, the better our chances are of beating the drop.

156 2 2 aidir vows.png

Ruben Aguilar’s unhappy again after barely having featured since his early struggles, but I set Captiste on him to do his weird, not-at-all-real Jedi mind tricks. It does work though and Aguilar’s happy to stay afterwards, so… I don’t know how he does it, quite honestly.

We’ve got a couple of new injuries too. Bingourou Kamara’s pulled hamstring isn’t that bad as we don’t need him urgently, but it’s Gaizka Basauri’s broken ankle that really stings. I recall him from Groupe Sportif Consolat, where he’s so far had a productive loan spell, so we can rehabilitate him ourselves. It’s a shame for him because I was hoping he’d develop enough in Ligue 2 this season that we could integrate him into our squad next year.

But anyway, Nice home. No, that’s not a thoughtful compliment on your interior design skills, that’s a description of our next match and just a really solid piece of wordplay.

156 2 9 preview.png

Nice have had a solid start to the season and play with a 4-4-2. I’m sticking with the newly renamed Project: Burnie Mk IV because I know for a fact we can make it work. We’ll play with a standard mentality and Goujon’s coming in to replace McCarthy in midfield. I want Vidal to be our main playmaker so we need defensive players and legs around him, hence Goujon.

156 2 10 formations.png

We’re under the cosh for the majority of the first half and finally go behind 5 minutes before the break, when Gaye’s drilled cross is turned in by Bosetti at the near post. We go on the counter after that to try and turn Nice’s momentum against them and it works to some extent. We definitely start to create more as we move into the second half of the match. In fact, in the 51st minute Hikem’s corner is missed by the keeper, the ball falls into a crowd of bodies in the area and Goujon manages to stab it home! It won’t count though as Captiste is judged to have fouled Nice’s keeper Cardinale in the build up. For fucks sake.

With half an hour to play Vidal, Sissako and Goujon work the ball patiently around the edge of the Nice box, before Sissako splits the defence with a perfect pass through for Ferhat. This time he really has to score. He has to. He’s 12 yards out, through on goal and has practically all of the net to aim at… But he shoots into the keeper’s gloves. We don’t equalise.

156 2 11 post

There’s only so many times you can make excuses for losses. “We kept hitting the post”, “How the fuck was that a penalty”, “They took their chances and we didn’t”. We’ve lost 10 matches out of our first 14 now and we need to stop. We need to turn it around. We’ve conceded 28 goals, which is 2 per match, which is the worst defensive record in the league. Vidal’s not been able to make much of an impact so far, but if he can smash the ball against Aidir’s arse in such a way that it ricochets into the net and gives our striker his first goal of the season, I’ll consider him a successful signing. Fingers crossed, because we really need something to happen. Anything.

156 3 1 league

Episode 157 >

An Unwelcome Distraction (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep155)

My thoughts are on Auxerre.

Start from the start with episode 1

< Episode 154

I’m quiet on the plane ride over to Marseille with Crouch, Bechkoura and the rest of my “Club and Country” staff. Crouchie tries to lighten the mood a few times but we’re all a bit somber. Jetting off to manage France is an unwelcome distraction at the minute to be honest. With no disrespect to Paraguay or Ireland, we’ll probably finish this break with 2 wins, so I’m not really thinking about or planning for those games. My thoughts are on Auxerre. We’ve got real problems at Stade Abbé-Deschamps. Maybe my critics are right. I shouldn’t be flying off to Marseille, I should be in the Centre de Formation, on the training ground saving my club. Saving my job. Maybe 2 managerial positions in this day and age just isn’t viable. Maybe, as Arsene said, it’s just unsustainable.

The France squad are all already checked into the hotel when we arrive. There’s only 1 new face: Kurt Zouma, who I’ve called up in place of Samuel Umtiti, who’s out with a double hernia. Young forwards Nathan Andre and Noé Guillot have been left out as I don’t think either of them are ready for International Football. Yes Noé’s already played in a World Cup final, but there’s no place in Project: Renaissance for somebody who’s pure pace and not a lot else. Kylian Mbappé, who pulled out of the last squad through injury and Nabil Fekir are back in.

154 2 2 france squad named.png

The press have been putting pressure on me to call up Francis Coquelin and drop N’Golo Kanté, but for now I’m holding firm. I like Kanté and so far he’s given me no reason to drop him. His usual midfield partner Tiémoué Bakayoko is carrying a knock but should be OK for the last EIL Group Stage match against Ireland at least.

155 1 4 preview.png

The first of our 2 games is a friendly against Paraguay at the Stade Orange Vélodrome. I’ll be experimenting a bit with the personnel in Project: Renaissance for this one. Madrid’s Alban Laurent starts in net with Tolisso, Zouma, Lucas and Mendy in front of him. Rabiot and Griezmann will start in central midfield as I’m curious how Antoine will fare running box to box, while Ousmane Dembélé, Thomas Lemar and Jeff Reine-Adelaide line up behind Anthony Martial.

155 1 5 formations.png

We go close a few times in the first 20 minutes. I say we but it’s mainly Thomas Lemar that goes close. He forces a good low save from Rolón, then he has another go, latching onto Tolisso’s long ball over the top but shooting over from a tight angle. Lemar then sends a corner in that Benjamin Mendy heads just over the bar as we continue to try and find the opener. It’s apt that our attacking midfielder plays a part when we finally do make the breakthrough. It’s Lemar’s free kick that’s swung into the box and Zouma’s brought down by Giménez as he tries to reach it. The ref points to the spot and Griezmann sends Rolón the wrong way to make it 1-0. It’s 2-0 shortly after when (Surprise surprise) Thomas Lemar blasts a free kick into the top corner from the edge of the Paraguay box.

The second half promises to keep the goals coming, starting when Ousmane Dembélé’s low cross deflects off Cañete and bounces in to make it 3, but after that it’s one way traffic in the other direction. Walter grazes the top of the bar after a Ríos through ball, then pulls a goal back after the same man pulls the ball across for him from the right byline. As I bring on some substitutes for a run out, Iturbe swings a cross in from the right and Díaz is ready at the near post to tuck in the visitors’ 2nd.

For a few minutes I am quite worried but all’s well with 23 minutes to go when a lovely flowing French move ends with Fekir playing Pogba into space in the box and our captain drills the ball under Rolón for 4-2. A couple of minutes later we have a little game of pinball in Paraguay’s box: Mbappé’s whipped corner is cushioned down by Bakayoko, volleyed by Kanté, blocked by Sosa’s diving header, volleyed again by Mendy, smashed off the bar and eventually stuffed into the net by Pogba for our 5th.

As we enter the final 15 minutes Paraguay get a 3rd when Sosa’s long ball over the top is taken down by Díaz. He shakes off Lucas and slots the ball past Laurent at his near post. Neither player has impressed me today to be honest. We do go close to a 6th goal when Pogba smashes a 30 yard free kick off the bar, then chips another free kick through the middle for Mbappé, who shoots just wide, and then again when Fekir goes close in injury time. In the end though the match ends with just the 8 goals scored.

155 1 6 post.png

Let nobody accuse this French side of being boring. I smiled all the way through that match. International Football should be more like this. More goals, more attacking intent, I mean for shits sake you’ve literally got the World’s best players playing for their nations and they often don’t get license to thrill and excite the fans. I get why it is the way it is though. Obviously International Tournaments are that rare that if you leave yourself too open there’s a chance you’ll get your arse handed to you and you won’t get another go for 4 years. Plus it’s very dangerous to throw caution to the wind when National pride is at stake, so it’s all very cagey, very tactical and often fairly disappointing.

155 2 5 pre match.png

I did an unwarranted rant again, didn’t I. Never mind, Paul Pogba’s just set a France record for picking up 4 Player of the Match awards in a single year, beating his own record of 3 in 2016! Nice one, Pog Man™.

155 2 1 pogba record

Our next match is our final European International League Group Stage match against the Republic of Ireland, held at the Matmut Atlantique in Bordeaux. The other team in our group, the Netherlands, have already played all 4 of their matches and sit at the top of the table on 7 points. We’re on 6 and with a worse goal difference, so anything less than a win today will knock us out of the competition.

155 2 6 preview.png

Poor Ireland on the other hand have taken just a single point from their 3 matches so far and I’ll be keen not to let them add to their tally. We’re going as close to full strength Project: Renaissance as we can, with Lloris in net, Corchia, Varane, Laporte and Digne across the back, Kanté and Bakayoko in midfield and Coman, Pogba and Mbappé behind Fekir. Let’s get this wrapped up.

155 2 7 formations.png

Similarly to the Paraguay match, we lay siege to the Ireland goal in the first half hour. Coman comes closest in the opening stages, latching onto Corchia’s through ball and shooting over from a tight angle. We take the lead after 25 minutes though when Fekir passes the ball into space on the left wing, Digne swings an absolute peach of a cross in, Mbappé heads it against the bar and Fekir taps in the rebound. Also similarly to the Paraguay game, it’s 2-0 a few minutes later when Corchia whips a cross in from the right and Coman volleys home from point blank range.

With the game effectively over by half time, it dies down a bit in the 2nd half. The fight seems to have been drained from the Irish and we add a 3rd in the 51st minute when Fekir plays a sneaky reverse pass through to Coman, who places the ball into the bottom corner of the net. He misses out on the chance to bag his hat trick with 15 minutes to play when Pogba cushions down an Mbappé cross from a right wing free kick, which Kingsley volleys just wide. Kanté and Hogan both have half-chances in the dying minutes but we come through unscathed without me having to make a single tactical or personnel change.

155 2 8 post.png

Job done. With that win we’ve finished at the top of Group 1 with 9 points out of a possible 12. We go into the European International League Semis along with Italy, Spain and Portugal. It’s interesting to note that Germany have been relegated from Group 4 at the expense of Portugal and Wales, too. I’m glad to get this out of the way to be honest. Our next matches with France are in March so we’ve got plenty of time to get Auxerre firing before we’re distracted again. Get me back on that fucking plane.

155 3 1 qualify

155 3 2 league

155 3 3 duty ends

Episode 156 >

Come On And Slam (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep154)

And welcome to Project: JAM.

Start from the start with episode 1

< Episode 153

“Right”, I announce, slamming my notebook on the canteen table and making Crouchie jump out of his skin. “What do you reckon to this?”

“What am I looking at?” He asks, flicking through the notes.

“OK, so you know we’re playing Monaco and PSG in our next 2 games? Well I didn’t fancy any of our systems to hold firm against them and I went looking for inspiration. It got me thinking about underdog stories and do you know which one I think we can take inspiration from?”

“Surprise me.” Sighs my assistant.

“Space Jam.”

“I am genuinely surprised.”

“Think about it mate, it’s so fucking obvious! The MONstars, right…”

“Are MONaco, I’ve got it.” He interrupts.

“You haven’t begun to understand this, Peter.” I snap. “So the Nerdlucks quite literally hoover up all the talent and become the Monstars so that they can beat the Looney Tunes and force them to work on Danny DeVito’s Moron Mountain, right?”

“Have you been up all night again, Boss?”

“Am I fucking right, Peter?”

“Honestly mate, I’ve not seen it in about 20…”

“That’s right, I am! PSG and Monaco are the Monstars, hoovering up all the talent and becoming massive favourites in Ligue 1. We’re the Looney Tunes! The underdogs! I’m Bugs, you’re… You know, another one. Is Foghorn Leghorn one?”

“Who’s our Michael Jordan then?” He asks. I think about that one for a second.

“Nathan Andre? You could argue he’s been our best player so far and he does have 2 first names.”

154 1 5 preview.png

Auxerre, who incidentally are the top club in France by a country mile in terms of producing Ligue 1 players, are playing Monaco away and Paris Saint-Germain at home in our next 2 matches. Project: JAM, or to give it it’s full title Come on and slam and welcome to Project: JAM, is designed specifically for use against Monaco and their terrifying narrow 4-3-1-2, which I felt would blow Projects: Meatloaf, Burnie & definitely Renaissance out of the water. It’s a system designed to make us compact and difficult to break down in the centre of the park with a sweeper, 2 centre backs, 2 defensive midfielders and a box to box midfielder. We’ll have defensive wingers to deal with overlapping full backs and a couple of strikers up top capable of grabbing goals on the break. Off the ball we’ll defend, play narrow, stand off our opponents to try to stop them dragging our defensive unit out of position and passing the ball around us, and we’ll be organised and disciplined. On the ball we’ll break quickly and play direct to the strikers.

154 1 1 development

154 1 2 jam shape

154 1 3 jam instructions

The line up? Lenogue in net of course with Captiste as sweeper, Kakuba and Doucouré in defence, Goujon and Raf, who’s making his 100th Auxerre appearance in front of them, Zoun, Sissako and Bassani across midfield with Andre and Aidir up front.

154 1 6 formations

Monaco fire a warning shot across our bow 3 minutes in when they counter attack from our corner, Vinícius Júnior runs rings around Doucouré but hits the ball over the bar. 10 minutes later we’re not so lucky. Jorge fires a flat cross into our box from the left wing, Doucouré’s beaten again, this time by Fabinho in the air and the full back powers a header right into the top corner. 0-1 Monaco. They get a chance to double their lead after 25 minutes when Mbappé connects with Bernardo Silva’s cross and heads it at goal, but Lenogue catches the effort fairly easily.

With half time less than a minute away, we’re defending admirably. With no way through the middle of us, Monaco are lobbing balls in from the wings, but they’re all being booted or headed straight back out. Just as I make a mental note to commend the lads on their resolute defending at the break though, the ball comes to Kylian Mbappé, he dribbles past Mike Kakuba and the referee points to the spot.

I stand for a few seconds in stunned silence before I actually realise what’s happening. A penalty. A penalty given against us in a match where we need all the help we can get and a penalty given against Mike Kakuba who didn’t do a fucking thing. Mbappé just went past him! There wasn’t even contact! There wasn’t even a fucking dive to make the referee think there was contact! I’m livid. I’m straight over to the 4th official, telling him what I think of his colleague’s decision. Crouchie quickly intervenes and leads me back to the dugout though, reminding me not to be a tit and get myself sent off. Fabinho places the ball into the top right corner from 12 yards, sending Lenogue the wrong way and making me tear up the half time team talk I had planned. I’ll be making a formal complaint about this ref. Dick.

We go on the counter at half time and will try to get forward more to get back into the match. It bloody works too with 10 minutes of the second half gone. Bassani swings a free kick in from the left hand side and Rico comes to collect it, but Goujon flicks it on leaving the keeper in no man’s land and the ball falls to Mamadou Doucouré, who absolutely rifles it into the net from close range. That’s 2 goals in as many games for the centre back now after 14 months without a single 1.

Screen Shot 2018-05-30 at 20.32.04

Unfortunately Monaco’s cushion is soon re-established when Lemar plays a simple one-two with Fabinho and slots the ball beyond Lenogue from inside our box. With 20 minutes to go I bring Brahim Ferhat on for Aidir and tell him to start closing down everything that moves. A few minutes later we’ve pegged them back again! Raf clumsily boots a corner towards the near post, Doucouré goes for it but Vinícius Júnior beats him to it, bundling the ball into his own net. A few minutes after that however, Júnior meets with a fine cross from Jorge and heads in Monaco’s 4th.

With 10 minutes to go I bring McCarthy on for Sissako to add a bit of creativity to the side, but the last lingering bit of hope I have is extinguished 5 minutes from time when Monaco counter from our free kick and Lacazette’s able to run clean through on goal and slot home his side’s 5th. It’s over.

154 1 7 post

154 2 12 pre match.png

I’m decently happy with our performance in the end and I actually think the final scoreline flatters Monaco somewhat. There’s not much we can do but take the positives from this one and trudge on in search of points. With the International break looming in the shadow of our home game against PSG, several of our players are called up for National Team duty, although none by France.

154 2 13 preview

As I say, I think 2-5 flatters Monaco a little bit, but we still lost 2-5 so my faith in Project: JAM has been shaken. This, combined with the fact that the system isn’t designed to cope with teams that use wingers like Pep’s Paris Saint-Germain, means that I’m changing the line up again. We’ll go with Project: Meatloaf Mk II, the 4-1-2-3 that has kept us relatively solid in the past. Samba, Hikem and McCarthy come in at the expense of Kakuba, Raf and our big, heartbreakingly goal-shy Moroccan Hicham Aidir. At a time when good news is at a premium though, I’m delighted that Phil Foden, who started the season so promisingly, is back in full training and fit enough for the bench.

154 2 1 foden back

154 2 14 formations

15 minutes in, we’re predictably under the cosh. Gelson Martins’ cross is cleared by Captiste, but when the winger tries again it’s Moise Kean who gets there and powers a header against the underside of our bar. The ball bounces awkwardly and Captiste, unable to clear his lines, knocks the ball into his own net. Oh dear. PSG hit us on the break with 10 minutes to play in the first half and it’s Gelson’s cross again that causes problems, but Kean’s poor shot is easily caught by Lenogue. In a repeat performance 5 minutes later though, Kean taps in his side’s 2nd of the day.

We go to Project: Meatloaf at the break with nothing to lose and actually put in a better showing in the 2nd half. I make a triple sub with 25 minutes to go with Foden, Ferhat and Aidir replacing Bassani, Zoun and Andre and seconds later Captiste breaks up a PSG attack and hoofs the ball up field for Brahim Ferhat. Ferhat takes the ball down on the left, cuts in and finds Fomba in acres of space on the edge of the box, but his low drive’s saved well by Donnarumma.

154 2 15 post

I’m not sure what I expected from these 2 matches. 2 defeats seems about right. We need to stop losing though. We’re currently 18th in the table, 4 points ahead of Lens and Dijon below us and only 1 point below 14th placed Lyon, so a single win would catapult us significantly up the table. We can’t get left behind by the teams above us. We need to win soon. We need to win now. Well, after the International break.

154 2 16 league

Episode 155 >

Hicham, Oh Dear (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep153)

This almost feels like momentum.

Start from the start with episode 1

< Episode 152

Adieu, Franco?

dc2

Rumours are circulating that WT Franco is in danger of being removed as head coach of the French National Team. In a recent online poll conducted by generic fan-site SacDeBille.fr, 55% of participating fans thought that Franco should get the chop, with some adding comments like: “How’s he keeping the France job if he can’t even keep a team up in Ligue 1?”, “Managing a club and country at the same time obviously doesn’t work anymore. #SackedInTheMorning” and “Just look at the Netherlands result, it’s clear he has no clue how to manage players at the top level or in top leagues!”. Franco’s certainly done his reputation no favours by staying with his club side, Relegation threatened AJ Auxerre, whilst also taking charge of France and results for both teams are starting to suffer. Time will tell how long he’ll be given to get it right.


“You wanted to see me, Boss?” Asks Crouchie, poking his head around my office door.

“Yeah, I take it you’ve seen this bollocks?” I ask, turning the monitor around so that he can see the article. Crouchie nods cautiously. “I want you to find out if Don Collins has French parents or grandparents. Who’ll be the one that doesn’t know what he’s doing when I send him on in a fucking France game?!” I smile at him expectantly, but Crouchie doesn’t smile back. In fact he doesn’t seem to share my enthusiasm for the plan at all.

“You want to call Scottish journalist Don Collins up to the French National Team to make a point that you know what you’re doing?” He asks. I pause for a moment. It does sound like my scheme has the potential to backfire somewhat now that I hear it out loud.

“Well what would you do if you were me? Why’s everybody talking about getting me sacked already? I’m doing my bloody best, aren’t I!” Crouchie shrugs.

“That’s modern management, isn’t it. I wouldn’t take it personally, it happens to everyone. You’re in the public eye now and people on social media want everyone sacked, don’t they.”

It’s probably a fair point. There’s not a lot of good publicity in football anymore unless you’re one of the few at the very, very, very highest level. For the most part the rule seems to be that the higher you climb, the more you get moaned about on twitter and 606 and all the other things that former Prime Minister Robbie Savage has ever touched with his greasy, banter-rific fingers.

153 1 4 preview.png

Anyway, it’s not just me that’s been on International duty for the last couple of weeks – A host of Auxerre players joined up with their National sides and most did pretty well. Zoun did especially well in Burkina Faso’s matches against the Congo and South Africa, while Raf struggled for Madagascar, but in all fairness he was shunted into the team as a right back.

153 1 2 int duty153 1 2 int duty 2153 1 2 int duty 3153 1 2 int duty 4

We do lose Ruben Aguilar for 1 or 2 weeks with a twisted knee, although he’s not featured in a few games at this point so we should be alright without him.

153 1 1 aguilar inj.png

We’re taking on Stade Brestois today at Roazhon Park, which they share with neighbours and rivals Stade Rennais. So far this season they’ve fancied a 4-4-2 so I’m bringing Project: Burnie Mk III for this one. This means there’s no place for Alessandro Bassani, despite him helping us turn around a 2 goal deficit against Bordeaux last time out. Even though he’s not playing today, he’s definitely back into my good books now after the whole Adama Ba thing though. The other 2 goal scorers Fomba and Andre do start in a central attacking triangle along with Hicham Aidir, who starts his first match since August. Also Fabien McCarthy’s shaken off his injury and is fit enough for a spot on the bench. We’ll be man marking their strikers as we often do in these situations, with Mamadou Doucouré told to keep the pacy Lamine Ndao in his pocket while Mike Kakuba marks the slower Fraty Miezi, who was one of the first players I let go as Auxerre boss because I didn’t like the cut of his jib or his lack of commitment to the shirt. Captiste will mop up any loose balls and our wing backs Samba and Hikem will mark their wingers.

153 1 5 formations.png

We get our first chance 15 minutes in when Samba throws the ball in to Sissako, he goes inside to Fomba and our budget Pogba plays it straight through to Nathan Andre. Andre’s close to goal but the angle’s wide enough to make him think about crossing instead of shooting and in the end he does that oh so frustrating thing of doing neither and just sort of booting the ball past everybody and well wide of the far post.

15 minutes later Sissako finds Andre on the edge of the box and this time he flicks the ball on for Hicham Aidir, who wellies the ball towards the top corner but is denied by a good save from Léon. I’ve noticed Lamine Fomba could be doing more to win the ball back for us so I tell him to start closing down like his life depends on it and 4 minutes later we reap the rewards: Fomba wins the ball high up the pitch, passes to Aidir, who helps it on to Andre and our form striker slots it in at the near post to give us a deserved lead. What’s more, Fraty Miezi needs treatment immediately after the goal, having had one left on him by Mike Kakuba a minute or so before. Good lad, Mike.

At half time we’ve had a healthy 16 shots to Stade Brestois’ 1 and we’re feeling good, but we’re forced to make a change when they restart the game in an aggressive 4-2-4 shape. The last time I tried to use Project: Burnie Mk III against a 4-2-4 we got ripped apart, so we drop our full backs and Fomba back into a flat 5-3-2.

We hold them at arm’s length for a while but Stade Brestois must have had some rollicking at half time because they’re desperate for the equaliser. 20 minutes into the 2nd half Bondi crosses low to Miezi on the edge of the area and he smashes the ball against the post. With 10 minutes to go Murillo’s cross is headed away by Kakuba but only as far as Ibrahima Sissoko, who controls the ball with his chest and hammers it against the bar. With 2 close calls in relatively quick succession, I bring Bassani on for Andre and we go to a defensive 5-4-1 with Goujon as a makeshift right winger, Bassani on the left and Aidir holding the ball up as best he can up top. With fresh solidity in the team, we see the game out to make it 2 wins on the bounce and climb up to 12th place in the table.

153 1 6 post.png

153 2 3 pre match.png

This almost feels like momentum but we can’t get ahead of ourselves. Bourg-en-Bresse are our next opponents and it should be no surprise that I’ve been looking forward to their visit. Before we get to that though Aguilar swaps out his boring old twisted knee for a shiny new strained wrist and will be wearing protective equipment for the next week, but he is available if we need him. We also lose Corentin Tirard for 4-5 weeks with a hernia, but unless Adama Ba’s “Wingers v Franjo” movement had picked up significantly more steam and turned all of my wide players against me, he wasn’t going to be anywhere near the squad anyway.

There’s a bit of a grudge match vibe around Bourg’s visit. I noted in the Summer that they’d overhauled their squad, spending £2.1M on a raft of new signings, so I can’t imagine this’ll be another 4-0 walkover like the last time we met. They’re sitting 3 places but just 1 point above us in the league, but with a worse goal difference, naturally.

153 2 4 preview.png

We’re lining up with Project: Meatloaf and reintroducing young wide men Alessandro Bassani and Brahim Ferhat, who’s back from injury. Captiste makes way after Kakuba’s impressive display against Stade Brestois, as does Aidir, who’s yet to get off the mark this campaign. I’m getting slightly worried about his goalless spell as we really suffered when he went through the same thing last year.

153 2 5 formations.png

I can hardly imagine a more perfect start to the match: 90 seconds in, Bassani marks his return to the starting line up by curling a 20 yard free kick over the wall and into the top corner. 20 minutes later it could be 2-0 when Andre gets the ball from Ferhat’s flick on and sets up Sissako with a through ball, but Fabri tips his toe-poked shot behind.

Quarter of an hour later, a defensive mix-up leaves Doucouré to mark both Attah and Fernandez. The former draws our centre back’s attention and slips the ball into the space for the latter, who has plenty of time to place it past Lenogue’s fingertips and into the net. As unimpressed as I am that Kakuba and the rest of the defence hung Doucouré out to dry like that, we should still be ahead with the chances we’ve had so far. That’s Bourg’s 1st shot to our 12th.

To my horror, Bourg score with their 2nd shot a few minutes before half time too: An awful loose pass from Fomba leads to a quick counter down the right wing, Tafaj pulls the ball across and Fernandez taps in his 2nd from close range. I can’t get over the appalling pass that lead to the 2nd goal and Fomba comes off at the break to be replaced by Joël.

In the first 20 minutes of the 2nd half Xavier Lenogue keeps us in the game by the skin of his heroic little teeth, pulling saves straight out of the top drawer to deny Fernandez and Jebbour. I bring Zoun on for Ferhat and get the word out to work the ball into the box as we attempt to find a foothold. Within seconds of his introduction, Zoun nearly gets us one as well, but his shot’s tipped against the post by the keeper.

With 20 minutes to go we win a free kick on the left wing and the optimism’s creeping in, but the set piece quickly breaks down, Bourg counter, Labidi whips a cross in from the left and Fernandez completes his hat trick. Shit.

Bassani goes close soon after, shooting wide after being picked out by Andre and McCarthy comes on for Sissako to give us a bit more creativity in the middle. A few minutes later Zoun barges forwards with the ball, passes to Joël, who slips it through for Bassani. The winger, who seems to be cementing his reputation as one of our brightest young prospects more and more with every match, tucks the ball in at the near post to pull the scoreline back to 2-3. Despite throwing the kitchen sink at Bourg for the last 15 minutes though, we can’t find a way to equalise. Needless to say I’m delighted with Bassani, but I’m less than impressed with the overall team performance and some harsh truths are dished out in the changing room.

153 2 6 post

153 3 1 fury

153 3 4 pre match

The fact that we’ve played just over a quarter of our season and have already been beaten by the other 2 promoted teams that we finished above last season is the kind of thing that’ll really scare the shit out of you if you think about it too much, so let’s just not. Alessandro Bassani wins a place in the Ligue 1 Team of the Week and I think we can all agree that that’s a positive thing.

Screen Shot 2018-05-29 at 21.09.11.png

153 3 2 totw.png

We’re taking a break from the league now and we’re facing Dijon, our division’s bottom side, in a Coupe de la Ligue Bourguignon Derby, or Burgundy Derby. This is a great chance for us to gain some confidence around the changing room and in the stands: A home game against a struggling rival in a competition that they might not even take that seriously.

153 3 3 build up

153 3 5 preview

Goujon’s suspended and will miss this match, while I’m dropping Samba, Hikem, Sissako and Fomba for their poor performances in the Bourg game. Bassani misses out too but again, that’s purely for tactical reasons. Dijon are another side that love a good old fashioned 4-4-2 so Project: Burnie Mk III comes back in, albeit with a few tactical tweaks. We’re using a slightly deeper defensive line and we’ll incorporate a sweeper to defend against Dijon’s very quick and powerful strikers. Captiste, Aguilar, McCarthy, Raf and Joël all start although Aguilar and McCarthy are lacking match fitness, while last Summer’s £10k signing Billy makes his Auxerre debut at left wing back. Versatile young American full back Ed Bolton’s recovered from an awful stint on the sideline with knee tendonitis and makes the bench today, while Serge Bamba and Fabien Fonrose could also feature.

153 3 6 formations.png

6 minutes in, Billy gets a surprise chance to bag a debut goal when Andre plays him in with a clever through ball, but the shot’s disappointing and easily saved. Luckily I haven’t selected him for his shooting. Similarly I don’t select Nathan Andre for his marking ability, but it’s still disappointing when he switches off at a Dijon free kick in the 17th minute, allowing his man Meguenni to tap the ball into our net completely unmarked at the far post. Nathan does redeem himself just 2 minutes later however when his 25 yard shot’s kept out by Leroy, but the striker gets to the rebound 1st and slots in the equaliser.

5 minutes on, we take the lead through a well worked set piece! Fabian McCarthy, finally starting to pay back some of that record fee, swings a corner to the far post, Mike Kakuba heads it into the 6 yard box and Mamadou Doucouré nods in his 1st goal in the white and blue. We’re gliding comfortably towards half time with our 2-1 lead until the 40th minute, when Faustin wriggles through on the left wing and supplied a low cross for Aguado, who knocks in his side’s 2nd.

Ed Bolton makes his debut at half time as Aguilar’s still shattered after his injuries, along with Florian Ayé, who makes just his 2nd appearance of the season in place of Ferhat. The 2nd half’s tight and tense though and with no extra time played in the Coupe de la Ligue, I bring on Hicham Aidir in the 87th minute so that he can score a dramatic late winner or at least a penalty. He doesn’t manage a goal in the last few minutes, so we head for a penalty shoot out.

The first 3 penalties are routine: Ayé, Abeid and Raf all knock their pens in to give us a 2-1 lead. When Meguenni’s subsequent effort is saved by Xavier Lenogue, the stage is set. Hicham Aidir steps up to open his account for the season. Hicham steps up to get that injection of confidence that’ll see him return to form and retake his thrown as Auxerre’s top goalscorer… Hicham Aidir’s penalty is saved. My head goes to my hands. For fuck’s sake. I don’t want to sound pessimistic but if he’s going to keep this up all season, we’re bloody doomed. The score stays at 2-1.

Fontaine… Saved by Lenogue!

McCarthy… Scores! Good lad.

Faustin has to score… Lenogue catches it!! Bloody hell, Xavier. Our keeper’s mobbed by the rest of the team after 3 penalty saves in a row hand us the win and send us through to the 4th round.

It’s another situation where I’m going to choose to see the positives in this performance, but the negatives are still going to niggle at me. Nathan Andre’s doing a brilliant job as our number 1 striker but I’d feel so much better if Hicham knocked a couple of goals in. Even if a clearance smacks him in the face and bounces into the net, like what happened with Andre a few games ago. Just something would be nice at this point. Hopefully he’ll be back to his best before long.

153 3 7 post

153 4 1 win

153 4 2 league

Episode 154 >

A Tale Of Two Trips (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep152)

Our match against the Irish is the first of 2 away games we’ve got this week.

Start from the start with episode 1

< Episode 151

Ah, the emerald isle. Ireland is a strange place for me as even though I can count on one hand the amount of times I’ve visited, I’ve got a bit of Irish blood in my veins from my great grandparents and it does feel oddly like a sort of homecoming as our plane touches down in Dublin.

Our match against the Irish is the first of 2 away games we’ve got this week, with our second European International League game against the Netherlands scheduled in a few days. As I briefly mentioned, the big talking point in the French media has been my inclusion of Auxerre striker Nathan Andre, who’s had his first call up off the back of a decent half season in Belgium and a good start to the new campaign for Auxerre. The press are dubious but I stand by my decision. Nathan could have a big future in French football. The only other change to the squad is the inclusion of Paul Pogba, who missed the friendly against Austria but has long since been back to fitness. I consider just swapping him back in for Noé Guillot, who replaced him for that friendly, but I want to give Noé another chance to impress me at some point so Adrien Rabiot misses out instead, along with Nabil Fekir. Rabiot’s unhappy with my decision, being a world class midfielder and all that, but I tell him I’ll put him in the next squad and he seems OK with that.

151 3 5 france squad.png

The biggest changes since I last met with the France squad have been behind the scenes with a dramatic revamp of my coaching and medical staff. Some familiar faces have joined me as I’ve brought coaches David Bechkoura and José Carlos Oliveira Santos and physios Frida Eklund, Julien Jarlier, Becky Knight and Jamanta with me from Auxerre.

152 1 2 staff before

152 1 3 staff now152 1 3 staff now 2

I saw in the Austria match the flaw of only having one strategy in Project: Renaissance. The non-world-class players struggled to get a foothold in the match and were bullied ruthlessly by a more efficient team. I have created a backup strategy in case such an occasion arises again but for now I won’t be using it. I’m going to use these 2 away matches to see how the first team does away from home using Renaissance.

152 1 8 preview.png

We set up against Ireland with the exact same team that beat the Netherlands so handily in Paris: Lloris starts in net behind a back 4 of Sidibé, Varane, Laporte and Digne. Kanté partners Bakayoko in midfield and Coman, Pogba and Mbappé will weave around Griezmann up front. We should have these. I hope the home fans aren’t still mad about that Thierry Henry goal.

152 1 9 formations.png

Turns out they’re still quite angry about it, yeah. I can’t blame them to be fair, it was a bullshit goal. The Aviva Stadium practically shakes with the home fans’ singing in the opening minutes. There’s one song about the Eiffel Tower and what the French and Thierry specifically can do with it, but I won’t go into detail.

They’re quickly silenced though. Before the 10 minute mark a diagonal ball from Sidibé is taken down masterfully by Pogba and teed up for Mbappé, who toe pokes it past Kelleher to give us the lead. Pogba nearly bags one himself in the 20th minute, applying the finish slightly too wildly after a superb move that starts with Lloris and ends with the skipper rattling the bar.

We do find the second goal 5 minutes later though. It’s a great bit of possession play in midfield that allows Sidibé to get into space on the right wing and Pogba sweeps the ball out to him. He tries a cross into the danger zone between defence and goalkeeper and Tyreke Wilson can’t get out of the way quick enough. The ball brushes off his shoulder and wrong foots the keeper, doubling our advantage.

Mbappé comes off after half an hour, feeling a twinge in his back. Not wanting to take any precautions and with the game realistically won, I bring on Thomas Lemar in his place. It doesn’t take Lemar long to put his stamp on the game either. We counter quickly after Bakayoko breaks up a semi-threatening move and Coman whips a cross into the very same dangerous corridor across the face of goal. It goes all the way through to substitute Lemar and he taps in our third goal.

It’s becoming clear that Ireland have no response to the sheer quality of this France side and we’re not about to shut up shop and save their blushes. We go close to a 4th goal before half time when Lemar’s corner is headed down by Bakayoko and volleyed from close range by Coman, but Alan Judge is stood on the near post to block the shot on the line. Unluckily for the hosts, he’s not there in injury time when Griezmann’s shot cannons off the base of the post and Lemar reacts quickest, tapping in his 2nd and our 4th.

A nasty looking collision between Robbie Brady and Djibril Sidibé results in both players coming off on the hour mark. Callum O’Dowda comes on for the home team and Sebastien Corchia comes on for us. Ireland actually score the pick of the goals with 25 minutes to go when Kanté heads Judge’s free kick clear, but only as far as Lynden Gooch, who takes the ball down and blasts it into Lloris’ top corner from 25 yards. Take a bow, mate.

I give Nathan Andre the last 20 minutes up front and make sure he knows there’s no pressure on him, but his debut’s quiet and the scoreline remains 4-1.

152 1 10 post.png

152 2 5 andre happy.png

152 2 10 pre match.png

It’s not ideal to lose 2 key players before the Netherlands game. Mbappé’s looking at 3 weeks out with a back strain and Sidibé’s dislocated his shoulder and will miss 6-7 weeks, which is definitely a blow for France, but it’s actually great news for Auxerre as we’ll be facing their club Monaco quite soon and we’ll need all the help we can get for that one. With my French manager’s hat back on though I call up Barcelona duo Rabiot and Ousmane Dembélé to replace the injured Monaco pair and we get to work on the plan for our 2nd match against the Dutch.

All going well, we can secure a place in the European International League semi-final today. I have confidence that with Corchia and Lemar in the starting eleven we should still have the quality to get another win.

152 2 12 formations.png

The Netherlands start the match quickly and terrifyingly. Within 4 minutes Buitink’s hit the bar twice and we are definitely lucky to still be level. Immediately second-guessing my decision to stick with the attacking and open Project: Renaissance, I move Kanté back into the hole in front of the defence to try and break up these early attacks from the Netherlands.

Our luck doesn’t hold out for long though. With less than a quarter of an hour on the clock, Ten Hove gets the ball after a Dutch free kick and dribbles down the right, where he squares it for big centre back Virgil Van Dijk, who slots the ball coolly into our net. This absolutely isn’t working. We go on the counter.

In the 27th minute Hendrix scores another for the hosts, flicking a Willems cross into the net with his head, but we respond soon after. Lemar and Coman exchange passes to move us up the pitch and then Lemar slips the ball through for Pogba, who slams it first time into the bottom corner for 1-2.

It’s no use though. 5 minutes before the break the 2 goal cushion is restored when Memphis chips the ball over our defence for Buitink, who slots it past the advancing Hugo Lloris. Straight from kick off we work the ball up to Paul Pogba again, who plays a one-two with Griezmann before smacking it against the inside of the post.

We stay as we are for the second half with the exception of Nathan Andre, who I give a full 45 minutes to in place of the so far practically anonymous Antoine Griezmann. The 2nd half’s much more scrappy than the 1st though and aside from a close miss from Memphis, neither side creates anything of note. I introduce Mendy and Dembélé in an attempt to spark us into life in the final third, but the game ends 1-3. My first loss as France manager and it’s of my own making.

152 2 13 post.png

There’s nothing wrong with failing as long as you learn something though. What I’ve learned today is that we need to use our second system, even the first team do when we’re away from home against decent opposition. The other thing I’ve learned is that Nathan Andre, as good a start as he’s had this season, isn’t ready to play a part for France, but at the same time Griezmann doesn’t look like a good fit for a striker in a more direct system like we used today either, so that’s another thing to think about.

Oh well, as long as we beat Ireland again next Month we’ll still qualify for the semi-finals. Until then, it’s back to Auxerre and a completely different set of problems.

152 3 4 league.png

Episode 153 >

Katowice 2.0 (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep151)

This might be the best chance we have for a while to turn our form around.

Start from the start with episode 1

< Episode 150

It’s been a difficult couple of weeks, I think that much has been clear. The atmosphere in the changing room and training sessions isn’t exactly somber but it’s noticeably quieter than after our opening day win over Lorient. That already seems like quite a long time ago. There are a few silver linings though: First of all Crouchie’s earned his Continental Pro License, meaning that he’s actually more qualified for my job than I am. Good job, Crouchie. I’ll get there at some point, maybe starting next Summer when the Ligue 1 revenue kicks in and the club can afford my course.

151 1 1 crouch license151 1 2 crouch

And secondly, the club’s training facilities have been improved to excellent Ligue 1 standard, which seems pretty minor but could actually be a huge moment in our season. The better our facilities are, the more our players can improve and the better chance we have of staying up.

151 1 3 training facs151 1 4 facs

We get the opportunity to bounce straight back from our loss at Guingamp with a Wednesday night home match against Nantes. This is a must-win. After 4 straight defeats we’re 19th in the league with only Nantes themselves below us. This might be the best chance we have for a while to turn our form around.

151 1 6 preview.png

So with that being the case I’m not messing around today. We’re serving a huge helping of Meatloaf for our guests, with Mike Kakuba making way for Zoun and Joël coming in for McCarthy. Both lads have had disappointing starts to the season and I’m hoping that this will be the day that they get going and recreate their form from last season.

151 1 7 formations.png

We should go ahead when Hikem’s corner is turned towards goal by Sissako after half an hour, but the keeper does well to keep the ball out. Just before half time we do manage to take the lead though when Nathan Andre skips away from his flat footed marker, picks his spot and fires the ball in from the edge of the box.

We go to a more standard mentality at half time and with 25 minutes to play, Raf comes on replacing the knackered Loïc Goujon. With 20 minutes to go though, disaster strikes: A Harit free kick is swung into the box, Ardaiz goes for the ball and Issa Samba very unsubtly shoves him to the floor, conceding a penalty that Harit puts firmly to Lenogue’s left to equalise. Aguilar replaces Samba late on as it seems like our usually reliable right back is falling apart to some extent and McCarthy comes on too, but we can’t find our way back into the lead. 1-1 it ends.

151 1 8 post

151 2 2 pre match

Don’t get me wrong, considering this is our first point in 5 matches it’s not the end of the World that we didn’t get all 3. Beggars can’t be choosers and all that. We once again have an instant opportunity to dispel any lingering feelings of disappointment though with a trip to Saint-Étienne just 3 days later. Although we’re 18th at the minute, the league’s so tight that a win here could take us as high as 11th, so let’s make it happen. Please let’s make it happen.

151 2 3 preview.png

We’re swapping to Project: Meatloaf Mk II for this one, with McCarthy coming in for Joël and Bassani replacing Brahim Ferhat, who’s been struggling of late, like 17 year olds will. With Zoun over on the left and Bassani on the right, I want our 2 wide players to swap sides every now and then and play as out and out wingers to keep Saint-Étienne on their toes.

151 2 4 formations.png

We’re behind after just a quarter of an hour. Captiste originally heads the hosts’ corner clear, but when Iturbe brings the ball down on the edge of the box and chips it invitingly into the mixer, Barba can’t resist smashing it into the net. 5 minutes later our day goes from bad to worse when Iturbe cuts in from the right and has a pop from 20 yards, smacking the ball against the bar and setting up an easy rebound for Alexandre to tuck away. With nothing to lose, we go Meatloaf after 20 minutes.

The next 10 minutes are ridiculous. I’m not joking or being hyperbolic, the next 10 minutes are actually batshit insane. It starts when Bassani gets away down the right wing and whips a cross in, only to see the ball cannon back off the post. Not that “mental” in isolation I realise, but stick with me. Less than a minute later McCarthy curls a corner in and Sissako rises to head the ball against the very same post. 5 minutes after that Bassani has a potshot saved and then with 10 minutes to go before the break, the young winger once again gets away down the right, once again whips a cross in and once again watches it come back off the post. That’s 3 times in 10 minutes we’ve hit the sodding woodwork. Luckily this time Toult springs into action and attempts to clear the ball but only succeeds in smashing it against Andre’s face, after which it bounces over the line and in. Ridiculous.

A minute after our goal, En Nesyri gets the wrong side of Captiste and hits the post himself, before we go up the other end, Samba plays the ball through for Bassani and his effort’s tipped over the bar by a superb reflex save. Andre and Zoun both go close before the break with shots from just outside the box but in what’s becoming something of a pattern this season, we’ve got nothing to show for our dominance.

We go 4-2-4 at the break with Aidir replacing McCarthy and joining Andre up front and it very nearly pays off within seconds of the restart, when Andre feeds Aidir and the Saint-Étienne keeper is forced to tip our Moroccan’s shot over the bar with another fantastic save. The second half’s quiet though. Fomba and Ferhat both make cameos but it’s another bloody loss.

151 2 5 post.png

151 3 8 pre match.png

Taking a very welcome break from thinking about yet another loss though, Auxerre as we know are a great producer of footballers, as is proven by the fact that we’ve produced the 6th most French National team players after Lyon, PSG, Stade Malherbe Caen, Lens and Metz. It does make me think though… I mean, I’m about to announce my France squad for the matches against Ireland and the Netherlands so this list of teams that produce National team players is completely in my hands. I could seriously skew those numbers, although I don’t think such a move would do wonders for my reputation.

151 3 1 leading nat team.png

151 3 9 preview.png

We’ll get to the France squad though. For now Auxerre have still got a match to play before the international break. Bordeaux are coming to town and I’m actually going to take a bit of inspiration from Project: Renaissance. We’ll be without Raf, who’s gone and given himself food poisoning, Captiste, who’s strained his neck, McCarthy, who’s twisted his ankle and Samba, who’s suspended. But this is where our Project: Renaissance inspiration comes in: As well as Aguilar, Ferhat and Kakuba, Lamine Fomba’s going to come in and start at number 10 as a destroyer/second striker, similar to Paul Pogba’s role for the national side. He’ll play behind our young striker Nathan Andre, who’s given more of a facilitator role like his International counterpart Antoine Griezmann. We’ve got just 6 on the substitutes’ bench as another clerical error means that a lot of the lads line up for the reserves a few hours before the first team match. In the absence of Captiste, Aidir and Samba, Mamadou Doucouré takes the armband as we try to end this horrible slump.

Oh and one more thing… After Nathan Andre’s excellent start to life in Ligue 1, I’ve put him in my latest France squad. In my defence, I want to pick my French side on form and Nathan’s scored 5 in 5 this season. To me that justifies his inclusion, but I can’t wait to hear the opinions of the tabloids…

151 3 6.5 andre.png

151 3 10 formations.png

The first half is every bit as action packed as it was against Saint-Étienne last week. Bassani goes close first after 10 minutes, trying his luck but just putting a shot wide from 25 yards. We start trying to work the ball into the box not long after. Half an hour in, Ferhat lashes a shot at goal but is denied by the flappy hands of Dimitrievski and from the resulting corner Ferhat’s cross is met and headed against the post by Sissako. Ferhat promptly gets the ball back and tees up Nathan Andre, who also hits the post, presumably because I murdered somebody in a past life.

To make matters worse just a few minutes after our double post-rattling, Pinho slips the ball past Kakuba, Schick sprints away from Aguilar and puts Bordeaux 0-1 up. 5 minutes and a pulled hamstring for Ferhat later, Pinho slips the ball in for Schick again, who makes it 0-2 for his side. I’m beginning to lose hope as the clock ticks towards 45 minutes, but then miraculously Fomba releases Andre down the left wing, he crosses to the far post and Bassani arrives to avoid the post entirely if you can imagine such a thing and tap in his first Auxerre goal.

Ferhat makes it until the hour mark but his hamstring’s giving him too much trouble and Zoun replaces him. A couple of minutes later, Bassani spots Fomba in space on the edge of Bordeaux’s area and picks him out. Fomba slams the ball into the top corner, remarkably pulling us level. With 22 minutes to go, Andre receives the ball from Sissako with his back to goal. As he turns, time seems to slow down almost to a stop. He fires the ball low and true from the edge of the box and as the ball ripples the back of the net, the most surprising and welcome of comebacks is complete.

Now it’s Bordeaux’s turn. It’s their turn to slump helplessly to defeat and it’s our turn to watch and laugh as they scramble to salvage something from the game. I can’t bloody believe it. I was starting to lose hope. Amath hits the post a few minutes after we take the lead but not long after I bring on Raf and we shut up shop. I breathe a huge sigh of relief as the final whistle blows. It’s another extremely dominant performance and for once, at last, we’ve actually got the win to go with it.

151 3 11 post.png

Episode 152 >

Youth Will Prevail (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep150)

Pretty Please.

Start from the start with episode 1

< Episode 149

A torn hamstring. Perfect. Not even 3 matches into our big Ligue 1 adventure, we’ve lost Phil Foden for up to 3 months with a torn hamstring. I’m actually a bit annoyed with Phil. His timing’s awful, tearing a muscle when he knows full well Adama Ba’s out of contention while he finds a new club. Suddenly we’re left with Zoun and the transfer listed Corentin Tirard as our only senior wide players and we’re looking really light.

150 1 1 foden inj

Luckily though, senior players aren’t all we have here in Auxerre. In fact I get a very timely reminder mid-meltdown that Auxerre are actually the joint best French producer of footballers playing in elite leagues, along with AS Monaco. Both of our clubs have brought through 25 players that are currently playing in the top leagues around the world. That’s how we’ll get out of this mess. Our academy grads will have to step up. Youth will prevail.

150 1 2 leading clubs elite.png

So as the transfer window closes I look through my reserves for reinforcements. What I want really is a left footer who can cut in and fulfil the same role as Phil, so why not young Alessandro Bassani, the left winger that was plagued with injury during my first year in charge?

150 1 3 transfer window roundup

I’ll tell you why not: Because Adama Ba is filled to the brim with rage that I didn’t let him move during the transfer window, even though his only option was playing sparingly for a Ligue 2 club, and is trying to lead something of a mutiny. His most vocal – Nay, only supporter? That’s right, Alessandro bastard Bassani. For fucks sake. So now I’ve got Tirard on the transfer list, Foden injured, Ba, who even if he wasn’t revolting has still lost all of my respect for the way he’s kicked off and Bassani who can absolutely get back in the reserves, having successfully set back his introduction into the first team by a few games at least. It never rains but it certainly fucking pours over there on the flanks, doesn’t it.

We do have some good news over the International break though: Mike Kakuba’s “Pulled a Corchia” and scored his first goal for Uganda, while Dennis Sundberg’s set us up with a new Bosnian affiliate club: HŠK Zrinjski Bostar. So that makes up for not even having enough natural wide men to organise a game of catch, doesn’t it.

AC Ajaccio are our next opponents in the league and they’re coming to ours, which in all fairness is one of the kinder matches we could have at this awkward time. Just as I’m starting to feel something close to optimism though, Abdoulaye Sissako strains his thigh in training the day before the match as a helpful reminder that this has been a really shit week.

150 1 13 sissako inj

150 1 18 preview

So some decisions need to be made. Firstly, I’m bringing out the Meatloaf. We need to be beating the clubs around us this season if we’re going to have any chance of staying afloat so I want us to plant an early flag here that we’re the best recently promoted team around. In the absence of Sissako, Fabian McCarthy’s going to make his full debut as our box to box midfielder. I’m leaning into our predicament with a radical new front line: Zoun drops out after a disappointing start to the season and Brahim Ferhat and Serge Bamba come in to make their full debuts on the flanks, while Nathan Andre replaces the equally disappointing Hicham Aidir up front and will make his first Ligue 1 appearance. I wince as I glance down the final team sheet. This isn’t what I thought my team would look like for the 4th match of the season. There are an awful lot of square pegs in round holes. But I think… No, I know I have confidence. Youth will prevail. Pretty please.

150 1 19 formations

With just over 20 minutes to it shows. One such square peg named Ruben Aguilar is drawn way out position and James Tavernier is allowed to receive the ball in acres of space on the right wing. From there he cuts the ball back for Robinet, who slots it into the net.

With around 10 minutes to go in the half though, we’re looking far more cohesive. A dangerous move sees the ball worked up to McCarthy 40 yards from goal and looking up he sees Tavernier leaving far too much space on the left. He waits for Aguilar, stood right next to the full back, to make the run into the vast expanse of open turf beyond him… We all wait for Aguilar to make the run… “Make the bastard run, Ruben!” I bellow, as Fabian awkwardly holds onto the ball in the middle of the park. Ruben finally steps forward, but it’s too late. McCarthy’s stalled for too long and is tackled. This, I think as I watch Ajaccio counter attack, Scarpellini cut the ball into our box and Vasseur power in the visitors’ 2nd, will not do. Aguilar, who if we’re being kind is only mostly culpable for both goals and has not stopped fouling since kick off, is replaced by Hikem with 7 minutes of the half to go.

That does the trick. Eager to impress in his first Ligue 1 appearance, Faouzi Hikem calms us right down with his presence on the left. So much so that just 5 minutes later we play the ball up the left wing, Ferhat cuts inside and passes to Andre and the striker fires us back into the game. This is more like it.

On the stroke of half time we’re looking good for a second. McCarthy spots Ferhat’s run inside, picks him out and the 17 year old moves the ball straight on to Nathan Andre again. Andre shoots first time and the ball’s surely destined for the top corner, but Riffi Mandanda pulls off a world class save to tip the ball against the bar. After such a rough start it’s encouraging that we’re unlucky to be trailing at the break.

Tavernier’s continuing to leave space at the right back position so we’ll target the left hand side in the 2nd half. This has the added benefit of taking some pressure off Bamba, who’s been anonymous so far. 5 minutes after the restart, Munoz slips a clever pass through for Robinet, but the striker wellies his shot over the bar. He evidently learns from his mistake though because when Jovane gets away down the right flank and chips a cross in for him, Robinet coolly applies the finish for 1-3.

With half an hour to go I throw on Aidir and Zoun for Joël and Bamba and we go to our usual plan B of a 4-2-4. The impact should be instant as within seconds Goujon plays a lovely pass down the line for Zoun to chase. The nippy winger chips the ball in from the byline and Andre lets rip with a volley from inside the 6 yard box… And hits the post. My head goes to my hands. Fortunately just like Robinet, Andre soon gets the chance to redeem himself. Once again it’s a nice pass from Goujon and this time a square ball from Zoun, allowing our young striker to slot in his 2nd goal of the day. We’re back in the hunt.

With just 5 minutes to play, Ajaccio have a corner, but it’s cleared and we counter! Andre’s the man on the edge of our box and he hoofs the ball upfield for Zoun. Dropping the shoulder, the Burkinabe winger leaves Tavernier in his dust, then skips past centre back Diarra. He’s through on the right wing! Ferhat and Aidir are arriving unmarked in the box! All he needs to do is square it and we’ll pick up a point! Square it! Square it, Zoun!

Screen Shot 2018-05-24 at 20.54.13.png

He balloons it over.

I’m not even surprised when McCarthy’s free kick smacks against the bar in the 91st minute, or when Andre’s denied a hat trick by a fingertip Mandanda save in the 93rd. Or when Ferhat’s follow up shot is deflected wide by a last ditch tackle. This has been a nightmarish 90 minutes.

150 1 20 post

150 2 1 andre

The one thing I’ll say is what a bloody Ligue 1 debut that is for Nathan Andre. The lad’s got potential aplenty and I think that for now at least, he’s just become my first choice striker. Moving on so swiftly that we all give ourselves whiplash though, the Coupe de la Ligue 3rd round draw is made a few days later. We get Dijon at home, which won’t be an easy game, but could be much harder. Maybe a decent cup run would renew some of the squad’s rapidly depleting confidence.

150 2 3 cup draw

150 2 5 cup tie

150 2 6 pre match

The following week brings us a trip to Guingamp, who’ve had a pretty good start to their league campaign with 5 points from 4 matches.

150 2 7 preview.png

Against Lyon I opted not to bring out Project: Burnie Mk III against a 4-4-2 in case it disrupted our momentum from our first 2 good performances. With no such worries 2 matches on though, I’m changing things around for Guingamp and their 4-2-4. The Serge Bamba experiment is over for now and he’s replaced by Mike Kakuba, who’ll make his own Ligue 1 bow in our back 3. Hikem will start in place of Aguilar on the left and I’m also dropping Joël and bringing Sissako in, who’s recovered from his thigh strain. He’ll run box to box while McCarthy starts in his favourite number 10 position behind a promising front 2 of Ferhat and Andre. Our biggest centre backs Kakuba and Doucouré will man mark their 2 huge strikers Privat and Pavlovic and our wingbacks will hold their position in defence against Guingamp’s advanced wingers. In the absence of their width we’ll focus our play down the middle where we have a numerical advantage. My plan is flawless and I’ll fight anybody who tells me otherwise. This slump ends now while it’s still in it’s infancy.

150 2 8 formations.png

25 minutes in, Guingamp score with their first shot. We’re undone by a hoofed ball up the left for Lefeuvre, who gets goal side of Samba. The 4 attackers work the ball around the box before it’s played back to Lefeuvre and he taps it past Lenogue. We need more structure and I tell the team as much, because the hosts have taken the lead massively against the run of play with a fluid move. With 5 minutes to go we put together a good and well structured move of our own, which is pleasing. It ends with Sissako drilling the ball low against the post though, which in contrast makes me want to pummel the ground with my feet until I break through to the Earth’s core and become a steaming bowl of cyborg soup.

In the second half Andre comes off, having shown none of the cutting edge I saw in the last match. Aidir gets half an hour, but 15 minutes later we’re 0-2 down. I’ve no idea what Samba thinks he’s playing at but this time he actually abandons Lefeuvre and allows him a free cross for Privat, who slams the ball in from 6 yards. More changes are required, so on come Zoun and Joël for Captiste and McCarthy and we change to a 2-2-2-3-1 formation and set out to control the game. 2 minutes later, Samba’s caught upfield after a throw in, the ball’s hoofed over the top for Lefeuvre, he’s allowed a free cross and stop me if you’ve heard this one before but Privat slams it home from 6 yards.

Mendyl skying a free header 6 yards out is of scant consolation. As is yet another dominant loss. As is our actual consolation in the 90th minute when Djuricic turns Ferhat’s cross into his own net. I can see what’s happening here. I know the script. It’s all happening again.

It’s Katowice 2.0.

Send wodka.

150 2 9 post

150 3 1 league

Episode 151 >

Vive le Franj! (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep149)

We will of course be throwing caution to the wind today and unleashing the full power of 16th Century France.

Start from the start with episode 1

< Mini-sode 148.5

149 1 1 france duty.png

“OK, is everyone clear?” A few players nod and murmur in response. Respect me, you bastards. They say that in prison you win respect by going up to the biggest bastard in there and punching him right in the face. I’m not much of a fighter, so I simply follow up with: “Paul, are you clear?”

“Boss, you must call me ‘The Pog Man™’.” Says my captain, Paul Pogba. A few players cover their mouths to try and hide their laughs. I sigh. This has already backfired.

“I’d rather call you Paul.” I reply curtly.

“But Boss, all of my friends call me ‘The Pog Man™’. I can’t play at my best unless you call me ‘The Pog Man™’.” I feel myself turning red. The players are starting to hide their laughing less and less. I need to stand my ground though, I can’t bend the fucking knee before my first match.

“I’ll tell you what, Paul,” I begin, “For now I’m going to call you ‘Little Poggy Boy™’. Impress me today and we’ll see about promoting you to Pog Man™.”

Pogba laughs and feigns applause as his team mates continue to giggle, but seemingly more in his direction now than mine. Success. For now at least, I’m King of the Prison. Who’s got all the cigarettes now, Little Poggy Boy™?

The French vice captain is Antoine Griezmann by the way. Both he and Paul were already in place before I arrived and I thought it unwise to risk losing the dressing room by replacing them after their recent triumph in Canada.

149 1 2 captains.png

My first match as head coach of the world champions is a home tie in the European International League Group A against the Netherlands. It’s a 3 team group containing ourselves, the Dutch and the Irish so after this first match we’ve got a friendly while the other 2 play each other. I want us to get off on the right foot today though and the Dutch won’t be easy opposition.

149 1 4 france v holland

149 1 5 france expects

149 1 6 lloris expects

We will of course be throwing caution to the wind today and unleashing the full power of 16th Century France upon our Dutch counterparts. The line up is as follows:

149 1 11 preview

Goalkeeper – Hugo Lloris – Tottenham Hotspur

He may be 35 years old, but for my first match I’m going for tried and tested players and Hugo is certainly that, with 156 caps for France and over 15 years of top flight experience with Nice, Lyon and Spurs.

149 1 9 1 gk

Right Back – Djibril Sidibé – AS Monaco

The full back spots are one of the only positions where I’m not completely spoilt for choice, but then I don’t need to be with Sidibé in the team. Widely recognised as one of the best right backs in the world, he’s the obvious choice.

149 1 9 2 rb

Centre Backs – Raphaël Varane & Aymeric Laporte – Real Madrid & Chelsea

Speaking of spoilt for choice, we have more than enough quality centre backs. Real Madrid stalwart Varane and serial entrant in the Premier League Team of the Year Laporte beat the likes of Samuel Umtiti, Lucas and Dayot Upamecano to start because they’re coming into their primes and quite frankly they both absolutely ooze class.

149 1 9 3 cb

149 1 9 4 cb

Left Back – Lucas Digne – Manchester City

Lucas is my kind of player. Determined and hard working as hell with the pace and fitness to effectively charge up and down the left wing all day. Like the rest of the defence he’s hovering around 30 and is in his prime.

149 1 9 5 lb

Central Midfield – N’Golo Kanté & Tiémoué Bakayoko – Chelsea & AS Monaco

In my midfield I want legs. Lots of them. These two players between them have at least 4. But it’s not just the fact that these 2 can run all day that’s inspired me to pick them, it’s their all round games. They’re both quick and strong, can tackle and pass and if absolutely necessary, crack off the odd shot.

149 1 9 6 cm

149 1 9 7 cm

Right Sided Attacking Playmaker – Kingsley Coman – Manchester United

Kingsley’s a tad younger than most of the players who’ll line up around him today but you wouldn’t know it. Experienced more than you’d expect for a 26 year old in a hugely competitive squad, the rapid and versatile midfielder’s already racked up 76 caps.

149 1 9 8 rw

Attacking Midfielder – Paul Pogba – Manchester United

Our captain slots in alongside his red devil teammate Coman and I’m looking for him to be the sun around which everything else in the team gravitates. He’s certainly got the ability and his performances for United and France have rarely been anything but spectacular, so hopefully he’ll show me something similar.

149 1 9 9 cam

Left Sided Inside Forward – Kylian Mbappé – AS Monaco

Kylian’s the baby of our starting XI at just 23 years old, but he may well be one of if not the most talented French footballer out there. Make no mistakes, Kylian, I don’t often say this but I do expect fireworks.

149 1 9 10 lw

Complete Forward – Antoine Griezmann – Atletico Madrid

Another player who’s reached the remarkable landmark of 100 caps and yet somehow doesn’t seem to show any signs of slowing down for his club side. He’s two footed, there’s barely any weaknesses in his game and he can play anywhere across the forward line, so I look forward to seeing how he fits into my system.

149 1 9 11 st

Two things should be immediately apparent: Firstly, the quality in this team is absolutely mouth watering and I need to keep pinching myself because I get to put them in a team together, but secondly as far as International squads go, ours is old. Very old. I firmly believe that this is the best lineup currently at my disposal and only 2 of them are under 28. Russia 2018 and Canada 2022 took place right in the peak of this generation of players’ careers. By the next World Cup only Kylian Mbappé will be under 30. Lloris will be almost 40, although granted it’s not unheard of for a keeper to still be world class at that age. So it’s bittersweet to see this team together because I think over the next couple of years, the vast majority of this true golden generation will need to be replaced. It’ll be a big job, but that’s for another day. For now let’s see what these lads have got.

149 1 12 formations.png

What these lads have got becomes apparent almost immediately. What they’ve got is so much talent that I could break down and openly weep in the middle of the Stade de France. It takes 5 minutes of beautiful football for us to win a free kick 25 yards from goal and Paul Pogba steps up to dispatch it perfectly, looking almost bored as he curls it right into the top corner for 1-0.

With just over 10 minutes gone it should be 2, but for a superb reflex save from Jasper Cillessen. Sidibé bursts down the right wing and is fed the ball by Bakayoko. The Monaco full back crosses to the near post, Griezmann shoots but the Dutch stopper does brilliantly to turn it behind. Mbappé swings the resulting corner in, Pogba rises to nod it across goal and Bakayoko has a free header at the far post, but puts it just wide.

By the 14th minute we can officially consider ourselves unfortunate to only be a single goal ahead when another Pogba free kick rattles the bar, and then 5 minutes later vice captain Griezmann presses Riedewald and robs the ball from him. He runs clean through and shoots, but Cillessen makes another good save. This is complete one-way traffic.

We continue to dominate the first half, but it’s not until the 53rd minute that we have our next real chance when a beautiful passing move ends with Bakayoko playing a give and go with Little Poggy Boy™, who plays it on to Kanté. Kanté gives the ball to Coman, he slides it across for Bakayoko and the midfielder strokes it into the far corner to double our lead. Perfect.

We’re pegged back out of nowhere a few minutes later though when Buitink slips down the right wing and cuts the ball across goal for Memphis Depay to tap in at the far post. Leave me alone Memphis, you twat. 2-1.

With under half an hour to play Pogba stands over a free kick once more, but this time he passes short to fellow goalscorer Bakayoko. Bakayoko passes to Mbappé on the edge of the box, who slips the ball straight through for Kanté. The one time Premier League winner with Leicester City has a go, but Cillessen makes another terrific save, tipping the ball against the post.

We continue to push and within a minute the Netherlands have 11 men in the box defending our corner. Mbappé’s initial cross is cleared but we patiently work the ball around the edge of the box, waiting for an opportunity. Pogba finds such an opportunity, squaring the ball through the mess of orange shirts for Bakayoko, whose shot cannons off Riedewald and wrong foots the keeper. Bakayoko claims his 2nd and our 3rd goal of the day.

For the last 15 minutes I bring off Kanté and Griezmann and introduce Rabiot and Fekir, who I’ll talk more on in a minute. The Netherlands go close soon after, with Buitink skying his shot after being put through by Vilhena, and a few minutes after that Thomas Lemar comes on in place of Kylian Mbappé. Again, more in a minute.

We have the final chance of the match with 5 minutes to go when Rabiot chips the ball into the box for Paul Pogba to chase. The skipper takes it down and shoots from a narrow angle, but can only ripple the side netting. The feel good factor is marred slightly a minute later though when Pogba has to go off injured.

Nevertheless, I’m back in International football and back in the European International League with a bang. When the final whistle blows I have to leap with all my might to meet Crouchie’s high 5, before we both head onto the pitch to shake hands and pat backs as a chorus of “Vive le Franj!*” chants from the tens of thousands of French fans echoes around the Stade de France. What a fucking day.

149 1 13 post.png

Fair play, Pog Man™. Consider me impressed. He’s proved today that he can be relied upon to be our main attacking threat, but unfortunately his injury’ll keep him out for the Austria game. To be fair, the plan is to make wholesale changes anyway so I can see how the rest of the squad adapts to Project: Renaissance.

149 2 1 pogba leads way

149 2 2 squad positive

The name Noé Guillot may sound familiar as he recently helped tear my Auxerre side apart for Chelsea in a pre-season friendly. The plan for this squad was to go primarily for tried and tested so he didn’t originally make the cut, but with Pogba out for Austria and the niggling thought that some fresh blood will be needed sooner or later, I may as well give him a look. Welcome aboard, Noé.

149 2 3 injury worry

A few days after my triumphant debut in Paris, we travel to Vienna to take on Claudio Ranieri’s Austria. That’s bloody right. If there’s one football manager I’ve always wanted to shake hands with, it’s Claudio Ranieri. What a bloke. I just love football sometimes.

149 2 5 pre match

I said before that this French team should be able to attack almost any team in the World home and away and I’m sticking by that. Even our second string should be good enough to get the win over Austria and I mean no disrespect by that, we’ve just got a bloody good second string. Here they are:

149 2 6 preview.png

Goalkeeper – Alban Laurent – Real Madrid

I’m handing young Alban his debut today despite the fact that he’s “only” Real Madrid’s 2nd choice goalkeeper. At 20 years old his potential is staggering and there’s little doubt in my mind that he’ll eventually take over the number 1 jersey from Lloris.

149 1 9 13 gk

Goalkeeper – Alban Lafont – Stoke City

Laurent won’t be playing the whole match though because he’s got competition. Stoke’s 23 year old shot stopper Alban Lafont. At the minute he’s much more experienced and rounded than Laurent so it’ll be interesting to see who performs the best. I’ll give the 2 lads a half each.

“But Franjo,” guffaw the masses, “How can you have a Stoke City player in your France squad?”

149 1 9 12 gk.png

Right Back – Sébastien Corchia – Stoke City

Well how you like me now, guffawing masses? There’s 2 Stoke City players in my fucking France squad. Sébastien’s not exactly one for the future but as I said before we’re not exactly overflowing with fantastic options in the full back areas and at 31, Sébastien is still a bloody good player. He’s also got that determination, work rate and sky high fitness that I laud so much but thanks to the likes of Sidibé he’s been almost criminally under-utilised by the national squad throughout his career.

149 1 9 14 rb

Centre Backs – Lucas & Samuel Umtiti – Paris Saint-Germain & Barcelona

As I also said before, there is an abundance of great centre backs for us to choose from. I’ve had to leave very good options like Upamecano, Kurt Zouma and Mamadou Sakho out altogether because we’re so well stocked. Like Varane and Laporte, Lucas and Samuel are 2 extremely classy centre backs: Quick, strong, mentally bulletproof and comfortable on the ball. I have confidence that they’ll do a job.

149 1 9 15 cb

149 1 9 16 cb

Left Back – Benjamin Mendy – Atletico Madrid

I actually considered playing Benjamin over Digne for the Netherlands match because of his fantastic crossing and dribbling ability, but he drew the short straw. He can still impress me today, mind.

149 1 9 17 lb

Central Midfielders – Corentin Tolisso & Adrien Rabiot – Barcelona

Similarly to central defenders, we downright have too many world class midfielders in our ranks. I opt to play Corentin and Adrien together because of their club connection and I’m certain that either or both of them have the ability to win a first team spot if they put in the performances.

149 1 9 18 cm

149 1 9 19 cm

Right Sided Attacking Playmaker – Jeff Reine-Adelaide – Inter

Ah, how long has it been? How long has it been since I’ve had a true anti-winger in my team? I couldn’t resist giving Jeff a try despite the fact that he isn’t a first team regular at Inter because he’s such a great option to have. He’ll still be the playmaker in the side today and not an actual winger because we’re still playing Project: Renaissance, but it’s great to have him on board even so and I hope he does well.

149 1 9 20 rw

Attacking Midfielder – Noé Guillot – Chelsea

As I said before, Guillot gets a chance to impress today thanks to Paul Pogba’s knock so he’d better make the most of it. Arsene Wenger obviously thought very highly of the lad, having used him in the World Cup and most notably started him in the final, but I’m yet to be entirely convinced. He’s quick and mentally assured but I feel like he may be lacking technically. I want to see how he does before making any decisions on him though.

149 2 4 guillot

Left Inside Forward – Thomas Lemar – AS Monaco

There are probably only 3 attacking midfielders in the world that could keep Thomas out of my first team and unfortunately they’re Kingsley Coman, Paul Pogba and Kylian Mbappé. He’s an absolute dream of a player and it wouldn’t surprise me in the slightest if he ousted one of the other three at some point.

149 1 9 21 cam

Complete Forward – Anthony Martial – Paris Saint-Germain

Anthony’s a solid choice either on the left or up top, having scored 21 in 69 caps so far for France.  He’s not a regular at PSG at the minute but again, it wouldn’t surprise me if he made himself undroppable for me going forwards. When he originally burst onto the scene he was meant to be the best French footballer of his generation and while he’s done well, he’s yet to live up to that billing in my eyes.

149 1 9 22 lw

Complete Forward – Nabil Fekir – Real Madrid

Nabil is officially the only striker I called up to my squad, which I found pretty funny. Griezmann’s my first choice and there’s obviously Martial, but we’ve got a host of versatile attacking midfielders who I’m sure could step in with ease. I want to look at Nabil though so he’ll come on at the break with Lafont.

149 1 9 23 st

I shake Ranieri’s hand as our teams line up on the pitch. I can’t hear what he says to me over the deafening noise of the Austrian fans, but I’m sure it’s something endearing and charming, so I smile and nod.

149 2 7 formations.png

Austria go close within the first minute when young Inter striker Andreas Seidel escapes the clutches of Samuel Umtiti, dribbles into our box and skies his shot. I wouldn’t mind but he does it again 15 minutes later. Salijl passes across Umtiti, who’s left flat footed, for Seidel. He shoots but Laurent makes a great save, tipping the ball onto the angle. What really makes me panic though is when he does the exact same bastard thing 5 minutes later. Seidel receives the ball, shrugs off Lucas, steps around Umtiti and fires at our goal. Laurent gets a hand to it again but calamitously can only spill it into the net. Bloody hell. It’s a richly deserved 0-1 lead for Austria and I’m already forgetting everything I said about our embarrassment of riches at centre back.

Screen Shot 2018-05-22 at 20.43.04.png

With half an hour gone I’m starting to fear a mauling. We’ve not really started playing yet. I get the feeling that perhaps Project: Renaissance should be reserved for when we’ve got the absolute crème de la crème on the pitch. Pardon my French. Sorry. Anyway, we go on the counter attack after half an hour but at half time we’ve still not turned up. As promised, Alban Lafont and Nabil Fekir come on replacing the unfortunate Alban Laurent and the anonymous Anthony Martial. I feel for Laurent. He’s made a mistake on his debut and as Ryan Shawcross will tell you, that does not a good international career make. He did pull off a magnificent save though and I won’t forget that. Just as I won’t be giving up on the lad and his International prospects.

After the hour mark Andreas Seidel’s transfer value is still skyrocketing. Running rings around our centre backs once more he has another dig at goal, but Lafont tips the ball behind. But then finally with 20 minutes to go, we get our chance. A period of possession that echoes the beautiful football we played against the dutch culminates  with a Mendy cross from deep on the left wing, right into that sweet spot between the defensive line and the keeper. Fekir, by no means the tallest striker, leaps majestically to connect to it but sees his header smack back off the bar. Lemar tries to get to the rebound but the ball’s cleared before he reaches it.

With 12 minutes to go we have a free kick 25 yards out and slightly right of centre. It’s a perfect position for a left footer like Thomas Lemar. Lemar steps up, bends it… Not quite enough. It’s too central and the keeper saves it, but he can’t keep hold of the ball. It bounces down and Sébastien Corchia reacts quickest, darting over to boot in the rebound. We do celebrate, but it’s mild compared to the Netherlands match. Nobody celebrates quite as wildly as Corchia, who’s just scored his first international goal at the age of 31. How you like me now, guffawing masses. Don’t answer that actually, this has not been a good match.

Seidel goes close once more with 5 minutes to go and my late introductions of Kingsley Coman and Antoine Griezmann can’t turn the tide. The match ends 1-1, which to be honest I’ll happily take. I’ve just learned an absolute tonne about this squad and not all of it’s good.

149 2 8 post

149 3 1 debutant happy

149 3 2 first goal

149 3 3 league

*Credit and thanks to Markus on wordpress for “Vive la Franj”. Bloody love that!

Episode 150 >

Project: Renaissance (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Mini-sode 148.5)

This is our rebirth.

Start from the start with episode 1

< Episode 148

“How’re you feeling, Boss?” Asks Crouchie, stepping out of the hotel and following me onto the team bus.

“Like a Höllviken manager with a France squad.” I mutter, managing a weak smile. Crouchie laughs.

“It’ll be fine. International football’s a doddle.”

“Well you would say that wouldn’t you, Mr 20 goals in 40 games. For some of us International football has so far been a harrowing experience.”

“22 in 42”, he corrects me quick as a flash. “And this isn’t exactly Liechtenstein, is it? These players know what they’re doing. No offence.”

“I suppose.”

“And lest you forget, we’ve got Project: Renaissance ready to go. You know it’s a good system. It’ll be fine.”

148 2 3 france squad

Crouchie’s right. Project: Renaissance has become my obsession lately. Despite not knowing what he was talking about, the beeb’s Don Collins was right about one thing: France need to play more than just functional football and along with my assistant, I’ve designed a system that should allow us to win beautifully. It’s probably the first time ever I’ve set out to play truly attractive football, but in my defence this is a system that very few teams would have a chance of pulling off. If anyone can do it though, it’s the French national team.

148 2 4 announced

Project: Renaissance, put basically, is Project: Meatloaf taken to the extreme. Whereas Project: Meatloaf and pretty much all of my systems to date have tended to be simple in order to be picked up quickly and easily by “lesser” players and limit their creative freedom to make sure they’re doing their job, Project: Renaissance is quite the opposite. The players are told to play more instinctively and express themselves, especially in our front line where I want the 4 most attacking players to roam, float and interchange at will, finding pockets of space to receive quick passes to feet and play it on. The “wide men” are encouraged to come in and affect the game in the centre, the “striker” will have almost complete freedom to link up with his team mates as he sees fit, while our number 10 becomes almost a second striker, driving into the box as our primary attacking threat. The 2 full backs will charge down the lines providing a wide option to stretch defences and the central midfield pair will press high up to win the ball back in our opposition’s half. With our defence pushing up we’ll play the offside trap and we’ll use a sweeper keeper to mop up any loose balls at the back.

149 1 7 pr shape

So far this should all sound fairly familiar, albeit with more freedom and fluidity. I do of course have some instructions for the team other than “Do whatever you want” though. On the ball I want us playing quick give-and-go football, using our superior movement, intelligence and passing to move up the pitch. We’ll play narrow and with a high defensive line to keep the game as compact as we can in the opposition’s half, which will help us off the ball where we’ll chase and harass the opposition mercilessly in order to win the ball back as quickly as possible. Above all, we’ll attack, attack, attack. This side should be able to attack nearly any other team home and away and impose our game on them. We’re taking elements from German gegenpressing and Dutch total football and on paper at least, I think Crouchie and I have come up with something pretty special.

149 1 8 pr instructions

Finally, the meaning behind the name Project: Renaissance. The Renaissance is a defining period of European history covering the 14th, 15th, 16th and 17th centuries and is named after the French word for “Rebirth” as it’s seen as the artistic and cultural rebirth of Europe. The huge cultural shift from the middle ages into a more modern, humanistic Europe led to developments in things like the Arts and Sciences, just as my introduction as the French Head Coach will surely lead to huge developments in our style of football and eventually (Hopefully) a new generation of French World Cup Winners. This is a new era for me and it’s a new era for France. This is my rebirth. This is our rebirth. This is Project: Renaissance.

149 1 3 build up149 1 3 build up 2

Episode 149 >

Runaway Train (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep148)

Never Going Back.

Start from the start with episode 1

< Episode 147

This last week has been fantastic. The sun’s shone brighter, the beer’s been colder and training sessions have been light hearted but tremendously effective. There’s just been a genuine feel-good atmosphere around Auxerre since Phil Foden struck to get us off the mark in Ligue 1. He’s named in the first Team of the Week of the season and it’s richly deserved.

148 1 1 totw

Yep, everything’s going just fine for old Franjo, I think to myself, leaning back in my comfy chair and putting my feet up on the desk. I glance towards my office door, but nothing happens. Huh. That’s right. As I said, everything’s going just… Suddenly and to my utter surprise, the door bursts open dramatically and in steps Adama Ba.

“I need to leave”, He pants, out of breath for some reason. “I’ve achieved all that I can at Auxerre.”

148 1 3 ba unh.png

I pause for a moment, then say “Are you serious, Adama? Achieved all you can? We’ve just been promoted! Have you achieved helping us stay in the bloody division?” He says nothing, staring at his feet. “Have you spoken to Captiste?” Adama shakes his head. I walk to the door, lean my head out into the corridor and bellow “Captiste!”.

“Yes Boss?” Comes a voice from about 2 feet away.

“Oh, there you are.” I say, spinning to face him. “Adama thinks he’s achieved all he can here, could you work your magic on him please?”

Nodding solemnly, Captiste strides into the room and stands in front of the inside forward, studying him for a moment. I smile. I’m quite excited, having never actually seen him in action before. I usually find it better to let him deal with these situations one on one. The skipper closes his eyes and takes a very long and very deep breath. There’s a palpable silence before Captiste reopens his eyes and clears his throat.

“You will be happy to stay.” Says Captiste, waving his hand slowly in front of Ba’s face. My smile vanishes. Ba slowly turns his head to face me, looking as confused as I feel.

“What the fuck are you doing?” I ask. Captiste looks at me, then back to Ba.

“You will be happy to stay.” He repeats, his voice slightly more strained as he waves his hand more forcefully in front of our bemused Mauritanian.

“No, I want to leave.” Says Ba meekly. “I feel that I’ve…”

“Are you shitting me, Captiste?” I ask, exasperated. “This is your secret? This is how you keep the dressing room happy, bloody… What, Jedi mind tricks?” Captiste turns to me, raises a finger to his lips in a shushing motion and winks. My brow furrows dangerously. “No, don’t shush me as if it’s top secret mate, it’s bollocks isn’t it.”

“You WILL be happy to stay!” Barks Captiste, whipping back around to face Ba and swinging his hand around wildly. Ba shakes his head and walks out of my office, leaving Captiste looking crestfallen, holding his hands out in front of him and staring disbelievingly down at his palms.

“I don’t understand how you’ve managed to turned so many players around.” I sigh. “I mean it’s still impressive, but in an entirely different way than I thought. It’s baffling, really.”

Captiste turns towards me, smiles, winks and raises his forefinger to shush me once again. He then begins to back slowly out of my office, smiling and shushing as he goes, until he closes the door behind himself. Oh captain, my captain. I fucking despair.

148 1 4 captiste cant help.png

I catch up with Adama and we have an actual grown up chat. He’s a polite lad and he seems to have made up his mind, so although it wouldn’t be ideal for him to leave, I agree not to stand in his way. Adama’s a runaway train and he’s never going back. On his decision. Personally I think he’s going the wrong way down a one way track.

148 1 5 ba convo 1148 1 5 ba convo 2

I want to get as many points on the board as possible before the first international break in 2 games time. Our next match promises to be a big challenge though: Mancini’s Marseille are coming over for a kick about. It’s easy to forget how good Marseille are when they’re stood in the shadow of PSG and Monaco, but as they’re usually in or around the 3rd Champions League spot, they’re definitely not to be underestimated.

148 1 7 preview.png

To punctuate this point, OM are coming to Stade l’Abbé Deschamps off the back of a 4-0 win over Fenerbahçe in the Champions League Play Off First Leg, so it’s fair to say I’m bricking it a bit. Sport Pesa posit before the match that for us to have any chance we’re going to have to keep it tight and hope that we can snatch something on the break. I wholeheartedly agree. We’re staying unchanged and we’ll start off closing down less, staying on our feet and sticking to our positions like we did against Lorient.

148 1 2 pre marseille.png

148 1 8 formations.png

We nearly make the perfect start with Hicham Aidir going close after 15 seconds. He has a shot tipped brilliantly around the post by Samba. 15 minutes in though Marseille start to take charge. First Geraldes makes himself some space on the edge of the box and fizzes a shot wide, before Carrasco gets away down the right a few minutes later and whips in a cross that Enes Ünal smashes home on the volley. Shit.

The next 15 minutes are tense as the next goal will be vital. When Bruno Fernandes lays the ball off for Mexican winger Hirving Lozano and he slams it into the far corner of Lenogue’s net, we need to roll the dice. We hand a Ligue 1 debut to our attacking Project: Meatloaf.

From that point we match Marseille stride for stride but we can’t pull the deficit back. We start to even take control early in the second half so I make a couple of attacking changes: Samba and Aguilar are encouraged to go on the attack while Brahim Ferhat and debutant Fabian McCarthy take to the pitch in place of Zoun and Goujon, with Ferhat taking the left wing and McCarthy utilised in a deep lying playmaker role.

With 20 minutes to go we’re hammering on the visitors’ door, firing crosses into the box and going close without being able to make anything stick. Samba gets the ball on the right wing and instead of crossing, passes it inside to Phil Foden, who turns and lays the ball off for 17 year old Ferhat. Ferhat makes no mistake, tucking the ball into the far corner to put us right back into the game. Good lad, Brahim.

A minute later we’re still all over OM and a beautiful flowing counter attack ends with Hicham sliding the ball into the box for Sissako, who’s clean through on goal. Sissako shoots… Straight into the keeper’s arms. Somebody get me a water bottle to kick. With 15 to play I throw Florian Ayé on for Joël and we go to a more direct 4-2-4. It’s Marseille that go closest after that though when Lozano forces his way down the left hand side and forces a good save from Lenogue with a shot from close range.

We keep plugging away and with 2 minutes to go we put together an absolutely outstanding move. Brahim Ferhat turns inside from the left wing and plays a direct diagonal ball to Ayé, who flicks it on perfectly into Aidir’s path. The Moroccan chests it down on the penalty spot and let’s rip… Straight at the keeper.

I can’t say I’m not disappointed when the final whistle blows, but the players’ effort was admirable today. We threw everything at Marseille but it just wasn’t enough.

148 1 9 post.png

148 2 1 mccarthy debut.png

We just need to move on quickly. I do get an offer the next day from CS Sedan Ardennes, who want to take Ba on loan for the season. They don’t necessarily want to play him though and don’t want to pay much for the privilege, so I reject the offer.

148 2 2 ba offer rej.png

During the build up to our final match before the international break, it’s time to announce my very first France squad for our European International League match against the Netherlands and friendly against Austria. It still feels a bit surreal to call them my France squad. I have a system prepared that me and Crouchie have been working on for the past few weeks, but for now we’ve got a League match to focus on so let’s save all that for another day.

148 2 7 pre match.png

A few of our players have been called up by their countries, although none by me. Raf, Ba, Kakuba, Lenogue, Zoun, Aidir and Andre will all join up with their home nations over the break.

148 2 5 players called up

148 2 6 more called up

A trip to Lyon isn’t exactly the match I’d choose to bounce back from our narrow defeat, but them’s the breaks. I don’t exactly help myself though by accidentally allowing most of my bench to play in a youth team game for a bit of fitness, not realising that the youth team match is also today, so they’re all unavailable for the first team. Lyon have had a decent start to the season with 4 points from their first 2 games and they sit 3 places above us in 7th.

148 2 8 preview.png

For the 3rd match in a row we’re keeping the exact same lineup. I do consider swapping out to Project: Burnie Mk III to sure us up against Lyon’s 4-4-2, but this side’s performed well so far and I don’t want to disrupt their momentum.

148 2 9 formations.png

Lyon’s Juanpi tests Lenogue in the opening stages with a shot from the edge of the box, but it’s a routine stop for our Martinican keeper. 20 minutes later we go close ourselves when Zoun plays in Aidir. The big striker dribbles and shoots from the edge of the box but just misses past the top right corner.

5 minutes later Zoun cuts in himself and has a pop, but he’s denied by a good low save from Lopes. Memphis Depay does likewise a few minutes later, cutting in from the left and shooting just over the bar as both sides wrestle to take control of the match. Lumbering Lyonnais striker Yussuf Poulsen tries to get involved with a pot shot from 35 yards just before half time, but he almost hits the corner flag with his wayward effort.

As we enter the second half it could still go either way, but with all the near misses from great shots that we’ve seen so far it’s disappointing when Lyon pull ahead through a close range Memphis header directed down under Lenogue after Brekalo’s cross. The Dutchman nearly bags a 2nd before the hour when Lyon counter from our corner kick. He skips past a couple of our defenders and tries to bend a 20 yarder into the far corner, but can’t curl it enough and watches it go wide.

Young Senegalese winger Djilby Ba, on the bench today due to my administrative cock up, gets his debut replacing Zoun for the last half hour and slots in as a poacher alongside Hicham Aidir in a narrow diamond, but we can’t pull the game back from the hosts’ grasp.

Screen Shot 2018-05-22 at 21.40.53

To compound the misery of our last week, Phil Foden collapses in a heap in the 63rd minute and has to be stretchered off, with McCarthy replacing him. We’ll assess him over the international break but sometimes you just know instantly that it’s not a problem that plasters, deep heat or a week’s rest is going to mend. After our bright opening to the season, the future suddenly looks quite bleak.

148 2 10 post

148 3 1 league

Mini-sode 148.5 >

For Club And Country (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep147)

Show me what you’ve got, Ligue 1.

Start from the start with episode 1

< Mini-sode 146.5.5.5

Franjo…

146 1 73 france appointed

…Franjo…

146 1 80 france accepts

…Franjo…

146 1 79 france appoint

…Jesus, my name’s been fucking everywhere over the last few days. I’ve kept my head down as much as I can and kept on preparing for the Lorient game, but I think I’m becoming a bit of a sideshow. It’s not all good things either, don’t think that I’m just getting praise and support. This is the social media age. People already know my entire history better than I do and are quick to dismiss it as “Fucking shit lol”. I never knew so many thousands of people were at my Höllviken games for example, as it looked at the time like there was only ever about 15 in the stands. But no, they were all apparently there watching, they all could have done better and they all could have kept them up. Fuck social media. Not even the French public are happy about my arrival as their head coach. The ones outside of our Auxerre bubble have never heard of me and the Auxerrois locals are worried about how my new job will affect their club’s league performances. I wanted ideally to postpone my announcement until after Auxerre got settled into the new season, but realistically that was never going to happen. In the end and after much encouragement and coaxing from my assistant for club and country Peter Crouch, I hold a press conference and attend some interviews.

146 1 77 crouch profile

A massive amount of questions are asked, some predictable, some less so. One Scottish bloke keeps calling me Franco, asks about my face and doesn’t know where Poland is but that’s about as bad as it gets. The big issue that overshadows everything else though is that I’m now both the Auxerre Manager and the French Head Coach. I have a lot of French players in my club squad and I’m asked over and over and over again whether I’ll be biased towards picking Auxerre players. I prepared for this line of questioning ahead of time and recite my short and sweet answer word for word each time I’m asked: “If I do, it won’t be because of any bias, but because they’re deserving of selection.”

146 1 78 france no bias

Let’s ignore the “Unknown Dickhead Gets Massive Job For Some Reason” headlines for a moment though and get back to club matters. The new season is upon us and even though there’s almost 3 weeks left of the transfer window to go I think we’ve already made all the signings we’re going to make. Try as we might to find that weathered old holding man I wanted, it just doesn’t look like it’s going to happen. We’ve got barely any money left after buying Fabian McCarthy out of his Ajax CT contract and even if we did have some there’s just nobody out there that fits the mould and is willing to join. I’m not overly worried about our squad but it would be nice to have some extra quality. Someone like, just picking a name out at random, Paris Saint-Germain’s young Argentine number 10 Ramiro Rolón Martínez. Oh to have a lad like him in our midfield. He looks like a world beater and PSG don’t even really need him with all the talent at their disposal.

Screen Shot 2018-05-21 at 14.39.13

But no, it looks like we’re making do. That’s OK though. This squad may not have the quality or depth of a PSG or a Monaco, but we’re tough, hard working and we play as a bloody team. FC Lorient will probably be licking their lips in anticipation of an opening day clash at home against a newly promoted side but aside from the teams that kicked off early, all teams are on 0 points and all teams are equal. We’re all just Ligue 1 sides with 38 matches ahead of us. Lorient had better be up for a fight because we sure as hell are.

147 1 2 preview.png

I won’t get to see Rostand and Aidir go head to head today because Lorient’s young striker has headed out on loan to link up with Isaac Sohna at Karabükspor, but even without him Lorient have a very pacy front line in their 4-2-3-1 so we’ll be kicking off the season with a counter attacking Project: Meatloaf Mk II, sitting deep to prevent the hosts from getting in behind us. Faouzi Hikem’s carrying a suspension over from last season so I’m going to stick with the same side that beat La Berrichonne on the final day. Lenogue’s between the sticks, Samba, Captiste, Doucouré and Aguilar are our back 4, Goujon holds the midfield behind Sissako and Joël, and Foden and Zoun flank Aidir as our front 3. New signing McCarthy makes the bench alongside Billy and Ferhat who both spent last year on loan, while Adama Ba is back in training but is not fit enough to join the squad. Captiste leads the l’AJA troops out for our first top flight match in a decade. Show me what you’ve got, Ligue 1.

147 1 3 formations.png

The first half hour is calm from both sides. Lorient don’t want to get cocky and over extend themselves while we don’t want to commit too far forwards ourselves for fear of being taken apart at the back. The first chance of note we have is when Aidir receives the ball from Foden and charges through the centre of the pitch. He shoots from 20 yards but puts the ball wide of the far post.

A minute later and with only 7 to play before the break, the ball’s down the other end with Lorient’s left winger Musa. He gets a cross in towards the near post and Santos latches on and shoots, but Captiste’s on hand to block the shot and ricochet the ball back to Musa. He tries again, this time swinging it into the centre where Vesovic outleaps Doucouré and directs a header towards the bottom corner, forcing a low fingertip save from Xavier Lenogue. I make some subtle changes with a view to keeping our shape a bit better. We’ll close Lorient’s players down less, stay on our feet when tackling and stick to our positions.

With 4 minutes to go before half time we win a throw in on the right hand side and Samba takes it, finding Aidir. The big Moroccan dribbles across the edge of the box with Lorient’s players unwilling to stick a foot in in case they bring him down. He keeps going… And going… “Shoot, Hicham.” I whisper. “Fucking shoot.” Aidir pulls back his left foot… And flicks the ball back for Phil Foden, who drives it low into the far bottom corner.

Screen Shot 2018-05-21 at 16.10.40

“Fucking get in!” I bellow, leaping across my technical area and punching the air like it owes me money, as Phil peels away towards the euphoric travelling fans, arms held aloft.

With the break creeping closer Aidir finds himself on the edge of the home box once again. This time he’s dispossessed by João Pedro but manages to block the defender’s clearance, sending the ball bobbling into the area where Zoun’s lurking. Our Burkinabe wideman takes it and shoots, but his effort’s too central and quite routine for Munir to save.

The second half starts just as cautiously as the first. Naturally I don’t want to rock the boat when we’re leading, but with 20 minutes to go Duris gets away down the left wing and chips a cross in for Santos to volley straight into Lenogue’s arms from close range. It should be 1-1 and would be if the striker had aimed at literally any other part of the goal. It’s time for a change. We go 4-1-4-1 with Zoun and Foden swapping sides and playing as wide midfielders to help keep our shape, while Lamine Fomba comes on replacing Joël and will run box to box and add steel to our midfield while Sissako takes on more of a ball winning role. I also hand a debut to our physically imposing 17 year old Algerian-born French striker Brahim Ferhat, who replaces Hicham Aidir and has the sole instructions of running, closing down and bullying as many defenders as he can.

Our 4-1-4-1 seems to work for a few minutes, but then we start dropping further and further back and inviting pressure onto ourselves. We can either try to get more players forward to alleviate the pressure or try to funnel the Lorient attacks down the flanks and trust our centre backs to get to the barrage of crosses before their strikers. I’m not fond of the idea of getting more players forward at the minute so we go for the latter. With only a few minutes left to play one such Lorient attack yields a corner. Alioski swings it in and Abdoulaye Doucouré heads it goalwards. Lenogue’s beaten, but Ruben Aguilar comes to the rescue, stooping to head the ball off the line. It rolls away as far as Cafú, who drives a shot low, but Captiste gets a block in and concedes another corner. Alioski takes it again and it’s poor, finding only Goujon at the near post. The holding man skews his clearance back to the corner taker though and he finds Cafú just inside the box again. Cafú wallops it once more… But Lamine Fomba throws his body in the way and blocks the shot. The Auxerrois fans cheer their appreciation and I allow myself the subtlest of fist pumps. Our defending pays off. The clock runs down and the match ends 1-0 to Auxerre. L’AJA are back.

147 1 4 post

147 2 1 ferhat debut

147 2 2 league

Episode 148 >

Rue des Carrières – Part 2 (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Mini-sode 146.5.5)

Do you accept?

Start from the start with episode 1

< Mini-sode 146.5

My mouth’s so dry. It’s never been this dry. I need refreshment. I could drink some coffee but I’m fairly sure it’s gone cold. I should’ve drunk it before when it was nice and hot. Now it’s potential has been left unfulfilled. I could’ve had Michael Owen in the 1998 World Cup but I’ve left myself with Michael Owen at Newcastle. Fuck it, I’m going for it… Yeah, ice cold. That’s disgusting. What ever happened to Michael Owen? I know he owns a horse, I’m sure I heard that. Is he still commentating? He gave it a go didn’t he, but he wasn’t very…

“Franjo?” I look back across the gingham tablecloth to Arsene Wenger, still sitting with his fingers interlocked and a serious look in his eyes.

“So wait”, I hold out a hand as I try to process his question. “You’re retiring…”

“No, I’m joining Manchester City.”

“You’re… Oh, really? I could’ve sworn you said you were retiring.”

“No, you must be mistaken.”

“But you’re stepping down…”

Arsene sighs. “Managing both a club and a national team in this day and age, it’s… It’s unsustainable. Wouldn’t you agree?”

I laugh nervously. “Well I wouldn’t leave Auxerre.”

He nods. “That is your decision.” I could swear that his mouth flickers into a smirk, just for a second. “But do you accept? Will you take over the French National Team?”

146 1 71 france offer.png

Will I? Fucking hell. I honestly don’t know. Am I ready? This team just won the World Cup. They’re the World Champions and I’m only just breaking into top tier club football. They’ve got Pogba… Griezmann… Laporte… Is it too soon? Should I politely decline, focus on Auxerre and work my way up the ladder in a less risky way? Mind you, if I take Auxerre back down to Ligue 2 or get sacked I might not get another chance like this. I’m absolutely stumped. Arsene’s waiting for an answer though.

“You know how insane this is, don’t you?” I ask. Arsene chuckles, but says nothing. I start to laugh again too. “Of course I’ll fucking do it.”

146 1 72 france accepted.png

“Oh actually, I have one condition.”

“Go on”, says Arsene.

146 1 76 france crouch.png

Mini-sode 146.5.5.5 >

Ligue 1 101 (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Mini-sode 146.5)

I’m ready for the challenge.

Start from the start with episode 1

< Episode 146

We all know the rules in Ligue 1. There’s no splitting the league up into halves and having 6 different play offs to determine who goes into another league to go into another playoff to be relegated, those days are behind us. There are 3 Champions League spots, 3 Europa League spots and 3 relegation spots including a play off. The only thing we need to learn about in this league are the clubs, because there are some very good ones.

146.5 1.png

Athlétic Club Ajaccio

Nickname: L’ACA

Manager: Olivier Pantaloni

From: Ajaccio

Ground: Stade François Coty

Last Season: 3rd in Ligue 2 (Promoted after beating Racing Club de Lens in the Playoff)

Predicted: 18th

Rivals in Ligue 1: OGC Nice (Local)

146.5 2

Association de la Jeunesse Auxerroise

Nickname: L’AJA

Manager: WT Franjo

From: Auxerre

Ground: Stade Abbé Deschamps

Last Season: Champions of Ligue 2 (Promoted)

Predicted: 19th

Rivals in Ligue 1: Dijon FCO (Local), Bourg-en-Bresse 01 (Competitive)

146.5 3

Association Sportive de Monaco Football Club

Nickname: Les Monégasques

Manager: José Barros

From: Monaco

Ground: Ettori Park (Built 2019)

Last Season: Champions

Predicted: 2nd

Rivals in Ligue 1: OGC Nice (Fierce, Local), Olympique de Marseille (Local), Olympique Lyonnais (Competitive), Paris Saint-Germain (Competitive)

146.5 4

Association Sportive Nancy-Lorraine

Nickname: L’ASNL

Manager: Eric Chelle

From: Tomblaine

Ground: Stade Marcel Picot

Last Season: 10th

Predicted: 13th

Rivals in Ligue 1: FC Sochaux-Montbé (Local)

146.5 5

Association Sportive de Saint-Étienne Loire

Nickname: Les Verts

Manager: Denis Renaud

From: Saint-Étienne

Ground: Stade Geoffrey-Guichard

Last Season: 17th

Predicted: 8th

Rivals in Ligue 1: Olympique Lyonnais (Fierce, Local), Olympique de Marseille (Historic), FC Nantes (Historic), Paris Saint-Germain (Competitive)

146.5 6

Bourg-en-Bresse Péronnas 01

Nickname: N/A

Manager: Laurent Roussey

From: Bourg-en-Bresse

Ground: Stade Marcel Verchère

Last Season: 2nd in Ligue 2 (Promoted)

Predicted: 20th

Rivals in Ligue 1: Olympique Lyonnais (Local)

146.5 7

Dijon Football Côte d’Or

Nickname: Le DFCO

Manager: Olivier Dall’Oglio

From: Dijon

Ground: Parc Des Sports Gaston Gérard

Last Season: 14th

Predicted: 15th

Rivals in Ligue 1: AJ Auxerre (Local)

146.5 8

En Avant de Guingamp Côtes-d’Armor

Nickname: Les Costarmoricains

Manager: Yves Bertucci

From: Guingamp

Ground: En Avant de Guingamp Stadium (Built 2019)

Last Season: 6th

Predicted: 11th

Rivals in Ligue 1: Stade Rennais FC (Local), FC Lorient (Local), FC Nantes (Local)

146.5 9

Football Club Lorient-Bretagne Sud

Nickname: Les Merlus

Manager: Djamel Merdjett

From: Lorient

Ground: Gourcuff Stadium (Built 2021)

Last Season: 12th

Predicted: 12th

Rivals in Ligue 1: Stade Rennais FC (Local), Stade Brestois 29 (Local), FC Nantes (Local), En Avant de Guingamp (Local)

146.5 10

Football Club de Nantes

Nickname: Les Canaris

Manager: Frédéric Hantz

From: Nantes

Ground: Stade Louis Fonteneau (La Beaujoire)

Last Season: 13th

Predicted: 10th

Rivals in Ligue 1: Stade Rennais FC (Fierce, Local), Girondins de Bordeaux (Local), AS Saint-Étienne (Historic), FC Lorient (Local), En Avant de Guingamp (Local)\

146.5 11

Football Club Sochaux-Montbéliard

Nickname: Les Lionceaux

Manager: Albert Cartier

From: Montbéliard

Ground: Stade Auguste Bonal

Last Season: 15th

Predicted: 16th

Rivals in Ligue 1: AS Nancy Lorraine (Local)

146.5 12

Football Club des Girondins de Bordeaux

Nickname: Les Girondins

Manager: Michel Der Zakarian

From: Bordeaux

Ground: Matmut Atlantique (Nouveau Stade de Bordeaux)

Last Season: 5th

Predicted: 5th

Rivals in Ligue 1: Toulouse FC (Fierce, Local), FC Nantes (Local), Olympique de Marseille (Competitive), Olympique Lyonnais (Competitive), Paris Saint-Germain (Competitive)

146.5 13

Lille Olympique Sporting Club

Nickname: Les Dogues

Manager: Alaixys Romao

From: Villeneuve-d’Ascq

Ground: Stade Pierre Mauroy

Last Season: 16th

Predicted: 14th

Rivals in Ligue 1: N/A

146.5 14

Olympique Gymnaste Club Nice Côte d’Azur

Nickname: Le Gym

Manager: Antoine Kombouaré

From: Nice

Ground: Allianz Riviera

Last Season: 7th

Predicted: 9th

Rivals in Ligue 1: AS Monaco (Fierce, Local), Olympique de Marseille (Local), AC Ajaccio (Local)

146.5 15

Olympique Lyonnais

Nickname: L’OL

Manager: Jocelyn Gourvennec

From: Décines-Charpieu

Ground: Parc Olympique Lyonnais

Last Season: 4th

Predicted: 4th

Rivals in Ligue 1: AS Saint-Étienne (Fierce, Local), Olympique de Marseille (Fierce, Competitive), AS Monaco (Competitive), Paris Saint-Germain (Competitive), Bourg-en-Bresse 01 (Local), Girondins de Bordeaux (Competitive)

146.5 16

Olympique de Marseille

Nickname: L’OM

Manager: Roberto Mancini

From: Marseille

Ground: Stade Orange Vélodrome

Last Season: 3rd

Predicted: 3rd

Rivals in Ligue 1: Paris Saint-Germain (Fierce, Competitive), Olympique Lyonnais (Fierce, Competitive), AS Monaco (Local), OGC Nice (Local), AS Saint-Étienne (Competitive), Girondins de Bordeaux (Competitive)

146.5 17

Paris Saint-Germain Football Club

Nickname: Le PSG

Manager: Pep Guardiola

From: Paris

Ground: Parc Des Princes

Last Season: 2nd

Predicted: 1st

Rivals in Ligue 1: Olympique de Marseille (Fierce, Competitive), AS Monaco (Competitive), Olympique Lyonnais (Competitive), Girondins de Bordeaux (Competitive)

146.5 18

Stade Brestois 29

Nickname: Les Brestois

Manager: Míchel

From: Rennes

Ground: Roazhon Park

Last Season: 8th

Predicted: 17th

Rivals in Ligue 1: En Avant de Guingamp (Fierce, Local), Stade Rennais FC (Local), FC Lorient (Local)

146.5 19

Stade Rennais Football Club

Nickname: Les Rouges et Noirs

Manager: Patrice Carteron

From: Rennes

Ground: Roazhon Park

Last Season: 11th

Predicted: 7th

Rivals in Ligue 1: FC Nantes (Fierce, Local), En Avant de Guingamp (Local), FC Lorient (Local), Stade Brestois 29 (Local)

146.5 20

Toulouse Football Club

Nickname: Le TFC

Manager: Jean-Marie Stéphanopoli

From: Toulouse

Ground: Stadium Municipal

Last Season: 9th

Predicted: 6th

Rivals in Ligue 1: Girondins de Bordeaux (Fierce, Local)

146.5 21 preview

This is why I’m a manager. This is what it’s all about. The buzz of a new season. The nerves of seeing world famous athletes training their minds, bodies and souls, preparing to try and get you the sack. The sheer pants-wetting fear of another inevitable relegation dogfight. I’m ready for the challenge. I’ll get us clear. I won’t let this be another close call like Katowice and I certainly won’t let it be another Höllviken… Shit, it won’t be another Katowice, will it?

Mini-sode 146.5.5 >

A Risky Strategy (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep146)

But I think it’s our only option.

Side note: Just a heads up, I’ve not had access to my PC for quite a while and won’t have it for a few weeks yet. As match highlights don’t upload properly from Mac there’ll be no match highlights until I get it back. When I do I’ll be adding them all retroactively though. There’s also no new Auxerre kit for the same reason, which I’m a bit more annoyed about, but oh well.

Start from the start with episode 1

< Mini-sode 145.5.5.5.5

There’s a spring in my step as I stride into the Centre de Formation for the first day of pre-season. This Summer we won’t just be preparing for a new season, but for a year of eating at the top table, rubbing shoulders with some of the elite footballers, managers and teams in the World. Although… You’d think that promotion to a League with the reputation of Ligue 1 would mean an influx of money that we could use to fill the club’s coffers, pay off some debt and maybe make some signings, but we actually didn’t make that much by winning the league and certainly not enough to do any of those things I just mentioned, so it’s also going to be a very difficult year financially. With this in mind my first job is tying down players that we already have and I don’t want to lose on a free at the end of next season. Quite a few players are entering their final year but for now I offer new deals to those that I consider key: Xavier Lenogue, Issa Samba, Loïc Goujon and Zoun all gladly sign on the dotted line along with Nathan Andre, who’s back from a fairly successful loan spell at Cercle Brugge and is hopefully ready to battle for a starting berth.

The tabloids are quick to speculate on my future: Ronald Koeman and Olivier Frapolli are sacked by Toulouse and Lens respectively and I’m linked with both jobs, but I quickly refute the rumours. I didn’t get Auxerre up to the big time just to jump ship for another Ligue 1, or in Lens’ case Ligue 2 job. I want the challenge of keeping AJA in the division. I need it and I owe it to the club. The new board are pretty pleased by my commitment.

There are a couple of awards dished out during the summer that I forgot to mention in my year 6 review: Firstly the Belgian Pro League B Player of the Year, in which our promising on loan playmaker Chancel Kasongo came in 3rd, and the Young Player of the Year, which he won. He’s certainly a prospect and one to keep in mind for the new season.

And then the Ligue 2 Manager of the Season award, for which I’m included on the 5 man shortlist. I send in my vote for Bourg manager Laurent Roussey, who eventually deservedly wins the award for the reasons I’ve listed before. Bourg should have been closer to dropping out of Ligue 2 than being promoted and he did a really terrific job.

Mamadou Doucouré was selected in Senegal’s final World Cup squad and was an unused sub for the first 2 group games as his nation thrashed Croatia and drew with South Korea, a result that left Senegal in the difficult position of having to get a result against Brazil or hoping that Croatia also mess up against the Koreans. Naturally, Mamadou was drafted in for the crunch match against the Brazilians and was actually OK against a front 3 of Gabriel Jesus, Vinícius Júnior and Neymar, but in the end the South Americans took a 2-0 win to knock the African side out at the group stage.

Screen Shot 2018-05-20 at 12.26.35

Doucouré’s contract with Mönchengladbach actually expires next summer so I’ve got a bit of a sneaky plan. I arrange another year-long loan for the centre back but this time I ask for the option to buy him at any point for his current release clause of £1.3M. That way if we do stay up this year and have a bit of money to spend next Summer, we’ll either be able to bring him in for free or for a snip if Mönchengladbach decide to extend his contract, like Platinum Stars did back in the day with Eliphas Thoahlane. That’s right, I’ve actually learned a lesson from past experience. Mönchengladbach accept and we secure the services of our excellent Senegalese centre back for another year and perhaps beyond.

146 1 21 doucoure signs

So with our first transfer of the 2022/23 season secured we also get our first offer for a player: Abdoulaye Sissako is wanted by Ajaccio, who came up with us via the playoffs. They make a bid that could rise to £1.5M but I reject it out of hand. I’ve said before that Sissako is my kind of player. He’s Auxerre’s Benjamim, he’s our Sinbad and what’s more he’s one of our core group of home grown players. I won’t give him up without a fight.

146 1 16 rej sissako bid.png

In fact this seems like as good a time as any to hand out lucrative new deals to keep some of our best and brightest happy. Sissako gets a new contract along with Hicham Aidir, Phil Foden and Joël Soumahoro, while youth players Brahim Ferhat, Gaizka Basauri, Paul Lefevre, Chancel Kasongo, Serge Bamba, Georges Bailly, Abdoulaye Traoré, Alessandro Bassani, Tristan Dubois, Marc François, Ed Bolton and Daniel Garza are also either given new deals or have their contract extensions triggered. I want some of these young talents in and around the squad this year.

Speaking of young holding man Basauri, I’m sending him off on loan to Groupe Sportif Consolat in Ligue 2 so that he can get a bit of quality football. If he improves like some of the first team squad did last year he might even be ready for Ligue 1 next year.

146 1 34 basauri moves

The next job I’m linked with gives me actual pause for thought: The Middlesbrough job. Middlesbrough recently finished top of the Championship under Ryan Giggs, but he got immediately snapped up by Crystal Palace, leaving Boro managerless in the Premier League. In the end though I decide to distance myself and commit to AJA once again. It’s still an ambition to move back to Blighty but the time’s still not right.

We say goodbye this Summer to a player that by all accounts has been truly fantastic for Auxerre and I’m kind of sad that I missed seeing him play in his pomp when he set all of those records. Jérôme Mombris is hanging up his boots and has agreed to join Valenciennes as the manager of their reserve side. I decide not to offer him a contract here as I’ve already got a full house of more experienced staff, but he’s definitely got potential as a coach and I’ll be keeping an eye on him.

So it’s about time we take stock of who we have, who we need to bring in and who we can let go. At the minute, these are the players that I think are good enough for the first team.

Goalkeepers: Xavier Lenogue, Bingourou Kamara, Anthony Gasnier

Defenders: Issa Samba, Ruben Aguilar, Captiste, Mamadou Doucouré, Mike Kakuba, Isaac Sohna, Faouzi Hikem, Billy

Midfielders: Loïc Goujon, Raf, Abdoulaye Sissako, Lamine Fomba, Joël Soumahoro, Chancel Kasongo, Phil Foden, Alessandro Bassani, Zoun, Adama Ba

Strikers: Hicham Aidir, Florian Ayé, Nathan Andre, Brahim Ferhat

Obviously you can never predict what kind of a part injuries, suspensions and whatever else are going to play but I think that’s pretty much our squad for the new season, so there’s a few things to note: Firstly, I don’t think we’re particularly weak in any area although we will obviously be going up against an entirely new level of opposition so some extra quality in the squad definitely wouldn’t go amiss. Secondly, Corentin Tirard is on the transfer list and is not in my thinking for the new season. I really thought when I joined that he’d be one of our key players but he’s reminded me more and more of Marco Aurélio at Angrense (Top marks if anybody remembers him): Full of promise, full of ability (ish) but the performances for me just haven’t been there so he’s not going to get into my squad.

Screen Shot 2018-05-20 at 13.21.05.png

Finally, I’ve already mentioned the financial difficulties that we’re going to have this season. Dennis Sundberg has said that our main goal is avoiding automatic relegation, which is probably fair, so he’s giving us £2 Million to spend, although a lot of that is going to have to go on wages as we’re already maxing out our £200k wage budget. I imagine that we’ll have about £1M to spend on players, maximum. We are going to receive about £11M through TV revenue this Season though which should put us in a good position next year.

Because of these restrictions, I’m going to be leaning into the proud Auxerrois tradition of blooding young players from the academy to provide reinforcements. It’s definitely a risky strategy but I think it’s our only option and personally I’m quite excited by the prospect of flying in the face of the modern way of spending money to succeed. Most of our current squad is made of academy graduates anyway so it should at least be easy to ingratiate the youngsters into a team who’ve already been in their position. Saying that, although there’s not much value in the transfer market this Summer there are 2 roles I would quite like to fill: A set piece specialist, because even though Phil Foden did a fine job with them last year I feel like set pieces could be the difference between going down and staying up this season and I want to maximise our efficiency from them with someone who can hit a fantastic corner or free kick. I’d also like to bring in an experienced old head to sit in front of our defence and conduct the team. Someone who’s been there, done that and can offer a calm authority on the pitch for what is an extremely young Auxerre team. Somebody who can pull the strings from a deep position and organise our defence and midfield, shout and scream and make sure everybody’s doing their job. If you remember Brian Clough’s Derby County or have ever seen “The Damned United” (Which you should, it’s fantastic), I’m looking for a Dave MacKay… Although hopefully a Dave MacKay that won’t pinch my job. I’ve had my scouts looking for somebody to fit the bill but at the minute this looks like it might be a difficult get, so Captiste is training as a defensive midfielder in case we can’t find anyone.

146 1 22 season draws near

So with our transfer strategy in place and our scouts scurrying around with the unenviable task of finding me 2 Ligue 1 quality players for under £1M, it’s time to start thinking about fixtures. The schedule’s released for the new season and it looks like we’ll be bookending our year with matches against FC Lorient and we’ll be travelling to their place on the opening day. I quite like this for a couple of reasons. Firstly, although Lorient are a good team there are definitely more difficult starts we could have, and secondly FC Lorient have among their number a striker named Augustin Rostand.

146 1 35 fixtures announced.png

I’d be surprised if you remember Augustin, but after my first season in Lansdowne I went out looking for a top striker, scouring Africa for the right one. In the end of course I came away with Hicham Aidir and I think we can all agree that that was a fantastic and pretty fortunate piece of business, but me and Hicham could’ve never crossed paths. He was my second choice after Augustin. Unfortunately for the Cameroon international he might’ve taken too big a step up from Unisport in his home nation, opting to head straight for the glitz and glamour of Ligue 1 over Santos and his career has since faltered. In the past 2 years, Hicham Aidir’s scored 55 goals for me in competitive matches, whereas Rostand’s game time has been limited and he’s managed just 6 for his club, starting in the first team just 4 times. If he does get a game against us I’ll be very interested to see which striker comes out on top.

Screen Shot 2018-05-20 at 13.44.34.png

Screen Shot 2018-05-20 at 13.47.31.png

I’ve also arranged our friendlies ahead of the new season: As has become the norm we’ll start with matches against the Under 19’s and second string, before travelling to Switzerland to take on Schaffhausen, then a home match against Romanian First Division side CS U Craiova and an away tie at French CFA side SC Schiltigheim. From there and with fitness levels rising we’ll start to ramp up the difficulty with a trip to Championship side Reading and then 3 home matches against Bundesliga outfit Ingolstadt and Premier League clubs Chelsea and Tottenham. There’s some extremely challenging matches in there and they should help us to gage how we’ll start a very tough season.

146 1 42 friendlies arranged.png

A few more young players are heading out on loan: Paul Lefevre and Abdoulaye Traoré’s loan deals are being extended at Fethiyespor and SO Romorantin respectively, while the latter are also taking Marc François for the season. All 3 youngsters are fairly promising but it’s too soon to try them in Ligue 1 and they’ll be better served getting consistent game time.

When the time comes for our first pre-season friendly I don’t have my full squad available, what with last year’s loanees not yet having returned and Mamadou Doucouré knackered after his time with Senegal. We go with our attacking Project: Meatloaf that served us so well last year and the lads thoroughly enjoy demolishing our poor youth team 6-0. Foden and Joël both hit the woodwork and Joël has a goal disallowed, but eventually Foden finds the breakthrough, Zoun adds a second and Florian Ayé hits the other 4 after coming on as a half time sub. Impressive.

146 1 44 post 1.png

The day after the match I complete my Continental A coaching badge, meaning I’m just missing the Pro license now. I can’t see myself being able to start my studies any time soon with Auxerre’s awful finances being what they are, but it’s exciting that I’m developing as a coach and opening up avenues to potentially bigger clubs in the future.

146 1 46 quals

146 1 47 me

Our next friendly is always my favourite: The match against our second string, a fantastic opportunity for up to 33 players to impress me. Hicham bruises his shin before the game and misses out along with Phil Foden, who’s not fit enough after the last match. Captiste starts us off by hitting a fantastic free kick into the net from the edge of the box and it looks like we’re going to see out the game 1-0 with a dominant performance, but 20 minutes from time Faouzi Hikem receives a second yellow for what I personally thought was a superb slide tackle on Djiby Ba inside the box. Adama Ba (No relation) steps up to convert the spot kick and equalise for the reserves. I won’t hold that against Hikem, as I say I thought it was a great tackle.

146 1 49 post 2.png

Chancel Kasongo is a player that I really want to be able to introduce to the squad this season after his heroics at Tubize, but to be honest we’ve already got more than enough central midfielders for this season and it’s looking increasingly likely that I’ll be signing at least 1 more, so with a whole host of clubs from France, Belgium and Turkey interested in taking him on loan I let him head out to Alanyspor in the Super League. Good luck, Chancel. If you make that step up as well as you did in Belgium and I’m still around next season I promise I’ll give you a go in the Auxerre squad.

Swiss challenge league side FC Schaffhausen are up next and we head over with Project: Meatloaf Mk II locked and loaded and Doucouré back in the starting line up to start his second season in the white and blue. Jean-Pat Brantschen gets the hosts off to an early lead with a tidy finish, but Phil Foden equalises before the half hour with a curling free kick. The tie seems to be fizzling out after another extremely dominant AJA performance but with 8 minutes of normal time to play, Ayé hammers our 2nd right into the top corner, nearly ripping a hole straight through the net in the process. A few minutes later Zoun cuts in from the left as he does and curls a 3rd into the far corner to give the scoreline a bit of deserved gloss.

146 1 53 post 3.png

Worryingly Aidir picks up a 2nd knock in quick succession during the match but thankfully he’ll only miss another few days.

146 1 54 aidir inj.png

Another youngster moves out on loan after the Schaffhausen game: Amine Chassaing is a lad that I thought could be really special last Summer, but he doesn’t seem to be progressing very well and I worry about his attitude and work ethic. Hopefully a year in Ligue 2 with US Créteils-Lusitanos will sort him out and get him on the right track.

As we move into mid-July I think I’ve found one of my transfer targets, although as I say there isn’t much value for us in the transfer market this Summer and he’ll probably cost more than I’d like to pay. Fabian McCarthy is a 19 year old South African international currently plying his trade for my old rivals Ajax Cape Town. He’s primarily a number 10 but can also play as a central midfielder. His free kicks aren’t much better than Foden’s but I’ve not been able to find anyone who ticks both boxes and Fabian’s corners at least are very good. He’s a playmaker and would probably be vying with Joël Soumahoro for a starting berth, with his main strengths being excellent pace, technique and first touch, as well as excellent mental fortitude with regard to things like his composure, ability to pick out a pass, determination, flair and teamwork. My initial £500k bid is rejected out of hand by his contracted club, so I leak my interest to the press in an effort to unsettle the lad and make him force a move. Usually I wouldn’t stoop to such underhand tactics but at the end of the day… Fuck Ajax CT.

146 1 62 mccarthy

146 1 60 chasing mccarthy

I give McCarthy time to stew on the prospect of moving to Ligue 1 and turn my attention to Isaac Sohna, who’s wanted by Stade de Reims in Ligue 2. I had wanted to keep him around this year but regular football at Stade de Reims would be a huge step up from Nîmes, where he spent last year. Reims finished in 4th place in the division last season, just 2 points behind AC Ajaccio. After I accept Stade de Reims’ bid the floodgates open though with offers from Switzerland and Turkey. Eventually I send him off to the club that I see as his best option of playing time in a quality side: Karabükspor, who finished 6th in the Super League last season. I also draught Fabian Fonrose into the first team as Isaac’s replacement. The young Frenchman didn’t end up getting much football when I did exactly the same thing this time last year, but I need a 4th choice centre back and he is certainly that.

While we’re on outgoings, the calls haven’t exactly been flooding in for Corentin Tirard, which is making me increasingly worried that he’s going to have to rot away in the reserves, leeching £10k a week off the wage bill. ESTAC Troyes do put in a loan bid but they can only offer to pay 10% of his wages, which doesn’t seem worth it from our side. Plus we’d be strengthening a rival and who wants that?

146 1 58 tirard bid

Our next match pits us against Craiova and it’s another routine pre-season victory, with Zoun blasting in the only goal from 20 yards just before half time. I am getting a bit worried that Hicham Aidir’s yet to a open his account though as he usually loves pre-season and scores goals for fun. Ayé’s been the much stronger option up front so far.

146 1 59 post 4.png

My plan to rattle Fabian McCarthy doesn’t work as well as I’d like and Ajax CT seem to be holding firm on their stance of not wanting him to leave, so I resort to meeting his £675k release clause and offer him a contract. It’s more than I’ve ever paid for a player and is frankly more than I’d want to pay for him, so I hope he proves to be worth it.

146 1 63 mccarthy bid acc

A trip to SC Schiltigheim is next on the pre-season agenda and I field a less than full strength side. As you’d expect, we still dominate the match entirely but don’t find the breakthrough until 10 minutes from time when Aguilar launches a cross to the far post from deep on the right wing and Hicham nods the ball back across goal and into the net. It’s a big relief to see him off the mark and as a final touch, Phil Foden volleys home from close range with a few minutes to go to double our advantage.

146 1 64 post 5

The win comes at a price though: Adama Ba has to come off 20 minutes into the friendly with a sprained ankle and will miss up to a month of pre-season, which is a considerable set back as we try to get everyone up to peak fitness for the first competitive match.

146 1 65 ba inj

The rumours of my possible departure have been easy to distance myself from so far this Summer but out of the blue, Switzerland come calling and offer me the opportunity of being the head coach of their national side. They obviously saw how successful I was in their neighbouring nation of Liechtenstein. I’m honestly extremely flattered as it’s as big a job as I’ve been offered, but I turn it down. I want to focus completely on Auxerre this year and it’d take a really massive opportunity to change my mind on that.

146 1 66 swiss offer.png

I’ve finally made my first permanent signing of the window. Fabien McCarthy is in and he’s my new record signing. It’s nice to be able to bully Ajax CT like we have done, albeit largely on their terms, but it’ll be even nicer if Fabien can swing in a few perfect corners this season and rack up some assists. He’s carrying a sprained ankle at the minute but he should be able to join up with the rest of the squad in full training pretty soon.

With the start of the season edging ever closer we travel to Reading and battle to a hard earned 1-1 draw, with Brahim Ferhat opening the scoring from close range from a 26th minute Foden cross, before Joel Mann equalises after the hour. New signing McCarthy gets a 15 minute cameo at the end to build his fitness.

146 1 70 post 6.png

A few days later we’re back at Stade l’Abbé Deschamps entertaining Bundesliga side Ingolstadt. Phil Foden bags the opener himself this time before the half hour mark and then McCarthy opens his account from the bench 13 minutes before full time, reaching a driven cross from Fomba and powering the ball home to score his first goal in an Auxerre shirt and give us a deserved 2-0 win.

146 1 81 post 7.png

Anthony Gasnier and Georges Bailly become the latest youngsters to head out on loan to US Ivry Football and US Créteil-Lusitanos respectively. They’re both decent young players, but neither of them are at the level we’ll need this year.

As July draws to a close the hype continues to build ahead of the new Ligue 1 season. The title odds make us long shots to win it all at 1000-1 and joint favourites to go straight back down with the other 2 promoted sides, which is predictable enough. The bookies also release the odds on who’ll top the league’s goalscoring charts at the end of the year, with Nathan Andre apparently our best bet at a modest 700-1. None of our players feature at all in the Top Player betting.

146 1 85 title odds146 1 85 title odds 2

146 1 88 top gs odds

146 1 89 top player odds

With a new season we also have some brand new squad numbers! First of all, Xavier Lenogue’s grating number 16 shirt is given to Abdoulaye Sissako. Xavier’s been the number 1 around here for a while now so I make that official by giving him Bingourou Kamara’s jersey, while the backup keeper takes the number 13. Mike Kakuba is our new number 4, Doucouré gets number 5, McCarthy takes 25 and Aidir and Andre swap, with the Moroccan taking the number 9 and the Frenchman settling for the number 20. Finally, pacy wideman Zoun swaps his number 6 shirt, the source of a near-mutiny by the Auxerre faithful last Summer, for Fomba’s number 7, which will no doubt prompt a barrage of support and admiration for me from those very same fans. Hint hint.

146 1 86 squad numbers146 1 86 squad numbers 2

Equipped with our shiny new numbers we clean Stade l’Abbé Deschamps from top to bottom and I put on my Sunday best for the visit of Unai Emery’s Chelsea. They’ve got a fantastic team featuring 3 world cup winners; Captain Aymeric Laporte, tough tackling midfielder N’Golo Kanté and promising striker Noé Guillot. Coincidentally we’re also facing Federico Bernadeschi for the second pre-season in a row. He did a job against us for Pep’s PSG last Summer and he’s just signed for Emery’s side for £36M. We bring out Project: Burnie Mk III against Chelsea’s 4-4-2.

146 1 87 chelsea formations.png

Chelsea dominate the first half and take the lead just as I’m hoping we’ll get to half time unscathed. The break’s only 2 minutes away when they pacy Guillot leaves Doucouré for dead and blasts the ball past Lenogue. We get the ball in the back of the net when Captiste heads McCarthy’s free kick past Marvin Schwäbe, but our captain’s judged to have fouled as he jumped and the goal’s chalked off. 5 minutes later Laporte doubles the visitors’ advantage from a Guillot cross and with a few minutes to play substitute Luke Wright adds a third. It’s a deserved win for Chelsea but to be fair I think the scoreline flatters them. We put in a good showing and I’m pleased enough with the performance.

146 1 87 chelsea post.png

The very last piece of Summer admin takes me all of 2 seconds – To keep Captiste and Aidir as captain and vice-captain. They deserve to keep their roles and lead us into Ligue 1 together.

146 1 90 captains.png

Our ultimate friendly promises to be just as tough as the penultimate. Pochettino’s Spurs line up with a 4-2-3-1 and we set up cautiously with Project: Meatloaf Mk II.

146 1 92 tottenham formations.png

It’s another even game and another loss, but again the performance is pleasing enough to give me hope. We never manage to come back from Enrico Botta’s close range finish after 15 minutes though.

146 1 93 tottenham post.png

I’ve surprised myself this Summer you know. I’ve not spent longer than 2 years at any club I’ve managed so far in my career, but a lot of the decisions I’ve been making have been with next year in mind. I don’t know how long I’ll be in Auxerre, I suppose it’ll be until either I think my work’s been done or I’m sacked, but it’s interesting to realise that I’m thinking of the long term when I’ve always been quite a short term manager. Anyway let’s get started, shall we? This is going to be a bloody huge year.

Screen Shot 2018-05-20 at 17.26.14.png

Mini-sode 146.5 >

2022 World Cup – Canada (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Mini-sode 145.5.5.5.5)

Who can resist getting wrapped up in the drama, the chaos and the pure magic of a bloody World Cup?

Start from the start with episode 1

< Mini-sode 145.5.5.5

My coffee begins to cool as I tap and click and scroll away through Europe’s top leagues. They’re interesting, sure, but not nearly as interesting as what else has been going on this Summer. Who can resist getting wrapped up in the drama, the chaos and the pure magic of a bloody World Cup? The 2022 World Cup was originally scheduled to be held in Qatar, but the logistics of holding the tournament over there, battling temperatures that range from unreasonable to life threatening and moving the whole world’s footballing calendar to suit proved too great, so Canada became the host nation instead. The hosts were joined by Mexico, USA, Jamaica and Costa Rica as the North American qualifiers failed to throw up any serious upsets. Good on Jamaica though, it was nice to see them get to a major tournament.

Screen Shot 2018-05-11 at 10.36.24

The Asian qualifying groups were a little bit juicier – With would-be host nation Qatar falling at the second round hurdle, it was Japan, South Korea, Iraq, Saudi Arabia and Iran that eventually qualified. With Australia and New Zealand also failing to reach Canada, this is the first World Cup not to have an Oceanic contingent since USA ’94.

Screen Shot 2018-05-11 at 10.36.07

There were absolutely no major shocks in South America though where Brazil, Argentina and Uruguay lead the way to the finals. Chile and Paraguay also made it while Columbia missed out.

Screen Shot 2018-05-11 at 10.39.42

A lot of the usual suspects made it through the African qualifiers too: Senegal, Nigeria and the Ivory Coast were predictable enough but Cameroon didn’t even make it to the final round while Congo were Africa’s surprise package.

Screen Shot 2018-05-11 at 10.35.33Screen Shot 2018-05-11 at 10.35.48

And finally, Europe. Again, England were the only nation from the UK to qualify for the 2022 World Cup, although Wales came pretty close behind their Group leaders Ukraine. Belgium, Portugal, Croatia, Poland, England, Sweden, Germany, Italy and Switzerland won the other groups and Denmark, the Netherlands and France went through the playoffs. The shock absentees were Spain, who sacked Luis Enrique after his team couldn’t find a way past the Swedes in the group stage or the Dutch, who they faced in the playoffs.

Screen Shot 2018-05-11 at 10.36.45Screen Shot 2018-05-11 at 10.37.01Screen Shot 2018-05-11 at 10.39.14Screen Shot 2018-05-11 at 10.39.26

So there were a couple of shocks in the qualifiers but there were a couple more still to come. Group A of the finals is a fine example, where Paraguay topped the group and were joined in the next round by Iran, who both finished above Belgium! Canada finished bottom of that particular group, which I’ll grant you isn’t all that surprising. In Group C, Uruguay put in an uncharacteristically poor performance and finished dead last too, also losing all of their matches to Italy and Mexico, who went through, and Denmark. The rest of the groups were pretty much standard though. Sweden failed to continue their fine form from qualifying and were left behind with the majority of the Asian and African nations, while the Netherlands, Portugal, England, Chile, France, Japan, Germany, Poland, Brazil, Croatia, Argentina and the USA went through to the knockouts.

Screen Shot 2018-05-07 at 16.55.32Screen Shot 2018-05-07 at 16.55.56

There were few shocks in the second round: Joachim Löwe’s Germany, Levir Culpi’s Brazil, Danny Blind’s Netherlands, Massimiliano Allegri’s Italy and Arsene Wenger’s France all progressed, as did Marijan Vlak’s Croatia, who knocked out Leonardo Madelón’s Argentina in extra time. Paraguay, lead by Francisco Arce, went the furthest out of the “Underdog” nations, edging past Rui Vitória’s Portugal in the second round only to face the humiliation of being knocked out in the quarter finals by perennial under-performers England, who themselves had beaten Memo Vázquez Jr’s Mexico in the first knockout match under the steady guiding hand of Eddie Howe.

Elsewhere in the quarters, Croatia’s jubilation was short lived as France dumped them out of the competition and there were wins for Germany and Italy over Brazil and the Netherlands. Italy went out at the expense of France in one semi-final, while in the other a full blown miracle happened, making me really regret not watching the tournament live and instead looking up the results in a café after the fact: England knocked out Germany… Wait for it… In a penalty fucking shootout. Let the names of David Crammond, Dele Alli, Phil Jones, Eric Dier and Nathan Redmond be etched into the history books for the rest of time.

Screen Shot 2018-05-14 at 21.48.00

Screen Shot 2018-05-07 at 16.56.17

This set Howe’s Lions up for a thrilling final against Wenger’s… Roosters… At the Ottowa Community Stadium in Ontario and despite a late fight back and a brace scored by Stoke’s young prodigy Joe Bell, the French defended their title as World Champions, a feat that’s not been achieved since Brazil in ’62, a full 60 years ago. Kingsley Coman opened the scoring early on and was joined on the scoresheet by Kylian Mbappé and Antoine Griezmann before the 25 minute mark, giving France just enough of a cushion to see the game out at 3-2. Paul Pogba, the tournament’s Best Player in 2018, was instrumental once again, weighing in with 2 assists.

Screen Shot 2018-05-07 at 16.56.37

Screen Shot 2018-05-07 at 16.57.14

It was Pogba’s compatriot and scorer of the Cup-winning goal Kylian Mbappé that scooped the Best Player award this time around for his involvement in a staggering 9 goals in 7 games, 4 of which he scored himself. Dele Alli was a fair way behind in second place with Italian Daniele Rugani coming in 3rd.

Screen Shot 2018-05-15 at 20.37.32

Watford’s pacy Dutch winger Kenny ten Hove earned the Best Young Player award for his extremely promising performances for the Netherlands, while PSG’s Italian goalkeeper Gianluigi Donnarumma was the Best Goalkeeper.

The golden boot winner was a little bit of a surprise: Walter González of Paraguay and Al-Ahli scored 5 in 5 for his country and beat Italian Andre Belotti by virtue of having scored his 5 in 1 less match. Fellow Italy striker Simone Zaza was in 3rd place for his 4 goals, an impressive tally to say that he only made 3 appearances.

Screen Shot 2018-05-15 at 20.38.21

The Dream Team featured some exceptional talent, as you’d expect. Donnarumma was selected in goal with a defence of Spurs’ Eric Dier, Juve’s Leonardo Bonucci, Monaco’s Daniele Rugani and Barcelona’s Samuel Umtiti in front of him. In an all-Premier-League midfield, Manchester rivals Thomas Lemar of City and Kingsley Coman of United flank a midfield duo of Coman’s United teammate Filippo Melegoni and Spurs man Alli, while Walter González is joined by Arsenal and Brazil striker Roberto Firmino up front.

Screen Shot 2018-05-15 at 20.38.05

So vive la France once again! I’m so bloody proud to see an England team do so well in a tournament for once but I suppose it just wasn’t meant to be. Maybe they’ll get another shot next time? Or maybe France will make it an unprecedented 3 World Cup wins in a row? It’s a bit annoying that we’ll have to wait until USA 2026 to find out. As I reach out for my room temperature coffee my hand freezes in place. The small shopkeeper’s bell “Ding-a-ling”s as the door opens. Here he is. This should be interesting.

Episode 146 >

Year 6 World Roundup (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Mini-sode 145.5.5.5)

My annual look around the world of football.

Start from the start with episode 1

< Mini-sode 145.5.5

The small shopkeeper’s bell on the door “Ding-a-ling”s as I step into Perk de l’Abre Sec, my favourite little café on Rue des Carrières, just down the road from Stade l’Abbé-Deschamps. The young café owner behind the counter beams as I step in from the blistering Summer heat and rushes out to set my usual table. “Bonjour, Monsieur Franjo!” He says, dropping cutlery all over the table in his haste. I chuckle.

“Bonjour, Louis. I’ve got someone meeting me here in a little while. Point them in my direction when they get here, will you?”

“Of course!” Louis practically shouts as he scrambles across the gingham tablecloth to collect the spilt cutlery, “Who are you meeting? I’ll show them over as soon as they arrive!”

“You’ll know when you see him.” I smile as I take my seat. Louis nods sheepishly, picks up the remaining cutlery and scurries back behind the counter to prepare my usual.

It’s nice to be recognised sometimes. Last year I was able to walk around Auxerre with complete anonymity. A few people would come over to take a selfie or whatever after we avoided relegation, but that was about it. This Summer’s completely different though. The whole of Auxerre knows my name and most of them know my face. I get stopped on the way to the corner shop, I get stopped on my way to training. It’s nice. I can see why it’d get on your nerves after a while, but for now I’m enjoying it. And I’m definitely enjoying the VIP treatment I’m getting at Perk de l’Abre Sec.

I unsheathe my laptop from it’s case, blow the dust off the lid and open it on the table as Louis places my white sugarless coffee and already-cut-up-and-buttered croissant on the table in front of me. I thank him politely and open up a browser to begin my annual look around the world of football.

Screen Shot 2018-05-07 at 16.16.15

It’s 3 on the spin for José “Manager of the Year” Mourinho’s Red Devils in the new top division in Europe, the Premier League and in a display of remarkable consistency United finished with the exact same number of points and goal difference as last year, while Ancelotti’s Arsenal have done their very best to emulate Chelsea’s total from last season but fell short by 2 goals. Still, it was a close title race between those 2 with Pochettino’s Spurs and Emery’s Chelsea not far behind. Ernesto Valverde’s Liverpool finished in a Europa League spot while City struggled once again. The Citizens sacked Javi Gracia in February and I’m absolutely delighted to note that they gave Interim boss Lee Carsley until at least the end of the Season. The ex-Ireland international is an actual childhood icon of mine and one of the main inspirations behind “The Franjo Mould”, so it pleases me no end to see him in such a great position.

Screen Shot 2018-05-07 at 19.42.27

Carsley’s old club Everton finished just below the European places again under Pioli, but to be honest I’m just glad they’re out of the habit of nearly getting relegated every season. While Mazzarri’s Watford slid 5 places to finish 12th this season, they actually won the EFL Cup and grab the last Europa League spot. Marco Silva took his recently promoted Swansea team all the way up to 11th and missed out on all the fun of the final day relegation scrap, where Stevie Crawford’s Derby could’ve leapfrogged up to 3 sides with a win over the Swans but were sent straight back down with a draw, sparing the blushes of Rob Page’s Sunderland and Terry Boyle’s Hull, either of whom could very easily have dropped down themselves. Alex Neil’s Brighton and Hove Albion side had their 4 year top flight spell ended with time to spare, while former Premier League Champions Leicester City finished bottom of the pile thanks to a calamitous combination of management from Giovanni van Bronckhorst, Matt Goodwin and John Kennedy. I’m also not sure how much of a coincidence it is that the Foxes have capitulated in the season following the retirements of stalwarts Kasper Schmeichel, Christian Fuchs and Jamie Vardy.

Screen Shot 2018-05-07 at 16.16.56

In the Premier League Players’ Team of the Season, Golden Glove winner David de Gea is the first on the team sheet. Courtois and Butland of Chelsea and Arsenal were the closest things the Spaniard had to competition but in the end they were both a long way off. In defence Tottenham’s Toby Alderweireld makes it in for the 3rd consecutive season and Chelsea’s Laporte makes it 5 appearances in a row. They’re joined by Team of the Year noobies Mário Fernandes of United and Ben Davies of Spurs. City’s De Bruyne is back in midfield to make it 5 years out of 6 and even though he was consistently one of the League’s best players in terms of rating, assists and Player of the Match awards, everyone still disagrees on how his name should be pronounced. KDB’s team mate Isco also makes the cut with United’s Paul Pogba and Spurs’ top assister and Footballer of the Year Delle Alli. Harry Kane’s unlucky to miss out after banging in 20 goals for Tottenham but he was left out for West Ham’s Jonathan Calleri, who was the League’s top goalscorer and Paulo Dybala, who was widely accepted as the best player in the league, which is backed up by his Players’ Player of the Year award.

Screen Shot 2018-05-07 at 16.20.11

My “Managerial Move of the Season” award goes to Brian McDermott, who brought Portsmouth up to the Championship last season, jumped ship at Christmas for the QPR job and leapfrogged both his old club and Sheffield Wednesday with a final day win that sealed his new side’s survival on goal difference. Incredible. But look at me focussing on Championship relegation, coming up to the top flight next year are Ryan Giggs’ Middlesbrough, who end a 5 year spell in the Championship, Norwich, who appointed David Wright after Chris Hughton was made Ireland manager and Gareth Ainsworth’s Fulham, who’ve been down for 3 years and actually didn’t have a prayer of promotion before he was swiped from Millwall in April. Under Gareth, Fulham immediately ended former gaffer Stanimir Stoilov’s horrible 3 month winless streak and went unbeaten for the last 10 games to sneak in via the playoffs.

Screen Shot 2018-05-07 at 16.20.36

Last time Real Madrid won the title I was optimistically dragging my suitcase onto a Katowice-bound flight after going the season unbeaten with Angrense. That feels like an absolute lifetime ago but at last they lift the La Liga title once again. Marcelino deserting them to take the Spain job was probably the best thing that could’ve happened for Madrid, who gave former Real and Man City coach Rodolfo Borrell his first job as Manager after he impressed as interim boss. He looks very, very good.

Screen Shot 2018-05-07 at 20.34.13

Borrell’s side only lost once in the league under him to title rivals Barcelona, but in the end Manager of the Year Jürgen Klopp’s Catalonians were edged by a single point. Didier Deschamps’ Atleti were disappointing and ended up 9 points behind Barça in 3rd, the lowest they’ve finished since 2016, while Bilbao recovered well after Guillermo Amor’s poor first season in charge to finish in the final Champions League spot. Rubén Baraja’s Valencia and Zinedine Zidane’s Villarreal also recovered from bad seasons to finish in the Europa League spots with Marcelo Gallardo’s Sevilla. Zizou’s been picked up by Juve since, but we’ll come to that in a bit.

Screen Shot 2018-05-07 at 16.20.51

The one year that Real Madrid win the title, the Team of the Season actually seems curiously Galactico-less, but never mind. Marc-André ter Stegen won the Goalkeeper of the Year award and a place in the Team of the Season with team mates Sergi Roberto and 35 year old Gerard Piqué, who’s still somehow putting in top class performances despite having all the pace of a broken down pedalo sailing majestically down a scenic country road. They’re joined in defence by Real’s Raphaël Guerreiro and Raphaël “5-inclusions-in-a-row” Varane. Atletico Madrid’s Saúl earns his second inclusion in a row in midfield for his league-high 14 assists with teammate Koke, while the pair are flanked by Barcelona’s Rafinha and Neymar. 34 year old Player of the Season Leo Messi makes the cut for the 6th year in a row and is joined by former Valencia sharpshooter Simone Zaza, who was the league’s top scorer.

Screen Shot 2018-05-07 at 16.23.32

Presumably you were thinking the same thing I was after the last Bundesliga season: Bayern Munich could really do with a bigger lead at the top. Thankfully Manager of the Year Diego Simeone and his side obliged and celebrated their literal decade of unbroken Bundesliga dominance by finishing 8 points clear of Thomas Tuchel’s Dortmund, who were back in 2nd place above Roger Schmidt’s Bayer Leverkusen. Dare I say it though below the bottom 3, the Bundesliga was borderline interesting this year. Ralph Hasenhüttl’s Köln and Sergiy Rebrov’s Mönchengladbach both reclaimed Europa League places after a couple of years out along with Markus Babbel’s Leipzig, Peter Stöger’s Mainz were agonisingly close to their own surprise European place and even though André Schubert’s Schalke and Bruno Labbadia’s Stuttgart both slid a fair way down the table, their declines were nothing compared to Hamburg, who absolutely fell apart in Markus Gisdol’s 6th season in charge and survived relegation by the skin of their teeth via the playoff after finishing 7th last year.

Screen Shot 2018-05-07 at 16.23.51

The 2021/22 Bundesliga season must have been directed by M Night Shyamalan because in the mother of all twist endings, the Team of the Year, especially in defence, is dominated by Bayern Munich players. Sorry, I’m getting all sarcastic and bitter but I’m just so fucking bored of Bayern Munich. Why can’t they just be shit? Even if it’s just for a year? One day I’ll go into the Bundesliga and take them down, mark my words. Anyway, where was I… Right, so Dortmund’s £18M Summer signing Bernd Leno earned himself a place between the sticks in the Players’ Team of the Year, while Bayern’s entire back 4 made it into the team too. That’s Benjamin Henrichs, Mats Hummels, Jérôme Boateng and David Alaba. Thomas Müller also makes it in, because obviously and alongside him is Footballer and Players’ Player of the Year Leon Goretzka. Kai Havertz and Emil Forsberg both get a place for the 3rd straight year while Hertha’s Lars Stindl backs up lone striker and the League’s top scorer Michael Mohammed of Bayer.

Screen Shot 2018-05-07 at 16.26.40

Sticking with my point about boring teams, thank you Antonio Conte. Thank you so much. When you headed back to Turin I thought that it was the end of any notion of variation in Serie A. I thought that Juve would be back at the top for years on end, but this season they slumped to 4th place, the lowest they’ve finished in 11 years. Manager of the Year Ramón Diaz took AC Milan charging back to the top for their 2nd title win in 3 years, closely followed by Spalletti’s Roma and Vincenzo Italiano’s Fiorentina. Juve have since installed club legend Zizou in an attempt to change their fortunes. He’s had relative success in La Liga with Real and Villarreal, but he really stunk up the Premier League with City, so it’s going to be interesting to see how he does. Oleg Luzhnyi’s Inter and Claude Makélélé’s Napoli retained their Europa League places along with surprise package Genoa, who were masterminded up to 7th by Managers’ Manager of the Year Andrea Stramaccioni and it’s also worth mentioning that Lazio have finally managed to scrape their way back up to Serie A at the 2nd time of asking by finishing 7th in Serie B and qualifying through the play offs.

Screen Shot 2018-05-07 at 16.27.03

Juve’s defensive 5 of Goalkeeper of the Year Gerónimo Rulli, Nacho, Alex Sandro, William Carvalho and Defender, Player and Fans’ Player of the Year Leonardo Bonucci all made the Team of the Season alongside Martín Montoya of the Champions Milan. In midfield, Midfielder and Foreign Player of the Year Marcelo Brozovic of Inter got in with Roma’s Lucas Torreira, who they swiped from Sampdoria in the Summer for a mere £7M. Up front are Italian Player of the Year Accursio Bentivegna and Striker of the Year and Top Goalscorer Duván Zapata, both of Milan, as well as Roma’s Mo Salah.

Screen Shot 2018-05-07 at 16.29.31

Now then. Here we go. My new stomping ground, Ligue 1. That’s still quite strange to think about. José Barros and his Monaco side are the new kings of France after dethroning Pep’s PSG to end the Parisians’ 3 year stranglehold on the division. Roberto Mancini… My palms get slightly sweaty as I read through more and more of the Managers I’ll be facing in the coming season… Roberto Mancini’s Marseille swiped the last Champions League spot from Jocelyn Gourvennec’s Lyon, who have to settle for a Europa League place with Michel Der Zakarian’s Bordeaux, who knocked us out of the French Cup 10th round this year, and Yves Bertucci’s Guingamp. At the other end of the table Frédéric Hantz’s Nantes, which has a nice ring to it, Alaixys Romao’s Lille and Denis Renaud’s Saint-Etienne all fell away after good showings in the previous season, with the latter 2 clubs only just avoiding relegation. Saint-Etienne actually had to beat Olivier Frapolli’s Lens on the final day to sneak past them on goal difference. Lens then went on to get absolutely hammered by AC Ajaccio in the playoff, resigning them to Ligue 2, where they’ll be joined by Jean-Marie Huriez’s Bastia and Fabien Mercadal’s Montpellier, a side that I was quite heavily linked to earlier in the season. We won’t meet any of those 3… This year at least.

Screen Shot 2018-05-07 at 16.29.51

The Ligue 1 XI of the Season is comprised almost exclusively of Monaco players. There’s Goalkeeper of the Season Sergio Rico, defenders Almamy Touré, Daniele Rugani and José Giménez, midfielders Fabinho and Thomas Lemar, Kylian M’Bappé and winner of the Best Player and Star of the Season awards Bernardo Silva. PSG make up the numbers with Toni Lato, Mateo Kovacic and Florin Andone, although oddly there’s no room for the League’s top goalscorer or assister, which was Lyon’s Yussuf Poulsen and PSG’s Gelson Martins respectively.

It was a year to remember in the Europa League for Jason Tindall’s Bournemouth, who matched fellow English side Arsenal in getting to the Quarter Finals where they were knocked out on penalties by eventual finalists Inter, who were in turn beaten at the Red Bull Arena in Leipzig by Sporting Lisbon, who finished 4th in this year’s Liga Nos. The final itself was actually godawful. An incredibly cagey match with few chances that was decided by a goal from Brazilian Léo Jabá in the 73rd minute.

Screen Shot 2018-05-07 at 16.32.55

Screen Shot 2018-05-07 at 16.33.28

Screen Shot 2018-05-08 at 18.09.34

The Champions League was won by Bayern, who really know how to get on my tits today, don’t they. They fought past Juve, Manchester United and Spurs to face Chelsea, who had an arguably much tougher run to the final of Barcelona, Paris Saint-Germain and Dortmund. The final was very similar to the Europa League final though. Not much action, chances at a premium. At least 3 goals were scored at the San Siro though with Andrea Belotti’s opener immediately cancelled out by Mauro Icardi, but Bayern got the decider before half time through André Silva.

Screen Shot 2018-05-07 at 16.33.50

Screen Shot 2018-05-07 at 16.34.08

I said last year that I felt like I was knocking on the door. With a season in the company of the likes of Pep Guardiola, José Barros and Roberto Mancini ahead, that door’s been flung right open.

Mini-sode 145.5.5.5.5 >

Year 6 Review (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Mini-sode 145.5.5)

Let’s have a look back at year 6.

Start from the start with episode 1

< Mini-sode 145.5

Well, we left it late didn’t we. There was something so extraordinarily “Franjo” about the way we fucked up just enough to allow the season to end in such dramatic fashion. There were definite hints of Katowice about it all and I’m not talking about the amount of wodka I went through towards the end. Let’s have a look back at year 6.

Association de la Jeunesse Auxerroise

Final Position: Champions

Record: W27 D5 L11

Key Players: Xavier Lenogue, Issa Samba, Baptiste “Captiste” Aloé, Mamadou Doucouré, Phil Foden, Joël Soumahoro, Hicham Aidir

Highlight: The 4-0 win against Bourg-en-Bresse after Christmas

Lowlight: The end of season dip in form

It’s been an odd old year, hasn’t it. This is the second time I’ve experienced a title win, the first being in my 2nd year as a manager with SC Angrense. Maybe I’ve just got rose-tinted specs on, but I remember that one seeming a lot more straight forward – Hurley to Kevin, Kevin to Magina, Magina scores. Repeat infinite times until victory. This one’s been a lot more up and down. We’ve spent a lot of time playing second fiddle to Bourg-en-Bresse, who really were worthy adversaries and kept me on my toes. We’ve also been by no means infallible, which is a major difference between Auxerre and Angrense. Angrense it seemed could do not wrong but this year we took it right down to the wire, climbing up to the top 4 minutes before the end of the season thanks to another club’s goal. Next year there’ll be 2 divisions separating us and our saviours USBCO. Nevertheless despite all the off-field stuff, I don’t think I’ve enjoyed a year in management quite as much as I’ve enjoyed this one.

145.5.5 1 2 best xi 1

145.5.5 1 2 best xi 2

I’ll be honest, it disappoints me a little to see that Ruben Aguilar is voted our Player of the Year by the Auxerre faithful. He’s not been awful by a long stretch but he’s not even been in my first team for most of the season. Fair play to him though, he stepped up when called upon to play at the unfamiliar position of left back and he does have an incredible relationship with the fans, which I’m sure helped him to win a third of their votes and edge out Hicham Aidir and Mamadou Doucouré. I’ve got no complaints about Adama Ba’s thunderbolt against Nîmes winning the goal of the season however and I absolutely can’t argue with Hicham Aidir picking up both the Signing of the Season and Young Player of the Season awards. I forget that he’s only 21 and still improving. Bloody hell.

145.5.5 1 3 awards 1

As we know, Hicham also had the highest average rating, most Player of the Match awards and scored the most goals for us this season. His 30 goals is a new Auxerre record and one that I think only he himself has a chance of breaking. Joël Soumahoro set up the most goals with 14, while Abdoulaye Sissako completed the highest percentage of passes and Loïc Goujon picked up the most yellow cards and a single red, along with Raf and Fomba. I’m proud of Loïc. He had to keep his head down a fair bit until the last few months of the season, but unlike our Player of the Season he didn’t moan about it and when he did get a chance to come in he did extremely well. I’ve let him fly under the radar a bit when I should’ve praised him, so good lad, Loïc.

145.5.5 1 3 awards 2

145.5.5 1 4 season review

145.5.5 1 5 confidence

So let’s crunch some numbers. Some of the stats about Auxerre come as no surprise given the records our players have picked up this year: We’ve scored the most goals (70), Kept the most clean sheets (19) and fouled more than any other team, something that’s inexplicably becoming a sort of calling card for my teams.

We’ve also, not really surprisingly either, had the most shots on target (251), conceded the 2nd least in the league (31) and completed the 4th most dribbles per match (21).

But then there are some stats that few would have predicted and they may well hold the secret to our success this season. As you know I favour mental strength, work ethic and physical dominance above all things in footballers, so we do have a lot of aggressive, never-say-die types and that’s probably why we’ve fouled so bloody much. But we also have a very tall and powerful squad (Not counting Joël and Phil) and that’s been a major strength of ours at both ends. Auxerre have completed the 5th highest percentage of crosses (11%) in the league, scored the 4th highest amount of goals from corners (5), the 2nd highest from indirect free kicks (8), won the 2nd highest amount of headers (2078) and we’ve not conceded a single goal from an indirect free kick, a statistic only equalled by Stade de Reims, who’ve had the best defence in the league.

In terms of individual players I’ll start from the back and move forwards. Firstly though, this team have been extremely impressive on the whole. I’ve banged on and on about some of them but they really have impressed me that much. 6 of our players were in the top 7 in the league in terms of their average ratings. In order: Hicham Aidir, Mamadou Doucouré, Issa Samba, Captiste, Joël Soumahoro and Phil Foden, take a bow, you magnificent bastards. Five of our own are selected in the Domino’s Ligue 2 XI of the Season, with Doucouré, Joël, Phil and Hicham joined by Faouzi Hikem, while we also had five in the presumably completely different Domino’s Ligue 2 Stars Team of the Season, where Joël, Phil and Hicham are joined by Issa and Captiste.

Xavier Lenogue ended up being the 2nd best keeper in the division after our late drop off in form. He was beaten by Stade de Reims’ 34 year old stopper Johann Carrasso, who kept the same amount of clean sheets as our man but conceded 6 fewer goals in 1 less appearance. The veteran deservedly wins the Domino’s Ligue 2 Star Goalkeeper of the Season award, with Xavier Lenogue coming in… 3rd after Angers’ ex-Sunderland goalie Mika. Never mind.

Mamadou Doucouré was one of the top anticipators in the division, ranking 5th in the amount of interceptions made (544).

Screen Shot 2018-05-01 at 21.42.20.png

Phil Foden (10) is also 5th in the assists rankings with goals laid on for his team mates, while Joël Soumahoro (12) is joint 1st alongside FC Metz’s Stéphane Diakité, who takes the award for Most Assists by virtue of having played 4 fewer matches. The Ivorian is the real winner in my eyes though as he had a pass completion percentage (88%) that was 21% higher than his counterpart’s and he also played the most key passes (43) in the division. It’s been a truly outstanding year from the playmaker and I’ll gladly eat humble pie for doubting him. Again.

And now I’d advise you to make yourself a coffee and buckle in, because we’re going to talk about Hicham Aidir and there is a lot to say. We’ll start with the easy ones: Hicham has scored the most goals (29), won the most Player of the Match awards (11) and has the best average minutes per goal (104.52) out of anybody in the division. If I may make a couple of small complaints though (And I absolutely shouldn’t as he’s been a God among men this year), he’s only set up 1 goal and has been caught offside (53) more than anyone else too. Areas for improvement, definitely, but they’re more minor niggles.

The unstoppable Moroccan has claimed not only the Top Goalscorer award, but the Star of the Season, the Revelation of the Season and the Players’ Player of the Season awards too. What a man. What a team. What a year.

145.5.5 1 15 ligue 2 review145.5.5 1 15 ligue 2 review 2

145.5.5 1 1 french cup review

Oh, I almost forgot the most important award of them all! The First Annual Franjo Award For Unappreciated Excellence. Your votes have been tallied. Here’s how the FAFAFUE finished:

fafafue2

2.4% (Other) Ruben Aguilar

4.8% Xavier Lenogue

9.5% Mamadou Doucouré

11.9% Issa Samba

19% Captiste & (Other) Joël Soumahoro

33.3% Phil Foden

It gives me great pleasure to present The First Annual Franjo Award For Unappreciated Excellence to Phil bloody Foden with a full third of the votes. Unfortunately I forgot to have an actual trophy commissioned for this and I had to go shopping last minute, so instead Phil can jet off on his holidays secure in the knowledge that he’ll be able to have a hearty breakfast each morning with this Family Size Box of Kellogg’s Frosted Flakes! Congratulations on your gr-r-reat season, Phil… Also, sorry.

Screen Shot 2018-05-01 at 21.30.08.png

Santos Football Club

I’m a bit disappointed by Boebie Solomons’ approach to this season to be honest. For such a well run and financially stable club, I expected them to do a bit more with the £1.5M windfall I gave them last summer than 2 signings for a combined £69k, 2 free signings and 6 free loans. True, it was always going to be difficult to replicate last year’s 5th place finish without the likes of Kakuba, Sohna, Soumahoro and Aidir, but I would’ve thought that if he then let the likes of Sambou, Norde, Molekwane and Nkili go there would’ve been more of a rebuild. As it is though, Santos slipped all the way back down to 12th this season, 7 points off relegation with 30 points from 30 games. I’m genuinely disappointed and hope that Boebie will do a better job in the market this Summer.

Screen Shot 2018-05-01 at 21.30.22.png

The Principality of Liechtenstein

That’s right, Liechtenstein get a quick shout out. After I unceremoniously dumped them for Auxerre last year, Mario Frick was brought in at the helm (No relation to Yanik Frick, the striker). Since my last match in charge of Liechtenstein, the 1-1 draw away at Lithuania in March 2021, Mario’s had an even more miserable time than I did. His side have lost 10 of their 12 matches, drawing the other 2, while scoring 8 and conceding 29. Liechtenstein ended up finishing dead last in Group 4 of the World Cup Qualifiers with just 3 points from 10 matches. I honestly wish Mario the best of luck for the future. He’ll certainly need it.

Screen Shot 2018-05-01 at 21.30.43.png

Górniczy Klub Sportowy Katowice

Speaking of miserable stretches of my managerial career, Katowice have had a pretty decent season. Tomasz Kaczmarek was unable to replicate last season’s 4th place finish and was sacked in November to be replaced by Tomasz Mazurkiewicz. The latter Tomasz finished the season strongly and guided GieKSa to 2nd in the LOTTO Ekstraklasa Relegation Group. Damian Garbacik’s still plugging away for Katowice in defence and up front a young Finnish lad named Ari Tuovinen that I signed in February 2019 has become a key player for them. I ask my scouts to give both of them a look, but they aren’t too impressed.

I also want to say a word on my old assistant Dennis Lawrence, who I left in charge of Katowice when I went over to South Africa. After failing to secure the top job with GieKSa he has gone on to have a nice little stint in Polish football, first taking over Polish First Division side Pogoń last April when the side were looking unlikely to bounce straight back up to the LOTTO Ekstraklasa at the first time of asking. He inspired Pogoń to win their last 6 matches, carrying them back up to the top flight easily. He then left them on New Years Eve to take over at Jagiellonia Białstok, the first side we went up against together and had a decent second half of the season, leading them up to 3rd in the Relegation Group, just behind Katowice and just ahead of Pogoń. I’m intrigued to see how he fares with our old rivals next year.

Screen Shot 2018-05-07 at 17.40.26

Screen Shot 2018-05-01 at 21.32.03.png

Sport Clube Angrense

Ah, the ones that got away: My beloved Angrense. After last season’s 15th placed scare, they’ve been back in form this year, finishing 5th in the LigaPro. Manager Hugo Carlos Pereira is obviously a good influence on Os Heróis and has built a good team, but sadly after this Summer I won’t recognise them at all. Cristiano Magina has been the last remaining member of my undefeated side and at 34 years old the iconic striker is hanging up his boots, 16 years after first arriving at the club. Despite his advancing years he still bagged 7 goals in 11 starts this season and he’ll be a loss to Portuguese football. I’d bring him on board as a scout or a coach, but his skills could use a fair bit of development first. Enjoy your retirement, CM9.

Screen Shot 2018-05-07 at 16.08.09

Screen Shot 2018-05-01 at 21.32.19.png

Football Club Höllviken

Unfortunately it’s been another year of the same for Höllviken and I’m worried that they’ll never find their way back to Swedish League football again. Speaking of retirements, I neglected to notice that at some point over the last few years Joakim’s officially stopped looking for jobs and retired from football altogether. He could’ve joined me at Angrense back in the day but refused and I’m saddened that he’s out of the picture.

Screen Shot 2018-05-07 at 16.10.08

But let’s bring this excellent season to a close with the words of AJ Auxerre’s prolific Moroccan goalscorer:

145.5.5 1 7 aidir good year

It has been a good year. Thanks Hicham.

Mini-sode 145.5.5.5 >

Rue des Carrières (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Mini-sode 145.5)

“What do you think, Franjo? Do you accept?”

Side note: You all know the drill, I’ll be posting mini-sodes over the next 2 weeks like the year 6 review, world roundup etc. So in lieu of the usual meta-sode explaining all of this, here’s a mini-sode instead.

Oh, and thanks again for staying patient and keeping reading while I had that really shit 5 weeks. I’ve had a lot of messages of support for both me and the story and it honestly means a hell of a lot!

Start from the start with episode 1

< Episode 145

“You can’t be serious.” I sit dumbfounded, unable to process the last minute or so.

“I am.” He replies curtly through his thick accent. I look up at him expecting a smile or a wink or something, but he just continues to stare directly at me, with not even a hint of a smile on his slim face.

“Why on Earth would you be serious? Why the bloody hell would you ask me? There must be hundreds of…”

“I am asking you because I am stepping down and I have been asked to seek out my own replacement.” He cuts me off calmly, before taking a sip of his tea. “I’ve been watching you for a while and I think that you are the best candidate.”

“But I’m untested!” I protest, unable to help myself from laughing while my own cup of coffee goes cold on the table. “I don’t have the skillset or the experience or…”

“When my greatest opportunity came, I thought the exact same things. So did many others.” He smiles at last. “Just because you have not shown those things, it does not mean that you do not possess them.” He takes another sip of tea. “And it does not mean that you cannot be successful.”

I stare out of the window of Perk de l’Abre Sec at the cars passing by on the Rue des Carrières. Career Street, it translates as. As I come to my own personal crossroads, the irony is not lost on me.

“So.” He begins. As I turn back to face him he carefully places his teacup and saucer back on the gingham tablecloth, before interlocking his fingers and fixing me with that serious look again. “What do you think, Franjo? Do you accept?”

Mini-sode 145.5.5 >

Imperfect (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep145)

Today’s the day.

Start from the start with episode 1

< Episode 144

“Today’s the day.” I think as I slink out of bed. I pour out some granola and milk and sit at the table, my jaw absent-mindedly moving in a circular motion as I eat, like a cow vacantly chewing it’s cud. I glance over to the empty food and water bowls in the corner of the room. Then my eyes wander over to the deflated paddling pool near the armchair. It’s been a strange year. A lot’s happened. Some of it good, some of it bad. Last summer I didn’t have particularly lofty ambitions. I wanted to get Auxerre into the top half and maybe put us in a good position to push for promotion next year, but then we started playing football and I realised that promotion was the goal for this season. For the last quarter of the year or so though even that’s seemed like just a matter of time, so my attention’s turned to the title. We could have had it wrapped up by now. Bourg-en-Bresse have had their own dip in form since securing promotion but we’ve not been able to capitalise. Today’s the day we turn that around.

Mamadou Doucouré’s name has been on everybody’s lips this week. Not only has he earned a place in the Team of the Week for helping us secure a clean sheet against Angers, but he’s also the only player in the Auxerre squad with a chance of going to World Cup 2022 with Senegal. He’s been named in Aly Gueye’s preliminary squad and should he make it to the final one, I’ll be right behind Senegal in the Summer.

Screen Shot 2018-05-01 at 20.21.35

145 1 1 doucoure world cup.png

I don’t want his mind to be on anything but our match today though. We can’t have our Mr Dependable at the back daydreaming about World Cup Glory. With 74 points from 37 matches, we end our season today with a home tie against La Berrichonne. They’re a good side sitting in 6th but are very much the “Best of the rest” at 11 points behind the top 5. They’ll give us a tough game. Bourg-en-Bresse, our title rivals, are playing the already relegated and bottom of the table side USBCO, where our young striker Brahim Ferhat is on loan. I really, really hope he can do us a favour today. If by some miracle USBCO win, we only need a draw in our match and our goal difference will win us the title. If they don’t though, we need to win and we need Bourg not to.

145 1 3 preview.png

So with that in mind, we’re bowing out of the 2021/22 season with Project: Meatloaf. We will attack, get our wide lads cutting in, our full backs overlapping and we will go for the jugular. Zoun comes back into the side for Adama Ba but otherwise we’re unchanged. Let’s get this done.

145 1 4 formations.png

In the first 10 minutes, Boscagli loses control of the ball and allows Phil Foden to stick a boot in and ping the ball ahead of Hicham Aidir. Aidir chases it into the box, takes aim and fires it low past Joris Delle and into the net with his unfavoured right foot. I leap from the dugout, punching the air. My heart’s pounding. We’ve got first blood. As it stands, we’re top of Ligue 2. The rest of the half is cagey but we go close to a second just before half time when Foden cuts in from the right, spots Delle off his line and tries to chip him from 30 yards. The keeper’s beaten but the ball drops onto the roof of the net.

At the break I give the lads a verbal clap on the back. So far we’re doing a job but we need to avoid complacency. We can’t lose this lead. We head back out – And are 2-0 up within 2 minutes. Diallo’s wayward clearance is collected by Goujon, who plays it to Zoun on the left. The winger dinks the ball inside for Hicham, who shapes his body brilliantly to thump it into the bottom corner with his left. The beautiful bastards. We’re back in the nick of time.

5 minutes later, Zoun cuts in from the left as Aguilar bombs past him down the flank. He picks out the full back, who swings in a beautiful cross… Another match suddenly pops into my mind: A pre-season friendly from almost a year ago where we took on Eupen in this very stadium. Hicham Aidir scored a header and then a left footer. He had the opportunity to score a perfect hat trick from the penalty spot but he went with his left again. That day he scored an imperfect hat trick and I gave him a lot of grief for it in the following days. As Aguilar’s cross floats through the air I already know what’s coming. Leaping like a salmon, Hicham Aidir directs a header down over the outrushing goalkeeper to complete his first perfect hat trick. The big Moroccan charges over to the dugout and gets me in a crushing bear hug. “This time!” Screams the striker. “This time is perfect!” He releases me and I laugh as much as my potentially broken ribs will allow. What a fucking player.

No sooner does he jog back onto the pitch to restart the match though than Crouchie gestures me back to the bench. He’s sat with his headphones in listening to commentary from the Bourg match. “Bourg penalty” he mouths. My heart drops. Come on, don’t be dicks. Don’t make this performance irrelevant. In the following seconds, all noise from the Stade Abbé-Deschamps fades into the background. All I can focus on is Crouch and his silence as he waits for news. After what feels like a long, long pause though, he laughs with relief. “They’ve fucked it.” He grins. I beam back at him and turn my attention back to our game. Bourg have missed a penalty. The planets are aligning. Come on USBCO, you plucky bastards. Slay the Giants.

10 minutes later, Bosnjak chips the ball over the top for Paulo César to run onto, but Doucouré gets there first. Uncharacteristically though, he miscontrols it and allows César to nick it away and fire straight at Lenogue, who can’t react in time and can only let the ball smack his arm on the way into the net. 3-1. I knew it, he’s bloody daydreaming. We go close soon after when Aidir holds the ball up and rolls it to Joël. The Ivorian slips Sissako through on goal but he drags his shot just wide.

With 20 minutes to go, Casimiro’s lacklustre throw in is cut out by Zoun on the left, who immediately turns and makes a beeline for the box. He lays the ball off for Joël who shoots, but the ball cannons off the post and is cleared for a throw on the right. Samba takes it quickly, throwing the ball to Foden, who passes inside for Aidir. Aidir turns, draws back his trusty left peg and fires past Delle. I can’t help laughing. That sums him up: Willing to make a perfect hat trick imperfect for just one more goal. I can’t complain though and the Auxerre fans certainly don’t mind. They sing his name in unison, which reverberates all around the stadium.

And then 2 things happen: Firstly, Castro floats a great cross to the far post and Obiang heads just inches wide, but then Crouchie gestures me over once again. And he’s not smiling. I look at him for a moment, frozen on the spot, and his face says it all. Bourg are winning. We’re 2nd. The news quickly filters through the crowd and their jovial singing dies away. A small section begins to sing Brahim Ferhat’s name, but just seconds later my assistant summons me again: “Ferhat’s subbed, boss. It’s not looking good.”

It’s just not fucking fair. This performance deserves to be the one that wins the title, not scraping a win against the league’s bottom team. Although that is how we secured promotion, but that’s not the point. Happy with Aidir’s day’s work I give Ayé a run out for the last 10 minutes, but I’m not sure why. It doesn’t seem like anything we do from this point matters. We’re 4-1 ahead but no amount of goals will be enough to climb above Bourg. We could even concede for all the difference it makes, in fact we do when Paulo César hits the post and taps in the rebound, but the goal’s ruled out for offside, presumably against the 2 lads that were stood on the far post not really interfering with play as the ball crossed the line. They go close again a minute later when Obiang slips Ikaunieks through, but he just misses to the left.

It’s the crowd that let me know first. A few isolated screams of delight from somewhere in the masses. I don’t think anything of them until more start joining in, or until Crouchie calls me over again, his face deadpan. “What? What’s happening?” I ask desperately. His face cracks into a wide smile.

“Monfray’s scored for USBCO. We’re top of the fucking league.”

Screen Shot 2018-05-01 at 20.23.39.png

Screen Shot 2018-05-03 at 12.41.11.png

The matches end. It’s done. We’ve won it. Maybe we shouldn’t have, but we have. Auxerre are the bloody Ligue 2 Champions.

145 1 5 winners

145 1 6 fans thank

145 1 7 board delighted

145 1 8 boli hails

145 1 9 aidir breaks record

145 3 league

Mini-sode 145.5 >

A New Era (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep144)

At least we meet.

Start from the start with episode 1

< Mini-sode 143.5

Hey, here’s one: How many Lapland-based consortiums does it take to take over a French football club?

144 1 4 takeover hits rocks

I don’t know but this is beyond a fucking joke now, isn’t it. I honestly just want the club’s (And by extension, my) future sorted one way or another. I’ll admit that that wasn’t my best punchline.

144 1 5 takeover talks continue

Adama Ba should be back in time for our penultimate and ultimate games as it turns out that the injury he picked up against Ardennes is just a thigh strain. He’ll be racing against the clock to be fit to start though.

144 1 1 ba inj.png

Speaking of our final 2 matches, they do still matter. Bourg-en-Bresse got thrashed in their game in hand against La Berrichonne, meaning that we’re still just 1 point behind them. If only we hadn’t fluffed the Ardennes game we’d be 2 points ahead. My point is that the race is still on, but we need to stop dropping points.

Screen Shot 2018-05-02 at 19.51.06.png

Hicham Aidir continues to win the plaudits, this time voted 3rd in the Player of the month just behind Reims’ Maxime Lopez and painfully, Ardennes’ Andrew Collins. It’s been a good month for Hicham but he’s not even been firing at 100%. More than anybody I need him to show up if we’re going to keep our title hopes alive.

144 1 2 potm.png

Surprisingly Ardennes don’t get any inclusions in the Team of the Week, but Phil’s in there after his admittedly very nice consolation goal.

144 1 3 totw.png

We’ve left ourselves with a lot to do today and that’s not ideal, because an away tie against 4th placed Angers is by no means a good opportunity to pick up points. They’re a tough side and I’d rather we’d taken our easier chances to pick up more wins, but here we are.

144 1 7 preview.png

Project: Meatloaf hasn’t been going well for us lately so we’re lining up with our safer, counter attacking Project: Meatloaf Mk II for this one. Ba makes it back to fitness in time to come in for Zoun, while Aguilar and Sissako replace Hikem and Fomba. Come on lads. This time. Please.

144 1 8 formations.png

Nothing happens. Nothing at all. It’s one of those matches where I’m so bored that I want to tear it all up and make boat loads of changes halfway through, but simultaneously I don’t want to change for the sake of it and open ourselves up for Angers to sneak a winner. After an hour I bring off Foden for Zoun so he can run at their tiring defence, but nothing.

And then like a sudden brilliant ray of light, we get a chance in the 92nd minute. Hicham Aidir carries the ball down the right wing as the travelling fans scream encouragement. He switches it across to Ba and runs for the box. Ba returns the favour and plays it back in for the striker, who shoots for the far bottom corner… Mika makes a fantastic fingertip save to deny us. 0-0 it ends.

144 1 9 post.png

Miraculously, Bourg can only draw themselves against Valenciennes and despite our best efforts we’re still in with a chance of the title. It’s embarrassing really. We’re like the child racing an adult who’s slowed down right at the finish line so as not to hurt our fragile pride.

Screen Shot 2018-05-01 at 19.57.12.png

The mood on the AJA team bus ride the following day is dour. Results are taking their toll on the squad’s confidence. The wind’s been knocked out of them after just 1 win over relegated Strasbourg in our last 4 matches. The Centre de Formation car park is usually near deserted the day after match day but as we pull in I notice a fair few unfamiliar vehicles. We park and I make my way towards the entrance to see a large, square-jawed man walking out to greet me.

“Ah, Franjo! At least we meet.” He holds out a large hand. I wince at the corniness of his greeting but shake his hand all the same. “Dennis Sundberg,” Says the large man, gesturing vaguely towards himself. “I’m your new Chairman.”

“Thank fuck for that!” I laugh. Sundberg doesn’t.

144 2 2 takeover complete

We make our way inside and I have my first meeting with the new Chairman of Auxerre. At first I’m happy that the endless drama of the impending takeover is done, but my smile fades as more and more details of the deal come to light.

144 2 5 transfer embargo lifted

Sundberg is investing no money into the club but he has taken out a £5M bank loan to keep us going. After a year in which money has been pouring out of the club like someone left the financial tap on, this loan gives us a balance of £1M to prepare for life in Ligue 1.

144 2 3 message from sundberg

He’s already started to cut ties with our affiliates and he may float the club on the stock market, which would mean paying out dividends using some of the club’s already very questionably named “Profits”. I am genuinely worried.

144 2 4 cut link

144 2 6 stock exchange

Episode 145 >

The First Annual Franjo Award For Unappreciated Excellence (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Mini-sode 143.5)

Welcome to the FAFAFUE

Start from the start with episode 1

< Episode 143

Welcome, welcome, welcome ladies (Pause for laughter) and gentlemen. Welcome to The First Annual Franjo Award For Unappreciated Excellence, or… The FAFAFUE

I think it’s only fair in the World of Football to give recognition where it’s due. Fans of bottom-half-of-the-table-clubs, how often have you beaten one of the League’s titans, only to have the story be all about them? Maybe you feel like punishing yourself for all of your sins and you listen to 606, where the phone lines are full of their fans complaining, instead of your fans celebrating?

“Manchester United Lose!” Cry the tabloids! “Paris Saint-Germain Lose! Barcelona Lose!”

When the headlines should rightfully be:

“West Brom Win! Guingamp Win! Alavés Fucking Win!”

But it never will be. It never will be because nobody’s buying the paper or clicking on the link or listening to the podcast with that headline, because far fewer people care about smaller clubs. Hence less sales, views or listens, less advertising and less revenue for those media outlets.

But no more. We’re setting a precedent this year. We’re appreciating the unappreciated and celebrating the uncelebrated and we’re starting right here with our own squad. Maybe our message will spread. Today Auxerre, Tomorrow the World!

It gives me great pleasure to announce the maiden shortlist for the FAFAFUE:

Xavier Lenogue – No 16 – Goalkeeper

Absent from the Ligue 2 Goalkeeper of the Season shortlist, no doubt thanks to the incompetence of those money grabbing pencil pushers down at City Hall, Xavier’s smashed the league record for number of clean sheets kept this season and is the base of one of the league’s best defences.

Screen Shot 2018-05-01 at 19.45.09

Issa Samba – No 17 – Right Back

Definitely the runt of the Auxerre litter last Summer, academy graduate Issa nearly found himself leaving the club before taking his first team chance and putting together a run of form so phenomenal and consistent that I literally could not drop him from the starting 11. He’s gone from being on the very fringes of the squad to one of the first names on the team sheet.

Screen Shot 2018-05-01 at 19.45.22

Baptiste “Captiste” Aloé – No 2 – Centre Back

Oh Captain, my Captain. Not only has Captiste been solid and reliable on the field, but he’s also been the glue that holds the squad together off it. I’ve lost count of the amount of times he’s taken an unhappy player to one side and turned them around, making him essential in my starting 11 and in the changing room.

Screen Shot 2018-05-01 at 19.45.35

Mamadou Doucouré – No 25 – Centre Back

Initially brought in on loan as backup for Captiste and Mike Kakuba, Mamadou quickly ousted the latter as a first choice defender. He’s been so solid and consistent that I’ve barely had to mention him all year, except when I mention how little I mention him because of how solid and consistent he’s been.

Screen Shot 2018-05-01 at 19.45.47

Phil Foden – No 8 – Right Sided Inside Forward

The coin flip. I bought Phil for a record fee knowing full well that he was either going to be a disaster or an Auxerre great. He’s been the latter. Nobody else in the squad has reached double figures for both goals and assists and he may have even broken the club’s assist record if he hadn’t broken a rib and missed most of March. Throw on top of that the fact that he’s spent the season learning a new position and there’s no doubt that he’s impressed even more than I ever hoped he could.

Screen Shot 2018-05-01 at 19.46.02

Other (Please Specify)

Screen Shot 2018-05-01 at 19.49.24Screen Shot 2018-05-01 at 19.49.38

These are the contenders. The Auxerre players consistently overlooked by the mainstream media despite the outstanding contributions that each of them have made throughout the entire season to Auxerre.

The winner is up to you. Please send your 1st, 2nd and 3rd place winners to franjofm23@gmail.com (Or as a comment wherever you read this) before Tuesday’s Year 6 Review, where the winner will be presented with the greatest award of them all. And that’s saying a lot because the Domino’s Ligue 2 gives out about 20,000 individual awards.

Thank you and good night.

Rules – Part 2 (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep143)

Wasn’t my version a bit… Meatier?

Start from the start with episode 1

< Mini-sode 142.5

Temporary Rules In Effect

All Players Please Observe Until The End Of The Season

No late nights, no fast food, no alcohol. Give your all. Save the celebrations for after we win the title.

– Crouchie

I scrunch up my face. “Wasn’t my version a bit… Meatier?”

“The work of a fucking madman.” Chuckles Crouch. “You drew Abel Xavier coming out of a magic lamp with a speech bubble that said ‘I’m a colossal waste of £1.5M'”

I shake my head. “No, I would’ve remembered doing that. It is true though.” There’s an uncomfortable pause. “You never played with him at Liverpool did you?”

“No, couple of years before me.”

“Oh, good.” Another uncomfortable pause. “Looks good anyway. Well summarised.”

143 1 10 preview.png

Refreshed and reinvigorated after about 12 hours sleep, my attention is now focussed like a laser beam upon our home match against CS Sedan Ardennes. Yes we’ve broken club records for number of points and number of wins, but this title race has become something of an obsession for me and I won’t be satisfied until we win it.

143 1 1 record points total

143 1 2 record wins

In terms of individual accolades, another record has crumbled for poor, retiring Jérôme Mombris and this time it’s for his 9 Player of the Match awards in the the 2018/19 season. After tapping home the goal that sealed our promotion, Hicham Aidir’s racked up 10. He’s on 25 league goals too, just 1 off Djibril Cissé’s Ligue 2 record that’s stood since his 2003/04 season for Auxerre nearly 20 years ago.

143 1 3 aidir potm record

143 1 8 aidir nears record

The one that makes me do a double take though is the shortlist that I’m sent for the Ligue 2 Goalkeeper of the Year award. Carrasso’s good… Jeannin’s OK… Mika… Where the bloody hell’s Xavier Lenogue? You know, holder of the Ligue 2 clean sheet record? Last line of one of the league’s best defences? Who did Thomas fucking Didillon sleep with to get on the bloody shortlist?

Screen Shot 2018-05-01 at 19.40.37.png

Never mind. I’ll shortlist him for my own award. He’s the first on the shortlist for The First Annual Franjo Award For Unappreciated Excellence. I’m deadly serious. We’re doing this. I’m that petty.

143 1 4 goalkeeper of the year.png

Meanwhile, Dennis Sundberg’s take over of the club is off…

143 1 5 takeover talks continue

…And on more often than a really frail but determined bucking bronco enthusiast. Patience is being rapidly lost at my end.

143 1 6 takeover hits rocks

But the greatest news of all this week is that our Burkinabe winger-turned-inside-forward Zoun has finally admitted that he’s happy to stay at the club after letting me know in January that he was concerned about his playing time. I’ve given him a chance to adapt to our system since then and by jove he’s taken it.

143 1 7 zoun happy to stay.png

Ardennes are hoping to achieve mathematical safety in Ligue 2 with 3 points today, but needless to say I’m reluctant to let that happen. There are 3 matches left and I want 9 more points on the board. We’re staying unchanged for this one and I’ll be looking to Phil and Hicham in particular to keep their recent form going.

143 1 11 formations.png

We get off to a rough start. With 15 minutes gone, Faouzi Hikem switches off and allows Bettoni to get goal-side of him. Collins flicks the ball through for the winger, who takes a touch and pokes the ball past Lenogue to open the scoring. 5 minutes later Zoun drives in from the left looking for an equaliser. He shoots with power but doesn’t get the curl that he’s looking for and sends the ball a yard wide of the far post.

We remain behind for the rest of the half and at the break I make my feelings perfectly clear to the team. Again. Only a few minutes after the restart though, goalscorer Bettoni plays a good ball into the channel for Collins, who runs through and shoots but can’t beat Lenogue, who parries it behind.

With 20 minutes to go we’re still trailing and we’re still not looking likely of coming back into the game. Even less so when Konaté plays a good ball into the channel and Collins strokes it past Lenogue from the edge of the box to put us 0-2 down. Incensed, I make a trio of substitutions: Florian Ayé, Adama Ba and Abdoulaye Sissako replace the ineffective Hicham Aidir, Zoun and Lamine Fomba.

With 5 minutes to go, Ba continues his streak of injuring himself on his return to the team by picking up what looks like a thigh strain. He plays on though. A few minutes later we’ve come alive too and when our free kick breaks down Sissako brings the ball onto the right wing and curls a cross into the box. Ngoula hooks it out of immediate danger but Ayé chests it down and shoots, drawing a top class flying fingertip save from Hajji. Ba keeps the ball in, chips it into the box and Foden gets his head to it, but his effort’s cleared off the line. Neither of those near misses are the really horrific part though. That comes just seconds later when Bettoni runs the ball down the wing on the counter and crosses, Lenogue makes a good save to keep out Collins’ first effort, but then can’t stop him tucking away the rebound. 0-3 and all hope is gone. All hope for the title has surely pissed off too.

We do manage to work the ball up to Ayé straight from kick off, who plays Foden in behind so he can place the ball into the top corner, but it’s no more than a consolation goal. We dominated today while hardly ever threatening. We’ve bottled it.

143 1 12 post.png

143 1 13 league.png

Mini-sode 143.5 >

Stars (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep142)

We aren’t meant to be here.

Start from the start with episode 1

< Episode 141

I close my eyes and press my fingers to my temples. I wish this fucking takeover would just happen or just not. For the last 2 weeks all I’ve heard is “Takeover off”…

142 1 1 takeover hits rocks

…”Takeover on”…

142 1 2 talks continue

…Over and over and over again. Either cough up the funds, Sundberg, or don’t, because you’re making a really fucking bad first impression. I’m already sick of you and you’ve not even started setting me unreasonable expectations or selling my best players yet.

In better news though, both Joël Soumahoro and Hicham Aidir are thought to be in contention for the Ligue 2 Star of the Season award. In my eyes it’d be richly deserved if either of them were to win it.

142 1 3 star ots.png

Screen Shot 2018-04-30 at 19.39.17

Screen Shot 2018-04-30 at 19.39.30

And there’s also high praise for our unflappable skipper Captiste from Laurent Blanc, who’s been praising him on 90min.com. For an Auxerre centre back, it doesn’t get much better than that.

142 1 4 blanc a fan.png

But there’s an elephant in the room. Several actually. It’s a big room. We face RC Strasbourg Alsace today at their place and for so many reasons it’s a huge, huge match. Firstly, a win here in Strasbourg would set a new Auxerre points record.

142 1 5 aja near record points.png

Secondly, a win would also set a new Auxerre win record.

142 1 6 aja near record wins.png

Thirdly, anything but a win could effectively end our title push, allowing Bourg-en-Bresse to open the gap between 1st and 2nd to 6 points. Fourthly, Strasbourg are bottom of Ligue 2, so we’d deserve to lose all hope of winning the title by losing against them. Lastly, and by far the most importantly when all’s said and done, a win here today would seal our Promotion to Ligue 1. When you take out all of the other shit, this is what really matters. Promotion to Ligue 1. Home of PSG, Monaco, Marseille, Lille and Lyon. Home of Auxerre. Home of Franjo. Now wouldn’t that be something.

142 1 9 preview.png

“Listen”, I begin. I’ve scheduled an emergency team meeting to say a few words ahead of the big match. “We aren’t meant to be here.” I grin and a few of the Auxerre lads chuckle. “We’re the team that survived relegation last season. We’re the team that was meant to be safe and steady this year.” I’m talking as calmly and as kindly as I can. As I do, I wonder to myself whether I actually mean the words I’m about to say. “If we don’t get this promotion, it’s no big deal. OK?” I see a few players relax. “We aren’t meant to be here.” I say again. “But because of your hard work we are.” I smile again, looking around at the players. “Give it your best. Don’t overthink it.” I wink and head for the door as the players cheer, shout and clap their approval.

We will of course be serving Meatloaf today with a side of victory. Adama Ba’s back in full training but isn’t fit enough to start, so we go mainly unchanged, with the exception of Aguilar, who drops out and is replaced by Issa Samba, who’s back from suspension. I was hoping to see Fabien Fonrose in action today, the young centre back that Strasbourg have taken on loan from us, but he’s ruled out with a groin strain and won’t feature.

142 1 10 formations

I’ll be honest, Strasbourg’s decision to line up with a 4-4-2 takes me by surprise. The last time we met they opted for one of the oddest looking 3-2-3-2 formations I’ve ever seen, but I suppose they have sacked Manager Frédéric Varela and replaced him with Sébastien Roi since then, so I shouldn’t have expected a repeat performance. I do consider scrapping Project: Meatloaf and going for Project: Burnie Mk III, which is more suited to playing against such a shape. I’ll leave that idea in the back pocket for now though, because against the worst club in the league Meatloaf should be fine.

22 minutes in, Kljun’s corner is headed clear by Goujon and picked up on the edge of the box by Rúben Vinagre. The left winger takes the ball down and fires it along the floor, beating Lenogue and finding the far bottom corner. Bollocks, bollocks, bollocks. Lenogue should do better, but take nothing away from that finish. It’s a good goal and we might actually be in trouble.

5 minutes later though we respond with some of the most excellent 2-touch football I’ve seen from this side. We’re zipping passes around for fun, bamboozling the opposition midfielders as we touch and pass, touch and pass, touch and pass some more. About 10 passes into the move, Foden plays the ball inside for Joël, who slips it behind the full back for Zoun. He squares it for Hicham Aidir and we all know what happens next. 1-1. Absolutely beautiful stuff.

A couple of minutes after the equaliser RCSA want their lead back. They come forward but lose possession and we counter quickly. Aidir sprays the ball out onto the left for Zoun to chase. He takes control, gets to the byline and crosses to the far post, where Phil Foden lets the ball fall right onto his boot and volleys it into the back of the net. My fists pummel the air. This is more like it. This is the Auxerre that put us in the title race in the first place. That’s Phil’s 10th goal of the season too. Good lad.

A couple of minutes before the break we should go 3-1 up after some more sublimely slick passing. This time Fomba plays the final ball, slipping Phil Foden in behind the defence. Foden aims for the far corner but is denied by a tremendous fingertip save by Oukidja. We settle for the 1 goal lead at the break but I am making changes. Zoun’s had a terrific half but I’m going to do what I should’ve done from the start and bring out Project: Burnie Mk III. Ayé comes on replacing the winger and we’ll play on the counter, with Loïc Goujon dropping into central defence, Joël stepping back into a deeper playmaking role and Phil Foden playing behind the 2 strikers.

I should see the warning signs. Pretty much straight from kick off Kljun plays a long ball over the top of our defence for Robin to run after. He leaves Captiste for dead but our skipper manages to force him out to a narrow angle with a good recovery. He gets a shot away but Lenogue catches it easily at his near post. A minute later though, the hosts win a corner. Vinagre takes this one and chips it to the near post. As he does, Robin spins away from his marker, Captiste, controls the ball unmarked, turns and places it into the far corner of the net. 2-2. 10 minutes later my heart’s in my mouth as Aholou receives the ball in space and tries his luck from 25 yards, but his shot cracks off the bar and Samba manages to scramble it clear.

We stay level for the majority of the second half. Although the chance of Strasbourg dropping down to the division below are high, it’s not a certainty yet and they aren’t going without a fight. I don’t care though. I want this done and I want it done today so that we can at least keep pace with Bourg. I roll the dice. We’ll attack them relentlessly for the last 10 minutes and try to force the result.

In the 87th minute we’re playing some nice football once again. We could have one last chance. Hikem passes to Foden, who passes to Fomba, 30 yards out. Hicham Aidir’s level with the defensive line. Fomba tries to poke the ball through for him… But Hicham doesn’t make the run. He steps back to try to collect the ball to his feet and it zips right past him. It’s a breakdown in communication and the ball trickles slowly to a stop back into Strasbourg’s box. It’s over. Etienne plays the ball back to his keeper… And underhits it. In the blink of an eye, Aidir sprints into the box, beats both defender and keeper to the ball and prods it into the net. He’s done it. We’ve fucking done it.

Defensive lockdown ensues, with Sissako and Raf replacing Joël and Aidir and a 3-3-2-1-1 shape deployed. It works. We see out the match by the skin of our teeth at 3-2.

I can’t believe we pulled that off. A combination of my bad decisions and individual mistakes looked certain to cost us our spot in the title race, but Aidir’s come through again. We’re bloody promoted. Give that man the Star of the Season award. Give it to all of them.

As Crouchie, the coaching staff, the substitutes, the travelling fans and I spill onto the pitch to meet the players, I find myself unable to wipe the look of shock and amazement from my face. The noise is deafening and by the time I’m 20 feet onto the pitch I’m surrounded from all sides by the loyal Auxerre support, ruffling my hair and clapping me on the back as the stewards try to drag them off. Hit by sudden realisation, I ask nobody in particular “Bourg? What’s the Bourg result?”

“Ç’est un match nul!” Replies a pissed-up gentleman directly in front of me. “Ç’est un match nul!”

I laugh with delight and celebrate with the fans. Bourg-en-Bresse bloody drew. This title race is still very much on.

142 1 12 promoted

142 1 13 guided

142 1 14 aja delight

142 1 15 boli surprised

142 1 16 league

Mini-sode 142.5 >

Auxerre’s To Lose (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep141)

Break out the wine

Start from the start with episode 1

< Episode 140

Latest short story – The Envelope

Lads, break out the wine and let the streets of Auxerre run burgundy with the stuff! Bourg-en-Bresse have finally lost and the Domino’s Ligue 2 title is Auxerre’s to lose once more. With 6 games to go both we and our title rivals are on 67 points, but with our 25 goal superior goal difference we’re essentially a point ahead. I’d like to take this opportunity to sincerely thank Stade Malherbe Caen for their contribution to our season, because Bourg were on a terrific run and they took some stopping.

Screen Shot 2018-04-28 at 12.37.04.png

I’ve given Bourg a lot of stick but both sides at the top are having fantastic seasons. Even though we finished 16th last season we were predicted for a 7th place finish, which makes our rise to the top impressive but nothing on Bourg. They finished a single place above us last season and were predicted to stay exactly where they were, so for them to be in this title race we’re really bordering on Leicester City in the Premier League territory. It’s a fantastic achievement. Meanwhile, we’re now just 5 points away from our record points tally of 72.

141 1 3 aja near points record

The Coupe de la Ligue is over and it’s the scrappy underdogs at Paris Saint-Germain that’ve snatched the cup, beating Toulouse in the final. I’m happy for them that they can finally get some use out of that trophy cabinet. What a breath of fresh air.

141 1 1 cup review.png

Phil Foden’s back and is straight into the Team of the Week after his great performance against Clermont, while his equally impressive team mate Joël is gunning for the Ligue 2 record of 14 assists in a single season and is currently 2 away from levelling it.

141 1 2 totw.png

141 1 5 joel near record.png

There may have been a potential hiccup with Dennis Sundberg’s proposed takeover of our club though, which has dampened spirits somewhat. Apparently the Lapland-based consortium might not have enough money to complete the transaction and you can see why that might be a problem.

141 1 6 takeover snag.png

There’s nothing we can do about off-field problems though so we turn our attention back to the pitch. Groupe Sportif Consolat’s pitch specifically where we’ll look to finally open some distance between us and Bourg. We could also equal the club record 22 wins in a season with 3 points today.

141 1 8 preview.png

141 1 4 aja near wins record

GSC usually line up with a narrow diamond and I lick my lips at the prospect of coming up against another one of those, having seen off Red Star 5-1 not long ago who used the same shape. We’ll use the same narrow, counter attacking Project: Meatloaf Mk II system with attacking wing backs that we used that day and we’ll look for a similar result. Hicham Aidir is back in the starting XI as a reward for his impressive display from the bench last week, while Zoun comes out for a rest, with his form having dropped a bit. Adama Ba comes in on the left, while Sissako makes the bench after his recent injury woes.

141 1 9 formations.png

GSC are the first to fire a warning shot just 2 minutes after we get underway. Bourniet sends a good corner flying awkwardly across our goal and Lenogue’s beaten in the air by Satli, but the centre back glances his header just wide of the far post. Only a few minutes later they’re pushing again, this time with a good cross from Mazikou, deep on the left wing. Leclere runs towards the far post to try to latch onto the ball but he’s shoved clumsily to the floor by Ruben Aguilar. The full back knows that his place in the starting 11 is far from secure at the best of times and his head goes straight into his hands as the referee points to the spot. Faucher steps up and slides the ball confidently into the bottom left corner to put the hosts ahead.

10 minutes later the game’s devolved into a hoofball match with the ball being pinged from end to end without any sense of control. Finally though it’s Auxerre that get it on the floor and start playing a bit more through Aguilar on the left. Eager to make up for his mistake in our area he cuts in and plays an excellent through ball into Aidir’s path and the striker hits it past Bozic’s outstretched glove first time to equalise. If I had a list of all the players’ names, I’d be scribbling over the frowny face next to Ruben’s and replacing it with a smiley one. I don’t though, so I just give him a thumbs up and a wink.

The most pleasantly surprising part is what happens straight from kick off. We win the ball back and Adama Ba chips it up the left wing for Aidir, who nods it on and chases the ball down to the byline. He whips a cross into the box and up pops 5’6″ Phil Foden to power a header past the keeper, completing our turnaround in a bizarre but pleasing display of role reversal.

The rest of the first half is a tight affair and there’s not much quality on display from either side. We do go close early in the second half though when Foden plays a nice one-two with Joël from a free kick and then loops a cross in from the right wing. Whether it’s accidental or not only Phil knows, but the ball drops over the furiously back-pedalling goalkeeper, hits the bar and goes behind, leaving Bozic to breathe a huge sigh of relief. A minute later Ba picks up a knock, which is a shame as he’s not had much of a chance to feature since Christmas. Zoun comes on to replace him but the rest of the match is quiet. On reflection though it’s a deserved 3 points and another impressive performance by Hicham, Phil and the gang.

141 1 10 post.png

141 2 8 pre match.png

It’s bad news on the Ba front as he’s picked up a groin strain and will miss about 2 weeks, but it’s good news for Zoun because I’ll sort of be forced to put him straight back into the team.

141 2 1 ba inj

2 of our number do make it into the Team of the Week, which isn’t surprising in itself, but the fact that both Aidir and Foden are left out is. It’s actually Issa Samba and Mamadou Doucouré that are picked after their solid displays against GSC.

141 2 2 totw.png

I’ve been focussing on the records that we are and soon might be breaking for so long that they’ve sort of lost all meaning, but for those keeping score: We’re now on 70 points, which is 2 behind our record, and 22 wins, which is level with our record. Hicham’s on 22 league goals, 4 behind Djibril Cissé’s Ligue 2 record of 26 and 9 Player of the Match awards, which is also equal with Auxerre’s record.

Phew. Also, Dennis Sundberg must have flashed the cash to Mr Zhou because the takeover talks are back on after that set back last week. Honestly I don’t know if this is good or bad news at this point, but hey ho.

141 2 7 takeover talks continue.png

Our next match at the Stade Abbé-Deschamps is against Stade Malherbe Caen, the side that so helpfully beat Bourg-en-Bresse to put us top of the league. They’re doing pretty well in the league and sit in 8th place, but I’m hoping for a professional job today to break our personal best points tally.

141 2 9 preview.png

They line up with a 4-2-3-1 and so shall we. Bourg also matched their shape and came off worse, but they didn’t have our system. They didn’t have Project: Meatloaf. Issa Samba’s suspended for this one and with Adama Ba ruled out with that groin strain, Faouzi Hikem and Zoun are back in, with Aguilar starting in his favoured right back spot.

141 2 10 formations.png

We get off to a fantastic start in under 7 minutes when Phil Foden chips a free kick in from the right wing. Lamine Fomba rises to nod the ball on and Aidir lets it drop over his shoulder before lashing it in on the volley at the far post. We’re not allowed to celebrate our lead for very long though as within 4 minutes a slick Caen move from a throw in results in an equaliser. Diego throws it to Kalmár, who nods it on for Suljic, who plays it inside for Wesley Saïd, who finishes it off with aplomb.

15 minutes later it’s us who are pushing for the lead, but Foden’s caught in possession and robbed by N’Simba, who launches the ball upfield to start a counter attack. Saïd chases it into our box and shoots low, but Lenogue does well to tip it behind for a corner. I’m a little bit worried at how we were done by the striker’s pace there, so we revert to Project: Meatloaf Mk II, with a deeper defensive line and Goujon dropping back as a holding man so that we don’t leave too much of a gap between defence and midfield.

The change does the job to some extent as the game quietens right down. After the hour mark though it’s becoming clear that we need another change of tact to get the winning goal. Zoun’s getting no joy cutting in from the left but the right wing back Diego is pushing up and leaving lots of space, so Tirard comes on as a winger to try and make the most of the gap on the left side. With 10 minutes to go though Caen are in the ascendency and a patient move ends with Diego playing a ball through our defence and into the box for Saïd. Captiste gets across to make a good tackle and sends the ball rolling, but only as far as Suljic, who hits it goalwards. Lenogue can only bat the ball into his own net. Shit.

We’re now in serious danger of losing Bourg once again in the title race. I throw Sissako on for Goujon as a ball winner with the license to get forward and do some damage and we’ll go attacking and just take the risk that they won’t take advantage with Saïd’s pace. We’ll try to play the offside trap just to be safe but to be honest losing 1-2 or 1-3 makes no difference at this point. I also want the wingbacks getting forward as much as possible. It’s all hands on deck time.

With 6 minutes to play the ball comes to Joël in the middle and he volleys it onto the left wing for Tirard. The often underwhelming winger takes a fantastic touch, allowing him to speed away from Fortes and into the box. He shoots – And balloons his shot way over the bar.

141 2 11 post.png

I’d like to take this opportunity to publicly curse and condemn Stade Malherbe Caen for royally fucking our season. Bourg-en-Bresse, having won their match, have climbed to 73 points and cut us adrift once again. They’ve now guaranteed at least a play-off spot and even though we’re only 4 points away from mathematically securing promotion ourselves, I’ve got that sinking feeling of failure again.

141 2 12 league.png

Episode 142 >

Fomba Leads The Way (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep140)

Maybe, just maybe Lamine Fomba’s decided to finally turn it on.

Start from the start with episode 1

< Episode 139

Joël Soumahoro is a bloody record breaker. Let that sink in. 13 assists in a season is a new AJ Auxerre best, eclipsing Jérôme Mombris’ 12. I feel like a proud parent. Little Joël, the lad who was playing in the Côte d’Ivoire Premier Division with Academie de Foot Amadou Diallo just 2 years ago, is all grown up and breaking records in the French 2nd tier. With promotion still looking likely I genuinely wonder whether he can make another step up to the Elite world of Ligue 1. It could happen. He’s also selected in the Team of the Week along with Zoun, after the pair of them linked up twice brilliantly to defeat Chamois Niortais.

140 1 1 joel record

140 1 5 totw

But it’s not just Joël that I’m proud of today. Chancel Kasongo is a name that all but the most switched on Auxerre fans have probably forgotten at this point, but when I came in last season to fight the fire that was relegation from Ligue 2, I gave young Chancel his professional debut in the hope that a fresh and creative mind could pull us out of the mire. He certainly did his part and did it well, but ironically had no place in the squad when Joël’s transfer was finalised. He was loaned out for the season to AFC Tubize in the Belgian Pro League B, but they won’t be a Belgian Pro League B team for much longer. Thanks in no small part to their standout French midfielder Kasongo, Tubize are going up to the top tier of Belgian football and I’m fucking delighted for them. Chancel’s only scored a single goal, but he’s assisted 9 more and won 4 Player of the Match awards. I’m going to have some serious assessing to do when he returns in the Summer.

140 1 3 tubize promoted

140 1 4 kasongo

And that’s not all that’s happened in a news-heavy week: A consortium has stepped into the light, led by Lapland-based Dennis Sundberg, with the intention of taking over AJ Auxerre. The rumours about local investment and former footballers have died away in the midst of this news and it seems like the story has momentum, but I’m not sure I’m too pleased. You see, according to the stories I’ve read, Sundberg and Co are looking to invest under £1 Million in our club. I don’t think I’ve moaned about this yet but despite our positive bank balance last Summer and the profits we made in the subsequent transfer windows, the club is now over £3 Million in the red. Even the most optimistic of mathematicians will tell you that all of these numbers don’t add up to a happy ending. I hope that Mr Sundberg, if he does take over our club, has his cheque book ready or we’re in trouble. On the other hand though, the only other Lapland-based business I’ve ever heard of involved a bearded gentleman that shook his belly like a bowlful of jelly and had a taste for cookies and milk, so maybe a Christmas miracle will ease our financial crisis.

140 1 7 consortium bid.png

And as if there wasn’t enough going on, apparently we’re closing in on an Auxerre wins record and are currently 3 away from levelling our personal best of 22.

140 1 6 aja near record.png

We’re travelling to Red Star in search of win number 20 today and I really hope we can find it because we’re in danger of being left behind Bourg-en-Bresse. They won their game in hand and climbed 3 points clear at the top of the season thanks to our loss at Metz. I’ll be so annoyed if that result costs us the title.

140 1 9 preview.png

I’ve kept an eye on Red Star as I do with all upcoming opponents and they play with a narrow 4-4-2 diamond, which is a formation I’ve not often come up against in my career. It’s a tricky one to counter as usually I’d bring out Project: Burnie Mk III, which allows us to man mark a 4-4-2 strike pair with a spare man, but with the narrow diamond funnelling nearly all the opposition players down the middle I think we’d get overpowered pretty easily. So today calls for a different approach. We’ll go with Project: Meatloaf Mk II, we’ll play on the counter, we’ll be narrow to suffocate their midfield and we’ll exploit the flanks where they’re weak, doubling up with inside forwards and über attacking wingbacks bombing beyond them. I’m making a few changes from the Chamois game but probably not the ones you’re expecting. Tirard and Fomba keep their places after putting in decent shifts while Hikem, Raf and Aidir are dropped after their poor performances to be replaced by Aguilar, Goujon and Ayé, who makes his 150th club appearance. Phil Foden’s on the bench.

140 1 10 formations.png

We start quickly. We’re happy to play patient passes around the edge of the box until Lamine Fomba spots Issa Samba pelting down the flank. Fomba sprays the ball out wide to him in acres of space and Samba gets a good cross in, but Zoun can only direct his header over the bar from close range.

It takes another 20 minutes before we find the breakthrough and it’s a well practised free kick routine that does it. Tirard passes short to Joël, who plays the ball out wide for Samba. The wing back gets another cross in from the byline and Ayé emerges unmarked at the near post to head the ball home.

7 minutes later it’s becoming painfully clear who’s running the show so far. Issa Samba charges once again down the right wing, loving the freedom of his new attacking wing back role. He skips past the challenge of Al-Abdulrahman and floats a great cross over to the far post. Florian Ayé’s on hand to cushion the ball down and Zoun volleys it, but Tchagouni makes a superb reflex save to keep his side from falling further behind.

A few minutes later Samba has the ball again in an advanced position but this time switches it beautifully to Ruben Aguilar on the left. Aguilar gets the ball out of his feet with his first touch and drills it low with his second, but the shot deflects off a defender and bobbles through to Ayé. He hits it towards the bottom corner but is denied by another terrific save from Tchagouni. We actually do get a chance from the resulting corner when Tirard’s cross is cleared as far as Joël, but the playmaker puts his 20 yard shot over the bar.

We look certain to go in for the break with a narrow lead but in the 45th minute, Corentin Tirard whips a cross in from a free kick on the right wing, Loïc Goujon flicks the ball on and Lamine Fomba places it under the keeper from close range. My fists shoot straight into the air. You’ve no idea how happy it makes me to see those 3 names linking up to score a goal. We take a 2-0 lead into the changing room at half time.

We start the second half just as quickly as we start the first, killing off any plans of an early fight back from Red Star as they struggle to keep us out. The first 5 minutes is one-way traffic and when Tirard’s corner’s cleared to the edge of the box on 50 minutes, Joël brings the ball down and moves it straight on to Zoun on the 6 yard box. He shoots from a narrow angle but only rattles the post. He’s been unlucky so far today but he’s getting in the right positions and that’s pretty reassuring.

Barely a minute later the hosts go close when Pierre-Gabriel finds space on the right and crosses into the box. Bailly nods the ball on and Timite heads at goal, bit Lenogue catches it comfortably.

With 25 minutes to go before the International break I welcome Phil Foden back into the fold. He comes on replacing Corentin Tirard, who in all fairness hasn’t been bad for the last few games, he’s just been quite average. A few minutes later Joël curls the ball onto the right wing into the path of Samba. He crosses once again into the box for Ayé and the striker cushions the ball down for Foden a few yards out – But Foden’s hacked down by a 2 footed challenge. “Come on!” I shout in protest, but I’m immediately drowned out by the sound of the travelling fans’ celebrations as Florian Ayé tucks the ball in himself.

Red Star aren’t going down without a fight though. 90 seconds after our 3rd goal Pierre-Gabriel finds space again and cuts the ball back for Laurent Bailly, who forces a good low save from Xavier Lenogue. They get their reward for persistence a few minutes later. A lovely little move sees Bamba chip the ball to Al-Abdulrahman on the left, who volleys it into the box, where Bailly smashes his volley over Lenogue without the ball touching the floor.

I decide that now’s a good time to bring out a variation of Project: Burnie Mk III and haul off Joël and Zoun to be replaced by Raf and Kakuba. We go to a 3-3-2-1-1 formation with Captiste, Kakuba and Doucouré across the back, Samba, Goujon and Aguilar in front of them, and then Raf and Fomba supporting Foden in the number 10 role and Ayé up top. I am still a little bit gutted for Phil that he was savaged once again and denied a place on the scoresheet because of it, but with 4 minutes to play he puts that right with a 20 yard free kick that he curls beautifully over the wall and into the top corner. Welcome back, you brilliant bastard.

Straight from kick off we see yet more signs of life from Red Star, but when Muyumba chips the ball into the path of the goalscorer Bailly, he skies it over the bar on the volley. We could just wait for the whistle at this point but our inspiration to keep plugging away comes from an unlikely source: Lamine Fomba collects the ball from Raf on the edge of the box and drills in his 2nd goal of the match. 5-1.

140 1 11 post.png

The French Football Daily runs with the headline “Fomba Leads The Way For AJ Auxerre” the following morning and my chest swells with pride. I know it’s only one match, but maybe, just maybe Lamine Fomba’s decided to finally turn it on. He was monstrous in midfield today and I hope so much that he keeps going from here.

140 2 1 fomba leads the way.png

With the International break upon us I plan on watching some of my players with their national teams, but before I can do that Adama Ba comes knock-knock-knocking on Franjo’s door. Before he even finishes his request for more first team football I send him Captiste’s way. He’s much better at this shit than I am and true to form, he turns Ba’s frown upside down.

140 2 2 ba unh

140 2 3 ba fine

Captiste also grabs himself a place in Ligue 2’s Team of the Week, along with fellow defenders Doucouré and Aguilar, midfielders Goujon and Fomba and good old Florian Ayé. Frankly, quite how Issa Samba doesn’t get a spot in that team is beyond me though.

140 2 6 totw.png

Lamine Fomba also wins 3rd place in March’s Player of the Month, beaten only by former Arsenal forward Giles Sunu and Vincent Thill, the man that embarrassed me in front of all my friends during our match against FC Metz.

140 2 9 potm.png

I’m delighted on several levels to watch Morocco’s home friendly against Burkina Faso, firstly because Zoun puts in a decent showing despite being horribly misused as a “Right sided midfielder” for the visitors, but also because he ends up playing directly against Morocco’s substitute debutant left back Billy. They have a decent duel down the wing for 35 minutes in the second half before Zoun’s subbed off, with Billy more than holding his own and helping Morocco to snatch a late draw.

140 2 4 billy debut

140 2 5 billy

With the players back from their respective matches, we get our game faces on. We’re still 3 points behind the insufferable Bourg-en-Bresse but we’ve now got 64 points and 20 wins, so if we can build up some momentum for the run in we can catch them up and go for a couple of club records in one fell swoop. 72 points and 22 wins are the records to aim for.

140 2 7 aja near points record

140 2 8 aja near wins record

We host Clermont Foot today and they’re by no means a bad team but their recent form has been patchy to say the least. With Abdoulaye Sissako finally back from injury during the break we’re back to having a full squad to choose from, so I don’t think we’ve got any excuses not to win this.

140 2 11 preview.png

Project: Meatloaf is on the menu. Clermont play very defensive football in a compact 4-1-4-1 so we’ll need to be at our best to break them down. Our only personnel change from before the break is Phil Foden, who is back to full fitness and takes the place of Corentin Tirard. I’ve not been impressed to be honest.

140 2 12 formations.png

13 minutes in we win a corner on the right and Phil Foden hits an in-swinger towards the 6 yard box. Clermont’s centre midfielder Richard tries to clear but can only flick the ball on towards Zoun, who heads the ball into Jeannin’s arms. Zoun looks like he’s got something to prove after a frustratingly quiet couple of weeks and receives the ball from Joël on the left wing after about 25 minutes. The Burkinabe winger swips across the defensive line towards the centre and sends a shot careening towards the far top corner, but Jeannin pulls out a top class save to deny him again and tip the ball behind.

Otherwise the first half’s pretty quiet and so is most of the second. On the hour mark and with Ba’s unhappiness and the fact that Hicham Aidir’s been out of my side for what must be a record amount of time both at the forefront of my mind, I bring the pair on in place of Zoun and Ayé and it does seem to spark us into life. With 20 minutes to play Adama Ba slides the ball in front of Lamine Fomba and the midfielder thumps it against the bar from 25 yards. It’s a close one but we’ve been taking too many long shots out of frustration today, unable to break through the visitors’ defensive lines. We switch up to play a higher tempo, pass shorter, roam from our positions, play a more expressive style and work the ball into the box. As the defence begins to tire these changes should pull them around to breaking point.

Sure enough, we have the breakthrough within 5 minutes. It’s a familiar sight from the last couple of matches seeing Fomba play Issa Samba in behind the defence on the right and the full back squares the ball from the byline. Hicham Aidir arrives to poke it into the open net from close range and I’ve already forgotten why I dropped him in the first place.

We revert to our normal style after the goal but Clermont forced to try and push out, we’re 2-0 up within 3 minutes. This time Joël plays a one-two with Fomba and then passes it to Foden with his back to goal on the edge of the box. He turns and rifles the ball towards the far bottom corner and although Jeannin gets a glove to the ball, he can’t stop it from rolling over his hand and in.

And that’s that. With the game wrapped up in a bow I introduce Raf and bring Joël off for a deserved rest. It doesn’t stop the 2 goal scorers from linking up one more time in the 92nd minute though, when Foden lays the ball off for Aidir and the resurgent Moroccan smashes it low towards goal. Again, Jeannin gets a hand to it but again the ball’s only got time for a quick ‘hello’ with the keeper’s fingertips before it has to go and be in the back of the net for me. 3-0 and we’re back at the top of the league. True, Bourg have a game in hand again, but I don’t care about that at the minute. Phil’s back, Hicham’s back and I think I can safely say that AJ Auxerre are back in form.

140 2 13 post

140 3 1 league

Episode 141 >

Ultimatums (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep139)

So what have we learned?

Start from the start with episode 1

< Episode 138

Well, it’s official: Xavier Lenogue’s 16 clean sheets is a new Domino’s Ligue 2 record. FC Metz’ (Who just happen to be our next opponents) keeper Darko Dejanovic held the record for 2 years but has been surpassed by Lenogue and his band of ridiculous defenders. Joël’s nearing his record too and after setting up Aidir against Orléans he’s now just 1 behind our retiring left back Mombris’ 12 assists in a season.

139 1 2 lenogue record

139 1 3 joel nears record

So let’s talk FC Metz. They’re a decent mid-table side and we thrashed them 3-0 in the reverse fixture, so today represents a chance to build up a bit of momentum. We’ll be without Abdoulaye Sissako in midfield as his injury picked up against Orléans has been confirmed as a sprained ankle and will keep him out for 4-5 weeks, which is certainly a blow, but Hikem and Raf are back in contention after completing their suspensions. Loïc Chicken Goujon’s back in full training but this match comes a little bit too soon for him, so he won’t be risked from the start.

139 1 1 sissako inj

139 1 5 preview

With Metz unlikely to field a striking partnership and warrant 3 centre backs we’re reverting to our attacking Project: Meatloaf for this one. This means that one of our centre backs needs to drop to the bench and as much as it pains me, Mike Kakuba’s the one. I can’t drop Doucouré as he never seems to do anything wrong whatsoever and even though I’ve forgiven him, Kakuba did give away that penalty against Ajaccio, so Captiste is ousting him. Faouzi Hikem, Raf, Zoun and (Brace yourselves) Corentin Tirard return to the first team on place of Ruben Aguilar, Abdoulaye Sissako and Florian Ayé. This is Corentin’s very last chance to impress and he gets the nod today purely because I’d like a left footer to replace Foden on the right, but if he’s as lacklustre as he has been in previous games he’s played for me, he’s done at Auxerre. It’s also worth mentioning that even though Lamine Fomba keeps his place today I’m really starting to run out of patience with him too. He’s done some good here and there this season but given that he’s arguably one of the most talented players in the squad, he should be doing a lot better. He’s actually my 5th choice central midfielder now after dropping below Sissako, Raf, Joël and Goujon in the pecking order. We’ve got plenty of talented kids waiting patiently in the reserves and unless Lamine starts showing me more I’ll be giving them a try.

139 1 6 formations.png

In under 18 minutes we’re a goal down. We push too far forward and allow the hosts to break. Larrodo’s diagonal ball onto the left is latched onto by Bazile, he whips a great cross in from the byline and Thill pops up to head home from close range. You’d think that because I recognised that we pushed too far forward, I’d do something about it tactically. I don’t though and less than 10 minutes later we’re 0-2 down. Taking advantage of our defence’s high line, Soudani chips a ball straight over the top and Thill controls it well and calmly finds the bottom corner. Bollocks.

And so about 10 minutes after the nick of time, I spring into action. We go on the counter. Tirard and Zoun swap wings and play as out and out wingers while Aidir will hold the ball up as a lone target man. I’m not sure if our chance of a result has already slipped away though.

It certainly seems like it. Our only semi-meaningful contribution of the half is when Hicham Aidir dribbles forward and tries his luck from 35 yards, but Darko Dejanovic catches it comfortably. At half time I’m honestly sympathetic towards the players. This deficit is my doing, going all gung-ho away from home against a decent team.

In the 53rd minute the hosts are toying with us. Kums plays a pinpoint pass through the left channel for Bazile, who smashes the ball at goal and is denied by a good parry from Lenogue. We’ll try to exploit the flanks to bypass their defensive midfield pairing but we’re still really struggling to find a foothold.

With half an hour to play we do go close. Joël chips a nice ball into the box for Aidir to run onto and the Moroccan drills it towards the bottom corner, but Dejanovic saves well. From the resulting corner Tirard swings a decent cross in for our striker but Hicham’s header flashes wide of the far post.

In desperation we go 4-4-2, sacrificing Raf for Florian Ayé. We go back on the attack and play more direct to the big men up top. Apart from a Thill potshot 10 minutes later though, the match is dead. A deserved 0-2 loss.

139 1 7 post.png

So what have we learned? Well for one thing, don’t start gloating about how much better your keeper is at keeping clean sheets than a rival keeper right before you play the rival keeper’s fucking team. That’s a good rule of thumb. And definitely don’t go out to attack a good team on their turf. That was a rookie error. Lastly, don’t give your players “One last chance” to impress you and then fuck the match up yourself. There’s a lot to be learned here actually.

139 2 2 pre match.png

Fortunately we have a chance to bounce back before the international break starts and I want 2 wins from the 2 matches we have before the players jet off. The squads have been named and in terms of Auxerre players, Zoun, Raf, Ba and Doucouré are all off to join up with their national sides, while interestingly our loaned out full back Billy gets his first Morocco call up for his good form in Belgium. There’s no such call up for Hicham Aidir though.

139 2 1 int duty.png

And we will bounce back. We’d better anyway. Chamois Niortais are not a good side. They’re languishing just above the relegation zone and I want to make up for that loss with a thumping win to deepen their relegation fears. Phil Foden’s thankfully back in full training but he won’t be fit enough to play today.

139 2 3 preview.png

So as we’ve established, I made a right dick of myself in the Metz game. After giving ultimatums to 2 of my players, the blame for the loss ended up falling well and truly on my shoulders, so here’s what I’ll do: I am making no changes whatsoever. I won’t hold that result against any of the players and they’ll get another chance to impress me today. A home match against Chamois Niortais is a much more appropriate time to go out on the front foot and it’s a great opportunity for Lamine and Corentin to win me over.

139 2 4 formations.png

Fomba shows a great glimpse of quality for our first chance on goal: He dinks the ball beautifully onto Aidir’s left foot and the big striker shapes his body well to volley it goalwards, but it just misses the bottom left corner. 10 minutes before the break though a couple of our in form players get us off the mark. Joël squares the ball for Zoun 20 yards out and our nippy winger finds the top right corner. Postage stamp.

In first half injury time El Hajhouj turns Captiste inside out with some fancy footwork to make some space on the edge of our box, but he spoons his shot over the bar. He’s ruing his missed opportunity as we enter the 2nd minute of injury time when Joël harries an opposition midfielder to win the ball high up, plays a one-two with Aidir, lofts a great through ball into the path of Zoun on the left, who buries it to double his tally. We go in for the break on the right side of a 2-0 lead this time.

10 minutes after the game gets back underway, Raf plays a long ball onto the left for the electric Zoun to chase. The keeper Racciopi runs out onto the wing to clear his lines but Raf has the sheer audacity to volley the ball straight back towards goal from the half way line. My heart stops. The keeper’s beaten… But it’s heading wide. Out of nowhere, Hicham Aidir latches onto the ball and tries a shot from a tight angle… And hits the post. That could’ve been the moment of the season. Raf, you rascal.

Aidir’s not had a great couple of matches to be honest. I bring him off with 25 minutes to play to see if Ayé can do any better. That’s pretty much that though. Rocheteau tests Lenogue with a decent effort late on and Goujon and Aguilar make late appearances, but we come away with a thoroughly acceptable 2-0 victory. Joël and Zoun have, as usual, been far more than acceptable. They both put in exemplary performances today.

139 2 5 post.png

And now we wait with bated breath to see whether we’ll keep our 3 point lead at the top of Ligue 2. Bourg are currently 3 points behind but they do have a hugely important game in hand. Fingers crossed they fuck it up.

139 3 1 league.png

Episode 140 >

A New Hope (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep138)

It’s time for our annual intake of academy graduates.

Start from the start with episode 1

< Mini-sode 137.5

So yes, fine. I threw a bit of a wobbler last week against Ajaccio, I’ll admit that. I lost my head. We weren’t good enough on the day, we didn’t come close to the high standards that I’ve come to expect from AJ Auxerre and I was fuming. But that’s football isn’t it? The sport where Portugal and Greece can win the Euros, Chelsea can lose to Bradford and Ian Holloway can take Blackpool FC into the Premier League without a bloody washing machine at the club for the players’ kits, all the while making comparisons to pulling at the end of a night out. The mad bastard. Football can be unpredictable and emotions often run high. So fuck it, live and learn. I’m also being advised to “congratulate” Ajaccio on their victory, so… Yeah, well fucking done.

Seriously though, sincere congratulations to Ajaccio for crocking my revelation of an inside forward. Phil Foden took a whack during the match and came away with broken ribs, so he’ll miss about a month of football. That to me is the equivalent of a jealous older sibling seeing that their younger sibling has a better set of toys than they do and lashing out by… Oh I don’t know… Elbowing them right in the abdomen like some kind of shit eating, brain dead troglodyte.

138 1 1 foden inj.png

Anyway with my sincere and heartfelt apologies out of the way, let’s move onto some better news, shall we? Hicham Aidir always lifts spirits so let’s start with the fact that he’s only gone and set his 2nd club goals record in as many seasons at as many clubs. Bloody hell, he never ceases to amaze me. He’s on 19 for the season so far with 14 matches still to play, which already eclipses our own Florian Ayé’s tally of 18 set in the 2017/18 season. You’d better up your game, Florian.

138 1 2 aidir record.pngFor a change though it’s not Hicham that’s catching the eye the most, it’s our in-form pair Zoun and Abdoulaye Sissako, who are voted 2nd and 3rd respectively in the Ligue 2 Player of the Month competition. They’ve been excellent since the break. Zoun in particular has really impressed me, taking to his new role on the left like a duck to water.

In more brilliant news it’s time for our annual intake of academy graduates. I always like to pay close attention to the new generation and being at a club with such a great reputation for bringing players through, this year will be no different.

138 1 3 youth intake.png

In no particular order let’s introduce some of the most promising of the bunch. First up and hailing from The Woodlands in Texas, USA, is right winger Patrick Granger, brought through our ranks thanks to our ongoing affiliation with Texas Rush. He’s one that I’m going to keep an eye on despite his lack of ambition because he’s a quick, aggressive team player who knows how to score from range and with a better attitude and improvements in certain areas, he could be decent.

138 1 4 granger

Then there’s 14 year old Sylvain Laurent from Belfort, a couple of cities East of us. He’s a definite prospect and puts me in mind of Juno from Santos; A brave, hard working and tough-tackling defensive midfielder who’s also full of tricks on the ball and has a free kick up his sleeve to boot. He’s got an interesting combination of skills that could well prove be useful.

138 1 5 laurent

Mathis Roux is another 14 year old home grown talent, hailing from Orléans. He’s definitely in my preferred mould; high level of fitness, very determined, good decision maker and team player and able technically too. He likes to play in central midfield but could become a good number 10 too. He thinks he can also play as a striker but I respectfully disagree as he’s even worse at shooting than I was in my day.

138 1 6 roux

And finally, Brazilian-born/French-raised Celsiney Andre, or “Celsiney” as he’s already dubbed himself. The thought crosses my mind that if 15 year olds are already working on ‘Branding’ then humanity has officially failed, but hey ho. Celsiney Andre is an extremely determined right full back, which puts him back on my radar. He’s also terrifically brave and pretty quick too, so I look forward to seeing to what extent he can improve his god awful technical skills.

138 1 7 celsiney

I’ve (finally) learned my lesson from previous seasons and refrained from offering pre-contracts to those lads until after they’ve played for the grads against our U19’s, as in previous years they’ve gone straight into the latter team and haven’t played in this showcase match.

138 1 10 u19s v youth formations.png

Interestingly though, not all of the 4 standout kids start the match. With the grads opting for Project: Burnie Mk III, there’s no wingers and so Granger has to settle for a spot on the bench. Laurent, Celsiney and Roux however all start against the U19’s Project: Meatloaf, which is quickly scrapped in favour of their own Project: Burnie Mk III. A wise choice.

It’s a quiet match to be honest and the grads really fight for a result, but are undone when the Under 19’s sub right back Brice Traoré whips in a corner that’s headed home by centre back Rui Correia. They’re made to work hard for the narrow victory though and I am impressed by the noobies’ performance.

138 1 11 post.png

When the match is over the youth contracts are handed out and pre-contracts are given to the 4 who’ve caught my eye. They eagerly sign.

138 2 2 candidates signed.png

It’s time to shift focus back to the first team though because the race to break Jérôme Mombris’ assist record of 12 in a season is heating up. Foden looked certain to break it first, but now that he’s sitting out for the foreseeable future the door’s opened up for Joël Soumahoro, who’s on 10 assists. The joke’s on me again as just like when I brought him to Santos, I had doubts in the summer over Joël’s ability to stake a claim for a regular first team place in a Ligue 2 side. I’ll gladly eat my words… Well, my thoughts, for the second season in a row though. He may not be the biggest, toughest, fastest or most skilful, but my God the young Ivorian gets results.

138 2 3 joel nears record.png

US Orléans are the side making the trip to Auxerre today and after the Ajaccio match I’m looking for us to bounce straight back. It’s fitting that I should have just watched our young talents battle it out with Project: Meatloaf Mk III, because Orléans play with a 4-4-2 so I’m bringing it back.

138 2 4 preview.png

We’ll feel the game out with a standard mentality. I don’t want us charging out too recklessly against a team with a strong attack and I don’t want us to sit back too much either. In terms of personnel, Faouzi Hikem and Raf are of course suspended, so Aguilar and Goujon are in. Or they would’ve been but Goujon twists his knee just before the match and misses out on a rare start. Fomba starts instead, while Ayé and Captiste also make the lineup at the expense of the injured Foden and the unfortunate Zoun, who doesn’t fit into this shape. Orléans play with that delightfully nostalgic big man/little man duo up front with 6’5″ target man Toutain and non-6’5″ all rounder Wissa. Mike Kakuba, still one of the most aerially dominant defenders I’ve worked with, will mark the former, while Doucouré marks the latter, both with instructions to stay tight as they should have their men for pace too. Captiste makes his reintroduction between them and will push into the hole to start moves and break up attacks. Oh, and I do apologise to Mike for what I said after the last match. And not nearly as sarcastically as I apologised to Ajaccio.

138 2 5 formations.png

We get off to a good start, with Orléans being pretty well nullified making a good base for us to build upon. In the 17th minute we open the scoring with an absolute beauty. An Aguilar throw in on the left wing starts a rapid 6 pass move that ends with Aidir taking a touch and clipping the ball past Despirez and into the bottom corner. An excellent start marked by an excellent striker’s 20th goal of the season.

We nearly double our money 15 minutes later when Joël, on corner duty after Phil was brutally savaged last match, crosses from the set piece and finds Captiste at the far post. The skipper heads the ball back across goal and Fomba gets his head to it, but can only direct it into the grateful arms of the Orléans keeper. But then just as I start to feel like we’re on course for another bright, bright, sunshiney day, Sissako has to hobble off with the assistance of one of the physios. We suspect a sprained ankle. This is troubling with Raf suspended and Goujon out as I don’t have any senior backup for him, but it’s even more troubling because I’ve grown to bloody love Abdoulaye Sissako and his ridiculous levels of energy. He limps down the tunnel with a grimace and I turn to young Gaizka Basauri for his first appearance in quite a while. Even though he’s quite creative I just want him picking up where Sissako left off for now as a ball winner.

Gaizka looks solid after his introduction and we continue to dominate without adding to our lead. At half time I’m careful not to seem overly happy as this is the exact situation we had at half time against Ajaccio. I don’t have to worry for too long though. Just before the hour mark and after another lovely flowing move, Fomba slips Samba in behind the defence on the right, our right back squares the ball for Florian Ayé and he drills it home for 2-0.

5 minutes later the visitors react, hauling off their mountainous striker Toutain and replacing him with Morel, who is about as far in the opposite direction as you can get. He’s small, low centre of gravity and fucking rapid. We ditch the tight marking and I have Basauri and Joël drop back to form a 3-3-2-2 formation with a deeper defensive line, which should hopefully clog up the channels and prevent their 2 nippy strikers from getting in behind us.

And to be fair, it works. We’re unlucky not to add a 3rd 10 minutes later when Basauri’s corner is headed against the post by Lamine Fomba and I even give a cameo to young Amine Chassaing, who is another youngster I’d planned on using this season. I do still think this squad’s a bit flabby because I’m not giving these kids nearly as much time as I’d like to. I’ll stick a pin in that thought for the summer though. We shut up shop and take our 3 points. It’s a professional performance and I’m more than happy.

138 2 6 post

Ah, what a difference a week makes. Records are crumbling, another 3 points are up on the board, some of the kids are getting to play and more tiny reinforcements are scurrying up through the system. A new hope has been breathed into Auxerre and I feel like a completely new man.

But I do wish Bourg-en-Bresse would PISS. RIGHT. OFF.

138 3 1 league

Episode 139 >

Going Swimmingly (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep137)

Huh.

Start from the start with episode 1

< Episode 136

At the risk of tempting fate, everything’s going fucking swimmingly for AJ Auxerre at the moment. We’re top of the league, unbeaten in 7, starting to sweep lesser teams aside, Xavier Lenogue’s a single clean sheet away from equalling a league record and now we’re apparently the subject of a takeover, courtesy of a mysterious “Former footballer”.

137 1 1 unbeaten 7

137 1 3 lenogue nears record

The owner Mr James and Chairman Mr Chabod are very much keeping me in the dark with regards to the identity of the potential buyers, so I’ve been spending my downtime speculating about this mysterious consortium. My leading theory so far is that Auxerre favourite Eric Cantona, together with his contacts at Stella Artois, the second shittest lager on the market, is coming back to his old club to lead us into a glorious new era.

137 1 4 consortium interested.png

We’ve got several players in the Domino’s Ligue 2 Team of the Week again, including 3 of our starting defenders Issa Samba, Mamadou Doucouré and Mike Kakuba, along with Abdoulaye Sissako, Joël Soumahoro and Zoun. The 4-0 win over Nîmes really was a walk-over and it’s great to see so many of the lads get recognition for their performances.

137 1 2 totw.png

Corentin Tirard’s ruled himself out for a couple of weeks with a groin strain, but I think at this point I’ve made my indifference towards him perfectly clear, so I’m not counting his being crocked as a grey cloud in Auxerre’s perfect blue February sky.

137 1 5 tirard inj.png

We’re taking on 18th placed US Créteil-Lusitanos today at the Stade de l’Abbé-Deschamps. It’s a match that the visitors won’t have been looking forward to at all but it’s one that I’m eagerly anticipating. To be fair I’m excited for every match at the minute because I get to watch this Auxerre side’s scintillating football.

137 1 7 preview.png

Créteil shouldn’t pose a major problem today so I’m sticking with our all out attacking Project: Meatloaf. Mike Kakuba’s giving me a bit of a headache at the minute as he barely put a foot wrong in the absence of Captiste last week and I’m struggling to think of a reason to recall my captain to the side. It’s a great headache to have though. I am making one change for today’s match however and that’s Hicham Aidir, who I’m resting in favour of Florian Ayé. Hicham was quiet in the Nîmes game but I’m not dropping him for that. I just want to give Florian a run out and I reckon we can take care of Créteil without our talismanic Moroccan. The absences of Captiste and Hicham mean that Issa Samba gets the armband. The full back’s stood in before and I trust him to do a job as our skipper.

137 1 8 formations.png

The first half an hour is slow on the pitch but is by no means quiet in the stadium. The home fans are in fine voice, buoyed by the team’s recent form. Belief and expectations are high and rightly so. After 20 minutes I tell the team to try to exploit the flanks as we’re finding it tricky to break down the Créteil defence. They’ve started with 2 holding men in front of the back 4 and a midfielder in front of them, so the centre of the pitch is very congested. The change pays dividends quickly when in the 32nd minute Joël passes the ball short to Zoun 20 yards out, who turns and blasts it over the keeper, against the underside of the crossbar and in. Take a bloody bow mate.

I want to press our advantage. The goal means that the visitors need to come out of their half and actually try to score so we’ll play with more width, we’ll roam from our positions and we’ll play some expressive football like the Project: Meatloaf of old. If they try to get at us I want us popping up in the gaps and pulling their defence apart. We don’t manage another first half goal but on the hour we double our advantage. After setting up the opener Joël tries to bag himself a goal and shoots from 20 yards, but his shot’s immediately blocked. The ball only rolls away a few yards as far as Raf though and he puts his laces through it, nearly bursting the net with a fantastic effort. We’ll need to make a DVD of this game or something because these goals have been excellent.

In an effort to give us even more width, Foden and Zoun swap flanks and will play as out and out wingers, staying wide to stretch the defence even more than our overlapping full backs have been doing so far. With 20 minutes to play though Créteil win a corner. Berthier whips it into the box and although he rises well, Kakuba can only flick the ball on towards the far post with his head. Niakaté gets there quickest and heads towards goal, bringing a good save from Lenogue, but he can’t keep hold of the ball and drops it at the feet of Jimenez. The Créteil man shoots desperately from a narrow angle but captain Issa Samba dives in to knock it behind for another corner.

About 10 minutes later I make a rare triple substitution, giving Aidir, Ba and Fomba chances to impress me. Ayé, Foden and Raf make way. With 5 minutes to go Hikem brings the ball forwards and gets a cross in from the left wing. Leca clears the ball but not far enough and it falls for Abdoulaye Sissako, who thumps a Di-Canio-esque volley towards goal from the edge of the area but can only watch it crash against the far post. Zoun’s beaten to the rebound and the ball’s cleared. I feel somewhat for Abdoulaye, who very nearly took his recent tally to 5 goals in 5 games, which would’ve been pretty astonishing for a midfielder whose skillset is primarily based around defence.

We do manage to put the cherry on top though. Just a couple of minutes after Sissako hits the post, Aidir holds the ball up and tries to slip Ba in behind the defence on the left. He’s thwarted by an absolutely superb slide tackle by Bangoura, but the ball only rolls back to Aidir, whose shot deflects in off Boyer. They all count, Hicham. Another extremely pleasing 90 minutes ends 3-0.

137 1 9 post.png

137 2 7 pre match.png

Oh for fucks sake, can somebody ask Ruben Aguilar to stop ruining my excellent mood? As Captiste and I have explained to him many times, there’s no way I’m dropping Issa Samba or Faouzi Hikem unless their form drops. Or they get suspended. Which they almost certainly will do sooner or later actually, so I don’t know what he keeps whinging about. Luckily, we all know how this goes: Aguilar kicks off, Captiste steps in, puts an arm round the full back and makes him see sense. God, I love Captiste.

137 2 2 aguilar unh.png

137 2 3 aguilar fine.png

137 2 1 unbeaten 8

Just the 3 players in the Team of the Week this time, too. If I didn’t have such a naturally sunny disposition I’d be starting to feel a bit crestfallen. Mike Kakuba, Raf and Joël are our trio, although I reckon Zoun’s unlucky to be left out. I’d stick him in there for that goal alone.

137 2 4 totw.png

Now don’t get me wrong, as Matthew Wilder once said: “Ain’t nothin’ gonna break my stride”, but do you remember Alessandro Bassani, the promising young winger that I was planning on blooding into the squad this season but who broke his ankle early on? Well he’s back! And he’s picked up a bloody sports hernia, ruling him out for another 4-5 weeks. It really is lucky that I’m so fucking chipper, isn’t it?

137 2 5 bassani inj.png

Now here’s some good news: Xavier Lenogue has levelled the Ligue 2 clean sheet record of 15, meaning another in our next match will set a new league record. Good lad.

137 2 6 lenogue nears record.png

Speaking of our next game, we’ll be playing AC Ajaccio away from home today and they’re another club that are struggling to beat the drop at the minute. I’ll not show any mercy though. Bourg-en-Bresse have latched right onto us at the top of Ligue 2 and just won’t piss off, staying level with us on 55 points but behind because of their inferior goal difference, and I want us to keep winning until we shake them off. Incidentally though, a 7 point gap’s opened up between the two of us and Stade de Reims in 3rd, which is extremely promising in terms of our promotion bid.

137 2 8 preview.png

The only change I’ll make today is bringing Hicham Aidir back in. I was hoping that Ayé would put in a performance to give me something to think about against Créteils-Lusitanos, but he went missing an awful lot and will have to wait for another chance. Benjamin Valette, the youngster who was sold to Marseille in the Summer and loaned out to Ajaccio, starts against us for the second time.

137 2 9 formations

This is all becoming too easy. It only takes 20 minutes for Joël, who’s now officially in superb form, to pass short to Aidir on the edge of the box and for our captain to stroke the ball firmly past the lesser Mandanda to give us the lead. It’s another dominant half of football and we nearly go 2-0 up in first half injury time when Sissako picks out Samba charging up the wing on the overlap. Samba chests it down and lays it off for Foden, who plays it on to Aidir and he shoots on the turn, but can only scuff the ball wide of the near post.

I keep it simple at half time and send the lads back out with smiles on their faces. Smiles that are wiped away only 5 minutes after the restart, when Vincent scoops a beautiful pass over the top of our defence for Vasseur, who cuts in from the left, controls the ball with his first touch and half volleys it into the far corner of our net with his second. Huh. Still confident in our ability to retake the lead though I sacrifice the more defensive Raf and Zoun, who’s had a quiet game, for Fomba and Ba 5 minutes later. Less than a minute after the duo come on, a Vincent cross is floated towards our far post from the right byline and Mike Kakuba brings down the goalscorer Vasseur in the box. Huh. The referee points to the spot and awards a penalty to AC Ajaccio, which Legchilin converts, sending Lenogue the wrong way… Huh.

We’re behind. We’re losing. To a bunch of bloody relegation strugglers. I honestly don’t know if I’m shocked or furious. Maybe I’m both. But it’s lucky I’m still in such a good mo… 10 minutes after Ajaccio’s 2nd goal, Phil Foden takes an elbow to the chest jumping for a header and has to go off. Huh. Yeah I’m fucking furious. Everything that could have gone wrong in this second half has so far gone wrong. I throw Florian Ayé onto the right as a makeshift wide target man but I’m beginning to lose hope.

It’s not until injury time at the end of the game that we start to show signs of fighting back. In the 91st minute Adama Ba tries his luck from 25 yards but Mandanda catches the shot easily. 2 minutes later we’re really pushing though and Aidir’s holding the ball up 25 yards out. After that it all happens in slow motion: A centre back is drawn out of position… There’s a gaping hole in the Ajaccio back line… Lamine Fomba charges into the space and receives the ball from Hicham… He’s got all the space in the World… And he spoons it wide from 6 yards out with his weaker foot. I think we’re done for today.

137 2 10 post.png

Now let’s be rational about this because I want to know if I’m going over the top here. Am I annoyed that we’ve lost against a side that we were heavy favourites to beat? Sure. Am I frustrated that we allowed both of their 2 second half shots to find the back of the net? Yes. Am I vexed that we were unable to add to our only goal or record more shots on target ourselves? Definitely. Am I angry that Bourg-en-Bresse also lost today and a win would’ve lifted us 3 points clear at the top for the first time this season? Take a fucking guess.

137 2 11 unbeaten streak over.png

In fact, no. Do you know what? Yes I’m angry with how this game’s unfolded. Fuck Ajaccio, fuck their 2 shots, fuck Bourg-en-Bresse, fuck Mike Kakuba and fuck the brute that jabbed poor Phil Foden in the chest.

137 3 1 league.png

Mini-sode 137.5 >

Phil-led With Pride (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep136)

Come at me, Bourg.

Side note: Morning! I’ve got a quick favour to ask of all you fine folks: I’m going to start posting these story episodes on the r/footballmanagergames subreddit again as they’re starting to feature FM stories based on the amount of upvotes the author gets on their post. Becoming featured could allow me and this story to reach a lot of new potential readers, so if you have a reddit account and a spare second, I’d really appreciate it if you’d follow this link and upvote one of my posts! Cheers and enjoy the episode!

Start from the start with episode 1

< Episode 135

Do you know what I’m most proud of about this season? Because it’s not our undeniable overachievement in the League and it’s not our almost unparalleled defensive and offensive goal records either. It’s Phil bloody Foden. It genuinely could’ve gone either way when I brought him in and I’d never spent as much as £500k on a player before, which would’ve made signing him a big mistake on my part if things hadn’t gone to plan. Before this season he’d barely played competitive football in his career, instead being a stalwart for Man City’s youth teams as a sort of luxury number 10. He’s really started to shine in Ligue 2 though and that’s why I’m so proud. In fact he’s already on 9 assists for the season and will almost certainly break Jérôme Mombris’ club record of 12 from the 2018/19 season before the final game. His impact has been especially noticeable in our few games since the winter break, not because of his goal and 3 assists in those 4 matches, but because of his obvious growing intelligence as a right sided inside forward. As I heard one pundit* astutely observe recently, “How satisfying is it seeing him utterly nailing the inside forward role to perfection, especially after his early struggles? On the ball, he’s cutting inside and dragging defenders with him before slipping clever reverses through to Aidir. Off the ball, he’s making darting far-post runs and getting tap-ins. Lovely stuff.” Good lad, Phil.

136 1 1 foden nears record.png

Today we host ESTAC Troyes, which I’ve really been looking forward to. After our recent humbling defeat in Bordeaux this really is the ideal match in which to bounce back. We’ve got a fantastic record against ESTAC Troyes in our previous 3 encounters under my stewardship, winning on all 3 occasions. Let’s hope we can make it 4 out of 4.

136 1 3 preview.png

Today though I’ve got a bit of a headache because I’m not quite sure how to line up against them. I attribute a lot of our success this season to the fact that in pretty much every match I’ve set up primarily to nullify the opposition, whether that means playing 3 at the back and man marking their front 2, playing a narrow formation to strangle the opposition’s central players, etc. But I’m not sure how Troyes will line up. They’ve been a bit all over the place recently, having used a 4-2-3-1, a different 4-2-3-1 with deeper central midfielders, a 4-1-2-3 and a flat 4-3-3. In the end though I remember the words that dear old Ms Alexandersson bestowed upon me: “Don’t overthink it.” Why should I try to nullify Troyes? We’re going with our new and improved attacking variant of Project: Meatloaf and they can have a good hard think about how they’re going to deal with us. I’m making a couple of changes from the team that lost in the cup: Aguilar and Goujon are both suspended but conveniently Samba and Raf are back from their suspensions, so they come back in at right back and centre midfield respectively. Phil Foden’s shaken off the sniffles so he comes back in for Adama Ba on the right, with Zoun swapping back to the left where he’s recently impressed.

136 1 4 formations.png

The first half is a quite horrible experience. Troyes do set up in a 4-2-3-1 with deep midfielders which I don’t mind, but what really ruins my plan is the weather. It’s a bitterly cold day with sleet pelting the pitch. The surface is slippery and not ideal for dribbling or playing the ball on the deck, which is what we’re trying to do. We do get a chance with about 5 minutes to go before the break when Sissako passes to Foden on the edge of the box though. Phil turns onto his left foot and rifles a low shot towards the far corner, but the ball cannons back off the post, rolls across the line and is cleared before Aidir can knock in the rebound.

At half time I decide that we need to go more direct because of the conditions. Aidir will play as more of a target man and we’ll knock the ball up to him quicker. With half an hour to go though the scores are still level. Joël makes way as we’re bypassing him anyway and Florian Ayé comes on as a second target man in a 4-2-4 formation. Foden and Zoun swap flanks and will try to get more crosses in to the big lads as out and out wingers.

Not even 2 minutes after Ayé’s introduction, Foden stands over a free kick 25 yards out on the right. He chips a cross in towards the penalty spot towards Ayé, but Samuel Grandsir leaps in and clears the ball. All of a sudden the referee blows his whistle and points to the spot. Penalty! The ref judges Grandsir to have raised his foot too high, but I have to say I’m really surprised he’s given us that. The winger’s boot was nowhere near high enough to be a danger to Ayé. He’s 5’6″ for fucks sake, he’s surely physically incapable of kicking anyone in the face. I won’t look a gift horse in the mouth though and with Troyes’ manager Oscar Ewolo still fuming nearby, Ayé steps up himself and buries the ball into the bottom corner from 12 yards.

10 minutes later I bring on Adama Ba for Zoun on the right wing and within minutes he nearly makes just as much of an impact. Another Foden free kick, this time out on the right wing, is flicked on by Sissako and headed by Ba at the far post, but he hits the post. With 5 minutes to go we look to control the game and hopefully kill it off. There are a couple of late chances though, firstly in the 91st minute when Hubert tests Lenogue from 20 yards and forces a decent save, then a minute later MBuemo fizzes a shot across the face of goal. Lenogue doesn’t even move and looks even more relieved than I feel when the ball goes just wide of the far post. I’ll take the 1-0 win, even if it doesn’t feel all that deserved.

136 1 5 post.png

136 2 7 pre match.png

With that result in the bag though we’re unbeaten in 6 league games, which is a great feeling. Xavier Lenogue will be feeling the best of us all as that result takes him to 14 clean sheets; A new club record. 13 of those have been in the league too and he’s closing in on the Ligue 2 record of 15 in a season, which was set by Darko Dejanovic of FC Metz last season.

136 2 1 unbeaten 6

136 2 2 lenogue record

136 2 6 lenogue nears record

The week that follows is full of club news: Firstly Jérôme Mombris is hanging up his boots in the summer. It’s a wise decision in my opinion. He was obviously a very good full back in his pomp but his 30’s have taken away any pace that he might have once had. In my opinion though he’s still got a bright future, possibly as a coach, assistant or even a Manager. I may even see if he wants to stay on at the club in some capacity in the Summer.

136 2 3 mombris retiring

136 2 4 mombris

A few days later I find out that a takeover may be on the cards too, which is always exciting, if a bit disruptive. The club’s Chinese owner Zhou James is looking to step down and there’s rumblings of some local investment. Watch this space, I suppose.

136 2 5 owner selling.png

Our next match, which marks Abdoulaye Sissako’s 100th for the club, takes us to Nîmes Olympique for another reunion with Isaac Sohna and his temporary teammates. Nîmes are sitting comfortably in mid table but after our 3-0 win in the reverse fixture I’ll be looking for another comfortable victory today.

136 2 8 preview.png

We’re almost unchanged today, with the exception of Captiste, who’s suspended and replaced by Mike Kakuba. Mike’s been very patient this season, watching on from the sidelines as I build a solid defence without him. It hasn’t really helped him that although our full backs and central midfielders need shuffling literally every match because of these silly suspensions, our centre back pairing has kept their powder pretty much dry until this point. Captiste’s absence doesn’t just have big consequences for Mike though, because as our captain sits in the stands we need somebody else to turn to for leadership. Hicham Aidir, Auxerre vice captain, takes the armband for the first time.

136 2 9 formations.png

The first real chance of the match falls nearly 20 minutes in after our corner’s cleared by the Nîmes defence. Samba plays the ball to Raf, who passes short to Zoun, cutting in from the left as usual. As the hosts hesitate to close him down, the Burkinabe winger has time to take aim and fire – into the far corner of the net. It’s a great start and an even better finish.

The home side might peg us back 10 minutes later, but when Buzaglo sends a 35 yard free kick soaring into the box, Doucouré clears it firmly. Raf receives the ball and looks up to see Phil Foden tearing into space on the left wing and picks him out with a superb long ball. Foden pulls it back to Zoun, who tees up Sissako, and the 100 match graduate drills the ball home to put us 2-0 up.

That’d be enough for me in an extremely dominant first half, but we don’t relent. 5 minutes later Foden floats a free kick into the Nîmes 6 yard box and the keeper comes out and misses the ball. His defender bails him out by heading it clear, but only as far as Joël, who nods it down so that Zoun can smash the ball into the empty net. We head in for the break with a deserved 3 goal lead.

As we approach the hour mark the cherry is well and truly placed on top when a quick passing move culminates with Joël teeing up Sissako on the edge of the box before the man of the day fires in our 4th and becomes the 2nd player to bag a brace. Satisfied with a job well done, I replace our booked pair Hikem and Raf with Goujon and Fomba and we see out the game without a problem.

136 2 10 post.png

I obviously single out Sissako, Joël and Zoun for praise after the final whistle, but this has been an excellent team performance. I suppose the downside of our aggregate 7-0 win over Nîmes this season is that Isaac Sohna has really failed to impress me, which is worrying. He is definitely improving but if all goes well we’ll be in Ligue 1 next season and if he can’t cut it at this level… We’ll deal with that in the Summer. All that matters today is the 3 points, which combined with Bourg-en-Bresse ‘s 1-1 draw against Ajaccio leaves us sitting atop the league. We just need to try and stay here this time. Come at me, Bourg.

136 3 1 league.png

*Top analysis @Sammuthegreat on fm-base. Cheers mate!

Episode 137 >

Godspeed, Godspower (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep135)

Let’s see if we’re ready to take on a Ligue 1 club.

< Episode 134

As deadline day approaches I’m not stressing or fretting about deals still to be finished like some of the other managers in the league. I’ve had a quiet window. Well a silent one really. I don’t think we need bolstering at the minute though, if anything we’re still a little bit flabby. We’ve got good cover in every single area of the pitch, except arguably at left back, but I’m not especially worries about that. More on that in a second though because I do allow some outgoings in the final days of January. Georges Bailly and Tristan Dubois both head out on loan to JA Drancy and Le Mont LS, while I turn down an approach from Southampton for young defender Nicholas Charlet. They initially come in with the insultingly low ball figure of £150k and after some really frustrating negotiations they still don’t come close to his £500k asking price.

We’re making the trip to USBCO in the league before the window slams shut though. They’re having a tough old time of it so far this season and are currently propping up the league, while we’re 2 points behind the league leaders Bourg-en-Bresse. You’d think because we’ve recently comfortably beaten the latter that a victory over the former should be a breeze, but doesn’t it seem so entirely football that we should lose this one, lulled into a false sense of security after our recent form?

135 1 6 preview.png

Hopefully not though. I mentioned before that we’re light at left back and we’re certainly going to see if I should have signed back up today because Faouzi Hikem’s suspended after reaching 3 yellow cards in his last 10 matches. I’ve got faith in Ruben Aguilar though, our backup right back who’s currently unhappy with his lack of playing time. He did a job at left wing back against Zlatan’s Valenciennes, even scoring the winning goal, so I reckon he’ll do a job today. Abdoulaye Sissako also comes back into midfield after his suspension at the expense of Lamine Fomba, who’s still not showing me what he can really do. We’re also going back to our attacking Project: Meatloaf system which may be tempting fate, but on the other hand… Come on, they’re bottom of the bloody league. We’re going to play wider than usual, we’ll press them hard and get our attackers running at the defence. I want us to tear these apart, ideally.

135 1 7 formations.png

It seems I needn’t have worried too much. 11 minutes in a USBCO throw next to their own penalty area is fumbled by David Charles and Zoun heads it straight into the box for Aidir. Obviously he thumps it past Thuram-Ulien. It’s 1-0 but we can’t afford to relax. 2 minutes later we can though when Foden receives the ball 20 yards out, draws the centre backs out of position and slips the ball casually through for Aidir, who takes a touch and places it firmly past the keeper for 2-0.

By the 26th minute it’s 3-0, this time from a Foden corner that’s flicked on by Doucouré and volleyed by Captiste straight into the crowd of bodies in the box. A quick game of pinball ensues and ends when Sissako stabs the ball home from 6 yards out. A couple more minutes pass and we have the chance to extend our lead further, but when Aidir gets in behind the defence courtesy of a good long ball from Loïc Goujon, his shot is turned behind brilliantly by Thuram-Ulien.

It almost slips my mind, such is the action at the opposite end, that our young loanee Brahim Ferhat is on USBCO’s left wing. He makes me sit up and pay attention with about 10 minutes to go before the break though when he bursts down the flank, leaving Issa Samba for dead. He approaches the byline and whips the ball back to the edge of our bo, where Loquet arrives to place it beautifully, first time into the bottom corner. I allow myself a wry smile. We’re in such good form that it makes sense. The first goal we’ve conceded in 2022 is created by one of our own.

Half time passes and I bring off Joël at the hour mark. He’s been OK today but he’s struggled to make a real impact, finding himself isolated between USBCO’s 2 holding men. Lamine Fomba comes on and I want him to throw his weight around a bit up there as more of a destroyer. Just seconds later we grab ourselves another goal. It’s not Fomba, although I would have been extremely smug if it was. No, Ruben Aguilar, solid again at left back so far, whips a cross in towards the far post from deep on the left. It’s a flat, angled cross and it’s easy for Foden to anticipate. Phil arrives to tap the ball home from close range for 4-1. A few minutes later Fomba takes a potshot from 30 yards but it drifts harmlessly wide. I choose to ignore it.

Still not content for some reason, I bring Adama Ba on for Zoun on the left with 20 minutes to go. He does nearly make an immediate impact, receiving a brilliant chipped pass from Fomba and crossing from the byline, but Aidir’s heavily outnumbered in the box and the ball’s headed clear. Lamine cushions it down for Ba though who volleys it first time – Against the far post. Unlucky.

With the game dead we drift into injury time. I don’t know if complacency drifts into our ranks but in the 91st minute the hosts’ goalscorer Arnaud Loquet crosses from deep on the right and who else but Brahim Ferhat pops up to poke the ball in at the far post. I give Brahim a subtle thumbs up as he runs past and he grins back at me. He’s not been prolific this season and that’s only his 3rd goal in 25 games, but he’s certainly impressed me today.

135 1 8 post.png

135 2 9 pre match.png

We’ve not lost in 5 league matches now, including 3 wins and a goal difference of +7. It’s extremely promising form but annoyingly it’s not enough to take the top spot back from Bourg. I wish they’d just stop bloody winning.

135 2 1 unbeaten 5.png

Anyway, deadline day is here and we’ve already lost our first player of the day. Phil Foden… Has a cold and won’t be fit for arguably the highest profile match of my career against Bordeaux tomorrow. Come on, Phil.

135 2 3 foden inj.png

We have actually lost our first player of the day though. Nicholas Charlet is going to Southampton after all after they come back in with a £750k bid with future incentives for the 15 year old. He can’t move until the Summer when he’s 16 but it’s all agreed. To be fair, it’s a big move for the lad and I hope he makes the most of it.

135 2 4 charlet moving.png

Godspower Tower’s leaving too, as much as it pains me to lose a player with such a fantastic name. He’s joining Diósgyör in Turkey for £500k, where hopefully he’ll get a bit more football. Godspeed, Godspower.

135 2 6 tower moves.png

And finally Crouchie lets me know that young midfielder Paul Lefevre is off to Fethiyespor on loan, again with first team football in mind to aid his development. I’ll keep a close eye on him. Well, Crouchie will, when he isn’t watching Isaac Sohna.

135 2 8 lefevre moves.png

And with that the deadline slams shut. I’m glad of it to be honest. The window’s nothing but an annoyance if you’re not planning on buying anyone and I’ve mainly been ignoring it over the last few days, because I’ve been focussing on this: Our French Cup 10th Round match away at Girondins de Bourdeaux.

135 2 10 preview.png

Only a madman would attack such a big team away from home, so I’m reverting once again to our counter attacking Project:Meatloaf Mk II. Foden’s out with his… Cold… And Samba’s suspended for (All together now) picking up 3 yellow cards in his last 10 matches. I’m never going to play a full strength side again, am I? But luckily Hikem’s back from his suspension so he comes in at left back, while Aguilar finally gets to play in his favoured position of right back. Adama Ba will cut in from the left after briefly impressing against USBCO, while Zoun moves over to the right wing. Let’s see if we’re ready to take on a Ligue 1 club.

135 2 11 formations.png

We threaten early on when Zoun leads a counter attack, darting with the ball through the centre of the pitch. He shoots from the edge of the area and sends it over the bar, but he gets an ovation from the travelling support even so. Our fans fall silent a minute later though when Bordeaux do some breaking of their own. Andersen feeds the ball through for young striker Gnago, who slams his shot against the near post. It’s a close call.

A few minutes later they’re starting to pen us into our own box. This time the ball’s on the right with Vida, who gets a cross in from the byline straight onto the head of Lo Faso at the far post. He powers a header – Against the angle from close range. Bloody hell. For a moment I get flashbacks to a certain bombardment in Stockholm, but our luck doesn’t last like it did that day. In the 17th minute Coco slides the ball across the edge of our box and Gnago turns the ball in under Lenogue at his near post.

The next 8 minutes are a painful watch. We stay under the cosh and concede not once, but twice more before the 25 minute mark. First through Andersen, who dribbles forwards and powers it in from the edge of the box, and then through Gnago again, who receives the ball from Acosta and beats Lenogue at his near post. Again.

And that’s how my first half of competitive football against a Ligue 1 club ends. 0-3 and utterly, thoroughly outclassed. Seeing as we’re pretty much out of the cup at this point anyway though, I choose to see this as an opportunity. How does our attacking Project: Meatloaf hold up against a much better side? I bring off Ba and replace him with a sniffling Phil Foden, who swaps with Zoun and moves onto the right. If we’re going to lose I’d like us to at least play some decent football and in the last few games we’ve played some brilliant stuff.

It bloody works within 2 minutes. First Zoun cuts in from the left and shoots, forcing a good save from Dimitrievski, and from the resulting corner Foden swings the ball right onto the penalty spot, where Sissako’s waiting to lash it home on the volley. Unfortunately though, Bordeaux take control back after that, perhaps realising that they let their guard down after the break. With half an hour to go we go 4-2-4, with Florian Ayé replacing Joël and joining Hicham up front and the 2 wide men swapping wings so that they can stay wide and float some crosses in on their favoured feet. A few minutes later we get at them again. This time a long ball from Hikem is brought down by Ayé and slipped through the defence for the onrushing Foden. He pokes the ball at goal but Dimitrievski saves well.

With 20 minutes to go we’re back against the wall though. Gnago goes close to completing his hat trick but is denied by a parried save by Lenogue, and then a close range free kick is bent just over the bar by Lo Faso. 10 minutes later that nuisance Gnago goes close again, receiving another great Acosta through ball and shooting just wide of the near post, but a few minutes later it’s Acosta himself that bags the final goal, firing past Lenogue from 20 yards after a good Bordeaux break. We go close with a couple of minutes to play when Foden’s corner is cushioned down by Hikem and volleyed goalwards by Captiste. The ball crashes against the underside of the bar but stays out. In all fairness, the better side has won.

135 2 12 post.png

It’s quite troubling, really. I’m aiming for promotion here and although Bordeaux are admittedly a good Ligue 1 team and not one of the strugglers, we were so thoroughly outplayed today that it really makes me wonder whether this team would cut it in the top flight. Or maybe it’s my system? Either way, if we hit our target this year I’m going to have to give this a lot of thought.

135 2 13 cup loss

135 3 1 league

Showdown (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep134)

We need to put down a marker and it needs to be now.

< Episode 133

“This match,” I begin, “Is going to define our entire season.” I’m pacing back and forth at the front of the changing room, all Auxerrois eyes fixed on me. “What are we doing? Are we just enjoying our luck or are we going for promotion? For the title? Because if we’re just here for the ride and we lose to Bourg-en-Bresse today, we’ll be 6 points behind them by the time that final whistle blows.” I stop pacing and stand, arms crossed, looking and feeling more serious than I’ve been in quite a while. “But if we really want this, if we really want to play at the Parc des Princes and the Stade Louis II next season and test ourselves against the best in the country, we can. We can bloody do it by beating these and going top. We’ve got the goal difference for it, but we need to put down a marker and it needs to be now. Not next week, not next month and not in the bloody run in. Now.”

134 1 2 preview.png

The lads seem riled after my little speech. They look ready. I’m taking a risk today in keeping the attacking variant of Project: Meatloaf that saw us beat Granville so handily in place. It could backfire, but I’m willing to take the chance. If we can put down a marker today it’ll put us in great stead for the second half of the season. The team today is the exact same one that beat our reserves 5-1 last week: Lenogue in net with my settled back 4 of Samba, Captiste, Doucouré and Hikem in front of him, Sissako and Raf in midfield, with Foden, Joël and Zoun behind Hicham Aidir. To be fair, Florian Ayé is unlucky to be pushed out after his brace in the cup, but there’s no doubt in my mind that Hicham’s still our number 1 striker.

134 1 3 formations.png

It takes less than 2 minutes for the first Ligue 2 goal of 2022 to be scored. Phil Foden, fresh from pulling the strings in the French Cup 9th round, chests the ball down and turns inside from the right. He slides a pass into the path of Aidir, who turns and places the ball into the far bottom corner. 2 minutes in and we’re top of the bloody league. I’ve turned up to the showdown and drawn my gun first. And my gun’s called Hicham fucking Aidir.

10 minutes later the fans leap to their feet as Aidir drives forwards on the ball. He shrugs off Girod’s challenge and leaps over Kabeya’s slide tackle, dribbling onto the left wing before wrapping his foot around the ball and fizzing in a cross. Foden arrives in the box and shoots – Straight against the legs of centre back Bodin, but the ball takes a deflection and bounces perfectly into the bottom corner. Foden won’t get to claim the goal but frankly I don’t really care. 2-0 to l’AJA.

Miraculously our recklessly attacking mentality has caught Bourg-en-Bresse off guard and they’re crumbling. We win the ball straight from kick off and give it to Zoun, who flies down the left, cuts inside and shoots from 20 yards, but Fabri manages to catch it and keep the scoreline from getting embarrassing… For 10 minutes at least, because when Samba’s long ball forwards is nodded on by Joël, Hicham touches the ball past Bodin masterfully, leaving him free to poke it past Fabri and into the bottom corner for 3-0.

It’s clear to everyone in the stadium that Hicham smells blood in the water. Just 25 minutes in he’s on a hat trick and wants to complete it, but he mishits his next effort from 20 yards, skewing it well wide. After the half hour mark though he’s still trying hard to bag his 3rd. He presses poor Bodin and wins the ball before dribbling onto the left wing once more. Aidir crosses from the byline and Bodin heads clear, but the centre back’s first win of the day is stripped from him as Foden’s shoved to the ground by Lamanje. We have a penalty and there’s no prizes for guessing who’ll take it. Aidir steps up and places the ball right into the bottom left corner, sending Fabri the wrong way, completing his hat trick and putting us 4-0 up against the former league leaders.

A lesser man would probably call it there, happy with his day’s work, but not the big Moroccan. When Zoun cuts in and slips a pass through to him just inside the box, he shoots with venom but can only send the Ball crashing against the post.

My half time team talk is far less prepared than my pre-match one. I wasn’t really prepared for the eventuality of a 4-0 lead at the break to be honest. Nevertheless I tell the lads they’re performing fantastically and not to let their levels drop.

The hour mark brings about our first black mark of the day, when Raf, already on a booking, trips Tasic and receives his marching orders. Eager not to let the match fall apart, I bring off the attack minded Foden and Joël and replace them with Ba and Fomba, who will slot into a more reserved and standard 4-4-1. We’ll retain possession with our 2 banks of 4 and try to kill the match off.

For the next 20 minutes the plan works perfectly. Neither team threatens to change the scoreline until the 80th minute, when Aidir dribbles into the box from the right wing but shoots tamely into the arms of Fabri. 2 minutes later Bourg very sportingly level the playing field and get themselves reduced to 10 men when Lamanje, already on a booking, trips Fomba needlessly. The last chance of the match is ours too. It’s a long Samba ball over the top that Aidir latches onto before running through on goal. This time he hits it with his laces but Fabri does well to tip it around the post. The match finishes 4-0.

134 1 4 post.png

134 2 5 pre match.png

The Team of the Week fittingly contains 4 Auxerre players and 0 from Bourg-en-Bresse. Issa Samba, Captiste, Phil Foden and Hicham Aidir all make the cut for their contributions to an excellent football match.

134 2 1 totw.png

I’m still in a fair amount of shock when Ruben Aguilar comes to me saying that he’s no longer willing to wait for Issa’s form to drop off before he gets his place in the starting lineup back. I don’t really blame him as Issa’s showing no signs of slowing down, but luckily Captiste is on hand to talk Ruben down. He’s very much an unsung hero of our rise to the top this season, Captiste, but he’s a fantastic captain.

134 2 2 aguilar unh

134 2 3 aguilar fine

With Auxerre and Bourg now level on points, we begin the battle to outdo each other in an attempt to get a bit of a cushion at the top. Our next match is away at Stade de Reims, who are not a side to be taken lightly, while Bourg take on ESTAC Troyes. Stade de Reims share a fantastic defensive record with us with both teams having only conceded 15 goals so far in Ligue 2. We’re second only to Red Star, who’ve let in 13. We do have a better attacking record than our opponents and indeed the entire league though as we lead the scoring charts with 34 goals scored, but Stade de Reims are only 5 goals and 4 points behind us.

134 2 6 preview.png

Raf won’t make the team today as he’s suspended for that red card. Sissako’s out too after reaching 3 yellow cards in his last 10 games, so we’re without our first choice midfield. That, combined with the fact that Reims have won every home match since August has me slightly concerned. We’ll ditch the attacking Project: Meatloaf and opt instead for a counter attacking Project: Meatloaf Mk II, with the incoming holding man Loïc Goujon adding extra protection while we focus our play up the wings. Lamine Fomba comes in alongside Joël in the middle.

134 2 7 formations.png

With both teams starting off with variations on 4-1-4-1, the match is predictably slow to get going. We do have a decent chance when Zoun runs the ball into the opposition half 4 minutes in and finds Aidir, but after running for the box and shooting with his weaker foot, our striker can only watch as the ball flies wide.

With half time just a couple of minutes away we give away a free kick 25 yards from goal. Gustavo Hebling steps up for the hosts and fires an absolute rocket towards the top corner. Luckily the ball smacks off the bar and Aidir manages to hoof it clear before Mafuala is able to take advantage of the now open goal.

Neither side changes at half time. The first half was very evenly balanced and I don’t want to rock the boat. I can only imagine my opposite number is thinking the same. A couple of minutes after the restart we go agonisingly close when Zoun, who’s looked impressive in his new role on the left so far, cuts inside and shoots from the edge of the box, but can only hit the post.

With 20 minutes to go a Lopez corner is cushioned down by Weber and headed at goal by Iloki on the penalty spot, but Lenogue saves well. We’re down the other end 10 minutes later with Zoun again, but this time when he cuts in and shoots from 20 yards he sends the ball skimming just wide of the far post. I go the whole match without making a single tactical change and the boat stays un-rocked. 0-0 it ends.

134 2 8 post.png

Not that surprising when you think about it, is it? A 0-0 played out between the teams with the joint second best defences in the league. I’ll certainly take it though. Stade de Reims, as I said before, are not to be taken lightly. They’ve been in Ligue 1 for the last 4 years and have some quality players. Going back to good defences actually, Xavier Lenogue, last season’s back up goalie, is on 12 clean sheets for the season. That’s just 1 behind Zacharie Boucher’s record set in 2017/18. Good lad, Xavier. Although that defence does it’s part too. My back 5 pretty much picks itself nowadays, they’re all so solid.

134 2 4 lenogue nears record.png

Annoyingly though, our title rivals did win today and so they retake the top spot. This isn’t over though. There’s plenty of football yet to be played and if last week’s any indicator, we’ll be playing far better football than fucking Bourg-en-Bresse.

134 3 1 league.png

Episode 135 >

A Cat-less Christmas (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep133)

Let’s get the second half of the season started off right, shall we?

< Mini-sode 132.5.5.5

6AM, day after Christmas. I throw some clothes on in the dark. It’s been about a week since I last saw Sylvania and since I last saw Meatloaf and Burnie. I searched my flat from top to bottom that night but eventually accepted the conclusion that the 2 cats had slipped through the open door and disappeared into the night. After the locksmith came to put 3 brand new and incredibly sturdy types of lock on my front door I installed a cat flap too, in the hopes that they’d reappear. They haven’t though. They’ve not even returned in my dreams. I’ve been cutting a lonely figure at the top of the Tribune Leclerc stand.

I wasn’t really in the mood for Christmas to be honest. I got a couple of texts from members of the Auxerre team but that was about the extent of my Christmas day. I was even less in the mood for certain French tabloids that were linking me to the Caen job, who are the latest club struggling in Ligue 1. I made my intentions to stay perfectly clear.

Screen Shot 2018-04-15 at 15.41.23

133 2 auxerre happy.png

But today is Boxing day and in order to keep the squad sharp for our cup match against Granville next week, I’ve lined up a friendly against our B team. Now that our players are starting to come back from an extremely injury hit first half of the season, it’s an interesting opportunity for the fringe players to show me what they’ve got. They seem extremely determined to make the most of it too when a Florian Ayé goal and a Zoun double put the reserves 0-3 up after 33 minutes. We fight back though with goals from Joël and Phil Foden before the break and Hicham Aidir equalises in the second half. With 35 minutes to play I expect us to complete the turnaround, but a late Abdoulaye Sissako strike wins it for the reserves. It’s an interesting match and I’m certainly impressed with what I’ve seen from some of the winning side.

133 3 u19 post.png

133 14 pre match.png

Another undesired opportunity presents itself a couple of days later when I’m linked with the vacant Stade de Reims job. To be honest though I feel like even though they were recently a Ligue 1 team, I’d be taking a step down by joining them. I publicly deny that there’s any truth in the rumours, which makes the board so happy that they offer me a year’s contract extension. I sign happily. This is the offer I wanted.

There’s a little bit of transfer activity before the Granville game: Zoun’s wanted by FC Lorient in the top tier and they put down a £1.5M bid, but I reject it. I’m still waiting for him to impress me but I know that there’s still a lot more to come from our pacy Burkinabe winger. I do accept a loan bid from Belgian Pro League side Cercle Brugge for Nathan Andre though. The young striker was unlucky in slipping a disc and being ruled out through a time when I would have gladly given him an extended run in the first team, but now that Aidir’s remembered where the goal is and Ayé’s back from his injury, I think Nathan’s development will be boosted by a spell in Belgium’s top flight.

133 13 zoun bid

133 24 andre bid

And so it’s time for the French Cup 9th round: A glamourous away tie against French CFA 2 side US Granville.

133 15 preview.png

I want not only a win today but a good performance to boot. We’re going with a fluid attacking variant of Project: Meatloaf. The lads that were suspended for our last match are back and Hikem’s back from injury too. We are missing Raf, who’s suspended and Tower, who’s picked up a virus though. Kamara gets a rare start in net and will be protected by a back 4 of Samba, Captiste, Doucouré and Hikem. Sissako and Goujon form a battling midfield and we’ll have Joël behind lone striker Florian Ayé, with Foden cutting in from the right and Zoun doing likewise from the left. I’m pretty interested to see how our in-demand winger takes to the position having never played there professionally.

133 16 formations.png

We get off to a great start when little Phil Foden curls a close range free kick in over the wall only 8 minutes into the match. 13 minutes later he plays a part in our second too, taking an indirect free kick short to Joël, who plays a defence-splitting pass through to Ayé in the box. Ayé takes a shot first time on his weaker foot and finds the back of the net to double our lead.

10 minutes from the break Florian nearly bags his second after another fantastic ball from Joël gets him in behind the defence. He jinks past a challenge but drags his shot just wide of the far post.

With the match looking pretty much done with half an hour left I hook 2 of our booked players, Samba and Goujon, and bring on Aguilar and Fomba. A few minutes later Ayé gets his head to a Kamara goal kick and nods the ball on for Foden, who runs through to the edge of the area and shoots. The ball hits the post, comes back, hits the goalkeeper on the back of the head and bounces out for a corner. It’s a decent chance but the resulting corner comes to nothing.

With 5 minutes left Auxerre put together a great passing move and Foden plays a through ball into the box for Ayé, who drills it into the net to make it 3-0. It’s a one sided game all round and I’m pleased with the performance and the result.

133 17 post.png

133 18 cup win.png

The French Cup 10th round draw pits us against Bordeaux, which is an extremely exciting prospect. A high profile match against a big Ligue 1 club is just what I was hoping for.

133 19 cup draw.png

The next week or so is heavy with minor transfer activity. Fabien Fonrose is a player that I thought I might use as a backup centre back this season but I’m not sure he’s set foot on the pitch yet. He’s allowed to move on loan to Strasbourg.

133 29 fonrose moves.png

There are also loan moves for young striker Abdoulaye Traoré, who joins French National side SO Romorantin, as well as Daniel Garza and Paul Mullan, 2 youngsters who I don’t think are longed for the Auxerre first team. They travel back to their native North America on loan with Ottawa and Phoenix respectively.

Corentin Tirard, the forgotten man to some extent after his standout performances in last year’s appalling Auxerre side, is unhappy with his recent lack of first team football. I sit him down and tell him that Adama Ba’s playing too well on the left wing, which is a bit of a stretch to be fair, but Corentin seems satisfied with my explanation. I’m fairly sure I’ll be letting him go in the Summer anyway.

133 22 tirard unh.png

I set up another friendly against the reserves to see what we’ve learned from our new attacking variant. Aidir, Raf and Lenogue come into the first team as we tear our second string apart. Zoun gets us off to a flyer and then after Florian Ayé equalises, Hicham and Foden both score quick fire braces to give us a glossy 5-1 win.

133 27 res post.png

Romain Montiel is then ruled out for 7-9 weeks with shin splints. I’m a bit gutted for him but again, he’s not getting anywhere near my first team unless we have another injury crisis so we should be OK.

133 33 montiel inj

A couple of players that won’t be leaving right now are Ruben Aguilar, who we receive 3 bids of around £1.5M for from Eibar, Alavés and Atlético Pamplona, and Godspower Tower. True, Aguilar hasn’t been a regular starter since the unbelievable and unpredictable rise of Issa Samba, but if I’m going to let Ruben go it’ll be for a substantially higher price.

Godspower does want to leave as he’s also not featured as much as he’d like. The only offers we’ve received though are a non-negotiable £325k bid from Freamunde, which isn’t enough, and a loan offer from Clermont Foot, but they only want him as back up and that’s only going to decrease his value in the long run. I’m holding out for a higher fee or a loan with a promise of more regular football before I let our towering centre back go.

Bourg-en-Bresse are our next opponents in a 1st v 2nd title showdown. It’s unfortunate for the league leaders that they’re our first opponents in Ligue 2 since my own personal diabolical Christmas period, because I’ve got a lot of frustration to take out on them. I’ve not seen my cats in weeks and a win over Bourg-en-Bresse would be extremely therapeutic for me. Let’s get the second half of the season started off right, shall we?

133 36 league build up.png

Episode 134 >

Tribune Leclerc – Part 2 (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Mini-sode 132.5.5.5)

What the fuck are you doing in my dream?

< Meta-sode 132.5.5

I’m sitting in the Tribune Leclerc stand in Stade Abbé-Deschamps. Right at the back of the balcony against the back wall. Burnie’s still curled up on the seat to my right, just a black furry mass, fast asleep. Meatloaf and I have spent a while talking. In all fairness our discussions on tactical shapes and styles haven’t been very enlightening at all as he’s merely a feline figment of my imagination outfitted in full victorian garb, but I’ve been glad of the company. I come here most nights and it can be a quiet and peaceful place, but a lonely one too. Still, after a while we run out of things to talk about.

“…And the penguin says: ‘He’s not an eggplant, he’s retarded!’”

“I don’t get it” says Meatloaf, raising one of the markings on his head that resemble eyebrows.

“No, me neither”, I reply dejectedly. “I thought you might. I heard it on…” My voice trails off as I watch Meatloaf’s eyes start to wander away from mine. He seems to be looking right over my shoulder.

“I have to go, old friend. I’m sorry.” He whispers, suddenly quite panicked. He dons his top hat, stands and hurries away down the aisle, glancing back occasionally.

“What?” I call after him. “Why? What are you…” I turn my head in an attempt to see what spooked the poor moggie and my voice trails away once again. At first it seems as if Burnie has woken up and is looking at me from the adjoining seat with a wide smile. I’ve not seen the 6 foot dream-version of him before but the features check out: Thick black fur, white belly, inexplicable victorian garb, but there’s something not quite right about the way this cat’s looking at me. There’s something familiar about that smile.

“You are doing the finest job, Franjo!” It whispers excitedly. Realisation hits me immediately.

“What the fuck are you doing in my dream, Sylvania?” I growl.

The black cat giggles. “Oh, but you are confused!” She says. “Here!” Before I can respond the cat raises a paw behind it’s head and slaps me hard across the face, leaving my cheek stinging.

I sit bolt upright in bed, my cheek still stinging as my eyes dart around uselessly in the inky black bedroom. I lean over to the bedside table and press my phone’s home button, which illuminates the room with all the subtlety and finesse of a flash bang grenade. I recoil from the light but once my eyes start to adjust I note from the lock screen that it’s 3:30 in the morning. It’s 3:30 in the morning and it’s freezing fucking cold in here. Too cold. As the light of my phone dies away I pull the quilt tighter around myself and survey the room, now able to make out basic shadows.

“There, that’s better!” Squeals one of them.

“Yeah that’s much better actually, thank you.” I reply, keeping my voice as level as I can. “So let me rephrase: What the fuck are you doing in my flat, Sylvania?”

“Our promotion bonus!” She squeals once more, and with that she darts towards the bed and smiles that sickly Cheshire Cat smile. “You are doing the finest job in France, Franjo. We need to discuss our bonus for your inevitable promotion to Ligue 1: Home of the finest football teams in the World!”

“And you thought that inside my flat at half past fucking 3 was the ideal time and place to conduct this meeting, did you?”

She nods vigourously. “I could not sleep, Monsieur Franjo! I was far too excited…”

“CORRECT!” I cut her off loudly, causing Sylvania to jump. “There’s a good way to tell if you’re far too excited about something, Sylvania, and that’s if you’re so excited that you keep breaking into my fucking home.” I swing my legs out of bed and stand up, revealing my Everton branded pyjamas. I watch the corner of Sylvania’s mouth flicker as she sees them, but her expression turns back to shock within a split second. “Now you need to leave.” I say firmly. As my eyes continue to adjust to the darkness I glance through the open bedroom door and notice that the front door of my flat is ajar. “And how do you keep getting in here for fucks sake? After last time the locksmith promised me…” My voice trails away once more as I continue to look around and make another realisation. One that makes my heart drop right through my stomach. “…And where are Meatloaf and Burnie? Where are my fucking cats?”

Episode 133 >

…And We’re Back (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Meta-sode 132.5.5)

The winter break wasn’t supposed to last that long…

< Meta-sode 132.5

Afternoon!

So apologies first of all for my prolonged break from the story. Long story short the last 5 weeks have consisted of me staying with a couple of mates while I’ve gone through a break up, looked for a place to live, spent my days at work and my evenings at viewings, actually moved etc. So I’ve not had a lot of time and to be honest I’ve just not been in the mood.

BUT starting Wednesday (18th April) I’m back and we’ll be picking the story back up for the second half of the 2021/22 season, fresh from our narrow triumph over managerial newbie Zlatan Ibrahimovic. I’m still a little bit smug about that.

See you then!

Cheers,

Franjo

Edit: And also WordPress has just informed me that this is my 200th post, which… Fucking hell!

Winter Break (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Meta-sode 132.5)

Sorry guys, that time’s come again!

Edit 2: I’m still coming back, but not just yet. Feel free to have a read of my new short story though: Keep On Spinning

Edit 1: Sorry lads, the busy week I mentioned turned into an insanely shitty week and I’ll be on hiatus for another week or 2 as a result of it. Make no mistake though I’ll be back 🙂

< Episode 132

Sorry guys, that time’s come again!

It’s a busy week for me and I’ve had to rush even to finish today’s episode on time, so I’m going to take the week before I come back with the Winter break episode. We’re bloody 2nd. (2nd!!) in the league and we’ve got just less than half a season left to make sure we stay there, so it should be an interesting 5 months when I return!

Thanks once again for reading and for all the feedback, I appreciate every message, email and comment I get about this story massively. Anyone wanting to email can get me at franjofm23@gmail.com!

Anyway yeah… Bit weird to start a break on a Wednesday but let’s give it a go. I’ll be back on Wednesday 13th of March. See you then!

Cheers,

Franjo

Meta-sode 132.5.5 >

The Swedish Behemoth and The Man on Fire (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep132)

I’ve got to say I’m more than a little bit surprised.

< Episode 131

Faouzi Hikem’s really starting to grow on me, you know. When I came in he was overhyped maybe a little too much, leaving me underwhelmed with what I saw in person. Like Avatar. I watched closely and beneath the obvious positives I saw the flaws in his execution. A lot like Avatar. When you think about it, Avatar just wasn’t that good a film. Faouzi’s had a pretty good start to the season though and has had a good November in particular, which sees him scoop 3rd place in the Ligue 2 Player of the Month award, with the winner and runner up both having had fantastic months for Angers.

132 1 2 potm.png

With the winter break mere weeks away it’s time to play our French Cup 8th round tie against our rivals ESTAC Troyes, a side that I’ve enjoyed playing against very much in my Auxerre career so far. The match at the Stade de l’Aube also happens to be my 200th in football. Where does the time go, eh? The local media are trying to hype it up a bit but to be honest it’s just another match for me. The French Cup represents our last chance of having a good cup run this season and I want a professional performance to see off our pesky neighbours.

132 1 4 cup build up.png

132 1 3 200 games

Troyes recently booted their manager Benoît Cheyrou after their not so stellar run of games left them languishing near the bottom of the table. In his place I’ll line up today against former Le Havre stalwart Thierry Uvenard, who’s taking control of the first team until a new manager is appointed.

132 1 6 preview

Thierry’s got his own ideas about how the team should be playing and will set up with a novel narrow 4-1-2-2-1 formation against us today. In response I’m going to be mixing things up a bit myself. We’ll go with a narrow variant on Project: Burnie Mk III, but instead of a flat back 3 I’ll be pushing one of the centre backs forward into the base of midfield, giving us a sturdy 2-1-2 in the centre to take care of the potential threat of those 2 attacking midfielders. I want us bombing up the flanks through our wing backs as it’s where the home side will be most exposed. The full team is Lenogue in net, Captiste and Doucouré at the back, Samba, Raf and Hikem in front of them, Fomba and Goujon in the centre of midfield and we’ll have Joël behind the 2 strikers. Except we don’t exactly… Have 2 strikers, do we? We have 1 out of form target man and 3 injured back ups. Still, this seems as good a time as any to go with a front 2 as maybe it’ll help Aidir out to have someone up there with him, so I’m dead set on the idea. After careful deliberation I decide to throw Abdoulaye Sissako up top. I mean, yes he’s a midfielder, yes he’s never played a game as a striker in his life, but he is a hard worker and a good physical presence. All I want him to do is close down the defenders and play in Hicham, so he’s only really an elevated ball winning midfielder.

132 1 7 formations.png

20 minutes in we’re handed a gift wrapped chance when a bad back pass from Martial leaves Sissako one on one with Troyes’ keeper. He steps around Bernardoni and tries to clip the ball in from a narrow angle, but he can only hit the outside of the post. I think that’s probably a good indicator of how this little experiment’s going to turn out, isn’t it.

We are at least dominating the first half though and as the half hour mark edges closer we put together a patient passing move that ends up back with Captiste on the half way line. He brings the ball forwards in acres of space before firing it over onto the right wing, where Samba’s waiting to nod it inside. Joël controls the ball well and brings it past the centre back, leaving him clear to drill it into the far bottom corner. Get in, Joël. 1-0.

In first half injury time Troyes get the ball in the back of the net themselves when an Azamoum corner comes into the mixer. Dingomé does his best Maradona impression and palms the ball skilfully into the net, but it won’t count. We’ve had the upper hand so far so I tell the Auxerre team at half time to close down the opposition more to force mistakes and really make our domination count.

With nearly a quarter of an hour of the second half gone we’re playing some really nice football. Goujon passes to Joël 25 yards out and he pauses on the ball just for a beat to draw the defensive midfielder out of position. Then he slips the ball through the central channel for Hicham Aidir, who places it first time into the bottom corner. I’ve never done the robot before believe it or not, but when the ball hits the back of the net and Aidir sprints away with a broad smile of relief across his face, me and Crouchie… Well… We have a bit of a dance.

With our 2 goal cushion nicely in place I give Lamine Fomba a rest for the last half hour, with Gaizka Basauri coming on to replace him. We have a bit of a scare 10 minutes from time when Azamoum squares the ball for Niané on the edge of our 6 yard box, but he hits the post. Chassaing too makes a late cameo as we come through the match unscathed.

132 1 8 post

My 200th game in football has gone absolutely swimmingly, especially thanks to Hicham Aidir’s first goal in over 2 months. 8 long matches. It was a massive relief to see him tuck the ball away with that ice-cold precision I’ve become so accustomed to over the last 16 months. He’s timed it well as my experiment to try Sissako as a striker has not gone very well. He tried though, bless him.

132 2 1 goal drought

132 1 9 cup win

Our 3rd consecutive victory over ESTAC Troyes has also sealed us a place in the 9th round of the French Cup, where we’ll play Sportive Granvillaise, so sayeth the draw.

132 2 2 cup draw.png

132 2 4 pre match.png

Our next match is a biggie. Angers SCO are 3rd in Ligue 2 and on the same points as us, with a goal difference of 12 to our 14. With Bourg-en-Bresse 3 points ahead of both of us at the top of the table, this is a great opportunity for both sides to catch up to the league leaders as we come to the half way point of the season. Unfortunately we’ll be without Faouzi Hikem though as he’s strained his abdominal muscles in the gym and will miss both of our last 2 matches before the winter break. On the upside though, all signs are that strikers Florian Ayé, Nathan Andre and Romain Montiel are just days away from rejoining full training.

132 2 3 hikem inj

132 2 5 preview.png

Call me a boring sod but I’d be happy not to lose this game. Of course a win would be ideal but I’m not going to push too hard for it. We’ll line up with our standard, steady Project: Meatloaf Mk II with Phil Foden and Adama Ba coming back in for Loïc Goujon and Abdoulaye Sissako as we get our inside forwards back onto the wings. Mike Kakuba will come in for Hikem and I’ll once again be looking to Mamadou Doucouré to fill in at left back. With full training looming and after half a season on the sidelines with ligament damage, last year’s top scorer Florian Ayé makes the bench for the first time.

132 2 6 formations.png

Much of the match is a tense, scrappy affair. In fact in the first hour the only decent chance from either side is 25 minutes in when former Sunderland stopper Mika catches the ball from a Samba cross and promptly rolls it straight out to Phil Foden. The Stopfordian midfielder tries his luck from 25 yards but hits his shot straight against a defender’s legs. Gripping stuff.

Despite our efforts to control the game in the second half to put the visitors under a little pressure, we’re still goalless with 20 minutes to go. I have a choice: I can keep us as we are and drift through to the goalless draw that I would have taken before kick off, or I can roll the dice and try and nick a winner. Against my better judgement I signal for Florian Ayé to warm up. We’re going for it. Joël comes off and Florian finally steps onto the pitch to start his season, alongside Hicham Aidir in a 4-2-4 formation. We’ll exploit the wings, float crosses into our 2 big strikers and play direct to them. Come on lads.

Sometimes everything just comes together exactly like you hoped it would. Sometimes you roll the dice and come up with 2 sixes. This isn’t one of those times. 3 minutes after our tactical change, Trincão holds the ball up 25 yards out and draws out Captiste. Just for a second, our defence falls asleep and that’s all the time Josué needs to slip between Raf and Kakuba and dart into the space that our Captain’s left inside the box. The former Porto and Basel midfielder takes a touch and fires the ball low into the far corner. It’s 0-1.

I let out a groan. I’ve done this. Me and my greed. We could have escaped with a very good point but now we’re behind and in danger of falling behind the top 2. We go on the attack. A couple of minutes later Angers hit us on the counter attack and Trincão gets to the left byline before drilling a cross in to the near post. Pépé arrives but can only head the ball into the side netting. It’s a very close call.

We can’t lose our heads. I tell the lads to start closing down like they’ve never closed down before. I don’t want Angers to get a sniff of this ball for the rest of the match. 75 minutes turns to 80, then 85, then 90. And then Phil Foden plays a clever pass to Ayé on the edge of the box, who plays it through to Aidir, who slams the ball into the back of the fucking net from 12 yards. He’s back. He’s officially bloody back.

132 2 7 post.png

That was far too close a call and honestly I’ve got my players to thank for getting us out of that mess. I went into the match wanting a draw and either cockiness or boredom got the better of me. Note to self – Try not to scare me like that again.

132 3 5 pre match.png

So with 19 games played we’re officially half way through the season. Bourg-en-Bresse are still leading the way with 39 points after helpfully only getting a draw themselves in the last round of fixtures, while Auxerre and Angers are still 3 points behind, both with superior goal difference to the leaders. Stade de Reims still have to be kept an eye on though as they’re only 1 point behind us. We’ve still got 1 match left before the Winter break and as such can still technically go into the new year at the top of the table. We’re playing Valenciennes away.

132 3 6 preview.png

Mike Kakuba and Lamine Fomba will miss this one through suspension after picking up the usual 3 yellows in their last 10 games, but Andre and Mounier are back in full training as I’m suddenly spoilt for choice for strikers. Well not quite as 3 of them are still massively lacking in fitness, but it still makes a nice change. I’m also ambushed in the corridor by my mountainous centre back Godspower Tower, who thinks that his name deserves to be on the teamsheet more often. Whilst I agree in principle that his name should be shared far and wide and maybe put up in lights somewhere, he’s just not going to get a look in for me. We agree that he’ll be sold in the January transfer window.

132 3 1 tower unh.png

“Franjo are you confident for tomorrow?” Pipes up the first journalist at my press conference.

“Yeah, I don’t see any reason why we shouldn’t be confident. We’re in good form and if we play like we have been doing Valenciennes will have trouble stopping us.”

“Do you think that it’s good timing, playing Valenciennes after they’ve sacked their manager Laurent Dufresne?”

“Perhaps. Obviously things haven’t been going well for them but I think we need to expect a reaction. I’m sure the Valenciennes players will want to impress any prospective new managers that are…” I’m silenced by Manon Penot, Auxerre’s Press officer, holding one hand out across my mouth while the other holds her mobile to her ear. We sit in silence for a moment. “Are we live?” I mouth to one of the cameramen. He nods, looking as confused as I feel. Manon nods in acknowledgement of her phone and leans right in to my ear.

“They’ve signed Zlatan.” She whispers.

“Excuse me?” I mutter back.

“Valenciennes have appointed Zlatan Ibrahimovic as their new manager” she says, quite breathlessly. I look across the room of journalists, all of whom are looking down at phones, tablets and laptops and muttering to each other.

“He’s not a manager”, I hiss.

“He is now” she whispers back, “And you’re his first opponent.”

I’ve got to say I’m more than a little bit surprised. Zlatan Ibrahimovic has completely dropped off the planet since he left Manchester United and retired in the Summer of 2018. Well, apart from the odd bit of guest punditry for BT Sport. His appointment’s knocked me for 6 if I’m honest. I mean, I’m taking on Zlatan in his first ever match as a football manager. How do you approach something like that? What the bloody hell am I meant to expect? I had planned on lining up against Valenciennes’ 4-4-2, which was about as predictable as the pissing sunrise, with Project: Burnie Mk III: My go-to formation against such shapes. Now I’m second guessing myself with the new man coming in. Ordinarily I’d say that a smart Manager would just keep his side playing the same shape until he’s had a bit of time to figure out what he needs to change, but knowing Zlatan he could just as easily drop some kind of horrifically unpredictable tactical bomb on us that’s been 3 and a half years in the making and is powered by sheer self-confidence, charisma and 35 yard fucking bicycle kicks.

In the end I stick with the plan and it’s a good job too. Zlatan does stick with the same 4-4-2 system that his predecessor used, so my first sigh of relief of the day is when I see the team sheet. For us, Lenogue starts in net, Captiste, Goujon and Doucouré form the back 3 with Goujon charging out both to break up attacks and to play the ball, Issa Samba and Ruben Aguilar are our wing backs, with Ruben starting on the left because Hikem’s out injured and is still faster than our backup left back Mombris, so why the hell not. Sissako and Raf form the midfield duo and Joël plays behind Aidir and Ayé, who gets his first start of the season. I’m taking a bit of a gamble on him as he’s still short of fitness, but he could also make all the difference. Captiste will tightly man mark Zlatan’s inherited target man Jordan Siebatcheu while Doucouré will mark out his more rounded team mate Nuno Da Costa, and we’ll play a fluid counter attacking game. Nathan Andre’s back on the bench.

Out on the touchline, I shake hands with Zlatan. It’s an odd moment, seeing his moustachioed face smiling down at me in the flesh. Once upon a time, when I was not too much more experienced than he is now, I used to have nightmares that this Swedish Behemoth was punching me in the face, ridiculing me for my inexperience in management and subsequent failure to keep my team afloat. Oh, how the tables have turned. The boot’s really on the other foot now, isn’t it Zlatan? Watch and learn young rookie as I give you your first lesson in Football Management.

132 3 7 formations.png

After only a minute the hosts win a corner, but we clear the ball after a poor cross and start a counter attack through Joël, who plays it forward for Aidir. Aidir drives forwards, drawing a centre back over to the left before pulling the ball back into the space inside the box, but Joël calmly places the ball straight at the keeper from 6 yards out, who saves it. Sissako is the first to get to the rebound and tries to finish it from a narrow angle, but Cabezas slides in well to knock the ball against the post and out.

A quarter of an hour later we’re playing some nice patient football in Valenciennes’ half initiated by Joël and Aidir. We massively outnumber them in the centre and it’s showing as we pull them from side to side with our short passes and good movement. Eventually Sissako slides the ball perfectly through the defence and who else but Hicham Aidir chips the ball first time past the keeper. That’s 3 goals in 3 games for Hicham now. He’s gone from absolutely useless right back to a man on fire.

A couple of minutes later we counter attack once again and once again it starts with some nice interplay by Joël and Aidir. We toy with the Valenciennes midfield and defence before Sissako finds Aidir again on the edge of their box. Aidir darts towards the left hand side of the box with the ball and loses his marker, but drags his shot wide. 10 minutes after that we counter attack for the umpteenth time and again Sissako threads the ball through for Hicham Aidir, who’s having an excellent time linking up with the midfielders so far. Aidir takes a touch into the box but Kocik dashes out and catches what turns out to be a tame shot from the Moroccan.

Frustrated by 40 minutes of chasing the ball and tracking back to get back into position after yet another of his side’s moves breaks down, central midfielder Abdoul Kaboré sees red before half time for tripping Sissako while he’s already on a booking. That can only be good for us in the second half.

The first 20 minutes of the second half are quiet, and then Zlatan makes the change to a narrow 4-3-2. I don’t want us to get overpowered in the centre so I bring off Florian Ayé, whose done his fitness the world of good with 65 minutes of football, and replace him with Foden, who drops into midfield to match Valenciennes’ trio. We’ll focus down the flanks where they’re now vulnerable and I tell Captiste to stay on his toes and keep his distance from his marker, because the lumbering and ineffective target man Siebatcheu has been replaced by pure speed machine Terry Osei-Berkoe.

As I said in our previous match, sometimes everything just comes together exactly like you hoped it would. Sometimes you roll the dice and come up with 2 sixes. As I also said in our previous match, this isn’t one of those times. For fucks sake. Just 3 minutes after both sides make their tactical changes, Valenciennes work the ball into the box with Da Costa and he’s felled by stand-in centre back Loïc Goujon. Penalty. Goujon receives a booking and in front of the home fans, Da Costa blasts the ball straight down the middle from 12 yards to equalise.

In my eyes that equaliser is absolutely undeserved and I’m quite livid. I tell Phil Foden to push forwards alongside Joël for the last 20 minutes. We’ll roam from our positions and we’ll pass the ball into space to try to unlock the home side’s tiring defence. With 5 minutes to go it very nearly pays off – Aidir holds the ball up after we counter from a Valenciennes corner and then slips the ball into space for Joël, who’s bombing forward to his right. Joël gets into the area and if he lifts his head he’ll see Sissako and Aidir rushing forwards alongside him with absolutely nobody between them and the goal. He keeps his head down and fires a shot wide of the near post. Livid. We go on the attack.

With 90 seconds to play of normal time we win a free kick 35 yards out from goal. Foden plays it short and we work the ball around the box. Joël… Aguilar… To Goujon… Back to Aguilar… AGUILAR!!!

I feel no shame as I sprint down the touchline, hands held aloft. To some it would seem like quite the faux pas to openly celebrate defeating somebody at something you’ve done 201 times more than they have, especially when it’s their first time. In the moment though I couldn’t care less. There have been times this season where we’ve missed that winning mentality. Where we’ve rolled over and accepted our fates. Not today though. Today the ball fell to our usurped right back, filling in as a makeshift left wing back. Today he was left unmarked just inside the box and had a clear shot at goal. Today he gave me the kind of headache that I love. The kind of headache that you get when you have too many fantastic players to fit into your team.

Here’s your lesson, Zlatan: Some days you can do exactly what you need to do. You can even fight back with 10 men, but don’t be surprised if the referee’s whistle blows and you’re left crying in the corner, miserably contemplating the unfairness of life as you watch somebody else have the time of their lives at your expense. You’ll get used to it pretty quickly.

132 3 8 post

132 4 1 league.png

Meta-sode 132.5 >

Hicham’s Hurdle (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep131)

You do come through it eventually. Unless you’re Nikica Jelavić.

< Episode 130

“I wouldn’t worry about it, Hicham,” I reassure him, handing the striker a cup of tea and taking my own round to the other side of my desk. “Every striker goes through a bit of a quiet spell. And every winger, midfielder, defender, keeper… Everyone has rough patches. Did I ever tell you about a certain 3 months of my spell in Katowice?”

“I think so”, he replies, blowing on his tea to cool it down, “No wins?”

“Not a one. It’s frustrating but you do come through it eventually. Unless you’re Nikica Jelavić. Nikica Jelavić is the only one I can think of who never came through it.” I grin at Hicham, who chuckles quietly before taking a sip of his tea. “I just wanted to have a chat and make sure you’re not beating yourself up over it, that’s all.”

Hicham nods. “It is frustrating but I’ll come through it. Thanks boss.”

131 1 3 preview.png

I don’t worry about Hicham Aidir. I know full well that he’ll be banging them in again soon as long as he backs himself. For the time being though I’m going to give him a bit of a different role for our next match against RC Strasbourg. Strasbourg are down in the relegation zone after a difficult first half of the season in which they were projected to finish in lower midtable. We’ll be starting with a standard Project: Meatloaf with Lenogue in net, Samba, Captiste, Doucouré and Hikem across the back, Fomba and Raf in midfield and Foden, Joël and Ba behind Aidir. Seeing as Aidir’s not scored and frankly hasn’t played at all well in 6 games now, he’ll play as a target man today. If he isn’t scoring we can at least get him involved and use his physical presence to hold the ball up so that he can play in his team mates. We’ll need to get plenty of bodies around him as Strasbourg play with an intriguing 3-2-3-2 featuring a sweeper, so if anything they have too many players in defence.

131 1 4 formations.png

Their 8 man defence doesn’t help them in the early stages. It takes 7 minutes for us to break Strasbourg’s resolve when Hikem’s outswinging corner is headed clear as far as Issa Samba. The right back takes the ball down well, steps into the box and clips it into the top corner. The early goal settles us down nicely and we dominate the first half hour with the visitors barely able to get a look in.

With 10 minutes to go before half time, Foden whips a cross in from the right and Ba arrives at the far post to get a header on goal, but Konaté heads it off the line. He does well but not well enough, as he realises when the ball bounces straight back to Ba and he volleys in our 2nd from close range. Less than 2 minutes later we go 3 up courtesy of a long Foden ball from a deep free kick that’s nodded on into the 6 yard box by Captiste and tucked home by the unmarked Faouzi Hikem. What a first half.

Strasbourg start the second half much better but don’t really manage any good chances. The next best chance is ours once again when Foden hits a free kick from 25 yards out, curling it against the bar. The ball’s cleared but we work it back up to the box where Foden gets back on it. He squares it for Joël, who puts his laces through the ball from the edge of the box, sending it fizzing into the bottom corner for 4-0. This is an absolute massacre. I give a run out to François for the last 20 minutes and we come away from the game with a resounding win.

131 1 5 post.png

While we were busy giving Strasbourg plenty of kick off practice, 3rd place Bourg-en-Bresse were defeating League leaders Angers SCO, which suits us perfectly as we were previously below Angers on goal difference and above Bourg on goal difference. That result lifts us back up to the top of the table, with Bourg-en-Bresse snapping at our heels just 7 goals behind. Angers actually slip down to 4th below Stade de Reims, who beat CS Sedan Ardennes to join the top 3 party. Seriously though, the top 4’s starting to break away from the rest and it’s getting pretty heated up here.

131 2 2 pre match.png

Unsurprisingly over half of that dominant Auxerre team make it into the Ligue 2 Team of the Week, including the entire back 4 of Samba, Captiste, Doucouré and Hikem, who are joined by Joël Soumahoro and Adama Ba. It’s actually a bit disappointing that Phil Foden isn’t thought to warrant a place as he had a great game, and although Hicham Aidir’s performance as a target man was much better than he’s turned in in a few weeks, there’s no room in the league’s elite side for him either.

131 2 1 totw.png

Next up is CS Sedan Ardennes at their place, fresh from the aforementioned defeat against Stade de Reims. Our form’s still a little bit hit and miss so another win today would be much appreciated. 3 wins in a row would represent some much needed consistency and momentum.

131 2 3 preview

We’ll be without last match’s first goalscorer Issa Samba as the booking he picked up against Strasbourg took him to 3 in his last 10, so Ruben Aguilar comes in. Other than that though we’re unchanged.

131 2 4 formations.png

It’s a scrappy start with both teams prodding and testing each other out in the opening stages. The first decent chance is Aldo Kalulu’s pot shot 25 yards out from our goal, but he puts it wide. 10 minutes later though Ardennes’ centre back Milan hoofs the ball into our box for Kalulu to chase and as he gets to the ball, he’s tripped by Captiste. The home side have a penalty. Kalulu steps up himself and powerfully converts the spot kick to the top left of Lenogue’s goal. 0-1.

We were undone by a long ball into a channel while our defence was pushed a bit too high, so we go on the counter and play a bit narrower after the goal, but at half time we’re still trailing. I try to give the lads some quiet confidence by telling them that they’ve been unlucky, but 15 seconds after the restart Kalulu tees up Konaté on the edge of our box, who drives the ball low at goal and forces a good save from Lenogue. That could’ve been game over.

10 minutes later we still aren’t getting a sniff apart from the odd pot shot. Faupala barges down the wing past Aguilar with power and whips a cross in from the left byline, which Bettoni meets at the far post, nodding the ball into the back of the net for 0-2. Bollocks. We go all out attack from that point on, pushing our defensive line further up, closing down more to try and win the ball back further up the pitch. None of it’s to any avail. I bring on Zoun for Foden on the right as an extra injection of pace, but still nothing.

With 25 minutes to go Kalulu plays a fantastic ball into the box for Bettoni. The winger’s 12 yards out and has the whole goal to aim at. He has to score – But he skies his shot. That’s the last real action of the match and the only positive to come out of this game is that it finishes 0-2 and not 0-3, because it really should be.

131 2 5 post

I feel like I’m digging a hole on the beach while the tide’s coming in. At times it seems like a perfectly good hole but then a wave comes along, fills it half back up with sand and I’m just left to shrug my shoulders and start digging again. It’s quite infuriating that we can’t put a run of results together. Don’t get me wrong, that loss leaves us in 2nd place in the league and that still absolutely eclipses my earlier expectations for this season, but when you’ve got a squad of such clear quality you need consistency. I don’t know, maybe I’m overthinking it again, that’s only our 5th loss in almost half a season after all. Time will tell I suppose. We’ve now got 3 matches to go before the winter break and I want 9 points on the board so that we can take some momentum into 2022. Let’s get it done.

131 3 1 league

Episode 132 >

Nightmare Fuel (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep130)

I’m fuming.

< Episode 129

“Franjo, rumours have been circulating in the papers that you’re under consideration for the Montpellier job, is there any truth in that?”

“Well you’d have to ask Montpellier that, wouldn’t you?” I smirk. I quite enjoy riling up the press, especially young reporters that are still wet behind the ears. The young man goes bright red.

“B-but they do need someone with your experience in fighting relegation?” He replies. It’s more of a statement than a question.

“They certainly do need someone, but my cats have only just finished marking my new flat with their scent, so I’d feel bad about leaving at the minute.” A chuckle goes around the press conference.

I’ve heard the rumours, of course I have. Montpellier have sacked their former defender-turned-Manager Daniel Congré with the club in 18th, having just lost 0-3 3 games on the bounce. To be fair those matches were against Lyon, PSG and Monaco so I think it’s a bit harsh. I’ve got no interest in the job though. I don’t see why I would leave a club so clearly on an upwards trajectory for one in free fall.

130 1 3 not interested.png

130 1 4 auxerre happy.png

This is yet another problem with International breaks. In the age of social media and 24 hour news, 2 weeks without football sends fans into catatonic states of boredom that the media combat by making mountains out of molehills, by which I mean making news out of rumours. I don’t mind them though, it’s quite fun watching the press grope around for any kind of clue they can find. The only news I care about is AJ Auxerre news and after playing in his 15th game for the club, Ivorian playmaker Joël Soumahoro has received a small pay bump. Nice one, Joël.

130 1 2 joel bump.png

The next lip smacking piece of gossip making it’s way around the Centre de Formation is that the French 8th round draw has been made. We’re still yet to play our 7th round tie but if we win we’ll be up against Derby de la N77 rivals ESTAC Troyes, who I’ve already seen off twice since I arrived in France.

130 1 7 cup draw.png

There’s good and bad news on the injury front: 4th choice striker Romain Montiel sprains his ankle in training and will miss up to 4 weeks of action. This isn’t ideal as he joins Florian Ayé and Nathan Andre on our list of injured strikers and at the moment Hicham Aidir is on an uncharacteristic dry spell. The good news is that Florian is back in light training after his horrific achilles injury, but the other bad news is that he’s still a long way off being ready to play. Even after he rejoins full training he’s going to need nurturing back to fitness.

130 1 8 montiel inj

130 1 9 aye back

I then get a rap-rap-rap on my office door. It’s Marc François, a versatile forward from the academy. He’s unhappy with his game-time and wants a loan move, but Captiste talks him round with one of his trademark hypnotic captain’s speeches. It’s ironic that Marc came to see me about his lack of game time actually, because with my 3 back ups injured, he’s next in line and will actually be on the bench today as we travel to Stade Malherbe Caen.

130 1 11 francois happy

130 1 12 francois

Stade Malherbe Caen have without a doubt been the League’s biggest underachievers so far. They finished 18th in Ligue 1 last year, only 3 points from safety and were predicted to win Ligue 2 at a canter as they bounce straight back, but with over a third of the season gone they’re sat in 10th place below several teams that were predicted to struggle, like Groupe Sportif Consolat, Red Star and US Orléans. This is one of those situations that feels like a trap though. The predicted title winners lying dormant in midtable, lulling me into a false sense of security before suddenly switching it on and battering us.

130 1 14 preview.png

I only make a couple of changes after our generally fine performance before the break. Faouzi Hikem is back from suspension and replaces Mike Kakuba, who struggled at centre back on a rare start, with Mamadou Doucouré sliding back into the centre to accommodate Hikem. I also bring in Lamine Fomba for Joël, who picked up his 3rd yellow in 10 matches last time out and is suspended for this one. Adama Ba’s fit again but is kept out of the lineup by Tirard, who might actually be ready to show me why he was touted as one of our best players when I joined and as I mentioned before it’s a first call up the match day squad for Marc François.

130 1 15 formations.png

As I feared, Stade Malherbe Caen come roaring out of the traps. With just 3 minutes gone they put together a fine passing move on the edge of our box and Abergel ends up with the ball at his feet in space to the left of goal. He shoots for the near top corner with Lenogue hideously out of position but luckily the ball bounces back off the post and is cleared by Samba. 5 minutes later we push forward ourselves. Fomba slides the ball forward to Aidir 25 yards out, who turns and chips it beautifully into Foden’s path. Foden just needs to direct the ball into either corner and we’ll take the lead, but he fires it straight at Didillon, who palms it around the post. We go on the counter as aside from that chance, the hosts have been pushing hard so far.

10 minutes later Caen find themselves with a corner on the left and their Egyptian former Anderlecht winger Trezeguet goes over to take it. He swings the ball over to the far post and Portuguese centre back Pedro Mendes rises above his marker Aidir to head home the opening goal. Another 5 minutes pass before we win a free kick on the left wing, level with the opposition box. Tirard whips a cross in which Sissako flicks on, sending the ball looping over defenders and onto the boot of Phil Foden, who volleys it against the bar from 6 yards. This might not be our day. It’s definitely not Phil’s.

It’s not Trezeguet’s either. He gets stretchered off with only 27 minutes on the clock and it looks like a particularly nasty one. He was sprinting into our half with space all around him before suddenly hitting the deck, howling in pain. Fingers crossed it’s nothing too serious. At half time I bring off Raf, who’s still pretty knackered after spending the last 2 weeks playing for Madagascar’s National side. Goujon comes on in his place and we head back out to attack.

10 minutes after the restart I hook Tirard, who’s been quiet again. I can’t give him many more chances. Ba comes on and as he and Foden will be cutting in we’ll have our full backs charge up the wings beyond the 2 wide men. The change takes only 8 minutes to pay off, when Ba holds the ball up in the centre, plays ahead of the rampaging Hikem and he floats in a brilliant cross to the far post, where Foden arrives to head in the equaliser. Game on.

With a quarter of an hour to play I bring François on for his debut in place of Aidir, who’s in the middle of a really bad spell at this point. The game is still tied at 1-1 heading for the end of 90 minutes, but then something utterly terrible happens. Bouzat receives the ball on the left wing and plays what I can only describe as a “Pea-roll-cross” straight at our near post. Lenogue has a howler, misjudging the shitty, trickling little pass and letting it bounce off his shin and out to Osaguona, who tucks the ball into the empty net from point blank range.

Lenogue feels the full force of my wrath in the changing room after the referee’s whistle confirms our 1-2 defeat. Top of the league and minutes away from a good point against one of the best quality squads in the league and we’re undone by a stupid mistake like that. I’m fuming.

130 1 16 post.png

130 1 13 pre match.png

Malherbe Caen’s victory came at a huge price I’m afraid. Trezeguet’s injury is about as serious as they come – He’s damaged his cruciate ligaments and is almost certainly out for the season. It’s never good to see something like that, even happening to a rival. At least we get to blow that result away with a nice easy Cup tie against lower league opposition though. Our last cup match didn’t go all that well but that was against a side that narrowly missed out on Promotion to Ligue 2, whereas Tiercé Cheffes are down in the regionals somewhere.

130 2 1 cup build up

130 2 3 preview

I’m that confident that I’m making 11 changes again. Kamara starts in net so that Lenogue can spend some time in the stands thinking about what he’s done, while Aguilar, Kakuba, Tower and Mombris make up the back 4. Fomba and Basauri are our central midfield duo with Zoun, Chassaing and Tirard behind François. We’ll look to control the match and play some fluid football with Project: Meatloaf. I 100% expect a victory.

130 2 4 formations.png

We get off to a good start under 10 minutes in when Zoun releases Captain-for-the-day Aguilar down the right, who sends a cross into the 6 yard box. Romero heads it away as far as Zoun, who chips it back into the mixer again and this time François powers a header against the bar, but when the centre back Ugo Henry swings a boot to clear the ball he smashes it against his team mate Gérald Lafon. The ball bounces straight past the keeper to open the scoring. The own goal’s credited to Henry, which really confuses me as he was the one specifically kicking away from the goal. Best not to overthink it though

10 minutes later after Tirard’s free kick is cleared, Zoun crosses the ball into the Tiercé box again and Kakuba heads it goalwards, but it’s blocked by a defender on the line. With 5 minutes to go before the break we go close again when another Aguilar cross is once again headed against the bar by full debutant François, but seconds later Mombris drills a low cross into the box and Zoun’s tripped as he goes to latch onto it, winning a penalty. Tirard dispatches it coolly into the bottom corner to double our lead.

If I were the Tiercé boss I’d want nothing more than an opportunity to regroup at the break, but being the complete set of bastards we are, we don’t let them get there. With under a minute of normal time to play Zoun drills a low cross in from the right byline. In an attempt to hoof the ball clear, Lafon, who contributed to the opening own goal, smacks the ball – Against fellow centre back Thibaut Bonnet, sending it careening into the bottom corner. Oh lads.

I’m willing to bet that our half time team talk was a lot more laid back than our opposition’s. In all fairness they look more resolute after the break and it takes 18 whole minutes for us to add our fourth. An outswinging Tirard corner is headed back across goal by Zoun at the far post and nodded in by Lamine Fomba. Job done, I bring off Chassaing and introduce Hicham Aidir in the hopes that he’ll break his goal drought. He doesn’t, but you can’t blame me for trying. 4-0 it ends.

130 2 5 post.png

This match will have been nightmare fuel for a lot of the Tiercé players, especially Gérald Lafon, who orchestrated both own goals without being credited with one. We’ll be facing our rivals ESTAC Troyes in the 8th round, which I can’t wait for. We can win that. We can keep progressing. Even though we’ve slipped back down to 2nd in Ligue 2 below new chart toppers Angers SCO, which is clear evidence that I should focus on the league, I can’t help but wonder if this could be the year that I finally get my hands on a cup. I mean, it’s almost certainly not as Monaco and PSG seem to keep this particular trophy between them on some sort of timeshare scheme, but I can still dream.

130 2 6 cup win130 3 1 league

Episode 131 >

Surprise Heroes (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep129)

Well I never.

< Mini-sode 128.5

I’ve been in a surprisingly good mood this week. Since I showered off that filthy display against Red Star I’ve remembered it only as a blip. A single ugly brush stroke on the masterpiece that has been Auxerre’s start to the season. I’ve been in such a good mood that I tied up new contracts with several players: Backup goalies Bingourou Kamara and Anthony Gasnier, right back Issa Samba, who I started the season unsure about but who has proved his worth, and Mike Kakuba, who for some reason I had only given a 2 year contract when he signed a few months ago.

To brighten the mood even further, the draw for the French Cup 7th round is drawn too, with Auxerre pit against AS Tiercé Cheffes, a small semi-pro side. Putting aside the fact that we’ve already been dumped out of one cup by lower league opposition, this is a really kind draw for us.

129 1 1 cup draw.png

And then my good mood plummets when head physio Mathieu Debain walks into my office with a rain cloud over his head. We’ve suffered yet another long term injury to one of our young stars, this time Alessandro Bassani, our sought after left winger. A broken ankle. He hadn’t made it into my team so far but with my faith in Corentin Tirard ever dwindling, he was getting closer. He’s now out for 4 months, which is a big shame for a young lad with a lot of potential.

129 1 7 bassani inj.png

So that’s sufficiently brought me down ahead of our away match at Clermont Foot, who are 9th in Ligue 2 and only 4 points behind us. Clermont manager Corrine Diacre is the only female manager in the league and she’s something of a local hero, having been in charge of the club for over 7 years and making them almost a nailed on top 7 side.

129 1 9 preview.png

Unsurprisingly I’ve got some changes to make today after my usual central midfield partnership both got themselves a 1 match suspension with their sendings off last week. Sissako and Raf come in to replace Fomba and Goujon while I heed the advice of my cat Meatloaf and stick with the system that I named after him.

129 1 10 formations.png

39 seconds. 39 seconds is all it takes for L’AJA to put together a passing move, for Phil Foden to cut inside with the ball, to lay it off and for Abdoulaye Sissako to fire us ahead from 12 yards. 39 seconds. 2 minutes and 58 seconds later we’re 2 up. While I stand gobsmacked on the touchline, Joël tees the ball up for Sissako again and the midfielder takes a touch and smashes it goalwards from 20 yards. Unfortunately the ball takes a wicked deflection on the way into the net off centre back Nathan Dekoké and goes down as an own goal, but Sissako clearly has a point to prove today.

As the half hour mark approaches we’re still winning 2-0, but Clermont are trying to find a way back. Doucouré switches off for a second while marking lone striker and former Lazio, Aston Villa and Czech Republic player Libor Kozák and he times his run through the defence perfectly just as Jobello feeds a pass through to him. Kozák stabs the ball at goal but Lenogue makes a good save, sending the ball behind for a corner. We go slightly narrower to try and prevent that kind of chance from reoccurring and the scores remain unchanged at half time.

The second half is a quiet one. Hicham Aidir has now turned in 3 goalless performances in a row, which normally wouldn’t make me bat an eyelid, but he’s Hicham bloody Aidir. I bring him off on the hour to give Montiel another run out, while Tirard comes on for the last 15 minutes. In the end though an extremely dominant performance allows us to come away from Clermont with a 2-0 victory.

129 1 11 post.png

Abdoulaye Sissako, who I didn’t think much of yesterday, has turned heads with that performance. Arguably 2 goals in 4 minutes, a Man of the Match award and a Team of the Week selection all from a day’s work makes me want to keep a very close eye on him.

129 2 1 totw.png

We’re meant to be playing our Cup match against AS Tiercé Cheffes during the international break in a couple of weeks time, but I request to have it postponed. Zoun, Aidir, Raf and Lenogue have all been called up by their respective countries and although our striker and keeper are probably due a rest, the other 2 could well feature and I want them available.

129 2 4 postponed 2.png

129 2 6 pre match.png

The good news in regards to our position in the league is that Bourg-en-Bresse have only taken 1 point from their last 2 matches, which has allowed us to emerge from the chasing pack and just about catch up with them, only 2 points behind. The bad news is that our next opponents are the only team so far that have been able to beat them: Groupe Sportif Consolat, who join us for a “Fan Day” in Stade Abbé-Deschamps.

129 1 5 fan day.png

They’re 6th and performing far above their predicted level, having been one of the favourites to go down this year. They were very nearly relegated last year too, but stormed back from a 1-2 home loss to win the relegation playoff 5-3 on aggregate against GFC Ajaccio.

129 2 7 preview.png

Adama bruises his shin in training the day before this one, which is annoying as it coincides with a suspension for Faouzi Hikem, who picked up his 3rd booking in 10 games as we beat Clermont Foot. Our entire left side needs to change and I’m already worried about this rejuvenated Consolat side. The play a narrow diamond 4-4-2 so we’re going to Project: Meatloaf Mk II. We’ll play ultra narrow to counter their strategy as we so often do, and in terms of personnel Mike Kakuba starts in defence for the first time since his injury 2 and a half months ago when he was ousted by Doucouré, who will move across to left back where he’s fairly competent. Tirard will come in on the left wing, where he’ll provide width while Doucouré just stays back and keeps his defensive position as I don’t want to overstretch him. You’ll also notice that Lamine Fomba and Loïc Goujon are back from suspension and will be watching from the bench. Let this be a lesson to everyone else that fancies an early bath.

129 2 8 formations

I knew we’d be in for a scrappy match and the first 25 minutes is predictably tight. I want us to take control though so we’ll push on slightly. It nearly works after just 5 minutes when Samba wins the ball 25 yards out on the right and chips a lovely cross to the far post on the turn. Of all people Joël rises to get his head to the ball and sends it looping back across goal towards the top corner, but it clips against the bar and falls to Phil Foden, before Bozic steps in and scoops the ball into his arms. Consolat have their own chance a minute or so later when striker Umut Bozok hits a pot shot from about 25 yards and sends it oh so wide.

With 6 minutes to play before the break Sissako drives forward into opposition territory. He spots Phil Foden in a central position 25 yards out and fires the ball into his feet. Foden controls it well and shows good vision by playing a little reverse ball to Tirard, who’s in space on the edge of the box. The winger gets the ball out of his feet and boots it straight down the centre of goal, but it has enough power to take it past Bozic and into the net. Well I never. It may only be temporary, but Corentin Tirard’s just put us top of the league.

The second half, much like in our last match, is quiet. Again, Montiel comes on for the worryingly subdued Hicham Aidir, but the match ends with only a single goal scored.

129 2 9 post.png

The board are disappointed that the fan day game wasn’t a 5-4 end to end barnstormer of a match, but by definition most of the crowd got their tickets for free so they got what they paid for.

130 1 1 fan day reaction

That sort of thing won’t cause club attendances to skyrocket, but do you know what will? AJ Auxerre sitting on top of Ligue 2 with 15 games played, separated from 2nd place Bourg-en-Bresse by 3 goals. Now we just need to stay here for 23 more games. How difficult can that be?

129 3 1 league.png

Tribune Leclerc (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Mini-sode 128.5)

I can see the entire pitch from up here without even turning my head.

< Episode 128

I’m sitting in the Tribune Leclerc stand in Stade Abbé-Deschamps. Right at the back of the balcony against the back wall. I can see the entire pitch from up here without even turning my head. Why is it that Managers don’t sit up here? Why don’t we direct the match from on high where it’s easier to see the shape of the teams? I stroke Burnie, who’s curled up asleep on the seat to my right. Not sure where Meatloaf’s got to though, somebody let him out before.

“I wouldn’t worry about me”, says Meatloaf. Or… Is that Meatloaf? I turn my head to the left to see that it is indeed him strolling on his hind legs up the row of seats towards me: A 6 foot cat in full victorian English garb, top hat and all. “May I?” He asks as he reaches me, gesturing to the adjoining seat. I pull it down for him and watch him sit. I’ve always liked the markings on Meatloaf’s fur. He’s mostly light brown but with dark stripes all over his face and body, including two v-shaped lines above his eyes that resemble eyebrows. And then there’s the white trail from his chin down to his big white belly and the trademark white hourglass shape above his nose.

“Do you want to know your problem, Franjo?” He asks casually. I say nothing. “You’re too reactionary, my friend. Your emotions too often rule your decisions.” I look at him quizzically, but not wanting to piss off what is by definition a “Big Cat”, I wait patiently for him to continue. He takes off his hat and holds it on his lap as he looks into my eyes sympathetically. “Take this afternoon for example: You lost a football match and questioned your own philosophy on the game as a result. Stick by your convictions, for crying out loud. If you want battling footballers, you’ve got to accept the rough with the smooth. You’re going to pick up more points from losing positions than you would with other less…” He clears his throat as he searches for the word and a fur ball the size of a tennis ball plops out, bounces off the top of his hat and splats onto the ground. “…Combative players,” He continues as if nothing had happened, “But they’re also going to bloody battle, aren’t they?”

“But I don’t want to be a Manager that sends his side out to break legs and pick up 10 cards a game, that’s not how I want to win.”

“Have you explicitly told one of your sides to do that?” Asks Meatloaf, raising his ‘eyebrows’.

“Well, no… Well, maybe… A couple of times at most, but no. No, not usually.”

“Then there’s a world of difference, isn’t there. You aren’t creating the new Crazy Gang, you just surround yourself with players who want to win and aren’t afraid to put their bodies on the line to do it.” He puts a paw on my shoulder. “Don’t overthink this one, old friend.” He winks and gives me a broad smile. I smile back at my over-sized moggie.

After a moment, I ask “How do you know about the Crazy Gang? You were born in… 2012-ish?” Meatloaf looks taken aback.

“Wikipedia mainly”, he replies curtly, drumming his claws absent-mindedly on the top of his hat. I nod slowly and we sit in silence for a moment. If anything his answer raises more questions. I turn back to him, ready to ask another, when without warning he leans over and licks me right on the bridge of my nose. His breath smells of fish and his tongue is unpleasantly coarse.

“What the fuck are you…”

“MOW?” he squeaks, his eyes suddenly wide and glazed over. “MOW!” he cries again, almost impatiently. As he leans over and licks my nose a second time my eyes open to see Meatloaf, the real Meatloaf, looking down at me curiously.

Seeing me wake, he jumps softly down from my chest onto the floor and starts padding away to his empty food bowl, where he turns and waits patiently for me to follow. I swing my legs out of bed and check the clock on my phone. 1am. Pretty much spot on. I can’t have been asleep very long. I stand up and shuffle over to fill the food bowl and Meatloaf digs in delightedly. I give him a scratch behind the ear and smile. He doesn’t know it, but he’s spot on.

Fundamentally Wrong (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep128)

I’ve got to do better.

< Episode 127

The 2 week International break is a chance for me to collect my thoughts after a hectic start to the season. We’ve really made a better start than I could’ve hoped for. Everyone’s pulling their weight and even Phil Foden’s starting to show why I broke my personal transfer record to bring him in, although not consistently. Overall I’m really happy. And why shouldn’t I be, we’re 2nd in the bloody league!

There was some good news and bad news to come out of our 3-0 win over Metz. I took Adama Ba off at half time as a precaution after he tweaked a muscle in his thigh and it turns out that he strained it, so he misses the entire International break, which is good timing if you think about it. On the upside though, we had 4 players in the Domino’s Ligue 2 Team of the Week. Phil Foden and Faouzi Hikem are both in after they had fantastic games against Metz and I mentioned after the match how pleased I were that they were starting to show their undoubted quality, but the other 2 pleasing inclusions are Issa Samba and Mamadou Doucouré, who I really had pegged as back up players about a month ago. Doucouré’s been spurred on after his debut penalty miss though and is putting together a mean partnership at the back with Captiste, while Issa’s barely put a foot wrong since coming in for the injured Ruben Aguilar.

127 2 14 ba inj

128 1 1 totw

I then get some more bad news though and it really is pretty bad. The jewel of our academy, Nathan Andre, slips a disc in training and will miss up to 3 months. This is bad news on a number of levels: Firstly, he’s an excellent prospect and I don’t want to see his development hindered, and secondly he was my backup striker in the absence of Florian Ayé, so it’s looking like until the New Year we’ll be relying solely on Aidir and possibly our functional target man Romain Montiel to score the goals. Romain’s a nice lad, but if Hicham gets injured before January our attack will be about as threatening as a crayon drawing of Bob Ross in a Pikachu onesie.

128 1 2 andre inj.png

Anyway, the rest of the squad come through the break unscathed and are raring to go by the time our visit to Niort rolls around. Chamois Niortais have had a rough start. They were predicted to finish safe in midtable but early signs are that they’re in serious trouble. They’re currently propping up the League having won 1 and lost 7 of their first 11 matches.

128 1 4 preview

They need to be respected though of course. Besides the fact that their luck might change and propel them back into mediocrity, they play with a narrow 4-3-3, the prospect of which always makes me anxiously furrow my brow slightly. The match will come a few days too soon for Adama Ba so Corentin Tirard will come in and have another chance to show me that he deserves to be here, although my patience is waring thin with him. We’ll stick with Project: Meatloaf Mk II but we’ll play very narrow as we do against these narrow formations.

128 1 5 formations.png

After 10 minutes of the match, Tirard gets on the ball and does actually contribute, playing it inside for Joël. The playmaker dribbles to the edge of the box but shoots just wide of the far post. The rest of the half is nothing much to write home about aside from a chance about 7 minutes before half time, when Fomba squares the ball to Aidir. He plays it on to Tirard, who thwacks it at goal first time with his weaker right foot, but Allagbé pulls a save out of the top draw, tipping the ball against the post at full stretch. To be fair to Tirard, he’s certainly caught my attention so far.

The second half is even less action packed than the first, believe it or not, and with 25 minutes to go I bring Tirard off, replacing him with Zoun to stretch the defence as they tire. He’ll go onto the right flank and Foden will swap over to the left. With 10 minutes to play I also hook Hicham Aidir, who’s been quiet as a mouse all game. I could do without that kind of performance from him after Andre’s recent injury. Montiel comes on in his place as we trudge towards the final whistle.

Seconds later though, Fomba gets on the ball and looks up, assessing his options. Chamois Niortais have over-extended somewhat while looking for the breakthrough and are furiously pack-pedalling as our midfielder plays a direct ball forward to Montiel, who plays it first time into the acres of space in front of Zoun on the right wing. The 400 travelling fans roar with appreciation as the Burkinabe winger strides into the box, while 4 white shirts arrive just behind him. Zoun pulls the ball back towards Montiel on the penalty spot – But the pass is just behind the target man. There’s a half-second of silence as the chance appears to be gone, before another white shirt arrives. Zoun’s pass wasn’t meant for Montiel, it was meant for Phil bloody Foden, who strokes the ball into the bottom corner of the net to score what turns out to be the winning goal.

128 1 6 post.png

After the initial jubilation dies down, I’m not quite sure how I feel about that performance. We scored an 81st minute winner against the team at the bottom of the league at the end of a so-so match. On reflection though, our defenders all impressed and restricted the opposition’s 3 strikers to pot shots all day. Plus, I’m not going to overthink this one. We did dominate and although Hicham had an off day, we managed to find the net. I was impressed with Montiel’s part in the goal too, receiving the ball with his back to goal, playing it quickly into space for a quicker man and sprinting into the box to try and get on the scoresheet. Maybe he’ll be decent backup after all.

128 2 4 pre match.png

I get collared by a couple of my fringe players in the week leading up to our next match. Bingourou Kamara’s the first to come to me complaining about first team football, but luckily Captiste’s with me and manages to calm him down instantly. I don’t know how he does it. He’s like Phoebe in that one episode of Friends where she has a knack for breaking up with people. Just a couple of seconds of quiet conversation, then hug it out and everything’s sorted before you can say “Clunky popular culture reference”.

128 2 2 kamara happy.png

Amine Chassaing’s also unhappy with his playing time and he tells me that he wants to go out on loan. As Captiste opens his mouth to fucking hypnotise him or whatever he does though, I hold out a hand to stop him because I think it’s a brilliant idea. Chassaing could do with regular football and he won’t fit into my team at the minute, so I agree to try and sort him out with a loan move.

128 2 3 chassaing wants loan.png

Our win over Chamois Niortais hasn’t gotten us any closer to table topping Bourg-en-Bresse, which is annoying. They’re keeping a 4 point cushion over us as they continue their fantastic 12 match unbeaten run. All we can do to try and catch them is to keep winning and wait for them to slip up, so I’m expecting us to beat Red Star FC in front of our own fans today. Red Star are doing fine so far in the League, currently sitting 6 places above their pre-season predicted place in 10th. They’re in decent form but so are we. And we’ve kept 2 clean sheets in a row.

128 2 5 preview.png

Red Star play a narrow 4-1-3-2, which is an interesting formation. There’s not much sense playing narrow like we do against, say, Chamois Niortais’ 4-3-3, because this particular narrow system shouldn’t overload us that much going forwards, but will probably be quite difficult to break down. With that in mind I’m breaking out the Meatloaf. We’re the home side so I want us to dominate and peg them back in their own half. We’ve got the quality to find a way through if we can get them under the thumb. Adama Ba’s fit again so he’ll come in for the pretty ineffective Tirard on the left, cutting inside with Foden while we get our full backs overlapping again and helping to dominate the final third.

128 2 6 formations.png

We’re behind within 15 minutes when midfielder Coulibaly chips a lovely ball through for Crnicki, who shows great technique in half-volleying the ball into the bottom corner of Lenogue’s net. The next 20 minutes are a pretty even affair but our situation worsens as we approach half time, when Loïc Goujon recklessly trips Red Star striker Bailly as he holds the ball up, earning a second yellow and a red. I respond by dropping Joël back into midfield alongside Fomba and giving our full backs more attacking responsibility. We will now go a bit narrower and exploit the flanks with those attacking full backs.

At half time it’s still a level game in every aspect but the scoreline and the number of players on the pitch. For the second half we’ll go more attacking as we need to find a way back in. On the hour though we’ve still not found an equaliser so Aidir becomes a target man who’ll hold the ball up as we build up play around him. We’ll also go more direct to him. For all my tactical tweaks, we’re 2-0 down less than a minute later when Cros chips the ball up for Crnicki on the edge of the box. It’s a nice little lay up and Crnicki capitalises, fizzing his volley into the bottom corner to double his side’s advantage.

With just over 20 minutes to go, Fomba and Berthé challenge for a header in midfield and Fomba pushes him right in the back needlessly. My head’s in my hands as the referee shows him his second yellow and Auxerre’s second red. “Get off the fucking pitch” I spit as our midfielder shuffles towards the tunnel, shaking his head in disbelief. He glances up at me gives me a dismissive look as he goes past. I’m furious. This is the first time while I’ve been at Auxerre where I feel like I’ve actually been out-thought by my opposite number. My tactics were wrong from the start and that’s why we’re losing, but having 9 men certainly doesn’t fucking help. Certain that the game’s already over, I rejig our formation with little confidence that it’ll improve our situation. We swap to a pretty pathetic looking 2-2-3-1 formation with a centre back pairing, 2 attacking wing backs, a midfield trio of ball winner Sissako, subbed on for Ba, and playmakers Joël and Foden. Aidir cuts a lonely figure up front.

128 2 7 formations

We go route one from that point on and it only takes 5 minutes for the changes to have an effect. A pretty nice looking Auxerre move ends with Joël picking out Hikem in space on the left wing. The wing back gets to the byline and whips a delicious cross in to the far post, straight onto the head of Aidir who’s standing a couple of yards out. He nods it wide as the 5000 Auxerre fans groan in unison, echoing my feelings. I’m going back to my flat. This has been a remarkably frustrating day.

128 2 8 post.png

Somehow the match was still very very even if you look back over the match stats. We and Red Star both managed 12 shots and 5 on target, we had 51% of the ball, but we fouled nearly twice as much as they did. It gets me thinking. I don’t tell my teams to go out kicking the opposition about, but we do pick up a lot of cards and my Santos side broke the record for number of booking points picked up in a PSL season. The only explanation that I can think of is my philosophy. I like battlers. I like players who’d rather stick a foot in than shy away from a challenge. Maybe days like this are inevitable when you approach football like I do. Maybe my approach is fundamentally wrong, I don’t know. All I know is that even with 11 men we would’ve been beaten fair and square today and I’ve got to do better.

128 3 1 league.png

Mini-sode 128.5 >

Haunting (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep127)

We’re in brilliant form and I want us to carry that on today.

< Episode 126

“Monsieur Franjo!” A journalist’s hand shoots into the air. “You’re unbeaten in 5 games and comparisons have been made between your good start to this season and your surprise title win with SC Angrense in 2018. Do you think that you can keep up this kind of form and replicate that achievement with AJ Auxerre?”

127 1 1 unbeaten.png

“Look, with all due respect, we’re 9 matches into a 38 match season,” I smirk. “We’ve had a good start to the season and obviously we want to finish as high up the table as we can, but for the moment… I’ve still only been here for a few months and there are still things that we’re working out as a club. A title push isn’t on my radar at the minute.”

127 1 3 preview.png

I am happy with that record though. In our last 5 matches we’ve won 4, scored 9 and conceded 2. We’re in brilliant form and I want us to carry that on today when we travel to US Orléans. Orléans have had a distinctly average start to the season and they play with a 4-4-2, so I’m torn on whether I want to stick with Project: Meatloaf Mk II, which has seen us play so impressively recently, or swap to Project: Burnie Mk III, which I designed specifically for use against formations like theirs. In the end I go with Project: Burnie Mk III. I think we’ll be more comfortable with a back 3 against their front 2. Adama Ba and Phil Foden come out, although I haven’t forgotten about my pledge to give Phil a run of games, and Mike Kakuba and Nathan Andre come in. Kakuba will mark their 6’5″ target man Nathaël Julan and Mamadou Doucouré will take the more industrious Yoane Wissa, who’s in good form having scored 6 goals already this season. Wing backs Issa Samba and Faouzi Hikem will man mark their wingers too.

127 1 4 formations.png

Our first chance comes after 23 minutes when Fomba passes inside to Joël and the Ivorian playmaker turns and shoots, but Desprez dives to his left and catches the ball pretty comfortably. Desprez boots the ball upfield quickly and Julan rises to beat Kakuba in the air and nod the ball down the unguarded left wing. Barreto leaves Samba for dead and runs to the edge of the area, drawing Loïc Goujon across to meet him before chipping the ball across to the unmarked Wissa, who volleys Orléans ahead. Our defending in the last 10 seconds has been utterly, utterly diabolical. Nobody apart from Kakuba was doing what I asked them to and even he failed in his job.

5 minutes later we win a free kick on the edge of Orléans’ box, courtesy of our former right back Khamis Digol. Aidir and Joël stand over the ball but it’s Aidir who takes it, smashing the ball over the wall and past the flailing keeper to equalise. Our celebrations don’t last long though. Just as the clock ticks past the half hour Livolant gets free of Hikem on the right and drills a cross in that goes all the way through to Julan at the far post, who bundles the hosts back ahead. We go on the counter after that as Orléans are really punishing us on the counter themselves, but the rest of the half is quiet.

In fact pretty much the rest of the game is quiet. Sissako and Foden come on for Goujon and Joël with 25 minutes to go and 10 minutes after that we go on the attack. The only good chance created is with 5 minutes to play, when Julan looks up in his own half and plays a superb ball into the channel for Wissa to chase. Doucouré manages to force the Congolese striker wide enough that his shot flies into the stands, but apart from a short Zoun cameo and a knock picked up by Sissako, that’s all she wrote.

127 1 5 post.png

I’ll hold my hands up partially for that one. Yes, if I hadn’t changed a winning system we might have got something out of the game, but equally if we had played the system properly we might have come away with something too. I cannot get over our defending for the first goal. It’ll haunt my dreams tonight.

127 2 10 pre match.png

The late injury suffered by Abdoulaye Sissako is a twisted knee that’ll keep him out for 9-12 days. He’s not really impressed me so far. He picks up that many yellow cards when he does get on the pitch that he seems to be constantly suspended or injured, which isn’t a good quality.

127 2 1 sissako inj.png

Zoun, who apparently has fucking awful timing, chooses now as the time to tell me that he wants to join Nice in Ligue 1. Not when we were on an unbeaten run, but straight after we lose. I humour him and we chat about a potential move. He thinks his value is £2.6M and I heartily disagree, valuing him at about £5M. He isn’t happy.

127 2 2 zoun unh.png

Godspower Tower also thinks that this is a prime time to come and see me, making me check my trusty grey coat to see if someone’s stuck a “Bother me while I’m pissed off” sign to my back. Tower wants first team football, which is reasonable as he’s only played in our cup loss so far this season. Luckily for me, Captiste steps in and uses his Super Captaincy Powers to calm the big centre back down.

127 2 4 tower fine.png

And just to pour some salt in the wound, Adama Ba’s named in the Domino’s Ligue 2 Team of the Week. On the face of it this might seem like good news, but he’s won the accolade after his performance against Ajaccio in midweek and I dropped him for the very next match because I changed to a system that doesn’t use wingers, so for me this is just rubbing in my poor decision making.

127 2 5 totw.png

Ba’s also won the Goal of the Month award for his lovely effort from 20 yards against Nîmes Olympique. It was a brilliant strike to be fair.

127 2 9 ba gotm

And while we’re on the monthly awards, Hicham Aidir was the runner up in the Player of the Month award behind Wesley Saïd. Our striker’s had a terrific month, bagging 4 goals in 5 games and taking his overall tally to 8 goals in his first 10 matches for Auxerre, which is just phenomenal.

127 2 8 potm.png

After our next match against FC Metz some of our players will be heading off on International Duty. On loan full backs Billy and Ed Bolton are off to represent Morocco U20’s and USA U20’s respectively and Zoun, Raf, Ba, Lenogue, Aidir and Doucouré are joining up with their full national sides.

127 2 6 int callups.png

But let’s make sure we have something to smile about during that 2 week break by beating FC Metz at Stade Abbé-Deschamps. Like our last opponents, Metz have made a distinctly average start to the season and currently sit in 11th place on 13 points. We should have these, surely.

127 2 11 preview.png

I’m swallowing my pride and returning to Project: Meatloaf Mk II in the hope that we can recapture that good form. I want us to prove a point today though so we’ll be attacking and play with more fluidity from the off. Foden and Ba are back in for Kakuba and Andre to take their places cutting inside from the wings. Aguilar’s back to full fitness but to be fair Issa Samba has played very well in his absence, even against US Orléans (Aside from their opening goal, but I blame the entire defence equally for that), so I won’t be dropping him today.

127 2 12 formations.png

Metz set up to swamp the midfield with a flat 4-5-1 and it catches us by surprise. After 3 minutes Aidir runs into a brick wall when trying to run through them and they counter through lone striker Santini. He dribbles forwards and then plays the ball through for Millet, who runs through on goal. The midfielder tries to stroke the ball into the far top corner but he gets it ever so slightly wrong and the ball comes back off the underside of the bar and is cleared.

After that we start to settle into the game though and before a quarter of an hour’s passed, we get a throw in on the right, level with the Metz penalty area. Samba throws it to Fomba, who gives it straight back. Samba looks up and passes inside to Phil Foden, who drills a cross into the centre. I think everyone, including Faouzi Hikem, is surprised when the ball falls to Faouzi Hikem’s feet 8 yards out, but when it does he makes no mistake, blasting it into the bottom corner to put us ahead.

7 or 8 minutes later, Aidir dribbles forwards through FC Metz’s half, but Paul Millet, clearly still upset about his earlier miss, hacks him down maliciously and earns himself a straight red card. Metz go to a narrow 4-1-3-1 and bring on defensive midfielder Soudani for left winger Bazile, and the substitute tries to rally his team a couple of minutes later with a shot from 20 yards, but on reflection it wasn’t a good idea. The ball goes ballooning into the Stade Abbé-Deschamps crowd.

With 10 minutes to go before half time, Joël picks out Samba on the right in acres of space. Samba arcs a beautiful cross in to the far post and Ba arrives to meet it, but his headed effort hits the inside of the near post and rolls across the line, only to be cleared. A minute later we win a corner on the left and Foden goes across to take it. He curls a flat cross right onto the head of Lamine Fomba, who powers it past Dejanovic to open his account for the season. At least, that’s what I think happens at first glance. What actually happens is that Lamine Fomba heads it goalwards and Hicham Aidir, stood right in front of the keeper and played onside by the defender marking the post, glances it into the net with the subtlest of touches. It’s a poacher’s goal but I won’t begrudge him it. A top striker wants to get on the scoresheet whenever he possibly can and Hicham certainly fits that description. As we go into injury time he tries again after Phil Foden lays him off, shooting from the edge of the area and forcing a good save from Dejanovic, but at half time the score is 2-0.

Adama Ba comes into the changing room complaining about his calf. He must have tweaked it in the dying seconds of the half, so I bring him off as a precaution and bring Nathan Andre on in his place. Andre’s not much of a winger so we change to a narrow 4-2-3-1 with Andre, Joël and Foden behind Aidir.

Just before the hour mark we get our third when Faouzi Hikem gets clear down the left wing and pulls the ball back for Phil Foden, who arrives on the edge of the 6 yard box and slides the ball home. I punch the air when that one goes in. With every goal or assist Phil racks up, his confidence will get slightly higher and hopefully he’ll be able to put together some consistent good performances.

Muratovic has a weak attempt at our goal 20 minutes from time but FC Metz already look defeated. The sending off really destroyed them I think, although I would’ve still backed us to beat them with 11 men. I give Raf a cameo a few minutes later, but nothing else of note happens before the final whistle.

127 2 13 post.png

Today was a sneak peek of Phil Foden on top form and it was brilliant to watch. A goal and 2 assists sees him receive the Man of the Match award, just edging out Faouzi Hikem, who I’ve also had doubts about and who also had a fantastic match. If I can get these 2 playing like this consistently then we’ve got a couple of very good players on our hands.

127 3 1 league.png

Episode 128 >

The Foden Problem (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep126)

I’ve made a decision regarding Phil Foden.

< Mini-sode 125.5

I fall back against my front door, slamming it shut. I’m exausted. I slide across the new cranked barrel bolt that the nice locksmith assured me would keep out any would-be eccentric and possibly psychotic intruders. It took me over 2 hours just to work out where Meatloaf and Burnie were hiding and to tempt them out with a packet of dreamies. We’re good though. Everything’s back to normal, and that means that I can start focussing on our next match – Away at US Créteil-Lusitanos.

126 1 2 preview.png

Les Béliers are in a sticky patch of form at the minute. Having opened the season with a loss at Strasbourg, they won 4 on the bounce in all competitions but have since lost 4 on the bounce, including twice against Bourg-en-Bresse in the cup and league. Still, they were one of the favourites for relegation before the season started and they’re currently sitting pretty in 13th. I’ll be sticking with Project: Meatloaf Mk II for this one but I’ll need to make a personnel change. After coming off at half time against ESTAC Troyes, Ruben Aguilar has been ruled out for 2 weeks with a twisted ankle.

125 3 1 aguilar.png

It just so happens that the yellow card he picked up in that first half took him to 3 in his last 10 games, which means he’s suspended for this game anyway. I’m not saying he got booked deliberately… Wink… But it’s a happy coincidence all the same. Also banned for this one is Abdoulaye Sissako, who came on as a sub against Troyes and also picked up a booking. So coming in at right back today is Issa Samba, a man that I’ve not seen too much of so far aside from in our Cup defeat against GFC Ajaccio. Also, I’ve made a decision regarding Phil Foden and that decision is this: Even though he’s undoubtedly been our worst player so far this season, I’m going to give him a run of games. My reasoning is that this is all new to Phil: The regular competitive matches, playing off the right, being in a foreign country. He’s been a reserve player his whole career so far and maybe a run in a professional team will jump start him. If it doesn’t then at least I’ll have tried.

126 1 3 formations

The first real chance for either team comes just before the 20 minute mark, when Hicham Aidir slips a pass through for Foden. He strokes the ball towards goal with his weaker right foot but the shot’s easy for Descamps to catch. I actually wonder if he heard me talking before the match because he goes very close after 40 minutes with a free kick from just outside the area. He slams it against the angle between post and crossbar as we continue to knock on the USCL door. Just before the break, Doucouré breaks up a half hearted attack by the hosts and starts one of our own. The ball gets up to Aidir and he lays it off for who else but Phil Foden, who turns, lashes the ball goalwards and it cracks against the bar again. To be fair to him, he’s unlucky not to be on the scoresheet.

We head back out for the second half and within minutes, USCL are the ones threatening. Buaillon’s corner is nodded on by Caddy at the near post, headed back across goal by Niakaté at the far post and volleyed against the underside of the bar at point-blank range by Zélateur-Pinau. The ball hits the line, bounces off Hikem’s foot and is cleared by Doucouré as I wipe the sweat from my brow. We go on the counter after that and with 20 minutes to go we’re still tied up at 0-0. I bring on Zoun for Adama Ba and stick him on the right, with Foden moving across to the left. Aidir will be a target man in the middle and we’ll go direct to him as we continue to try to find the breakthrough. Within seconds we almost see results when Soumahoro passes long to Aidir on the left wing. Aidir strides powerfully towards goal and shoots, but drags his shot wide of the far post.

I bring on Tirard for Foden for the last 10 minutes in the hopes that an out and out left winger will provide a better outlet, but Tirard offers nothing. The match ends goalless.

126 1 4 post.png

As disappointed as I am that we weren’t able to score, a draw is probably what both teams deserve from this one. Foden was unlucky not to score, but then so was Zélateur-Pinau. Although granted Foden hit the bar twice from 20 yards and Zélateur-Pinau hit it once from 2. Anyway, let’s move on quickly.

126 2 2 pre match.png

AC Ajaccio are next up, not to be confused with GFC Ajaccio who beat us in the Coupe de la Ligue. We’re currently 2nd behind the surprising early league leaders Bourg-en-Bresse, who were predicted to finish in lower midtable. We’re 3 points behind them and Ajaccio are 2 points behind us in 3rd, so it’s a big match.

126 2 3 preview.png

In the run up to the match I call Phil Foden into my office and let him know that I’ve been less than impressed with him so far and that he needs to buck his ideas up. Thankfully he takes my criticism well, promising that he can improve and be an important part of my team.

126 2 1 foden talk.png

I’m not making any changes at all for this one. Aguilar’s still out but Samba gave a decent showing against Créteil, so I’m happy to keep him in place. I’m getting good performances from the rest of the team too so I’m going to leave the lineup alone for the time being. I see a surprising name on the opposition teamsheet though: Benjamin Valette starts for AC Ajaccio. The lad who was probably my brightest midfield talent at the start of the Summer was sold to Marseille, who’ve sent him out on loan to our opponents. Let’s show him that he shouldn’t have been so quick to demand a transfer away from Auxerre.

126 2 4 formations.png

We look lively in the first couple of minutes and while latecoming fans are still taking their seats we put together a brilliant move that ends with Aidir teeing up Adama Ba, who catches the ball beautifully and whacks it against the far post. With 6 minutes gone Aidir sets Phil Foden away down the right, but he’s perhaps overly eager to impress me and shoots with his weaker right foot from a narrow angle, sending the ball into the sidenetting.

20 minutes later, Samba gets some space in the final third on the right wing and chips a cross in. Pavlovic heads it away but only as far as Lamine Fomba, who takes a touch and tries an audacious outside-of-the-foot shot from 20 yards, which – Any guesses? – Comes back off the underside of the bar. Bloody hell, if only hitting the woodwork counted as a goal, eh? Sensing that we’re the better team after our early play we push on slightly, looking to control.

With seconds to go before half time, Fomba hoofs the ball into the air towards the right wing. Aidir controls it well and cuts inside onto his trusty left foot, continuing to run to the edge of the box. When he gets towards the centre he lashes a shot at goal, but Ajaccio captain Riffi Mandanda, younger brother of Steve, parries it well. Ba keeps the ball in though and we keep plugging away. Ba sends a cross in, it’s headed away, sent back in, controlled by Joël, laid off for Ba who chips it in again and Aidir volleys it home. Finally. I was beginning to think we wouldn’t score again for the rest of the season.

We drop back to a standard mentality at half time and within 2 minutes of the second half we’ve doubled our advantage. A well worked move from a throw in sees Foden pass inside to Joël, who squares it across to the penalty spot, where Ba’s waiting to clip the ball into the bottom corner. This is more like it. I can barely remember the sound of the ball hitting the bloody woodwork.

I give Mike Kakuba 20 minutes in place of Doucouré as I want to keep him as match fit as possible and with 10 minutes to go Zoun replaces Joël and takes the right wing, while Phil Foden drops back into midfield. With just a few minutes to play Ajaccio pull one back through a well struck free kick from Prince Vincent, but it’s too little too late. The match ends 2-1 to Auxerre.

126 2 5 post.png

Is it annoying to lose your clean sheet in the closing stages? Yes, of course it is. Sometimes the positives outweigh the negatives though and this is one of those times. Solid performances throughout the team, including Phil Foden, quality performances from Adama Ba and Joël especially and what’s most pleasing of all is that this was billed as a high pressure game. I saw zero nerves from this Auxerre team today. This is a team of winners. I’m a very happy man tonight.

126 3 1 league.png

Episode 127 >

Bonus (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Mini-sode 125.5)

What the fuck is happening?

< Episode 125

I come back to my flat to find my front door ajar. My heartbeat quickens. A burglar? An escaped murderer from a local jail? My excellent mood following the ESTAC Troyes match dissipates almost instantly. Cautiously I push the door open to reveal the living room of my flat. The first thing I notice is that there’s a small children’s paddling pool over by one of the armchairs. There isn’t usually a small children’s paddling pool over by one of the armchairs. Sitting in the armchair, with her shoes and socks removed, the bottom of her suit trousers rolled up slightly and her feet in the pool, is Sylvania.

I look at her, dumbfounded. She looks back at me showing a tremendous amount of excitement, from her Cheshire cat grin to the jazz hands she’s holding out. After a moment to take in this bizarre scene, I manage to say “What?”

“VOILA!” She cries. “I did it!”

“What on Earth could you possibly be referring to? Where are my cats?” I ask.

“Around,” she says vaguely, flourishing her hand dismissively. “I spoke to Auxerre and they gave us a bonus for avoiding relegation!” She squeals, if anything getting even more excited with each word.

“Right… What kind of bonus?”

“Well it wasn’t much.” She says, abruptly dialling it back several notches. “10 of the finest pounds!”

“10… thousand?” Sylvania shakes her head. “10 Hund… A thousand?” She continues to shake her head. “You got me a bonus of 10 pounds?” She nods. “OK… Well first of all, good job for… Getting anything” I start cautiously, “Can I have it?”

“You’re looking at it, Monsieur Franjo!” She beams. I look at her. And then at the paddling pool. And then around the room.

“I don’t think I am.” She nods vigorously, ramping her excitement back up to 11. She gestures down to the pool. I face the truth that I didn’t want to believe. “The pool cost £10, didn’t it.”

“15!” She corrects me, hardly able to contain her misplaced joy. “I had to put some towards it, but I thought you would enjoy it far more! It’s the finest one they had!” I just stare at her, slack jawed. “You do owe me 17 percent though”, she adds, suddenly deadly serious.

“17 percent of what, this pool?! It’ll flood my bloody flat if you try and take a chunk out of it!”

“Not of the pool!” She beams. “Simply pay me the £1.70 I am owed and reimburse the £5 I put towards the pool, plus my travel fees for the day.”

“Which were?” I groan, regretting every decision I’ve ever made.

“About £10 for trains and buses”. I open my wallet, take out a 20 pound note and dejectedly hold it out for her. She stands up and leaps out of the pool, spraying water across the living room as she lands next to me to snatch the note.

“Merci!” She smiles, as she walks past me towards the front door. “Make sure to call me the next time you need my expertise!” I scan every surface in my eye-line quickly, but it doesn’t look like she’s left a business card. I doubt I’ll need one though. She slams the door as she leaves but it swings back open. The lock’s broken. I guess I’m out of pocket for that too. And as far as I can see, I’m down 2 cats.

What the fuck is happening?

Episode 126 >

Derby de la N77 (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep125)

I’m feeling good about this year.

< Episode 124

125 1 1 blanc excited.png

“Welcome back, Isaac.” I grin as the young Cameroonian steps off Nîmes’ team bus.

“Hi, Boss.” Says Sohna, taking off his colourful over-ear headphones.

“I’ve had Crouchie watching your matches, he says you’re doing well.”

“Yeah I’m doing alright”, he shrugs. “The strikers are a lot better than they were in South Africa though.” He let’s out a chuckle. “I won’t be taking it easy on Hicham today though.”

“I wouldn’t expect you to, mate” I smile. “Good luck.” I shake his hand and he falls into line with his teammates, putting his headphones back on as he walks into Stade Abbé-Deschamps.

125 1 3 preview.png

Just like Brahim Ferhat in our last match, Isaac Sohna is absolutely eligible to play against us today as I want to have the opportunity to see him play against us and judge how he’s getting on for myself. We’ll be starting with Project: Meatloaf Mk II today and after the success we had in our last match with 2 inside forwards and 2 overlapping full backs, we’ll be trying the same thing again. Phil Foden comes in replacing Zoun after getting off the mark as a half time sub against USBCO, but otherwise we stay unchanged. Mike Kakuba’s fit enough for a spot on the bench though after his recent injury.

125 1 4 formations.png

We start the match playing some beautiful football and take the lead after only 20 minutes, when a fantastic passing move finishes with a chipped cross from Faouzi Hikem and a calm but precise volley into the bottom corner from Hicham Aidir. Sohna’s hands go straight over his face but mine shoot into the air. Brilliant start.

The rest of the half is pretty quiet and my team talk is just quiet encouragement to keep doing what we’re doing. The reaction is better than I expected though as within 30 seconds of the restart, Adama Ba cuts in from the left wing and lets rip from 25 yards, straight into the top corner. It’s a great hit to put us 2-0 up.

With 20 minutes to go I bring Zoun on for Foden. He played a part in the first goal but otherwise he’s had another quiet game. 5 minutes later we push through the centre and Joël passes to Aidir on the edge of the box, who seems to be double marked by Sohna and defensive midfielder Dimitri Capelle. They both stand off him though, which gives Hicham plenty of time to trap the ball, pick his spot and smash it into the far top corner. Sohna’s had a pretty poor game but we’ve looked absolutely unstoppable at some points. Mike Kakuba gets 10 minutes as a holding man at the end as I look to build his match fitness and the game ends at 3-0.

125 1 5 post.png

Not only am I buoyed by the overall team performance, but I think that’s the first time I’ve seen the hype about Faouzi Hikem. Given more freedom as an overlapping fullback instead of a defensive one, he was excellent. Getting himself in good positions, dribbling well, passing well. So much so actually that he’s earned himself a place in the Ligue 2 Team of the Week alongside Loïc Goujon and Joël Soumahoro. Hicham Aidir’s omitted, which I find odd until I see that US Orléans’ striker Yoane Wissa also scored twice in his team’s 4-0 demolition of Valenciennes, so it’s probably a coin toss.

125 2 1 totw.png

125 2 2 pre match.png

Our next match pits us against ESTAC Troyes, who were my first opponents as Auxerre manager. The rivalry between the 2 clubs is known as the Derby de la N77, referring to Route Nationale 77, a road that connects Auxerre and Troyes. Our rivals are managed by none other than Benoît Cheyrou, a former Auxerre defensive midfielder of 3 years, although he’s most well known for his subsequent spells at Marseille and Toronto. His side are only 2 points behind us in the league so they can climb above us with a win, but off the back of that last performance I’m feeling good about this one.

125 2 3 preview.png

I’m keeping the same lineup that beat Nîmes so handily. Mike Kakuba’s fit again but after keeping 2 consecutive clean sheets I’m in no rush to interrupt the developing partnership between Captiste and Doucouré.

125 2 4 formations.png

My confidence in that centre back partnership starts to unravel after just 7 minutes when a hoofed ball forwards is nodded on by MBeumo and Adama Niané nips in front of Captiste to control the ball and blast it into the top corner of Lenogue’s net. We equalise just 5 minutes later though before the sense of dread really starts to kick in, when Phil Foden’s low cross deflects into the Troyes net off the foot of midfielder Bilal Brahimi. I don’t care how they go in, so I’ll take the own goal with open arms.

ESTAC Troyes come straight back at us after the kick off. The ball’s worked around until it reaches the goalscorer Niané and he dribbles past Doucouré before shooting at Lenogue, but our keeper catches it comfortably. Ruben Aguilar twists his ankle after 20 minutes, which worries me, but he’ll play on for as long as he can because I don’t have a right back on the bench.

On the half hour mark, we win a free kick on the right wing, level with the Troyes box. Foden executes a nice little chip into the area and Goujon flicks the ball on, but when Adama Ba meets it just outside the 6 yard box he gets underneath the ball and sends it looping over the bar. The game continues at a million miles an hour, with both teams quite open and quite eager to get forwards. Phil Foden tries his luck from 25 yards a few minutes after Ba’s chance, but he skews the ball wide.

With 5 minutes to go before the break, ESTAC Troyes win a corner on the left. Domingues swings it in towards Brahimi, but just as he jumps for the ball Aidir pushes him in the back. Mr Brisard, the referee, gives a penalty and it seems like the right decision. As good as Aidir is in front of the opposition’s goal, his defending could do with some work. I take some small comfort in the fact that the referee decides to just give the big Moroccan a telling off and doesn’t show him a card. Niané, the Malian International goalscorer, steps up to take the penalty as Xavier Lenogue jumps up and down on his line, waving his arms to try and put him off. Niané runs up… Shoots right… AND LENOGUE SAVES IT! The Martiniquais International dives the right way and parries the ball away as Hikem sprints in to boot it out for a throw. I feel even more vindicated for putting my faith in Xavier now, after watching our other keeper Kamara not save a single penalty against GFC Ajaccio the other week.

At half time I bring on Mike Kakuba in place of Aguilar, who’s really struggling with his twisted ankle. It isn’t ideal but Mike’s at least decently comfortable as a right sided full back so he’ll have to do. 10 minutes into the second half a patient Auxerre passing move culminates with Ba passing the ball inside for Joël, who turns, makes himself some space on the edge of the box with a little burst of pace and fires the ball into the right hand side of the net. We’ve had some luck on our side but in a match we’ve largely dominated up to this point, we’ve finally taken the lead over our rivals.

With half an hour to go Benoît Cheyrou throws me a curved ball, changing from his simple 4-2-3-1 to a flat 3-4-3 as he tries to find an equaliser. We respond by bringing out Project: Burnie Mk III. Kakuba, Captiste and Doucouré will form a back 3, Goujon will awkwardly slot in at right wing back and Hikem will be left wing back. I also bring Abdoulaye Sissako on for Phil Foden as a ball winner alongside Fomba in our central midfield 2 and Joël will be the number 10 behind a front 2 of Hicham Aidir and Adama Ba, who I instruct just to use his physicality to be a defensive forward, chasing down the back 3 and trying to create chances for Aidir. Both wing backs are also instructed to tightly man mark the opposing wingers.

The tactical change does the trick and we nullify ESTAC Troyes’ search for a second goal. The match ends 2-1 after a very satisfying comeback. The win also moves us up to 2nd in the league, which I’m incredibly happy with. To say that we’ve been predicted to finish 7th, apart from a couple of blips we’ve started this season in scintillating form. I’m feeling good about this year.

125 2 5 post

125 3 2 league

Mini-sode 125.5 >

DONE DEALS (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep124)

I’m not best pleased.

< Episode 123

I’m growing to learn that having a great academy is both a blessing and a curse. We’re getting closer to the end of the transfer window and the volume of bids for our young stars is getting huge. What makes it even more infuriating is that the majority of bids we’re getting are just staggeringly low. I’m only going to mention DONE DEALS from now on because there are certain teams from Ligue 1 who’ve wasted enough of my bloody time this Summer. So the first DONE DEAL of the week is versatile Texan full back Ed Bolton, who joins FC Chambly-Oise for the year. Good luck, Ed. Hopefully he’ll come back having played regularly and will be all the better for it.

124 1 1 bolton moves.png

There are no more DONE DEALS in the run up to our home match against recently relegated Stade de Reims, but we do have a fresh injury to deal with. Mike Kakuba is going to miss 3-4 weeks with shin splints. He’s made a good start to life in Auxerre so this isn’t ideal.

124 1 4 kakuba inj

Stade de Reims have had a shocking start to the season and they seem to have brought their relegation form into this season, which is excellent news for us. They started off by losing 0-3 away to Valenciennes and followed that up with a 0-1 home loss to Bourg-en-Bresse, but have since won their cup match against fellow Ligue 2 side FC Metz and a league match against USBCO, so actually they might be just now coming into form, which is not excellent news for us.

124 1 7 preview.png

I’m making a few changes from the side that very nearly beat Bourg-en-Bresse. A couple of them have been forced upon me, what with Mike Kakuba’s injury and the fact that Loïc Goujon’s been suspended for picking up 3 yellow cards in his last 3 matches. The rule in Ligue 2 is that 3 yellows in a player’s last 10 matches earns them a 1 match ban, but I think Loïc’s set some kind of record there. Mamadou Doucouré and Abdoulaye Sissako come in to replace them. We’re playing Project: Meatloaf and I’m also bringing in Phil Foden to replace Zoun and he’ll be playing off the right, but I’m putting him in a more central position today while he gets the hang of it, while Aguilar overlaps up the right wing. Corentin Tirard starts on the left wing in Adama Ba’s place to give us more width.

124 1 8 formations.png

We get off to a bad start when Mohammed’s corner in the 8th minute is nodded into the net by Mafuala, who was being double marked at the near post by Sissako and Aidir. I’m not best pleased. Just after the 20 minute mark we nearly go level when Hikem’s long ball over the top is missed by centre back… erm… Michael Hector. The error by the former Reading and Chelsea man and veteran of the Jamaican national team allows Hicham Aidir to run in behind and go one on one with the keeper, Carrasso. Carrasso comes out to narrow the angle though and Aidir’s shot deflects off his shoulder and goes out for a corner that comes to nothing.

After half an hour Mohammed gets free down the right wing and drills the ball into the middle, where Iloki arrives to double the visitors’ lead. Still less than impressed I decide that we may as well go for it. We’ll attack, be more fluid and roam from our positions. It makes no difference though and we’re 0-2 down at half time, although to be fair the first half has been extremely even. I toy with the idea of bringing off Foden and Aidir, who’ve both been poor today. Foden’s been poor in all of his appearances so far actually, which isn’t a great sign. I stick with them for now though and we’ll go out to control the second half.

Only a few minutes after the restart Doucouré takes a terrible touch and allows Iloki to nick the ball and run through on goal and shoot, forcing a good save from Lenogue. After the hour and with no comeback in sight I bring on Zoun and Ba for Foden and Tirard and we’ll go back to a normal 4-2-3-1 with Zoun providing the width and Ba cutting in. The changes almost pay immediate dividends when Fomba’s shot from 20 yards deflects through to Ba, but his shot is denied by another save from Carrasso. The keeper’s having a great game to be fair.

Andre replaces Aidir with 20 minutes to play but we don’t manage to find a way back, succumbing to our first league loss of the season. Weirdly by the time the final whistle blows I’ve got no complaints about the team’s performance. We matched Stade de Reims in the first half and actually came away the more dominant team overall. Goals are the things that matter though and I’ve got to say that certain players have let us down today. I’m starting to think that Phil Foden might have been a bad buy although he does still need time, Corentin Tirard is showing none of the qualities that made him a key player last year and Hicham Aidir’s had an off day. The day that I lose faith in that man is the day that I walk away from management.

124 1 9 post.png

124 2 10 pre match.png

Phil Foden actually bruises his head in training during the week. He should be back for our next match but I’m not entirely sure I want to play him.

124 2 1 foden inj.png

We do however have another DONE DEAL. I feel like Jim White. 19 year old central midfielder Chancel Kasongo has joined Belgian Pro League B side Tubize on loan for the year. You remember Kasongo, back when I first joined Auxerre I threw him in at the deep end, playing him in all 3 matches as we avoided relegation. With Joël coming in though and with me having more than enough central midfield options, Chancel will go off to test himself with regular football in Belgium’s 2nd tier. Good luck mate, let’s see if you can do well enough to win back a first team place when you get home.

124 2 2 kasongo loan.png

Screen Shot 2018-02-21 at 20.17.17.png

Our match against rivals ESTAC Troyes has been postponed because Adama Ba, Hicham Aidir and Mamadou Doucouré are all off on international duty and would’ve missed it. We were due to play them after our next match against USBCO, but we’ll now play Troyes in a couple of weeks.

124 2 8 postponed

Speaking of USBCO, the predicted relegation strugglers are living up to expectations at present. They’ve played 5 matches in all competitions so far, losing 4 and winning 1 – A 1-0 win over Red Star FC, which is also the only goal they’ve scored so far. I feel for them, but I feel like we’re starting to lose our way and a home match against a team in this sort of form represents a great opportunity to get back on track.

124 2 11 preview.png

We’ll be lining up with Project: Meatloaf Mk II, with Goujon coming back in for Sissako after his suspension and taking the holding man role where he’s excelled so far. I’m also bringing in Zoun and Ba for Foden and Tirard because frankly they’ve both been awful. Our young loanee Brahim Ferhat starts on the left wing for the opposition today. I made sure that both him and Isaac Sohna at Nîmes had it in their contracts that they were allowed to play against us because I want to see how they do against their parent club.

124 2 12 formations.png

I really do feel for USBCO. The first thing of note that happens is almost half an hour in when Fomba’s tripped by Arnaud Loquet, who just happens to be the only person to be booked thus far. He earns a second yellow and a red, leaving the underdogs more underdoggish than ever. Joël hits the free kick from 30 yards but it deflects through the wall and goes out for a corner.

With 10 minutes to go until half time we counter after USBCO’s corner breaks down. Adama Ba runs the ball from our penalty box all the way into the final third. He release Zoun on the right wing, who turns and whips in a low cross. The ball could not be any more on a plate for Joël Soumahoro, unmarked on the penalty spot, but his shot is weak and straight at Thuram-Ulien, who parries it and then smothers the ball before Ba can follow up. Poor from Joël. I want us to make more of our extra man so we need to control the game. We’ll play much wider, much quicker, pass into space to use the pace we have up front, we’ll be more fluid and we’ll close down much more to win the ball back faster and force mistakes from our opposition. Needless to say my changes have no immediate effect and we go in for the break goalless.

At half time USBCO change to an odd 3-2-3-1 formation, with Brahim Ferhat coming off to accommodate the tactical shuffle after a quiet first half. We’ll respond by really overloading them at the back. Foden comes on for Zoun and will cut in from the right as Ba does the same on the left, allowing our fullbacks to attack attack attack into the space they leave on the wings. I also bring on Sissako for Goujon to be the ballwinner in midfield.

5 minutes later we string some passes together following a throw in level with USBCO’s box. Sissako passes across the edge of the area to Fomba, who lifts his head and plays it on first time through the defence. Phil Foden is in space and is played just onside by one of their centre backs. The young Englishman swings his left boot at the ball first time and finds the net as I let out a huge sigh of relief. Maybe he’ll be alright after all.

With 20 minutes to go we win a free kick 30 yards out. Foden passes it short to Sissako, who plays a pass through to Hicham Aidir in the box. Our striker is in far too much space and he punishes USBCO with a deft finish into the near top corner. Andre replaces Ba not long after but the match ends 2-0. Despite our advantage I’m very satisfied with that result.

124 2 13 post.png

That result puts us 4th in the league, which I’m more than happy with. We still do have transfer deadline day to deal with though and while I’m not looking to bring anybody in, I think it’s going to be a long day of low-ball offers and frustration. The first youngster to leave is Robin Faivre. After some mild interest earlier in the Summer I eventually agree to Marseille’s offer of £750k for the 15 year old. We’ll also get a big chunk of his next sale as per.

124.5 4 faivre moves

The next lad to leave is Esteban Mercier. Like Robin there has been interest for Esteban before but I hadn’t received what I would call any “Serious” offers until AS Nancy Lorraine came in with half a million for the 15 year old midfielder.

124.5 5 mercier moves

I then pick up a knife and fork and get ready to eat my words, because I didn’t think I’d be bringing anyone in today but somebody happens to have caught my eye. Bilal Souabni is a player that I’ve seen before, playing for Morrocco’s U20’s with Hicham Aidir. He’s a 19 year old left back that plays for FUS Rabat in his home country and he’s available for free. He looks promising: Pacy, agile, well balanced and able to run all day. He’s also a hard working team player which as you’ll know is right up my alley. His technical attributes need some work but I’m willing to gamble on the fact that we can get them sorted out. A contract is duly offered which would see him join us on the 1st of December after his current contract expires.

124.5 7 billy

It doesn’t take long for Bilal to agree to my offer and what’s more, FUS Rabat are willing to let us buy him out of his contract for only £11k so that he can join us now. I willingly pay up.

124.5 8 billy accepted

124.5 9 billy joins

I quickly dub the young full back Billy and place him on the loan list. I’d put him in a similar category to Isaac Sohna: A young player with undoubted potential but who is not going to get enough football under me this year to progress.

124.5 10 billy

Quite a few bids come in straight away for Billy, most of which are from Ligue 2 sides. I’m half tempted to send him out to Nîmes Olympique so that he can play next to Sohna, but there are a couple of offers on the table that I just can’t turn down – Belgian Pro League A sides Eupen and KV Kortrijk, both of whom want to give him first team football. I’ll let him choose between them.

124.5 11 billy bids

He opts for Eupen, who we played in pre-season. It’s a solid choice and I look forward to seeing how he gets on in Belgium’s top flight.

124.5 15 billy moves.png

The next DONE DEAL as we creep closer to the end of the window is another of our 15 year old midfielders, Olivier Lenglet. He’ll move to Marseille for an initial £350k rising to £550k with additional fees.

124.5 16 lenglet moves.png

Screen Shot 2018-02-21 at 20.23.00.png

I’ve spared you a lot of the details over the last week or so, but suffice to say that Bordeaux have been bloody hounding me for Abdoulaye Traoré. With 2 hours to go before the deadline I try to negotiate them up to half a million for the striker but they refuse to pay up. With 45 minutes to go though they bid the half a million. I negotiate them up to £750k for wasting my fucking time. The window closes before they can send the paperwork through anyway though, so the deal’s cancelled. What a mess, Bordeaux.

124.5 20 deadline closes

124.5 19 traore cancelled

But then I let out another huge sigh of relief. The window’s closed. I can finally get some peace without constant phone calls asking if I’ll let my academy’s top prospects go for a fiver and half a Snickers. There’s nothing to focus on now but football.

124 3 1 league.png

Nerve (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep123)

It’s time for us to start our Coupe de la Ligue campaign.

< Episode 122

It’s with mixed feelings that I watch Isaac Sohna’s taxi pull away from the Centre de Formation. I’m 90% sure I’ve made the right decision in sending him on loan to Nîmes, but that 10% is niggling me. He gave a decent account of himself against Valenciennes after all. Nevertheless, it’s a done deal. Sohna’s gone and it’s up to him to train well, perform well and develop. Good luck, Isaac.

123 1 1 sohna moves.png

Another player on the move is 18 year old striker Serge Bamba. He’s pretty quick, fit and tricky with good technique and a free kick or 2 in his locker. Swiss Challenge League side Le Mont LS want him to be a regular starter for them this season and I accept their offer. Hopefully he too will benefit from a year away playing regular football.

Screen Shot 2018-02-19 at 15.38.43

123 1 2 samba offer.png

Yet another player off on loan is 18 year old American full back Ed Bolton. He’s an interesting player and strikes me as a future versatile squad player as he can hold his own physically, works hard, has a good team ethic and can play with either foot and at either full back position.

Screen Shot 2018-02-19 at 15.39.08

There’s a reason that we have several Americans like Ed coming through our ranks, having grown up in Texas or Colarado, and that’s because we have deep roots in both of those States, having been linked with both Colorado Rush and Texas Rush for the last 12 years. We get the first option on both clubs’ players and we also bring some of their junior players over to gain experience in a top French academy, with the happy byproduct of some of them breaking through into our Under 19’s.

Screen Shot 2018-02-19 at 15.39.26

Anyway, Ed’s attracted a tremendous amount of interest from his home nation but I’m sending him to FC Chambly-Oise in the French National League. American players, unlike most African players, count towards the Non-EU player limit so it’s in my interest to keep him in France so that he can continue to work towards citizenship. Plus, Chambly-Oise are one of the favourites for promotion so if they can pull it off that’ll be good experience for Ed.

123 1 4 bolton offer.png

With a heavy heart I also agree a fee with Marseille for Benjamin Valette, our incredibly talented teenage defensive midfielder. Their initial offer is around £900k but I want £2M for him. We compromise in the end, with Marseille paying £500k up front and another £2M over the next 2 years. I don’t plan on spending much more in this window anyway so the staggered payments don’t bother me. We also put in a clause that’ll give us 50% of his next fee, because obviously.

123 1 3 valette offer

Amidst all the outgoings, we do manage to bring in Mamadou Doucouré though. I’m very happy with this deal as the Senegalese International has got tremendous pedigree and has the quality to be in or around our first team.

123 1 5 doucoure joins

123 1 6 doucoure

We reject a few more offers, like Nancy Lorraine’s £450k bid for winger Alessandro Bassani and LOSC’s and Stade Rennais’ barely improved bids for skilful striker Abdoulaye Traoré.

And before my first Coupe de la Ligue match, Bamba’s loan move to Le Mont and Valette’s permanent transfer to Marseille are both tied up. It’s a shame to lose Benjamin but I think we’ve at least done some good business there.

Anyway, as I say it’s time for us to start our Coupe de la Ligue campaign. GFC Ajaccio are our opponents today, a semi pro side in the French National League. It may feel like I’ve been here for a while at this point but I still need to get to know some of these players and this match presents the perfect opportunity.

123 1 13 preview

123 1 11 cup build up

As per my usual first season mentality, I’m not overly fussed about this cup competition and will be fielding the players that either need to bed in, that haven’t had a real chance under me so far, or that I’ve been less than impressed with and want them to get a kick start against easier opposition. We’ll be playing a fluid attacking variant of Project: Meatloaf as even with our reserves we should have enough quality to see off a side from a lower tier. Bingourou Kamara starts in net. He was L’AJA’s starting goalkeeper for most of last season but has yet to feature for me. He’ll be protected by right back Issa Samba, centre backs Godspower Tower and debutant Mamadou Doucouré and left back Jérôme Mombris. Abdoulaye Sissako and Raf will take the centre of midfield with Phil Foden cutting in from the right, Corentin Tirard out on the left and Amine Chassaing playing behind striker Nathan Andre. In the absence of both our captain and vice captain who have been left out of the squad, Samba takes the armband for us today.

123 1 14 formations

10 minutes into the game, Raf plays a long ball onto the right flank for Phil Foden. The former City man takes the ball down well, cuts inside and has a pop, but the keeper catches it. Not a bad first effort.

A few minutes later the ball’s down the other end. Ajaccio’s right winger Zoubir capitalises on some hesitant defending by Mombris and nicks the ball off him. He crosses from the byline to the near post where Miquilan can’t quite get his shot away. He eventually manages to roll the ball across the face of goal looking for a team mate but fortunately Samba’s there to hoof it clear.

With half an hour gone the visitors are matching us better than I expected and I drop us back slightly to just try to control the game. Not long after, Andre picks the ball up from deep and dribbles forwards before having a crack at goal from 20 yards, but he puts it wide.

For the second half I want us making better quality chances so I urge the lads to patiently work the ball into the box. It makes no difference though, we make next to no impact on the second half. Tirard, who started today after his fairly alarmingly poor performance on the opening day, has not done himself any favours today and I hook him after the hour with Foden scooting across to the left wing and Zoun coming on and taking the right.

With 10 minutes to play, Foden too makes way. Hopefully Bassani can save the day. Alas the young winger’s no more able to score than any of our other players were before, and I’m so fucking bored by this drab match that I’m starting to break out the sodding rhymes.

Puel has a pot shot for the minnows in the dying seconds of normal time but he nearly puts the ball out for a throw. We go to penalties. It’s been a while.

“Who wants them?” I ask my players, who’re surrounding me in a tight circle on the edge of the pitch. Nobody’s overly enthusiastic but we eventually get 4 names down. Striker Nathan Andre and midfielders Amine Chassaing, Abdoulaye Sissako and Raf. “Anyone else?” I ask, starting to worry. A hand cautiously raises itself into the air. I turn around to face the volunteer.

“I will take it.” Says Mamadou Doucouré, our debutant centre back. I can’t hide my surprise, but I’m impressed too. This lad’s got some nerve.

“You’re in,” I smile. “Last up.”

There’s a hush around the ground as the 4000-odd Auxerrois fans watch ballsy young striker Nathan Andre place the ball on the spot. Andre runs up left footed, puts the ball high down the centre and the keeper flaps at it, unable to stop it from bulging the back of the net. Good start. By contrast, Cédric D’Ulivo’s walk to the spot is accompanied by a loud chorus of boos and whistles. The centre back steps up confidently though and slots the ball into the bottom left corner, leaving Kamara grasping at thin air.

GFC Ajaccio continue to match us after that. Chassaing scores to the bottom right, then Hamadou scores to the top left. Sissako scores down the middle, then Puel scores to the bottom left. Raf scores to the bottom left, then Zoubir scores to the top right. It’s sudden death from now on. 4-4 after 8 penalties and the only question is who will blink first, us or them. Mamadou picks up the ball and walks calmly to the penalty spot, where he places it down carefully. He counts his steps backwards and prepares for the run up. Come on mate. Make it a debut to remember. The referee’s whistle blows… The keeper dances on his line… Doucouré runs up… He slams it down the middle as the keeper dives to his right… But his trailing hand shoots up to bat the ball away. Bollocks. Mbae steps up for Ajaccio’s 5th penalty and dispatches it into the top left hand corner. GFC Ajaccio win 5-4 on penalties.

123 1 15 post.png

123 2 1 cup loss

Why on Earth did I let Doucouré take it? The deciding penalty and I gave it to the debutant. What a stupid fucking decision. To be fair it was a very good save by the keeper, throwing out a strong hand after already committing himself to diving away from the ball, but still. I’ve let Doucouré down there. His confidence, barely above rock bottom after being frozen out at his parent club, is now through the floor and we’re out of the cup at the first hurdle. I know I want to focus on the League but I was hoping to at least turn over the team from the division below in our first bloody game.

123 2 2 bassani debut

There ain’t no rest for the wicked though. The wicked of course being AS Nancy Lorraine, who are the next team to identify one of our young talents and insult us with a really awful low-ball bid. Esteban Mercier is a defensive midfielder that I quite like. He’s miles away from being the finished product but at 15 years old that’s probably fair enough. What impresses me though is his bravery. That’s one of those things that you just can’t coach. Either you have it or you don’t and this lad has it and some to spare.

Screen Shot 2018-02-19 at 15.40.33.png

Nancy’s £82k bid is swatted away without comment as I’m interested to see how he develops, along with another bloody bid for Bassani from FC Lorient.

123 2 7 pre match.png

Moving on from our Coupe de la Ligue disappointment then and after 2 games it’d be naive of me to read too much into our status as league leaders, but today we make the trip to take on Bourg-en-Bresse 01, who are breathing down our necks in 2nd. We both have 6 points out of a possible 6 but we have a slightly better goal difference with 4 to their 3.

123 2 8 preview.png

We’ll go with Project: Meatloaf Mk II for this one as I’m uncertain about going up against a side who’ve also won both of their matches without a holding man. Unsurprisingly I’m also making the full 11 changes from the side that lost to Ajaccio; Lenogue in net, Aguilar, Captiste, Kakuba and Hikem at the back, Goujon as the holding man, Fomba and Joel in the middle and Zoun and Ba on the wings supporting Aidir. Let’s get back on track, shall we?

123 2 9 formations.png

The first 40 minutes or so are pretty quiet, with the best chance coming after a quarter of an hour when Joël tees up Aidir but his shot is charged down by Bourg-en-Bresse defender Sangaré. With a couple of minutes to go before half time though Zoun runs the ball forward into the opposition half. He passes inside to Lamine Fomba, who sends it on to Hicham Aidir. Hicham bursts past his marker and toe pokes the ball from the edge of the box, sending it into the far bottom corner of the net.

As we go into the second half Bourg-en-Bresse start to show their intentions of pushing forwards and equalising, so we’ll pass into the space that they’re leaving behind. After an hour we win a corner on the right and Faouzi Hikem goes across to take it. He swings a fantastically vicious ball into the centre of the box and surprisingly it’s Adama Ba that rises to meet it, but he can only get enough contact for a glancing header that sends the ball wide of the far post.

Over the next 20 minutes I make a few changes and tweaks: First Foden comes on for Zoun and will cut in from the right, so both full backs will be encouraged to get forwards on the overlap past him and Ba and help us put the game to bed. For the last 10 minutes Sissako comes on replacing Joël, adding more steel to midfield.

We so nearly make it to full time unscathed, but Bourg throw the kitchen sink at us and it finally pays off when Ba is caught sleeping and Rabeasimbola plays a through ball behind him for right back Damour. Damour drills a cross in from the right touchline and Bègue’s there at the near post to apply the finish, levelling the game in the 91st minute.

123 2 10 post.png

Let’s be fair, Bourg-en-Bresse have taken 2 late points from us exactly a week after we gained 2 late points from Valenciennes. They say that these things even themselves out in football and it seems like this time they’re right. Besides, despite the fact that we’ve fallen below AC Ajaccio to 2nd in the table, 7 points from our first 3 matches is fine. It’s better than fine actually, it’s still a brilliant start so I’m staying optimistic for the time being.

123 3 1 league.png

Episode 124 >

No Words (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Ep122)

The referee blows his whistle to begin the 2021/22 Ligue 2 season.

< Mini-sode 121.5

I think it’s fair to say that our pre-season’s been mixed. We’ve done some good work in the transfer market so far and had some testing friendly matches where we’ve not only gained familiarity in my new systems but really pushed ourselves against tough opposition. On the other hand I could’ve done without losing Florian Ayé for 6 months and Phil Foden isn’t as integrated as I’d like him to be as his pulled hamstring has kept him out of most of our friendlies. Nevertheless, today is the day that we finally get to put everything we’ve been working on into practice.

122 1 2 preview.png

We’ll start this season as we finished the last – With a simple 4-1-2-3 named Project: Meatloaf Mk II. Xavier Lenogue will continue to be between the sticks for the time being at least, as he performed well there after my arrival. Mike Kakuba lines up for his debut on the left side of central defence alongside Ruben Aguilar, Captiste and Faouzi Hikem. Deep fried demon Loïc Goujon will be our holding man, with the enigmatic Lamine Fomba in front of him as a box to box midfielder next to attacking playmaker Joël Soumahoro, another debutant. I’m going to play with wingers today and I want to save Zoun as an impact sub like I did after my arrival last season, so Adama Ba starts on the right and Corentin Tirard takes the left, with vice captain and 3rd debutant Hicham Aidir leading the line. The referee blows his whistle to begin the 2021/22 Ligue 2 season.

122 1 3 formations.png

13 minutes in Aidir channels his inner Messi, dribbling into the La Berrichonne half and into the final third while holding their midfielder Castro at arm’s length. He dodges Castro’s challenge, cuts back across him onto his left foot, jinks past the poor lad once again and shoots with power. Delle makes the save, sending the ball out for a corner, but it’s a fantastic start from Hicham. He’ll have the fans onside in no time if he carries on like that.

La Berrichonne aren’t exactly threatening in the opening stages but they are having the lion’s share of possession, so we go on the counter just over quarter of an hour in. Almost instantly we put together a very slick passing move that ends up with the ball at Aidir’s feet again. He holds it up and slips in Lamine Fomba, who takes a shot but Delle catches it fairly easily.

After that the first half is largely devoid of action. In the 42nd minute with half time looming, I get the message out to go a bit narrower and play a bit quicker in the hopes that we’ll be able to strangle La Berrichonne’s patient passing moves and get the ball up to Aidir quicker. Before the break we do get the ball to him and he powers forwards towards the box. The striker’s a man possessed today, dodging a couple of challenges before letting fly from 20 yards. The shot has power but no accuracy though and the ball flies wide.

After the break I issue instructions to close down more and mark tighter, to try and put some pressure on our opposition and get us winning the ball back higher up the pitch. On the hour mark though we’re still deadlocked so I bring on Zoun for Tirard, who’s had a disappointingly quiet day. Zoun’ll take the right wing and Ba will cut in from the left.

5 minutes later, Lenogue thumps a goal kick forwards and Aidir nods it on. Zoun sets off at a sprint, causing panic in the defence. Exactly what I was looking for. The rapid Burkinabe winger bursts past his marker with the ball and runs it into the 6 yard box, but he gives himself too tight an angle and shoots across the face of goal, wide of the far post.

A couple of minutes later our free kick breaks down and is cleared by La Berrichonne. As they look to start a counter attack though Loïc Goujon wins the ball and pumps it back over the outrushing defence for Hicham Aidir, who’s played onside by their left back. He takes the ball down, dribbles into the box and blasts it into the far corner of the net, bagging himself a debut goal and giving us the lead. Good lad.

With 10 minutes to play, Adama Ba cuts inside from the left and passes to Aidir on the edge of the box. He takes a touch and pulls the trigger just in time to avoid a sliding tackle from a defender. The ball finds the bottom corner again, rippling the back of the net as the majestic Moroccan peels away in celebration. I have no words. Maybe I’ll never need to buy another striker again. I bring off Ba and replace him with debutant Phil Foden to give him some match fitness. He’ll slot in as a left winger.

After a couple of minutes Aidir slips the ball into the box for Zoun, who’s coming in from the right wing. He gets a shot in but the keeper rushes out and saves well. In the dying minutes Zoun gets loose again when Goujon gives him the ball in our half. He drives down the wing hugging the touchline and gets level with the box when Obiang puts in a tackle to send the ball rolling away into the area. Zoun rallies and gets to the loose ball first though and dribbles inside, before firing in our 3rd goal of the day. Stick a fork in this match, lads.

122 1 4 post.png

A 3-0 away win is what I would describe as a fucking fantastic start to a new season. It wasn’t a complete performance by any means but the second half was brilliant. Aidir’s off the mark and Zoun’s shown me some proper quality and justified my plan of keeping him on the bench, saving him for the latter stages. Add that to superb showings from debutant centre back Kakuba and holding man Goujon as well as good performances throughout almost the whole team and this has been an incredibly encouraging match.

122 2 1 aidir makes debut

122 2 11 pre match.png

As encouraging a performance as it was though, the transfer window’s still open and I’m still looking at the balance of the squad. As it looks as though Isaac Sohna’s going to be spending the season over in Nîmes I reckon that leaves us with 3 centre backs of sufficient quality that I’d actually trust to start for us, along with a couple of back ups. Therefore I’m dipping my toes into the market probably for the last time to sign another. After consulting with my scouts and watching some video reports I decide on former Paris Saint-Germain and now frustrated Borussia Mönchengladbach defender Mamadou Doucouré. He’s a good height at 6’1″ and is very well rounded and technically, mentally and physically strong. He’s also probably quicker and better on the ball than any of our other centre backs and is left footed, all of which could come in handy.

122 2 2 doucoure accepted

122 2 3 doucoure

Over the next few days we receive more offers for some of our players too: AS Nancy Lorraine’s £300k offer for left winger Alessandro Bassani is rejected, along with Partizan Belgrade’s £2.1 Million bid for Ruben Aguilar.

Another bid that comes in is for yet another of our promising youngsters and probably one of the most promising. Benjamin Valette is a 17 year old defensive midfielder very much in the Franjo mould of being physical, determined and hard working. Don’t let his ginger mohawk fool you, he’s a hell of a talent. Olympique Marseille approach us with a £600k bid but I turn it down as I value him quite a lot higher.

122 2 5 valette offer

122 valette

Benjamin’s not best pleased at my valuation of him. After sitting down with him and talking it through, it seems like his heart is set on a move away. I don’t want a player who doesn’t want to play for me at the club, so I tell him he can leave. I won’t let him go on the cheap though, I reckon he can go right to the top and players of that talent don’t come at bargain prices. In other news though, 2 of the Santos 4 have made it into the Domino’s Ligue 2 Team of the Week – Mike Kakuba and Hicham Aidir are also joined by Captiste and Loïc Goujon in being recognised for their fantastic performances against La Berrichonne.

122 2 7 totw.png

More transfer news follows: Young striker Brahim Ferhat completes his season long loan to USBCO, but I reject AS Nancy Lorraine’s bid for Alessandro Bassani.

And the offers just keep coming in, which I’m quickly finding to be an annoying byproduct of having a fantastic academy. LOSC and Stade Rennais both table bids in the region of £100k for 16 year old striker Abdoulaye Traoré, another player in the Franjo mould. He’s also pretty quick and very skilful. I reject the bids as he looks like a talent and £100k is nowhere near what I’d let him go for.

122 2 10 traore offers

122 traore

Then it’s Marseille’s turn to come knocking. A £250k bid is submitted for our 15 year old attacking midfielder Robin Faivre. Like Traoré he’s quick and extremely skilful on the ball, so I reject the offer. If he’s worth £250k at 15 I think it’s worth us holding onto him for a year or 2 at least.

122 faivre bid

122 faivre

Our next match is at home. We welcome Valenciennes to Stade Abbé-Deschamps, a side that also won their first match 3-0 against newly relegated Stade de Reims. They deserve a massive amount of praise for a very surprising result. Early as it might be, we’re top of the league but Valenciennes are in 2nd, behind us only on alphabetical order. Both teams’ confidence will be high so it should be an interesting game.

122 2 12 preview.png

In their first match they lined up with a good old fashioned 4-4-2 so I’ll be giving a competitive debut to Project: Burnie Mk III so that our 3 defenders can comfortably take care of their 2 strikers. I’m also making a couple of personnel changes: Isaac Sohna will come in for his debut and Nathan Andre also starts while Adama Ba and Corentin Tirard make way as we won’t be using wingers. Sohna will man mark their pacy striker Nuno da Costa and Mike Kakuba will take Edouard Butin, while Captiste acts as the ball player between them, mopping up loose balls and linking up with central midfielders Fomba and Goujon. Wing backs Aguilar and Hikem will be cautious, staying back to take care of Valenciennes’ 2 wingers but also coming forward to support attacks when they can. We’ve got plenty of legs in the centre of midfield and Joël will play behind Aidir and Andre in quite a fluid front 3.

122 2 13 formations.png

After a cautious start to the match we win a corner just before the 20 minute mark. Faouzi Hikem swings the ball into the centre and Goujon heads it goalwards. As the keeper makes his dive for the ball, Sohna rises at the near post to head it across goal in the opposite direction, but he can’t get it on target. We have a bit of a scare 5 minutes before half time when Xavier Lenogue collides with a striker and winds up with a deep cut on his arm, but after some treatment he stays on.

We go in for the break with the scores tied at 0-0 and I encourage Auxerre to keep plugging away. 10 minutes into the second half we get a great chance when Joël spots Aidir’s run and plays him in, but the striker’s shot is well saved by Kocik and the ball goes out for another corner, which comes to nothing.

With 20 minutes to go I bring on Zoun to replace Joël. In an attempt to find the breakthrough we’re going to an Antonio-Conte-esque 3-2-2-2-1, with Zoun and Andre going out onto the wings to add extra width. We also go more direct in an attempt to get us attacking with a bit more pace. 10 minutes on we’re still goalless and I bring on young Chassaing for Goujon to add a bit more creativity into midfield.

In the last couple of minutes, Osei-Berkoe cuts in from the left wing and takes a pot shot at our goal from 25 yards, which gives me a very brief panic attack before the ball flies over the bar. We enter injury time and the match seems destined to end as a bore draw, until Aidir drags a centre back out of position and creates space for Zoun to run into. Andre spots him and fires a pass into his path, which Zoun takes in his stride. The winger runs through on goal and slips the ball into the bottom corner. There’s not even any time for Valenciennes to come back at us as the ref’s whistle blows almost straight after kick off. Bloody magnificent.

122 2 14 post

That’s a massive result for us. Valenciennes came into this match on a high after demolishing a team that’s come down from Ligue 1 and just like La Berrichonne, we completely nullified them. Truth be told I would have been happy enough with that and a goalless draw, but we’ve sneaked all 3 points. I know it’s early days but I think this Auxerre side might have even more potential than I thought.

122 2 15 sohna debut

122 3 1 league

Episode 123 >

Domino’s Ligue 2 101 (Franjo: A Journeyman Story – Mini-sode 121.5)

As the French say, Allons-y!

< Episode 121

We’re not messing about now. The French Ligue 2 is a serious League for serious people doing and saying serious things. It’s the biggest league that I’ve managed in both in reputation and actual number of teams, unless you count the Portuguese Championship which had to be split up into many smaller leagues. We’ve got 19 opponents in the league this season so we’d best get to know them.

Screen Shot 2018-02-14 at 23.34.16

Athlétic Club Ajaccio

From: Ajaccio

Ground: Stade François Coty

Last Season: 8th

Predicted: 9th

Rivals in Ligue 2: N/A

Screen Shot 2018-02-14 at 23.34.30

Association de la Jeunesse Auxerroise

From: Auxerre

Ground: Stade Abbé Deschamps

Last Season: 16th

Predicted: 7th

Rivals in Ligue 2: ESTAC Troyes (Local), Bourg-en-Bresse 01 (Competitive)

Screen Shot 2018-02-14 at 23.34.44

Angers Sporting Club de l’Ouest

From: Angers

Ground: Stade Jean Bouin

Last Season: 20th in Ligue 1 (Relegated)

Predicted: 2nd

Rivals in Ligue 2: N/A

Screen Shot 2018-02-14 at 23.34.57

Bourg-en-Bresse Péronnas 01

From: Bourg-en-Bresse

Ground: Stade Marcel Verchère

Last Season: 15th

Predicted: 15th

Rivals in Ligue 2: N/A

Screen Shot 2018-02-14 at 23.35.12

Chamois Niortais Football Club

From: Niort

Ground: Pôle Sport

Last Season: 9th

Predicted: 12th

Rivals in Ligue 2: N/A

Screen Shot 2018-02-14 at 23.35.27

Clermont Foot 63

From: Clermont-Ferrand

Ground: Stade Gabriel Montpied

Last Season: 7th

Predicted: 10th

Rivals in Ligue 2: N/A

Screen Shot 2018-02-14 at 23.35.39

Club Sportif Sedan Ardennes

From: Sedan

Ground: Stade Louis Dugauguez

Last Season: 10th

Predicted: 14th

Rivals in Ligue 2: Stade de Reims (Fierce, Local), FC Metz (Local), ESTAC Troyes (Local), Valenciennes FC (Historic)

Screen Shot 2018-02-14 at 23.35.50

Espérance Sportive Troyes Aube Champaigne

From: Troyes

Ground: Stade de l’Aube

Last Season: 6th

Predicted: 6th

Rivals in Ligue 2: Stade de Reims (Local), CS Sedan Ardennes (Local), AJ Auxerre (Local)

Screen Shot 2018-02-14 at 23.36.03

Football Club de Metz

From: Longeville-lès-Metz

Ground: Stade Saint-Symphoriem

Last Season: 4th

Predicted: 3rd

Rivals in Ligue 2: RC Strasbourg Alsace (Local)

Screen Shot 2018-02-14 at 23.36.15

Groupe Sportif Consolat

From: Marseille

Ground: Stade de la Martine

Last Season: 18th

Predicted: 18th

Rivals in Ligue 2: N/A

Screen Shot 2018-02-14 at 23.36.26

La Berrichonne de Châteauroux

From: Châteauroux

Ground: Stade Gaston Petit

Last Season: 17th

Predicted: 11th

Rivals in Ligue 2: US Orléans Loiret Football (Local), Chamois Niortais FC (Local)

Screen Shot 2018-02-14 at 23.36.39

Nîmes Olympique

From: Nîmes

Ground: Stade des Costières

Last Season: 12th

Predicted: 8th

Rivals in Ligue 2: N/A

Screen Shot 2018-02-14 at 23.36.50

Racing Club de Strasbourg Alsace

From: Strasbourg

Ground: Stade de La Meinau

Last Season: 13th

Predicted: 13th

Rivals in Ligue 2: FC Metz (Local)

Screen Shot 2018-02-14 at 23.37.01

Red Star Football Club

From: Paris

Ground: Stade Jean-Bouin

Last Season: 14th

Predicted: 16th

Rivals in Ligue 2: N/A

Screen Shot 2018-02-14 at 23.37.11

Stade de Reims

From: Reims

Ground: Stade Auguste Delaune

Last Season: 19th in Ligue 1 (Relegated)

Predicted: 4th

Rivals in Ligue 2: CS Sedan Ardennes (Local)

Screen Shot 2018-02-14 at 23.37.23

Stade Malherbe Caen

From: Caen

Ground: Stade Michel d’Ornano

Last Season: 18th in Ligue 1 (Relegated)

Predicted: 1st

Rivals in Ligue 2: N/A

Screen Shot 2018-02-14 at 23.37.34

US Créteil-Lusitanos

From: Créteil

Ground: Stade Dominique Duvauchelle

Last Season: 2nd in French National (Promoted)

Predicted: 19th

Rivals in Ligue 2: Red Star FC

Screen Shot 2018-02-14 at 23.37.44

US Orléans Loiret Football

From: Saint-Ouen

Ground: Stade Bauer

Last Season: 11th

Predicted: 17th

Rivals in Ligue 2: La Berrichonne (Local)

Screen Shot 2018-02-14 at 23.37.55

US Boulogne Côte d’Opale

From: Villeneuve-d’Ascq

Ground: Stadium Lille Métropole

Last Season: 1st in French National (Promoted)

Predicted: 20th

Rivals in Ligue 2: Valenciennes FC

Screen Shot 2018-02-14 at 23.38.06

Valenciennes Football Club

From: Valenciennes

Ground: Stade du Hainaut

Last Season: 5th

Predicted: 5th

Rivals in Ligue 2: USBCO (Local), CS Sedan Ardennes (Historic)

Screen Shot 2018-02-14 at 23.33.39

I’m encouraged that we’re predicted to finish 7th and I’d certainly take that right now, but I do worry that I’ve got largely the same squad that’s finished 16th 2 years in a row, albeit with a couple of quality improvements. I’m certainly interested to see whether I can be the one to make these players actually realise their potential or whether they’re just going to sit by and let me fall by the wayside like the last poor sap. Enough talk though, we’ll never know unless we get this show on the road.

As the French say, Allons-y!

Episode 122 >